DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
Obi-Wan was taking a shower. With his clothes.
Well, his clothes weren't on him, but they were in the shower with him. After all, they weren't getting any cleaner by his wearing them all the time. Suddenly, the door chime sounded musically.
"Panaka!" Obi-Wan snarled, leaping from the shower and whipping a towel around his waist. "What is it?" he started to say as the door swished open. It wasn't Panaka.
A young handmaiden, clothed in orange robes, stood in his doorway. Obi-Wan was almost positive she was going to slap him in the face and scream "Pervert!" Then she looked up. A familiar pair of dark eyes stared at him in abject shock.
It wasn't a handmaiden. It was the Queen.
Obi-Wan yelped and keyed the door frantically. Two minutes later, he opened it again, clad in his sopping robes.
"How may I help you?" he asked lamely.
He got one glance of her liquid brown eyes before she tackled him, wet robes and all. "Amidala!" he squeaked. Obi-Wan just managed to hit the door before she knocked him over entirely. It was fortunate-- he had no idea how bad this mess could get if someone were to see him sitting on the floor of his room, soaking wet, holding one bawling monarch.
He carefully pushed her hood back, and stroked her hair carefully, using the Force to soothe her frazzled emotions.
"I don't want to marry him..." she finally managed to sputter out.
"You don't?" he asked gently.
"Uh-uh..." she sobbed, burying her face in his robes. "Why are you all wet?"
"I was in the shower."
"With your clothes?"
"Yes."
She looked up at him tearfully. "Why didn't you come to see me?"
He looked shocked. "I tried. Your handmaiden said you didn't want to see me."
Amidala thought for a moment. "I told her I wanted to be alone. I guess she took it seriously. I don't know what to do, Obi-Wan. I'm confused."
"If you don't want to marry him, don't," Obi-Wan scolded.
"It's not that simple... Our planet needs this alliance."
"Then find another way to get him to sign the treaty."
"I don't think he'll go for it."
"Well..." Obi-Wan sighed dramatically. "I guess you'll just have to marry him and keep me around as a concubine."
"Obi-Wan!" she exclaimed, smiling through her tears. "You jerk."
"Your handmaiden thinks I'm a pervert. I'm collecting quite the assortment of adjectives."
"Why does she think you're a pervert?"
"Er... long story."
Amidala snuggled into his damp robes. "Can I just have a hug for a while?"
"Will it help solve your current marriage dilemma?"
"No. But it will make me feel better."
"Oh. One hug it is, then."
"This isn't working," Anakin said, pacing the handmaidens' chamber. "We can't just wait around for him to do something evil."
"Well, can't we... blame something on him?" Ric tried.
"I think that's going a little too far," Sache said quietly. "Breaking up the wedding is one thing. Discrediting an innocent person is another."
"Wait..." Eirtae said, a slow smile spreading over her face. "Amidala already doesn't want to marry him. All we have to do is make him not want to marry her."
"How do we do that?" Anakin asked.
Eirtae frowned. "Ric, what would make you not want to marry someone?"
"Um... if she were really ugly?"
"Ric!"
"Sorry. Um... Maybe if she were taken. Nah. Knowing Westerly, that wouldn't bother him. It's the little things that bother guys the most. Pushiness, for one. Clinginess. That sort of thing."
"I've got an idea," Sabe said slowly. The other handmaidens stared at her in shock.
"You?" Eirtae asked skeptically.
"Mm-hmm. It should wait until morning, though. We're only going to need me and you, Eirtae, and maybe Sache. Anakin, you should go back to the ducts. If Westerly pulls anything, I want to know about it."
"Yes, ma'am," Anakin said, pulling off a sloppy salute.
Sabe smiled wickedly. "We're going to make Westerly sorry he ever proposed."
"M'lady? M'lady, where are you?"
Rabe wrung her hands nervously. The Queen wasn't in her bedroom, or her sitting room, or her balcony. She wasn't on the walkway where she occasionally took evening strolls. It was late... where could she be?
"No!" Rabe gasped. "She wouldn't!" And then she took off running for the guest quarters.
"Thank you, Obi-Wan," Amidala said, adjusting the hood of her handmaiden's cloak. "You're really a good friend."
"At least I'm good for something."
They hadn't found a solution to Amidala's problems, or even really discussed them, but Obi-Wan suspected a long cry had been therapeutic for the young queen. She internalized her feelings so much, that it was hard for her to really deal with them. Furthermore, she didn't have any real friends or confidantes outside of the handmaidens, who spent most of their time trying to keep her happy and calling her "m'lady."
"I'd... better go," Amidala said quietly, staring down at the floor. "The handmaidens will be wondering where I am."
Suddenly, the door chime rang, and they both jumped. "I'll take care of it," Obi-Wan promised.
Rabe fidgeted. She didn't want to be anywhere near Obi-Wan Kenobi's quarters, but if the Queen... She couldn't even bring herself to complete the thought.
The door swished open, and Rabe gasped.
The so-called Jedi Knight stood in the doorway, his clothes sticking to him damply. His hair seemed to be sticking out in at least twelve different directions. "Yes?" he asked impatiently.
"I...I..." she stuttered. "Have you spoken to the Queen tonight?"
"Perhaps."
"Do you know where she is?"
Suddenly, Amidala pushed past him. She was dressed in the handmaiden's robes she wore when she wished to go about the palace unnoticed. For some reason, they seemed slightly damp, as well. "I'm right here, Rabe." She turned back towards Obi-Wan. "Thank you, again, Obi- Wan." Standing on her tiptoes, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll see you in the morning." With that, she started down the hallway, back to her chambers.
Rabe just stood in silent horror.
"Is there something else?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Pervert!" she accused and dashed down the hallway after her queen.
Obi-Wan just shook his head and walked back into his room.