DISCLAIMER: The characters in this story belong to CBS and Viacom. This is a piece of fan fiction, written for pleasure and not for profit. The characters are borrowed for the purpose of the story.

SUMMARY: Relationships between the newly arrived Jesse Travis and Steve Sloan are less than friendly until an incident draws them together. Jesse also struggles to overcome a personal problem that has affected his life from a very young age.

AUTHORS NOTES: Feedback welcome at ebr45@yahoo.co.uk.

Jesse Travis hated elevators. He had done since he was 6 years old and he’d had the misfortune to get trapped in one.

It had been the week before Christmas. He and his mom were in a crowded department store waiting for the elevator to arrive. When it did the crowd of people all eager to get out of the store and start their journeys home had surged forward en masse. Jesse’s grip on his mother’s hand was broken and he found himself swept up and carried along with a group of harried jostling shoppers all intent on fighting their way into the elevator. He turned around just in time to see the doors close - with his mom the other side of them. He’d tried to fight his way to the door but he was wedged in between the other fractious shoppers tighter than a sardine in a can.

"Keep calm Jesse and just get out at the next floor", his mom had cried out and he would have done just that and everything would have been fine had the lift not descended a few feet and then stopped. A frisson of alarm had spread throughout the car - half an hour later it was beginning to turn into full-scale panic. An hour later the air was growing hot and stale and the voices of the occupants of the car were fast becoming tinged with hysteria.

Jesse - crushed up in the corner - white faced and shaking with fear - utterly convinced he was going to die in that hot airless metal coffin - found that no one was interested - or particularly cared - about a small boy they each assumed belonged to someone else. They were more concerned about themselves. When the elevator was eventually winched to the next floor where it had disgorged its disgruntled occupants, Jesse’s mother, never the most maternal of women, had scooped the white-faced and terrified child up into her arms.

"It’s ok sweetheart," she had crooned.

"I was s .. s .. scared m....m .. mom", Jesse had stuttered.

Since that incident, and despite extensive speech therapy, whenever Jesse became overly nervous or upset the stammer would return with a vengeance and leave the young man, literally tongue-tied. As a result Jesse was to endure years of cruel taunts and ridicule through junior, high and med school from people who were too ignorant and too stupid to realise that if they had just taken the time to voice one kind word of encouragement, one "hey Jess – take your time", instead of either mocking the young man or shrugging and walking away because they simply lost patience with him, it would have helped Jesse enormously.

And if the stammer by itself weren’t enough, Jesse had suffered from nightmares for months afterwards the incident in the elevator where he dreamt he was slowly being crushed by a wall of people. Even now, 21 years later, he did his level best to avoid using elevators - in fact he tried his hardest to steer well clear of any small confined space.

However, this morning his aversion to them was academic. Jesse was simply too tired to use the stairs at Community General and so he fell into the elevator and slumped against the walls, grateful for their support. When the doors opened he exited the elevator as fast as he could, colliding heavily with someone who was just about to enter it. Strong tanned hands reached out to steady Jesse and a gruff - and oh so familiar voice - muttered, "Why the HELL don’t you look where you’re going Travis?"

"S .. S .. Sorry", Jesse mumbled, glancing up apologetically at Steve Sloan who stood glowering down at him like Jesse was something nasty he’d found stuck on the bottom of his shoe!

"It doesn’t - oh GREAT!" snapped Steve as the elevator doors slid shut. Reaching past Jesse he stabbed repeatedly at the call button but it was too late. Steve turned back to Jesse and fixed him with a withering look before heading for the stairs.

As he headed in the direction of the doctor’s lounge for his first much needed injection of caffeine Jesse wondered, not for the first time, what he’d ever done to incur Steve Sloan’s wrath. When Mark Sloan had first introduced Jesse to his son, Steve had been real friendly and relaxed. He had smiled at Jesse – a slow sleepy smile that had made Jesse’s lonely heart jump in his chest. Jesse had fallen in love with the tall lean detective right there and then – something that had only happened to him once before - and he preferred to draw a veil over that bitter experience.

If only, thought Jesse, as he took a mouthful of coffee grimacing at the bitter taste, he were able to pluck up the courage to suggest to Steve that they go grab a beer or two after work, he could have asked the detective a few probing questions – find out if he stood a chance with the guy. But he didn’t think Steve would be prepared to hang around long enough while Jesse stammered out an invitation. And then after weeks spent painstakingly practicing until he was sure the words would come out without causing him too much embarrassment, Steve’s attitude towards him had suddenly changed – becoming more and more hostile until now, four months later, the most the two men did when they met was to grunt at one another before moving hurriedly on.

Swallowing the last mouthful of coffee with a shudder, Jesse pushed Steve Sloan to the back of his mind. He had a busy day ahead of him.

---

As he headed for his car Steve wished he could put Jesse Travis out of his mind - it would make his life a lot more …. Comfortable. As he eased himself into his car Steve was aware of just how … Uncomfortable he was. His cock was straining against the fabric of his jeans. He ached for physical release but he could hardly relieve himself in broad daylight in the middle of the car park in Community General, much as he might want to. Instead he concentrated his focus on the pile of paperwork waiting for him back at the precinct and slowly – painfully slowly – he got himself back under control.

