DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Images of blue eyes, intense in the dankness of a cave, danced in Larina’s mind as she struggled toward consciousness. Before she opened her own eyes, she realized that she was lying in a soft bed. Her normally braided hair was loose and tickled her cheek. She could feel the pull of the newly healed skin on her thigh as she stretched the limb. It was not really pain, but it was uncomfortable.
She opened her eyes slowly to see a plain white wall. It was without blemish. She frowned until she tried her Force abilities and found that they again worked. She reached out with her mind to find that she was on a ship once again, and the ship was more than likely in hyperspace. A small smile crossed her face, until her feelings alerted her to the existence of two things. One was the loss of the pain of the bond that had been a constant for the last day, and the other was the presence of other people in the room.
Larina rolled over to sweep her sleepy eyes over the room. There was a small table nearby where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon sat, making various entries on datapads. As she squinted to see them clearer, Qui-Gon raised his head and made eye contact with her. A low series of orders was issued from the elder Jedi as he rose to approach the bed. Larina rubbed her cheek on the pillow as the Jedi perched on the edge of the bed.
“How do you feel, Larina?” Qui-Gon’s voice sounded strangely deep in the room. Larina could see Obi-Wan peering over his shoulder with a sad smile on his face.
“Decent, I suppose, Master Qui-Gon…how long have I been out?” Larina turned her full attention back to the Master Jedi who was tucking one of the covers under her hip.
“A day. We are back aboard the ship and approximately two hours from Coruscant,” his voice was low and scratchy. “Ha’run said that we should allow you to sleep as much as possible. And I have formed the healing bond with you again.”
Larina closed her eyes for a moment and searched her psyche, feeling and then locating the bond that he had formed with her. She strengthened the healing bond on her side and then relaxed back into her mind once more. “Yes,” she answered, opening her eyes slowly again. “What happened?”
Qui-Gon lowered his head for a moment and then raised it with a quick look to his apprentice. Obi-Wan frowned for a moment and then rose and left the room. After the door closed, the Master turned back to meet Larina’s onyx eyes. “What do you remember?”
“Running for the panel with Obi-Wan’s lightsaber. Pain. Uglara grabbing me. Then you lifting me and running. Blaster shots, getting carried in one of your arms and…” the woman stopped and closed her mouth and turned her eyes from the man.
Qui-Gon sighed and lowered his head, hanging his hands on his thighs. Larina swallowed as she centered in on the elusive image that presented itself to her mind. The feeling of Qui-Gon’s rough beard brushing her chin as his lips closed on hers. The blue of his eyes being obscured as his lids slipped shut. She had felt a wave of comfort crash over her like a warm blanket. The tide of emotion changed as his arm had tightened and his tongue had brushed against her lips. The emotion had become something spicier, stronger...more deeply rooted in need then comfort. The tangy smell of his sweat she could still recall, and the way that her toes curled when his tongue pressed deeply. She had accepted him willingly and without thought. She had opened her mouth to receive his warm gift, only to black out. But she did remember, as she opened her eyes once again, the feeling of completeness of her soul in that minute.
“You kissed me,” she whispered, turning her eyes back to his.
“Yes,” he choked out, still keeping his head slightly inclined. “Yes, I did, Larina.” He lifted his head to look at her.
Her hand was gentle as it landed on his cheek. She did not say anything but simply looked at him, searching his eyes. Qui-Gon pressed his lips together and met her searching gaze with a calm one of his own. Larina smiled as the blue in the man’s eyes swirled and flared for a moment. But the mask of Jedi calm clamped down just as fast as the flare had occurred.
Qui-Gon sighed as he leaned forward and brushed his hand over her head. Larina sighed at the feeling of caring that washed over her from his motion. “Go back to sleep, Larina…I will awaken you when we are nearing Coruscant.”
Larina sighed and settled, letting her muscles relax. Qui-Gon sat there for a moment and moved toward the door, picking up his cloak and datapads as he moved to the door. When the metal door slid back, Qui-Gon turned to look at the young healer who was bundled in the covers. With a shake of his head and a sigh, the Jedi Master exited the room and stalked down the hall.
Larina sighed and reopened her eyes as she felt him press down the hall. The melancholy the Master had was pronounced and very strong. It was the only emotion that she could pick up from him. She could sense the anger that had been in him – it left behind a trail like a burn in wood. He had been angry at her, angry at the situation, and furious with the guards who had been holding the women. His arms had been like steel - his fear for and need to protect her had shone like a brilliant beacon. That feeling, too, left a residue in his psyche. But it was the sadness that covered it all now. And he had closed off the rest of his mind, with considerable effort. The young healer sighed as she closed her eyes. She was the source of that sadness, she knew. And the Master was hiding something. But she was too worn to find it out.
