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They had gathered up their belongings and hiked back to the waterfall, intending to bathe in the pool that had collected at its base. Once there, Master Yaniko had instructed him to go ahead and wash the mud from himself and his clothes while she sorted through their packs to see what was still salvageable.
It was one of the few instructions she’d given him that he didn’t mind obeying instantly. He wished he’d had time to linger at the edge of the pool, but he knew she was just as filthy as he had been, so once he was dry enough to wriggle into his clean tunic and leggings, he hurried back to the new campsite so she could have her turn.
“I’ll summon you when I’m done,” she told him as she headed off towards the waterfall, and he felt a tight ball of anxiety form in his stomach.
Not only was that an indication they were going to have A Serious Talk, but he also had to keep his mind somewhat open to her in order for him to hear her mental call—and that always worried him.
But when she called him and when he arrived at the pool once more, he was surprised to see her sitting calmly on the grass in an attitude of meditation; her eyes were distant and unfocused, but obviously she sensed his presence nonetheless because her gaze sharpened somewhat, and she gestured for him to sit down. Puzzled, he settled on the ground a safe distance away from her, watching and waiting for her to initiate the conversation, but she merely drifted away again.
He frowned, thrown off balance by this turn of events. He’d expected sharp words and recriminations, or at the very least a scolding for his rudeness. Was she so angry that she had to meditate to calm herself so she wouldn’t lash out at him too much?
//Relax.// Her mental voice carried a hint of amusement. //You wanted to be here, so be here.//
He blinked, startled, then nodded, shifting so that he was in his own preferred position for meditation. Focusing on his breathing, he let go of his worry, let go of his questions and immersed himself in the peace of Now. Around him, he could hear the soothing roar of the water as it spilled down the mountainside and into the pool below, could hear birds twittering at each other…The scent of wildflowers was strong but pleasant, and he breathed it in deeply, accepting it as part of this place, this moment.
//Good, my Padawan, but you can go deeper.//
//How?// The mental question escaped him before he quite realized what he was doing, and he barely restrained himself from flinching. He’d never opened his mind up to her any more than he absolutely had to.
//I can teach you,// she replied calmly. //But it will take trust.//
Qui-Gon hesitated, knowing they’d somehow stumbled upon a turning point in their relationship. Depending on how he responded now, they might be able to forge a bond as he’d always dreamed of having, or they could break even farther apart. The question was, did he dare open up and trust her now after all the problems they had had? Why should he put all that aside just because they’d flung a few mudballs at each other?
He thought back to her reaction to his angry words; now that he was able to be objective, he realized that it was a puzzling reaction in many ways. Instead of being furious, she’d burst out laughing. And the look on her face…Had that been relief? Could it be that she hadn’t enjoyed all the hiking and other physical activity anymore than he had? She certainly seemed at peace here…
His mind wandered back to the day she had chosen him, and he remembered how proud he had been; that first day had been idyllic. Everything he sensed about her told him that they would be a good match as Master and Padawan. Later, he doubted his own perceptions, but now he had to wonder if perhaps his first impressions were the right ones after all.
But even if he were wrong and she really was the hearty, “let’s run ten miles for fun” type that she’d appeared to be all these weeks, part of him didn’t care. He wanted peace between them; he didn’t want to spend his apprenticeship at odds with his own Master, and he certainly didn’t want to be released.
Taking in a deep breath and bracing himself, he took a leap of faith—and lowered his mental shields, reaching out to connect with her.
Almost immediately, he felt a warm, comforting presence brushing against his mind, not intruding, still waiting for acceptance which he gave.
//This is my Master…// he thought, a sense of wonder growing as he felt the serenity she exuded.
Her mind was tranquil, her thoughts flowing like the water down the mountain, and she was allowing him to see much, including her own affection for him, a bond she had felt with him the day they met but which had been weakened since then by the distance they’d both cultivated from each other.
//I was wrong, little one,// she said softly. //I assumed things about you and what you needed in your training based on what I knew from my other apprentices. But you are different.//
//I don’t like being quite so…active,// he ventured shyly, hoping he wasn’t being too presumptuous, but her mental laughter assured him he wasn’t.
//Nor do I.// Her voice sparkled with mirth. //It was a nightmare—and I’m glad we’ve awakened from it. From now on, you will have time to read and meditate as you wish.// She paused, then added, //And so will I.//
A quiet joy bloomed within his chest, spreading warm tendrils outward, adding a deeper level of pleasure to his meditation. He hadn’t been wrong after all…
//Now for your lesson, Qui-Gon.// With that, the almost maternal affection lacing her voice changed to a briskness that let him know whatever followed was serious business.