Author's Notes: Picture Queen Mataunia as Dame Judi Dench (M in the new Bond movies) and Toraz as Wilfred Brimley...for some reason it works, really well.
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognisable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the property of the author.
"Prince Westerly! Oh, Prince Westerly!" Rabe knocked on the door frantically.
"Hmm?" he asked opening the door. "Ahh, fair handmaiden. How are you?"
"Have you seen Amidala today?"
"I was told she was busy with the wedding preparations and was unable to see me today."
"I can't find her anywhere."
Westerly scowled. "That vile scoundrel Kenobi must have absconded with her."
"I thought as much. Sache said she saw him this morning, but no one's seen him recently."
"We must go rescue her from his foul clutches."
"I don't know where she is."
"Oh. Right. Mmm... We could wait outside his quarters and confront him when he returns!"
"Good idea, your Highness!"
"Of course it is. I thought of it."
"Must you walk up there?"
"You don't like the fact that I'm now two feet taller than you."
"Padme, do you seriously think I lived with Qui-Gon Jinn since I was thirteen years old, and have height issues? I don't like the fact that you are going to fall off that stupid wall and gash something open. Then I'll have to drag you back to the palace, bleeding horribly. Furthermore, I'll be forced to come up with some horrendous lie to tell Panaka, because falling off a wall is just too stupid."
"Is that one of your Jedi premonitions?" she teased.
"No. I have lived with Anakin Skywalker for the better part of a year. If the Council knew how many cuts, scrapes, burns, bumps and sprains he has accumulated under my supervision, I'd probably be burned as a Sith. I've learned to see these things coming."
"The mighty Obi-Wan Kenobi, developing parental instinct? I'm shocked."
"You should be. And who's Obi-Wan? I'm Ben."
"That's right, you are. Can we still call your little buddy Anakin, or do we have to make up a fake name for him, too?"
"Anakin will do just fine."
"I hope he's doing well with the Council."
"Me, too."
"I'm sure he's having a blast and all-- so many other little Padawan brats to run around and fight with."
"Mmm."
"But I wish he were here."
"Hmm?" Obi-Wan suddenly looked up.
"He's such a sweet boy. He always makes me feel like a person, not some china doll that you can barely touch. Besides which, I'm sure if he were here, he'd just kick Westerly in the shins."
"That would hardly be a help."
"No. But it would be funny."
"Anakin adores you."
"I know."
"And?"
"And what?"
"How do you feel about him?" Obi-Wan looked at her questioningly.
Amidala's jaw dropped. "He's just a little boy!"
"You're not that much older than him."
"Yes, I am, Ben. Maybe not in years, but there are other things that count more. Westerly's older than you are, you know."
"Oh."
"Oh, what?"
"Just... oh. It didn't have to mean anything."
"You know what I think, Obi-Wan Kenobi?"
"BEN."
"Ben, whatever. You know what I think?"
"What do you think?"
"I think--" THUMP.
And suddenly, she wasn't walking next to him anymore.
"Padme? Amidala?"
There was a soft whimper from the other side of the low wall.
Obi-Wan peered over it, to see Amidala sitting in the grass, eyes tearing slightly. He looked down at the wall. One of the bricks was crumbling. She'd slipped.
"Are you all right?" he asked, concerned.
"I'm just fine. I just landed in grass."
"Liar."
"What?"
"You're lying."
"Jedi tricks, again?"
"No. Your eyes are tearing up. Did you twist your ankle?"
"I'm just fine," she snapped, standing up.
"Your leg..."
Amidala glanced down at her lower leg. As she fell, it had scraped against the rough brick, and a long abrasion was beginning to bleed an angry red. She grimaced. "It'll be fine in a minute. It'll be better if I walk it off."
Obi-Wan hopped over the low wall, grabbed her waist, and sat her down on the wall so her legs dangled over the edge. "You'd better let me clean that up."
"I told you, I can walk." Her voice began to waver just a little.
"I never doubted it. I just don't want your shoes to get all bloody. Hold still. It'll just be a minute." He pulled out a roll of gauze.
"Why do you have that?"
"I told you. Anakin. I've taken to carrying this stuff everywhere."
She was silent as he gently bound the wound. "Tell me if it's too tight," he warned. "According to Anakin, I'm the worst doctor ever. He swears he'll get me for malpractice one of these days."
"Obi-Wan?"
He didn't even bother to correct her. "Yes?"
"Do you think of me like Anakin? Just some kid to watch over?"
"Never. I think you are a bright, capable, confident, beautiful young woman."
"But you think I'm too young for Westerly."
"I think Master Yoda is too young for Westerly."
"Ben!"
Obi-Wan tied off the bandage. "Padme, you are certainly mature enough to marry anyone you wish. I just want you to marry someone you want to. How old do I think you are? I think you're too young to settle for someone you aren't completely and madly in love with, and who isn't madly and completely in love with you."
Amidala flashed a small smile. "Thanks."
"Hey, you didn't scream in terror that I was trying to make your leg go gangrenous. That was thanks enough."
"I didn't mean about the bandage," she said, hopping off the wall.
"Oh. Don't mention it." They resumed their path down the street, this time on the other side of the wall.
"Um... Ben, I don't think we're supposed to be walking on the grass."
"Hmm. Imagine that."
The honorable King Toraz III of Jocar was absolutely bored out of his skull. He leaned over to his wife. "Do we really need to go over all the harvest statistics right now?"
