DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
SG1 stepped through the Stargate and took in the scene around them. They were in the middle of a forest clearing with weak rays of sunshine penetrating the boughs overhead. Daniel Jackson, the team's archaeologist, spotted something and started walking to his left.
"Over here, guys. There's a monument - I think it has hieroglyphs on it."
"So, what does it say, Daniel? Welcome to our lovely, tree-covered planet?"
Daniel turned and looked at Jack, exasperated.
"Give me a chance, it's covered in ivy."
As he pulled the vegetation away he sucked in a sharp breath.
"Come on, Danny, share!"
"It's dedicated to Hathor. It says "she is the most.... beautiful goddess. Women will... always rule, they are superior.... to weak, stupid men...""
At this, O'Neill looked hurt and Carter tried unsuccessfully to stifle a smile.
"Are you sure that's what it says?" asked the Colonel.
"Yeah, it goes on in pretty much the same vein for the next ten lines or so. Then it welcomes all travellers to this planet."
"Any indication of which way to go?" asked Carter.
"No, sorry"
Teal'c pointed behind the monument, "O'Neill, there is a track."
They set off through the trees, following the twisting path. The forest was quiet, there was no bird song, just the rustling of the wind in the leaves. Teal'c led the way, his eyes darting around, on the alert for possible threats. He was followed by Jackson who appeared deep in thought. Carter and O'Neill brought up the rear.
"So, Colonel, do you think we could have landed on a planet where women are truly appreciated?" Sam asked, smiling innocently.
Jack just grunted and glared at her.
After an hour or so the trees began to thin out and they could smell smoke. Beginning to move forward more cautiously they found themselves at the edge of a village. They crouched down and watched people milling around, carrying food, driving animals, generally going about their daily lives. There were fifteen or twenty small round huts clustered around a much larger central building. All the houses seemed to be made of wood with thatched roofs, even the large one. After a few minutes observing the village Jack whispered to Daniel.
"So, what do you make of it?"
"Possibly Norse in appearance, though that wouldn't explain the monument to Hathor. Have you noticed they are all men?"
The rest of the team looked back at the village. Daniel was right, there wasn't a woman in sight.
"You will come with us".
The deep, booming voice had come from behind them. Teal'c twisted round, his weapon ready, only to face another Jaffa with his staff already raised. Four more Jaffa stepped out of the undergrowth. O'Neill smiled at the guard.
"I think we'll come with you."
The rest of the team followed his lead and raised their hands.
Five minutes later they were inside the large building in the centre of the village. They were pushed forward until they were standing in front of a raised platform that had several elaborately decorated chairs on it. Shadows danced on the walls, thrown by the dozens of candles that illuminated the room. They glanced around, taking in their surroundings.
"What now?" muttered Jackson.
"The Queen is on her way. You will be quiet!" shouted the Jaffa behind them, bringing his staff down hard on Daniel's back. The scientist crumpled to the floor, moaning.
"Daniel!" shouted Sam, starting to move towards him. A Jaffa barred her way with a staff weapon.
"Its OK," groaned Daniel, "I'll be OK."
He slowly dragged himself back to his feet just in time to see a procession enter the room. The beautiful woman leading it was aged about forty and wore a long blue dress decorated with silver embroidery. Her long dark hair shone in the candlelight. A group of about twenty other women followed her, all dressed in a similar fashion. When she reached her throne on the platform she turned to face SG1.
"Who are you and why do you visit our home?"
O'Neill began, "We are explorers..."
"Silence! I was not speaking to you."
She looked straight at Captain Carter.
"Your slave is insolent. He should be punished. Would you like me to take care of it for you?"
She smiled at Sam, looking like she would enjoy every minute of whatever the punishment involved. Licking her lips she eyed Daniel and Jack appraisingly. Sam's eyes widened in shock. If it wasn't for the predatory look on the Queen's face and the Jaffa guards pointing their weapons at them this could be quite amusing - Colonel O'Neill her slave? Wait till she told Janet Frasier about this!
"No! He is not my slave, he is the leader of our party."
"Impossible! Men are not capable of leadership. They are too feeble-minded. You will be made comfortable and quarters will be found for your slaves and your Jaffa. I will speak with you later."
Before Sam could try to argue she had swept out the room, her entourage following.
"Feeble-minded! Who does she think she is? Arrogant, stuck-up, daughter of a ....."
"Sir! Calm down, you're not helping."
Daniel intervened, "I think we should play along. If we don't upset them, we'll either be able to negotiate our way out or they'll give us more freedom and we should be able to escape."
Teal'c nodded, "I agree with Daniel Jackson."
"All right, already! I guess you're right. Carter, you're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Me Sir? No, absolutely not, Sir!"