As he turned the key in the ignition Steve cursed the day Jesse Travis had started work at Community General.

"Steve – I’d like you to meet Jesse Travis", his father had said when Steve had called in to take his dad to lunch in the hospital canteen. "He starts his internship with me today. Jesse – meet my son Steve".

Jesse, who had been reading through a patient’s chart, had turned and smiled shyly at Steve from underneath his mop of thick blond hair and Steve had been hopelessly lost from that moment on. His waking and sleeping moments were now totally dominated by thoughts of Jesse and for the last four months Steve felt like he’d had a perpetual hard on. Which, upon reflection, he considered as he drove to the precinct – he had!

As the weeks had passed Steve had watched Jesse carefully. To the best of his knowledge the young man had never been out on a date – but then that wasn’t surprising since he was new to LA and he was putting in long hours at the hospital so any spare time he did have was likely to be spent sleeping. With the object of his affection no closer to being attainable Steve had become more and more bad tempered and the more he saw of Jesse the more he took it out on the young man. He knew his behaviour made no sense – anger transference a psychologist would probably call it –and each time he saw Jesse he resolved to talk to the young man, to ask a few subtle but equally incisive questions – and check out whether or not he stood a snowball in hell’s chance with the young man but then each time he saw Jesse, Steve would chide himself for living in a dream world – why would Jesse who was so bright and easy going be interested in a taciturn jaded cop? And so Steve’s attitude towards the young man grew more and more aggressive – until now the men squared up like angry cats whenever they came into contact with one another.

"Oh damn it to hell", Steve muttered as he pulled into the precinct and tried to put all thoughts of Jesse Travis out of his head.

TWO DAYS LATER

"So I figured that …..".

"Oh man I am bushed", Jesse announced, bursting into the doctor’s lounge and interrupting Steve who was talking through his plans for a surprise birthday party for his dad. "Hey Amanda", he greeted his colleague cheerfully. "Steve", he added curtly, before turning his attention to the coffee machine.

"As I was saying BEFORE I was interrupted", continued Steve, his eyes sweeping over Jesse coldly before he turned back to face Amanda. "I figured that I’d invite 30 - 35 people max".

"Sounds great", Amanda enthused. "And Mark has no idea?"

"None at all", replied Steve.

"Hey – areHeHeyHey you guys planning a party for Mark?" Jesse asked brightly, drawing up a chair and sitting down between Amanda and Steve.

"Trying to", snapped Steve. "And this is a private conversation Dr. Travis" he pointed out. "Don’t you have patients you need to see?" he added irritably.

"And don’t you have crimes you should be out solving Lieutenant Sloan?" Jesse retorted, pushing back his chair angrily. "Jeez, you spend more time here than you ever do at the precinct", he added.

"Guys guys - enough" cried Amanda. "Oh hi Mark", she added brightly as the tall distinguished doctor entered the lounge. Jesse took immense pleasure in seeing the expression of guilt that crossed over Steve’s face when his father entered the room.

"Hi Steve". Mark’s face creased up with pleasure at the sight of his son. "What’s that?" he asked, spotting the sheet of paper on the table in front of Steve.

"It’s er ….", Steve’s confusion was wondrous to behold but, at the end of the day, Jesse wouldn’t have wished to spoil Mark’s surprise.

"It’s mine", Jesse piped up, snatching the paper and folding it in half before stuffing it in the pocket of his doctor’s coat. "I’m planning a belated apartment warming party and I was just drawing up a list of invitees", he added, before heading for the door.

"Well I hope we’re all on it", said Mark, grinning over at his young colleague.

"Well you and Amanda are certainly", replied Jesse. "I’m inviting all my friends". The deliberate insult was not lost on Steve who sat watching helplessly as Jesse - and the list he had so carefully worked on - disappeared out of the door!

"I should get back to the station. Catch you later dad", he said and sped off after Jesse.

---

"Ok Travis - give it up" said Steve as he caught up with Jesse by the elevators where the young man was leaning up against the wall, grinning at him.

"What - no ‘thank you for stepping in and getting me out of a fix’?" replied Jesse, meeting Steve’s level gaze. "No I guess not – after all being polite to me might kill you", he remarked caustically.

"Just give me the damn list", growled Steve, advancing on the young man.

"You forgot to say please", replied Jesse, who was enjoying himself immensely. For once he had the big man on the run and he was going to savour every brief moment of watching Steve squirm for what he wanted.

"Ok - that’s it". Grabbing hold of Jesse, Steve all but physically threw him into the waiting elevator, ignoring the young man’s protests. "Now …..", Steve was interrupted by the arrival of a patient on a gurney who was wheeled in by a burly orderly.

"Hold the doors please", a voice cried out and four more people piled in. The elevator was almost full and Steve was forced to move closer to Jesse until their bodies were almost touching. The doors slid shut - the elevator moved off. It travelled a few feet, before coming to a grinding halt as the power went off.

---

The emergency generator kicked in within a few seconds and the lights came back on but the elevator didn’t resume its movement. There was a collective groan from the occupants of the elevator.

"Oh not again", one of the women complained. "This is the third time this month. Last time I was stuck in this damned thing for ten minutes".

