DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc, 20th Century Fox, Timothy Zahn, Barbara Hambly, YKW and the other writers of the expanded Star Wars Universe. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
They managed to rent a small shuttle, although the resort was very hesitant because of all the legal trouble they had had keeping the environmentalists happy. If it had been any other guests than the Jedi Knight Skywalkers, relatives of Chief-of-State Leia Organa-Solo (also a Jedi Knight, although unoffically), perhaps they would not have been rented the extremely nice four- person shuttle that Han eyed appreciatively as he watched his best friend, his best friend's wife, and his best friend's former lover pack up into it and prepare to leave on some crusade he wasn't sure he understood. No one had given him the whole story. He wasn't even sure Leia knew the entire details, although she was not attempting to get any, which was unlike her.
"Callista came here for Mara's help," Leia explained to him when everyone was out of earshot.
"Why would Mara help Callista? I can't say I'd be inclined to help a former lover of yours out, I don't care how Jedi-minded and noble it would be."
And that was when Leia dropped her bombshell. "It's about Luke's son."
There hadn't been many times in her life when Leia had left her husband speechless. Not even when she had told him she loved him. In fact, the only other time she could really think of was when she told him Luke was her brother. But Han's face was white and his jaw was slightly slack.
"Son?"
"His and Callista's. I don't know the whole story. I don't think I want to. They'll tell me when they're ready." Leia looked over her shoulder as Callista appeared in the doorway to the shuttle. The woman didn't look much different than she had nearly eight years ago, on Nam Chorios. Except there were no smoky colored veils draped about her head--this time it was a bare-basics grey flight suit. The malt-blond hair was yanked back into a tail that did not flatter her much, but served its purpose. Callista's eyes had changed, though. They looked very tired, and very old.
Suddenly Leia felt very guilty. She hadn't exactly been warm to the woman over the last few days. She hadn't been rude, either--more like totally avoidant. She didn't have that right. It wasn't her place to be cold to Callista--she had no reason, really. Except that Mara and Luke were very much married, and Callista was.....well, she was....
Absolutely no threat at all, Leia realized as Mara stepped out after her and gave Callista a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.
"She doesn't bite," Mara said to Callista, casting a look at Leia. "If she did, trust me, I'd be the person to have found out by now."
Leia turned toward Callista, feeling extremely foolish but determined to correct that. "I'm sorry, Callie. I haven't exactly been a good hostess, have I."
Callista smiled. It made her look young again. "I've been a partycrasher. Don't worry, I don't blame you. I know how important your family is to you." Her eyes took on a look that was light years away. "It is to me, too."
"I know." The two women just stared at each other for a moment, and a sudden foreboding washed over Leia.
This was the last time she would see Callista. She was absoultely sure of it. So she reached out and embraced her.
"May the Force be with you," Leia said.
"And you," Callista said, her voice a whisper over the pain of the words.
Mara used as many techniques as she could think of to keep herself comfortable on the shuttle. It wasn't exactly designed for pregnant women, she had realized rather quickly. But if she had the entire backseat to herself, she managed rather well.
Callista had insisted on driving. That left Luke in the passenger seat to give moral support (as well as disapproving looks) to his wife.
"If it's bad, we can turn back," he said.
She shook her head. "It'll pass. Sith, if I'd known that being pregnant was like swallowing a giant grainfruit and then trying to pass it I would have quelled my sexual urges a lot more forcefully. No pun intended."
Luke smiled gently. "They say the pain of childbirth is quickly forgotten."
"Yeah, so women get pregnant again. If they remembered how much it hurt to give birth they'd never have sex again."
At that, Luke's gentle smile narrowed into a knowing smirk. Mara sighed. "Okay, it's passed." She turned in her seat. "How much farther, Cal?"
"Actually, at the time we're making, we'll probably be there within the next hour."
From the corner of her mind, she could hear Luke turning a word over and over in his head. *Cal?*
"Good. I'm going to doze a bit. Wake me a little before we get there."
