DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).
Daniel was trying to talk Jack into leaving.
"Dammit, Daniel. I am not leaving you alone with this!"
Daniel sighed, all too obviously trying to talk over the pain in his head. "Jack...please...I don't want you to go through that again...not for me...." Daniel's voice trailed off in pain that was not entirely physical.
Jack felt a sudden gut-wrenching sympathy for his friend, but remained adamant "Will you get it through that thick, over-educated skull of yours...I'm not going anywhere. Besides if no one else is around, how do we know it'll work. What if there has to be a 'receiver'."
Daniel was holding his head constantlyy now, the effort of shielding Jack showing plainly in the barely focused eyes and sweat-drenched face.
"Better...be sure, Jack." The soft voice was both a warning and a plea. Jack knew all too well that Daniel didn't want to be alone, but he was also warning Jack that things could, and probably would, be worse this time.
Jack had the good sense to weigh the full meaning of that. He could make a fair guess at what some of it would be, but...this was Daniel...his best friend.
Daniel looked up then, eyes shining in the firelight; a mixture of pain and a gratitude beyond the ineffectual ability of words to express.
Jack busied himself with building up the fire and bringing the water and other necessities over to their sleeping bags. He found his hands were shaking a little. This was going to be bad, he knew that, and yet...as he watched Daniel trembling with the effort of protecting him, Jack knew there really was no other choice.
When all was prepared, Daniel moved unsteadily to his sleeping bag and collapsed with his back against the stone outcropping. He leaned his head on his raised knees, rubbing his neck with both hands to ease the pain.
Jack looked around a moment, making sure he hadn't forgotten anything, then sat down beside the younger man.
"Ready?"
Daniel made a sound that wasn't...quite...a laugh. "No..."
Chuckling noiselessly at the plaintive tone, Jack reached out to knead Daniel's tight shoulders, hoping his friend could relax enough to let go...
Pain...darkness...falling...falling forever....was dead...try to remember...breathe...how?
Jack felt a jolt at that. His own experience with resurrection had been almost gentle, thanks to the Nox. Evidently a sarcophagus provided no such comfort.
Jack felt less overwhelmed by Daniel's rapid-fire thoughts this time....at least so far. This was not like the steady give and take they had gone through before. This was purely Daniel, full to overflowing and unable to stem the tide...
God...somebody make this go away...what have I done...she...made me...could have fought harder....don't...can't...Sha'uri....never forgive me...never forgive myself...sick....this won't ever go away....
Jack felt a shudder of revulsion and self-loathing echoing from Daniel to himself. Along with Daniel's thoughts Jack was receiving brief visions of memory, like a strobe effect, each carrying its own attendant emotion; pain, anger, hate, self-hate, grief, despair...
My fault...my fault...my fault....should have been able to stop it....
Jack wasn't really surprised by Daniel's tendency to take on every burden as a personal responsibility, but he hadn't really fathomed how ingrained that 'universal conscience' thing was...
Don't believe me...just 'flaky Daniel' off on another tear...got to make them see....was real...we'll all die...Skaara...little brother...my fault...Jack had to choose...
Jack was aware that tears were flowing down both their faces and decided he didn't care. Daniel had fallen against Jack and the older man wrapped arms around the vulnerable young man in a gesture of fierce protection. Something about his young friend tended to bring out paternal instincts in Jack that he had thought long since buried...along with Charlie.
Goodbye...my good friend....let them make it...less than ten minutes....a chance?...jjust want to sleep...no...got to try....for Sha'uri...for Jack....make that look go away...that look...like before....
Jack remembered all too well the 'look' that had stared blankly back at him in the mirror every day for months after Charlie died. Something akin to that look must have shown up again as he tore himself away from Daniel on Apophis' ship, leaving his best friend in the world alone to die...
Me?...not me...old...so terribly old...so tired...can't sleep...may not wake up....Sam...she won't let me give in...no....he's taking away my only hope...no...
Jack heard the cry echo through his head. He fought to keep a hold on his own emotions. He knew the memories were pressing inexorably onward and he knew what was coming...
Gone...no...alone again...all of them gone...you promised, Jack....no, not gone...she lied...used again...no!...never again...help me, Jack....tired...so very tired....
Jac wasn't sure if that last was a thought of the present or a memory of the past, but he could feel the waves of exhaustion, mental and physical, flowing from Daniel. Two years worth of pain and constant struggle threatened to pull Daniel under...
Jack began to wonder if his friend would survive.