"You’re complaining?" asked another. "I had to wait nearly half an hour last week. Damn elevators", she muttered, reaching out and pressing the alarm. A high-pitched wail echoed through the elevator shaft.

"Guess we’ll just have to wait for maintenance to get off their butts and winch this thing up to the next floor", she informed the other occupants.

"Come on Trav …..", Steve’s voice froze in his throat as he looked down at Jesse, shocked by the young man’s appearance. Jesse’s face was chalk white and he was shaking. Violently.

"Jesse, are you ok?" Which was a stupid question and Steve regretted asking it the moment the words left his mouth because it was patently evident that Jesse was far from being ok. "Jesse - Jess - look at me!" Steve commanded. No response. "Jesse". Steve reached out and grabbed the young man firmly by the shoulders and shook him - hard. Jesse raised his head and his panic-stricken eyes met those of Steve’s.

"I … h .. h.. have to g.. g.. g..". It was painful to watch as Jesse tried and failed to speak.

"He gonna be ok?" the orderly asked. "Last thing we want is someone freaking out - there ain’t enough room in here for a start", he added, laughing at his attempt at wit.

"S .. S .. Steve". Jesse reached out and grabbed a tight hold of Steve’s shirt, bunching the material up in his fists. "P .. p .. please get me out of here".

And with that Jesse fainted.

---

As he regained consciousness Jesse was aware of two things: the first that he was still standing upright – which was hardly surprising since there was nowhere for him to fall - his body clasped very firmly against Steve’s, held fast by Steve’s powerful arms, which were wrapped protectively around his chest. The second, that, he was hemmed in on all sides by people, with no possible means of escape. Jesse moaned softly as the nightmare scenario that had occurred when he was six years old began another re-run in his tortured brain.

"It’s ok Jess", Steve whispered into his ear. "I’ve got you. Maintenance is on its way - we’ll be out of here in 10 - 15 minutes max. Just stay calm ok?"

"G. g .. get them away from me", Jesse moaned, cowering back against Steve, pressing his body hard against the big detective, his breath coming in short shallow gasps.

"There’s nowhere for them to go Jess", Steve reasoned, biting down hard on his lip as Jesse blindly pushed against him because the contact of the young man’s butt on his cock was causing his body to respond. Jesse wasn’t the only one breathing in short shallow gasps! Steve tried to push the young man away from him and at least give his body the chance to calm down, but Jesse seemed intent on crawling inside Steve’s skin.

"Jess". Steve’s voice was sharper than he intended it to be but he was so highly aroused that it took all his self-control not to come right there and then. "I want you to try and stay calm for me and take nice long slow breaths. Can you do that for me? Jesse. Jess? Come on now - in and out - nice and slow. That’s it. Good boy", Steve voiced his encouragement as Jesse struggled to control his breathing, at the same time that Steve was managing to bring his own desires under control. "Well done".

"And I thought women were supposed to be the ones who panicked in this sort of situation", one of the women remarked caustically.

"Hey give the kid a break", snapped Steve. "Haven’t you got something you’re afraid of?"

"Well - yeah - spiders", the women replied shamefaced. "Sorry", she mumbled. "I didn’t mean anything by that remark - I guess we’ll all a little strung out".

"It’s ok", Steve replied, turning his attention back to Jesse. "Doing good Jesse", he murmured softly into the young man’s ear. "It won’t be much longer now. I promise".

---

By the time maintenance arrived and the lift was eventually winched to the next floor, a further 40 minutes had passed and Steve was becoming seriously worried about Jesse. His body was bathed in a heavy cold sweat despite the warmth of the elevator car and he was shivering so violently that Steve was having a hard job holding on to him.

"You’re doing ok Jess", he whispered, re-adjusting his grip on the young man. Steve’s arms were growing tired - Jesse was not a big man but after holding on to him for a little over an hour the muscles in Steve’s arms were beginning to complain. But he wouldn’t let go of him - he sensed the young man needed contact of some kind. And Steve wasn’t about to protest - he liked having Jesse in his arms.

---

"S … s. sorry", Jesse apologised to Steve for what must have been the fiftieth time since Steve had all but carried him from the elevator after they were finally released. They were now ensconced in the doctor’s lounge where Jesse’s trembling hands were wrapped around a mug of hot coffee. "Y .. y must think I’m a t .. total wimp".

"Jesse if you apologise once more then I’m not going to be responsible for what I might do to you", said Steve. "Now come on - I’m taking you home. Dad?" Steve turned to his father who was sitting the other side of Jesse.

"Oh absolutely", agreed Mark. "You’re in no fit state to do any work today Jesse. Go home. I’ll call by after my shift ends and see how you’re doing. Steve can stay with you until then can’t you son?"

"I’m n .. n.. not a baby", Jesse protested.

"No you’re not", Mark agreed. "But you’ve had a nasty shock Jesse and you shouldn’t be on your own for the next few hours. Steve is off duty now and I’m sure he won’t mind taking care of you for a couple of hours".

Jesse wasn’t so sure about that, bearing in mind the older man’s hostility towards him over recent months but he nonetheless allowed Steve to haul him to his feet.

"Get him home and into a nice warm bed and make sure he stays there", Mark advised his son.

"I’ll do my best dad", Steve replied solemnly.

