DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
His first trip on this cosmic fun-house ride had not been his most favorite thing ever done, but since then Daniel had seriously revised his opinion of the wormhole experience. Far from being repelled by the idea of being disassembled and shot down a tube to be thrown back together at the other end, Daniel found that the concept rather appealed to his deeply latent daredevil sensibilities. Daniel knew full well that if he had been blessed with a little more coordination he could have afforded to have vented those reckless impulses more overtly in this lifetime. And would have. As it was, he had bowed to the wisdom of the maxim 'know thyself', opting to value self preservation over self gratification and thereby deciding to leave such activities as sky-diving, hang-gliding and driving fast cars to those individuals who would doubtless have better odds at surviving them than he would. Still, he was quite sure that the need to feel the breath of danger on the back of his neck, even subtly, was largely what had been responsible for driving him to travel all over the world in search of what man had once been, done and known. The draw to danger was at least as ultimately irrepressible to him as his boundless curiosity and his driving thirst for knowledge and understanding.
Faced with the choice of being able to pick only one word from the lexicon of all the words he had ever learned how to utter in every tongue he had ever learned to speak as the only word he would ever be allowed to say – ever – there was only one word he would select, without hesitation or regret.
Why.
The theorists had not been able to come up with a satisfactory explanation for the 'why' that he was enjoying right now. If it was, as they said, one made the trip from one side of the wormhole to the other in gazillions of little bitty pieces, how was it that one's awareness and sense of self remained – intact?
In short, how could you be both a jigsaw puzzle and completely self-aware and conscious at the same time?
He didn't know either, but he certainly enjoyed the experience. Almost as much as he enjoyed watching them try to explain it and fail.
Right now, if he had been given the answer that everyone else sought, he could have cared less.
Daniel spread arms he should not have been aware of having so as to better fly upon the wings of the universe and far away from what had just happened behind him. Though his head knew why what had been said had in fact been said, his heart did not seem to have the comfort of that knowledge. It knew only that another was in pain, terrible, terrible pain, and that something had to happen to change that. Soon.
Daniel did not feel badly for himself. What had been said was not what moved him to action. While there was no question that Jack was an unsurpassed master of verbal inventiveness and expression, what had just been said to him back there really was not the worst he had ever been called. The most original, perhaps, but certainly not the worst. No, it was not the what. It was the why …
Another 'why'. Another one to add to the long list of the 'whys' that had happened to him and as a consequence of having done so caused him to become what he was.
Many years ago, the biggest 'why' of all had happened. It was this one that he now remembered as he thought about what had just passed between him and Jack, for even though both events were separated by many years and many, many more 'whys', this big one was the one he now turned to, for it was the one that defined what he was and directed what he needed to do.
On that day he had seen a thing that no one should ever have to see, whether they were eight, or eight hundred. Seeing it had hurt him almost to the point of killing him, but much to his surprise, he discovered that not only had he survived, but that as a consequence of not only seeing but also surviving, he was no longer the same.
He saw the world very differently from the way it had appeared to him before the 'why' had changed everything. What was more, as a result of this fundamental shift in his perceptions he felt compelled to respond to what now happened to him in a way that never would have occurred to him when he was unchanged.
What that 'why' had brought him was the wisdom that comes as a result of intense suffering. To know pain is to be have your eyes opened, to be made aware of its existence all around you in ways that will not permit you to continue to go through life oblivious to the suffering of others as you once were able to do before you knew better. That insight also forms within you an intense resolve never to knowingly or deliberately cause another to suffer. Or to stand by and do nothing in the face of the suffering of another.
Well, at least it did to him. He had been young, the pain had been intense, the understanding did not come all at once, but when it did he had made a vow to live his life according to the dictates of that wisdom and awareness, a vow that he had adhered to and lived by every single subsequent day of his life.
He had never broken it, never fallen away from what it demanded of him, never not done whatever it had required of him. Keeping it had even gotten him killed once.
Oddly enough, that had happened saving the life of the same man who now needed him to keep it again.
Well, keep it, he would. To the jaws of death and beyond, Jack. If that was what it took…
He'd ridden Wormhole Transit often enough now to be able to gauge when they were about to pull into the station. Or maybe in his case the more accurate analogy would be, more often than not, about to be hurled AT the station…
He was passing the remaining few seconds amusing himself wondering if there was anyway he could talk the Quartermaster into making knee and elbow pads part of the standard equipment issue (helmets were already covered) when he suddenly stiffened as a strange, rippling electric current sang through him. Not unpleasantly, but definitely noticeably.