Sam shook her head in what she hoped was an emphatic manner whilst O'Neill continued to glare at her suspiciously. A guard approached.
"You two with me."
He motioned towards O'Neill and Jackson.
"See you later, Madam." Jack said, bowing.
"Bye, Sam," Daniel added, grinning and shaking his head as they were led away by the guard.
A woman came up to Sam.
"Please come this way, your Jaffa may accompany you."
Teal'c and Carter were led out of the building and to one of the smaller ones.
"He can stand guard."
The woman waved a hand in Tealc's direction and went inside, Sam following her. Teal'c took up a position just outside the doorway. The hut was sparsely furnished with just a bed in the corner. The only light came from the fire that roared in the hearth on the other side of the room.
"You have been provided with more suitable dress - please get changed."
She pointed to the bed where the new clothes lay and turned to leave.
"Wait, what happens now? Where are my... slaves?"
"They will be brought to you. I must go. I am not supposed to talk."
She bowed her head and hurried out the door. Sam turned to the bed and picked up her new dress. She smiled to herself - at least it wasn't Air Force issue green!
Meanwhile, in another hut, Daniel and Jack had also been provided with new outfits.
"I'm a Colonel in the United States Air Force, I can't wear this. It's indecent!"
"I don't think that's strictly true, Jack. It just doesn't have a shirt."
"But its silk.. and look at the colour!"
A little while later Sam heard Teal'c speak.
"O'Neill, Daniel Jackson. You look ....."
There was a very long pause after which Jack spoke.
"We know what we look like, thanks Teal'c. How come you get to keep your own clothes?"
Intrigued, Sam went to the doorway her eyes widening as she saw her two friends wearing extremely well fitting, brightly coloured trousers and not much else.
"Hi there.. er.. my slaves"
Both men swung round to face her. In front of them stood a beautiful woman wearing a deep red floor length velvet dress that seemed moulded to her figure. Daniel was the first to speak.
"Wow, you look terrific, Sam."
"Nice dress, Captain," muttered Jack.
Sam smiled and tried very hard not to stare. She hadn't realised what good shape Jack and Daniel were in. Their bare chests were proving very distracting. Did they spend all their spare time working out?
"You'd better come in."
They all sat round the fire comparing what they'd found out. Teal'c had been gathering information while he had been standing outside the hut - the ruler, Queen Melena, wasn't a Goa'uld, but worshipped Hathor. There were guards everywhere but he suspected that they were not real Jaffa, just dressed to look like them. He believed the planet was a matriarchal society in which the men were enslaved and only allowed to do manual work.
"This outfit is hardly practical for heavy labour, now, is it?" pointed out Jack.
Daniel looked up, "Guys, I overheard something as we were being brought over here."
"What?"
"Actually, there are two kinds of slave, the manual labourers and ...um ..... well, they've assumed we're the other sort."
Daniel was looking increasingly uncomfortable.
"You're not being very clear here, Danny."
Daniel nervously glanced up at Carter, then seemed to find the floor very interesting indeed.
"I... er... they serve the women..... um..... personally."
Carter let out a little yelp as she worked out what Jackson was driving at.
"Oh, you're not. I mean, you're my.......?"
"Yeah, guess so," Daniel grinned sheepishly at Sam.
"Will somebody please explain?" Jack pleaded.
"Er... put it this way, Sir. What's the one thing a woman can't do without a man?"
Jack still looked puzzled.
"Have children," said Sam, blushing furiously, "Sir!" she added as an afterthought.
Now it was Jack's turn to look embarrassed.
"Right, kids, we are going to work out how to get out of here, and fast!"
They were still trying to come up with an escape plan when the woman whom Sam had seen earlier came in.
"What are you doing? Why is your Jaffa in your abode?"
At this Teal'c glanced at O'Neill, who nodded imperceptibly, then stood up and went back to his position outside the hut.
Sam stood up and tried to reason with the woman.
"I wish to speak with someone in authority. We are being held prisoner although we are no threat to you."
"Her Majesty is on her way." At this she took a lingering look at Jackson and O'Neill, a look that made Daniel blush and Jack even angrier. "You will await the Queen's pleasure."
After she had swept out of the room, Jack and Daniel turned to face each other.
"Well, Danny, somehow I don't think Her Majesty wants us for a little intellectual conversation!"
"I hope you're wrong, Jack."
"So am I," added Sam, which caused them both to swivel round towards her. Jack broke the silence.
"Aw, Carter, I didn't know you cared."
"Of course I care...."
Sam's voice tailed off, then she tried again.
"Look, I don't want you guys to have to.... do something you don't want to do...... "
"I think we get the general idea, don't we, Jack?"
"Yeah, no sweat, Captain. We'll be fine, whatever she wants us for..."