---

"Here – let me". Steve reached over and buckled up Jesse’s safety belt since the young man was still unable to bring his shaking limbs under control.

"Thanks". Jesse managed a watery smile before turning his head away so that Steve wouldn’t see the tears gathering in his eyes. God, thought Jesse, biting down on his lip – hard. Steve must think he was pretty pathetic. Stuck in an elevator for just over an hour and not only could he barely speak but he was about to start crying like a baby. Jesse closed his eyes and feigned sleep. He just hoped that, when they got to his apartment, he could persuade Steve that he was really was fine and he didn’t need a babysitter. Jesse had suffered enough humiliation for one day without having Steve Sloan sitting in his apartment watching as he fell apart.

---

"We’re here Jess", Steve announced softly as they pulled up outside Jesse’s apartment building.

"Wha….", Jesse, who had fallen into a heavy doze, came to with a start and began scrabbling with the safety belt. Steve reached over and patiently unclipped the belt. Their hands touched briefly and Jesse felt delicious thrills run down the back of his spine. He shivered and it wasn’t from the cold. Steve glanced over at him worriedly.

"Come on let’s get you into bed", he said softly.

The thrills down Jesse’s spine intensified.

---

"I’m afraid it’s a bit of a dump", Jesse admitted as they entered his apartment. "But it’s cheap and it’s on the ground floor, so at least I don’t have to worry about elevators". He attempted to laugh at that last comment but the laugh caught in his throat and quickly turned into a choked sob.

"It’s ok Jess", Steve said quietly, reaching out and placing his hands gently on the young man’s shoulders. Jesse looked up at him; his beautiful blue eyes brimming with unshed tears. He looked so lost and so vulnerable and Steve simply couldn’t bear the pain in the young man’s eyes a moment longer.

"Oh Jess", he whispered, bending down and allowing his lips to graze gently against Jesse’s. It was the briefest – the lightest – of kisses but the effect on Jesse was alarming. He sprang backwards as though he’d been electrified. Steve, too, jumped back guiltily.

"Jess – I’m sorry – I’m so sorry", he started to apologise. "I ….".

"Don’t", Jesse hissed. "Just … oh god no, please", he wailed.

"Jesse?" Steve was at the young man’s side in an instant. "What’s ….". As the heavy and unmistakeable smell of come filled the air it was all too apparent to Steve what had happened. And as he glanced down at Jesse’s faded blue jeans and saw a huge damp patch forming on the material he realised the young man had ejaculated.

"Jess".

"Leave me alone", Jesse said in a plaintive voice, sinking down on to the floor, tucking his knees into his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees. "Just … please go".

"I’m not leaving you like this", Steve said firmly. "You and I have to talk".

"What’s to talk about? Isn’t it bad enough that I make a total idiot of myself in front of half the staff at the hospital and then I c .. c.. come in my pants just like a 10 year old kid".

"First of all I hardly think one orderly, a patient who was unconscious and four administrative staff constitutes half the staff of Community General", Steve replied, reaching out to stroke the back of Jesse’s neck gently. "And secondly, you weren’t the only one who came in their pants Jesse", he added wryly.

"I wasn’t?" Jesse raised his head warily, his eyes drawn to Steve’s crotch where he spotted the telltale signs seeping their way through the fabric of the man’s black trousers. "B .. b .. oh dammit", he moaned softly, frustrated at his inability to speak.

"Sscch", Steve soothed, kissing Jesse softly on the forehead. "Just take your time Jesse – I’m not going anywhere".

---

"Corny as this may sound, I fell in love with you the moment dad introduced us", Steve informed Jesse, as they lay entwined in a bathtub full of steaming hot water, Jesse tucked between Steve’s long legs, his head resting comfortably on Steve’s chest.

"Really?" Jesse twisted his head round to look up at Steve, his face pink with pleasure. "So did I", he added. "And I wanted so badly to ask you if you’d go for a beer with me one night so I could …".

"Check out the lie of the land? So why didn’t you?"

"Well you have to have noticed by now that I have a problem with my speech", Jesse pointed out. "It gets worse when I’m nervous or upset – and I was always nervous around you Steve. It would have taken me ten minutes – maybe even longer - just to say your name".

Jesse laughed but Steve sensed a lot of pain behind the young man’s jocular stance and his arms tightened around him protectively.

"I would have waited for however long it took you Jess", he replied softly.

---

When the water grew cool and Jesse began to shiver, Steve shooed the young man out of the water, wrapped him in a towel and led him into the bedroom.

"Jess have you ever….?"

"No". Jesse shook his head. "But I know the theory", he added grinning, which remark drew a snort of laughter from Steve.

"The theory and the practice are poles apart babe", said Steve, leaning forward to kiss Jesse gently on the nose, before allowing his lips to travel slowly down until they claimed Jesse’s mouth. Gently, lovingly, Steve pushed Jesse back onto the bed where he removed the towel from the young man’s body.

"You are so beautiful Jess", he groaned as he straddled Jesse’s body, his eyes sweeping over the young man’s diminutive frame, savouring every inch of the smooth tanned virginal flesh. "I’ve dreamt about this moment for so long", he murmured, bending his head to nuzzle the soft flesh of Jesse’s neck. "So very …", Steve’s mouth trailed down Jesse’s body heading for the ultimate prize, "very ….", Steve raised his head, his eyes meeting those of Jesse’s. "Long", he added, before his mouth closed over Jesse’s erect cock.