A smile crossed her mouth as she thought of the hard arms and hard chest that had collided with her body. The way that her legs had twined with his as he moved to engage the guard. The horrific pain that had permeated her body the minute that the emotional tide had changed from the women had eased with the more time she had spent crushed against him. The pain of the bond had completely disappeared with the touch of his lips, only to be replaced by the rushing of her heart. And the roughness of his tongue had awakened need instead of desperation. Her attraction was alive and well for the Jedi Master, and she laid her hand against her lips for a moment.
Curling her toes in the sheets, she sighed and tried to sleep.
Qui-Gon walked down the corridor with his back straight and his eyes centered ahead. His jaw ached from clenching it in control. Even after a day, his feeling of needing to protect her had not diminished. The ache he had had in the cavern had not lessened until he had formed the healing bond with her again. He did not want to think about the implications of that occurrence. He turned the corner to spy the main room up ahead. The Jedi Master could see his friend and Obi-Wan bent over a datapad, entering information.
He hesitated only a moment before moving on past the door and further into the ship.
Larina had been his only concern, his only thought from the moment that he had seen her lying prone on Uglara’s lap. The blood that seeped from her leg had left him feeling cold and empty. The sight of her shift dirtied and pulled, ripped in areas, had made him angry, and yet…aroused. The sight of her long legs, creamy skin… He sighed. Attraction to the young healer was not a problem, he thought, as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. She had been an intelligent, eager to please, quick to learn Jedi student who had grown before his eyes into a lovely young woman. No, he had noticed the change years before and had appreciated it. It was keeping that hidden from her that had been the problem.
He cared for her more than he should. The situation in the cave had brought it out to him, and yet had made it impossible for him to give it up to the Force. He cared with an emotion that he had long since banished from his psyche and he cared in spite of his promise he had made to himself.
And, in caring so, had formed a bond with her in that cave.
He only hoped that the council would be able to break this bond, before the need that he felt in the pit of his stomach pushed for completion.
He was pulled from his reverie by the presence of a warm and friendly hand on his shoulder. He sighed as he realized that his senses had been down so as to allow someone near without his knowing it. “Mace.”
“Qui-Gon…your Padawan is awaiting your presence.” Mace said as he saw the look of apology on Qui-Gon’s face.
“I know. I…” Qui-Gon looked to his friend with a sigh.
“This is not good news, old friend,” Mace frowned. “A double sided bond is nearly impossible to break.”
The look of surprise on Qui-Gon’s face was enough to bring a smile to Mace’s. “What, Qui-Gon, you don’t think I have seen what another man is like when he is taken in by a woman? You have had that look on your face for the last two days around Larina and I suspect that is because you have only just realized it yourself. You bonded with her in the cave.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Mace,” Qui-Gon brushed off his surprise with a shrug.
“You are closing yourself off again, Qui-Gon, from everyone. Including yourself and your own emotions. Open up…especially…” Mace moved forward to hold his friend in his personal space.
Qui-Gon shrugged again, dislodging his friend’s hand. He moved back toward the common area with a measured pace, only to be intercepted quickly but Mace.
“Regardless of what you want your feelings to be, Qui-Gon, if this bond did indeed form on your behalf, it is clear that they are something else entirely. Be honest with yourself, be honest with her and with me.”
Qui-Gon turned to look at Mace and spied his Padawan bent over datapads in the room beyond. “I let emotions get in the way before, Mace, and all it left me was pain and suffering. First Kira, then Xanatos…”
“They are the past - you can’t change what happened. Obi-Wan is the future. Larina is the present. Neither one of those is set in stone…” Mace fell back against the wall with a thud. “Emotion might lead to pain, but denial of them does not lead to serenity. For Force’s sake…”
Qui-Gon looked to his friend with a sigh. Mace was taken back by the level of pain in the other Jedi Master’s eyes. “And tell you that I care for Larina? I do. You know that. You have pointed it out to me before. To tell you that I long to touch her, that I admire her beauty… you know that too. I have always been, and will always be someone that looks out for her, Mace. I desire her. I care for her. I want to protect her… that does not love make. As for Obi-Wan… I am proud of him. I delight in seeing him grow every day in the Force and in his abilities and maturity. Someday he will be a great knight. Those are the truths.”
“You have not told your Padawan any of that save that he will be a great knight, Qui-Gon. The only thing he receives from you is rebuke and aloofness in his training. Force bless the boy, he still continues to strive for your attention and your approval. And as for Larina…Qui-Gon, as we have said before, what is attraction, affection and protection, if not the foundation of a relationship?”
Qui-Gon hardened his eyes, squinting at Mace. “I will not have another relationship, Mace. When Kira died…I will not go through that again.” His sigh was loud and explosive. “We must draft a report to the Council about the situation on Ordilara, Mace. This conversation is at an end.”
Qui-Gon turned and stalked into the room beyond, his boots clicking on the grating. Mace placed his hands on his hips and whispered the mantra of calm as he listened to Qui-Gon talking lowly with his apprentice. He only wished his friend would realize his own emotions before they would indeed cause a problem.