He turned back to Sam and smiled, a smile meant to reassure her, when there was a commotion outside and Queen Melena marched into the room followed by several other women.
"Your name is...?" she directed at Carter.
"Captain Samantha Carter. We are explorers, we mean you no harm. If you let us go, we will leave your planet and you will never see us again."
The Queen considered this. She walked slowly across the room towards Jackson and O'Neill.
"When you arrived you possessed weapons. How do you explain that if you are peaceful?"
"We carry them as a precaution. We never fire first."
"I see....."
She had stopped right in front of Daniel who was resolutely looking at the floor.
"I have an idea."
The Queen smiled at Sam. The smile never reached her eyes.
"If you give me one of your slaves the rest of your party may leave."
"No!"
Sam was panic-stricken, Daniel usually did the negotiating, she felt totally out of her depth. She stammered the first thing that came into her head.
"No..... they are both very dear to me. I will not let them go."
Queen Melena paused and walked towards Jack. Sam breathed a sigh of relief, perhaps she could talk her way out of this. She was just glad that she couldn't see Jack's face, she was sure he would think it was funny.
"I can understand that, they are both prime specimens."
At this, Colonel O'Neill started coughing. Daniel smiled apologetically at Sam and slapped him on the back. The Queen stepped back slightly and raised an eyebrow.
"Perhaps a compromise..."
"Well, it would depend on what that was, Your Majesty."
"You let me borrow one of them for the night. If he pleases me, you may all leave in the morning."
Sam didn't know what to do, she looked at Jack and Daniel. Jack moved his hand slightly, indicating that she should offer him, Daniel was staring at the floor again. Sam Carter came to a decision, taking a deep breath she spoke.
"You may borrow this one."
She walked over to Jack and put her hand on his shoulder.
"He is older than the other, more experienced. He will please you, Your Majesty."
The Queen seemed lost in thought, staring at the fire. Then she glanced up at Carter and made her way over to where Daniel was standing. As she began to speak, she ran her hand suggestively down his chest. Sam saw him swallow hard.
"No, I want this one. He is younger, fitter, less insolent. No bad habits."
"But Your Majesty... really, this man is... very skilled, much, much better than that one."
Sam winced at what she had just said then very carefully stole a glance at Jack. Their eyes met and he raised his eyebrows slightly. She would never hear the last of this when they got back to SGC.
"You confirm my decision by trying to protect him. He is obviously your favourite. He will be with me tonight or none of you leave."
She turned to go. One of the guards started to push Daniel towards the door.
"Stop, let me speak to him before he goes!"
The Queen nodded her assent.
Sam pulled Daniel to one side.
"I'm sorry, I tried."
Daniel smiled philosophically at her. He shrugged.
"Hey, I'm not quite as innocent as you two seem to think I am, you know."
Sam tried to smile back.
"Yes, but I feel responsible. I must have said all the wrong things, I'm sorry."
"I don't think it would have made any difference. Don't worry, I'll be OK."
The guard began to prod him with his staff.
"I think he wants me to leave. See you in the morning, then we'll all be able to go home."
Sam grabbed his hand, reached up and kissed him on the cheek.
"Good luck, Daniel," she said quietly as he was virtually dragged out the door, "I think you're going to need it."
The Queen's entourage filed out after her, leaving Sam and Jack alone. Carter walked over to the door and called Teal'c, who came in a few moments later.
"I should not stay Captain Carter. On this planet Jaffa are only guards, they have to remain outside the house of their mistress. I will arouse suspicion."
Jack wasn't paying either of them any attention.
"That woman was a Grade A man-eater. She'll chew him up and spit him out long before morning."
He was pacing up and down the room restlessly. Teal'c and Sam exchanged a look.
"He said he'd be OK, Sir."
"Yeah, to make you feel better after you made such a hash of negotiating," he snapped back at her.
"I did my best...."
"I'd hate to see your worst."
However much Sam tried to stay calm she found the stress of the last few hours catching up with her. She could feel the anger building up.
"Offering you was your idea, not mine."
Jack span round to face her, eyes blazing.
"What can I say? She's got bad taste."
"What was I supposed to do?"
"What's the matter, Carter? Can't handle the pressure?"
The way he was taking his frustration out on her was totally unjustified. Sam couldn't remember the last time she had been so mad, all reason and logical thought had gone out the window.
"What's the matter? I'll tell you what the matter is. You're an arrogant, self-centred son of a bitch."
There was a stunned silence as they all took in what she had said. Teal'c appeared even more confused by the human race than normal. He glanced at first Jack then Sam, shook his head and quietly left the hut. Sam didn't know where to look, she could feel her heart pounding. No matter how furious she was she shouldn't have spoken to her commanding officer like that. Jack was standing very still, staring at Sam. He seemed to come to a decision. Walking over to her he gently turned her to face him.
