DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. Star Trek Voyager and associated characters, names and references belong to Paramount and Gene Roddenberry. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
N.B. Thoughts are in // and Italics.
Obi-Wan ended up in his quarters. He didn't remember going there. All he knew was that the woman he loved needed him and there was NOTHING he could do to help her. Obi-Wan was sitting on the edge of his bed. He could feel the tears coming. He fought them back, //I WILLNOT CRY,// he told himself. His emotions paid no attention to his mind. A tear drifted down his cheek. Followed by another and another. The tears became sobs. "Kathryn," he cried. It was all he could say. He sank to his knees on the floor, buried his face in his hands and continued to sob. He felt Qui-Gon's mind gently probe his own. He attempted to block his thoughts but was so out of control he could not. Obi-Wan was afraid - afraid of more of Qui-Gon's disapproval, fearing that Qui-Gon would want to rid himself of a Padawan who could not control his emotions. Qui-Gon did not react immediately. Obi-Wan was so upset he didn't notice when Qui-Gon entered the room.
"Obi-Wan," he said softly.
Obi-Wan mentally cursed himself, his inability to control his emotions.
//A Jedi doesn'tcry. I am not a true Jedi. Qui-Gon was right, I am a disappointment to him and a disgrace as aJedi.//
//No Obi-Wan you aren't a disgrace. You ARE a Jedi. A true Jedi is never afraid of hisemotions. Releasing emotions often can cause a peace that would otherwise be elusive. I oweyou an apology.//
//No Master you don't, I was wrong.//
//Yes, but I was wrong as well. I felt the same way and criticized you for it.//
//Yes but you didn't go chopping up Borg.//
//Perhaps not, but I didn't help you deal with your anger.//
//Master,// Obi-Wan's mental voice was choked.
Qui-Gon placed a hand on his apprentice's shoulder.
//Obi-Wan, to save her you must letgo of your guilt as well as your anger and fear.//
//But how, Master.//
//Think of your love for her, her love for you, let that which now makes you weak makeyou strong. And forgive yourself - you did nothing wrong.//
//But Master, if it's not my fault than how come I see the signs that I should have seen? Ishould have known, because of what Q said and did. I should have known.//
//Padawan, even if that were true, then it is in the past. Let go of the past to save thefuture. Obi-Wan, I have lost my daughter, I don't want to lose you, Padawan, Son,// thought Qui-Gon.
//I'll try Master, no I will stay. You won't lose me. Though I feel as if I've lost a part ofmyself.//
//I understand.// thought Qui-Gon. With that the Jedi Master embraced Obi-Wan as Obi-Wan continued to sob. They shared their grief, fear and pain over what had happened. And in sharing them the clouds of darkness evaporated allowing rays of hope to shine into their spirits.