DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc, 20th Century Fox, Timothy Zahn, Barbara Hambly, YKW and the other writers of the expanded Star Wars Universe. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
The next morning, Mara somehow managed to tear herself from Luke's arms--they'd fallen asleep on the floor of Vaiya's room, and agreed they should move quickly and quietly before the little girl woke up. She needed to see Cal off. Maybe this would put to rest some of her odd feelings about him, as well as her suspicions.
Cal was overseeing restocking of his ship with all the necessary supplies. Mara approached him from behind, not wanting him to see her, but not willing to wait for the right moment. She was only three feet from him when he turned and smiled at her, as if he'd already known.
"Come to see me away?" he asked. "Do I get a kiss goodbye?"
"You get a thank you," Mara returned evenly. "For helping out yesterday. Although I admit I'm not sure why you helped."
"Mara, you wound me. Whatever else that has happened, I still consider you a friend."
Mara just stared at him. "You don't have very good taste in friends, Cal," she said softly.
Cal shrugged and gave a self-depreciating little laugh. "I guess I don't. I tell you, Mara, seeing you like this has shaken me up a bit." Then in a softer voice, he added, "So when are you going to tell him?"
"Tell who what?"
Cal rolled his eyes at her. "Don't play coy. You may do it well but I find it so uncharming."
"If you're referring to Luke, he already knows. There's no one else to tell anything. You and I...aren't anymore. But maybe you can keep an eye open for that missing child for me in your little adventures."
Cal nodded, and Mara could feel him attempting to probe her mind. She had firm barriers, and he got nowhere. "What I was referring to," he said after a few moments, "was this charade you've got going here. When are you just going to kill him and get it over with?"
The suddeness of the question make Mara's brain lock up for a second. That was one of Cal's tricks--to say the outrageous thing he was thinking of to throw her off. But in that second, it all sort of clicked into place.
"I knew they were your men. That was why they didn't hit me. Even with my lightsaber, I would have been a perfect target at that range." She let out a ragged sign, holding back rage. She had to hear his side--she had to give him that.
Cal advanced on her, his eyes not breaking contact with her own. "Come on, Mara. You say you've changed, you say you haven't. Hate like what you had doesn't just melt into love, like some fairy fable. I hoped this was all a set-up."
Mara was horrified, but she kept her cool. She wanted to ask him why he thought that, to hear all the reasons again and put them together in one long list so that she might be able to make sense of it. But she already knew.
"You know," she finally replied, "what the worst of all this is? You aren't wrong. People don't change. But I did change--or rather, something changed me. I love Luke, I've born his daughter, and---"
Cal waved his hand. "Children...sex...whatever, Mara. That isn't proof of love. People couple all the time and make children, whether they're husbands and wives or not. Do you really love Skywalker? Prove it to me and I will never darken your doorstep again."
She narrowed her eyes at him. For the first time, anger got the better of her. "Fine. You want to know whose child it is that I'm chasing after? Yes, the son of a former Jedi Knight, Callista. But that's not the whole story. The boy is Luke's son, too. Now who do you know other than me that would do this sort of thing for a man she wanted to kill?"
Cal seemed to consider her for a moment. "Convincing," he murmured. "But there could be reasons behind that, too. Maybe the same as your reasons for bearing him a child. When the time is right, you plan on worse than just killing him. You want to destroy him utterly." He grinned at her. "That would be more like you, Mara, and you know it."
She shook her head. "I followed orders. I was never cruel."
"Weren't you? I know things about you, Mara. I chased all over for you when you left me. Talon finally convinced me it was in my better health interests to leave you alone while you were his employee. I learned things about you, though. Jobs you'd done, the things you pulled. Perhaps all this holier-than-thou Jedi Knight bantha dung has made your memory short. You're no better than I am. Inside, you know that part is still there, and you don't know whether to fight it or not. Maybe that urge to kill Skywalker is still there. Tell me, does he trust you completely? In spite of all that's happened?"
Mara held perfectly still during Cal's tirade, as if she were afraid to move. When she spoke, only her lips moved. "He trusted me even when he knew I had every intention of killing him. He always knew me as I really was, Cal. The woman you knew a long time ago has gotten rid of those demons. I suggest you do the same. It isn't too late for you."
Cal snorted. "You're even starting to sound like one of them. What should I do, stay here and learn about the light side of the Force? I'll bet your hubby would just love that, wouldn't he?" He paused. "You see, either way it doesn't work."
Mara stared at him, the suspicions from earlier coming back to her. Those men she'd fought in the hallway--they hadn't aimed to well at her. But Skywalker had gotten the full treatment, all blasters aimed right at his face the second he'd appeared. And Cal jumping into battle so quickly--he'd defended them too quickly. It was not like Cal to stick his own neck out. Then he'd come back in the grip of two Nighori, and no other prisoners save himself.