Okay, so Luke was freaking out a bit over her use of a name that hadn't exactly come up in pleasant conversation. With a pang of guilt, she remembered the look on his face when he had backed off of her. *Don't worry about it, Love,* she said, giving him a sleepy look. *Cal, Callie, Callista...sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.*
*What?*
*Nothing. Another time.* She squeezed his hand. *Just don't talk too loud, okay?* And she was asleep.
Leaving Luke and Callista alone. Again. However, Callista didn't seem to care much. She was very lost in her own thoughts, a scowl touching her face as her brain whirled away. For a few minutes, Luke didn't say anything. In those few minutes, he decided he wasn't going to, period. Obviously, Callista had moved beyond dealing with him and his losses and gains. After all, this child was all she had. There was no family on Chad waiting for her, no relatives or close friends. He had been everything. She had sacrificed all of her past for a future that had wound up holding nothing.
Nothing except a child that had been stolen from her. Four years ago, Luke would have destroyed himself with guilt over that. But Mara had taught him so much. You learn, you move on. And he was not responsible for the choices those around him made. Even Mara, on this trip against better judgement, even hers, was making her own free choice to be here and help Callista. Perhaps she was only helping Callista because of Luke, but that was still her choice.
It had been Callista's choice to leave him, and her choice to return after it was too late. It was just a shame that he now felt like a complete stranger to her.
"No, you don't."
Luke jumped and glanced at her. She was looking at him out of the corner of her eye, and she shrugged. "I don't have to be Force sensitive to know what you're thinking, Luke. Body language says enough. Anyone ever tell you that you have a tendency to wear your feelings on your face if you get too comfortable?"
"I wish I was. Maybe then we'd have more to say to each other."
"What is there to say? Do you want to relive those days?" She shook her head in distaste. "I really don't. Neither of us were happy."
"You still aren't. You're still carrying around regrets."
"We all carry around regrets. Sometimes, I wonder if my whole life has been one big regret." She sighed. "I'm sorry, I don't want to be bitter."
He chuckled. "Bitter doesn't bother me."
"Oh, that's right. You're turned on by women who hate you." The look she gave him was sharp. "I don't hate you, Luke. I never did, I never will."
Luke didn't know whether to be insulted or reassured by her words. He felt kind of both. "I get the feeling there's something you really want to say to me that you're afraid to say."
"And here I thought I wasn't Force sensitive." She took a deep breath. "I would be lying if I didn't admit that I still have feelings for you, Luke. I know everything I've said over the last few days about the way things turned out for us being right and all, but it would be wrong for me to say I liked it. I don't like it. And it wasn't easy for me to come here and ask your new wife for help, considering I would have liked nothing better than to have....well, I can leave that much unsaid." She blinked at a few tears. "I regret the moment Cray stepped aside for me. I wouldn't have been tempted to take it. You could have cherished a memory that would have been pefect. I would have had a place in your heart that would never be touched."
"But you do."
"It's not the same. Coming back spoils the memory. You remember all the bad things, all the reasons 'why not.' None of the good looks as good after it's over." She sniffed. "I just feel like a walking emotional timebomb and I'm terrified I'm going to go off."
"I'm sorry, Callista."
"And that's just it. You're not, not really. I know I said that before, but I'm saying it again. You and Mara...I was just an interlude. A temporary. A distraction. Sooner or later, it would have gotten ugly. Either she would have come between us, or you would have wound up wondering for the rest of your life 'what if.' With you and me, there is no 'what if.' It had no chance of happening. And what hurts the most is that you're okay with that."
Luke had no idea what to say. What did she expect of him? And then, she finished, and Luke knew she didn't expect anything from him. She just wanted him to know. "I just wanted to be the one that got away, you know?" She gave him a sad smile. "I wanted to be the perfect memory. There are women you put on pedestals and women you hold in your arms, and she's both. I don't know how, but she is. And I don't have a chance at either. I just wish...I had."
They didn't speak again until they neared their destination.