"Oh god – Steve!" As the older man’s mouth closed over his erect member Jesse nearly came right there and then. He bit down on his lip – hard – and managed – just – to stop himself from spilling into Steve’s mouth. As Steve worked on him – sucking, licking, teasing his balls with his tongue, Jesse thought he would die from pure pleasure. Finally Jesse couldn’t hold out any longer and, thrusting upwards, he released himself into Steve’s eager mouth. As he collapsed back on the pillows, gasping for breath, his body streaming with sweat, Steve slid up his body, his mouth claiming Jesse’s, coating Jesse’s tongue with his own salty come. Jesse felt his cock twitching back to life.

"Such enthusiasm", laughed Steve as he felt Jesse’s cock growing. "I can see I’m going to have to pace myself with you Dr. Travis or you’ll kill me in a week. Now", he whispered, positioning himself so that his cock was pressed against Jesse’s. "I want the two of us to come together sweetheart. And", Steve added, reaching up to cradle Jesse’s head gently in both hands. "I want to watch your eyes when you come baby".

Steve began to move – slowly – imperceptibly, his cock grinding against Jesse’s. The friction of skin against skin – erect cock against erect cock – was mind blowing.

"Look at me Jesse", Steve commanded, his face bare inches from Jesse, his blue eyes boring into the young man. "I want to watch you when you come". Steve ground his cock harder against Jesse’s. "Oh god Jess", he moaned as he increased the rhythm. "I can’t …..".

"Steve", Jesse moaned.

"Look at me baby. That’s it – let me see your eyes. Come for me sweetheart. Oh ….".

Blue eyes met blue eyes – pupils dilated with heightened pleasure. And as their souls bonded, so too did their bodies, their hot seed streaming out in endless pulsing waves. Steve collapsed on to Jesse, his breath coming in harsh ragged gasps, covering the young man’s face, neck and chest, with soft loving kisses.

"That was … incredible", Jesse whispered. "I never realised …".

"Oh it gets better believe me", Steve replied, grinning wickedly, rolling over to relieve Jesse of his body weight, before drawing the young man into his strong protective embrace. "Much much better".

---

The sound of the doorbell woke them several hours later.

"Oh god – it’s your dad", said Jesse, sitting bolt upright in bed. "What? How? S .. S ..". Panic robbed him of all speech and Jesse sat regarding Steve mutely.

"It’s alright Jess", Steve reassured the young man. "Dad has known right from the start that I was in love with you. No one will be happier than him that we’ve finally gotten together".

"Really?"

"Really. Now before I go answer the door – how would you like to help me plan a party?"

---

Well thank heavens for that, thought Mark, as Steve let him into Jesse’s tiny apartment. Judging from the expression on Steve and Jesse’s faces they’d finally – FINALLY – realised that they were in love with one another. Which meant that everyone at Community General could now relax and remove their tin hats since the two men would no longer be at war with one another.

---

"Good morning Jesse", Mark greeted the young intern the following morning. "Sleep well?"

Jesse’s head snapped up in alarm at that question and his face blushed a bright crimson. After Mark had left, satisfied that Jesse was in more than capable hands, Steve had led Jesse back to the bedroom where the young man had curled into Steve’s body like a kitten nestling into its mother’s belly. They had slept until dawn when Steve had left to drive back to the beach house for a shower and change of clothes,

"It’s ok Jesse". Mark felt guilty for causing the young intern such intense embarrassment. "I know my son loves you. And I know you feel the same way about him. I’m just glad you’ve both finally realised it. Now", Mark continued briskly. "How are the plans for my surprise 75^th birthday party coming along?" he added, grinning wickedly.

"You mean you know? Aw Mark, Steve will be real disappointed", Jesse exclaimed.

"Oh Steve will never know I know", Mark replied mischievously. "Not unless you tell him Jess. Just tell me one thing". Mark slipped an arm around Jesse’s shoulders. "He’s not planning anything TOO outrageous is he?"

---

"Relax Steve". Amanda placed a reassuring hand on Steve’s arm. "Nothing is going to go wrong. Everything will be just perfect. After all", she added, grinning at Jesse. "You’ve had the very best of help planning this party".

"Sorry", Steve apologised. "I’m just … I just want this night to be perfect for my dad".

"I know you do Steve". Amanda was touched at the evident love Steve Sloan had for his father. "Now", she swatted Steve on the butt. "Get home. Get changed and meet us back here at the hotel in an hour with your dad".

Steve looked over at Jesse and Amanda suddenly felt very much like a gooseberry.

"I’ll uh just go and check on the seating plan again", she said, and quietly removed herself.

"Things have been kind of crazy for the past few days", Steve whispered, running a gentle finger down the side of Jesse’s face. "I’ve neglected you and I’m sorry but I plan to make it up to you Jess. I’ve booked us a room here tonight – after the party is over. I want to make love to you properly Jess". Steve’s eyes blazed with desire.

"I want that too", Jesse whispered. "But I’m scared Steve. Scared it will …."