*I'm not so sure why you helped,* she'd said to him. Now she was sure.
"You did it, didn't you?" she whispered.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Mara," he said with a smile, and then bent over to kiss her on the cheek. She was frozen with a mixture of rage and outrage.
"Farewell for now, Mara Jade. You know how to reach me if you want me."
She glared at him as he walked all the way into his ship. "Don't hurry back," she whispered as the ship prepared for takeoff. She turned and left the hangar, not even looking back as the ship rose out of sight.
Luke was sprawled out across the bed, flipping casually through the journal he had started a long time ago. He had been working on it on and off over the last few years, but lately there just hadn't been any time.
Mara came in, and Luke instantly sensed something was wrong. He waited silently and patiently as she came over to him and sat down on the edge of the bed beside him.
"He's gone," she said, her voice flat.
"I know."
"I think he's the one who arranged this attack. He was trying to kill you."
Luke gave her a little grin. "Should I take that personal?"
She turned her head to look at him with humorless eyes. "Are you hearing me? He managed to launch an attack at us within hours of our arrival here. He's always been quick to get things done, but that's plain scary."
Luke ran a hand through her hair. "We're leaving soon. We'll be safe."
She shook her head. "He'll bide his time. That's what he's good at." She let out a ragged sigh, and continued, "I can't believe he's doing all this over me."
"I can."
She flopped back on to the bed, stretching her arms over her head. "Then you're just as nuts as he is."
"Well, I wouldn't go that far. But I know about obsession. People get something stuck in their heads and they can't shake it. You'll have to face him one day, you know, Mara, and resolve this." The anxiety that enimated from Mara at that moment was enough to make Luke wobble. "Not anytime soon," he added.
"Doesn't matter. He's got one up on me anyway."
Luke frowned. "What?"
"He knows about you and Callista, and that I'm looking for your son."
He grew very still. "And?"
"I'm just...afraid."
Luke sat up and pulled Mara up into a sitting position. Their arms locked together, one's hands on the others forearms. "What are you doing?" Mara asked.
"Work with me," he said. "I'm going to see if I can put this anxiety of yours to rest...at least for a while."
"I'm up for that," she said wearily.
Luke shut his eyes. *Follow me, Mara,* he sent through the Force. Mara shut her eyes and reached out for him.
For a moment, she saw it--the Mosaic of her life as she had seen it when she was standing with him on the observation deck, staring out into the stars. Beautiful and grand, almost infinite. As she stared at it, she could see Vaiya, and the boy Luke and Callista had had--*Valery?* she thought, the name a fragment in her mind. But the pictures weren't stable. They moved, the contorted, they ran together and spread out.
*Destiny,* came Luke's voice from beside her, *has been the most important driving force in my life. But the future is always in motion. Destiny is only the beginning of our path, not the end.*
*We choose our destiny,* Mara sent back, understanding him.
*We accept or deny it, or we change it. But in the end, destiny is fulfilled.*
*I don't understand. How can we be free to choose and yet always have it end up in the same place? How can there be a choice when what happens is what is meant to be?*
She could feel Luke grinning. *That is the mystery of the Force.*
*No,* she objected. *It is far beyond the Force.*
She expected him to correct her, but he remained silent for several moments. *For a Jedi,* he finally continued, *peace is the true objective. Peace must be in the heart during any trial. Without peace, the dark side can close in. Mara, you must find your peace.*
Mara searched, and as she did, she could see Luke with her, as if they were physically present in this dimension of mind. She could see Vaiya, her daughter, embrace her and say that everything would be all right. *Just be patient, Mother,* the young woman said.
Mara took in a deep breath and found the air was warm and sweet around her. The gnawing teeth at her stomach stopped and the ache from her shoulders lifted. She let it all go, let it slide into the fabric of the Force, to be crushed against the blinding light as a moth disintegrates in a flame. When she opened her eyes again, Luke was staring at her, his blue crystal orbs shining with the power of the Force around him. He was a Jedi Master, her Jedi Master, teaching her a lesson she needed badly.
"Feel better?" he whispered.
"Yes. How long will this last?"
"As long as you want it to. Mediate on what you saw here whenever you feel it come back. It will return you to this peace."
She nodded. "I will," she said, and then after a second's hesitation, she added the honorific, "Master."
He nodded, and the old Luke returned. "Let's get geared up, then," he said. "We'll leave soon."
"I hope this is the right choice," she said, her voice calm.
"It is," Luke assured her. "We won't stay away forever. Vaiya will return to Yavin IV ready to complete her training. I have a feeling she'll be an early bloomer."
"She'll bloom when she's six at the rate she's going."
Luke shrugged. "If she does, she does. But she's going to get to see the galaxy first. There are many things she should learn first about this universe we live in if she is going to become a Jedi Knight."