DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Jack O'Neill had never really even thought about it being Valentine's Day. Ever since the disintegration and eventual loss of his relationship to his former wife, Sarah, he had tended to purposefully lose track of such sentimental holidays and focus instead on his day to day activities. And with all that was going on in his life since the reopening of the Stargate, he had more than enough on his preverbal plate to keep his mind occupied with other things. So it wasn't until he came into his office at the SGC and found a gift sitting in the middle of his desk that the significance of the day crossed Jack's mind.
"What the hell?" He muttered to himself, puzzled by the sight of a small red, heart shaped box of candy with a little gold teddy bear attached to it and a slim vase holding a single white rose all carefully placed on his desk. As he moved closer to inspect the items, O'Neill became aware that there was an envelope with a card inside lying flat on the desk surface next to the candy box. Curiosity was now consuming Jack and, without even bothering to use the fancy letter opener Carter had gotten him for his birthday.. a pewter replica of a hockey stick…he tore the envelope open and pulled out the card.
It was a simply designed card neither mushy looking nor garish. The cover had two trees with leafy branches reaching out to each other, their limbs bent in a vaguely heart shaped image and sheltering two androgynous looking children at play. It read:
JACK, GLAD WE HAVE GROWN CLOSER…HAVE A HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There was no signature and the card had originally been blank and the message was typed in. O'Neill held the mysterious card in one hand and used the other to rub his hand over his nose and mouth, squeezing both slightly in frustration at not knowing who his mystery admirer was. Not getting any answers from the card, he turned to the box of candy and the little gold teddy bear.
The box of candy was a Whitman's Sampler…his favorite….and held no clues either other than whoever had purchased it knew Jack's passion for Whitman's chocolate. Jack turned his attention to the teddy bear. It was roughly five inches in height, sat neatly in the palm of his hand and was covered in silky golden 'fur'. O'Neill brought it up close to his face looked it right in its little brown plastic eyes and growled. "OK, tell me who sent you here or I start pulling out stuffing."
Despite the threat, the little bear remained Mona Lisa enigmatic and no revelation was forthcoming. Sighing in defeat and not one to actually inflict harm on defenseless stuffed toys, O'Neill put the teddy bear back down on the desk and bent down to inhale the delicate fragrance of the white rose. He really liked white roses, they were his favorite flower, though he didn't ever recall revealing THAT little tidbit to anyone here at the SGC…or had he? // Maybe I said something to Carter when I was rambling incoherently on that damn ice planet.// The colonel pondered…he couldn't imagine doing such a thing, but maybe he had.
But, he realized as a frown of worry creased his handsome face, if this was from Sam, then things were going in a dangerous direction for both of them. Sometimes Jack found himself wishing he and Carter where not in the situation or positions they were in….she was a very beautiful, intelligent and warn-hearted woman that O'Neill could easily become attracted to. But, for the most part he viewed her as a friend and as a comrade in arms
//Looks like she might see you as something else, Jack me boy.// His inner voice warned, //Better have a talk with her now before it goes too far.// The colonel left his office in search of his team member.
Col. O'Neill found Capt. Samantha Carter in an isolated corner of the SGC's vast laboratory area. Her lovely blonde head was bent diligently over a computer print out of the latest stellar drift simulation she had ran.
"Ya know, if you connect those dots just right, it looks like a butterfly." Jack comment wryly getting her attention.
Carter flashed him a quick smile of acknowledgment that held only a glimpse of annoyance as she went back to her graph work on the print out.
"Or it could be a moth." He amended and reached out a finger to trace a pattern on the paper.
Carter gave up her attempt to finish what he so obviously wanted to interrupt her in. "Is there a problem, sir?" Her light blue eyes were suddenly filled with concern that an emergency had surfaced.
"Carter the gifts were very nice and I know it's Valentine's Day and all, but well ya know….me colonel, you captain." He kept his tone light and casual.