When Mara awoke, she knew that something had transpired between her two traveling companions. They didn't look at each other, and she could hear words rolling around Luke's head. Words that didn't make sense--words like "pedestal" and "regret." Okay, with Callista, regret made sense. But for some reason, the emotions rolling off him were not what she had sensed before. It was almost as if he were feeling guilty that he wasn't more upset over Callista. Callista...what? a little voice inside her asked. Mara didn't know. And it didn't really matter, anyway. After all, Callista was the mother of Luke's son. No matter what happened from here on in, Callista would be come a permanent part of Luke's life, forever. Mara had to accept it. Maybe not like it, but accept it. And this Callista wasn't so bad. The years had toughened her up a bit, brought back the warrior she was sure Callista had been, almost seventy years ago. After all the girl had enough guts to shut down the Eye of Palpatine. From what Mara knew about that, it hadn't been an easy job. Being in the body again after all those years as a ghost had to really mess her up a bit.
Of course, she realized she was making excuses for Callista. Excuse after excuse...for reasons she would only let herself admit to in a prepheral way. Maybe she was doing it for Luke's sake. Or her own. She knew she had to figure out a way to deal with it soon because it was going to get in the way otherwise. Either she had to forget about it and just let it go--which wasn't such an impossible thought--or she would confront her. Quite frankly, she didn't have the right to confront her.
As the shuttle landed, Mara made her decision. She was going to let it go--unless Callista, for some unthinkable reason, decided to open her mouth and say something really dumb. Then Mara would pounce. Until then, it was "stick to the misson" girl for her.
When Mara took a deep breath of air as the shuttle touched the ground, she felt it all leave her. Worrying about it was futile. It didn't do any blasted good anyway.
They landed in a rocky clearing. The ship settled easy enough--it was small and light, which meant it would, regardless of how well the area was shaped for heavy traffic. When the three travellers stepped out of the shuttle and glanced around them, they remembered why illegal groups were so well hidden--they picked the least appealing and least accessible places possible to hide in.
Mara gave a snort of approval. "They were rather smart for such a small group. Although it's pretty clear why they didn't last long from here. Those mines still probably have sugar residue in them. It may have gotten thick in the air and well...you know how well a human brain functions on heavy drugs."
"Like frying an egg on a rock," Callista said as she neared the cave entrance. "How about us...how well will we fare?"
Luke was watching Mara intensely as she answered. "Don't know. We're not going to be living in the stuff. We can take a sample before we go in--it's probably best."
"Good idea. I'll do it." Luke pulled a small probe out of a pack sitting by his seat in the shuttle. It was times like this that he missed Artoo. It was also times like this that he wished Mara would be less of a Jedi Knight and all-around free spirit and just be an obedient wife.
*I heard that,* she shot at him with a smirk.
Luke got close to the mouth of the cave. He didn't like it one bit. The bad feeling from earlier was nearly a scream, and he couldn't take it for more than a few moments. He practically stumbled over his feet as he scrambled back to Mara and Callista.
"What is it?" Mara asked, slightly shaken by Luke's emotions.
"Readings are minimal. There's no real threat from the sugar if we don't stay long." He let out a loud sigh. "If it were up to me, you two would both be back at the resort faster than Han could make the Kessel run."
Callista was slightly pale. "Luke, we're just going to go check some data. I'll go in and you and Mara can wait out here. This whole thing is my doing anyway."
"No, I'll go in." Luke shot a heavy look at Mara. "What, nothing to say?"
"I think you've said it all, Luke." Maybe she was starting agree with him. Luke hadn't felt anything like this since the cave at Degobah. He was so lost in the creepy feeling that he was actually startled when Mara handed him her datapad. "Bring whatever you can carry to me. I'll take a look at it out here, okay?" She touched his forehead to find his sweat. "Or you can let Callista do it," she added so only he would hear.
"No, I'll go." He took the datapad and then his eyes met Mara's. They shone like precious stones, and he felt a sudden strength. On its heels was a strange foreboding, and for one moment he was ready to renounce the whole mission and take both her and Callista back, as far away from this place as he could.
Then Mara kissed him lightly, *See you soon, husband,* she sent to him. They weren't words, but feelings.
Luke nodded and briefly touched Mara's belly before he turned and walked into the cave.
Callista came up to Mara in Luke's wake. "What is it?" she asked, perplexed by their actions and vexed that she couldn't feel their feelings.
"I'd like to think it's just a husband and wife thing," Mara muttered, distracted. "But somehow, with him, I doubt it."