"The Yoopta Festival is tomorrow," Queen Mataunia replied. "These are important."
Prime Minister Paalen continued to blather on about this year's lyrrne crop.
Suddenly, there was a rap at the huge double doors at the other end of the throne room. A servant poked his head in the door. "King Toraz? Queen Mataunia? There are visitors who seek an audience."
"We're busy now. Tell them to wait," Mataunia said stiffly.
There was a pause as the servant conversed quickly with the visitors. "They will be admitted now," he said, voice devoid of emotion.
The Queen's face became stony as a three-foot-tall mass of dark brown cloak walked into the room, followed by a girl, dressed in the robes of a Nubian handmaiden.
"What is the meaning of this?" the Prime Minister burbled, angry at the interruption.
"My question exactly," the Queen said smoothly.
The shorter of the two pushed back the hood of his cloak. "Greetings, your Majesties. I am Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Padawan and--"
"Making them young these days, are they?" Toraz mused.
"Shh," Mataunia scolded.
Anakin scowled. "I come here, representing Queen Amidala of Naboo, your son's fiancee."
Mataunia raised one eyebrow. "Yes?"
Anakin's voice took on a strange quality that seemed oddly convincing. "You will accompany us to--"
King Toraz sneezed.
"Aw, shoot," Anakin frowned.
Prime Minister Paalen was livid. "Who do you think you are, ordering their royal Highnesses as--"
"Hey, gimme a minute," Anakin defended.
"Young man, your presence is no longer amus--"
BLAM!
All eyes in the room centered on the handmaiden, who had suddenly produced a rather large, not to mention wicked-looking, blaster. "That was a warning shot," she said, leveling the blaster at Paalen. "Your Majesties, you will be accompanying us to Naboo. Or shall you be needing a new Prime Minister?"
"Guards!" the Queen yelled.
There was a loud hiss, and the boy now brandished a glowing lightsaber. A few of the guards tried to fire, but Anakin deflected each of the blasts.
"Your Minister has twelve seconds to live," Tare announced.
"We shall accompany you," Mataunia scowled.
"I'm not that fond of Paalen..." Toraz started, earning him a glare from his wife.
Tare looked at Anakin, a slight smile gracing her features. "See? Was that really so hard?"
Anakin just stared at her.
"I think it's dinnertime," Westerly said hopefully. They were sitting outside of Obi-Wan quarters, leaning against the door.
"Our resolve mustn't flag," Rabe said. "We can't miss him."
"Oh, right," Westerly said. "Maybe... one of could go get dinner and then come back and the other one could go?"
"I... suppose that would do."
"Or I could go get some food and bring it back."
"Perhaps I should go. If Jedi Kenobi were to come back, I don't know if I could confront him."
"Ah. But you feel protected by the mass of muscle that is Prince Westerly!"
Rabe blinked. Mass of muscle? "Whatever," she said vacantly.
"He must have run off like the dog he is," Westerly soliloquized. "But Obi-Wan Kenobi will rue the day he set eyes on my fiancee! Hahahaha!" He looked around and realized Rabe had left. He'd just been ranting villainously to himself. "Aw, nuts," he commented.
No matter how many times I go into space, Obi-Wan decided, no matter how many stars and nebulas I see, I think they shall never compare to a beautiful sunset.
Beside him, Amidala sighed. "It's almost dark. We need to get back to the palace soon."
"Soon," he agreed noncommitally.
"I wish we could stay right here forever."
"It is beautiful," Obi-Wan agreed.
"I think I'll miss her."
"Who?"
"Padme."
Obi-Wan felt just a little confused. "Where is she going?"
Amidala sighed. "It's stupid. When I first became Queen, Padme was just a name we came up with for when I needed to go incognito. But then the girls and I would sneak down to town sometimes, and I'd be Padme. She was sort of my alter-ego. The person I would have been if I weren't the Queen."
"Oh. I see."
"Really? I'm not nuts?"
"Of course not."
"But soon I'll be married to Westerly. No more sneaking down to town or playing hookie."
"Maybe you could go to town with Westerly. He could be Ghunash."
"Westerly? Are you kidding?"
"Oh. I see your point."
"So I guess this is goodbye. It was nice knowing you, Pad."
"I think I'll miss Ben, too."
"Why? You can keep him if you want."
"Where else am I going to need the guise of a Nubian farmboy with a speeder bike addiction and too much pride for his own good?"
"Good point. Hey, Obi-Wan?"
"Yeah?"
"Would it be stupid to make up a happy ending for Padme?"
"Not at all."
"Good. Then she gets to marry a handsome but poor man who loves her more than anything, and they live happily ever after without ever worrying about planetary invasion or trade negotiations. And there are absolutely no yerknahs at the wedding."
"Sounds good."
"So what about Ben?"
"What about Ben?"
"Does he get a happy ending, too?"
"No."
"No?" she asked disappointed.
Obi-Wan grinned. "He was kinda hoping for a chance at Padme, but she's married, so..."
Amidala smiled mischievously. "Hey. Who do you think that poor- but-handsome guy was?"
"There you go. Two happy endings for the price of one."
Amidala laughed softly, and stared up into the now-dark sky. Her leg stung a little where she'd scraped it, but she resisted the urge to rub the wound. She closed her eyes. "Jedi Kenobi, could you take me home now?"
"As you wish, your Highness," he replied.
And silently, the two headed back towards the palace.