"Gifts, sir?" Her delicate brow wrinkled in puzzlement, creating a slight vertical crease above her nose.
"The candy and stuff you left on my desk this morning….I'm glad we've grown closer as friends too, Carter, but..' He trailed off as the puzzled expression on her face deepened. Then O'Neill cocked his head to one side and narrowed his eyes in realization that she didn't have a clue about this. "You don't know what I'm talking about, do you." He concluded.
"No, sir, I don't. Are you saying someone left a Valentine's Day gift on your desk?" Even as she tried to keep a smile of amusement contained, it still slipped past her control and gave an upward tilt to the corners of her mouth.
"Yes." The colonel responded becoming both slightly annoyed and embarrassed now.
"And you thought it was me." Her smile widened.
"Obviously, it's not." Jack grumbled starting to feel foolish.
"No, sir, it wasn't me. Honestly I hadn't really even thought about it being Valentine's Day and even if I had sir…well like you said, me captain, you colonel." She shrugged her shoulders in a gesture of *and that's all there is*.
He knew Carter meant no harm and she was being honest about the fact that his only position in her life was as commanding officer first and friend second. But it still carried a sting of rejection that left him wondering again about what toll this project was taking on him emotionally. Yet, Jack kept this carefully hidden from this woman.
"It sounds like you might have a secret admirer, sir." Sam offered, seeing the look of hurt on the colonel's face he had thought was so carefully hidden.
"Beautiful." Jack groused sarcastically, his hands fluttering in exasperation. "Any clues you could offer me?" He gave her a glance of askance.
"Nope..sir." she was doing nothing to hold back the amusement dancing in her eyes and molding her lips into a smile. Jack just waved her back to her work with an impatient hand and sauntered out of the laboratory.
O'Neill gave a brief thought to asking Dr. Fraisier if she had been the one to leave the present on his desk. But, after realizing that Carter saying no had stung his masculine pride more than he expected, the possibility of confronting Janet and having her be equally as innocent of the gift giving and equally as uninterested in him would be just too much to take in one day. Instead, Jack retreated back to his office to contemplate the mystery on his desk some more.
The candy, the teddy bear and the rose were still sitting exactly were Jack had found them and they were still as mysterious as before…in fact even more so now that he had ruled out Carter. //And too cowardly to ask Janet.// his little voice chided him. He picked the little teddy bear up again and idly stroked it's soft man made fur with his fingers as he searched his mind for an answer to who could have given it to him. The only thought that crept out for inspection was the remote possibility that Sarah had sent them to him.
"Ya, right." He spoke aloud in a bitter, cynical tone. "Don't even go in THAT direction, Jack." He scolded himself.
"What direction?" A masculine voice asked from the open door way of his office.
Startled by the voice, Jack glanced over to see Dr. Daniel Jackson regarding him with curiosity in his eyes. "Never mind..and what the hell are you doing sneaking up on me anyway." O'Neill snapped as he hastily put the teddy bear he had been caressing back down on his desk.
"I wasn't sneaking, I knocked." Daniel informed the other man as he came on into the office and sat down in the chair across the desk from the colonel. Jackson reached over and picked up the stuffed toy to admire it.
"You did not knock." Jack denied, eyeing Daniel with besetment wondering why Jackson always seemed to catch him in off guarded moments more than anyone else did.
"Yes, I DID." The archaeologist defended, staring O'Neill straight in the eye. "You were just to mesmerized by Miss Bear here to notice."
"I wasn't mesmerized by the bear…I was trying to figure out who left all this stuff on my desk." Jack's voice arched into a slight whine of protest.
"I did." Daniel announced calmly as he put the teddy bear back down by the box of candy. When he raised his eyes to focus on O'Neill again, he found the colonel staring at him in surprise and suspicion. "What?"
"You..you gave ME this? Is there something I should know about, Daniel? Maybe some feelings you haven't told me about?" Worry and just a touch of panic tinged Jack's questions.