Whoa! This is new! Not sure if I should be worried or simply enjoy it while it lasts…
But it seemed as if there was no more time. He was about to come to the end of the line. Too late he remembered that due to the 'introductory momentum' Jack's shove had provided his soon- to-be-reintegrated-and-moving-faster-than-usual particles, there was very little chance that he was going to come out the other side either on his feet or in any way – gracefully.
So much for dignity. He fervently hoped that the reception party had not assembled at the gate yet. Just once he would have liked if these people could have seen him make an 'entrance' that did not present him upside down, sideways or ass over teakettle
Guess that day is not going to be today
Resigned to his fate he arrived, sailed out the other side of the gate successfully reassembled and frankly air-borne as expected, described a graceful arc through the air, rolled and hit the ground in a tangle of limbs and then continued to tumble down a long flight of stairs that were not supposed to be there to finally land flat on his back spread-eagled, staring up at the ceiling of a room that very obviously was not the Stargate clearing on P7J-843.
Aw, for cryin' out loud, Toto, what the hell did you do with Kansas?
Braced as he was for the fair skies and equally fair damsels of P7J-843 Jack was completely unprepared for the sight that greeted him upon his emergence from the event horizon of the destination wormhole. Instead of fresh air, sunshine, lotsa trees and a band of happy people about to take him somewhere where he could hopefully get roaring drunk and oblivious to everything for a few hours, Jack found himself in a large metal box.
Okay, so it was a room, but there didn't seem to be any way in or out of it except the way they had come in so that pretty much fit his definition of a box thank you very much.
He and the Stargate appeared to be standing on a wide stone platform that topped a long flight of stone stairs that along with the DHD in the middle of the room pretty much seemed to be all that was in here. Four walls all 'round. Floor below, ceiling above, all accounted for and apparently all composed of some kind of dully gleaming silver metal This stuff was pretty uniformly – blank, except for the section of the wall directly across from the gate. That wall was floor to ceiling side to side covered in some kind of writing and inscriptions. He was too far away to make out any real details, but that was Daniel's territory anyway, wasn't it…
Daniel… I didn't mean…
Looking down he saw the object of his shame. Somehow Daniel had ended up on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Jack realized with a kind of a sick rush he had a pretty good idea exactly how THAT had come about. It was all right, though, Sam and Teal'c were at his side, helping him to his feet, checking and verifying that there was no harm done.
No physical harm…
Jack stood there, still not moving, still not feeling as if he deserved to join the others as he watched Daniel dust himself off, grin sheepishly at Sam and Teal'c, then tilt his head and look up at him.
Here it comes. Whatever he says, however much he despises me, it's still not nearly as much as I deserve.
Daniel looked at him up with eyes as clear and far bluer than those of the skies Jack had expected to see upon arrival. Those eyes lit up when they alighted upon him, and he waved up at Jack while flashing him an enormous and entirely honest smile that made his face literally shine with enthusiasm.
"Hi Colonel! You're not going to believe this, but I don't think I got a single bruise!"
Just as suddenly, the burst of youthful enthusiasm was interrupted by a burst of youthful confusion as where they were finally registered on Daniel.
"Oh wow – this isn't P7J-843 at all, is it does anybody know where we are wait a minute, what's this…" His voice trailed off as his eyes came to alight on the inscribed wall behind him. All other considerations immediately fell to the wayside as Daniel rushed toward the location of the latest mystery that had grabbed his attention.
Braced for the rejection and condemnation he knew had to come, Jack was completely unprepared for what Daniel had offered up to him in its stead. Daniel's friendly and affectionate greeting slammed into Jack as viscerally as if someone had delivered an actual blow to his solar plexus. Only years of self-discipline enabled him to restrain himself from clutching his middle and doubling over in response to the perceived pain. Although it was not real, it might as well have been.
Again, springing unbidden, unwanted, white-hot from that place where all that was the worst of him was hidden the rage. Unreasoning anger… not supposed to forgive… why won't you hate me – what do I have to DO to you to get you to hateme….