"Hurt?" Steve completed the sentence for Jesse. "Jess I won’t lie to you – it might be.. Painful". Steve hesitated before continuing because for some people, if they were especially tight – then anal sex would never be comfortable. "But penetration isn’t the be all and end all in a relationship Jesse. There are plenty of other ways we can enjoy each other. The most important thing is that I love you – and I always will", he added, leaning forward to kiss the young man on the forehead.

---

Jesse was happy. Truly happy for the first time in more years than he cared to remember. As he stood next to Steve who was proposing a toast to his father, Jesse felt that he might actually belong somewhere at last.

He should have known it would be too good to last!

---

"My god – Jesse Travis – is it really you? Good god – how the hell are you TTT?" a drunken voice announced and in the next instant a heavy hand was placed on Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse’s head whipped up – both at the voice and the hateful nickname he had been forced to endure through med school - and he found himself confronted with a face he would rather have never seen again. Frank Pritchard. A very red-faced, and very drunk Frank Pritchard.

"Well aren’t you gonna introduce me to your friends TTT? Or has the cat got your tongue again?"

Pritchard threw his head back and laughed uproariously at his wit.

"This is a private party", Steve informed the man coldly.

"Oh a PRIVATE PARTY". Pritchard’s voice dripped sarcasm. "Well EXCUSE me. Say Jess – heard you joined the staff of Community General. Well good luck – to the patients – can’t imagine how they’d feel though about a doctor trying to say he needed a gurney s .. s …stat".

"G .. g .. g". Jesse struggled to unglue his tongue from the roof of his mouth. And as he stammered with the words he saw Pritchard’s drunken eyes fill with disdain just as they had done before …. Jesse cut that thought off right there and attempted to stammer out the sentence but the words simply refused to come. He subsided into embarrassed misery.

"God you’re pathetic Travis – but then you always were", said Pritchard, his eyes full of drunken spite.

"Ok that’s enough", snapped Steve. "I’m asking you to leave right now".

"And if I don’t?"

"Then I’ll kick your ugly butt out of here", Steve replied calmly, standing up to confront the man.

Pritchard was drunk – very drunk – but he wasn’t stupid. And as Steve stood up and Pritchard realised how tall and strong the man was, he decided that it was probably best to leave well alone. But he couldn’t resist one final parting remark as he stumbled back to join his party.

"Asked anyone out on a date lately TTT? Or did they die of boredom while you were trying to get the words out".

And, with that, Pritchard turned on his heel and stumbled back to the bar to join his friends.

---

Jesse wanted to die. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. He wanted a puff of smoke to make him disappear. He wanted to run screaming from the room. Instead he sat staring at his plate, his face puce with embarrassment as he imagined that all of the 35 assembled guests were staring at him with the same disgust he’d seen in Frank Pritchard’s eyes.

"Jesse – it’s ok", Amanda whispered softly, reaching out to squeeze his hand gently.

Jesse risked a quick glance at Steve – and flinched. Steve’s face looked as though it had been carved from rock. His lips were drawn in a tight line and his blue eyes were cold and hard. He turned to face Jesse and the young man quailed at the look on Steve’s face. He knew, right then and there, that it was all over between him and Steve - before it had really even had a chance to begin.

---

The evening finally – thankfully – drew to an end. The guests began to leave in a steady trickle until, finally, only the four of them – Amanda, Mark, Steve and Jesse were left.

"Mark I’m s .. s ..". Jesse turned to Mark and he tried – really hard – to apologise to the man but he couldn’t. The words simply froze in his throat.

"Jess …..". For once words also failed Mark. He sensed the young man’s agony and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to help Jesse, save seek out the man who had caused him so much distress and kick the crap out of him! So much for being a doctor and caring about his fellow man, Mark reflected ruefully.

"Come on Jess", Steve said curtly. "I’m taking you home".

---

Jesse followed Steve mutely to his car, slid in the passenger seat, buckled up and then turned his head to look out of the window into the black – bleak - night. He sensed Steve’s scorn and – quite frankly – he didn’t blame the man – Frank Pritchard had been right – he was pathetic - but that didn’t make things any easier. Jesse promised himself that as soon as he got home he was going to try and erase the whole horrible evening by getting blind falling down drunk. After that .. Well he would transfer his internship to another hospital.

Jesse was so busy planning what he was going to do next, he didn’t at first realise that they were heading the wrong way.

"Where are we going?" he asked, turning to face Steve. "My apartment is in the other direction".

"I know", Steve replied. "But I’m taking you home. To my home". Steve took his eyes from the road just long enough to look over at Jesse. "Dad’s staying at the hotel tonight Jesse, so you and I will have the beach house to ourselves. We need to talk", he added, before turning his attention back to the road.

---

Jesse had been to the beach house twice – once when Mark had invited him over for a barbecue, the second time to talk over some case files. As soon as he had walked through the door on his first visit he had felt at home. As he followed Steve through the front door he was only sorry this would be his last visit.

"Beer?" Steve asked curtly, heading for the kitchen.

"Yes – thank you".

Steve grabbed two cold beers from the fridge, popped the tops, handed one to Jesse and then with a nod of his head indicated the leather sofa. Jesse sat down, and drew himself as far into the corner as he possibly could.