Jackson stared at him dumbly for a few moments until realization of what Jack was implying dawned in him. His blue eyes grew wide with denial. "Nnn….No, Jack. God, no..that's not what I mean!"
"Then what the hell is this all this about, Daniel." Jack's right hand swept the air above the gifts on his desk to indicate them.
Jackson didn't answer right away and a look of sadness overtook his boyishly handsome face giving it the appearance of suddenly aging a bit right before O'Neill's eyes. A heavy sigh escaped from his lips and then words of explanation followed.
"I tried to ignore the significance of the date, but it's kind of hard to do when your whole life is on a series of mission schedules and you have to constantly be aware of the dates and the times around you." He paused and his eyes went a softer shade of blue as memories played behind them that only he could see.
"As hard as I tried to not too, I just kept thinking about how much I wished I could be with Sha're….buy her some silly little gift or a flower. Which is really stupid because she doesn't even know what Valentine's Day is." Daniel ended on a self-berating note.
"It's not stupid, Daniel." Jack offered.
"I just got so…obsessed with the idea that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. And I don't understand why. I mean our wedding anniversary came and went and I was ….well Okay isn't exactly right, but I handled it well enough. But this….this just got to me" A hitch of emotion crackled in Daniel's voice as he spoke.
"So you bought me something instead." Jack surmised. "But why me, why not Carter?" He asked curious to understand Daniel's motivation and still having that uncomfortable panic feeling.
"I didn't want to give her or anyone else the wrong idea." Daniel stated simply.
"What about giving ME the wrong idea?" Jack questioned his brown eyes filled with concern and a touch of aggravation.
"Well, you are kind of cute." Daniel couldn't help but tease when he saw the stricken expression on his friend's face.
"Daniel!" Jack's voice held a early warning tone of a storm of anger brewing that Jackson was all too familiar with. Jackson held his hands up in a gesture of surrender.
"I was in the card shop yesterday looking at all the cards I could have bought for Sha're...feeling myself getting lost in the pain of not having her here with me and having it threatening to make me fall apart right there when I suddenly noticed that there were other cards."
"Other cards?" Jack asked, not even aware that he had picked up the teddy bear to hold again.
However, Daniel noticed and he held back an affectionate smile at the sight of this tough guy soldier taking simple pleasure in having the plush toy in his hands.
"Cards to give to other people you care about. People like your parents, your brothers and sisters…your best friend." At the last mention, Daniel gazed steadily into the eyes of the man across the desk from him. Blue eyes met brown and Jackson allowed the smile he had been holding back to come forth. "In case you hadn't noticed, Jack, that's you."
"You don't have very high standards, do ya." Jack quipped to cover up his sudden feeling of awkwardness over this revelation….hell he had enough trouble dealing with mushy women let alone a guy getting all misty eyed over being his friend. Yet he knew with absolute certainty that he himself was damn proud and glad to call Daniel Jackson his friend as well.
"Well, it was you or Maybourne, but I didn't know what kind of candy and flowers he liked." Daniel quipped right back sensing he was making Jack uncomfortable and he needed to lighten things up a little.
"Me or Maybourne, huh?" Jack nodded his head and arched his eyebrows in mock wonder at the choices. 'Tough choice, was it now?" He asked affecting a heavy Irish brogue.
"Very tough." Daniel intoned seriously, but his eyes were twinkling with amusement.
Jack suddenly turned contemplative as he raised his right hand to cup his own chin and allow his forefinger to rest across his lips for a moment, then he asked. "And just how did you know my favorite flower and candy, Daniel?"
"You told me." Jackson responded.
"I told you? When?" Jack was clearly confused.
Daniel shook his head in amazement. "Well, I guess you were pretty drunk that night."
"What night, Daniel." Annoyance was creeping back into O'Neill's tone.
"The night after you came back from taking the crystal clone home." Jackson reminded him gently. "You told me that you were going to go home and get....and I quote 'really pissing drunk'…. and I came by later on because I was worried about you."