With the resurgence of the rage came a sudden image. His fists in Daniel's shirt, as before, slamming him up against one of those pristine metal walls again and again until the surface behind his head was wet, slick and red…
With a shuddering gasp of horror Jack banished the image and struggled to push the anger back down into the box. Okay, now he was getting scared. Daniel might be annoying but reacting THIS way was going waayyyy over the top. Time to get a grip on himself and pretend to be a leader of men.
Stay away from him, don't even look at him, just do the job, don't think about any of it andeverythingwillbefine…
Jack pasted his very best 'forcryingoutloud' look on his face and started to stride down the stairs while barking, "Carter! Do you have any idea why I am not standing on P7J whatever with a drink in my hand?"
The woman addressed immediately left off of her sweep of the wall to the left and strode smartly to join him when he reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Well, yes, sir, " she answered curtly. "It can only be for one of two reasons."
He emitted an impatient sigh and made a 'give me more' gesture with his right hand.
"Which would be…what? Exactly?
Carter flushed a little, suddenly feeling very insecure under the weight of the Colonel's glare. This really was turning out to be a really bad day…
"Well sir," she began, the words tumbling out a little too quickly in her nervousness. The gate appeared to be functioning normally on both ends and there also did not appear to be any anomalous phenomena in the wormhole itself –"
Jack pulled a face. "English, Captain, if you would be so kind."
Carter took another deep breath and continued on, still not trusting herself to look directly at the man she was addressing.
"Sir, if there has been no malfunction of the equipment and yet we still are not where we are supposed to be then logically it can only be because either the destination was misdialed – "
"And we all know that is not what occurred," Teal'c supplied gravely, coming up to Carter's side to give her some moral support.
"Okay Captain, so what's behind door number two?
Feeling much more confident with the imposing Jaffa at her side Sam at last was able to look her Commanding Officer in the eye as the dissertation continued on much firmer ground.
"The only other possible explanation is that somehow something interfered with the matter stream. Diverted it somehow. I don't know how, but that is what must have happened. It's the only other thing that could have happened."
Jack pursed his lips in disgust and took a few steps away from the pair before turning back to them and replying.
"Well, THAT gets us exactly… nowhere." He turned and began to walk away from them once more, trying as he might not to get pulled toward Daniel as he began to pace the room assessingly.
"You guys been all over these walls? Any signs of any openings? Cracks? Doors? Windows? Anything at all that looks like anything that opens or closes?"
"There is no detectable way to leave this place. I looked very carefully to see if there was. I was unable to succeed."
"Good enough for me, Teal'c. There is absolutely no way to go get in or out of this – space. Therefore what you are telling me is that we are in a really big empty sealed – box."
Teal'c eyes did not waver from his. His expression did not alter in the slightest, nor was there any change in his voice.
"That is correct, Colonel O'Neill."
Jack frowned and took a few more steps towards Daniel's side of the room. As he turned back once again to Carter and Teal'c he allowed himself to glance at the young linguist out of the corner of his eye.
Daniel was staring raptly at the inscriptions on the wall before him, an expression of pure bliss on his face. Whatever he was looking at, he was completely – gone. Like as not had totally forgotten there was anyone else in the room.
Jack suddenly felt an urgent need to get the hell outta Dodge. He wasn't sure what it was. Claustrophobia, some obscure premonition of doom, or just not liking the idea that someone had yanked a chain and brought them here for some reason he probably didn't want to know about. Whatever it was, he wasn't going to ignore it.
"Okay kids, can anybody think of any good reason why we shouldn't just blow this Popsicle stand right here and now?"
No response. They were learning.
"Right answer! All right, Captain, what say you hit the ole Dial Home Device and figure out how to get us to the party. " He started to stride toward the last member of their team as he said, slightly louder than he intended,
"Daniel! Come on now, we're going!"
Daniel whirled at the sound of Jack's voice, a shocked expression on his face. He looked up, saw Carter about to touch the key that would activate the first chevron, a look of alarm registering clearly upon his features. The second he saw what she was doing he started to bolt toward her, gesturing for her to listen to him, a shout ripping from him.
"No! Sam, DON'T! Don't TOUCH it!"
The three things happened almost simultaneously.
Daniel's trajectory brought him up even with Jack even as he stumbled and would have fallen if Jack had not caught him.
Sam keyed in the first chevron on the Dial Home Device…
The floor directly beneath Jack and Daniel disappeared: locked together the two men dropped out of sight with frightening and silent swiftness and then just as quickly as it had been taken away, the patch of floor that had betrayed them reappeared to seal off the secret of where they had gone.