"That guy". Steve had been a cop for too long to beat around the bush. He wanted answers and he wanted them fast.

"Frank Pritchard", replied Jesse. "We were at med school together. Only he was a few years ahead of me". Jesse took a long swallow of his cold beer.

"He called you TTT".

"Tongue tied Travis", Jesse informed Steve, trying and failing to meet the big man’s eyes. "It was a nickname Frank made up after I …". Jesse took another pull of his beer.

"After you what?" Steve’s voice was cold and abrupt. Jesse didn’t dare meet the man’s eyes. He just wanted to get this over with and go home where he could crawl under the covers of his bed and curse the day he’d gotten separated from his mother and dragged unwillingly into that damned elevator.

"After I tried – and failed to ask him out", Jesse said quietly. "I fell in love with Frank. He was everything I’d ever dreamed of. He was bright and funny – everyone gravitated towards him".

"Go on".

"I wanted him so badly Steve. It was like a constant ache inside me. I couldn’t work – couldn’t think – I just kept imagining the two of us together and so, eventually, after weeks of practicing I finally plucked up the courage to ask him out. I only stumbled over a few words too - I was so pleased with myself", he added sadly.

"What happened?" Steve asked softly.

"He …. Laughed at me". Jesse suddenly found something very interesting on the floor to study to avoid meeting Steve’s eye. "He told me that everyone at med school thought I was a total joke. That by the time I’d managed to finish a sentence most people had already gone into a coma. That’s when he came up with the nickname TTT", Jesse concluded sadly.

"God", Steve hissed between clenched teeth.

"That’s why, like I said, I could never pluck up the courage to ask you out Steve. I knew I’d make a complete fool of myself. Just like I did with Frank. I guess I’ll die a virgin at this rate", he added, forcing himself to laugh.

"No – you won’t", Steve said softly, sliding along the sofa until his body was touching Jesse’s. "Oh Jesse". Steve reached out to gently stroke the young man’s hair. "Do you have any idea how …", Steve checked himself for a moment before continuing, "Angry I was tonight when that idiot upset you?"

"But .. I thought .. that is", Jesse lowered his gaze. "I figured you were ashamed of me Steve. I sat there like the village idiot after all".

"Jesse". Steve reached out and cupped the young man’s face between his strong powerful hands. "Sweetheart I love you and there is no way that I would ever be ashamed of you. And I’m sorry – truly sorry – that I didn’t just get up and beat the shit out of Frank Pritchard. Because he sure as hell deserved it for what he put you through".

"It doesn’t matter", Jesse whispered, burying his head into Steve’s shoulder.

"Yes it does", Steve replied emphatically. "Because he hurt you Jess. And I’ll never forgive him for that".

---

"My mom and dad used to get real upset with me when I stammered", Jesse shyly confided in Steve, as he lay curled in Steve’s arms. "My mom used to get this look on her face when I was struggling to get a word out. In the end I pretty much stopped talking altogether".

"And your dad?"

"My dad left home when I was 8 years old. He … I … don’t want to talk about it anymore. I want you to make love to me Steve. Now. Here. Please?"

"Now, yes," replied Steve. "But not here Jesse. I’ve got somewhere far more comfortable in mind".

Reaching out Steve took Jesse’s hand in his own and led him down to his apartment.

---

"I don’t know what to do Steve", Jesse shyly confided, as Steve closed the door to his apartment and turned to face the young man.

"I’ll show you babe", Steve whispered, pulling the young man into his arms. "Do you trust me Jess?"

"Always".

"Then lay back and let me make love to you".

---

Turn on your side baby and pull your knees into your chest", Steve whispered. As Jesse complied with the instruction Steve reached into the top drawer of his bedside table and extracted a tube of lubricant and a condom. He ripped off the packaging and pulled the condom over his erect cock, glancing down at it with dismay. He was so incredibly hard – so huge – he wasn’t sure if Jesse would be able to accommodate him. Flipping the top off the lubricant, Steve slicked his fingers until they were dripping. Then he turned his attention back to Jesse’s quivering body.

"It’s going to be so good Jess", he soothed, reaching down and inserting one finger into Jesse’s puckered hole. "Relax baby", he added as Jesse flinched at the intimate contact. "I love you Jesse. And I want to be inside you. Right up inside you". Steve was dismayed at how tight Jesse was. Even inserting one finger was proving more than difficult.

"Try and relax", Steve whispered, pressing himself up against Jesse’s back. "I would never hurt you Jess but I want to be inside you, buried right up to the hilt in you".

Steve slipped another finger inside Jesse’s ass, moving slowly, stretching, scissoring, expanding the tight little hole. Steve was so rampant that he could have quite easily have thrown aside all caution and simply taken Jesse by force, plunging into the young man’s succulent ass, harder and harder until he reached blessed relief. But that would have been rape and he would never ever inflict that on his mate – his lover.

"Three fingers now Jess", Steve whispered, inserting another digit. Jesse whimpered, and buried his head into the pillow.

"Baby if you want me to stop – just squeeze my hand ok?" said Steve. "Don’t do this just to please me Jesse. If you’re not going to enjoy it then neither will I".

