DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
I am really not good at waiting. As long as there is something I can do I don't even notice time passing. In fact I routinely lose hours, even whole days, while immersed in the study of an artifact or manuscript. And when I'm exploring a new world or in the thick of battle the last thing I notice is the time. But right now? Right now the three people I care about most in the universe - and I'm not just saying that for effect - are out there somewhere. I don't know if they're dead, or alive, or in need of help and all I can do is wait.
I really should go lie down like the general suggested. I finally had to sit down because I was beginning to feel like I was going to fall down. My stomach - well it's not really my stomach, it's on the other side where my appendix used to be but now isn't because it burst and I had to have emergency abdominal surgery which was oh so fun - anyway, it hurts like hell. Granted it's not the same excruciating pain I was in right before Doctor Frasier rushed me into surgery, but it still hurts. I know that if I were in bed where I'm supposed to be someone would have given me something about an hour ago. If I mention that I'm in pain it's a sure trip back upstairs and I probably won't be able to sneak back down here again any time soon.
Everyone is treating me like glass, you see. The way General Hammond and Major West are looking at me when they think I'm not paying attention to them, along with the gentle way they're speaking to me, says that they're afraid I might shatter at any moment. Possibly go nuts like I did when that thing of Machello's got into my head. Well, maybe they're only worried about infections, internal bleeding and my accidentally pulling my stitches out. It may just be me that obsesses about my sanity. Hey, if you had a grandfather who had spent twenty years institutionalized you'd probably be a tiny bit worried about whether it was genetic, too. Of course I know now that there's nothing actually wrong with Nick. He was right about the aliens all along and is every bit as sane as... well as I am.
Where was I? Oh, right. Right. They think I'm going to break. Okay, I'm a little worried about that, too. If Jack and Sam and Teal'c are... gone I'm not at all sure what I'm going to do. I can't see myself staying here without them, but there really isn't anyplace else for me to go. No, that's not true. There's literally a whole universe out there. There just isn't anyplace I want to go. Abydos isn't home anymore without Shau're, even though Kasuf and Skaara would be glad to see me. As far as any other world goes... Well, I know I'd just be forever thinking how Sam would be excited by this, or Jack would be annoyed by that. You see I always figured that if we did go down it would be together. We started this together and I was sure we'd finish it the same way. I never figured I'd be left all alone.
I wish they'd at least come to say goodbye. Not Jack, I know he couldn't, and Teal'c was off world. Sam could have stopped in, though. Just for a second. Let me know what was going on so I wouldn't have to hear it from some airman who's name I don't even know who was only in the Infirmary because he needed a band aid for a paper cut. I'm sure Sam thought she was saving me from worrying. Maybe Frasier even told her not to tell me. Probably figured they'd be back before I could miss them since they were all supposed to be gone on leave and I wouldn't have been expecting to see them anyway. But how could they think that I wouldn't find out that my team had gone off on a suicide-mission without me? If anything exciting happens around this place everyone knows it before the end of the day. I'd rather have heard it from Sam instead of as third-hand gossip. It wouldn't have made the wait any easier, but at least I could have wished them luck.
Damn. I can't think like this. They're okay. They gated to someplace safe and are just waiting long enough for us to unpack the Antarctic gate before they come home. They'll be back. All I have to do is wait.
I am really not good at waiting.