DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
“So here we are... Again.”
“It won’t be that bad. If it lasts much longer we can just call the SGC and have them fly a helicopter over here.”
“I still do not understand this ‘tarring.’”
“Oh for crying out loud! For the last time, they are putting tar on my road, meaning we can’t go anywhere as long as they’re working! You and Sam and Daniel have to stay here another night, lucky us!”
“Sheesh, Sir, get a grip! By the way, have you got some pajamas I can use? I don’t want to sleep another night in these jeans.”
“I don’t know, Sam. I’ll check. I can’t believe I wasn’t informed about the tarring months ago! I’ll be back in a minute.”
“What’s bothering him? I only asked for some pajamas. What a cranky person.”
“Well, if you had three people staying at your house because they were stuck, wouldn’t you be a little annoyed?”
“Yeah, but he didn’t have to snap at Teal’c like that.”
“I will be all right. I am only worried about O’Neill’s sanity.”
“Or whatever’s left of it.”
“Sam! Really. We should really do something to cheer him up, he would for us, but what would he like to do?”
“Um... How about a game?”
“A game, Sam?”
“Yeah... Truth or Dare.”
“Sam, I got a pair of flannel nighties that Sara forgot here. They’ve got polar bears on them, do you mind?”
“No, it’ll be fine, thanks, Sir.”
“What is ‘Truth or Dare?’”
“Who brought that up while I was gone?”
“I did, sir. We thought a game might cheer you up some.”
“And... you want to play Truth or Dare.”
“I thought of it, Sir.”
“Daniel, what do you think?”
“I’m game.”
“Oh, that was reeeeealy bad, Daniel.”
“He he he. I know.”
“What is ‘Truth or Dare?’”
“Sorry, Teal’c. Truth or Dare is like a game. We take turns, either having to tell the truth to a question asked, or having to accept a dare.”
“I see. Thank you Daniel Jackson.”
“Yeah.”
“All right. I’ll start. Daniel, truth or dare?”
“Umm... Truth.”
“Dang it, Daniel! You’re no fun! Let me think... What was the first thing that popped into your mind when you first saw General Hammond?”
“Sir, really-”
“Come on! If he has to pick the wimpy subject, at least let him answer my question.”
“I’ll answer, I’ll answer. I thought that his head should be used for a ‘before’ picture for a Rogaine commercial.”
“Daniel, are you serious?”
“Geez, Sam, no! I wondered where General West was. My turn. Teal’c, truth or dare.”
“I am unsure which one to pick.”
“Pick ‘dare’!”
“Sir, don’t pressure him!”
“I choose Dare.”
“Okay... I dare you to rub your stomach and pat you head at the same time.”
“I see no reason to.”
“Oh it’s part of the game.”
“I see...”
“So...”
“I am unable to.”
“What? Teal’c, even I can do that!”
“Jack, let him try again.”
“I cannot do it. I was never asked to do such a thing before. I shall work on it when I am on base next time.”
“That’s okay, Teal’c. Now ask Sam truth or dare.”
“Captain Carter.”
“Yes?”
“Truth or dare?”
“Umm... Dare.”
“Teal’c, mind if I give her a dare?”
“You may, O’Neill.”
“All right, Sam, go outside, see the workmen out the window?”
“Yeah...”
“Go outside and ask one of them out on a date.”
“No! Sir! Come on, let’s keep this clean.”
“That is clean! Besides... If we kept it clean it would be as exciting as watching me knit with my grandma.”
“...You knit with your grandma, Sir?”
“As a matter of fact I do.”
“Hah! Sam, this is a great thing to tease him about!”
“You’re just mad cuz you can’t knit!”
“Not true! Sam, this isn’t any fun with him.”
“I know. Come on, let’s get him!”
“Aaaaghhhhhh! Let me go! Sam, Daniel! What’s going on? Why are you pinning me down?”
“Teal’c, can you go get some rope from the colonel’s drawer?”
“I will.”
“What’s going on? Come on, you guys!”
“Daniel, have you got a hankie?”
“Right here.”
“Good. We’ll use that to stuff in his mouth.”
“Here is the rope you requested.”
“Thanks, Teal’c. Okay, Sam, let’s tie his hands together... Now his legs... His mouth is stuffed, that’s good...”