"Captain... Sam. I was out of line. I'm sorry for losing my temper. I.... just.... hate not being in control. I wouldn't have done any better."
Sam looked up at him hesitantly.
"Apology accepted, Sir. I'm sorry too."
There was a long awkward silence. Jack spoke first.
"Some kind of weather we're having, Captain."
Sam laughed in spite of herself.
Daniel was pushed along until he came to a building on the far side of the village. It was surrounded by guards all eyeing him suspiciously. He stumbled as they shoved him roughly inside.
"You! In there! You will wait for Her Majesty."
As Daniel's eyes got used to the dim light in the hut he noticed it was richly decorated with tapestries and furniture. One of the ornate hangings caught his attention and he decided to have a closer look. It showed a woman dressed like Queen Melena seated on a white horse. There was writing around it, it seemed to be in the same language as the monument by the Stargate.
"Ah, you're already here!"
He swung round to find the Queen standing immediately behind him. She smiled seductively and put her hand on his shoulder, moving closer, invading his personal space. Her perfume was sweet and overpowering. He felt his heart beginning to pound.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in, Your Majesty. Um..... this tapestry is fascinating - was Queen Angelina an ancestor of yours?"
The Queen seemed surprised.
"You can understand the writings?"
On the other side of the village, Sam, Jack and Teal'c were having no success in escaping. The only way out of the hut was by the door, the walls were very solid indeed. Sam had managed to leave the hut and walk about fifty yards before she was politely but firmly returned by a guard. Teal'c and Jack had fared less well, they had been dealt with more violently. O'Neill rubbed his bruised arms gingerly.
"I can't see a way out. Every time we try something we get caught and brought back. I hate to say this but I think Danny is on his own on this one."
Carter sighed deeply and carried on bandaging Teal'c's hand.
"I think you're probably right, Sir."
"I concur, O'Neill."
"So you can't read this?" Daniel asked.
The Queen shook her head.
"No, the skill was lost many years ago. What does it say?"
"Queen Angelina, the brave, was victorious in battle against the Arnoli. She lived until she was eighty-two years old when her daughter, Susannah, became Queen."
"I have heard tell of her. She was a great ruler. Can you read the others?"
She gestured at all the other tapestries and smiled nervously at Daniel, a hopeful and almost friendly smile. He felt a wave of relief wash over him.
"Sure. I could teach you how to read them if you like."
Teal'c had gone back to his place outside the hut. He sat down and began to meditate. Jack turned to Sam.
"I guess we ought to get some rest."
Sam nodded in agreement, then glanced across at the bed. The rest of the room was completely bare - no chairs or cushions, just the bed.
"Sir, I suppose we ought to share. Is that OK with you?"
"Of course, Carter, we're both adults."
Sam walked across to the bed and climbed in, Jack following her. He was shifting from one foot to the other, rubbing his hands together. She turned over to face the wall, sensing his discomfort. She felt the bed move and heard Jack mutter,
"Goodnight, Captain."
"Night, Sir."
Their years in the military kicked in and they fell asleep almost immediately, facing away from each other, like two bookends.
The following morning Daniel emerged from Queen Melena's house feeling positively euphoric. As he squinted in the sunlight he took off his glasses and polished them. It had been exhausting but it had been worth it - he'd spent all night teaching her to read the writing on the tapestries. For once it was him, Daniel Jackson, who had rescued SG1, instead of being the one who got them into trouble. And he hadn't had to serve the Queen "personally". She'd been so grateful, she could actually be quite pleasant once you got to know her, though she did still have some strange ideas about men. Never mind, they'd be back home at Cheyenne Mountain soon. Daniel just couldn't help smiling - he looked like the cat who'd got the cream.
When he reached Sam's hut he spotted Teal'c standing outside.
"Good morning, my friend."
Daniel beamed at the Jaffa.
"Good morning, Daniel Jackson. Are you feeling well?"
"Never better, Teal'c. Are Sam and Jack inside?"
He nodded and followed Daniel into the hut. As Jackson's eyes adjusted to the light he realised that his two friends were lying together on the bed, Sam sprawled across Jack's bare chest, his arms around her. Daniel smiled to himself and cleared his throat very loudly.
"Are we interrupting something?"
"What?"
"How did we ......?"
Carter and O'Neill sprang apart, incredibly embarrassed. Jack recovered his equilibrium first.
"You look very pleased with yourself."
"Yes, Daniel, what happened?"
"Well, Sam, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, but Melena did say that...." He screwed his eyes up and pursed his lips as if struggling to remember. "... that I taught her a lot and that she would never forget me."
He grinned at them. Sam and Jack just stared at him open-mouthed. He gestured towards the door.
"Oh, and by the way, we can go home now."