DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Tap… Tap… Tap… Master Yoda’s cane clicked on the pavement as he made his way down the street from the temple. Very rarely did he leave it, but tonight the Force told him to do so. Mysterious are the ways of the Force, he thought walking down the street.
The people gave him a wide berth, not used to seeing the revered Jedi Master out and among them. He smiled to them, casting glances at the women who smiled back. //If three hundred years younger I were, a Forceful time I would show you.// One ‘lady’ giggled and grinned at him, wondering if it would be worth it to tempt the Old Jedi. After all, those mind trick had to make things interesting.
Turning a noisy corner he was almost trampled by three young Knights, just recently promoted. He recognized them on sight as Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jinn and Rees Toth. Calling to them in his sternest voice, he said, "Going you are?"
At that they quickly came to a halt, standing ramrod straight. They turned in unison and bowed low. "Good evening Master Yoda," they intoned quietly.
"A fire there is?" he asked.
Jinn stepped forward a bit, doused in alcohol. "No master, we were just… late for the night meditations in the temple."
Yoda’s ear lowered a bit, which never boded well. "Too late you are already. Another excuse have you?" Jinn lowered his head and backed up.
Windu, his tunic stained and torn, stammered, "The restaurant where we were dining was… evacuated for a… coolant leak. We were running to get help."
The ear dropped a bit more. "The only ones running you are. Perhaps the only ones effected by the leak you are?" He turned to Toth. "An excuse have you?"
Toth’s eyes widened as he turned to his companions. They nodded to him with understood urgency. Toth cleared his throat, licked his swollen and bloodied lip and said softly, "Master, th-there was a fight…" His companions groaned and shot evil looks at him He turned and protested, "Like I’m supposed to lie to Master Yoda!!!"
"Rees…" Jinn started.
"You have the guts of a wamprat!" Windu stated low.
Yoda tapped his cane on the sidewalk, gaining their attention again. "The whole story I would like," he said, his tone brooking no argument.
Windu started, "It was like this…"
Mace, Qui-Gon and Rees needed to relax a bit. They hadn’t really celebrated their knighting and were looking forward to a night on the town. Mace decided they’d go to Diadem, a trendy little nightclub where they could relax, eat, and talk to beautiful women. He told them all to wear their best uniforms; chicks dig the uniforms. Strutting into the club, he found them a quiet table and called the waitress.
She came over quickly, wondering how she got so lucky to have 3 gorgeous Jedi Knights in her station.
"Hi I’m Kimmie, and I’ll be serving you tonight." She emphasized ‘serving’ by leaning over to give them a lovely view down her blouse. Rubbing up against Mace, she whispered, "If you need me for… anything, just call me."
Mace smiled appreciatively. "Three Correllian ales for now, Kimmie." He caught her hand and kissed it lightly. "The anything will have to wait for later." She smiled and hurried off to get their drinks.
Rees in awe asked, "How do you do that?"
Mace smiled, leaning back. "It’s a gift."
Qui-Gon surveyed the room. "Good crowd tonight. Do you think…" he started.
"Stop worrying Qui-Gon," he stopped him. "It’s our night out on the town. We’re all leaving tomorrow for our first assignments, live a little."
"I have a bad feeling about this," Qui-Gon said ominously.
Kimmie came back with the drinks, setting them down gracefully. "These are on the house, compliments from the redhead and the blond at the bar." The trio turned and saw two lovely women smiling and blowing kisses to them. Mace raised his glass to them in silent salute. The women took this as encouragement and started walking to their table, hips swaying to the music on the dance floor.
"Mind if we join you?" the redhead whispered, snuggling up to Mace.
"Not at all," he said softly, draping his arm over her shoulders. The blond sat between Rees and Qui-Gon, placing a hand in each of their laps. "You don’t mind, my hands are a bit cold." Rees swallowed hard and awkwardly shook his head. Qui-Gon smiled noncommittally, slowly edging closer to her.
"I heard you Jedi train extensively, especially with…" The red head leaned close to Mace’s ear, "your swords."
Qui-Gon cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice from breaking. No luck. "Yes," he squeaked. He coughed and tried again.
"I mean yes, we spend years…" the blond was stroking his leg…
"Ehm… perfecting various…" she was moving up his thigh…
"Sword techniques," he croaked as her fingers crept between his legs.
Rees’ eyelids lowered as the blond mirrored her actions on him. "That’s right," he stammered, "Qui-Gon is one of the finest swordsmen of our order."
The redhead giggled, then asked Mace, "What about you. Is he better than you?"
Mace chuckled. "I can’t really attest to Qui-Gon’s… talent, but I know how to handle my saber very well." The redhead giggled again and smiled knowingly.
Just then a large man came up to the table and grabbed Mace, tearing his tunic in the process. "Who do you Jedi think you are, hitting on my girlfriend!"
"The ladies joined us," Mace said casually, "not that I blame them."
The man was now furious. Qui-Gon attempted to diffuse the situation.
"Now sir I’m sure we can discuss this…"
His dissertation was halted as the man threw his drink at Qui-Gon. "You Jedi think you can just come in here and take the place over," he spat. "You know what I think of that?"
Rees stood up then. "Sir if you would just…" his words were abruptly halted as the man’s fist made contact with his jaw. Rees snapped. "You slimy, filth ridden…" he leapt over the table.
Mace stopped Rees with a glance. "Cool it Rees!" He then turned to the man. "You don’t want to hit anyone," he said smoothly, using the traditional mind trick.
"I don’t want to hit anyone," the man repeated vacantly.
"You just want to go to the bar," Mace continued.
"I just want to go to the bar." He turned and started for the bar. Mace winked at the redhead, who smiled seductively.
Mace turned to his companions, who looked at him in awe and just a bit of envy. "Gentlemen, let’s get back to the temple. Qui-Gon, you need to change, and Rees needs to put ice on that lip." With that, he kissed the redhead, then the blonde who quickly deserted Rees and Qui-Gon and then beckoning his friends, sauntered out of the bar.
"And that’s what happened," Mace finished. Qui-Gon glared at his friend, while Rees’ mouth fell open in disbelief. Mace straightened his stance a bit and smiled.
"The truth you are telling?" Yoda asked. "Knock me over you attempted. Was the injury to Jedi Toth so serious?"
"Well, um.." Mace stammered. "There was this…"
"Silence." Yoda was not amused. He turned to Qui-Gon. "Is what he says true Qui-Gon?"
Qui-Gon glanced at Mace and shook his head. "Not exactly…"