"Yeah." Jack conceded, uneasy with the memory and what specifically had driven him to get pissing drunk. "And, as I recall, you joined me."
"Yes, I did and we spent the night discussing our wives and how much we miss them." Daniel eye's had gone softer again as the memory of that evening played in his mind. Jack had been so drunk that all his defenses had been down and Jackson had gotten a rare glimpse of the pain and loneliness this man carried around with him in the empty space in his heart where his relationship with Sarah had once been.
Daniel saw his friend wince at his own memory of the evening. No doubt he was angry at himself for revealing so much to someone else.
"I was pretty drunk too, but I remember you telling me that you and Sarah used to get each other a little box of Whitman's chocolates and a white rose for Valentine's Day." Daniel stopped when he saw the stab of pain in Jack's brown eyes.
O'Neill's grip on the little teddy bear tightened as he tried to fight back the flood of memories of Valentine's past when he had the love of his former wife secure in his life.
"I'm sorry, Jack…I guess I shouldn't have done this."
Jackson's voice, filled with regret and apology filtered through to Jack and he settled his gaze on the man across from him. O'Neill wanted to fling sarcastic words at Daniel to create denial of his pain, but in his heart, he knew that above all others, this man knew and understood in his own way everything that Jack kept locked inside. He also understood in a blinding flash that Daniel was trying to ease both their pains with this innocent gesture of affection and friendship. And, in another equally blinding flash of insight, Jack realized he was touched by the gesture and could appreciate it.
"It's ok, Daniel…as long as there really isn't anything I should know about here." Jack quirked a smile at his friend.
"If I start falling in love with you, Jack, I'll let you know." Daniel assured him playfully and relief that all was well and accepted shone brightly in his eyes.
"You better." Jack warned him in feigned seriousness. "So, wanna piece of chocolate?" he asked turning his attention to the brightly wrapped box and unwrapping it.
"I thought you'd never get around to offering me some." Daniel sighed as O'Neill held out the chocolate delights.
"Just don't take the ones with nuts in them, they're my favorite." O'Neill exhorted, his brown eyes watching intently as Daniel chose a chocolate from the box. When he had chosen, Jack pulled the box back to make his own selection with great care.
"I'm glad you like the bear so much." Daniel remarked around a mouth full of razzberry in dark chocolate as he noted that the colonel was still holding the toy in his left hand.
At Jackson's comment, Jack seem to become suddenly aware that the plush toy was indeed in his hand. A light flush defused on his cheeks. "Ok, so I like the bear....tell anyone and I'll …." He let the threat hang as he set the toy back down on the desk.
Daniel smiled and waved his hands in placation. "Not a peep from me, I swear."
Then he reached over and gently picked up the soft, cuddly teddy bear and gazed at it solemnly. "I named her Sha're." He announced quietly.
Jack looked up from selecting another chocolate and gave the younger man a puzzled stare. "You named it.. her Sha're?"
"Yes." Daniel acknowledged as his fingers smoothed the soft fur around the toy's eyes.
"Then you should keep it." Jack reasoned
In response, Daniel gave a sigh of acquiescence and handed the teddy bear back to O'Neill. As Jack took it, he heard Jackson explain to him.
"My greatest wish is for my Sha're to somehow be in safe place until I can get to her and bring her back to me." Daniel paused to stare directly into the eyes of the man he called his best friend. "I can't think of any safer 'place' for her to be than in your hands…hold on to her for me Jack until I can get her back, OK?"
"Okay." Jack whispered overcome by the trust and depth of emotion he had somehow come to inspire in Daniel Jackson….and, he had to admit, he was both terrified and honored by it.
Daniel got up to leave, knowing both of them needed a little space after the intensity of this encounter. At the door, he paused to leave O'Neill with one last thought.
"Oh, and Jack, have a Happy Valentine's Day….sweetie." Then be bolted out of the door barely in time to avoid a chocolate covered missile headed in his direction.