Author's Notes: Special thanks, always and ever, to Brenda...if not for her this thing would never have been written...

And to Yum@...gracious as always!

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions.  This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it.  Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.  Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).

Chapter 9: Jack

Watching Daniel's hands go white-knuckled around the soup mug, I look up quickly to meet his eyes....

It's something I've never seen in Daniel's eyes....

Anger...worse than that...rage. Cold and hot all at once and so close to the surface it makes my heart skip a beat...

I've seen a lot of things in Daniel's eyes over the years, but never anything this raw...

This dark...thing...in Daniel's eyes is so totally out of character, but is it really unexpected? Is it even really a bad thing? Maybe Daniel needs to get mad....

Even after Sha'uri disappeared, I don't think he actually expressed anger. He was determined, yes....sad, yes...even depressed for awhile...but angry in any obvious way? Not that I ever saw....

Maybe it's long overdue...

Maybe he needs to be pushed over that particular edge, too....

Maybe I'm just the guy who can do it....

Oh, boy...

"Hey, Daniel..."

He looks up at me quickly, then ducks his head so I can't see the dark, smoldering flash...He's trying to suppress this, just like he's been trying to suppress everything else he's been feeling since...

"Not now, Jack...."

Oh, but it has to be now....

I take a deep breath and prepare to dive....

"Did you ever stop to think what might have happened if you'd never opened the Stargate...?"

He looks at me like I just shot him. Of course he's thought of it...I doubt a day goes by when he doesn't. I keep going quickly, before he has a chance to speak...

"I mean think about it...No Sha'uri, no Skaara, no Ra, no Apophis...hell, no Goa'uld's.... "

He goes a couple of shades whiter than he was already...and gets up quickly, heading for the door.

'Uh uh, you aren't getting away that easily.'

I jump up and head him off at the door. He stops, but doesn't look at me.

"Yeah, think about it, Danny-boy...Think about what you started. Think about the things you could have saved yourself from if you'd never listened to Catherine in the first place..."

Daniel takes a deep breath, whispering, "Why are you doing this, Jack?"

I'm not ready to answer that question, yet, and I think he already knows it anyway...

"What if we hadn't taken out Ra? What if we'd never met Hathor?" If only. "What if we hadn't met Shyla or Nem or the Keeper or Machello...."

He looks up sharply at the name and I know I'm on the right track here...

"Think of it, no Machello taking over your body, no little Goa'uld busters making everybody think you've gone nuts..."

I'm interrupted there by a raised hand, not threatening...just warning me...

I'm not inclined to be warned...

"What's the matter, Danny-boy...? Hit a nerve...Too close to home? You got sent to that place because of those things, but maybe...just maybe...you thought that's where you belonged..? Where we thought you belonged?"

The hand flashes out, taking me across the chin...not much of a punch, he's too weak for that...On a hunch, I lightly reach out and slap him back. His eyes seem to explode in a fire of anger and hurt...and he hits me back....and again...and again...

Once he's let the leash off his anger, it's as if he can't stop it. He just keeps punching weakly at me until he's got nothing left to drive him and then collapses in my arms. He doesn't have enough energy left to even cry, just lays there limply in my arms breathing heavily....

When his breathing evens out a little, I ask, "Feel better?"

His head nods, but he says. "No..."

I laugh a little a that.

"You can be a real bastard sometimes, Jack."

I nod my head, I know it....I can live with it....if it works...

He raises a trembling hand to wipe his eyes, "Why, Jack?"

I don't know which 'Why?' he wants an answer to...

"Why is Sha'uri dead? Why did we leave you in that place? Why did we ever step through that gate in the first place...?"

He nods at all of them...

I only wish I could even begin to give him an answer.....

To any of them...

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