DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc, 20th Century Fox, Timothy Zahn, Barbara Hambly, YKW and the other writers of the expanded Star Wars Universe. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Her father practically jumped on her when she exited the hospital room. But all it took from Vaiya was one long, tired look, and Luke backed away.
"In the morning," Vaiya assured him. "In the morning, it will all be decided. I need to rest." She continued out the lounge, but Luke stayed with her.
"I don't know how you can be so calm," he whispered. "I can't even get myself focused enough to meditate."
Vaiya looked at him over her shoulder. She knew that she had told herself that she would wait to share with him all the things she'd learned, but there were at least five or so hours of the night left and her father seemed to need something. He was so mentally drained, he would not be prepared for the morning's events if he did not regenerate himself. With a small smile, she turned and headed into a nearby conference room. There was a table in the middle with grandly ornated chairs, but towards the heel of the room were a few small couches that faced each other. Vaiya made herself comfortable, and her father followed her example.
"There's much I wanted to tell you, Father," she said, trying to keep the eagerness out of her face but unable to help it. "So many things happened to me."
"I can see that, although you were hardly gone two weeks."
"You know how fast people can grow up," she said, "if the right things happen."
Mara lay on her bed, wishing she could not think, for once in her life. The very effort made her sick. But the thoughts whirled on endlessly, the whispering voices told her that she didn't have to be afraid, that they were there with her, than allowing Vaiya to retrieve her memories would only bring her joy.
Phooey.
It took nearly an hour, but Mara managed to force her mind into a slow, silent pattern. Everything slipped away, even the room around her. A few mental steps farther, and she was in a trance.
How in the sith had she learned to do that? Oh, yeah, the Mara she had been was a Jedi Knight. Well, it explained some things, and it proved to Mara that Knighthood largely depended on if you believed in it. She knew she couldn't do some of the things that the other Mara could do. If she could, she would be out of here already.
Instead, the very effort kept her here. Because instead of finding this other Mara's Jedi powers, she found the other Mara's feelings. The feelings about Vaiya, the feelings about Skywalker, the knowledge of things she had said to Vaiya in spite of all of her old instincts to always keep her mouth shut. Sometimes the truth did make the best lie, but Vaiya had still seen right through it. They all knew her, and she didn't even know herself.
But what was really standing in her way?
With all other thoughts cleared out, Mara was able to focus on this one question. All she wanted was some sort of sign, something to focus her concern on. All this scattered anxiety was just too much to handle.
One word....Skywalker.
She pondered him, what little there was to ponder. The look on his face when she had first opened her eyes, the immense relief there. And then the utter horror as she lost control and began to scream, shying away from him, the hate radiating from her like an overheated blaster. The haggard, exhausted look on his face when Vaiya had first come to her, the pleading expression, the I'll-die-if-you-reject-me-again look. For a short while, Mara had enjoyed it. But it was far from enjoyable now.
Maybe if she could somehow allieviate her fear. She pushed deeper into her meditation, touching those emotions that were so alien to her and yet completely from her own heart. Skywalker, instead of growing dimmer under the onslaught of courage, grew larger. As she pushed deeper, she could see how she had cared for him. She didn't understand why, but she did. Something was there, some strings of fate that pulled at her even now. The fact that he seemed to complete her, her opposite, her compliment, her match.
This was impossible.
Mara opened her eyes. There was a nice window on the far side of her room. She got up off the bed and went to sit down on the wide steel sill. It was an old trick she used to use to let herself rest and yet stay on her feet. It was a comforting guesture, and it did help a little, but as she gazed down at Coruscant and watched as the early dawn shed its light upon those that remained awake through the night, she knew what her decision had to be.
She just hoped that Skywalker would be able to forgive her...someday.
She rang the buzzer for the attending nurse, and told him that she wanted to see Vaiya again. "They have left the lounge," he said, "I'll have to send for them at their apartments."
"They're in a conference room," Mara said, and then realized what it was she had said. How did she know that? Perhaps all her thinking about Skywalker last night had reached him somehow. Of course Vaiya was with him---she didn't have to be Force sensitive to figure that much out.
The nurse, for his part, smiled and nodded and went on his errand. Within a few minutes, Vaiya was there with her, alone. She had discarded that cape, and her hair was rather disheveled. Mara could see her own reflection in Vaiya at the moment, and it helped to alieviate some of her anxiety.
"Well...do what you came to do," Mara whispered.
"So you've decided you want your memories back." It was a statement, not a question. "Then why are you so afraid?" Vaiya approached her, and gently put her hands on Mara's shoulders. "You don't have to be, you know."
The look Mara gave her was begging for mercy. "Vaiya...do what you came to do, please."
With a deep breath, Vaiya placed her hands on either side of Mara's head. She reached forward with her mind and felt Mara do the same. Within seconds, they had melded.
Vaiya opened the door, and the last 30-odd years of Mara's life came tumbling out.