“Wmmph thpphhhh hhhhpppppllllll rrrrppppphhh yppphhh dopppppphhh!”
“Okay, sir. Sorry about that. Are you ready to play nice?”
“Yppppphhhhhhhh!”
“Good. My turn. Jack, Truth or Dare?”
“Ddddppppphhhhhh!”
“Whoops. My apologies, sir. Daniel, can you untie him?”
“Yeah.”
“Poo! Ya had to put the hankie in, didn’t ya?”
“Okay, Jack, I dare you to sing and dance to ‘The Star-Spangled Banner.”
“What!?”
“Come on, Jack, are you scared?”
“Fine! ‘O-oh say can you seeeeeeeeeeee-’”
“He he he...”
“Psst, Daniel!”
“At the twilight’s last gleeeeaminggggggggg!”
“Yeah?”
“And the mouuuuuuntains red glare!”
“Did you remember to set up that video camera that you found in Jack’s room?”
“Oh saaaaay does thaaa-aaaaat star-spangled baaaaane-er yet wa-av...”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Oer the la-and of the freeeeee, and the hoooooome of theeeee brave!”
“Very good, sir. Nice jig, too. Do you jig with your grandma as well?”
“No, Carter. Daniel, truth or dare?”
“Um, truth.”
“Oh for- Sam, can we make it a rule that you have to rotate your choice?”
“Well then it’s not a choice, Sir.”
“Come on Sam, Daniel doesn’t have any secrets to tell us.”
“O-kay...”
“Daniel, you chose Dare.”
“I did not!”
“Well close enough. I dare you to... Let me give you a makeover.”
“A makeover?”
“Hah! Come into my room, Daniel.”
10 minutes later...
“Ohmigosh, Daniel, is that you?”
“Daniel Jackson?”
“Jack, I’m going to kill you for this.”
“I think you look good, Danny. Black leather, cowboy boots and spiked hair. It’s... you. Don’t ya think, Sam?”
“Oh it’s you, Daniel... It’s definitely...
“You.”
“Fine. Do I have to keep this on?”
“Until the game ends.”
“Oh boy. Teal’c, you get truth this time.”
“All right.”
“If you could say one thing to Apophis, what would it be?”
“Daniel, what kind of a question is that?”
“My kind, Jack. ‘Sides, it’s his first game ever, gotta go easy on him.”
“I would tell him that he is hurting innocent people and he must stop.”
“Good, Teal’c. My turn. I have to have truth.”
“Captain Carter, who is your favorite person who works in the SGC?”
“Janet Fraiser. We’re close friends. Well, I mean, besides you guys. But you don’t count.”
“Oh, I feel loved.”
“Shut up, Sir. Your turn. You get truth. Just to get back at you, if you could ask one question to the pope, what would it be?”
“The POPE?!”
“I’m waiting...”
“Hi, Pope, do you like your hat, Pope? Do you know where I can buy one, Pope?
“Actually, Jack, that was two questions.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know a thing about the Pope. Who is the Pope anyway?”
“I have no idea.”
“What is a ‘pope’?”
“Geez, never mind, Teal’c.”
“Hey, sir, there’s someone at the door!”
“What do ya want, mister?”
“I’m here to tell you that the tar is dry now, you can leave.”
“Thanks. Well, gang, looks like you can move out now.”
“Wait a minute... Move out?”
“Yeah. Back on the road, back to your residence, apartment, home, you’ve heard of it?”
“We should stay longer, Jack. After all, we have to finish playing the game.”
“And I want to wear the flannel nighties.”
“I would still like to know what a ‘pope’ is.”
“Fine! Stay another night! But Daniel, you aren’t getting a pair of my pajamas, you know.”
“Oh... Do yours have polar bears on them too?”
“No they don’t.”
“That’s too bad. Maybe you could teach me to knit and I could make a pair for you.”
“Okay, that does it. I’m going to kill you now.”
“Oh, sir, maybe this isn’t the best time to mention this, but Daniel and I set up your video camera and taped this whole game.”
“You what?!”
“Yup, Jack. We sure did. I can’t wait til General Hammond sees that.”
“You wouldn’t dare. Sam, you could get into trouble... You bound and gagged me... And I’m your CO!”
“We only did that because we love you, Sir.”
“Oh yeah. Whatever you say, Sam. Now let’s just rerecord over that...”