DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).
Obi-Wan is sitting at a desk and studying a paper when Qui-Gon comes in, attired in a kilt with matching shirt.
QUI-GON: How are your studies going, padawan?
OBI-WAN: Oh they're going... aaaawaaaaa!
He starts away when he glances at his master.
OBI-WAN: Master... are you wearing a SKIRT?
QUI-GON: Kilt.
OBI-WAN: Kilt who?
QUI-GON: What?
OBI-WAN: Who kilt who? Who's dead?
Qui-Gon grimaces and points down at his legs.
QUI-GON: THIS is a kilt, padawan!
Obi-Wan eyes it.
OBI-WAN: But it looks like a skirt.
QUI-GON: If you can possibly utter a sentence without the word "skirt" in it, I will be happy to explain. There was an accident in the laundry room, and until I can have new pants made, I have to wear a kilt. Do you understand?
OBI-WAN: I understand that you're going to get teased a lot for the next few days.
Qui-Gon grits his teeth and changes the subject.
QUI-GON: We're expected at Master Yoda's speech in fifteen minutes. You can finish your paper then.
OBI-WAN: Yes, master.
The two exit and go to a nearby room full of Jedi Knights, with a podium. Yoda is by the doorway, holding a datapad.
YODA: Ah, Qui-Gon, good it is that you... aawaaahhh!
Yoda jumps back as he sees Qui-Gon's kilt and bare legs.
YODA: Wearing a skirt you are?
OBI-WAN: (smirking) I told you, Master.
Qui-Gon rolls his eyes and starts mingling with the other Jedi. Adi Gallia sees him and her eyes widen. she nudges Yaddle and Depa Billaba and the three watch Qui-Gon.
ADI GALLIA: Wow...
DEPA BILLABA: (awed) What is that he's wearing?
They come toward Qui-Gon, glancing briefly down at his legs.
YADDLE: Wearing a skirt you are?
QUI-GON: (irritably) It's a KILT.
ADI GALLIA: A KILT? Oh, I love those, but no one in the Temple would wear them. They're so flattering to the right man.
Qui-Gon's eyebrows rise a little, and he shoots a triumphant glance back at Obi-Wan and Yoda, who watch enviously as the three women lead him away, firmly holding his arms.
OBI-WAN: "He who laughs last..."
YODA: (depressed) Want a kilt I do.
OBI-WAN: Me too... think the tailors could try to whip a few up for us?
YODA: (brightening) Do or do not, there is no try. Kilts we will have!
The two walk out the door in search of kilts.