Luke walked into the cave and immediately expected Vader to come charging out at him with his red lightsaber. But this wasn't Degobah. Hothfrost, this place was just an old hideout for some smugglers--if this place was a darkside pit, he would have sensed it long before now. This fear was irrational, like it wasn't even his but the feelings of someone else being transferred onto him.
The fact that Mara had been freaking out, on and off, over the last few weeks didn't help, either. He wanted to dismiss all of this as her fears and forebodings backing up onto him. She had seemed so extremely calm as she watched him go into the mine entrance. Maybe somehow he'd wound up taking both of their angst with him.
Yes, that was probably it.
The main room of the cave wasn't exactly all the way in the mines. It sat out a bit, in front of a big intersection of caves. Three gaping mouths stood open before him, but the old computer consoles--what was left of them--sat against the far walls. The holoplatforms were rusted through, the controls coated with all kinds of webs, and every piece of furniture--if it could even be called that--was covered with insect dung.
Luke sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. He shut his eyes and reached out with the Force, scanning over everything lightly. The only life around here was small and harmless. He could rummage without fear of being bitten by something lethal.
As he scanned, his sensed caught something. It was far off, in the third cave. He looked and saw a pale yellow light flicker. Maybe some sort of trick switch, or a safeguard that was still working. Something to light the way after the smugglers returned from a long hard day of slave trading.
Luke snorted. He was starting to sound like Mara.
The light got brighter, and for a moment, Luke was blinded. He blinked several times and found long yellow shapes before his eyes. But they all paled when he looked down the throat of the cave again.
It was a lightsaber. A little boy was holding it--he couldn't have been more than ten. Luke could only make out his shape-- small, nearly elfin-like. The face was smothered in shadows, and the lightsaber lit everything but him.
"Down here!" the boy called. Then he turned and vanished, the yellow light vibrating and humming behind him.
Luke didn't know what came over him. He immediately ran after him. And just as he did, he heard a terrible crack. As he met the half-way mark to the end of the third cave, he turned around in time to hear Mara shouting his name from the main entrance, and watch the old support beam in the main room's roof give away, and the entire world come crashing down right onto the spot where he had stood.
A full minute later, after the last of the crashing sounds had vibrated away, Luke ignited his lightsaber. The green glow lit the way back, and the way ahead.
It didn't seem to give him much choice. As Mara would say, sometimes, Destiny could be as obvious as a kick in the head.
"LUKE!"
The word vibrated off the air even after the loud crash had passed. Mara stood staring at the pile of rubble, disbelieving. Luke was not dead. He wasn't under that pile. He couldn't be. She would know it if he were.
Mara stood only feet away from the entrance to the cave, using every ounce of her self control to keep herself from rushing inside. Maybe nine months ago she could have handled that, but she had to think for two. And as her self control was occupied with the task of keeping her feet from moving, it was taken off her anger, which rushed at her like those rocks had rushed at the floor.
*How could we have been so stupid!* she raged at herself. Every warning sign in the universe had been thrown at them. What did they need, the spirits of all the old Jedi Knights standing in front of them waving red flags? Yet like blind mynocks they'd gone right into this head first! How could they have been such idiots!?!?!
Then she realized why, and her anger flooded out of her. It was for Luke's son. Whoever he was, wherever he was, it was to find him. Nothing would be spared. Mara knew that, felt it as if it were her own child. It was her child, if it was Luke's. Any part of him was a part of her.
So Mara turned back to Callista with a wry look on her face and said, "Well, shall we complete this tragedy by going and digging him out? After all, the worst thing that can happen is that we get trapped in there, too."
Callista was looking at her as if she had a deathwish. "Aren't you supposed to refrain from heavy activity?" she ventured.
Mara shrugged. "I suppose. But I'm also supposed to help keep Luke alive. He sort of depends on me for that, you know." She carefully began picking her way closer to the mouth of the cave. "I'll Force-lift everything, I promise," she called, guesturing for Callista to follow. "Come on!"
Callista followed. "Sure, let's go get buried," she said. It was the only time in her life that she was glad she wasn't Force sensitive. The foreboding of the moment would have been suffocating otherwise.