"It’s ok", Jesse hissed between clenched teeth, biting down so hard on his bottom lip that he drew blood.

Steve worked patiently, lovingly, stretching, scissoring, expanding Jesse’s ass until finally he judged the young man was ready.

"This is important Jesse", he whispered into the young man’s ear. "Take a deep breath and let it out. Then, as I enter you, push back against me – but gently ok? Don’t force yourself or you’ll tear".

"K", Jesse whispered.

Steve placed his cock against the entrance to Jesse’s ass and pushed – gently at first, then harder, nudging against the tight outer ring. He met nothing but solid resistance, his cock expelled like an unwelcome intruder. He tried again. This time he managed to breach the strong muscle and gained entry – the tip of his cock slipping inside the warm crevice. Steve gasped. Jesse was so incredibly tight that it hurt Steve – badly – his cock felt like it was being crushed. Steve began to pull back out.

"No – don’t", Jesse moaned. "It feels … wonderful", he breathed, pushing back gently.

"Jess I don’t know if I can … it hurts Jess", he admitted. "You’re so tight baby I …".

"Please?" begged Jesse. "Don’t leave me?"

The want – the desire – in Jesse’s voice was enough to tip Steve over the edge. Despite the crushing pain he inched himself into Jesse until finally, eventually, he was buried to the hilt in his young lover’s ass. Steve lay curled against Jesse’s back, breathing heavily. If he moved a fraction he knew he would come and that was the last thing he wanted. He wanted this first time to be perfect for both of them.

"Give me your hand Jess", Steve whispered, taking Jesse’s hand and bringing it round so the young man could feel his cock buried tightly in Jesse’s ass.

"Feel that babe? I’m in you right up to the hilt. And now", Steve withdrew slightly, before sliding back in softly. "I am going to make love to you – slow and strong". Steve pulled his cock out a fraction of an inch before thrusting back in gently. He heard Jesse gasp.

"Good sweetheart?"

"Oh god yes", Jesse groaned. "More – please more", he begged.

"Well since you asked so nicely". Steve pulled himself out and thrust himself in even harder, at the same time reaching round to fist Jesse’s cock in his hand. "I love you Jess. Come for me baby. Come now".

"Oh!" Jesse screamed, bucking back against Steve, driving his ass even harder down on to Steve’s cock.

"Jess", Steve hissed. "Don’t – you’ll hurt yourself".

"Do it – please DO IT", Jesse yelled, thrusting himself against Steve as his cock exploded over Steve’s hands, soaking his belly, the sheets, Steve’s hands, with hot pulsing come.

"Oh JESS", Steve yelled, as Jesse’s rectal muscles clamped down on him and he came so hard he thought his brains were being squeezed out of his ears.

"Oh my GOD", Jesse exclaimed breathlessly. "That was …. Just …. The most amazing ….". His voice caught in his throat and in the next moment he was sobbing helplessly.

"Jesse what’s wrong? Are you hurt?" Steve withdrew as gently as possible, and reaching for some tissues he disposed of the condom deftly before turning his attention back to Jesse. He checked his lover’s puckered ass tenderly – grateful to see there was no damage. So what? Steve cleaned his lover gently and then pulled him into his arms, holding him tight.

"What is it?" he asked softly. "Did I hurt you Jess?"

"No". Jesse shook his head, the tears already drying on his cheeks. "It was just so … wonderful".

"And it gets better with practice", Steve replied, leaning over to kiss Jesse gently on the forehead.

"I was hoping you’d say that", replied Jesse, his voice growing drowsy as sleep claimed him as her own.

"Sleep Jess – I love you babe", Steve whispered, pulling the young man close so that Jesse’s head was resting on his shoulder.

"I love you too", Jesse murmured.

---

"Hey there", Steve greeted his young lover the following day when he called in to the hospital. "Got time for a coffee?"

"Oh I think I could find time", Jesse replied teasingly, just as the doors to the ER crashed open and a voice both Jesse and Steve recognised only too well interrupted their loving reverie.

"Leave me the hell alone. I’m fine godammit. It’s just a little scratch is all", yelled a very drunk and very aggressive Frank Pritchard, as he fought to get off the gurney.

"Sir your head is split wide open – you need to see a doctor", the paramedic informed the truculent man. "Oh hi – Dr. Travis – got a real charmer for you here", the paramedic turned to Jesse gratefully, eager to relinquish his responsibility. "Mr. Pritchard here got into a fight in a bar downtown. His opponent smashed him over the head with a beer bottle".

"Well I’d sure like to shake that guy’s hand", muttered Steve, which remark drew a grin from the paramedic who had been forced to listen to a constant stream of foul mouthed and drunken abuse all the way from the scene of the incident to the hospital.

"Well if it isn’t TTT", sneered Pritchard. "Gonna s . s . stitch me up doc?"

Jesse stood regarding Pritchard impassively for a long moment. Steve took a step towards his lover – worried that the sight and sound of the man had frozen his body as well as his voice.

"Shut up Pritchard", Jesse said coldly, his eyes sweeping over the man dispassionately. "Or I’ll stitch your mouth together. Trauma 1 please", he instructed the nurses. "Sit quietly Frank", he warned as the man started to protest "or so help me god I’ll forget that I took the Hippocratic oath and beat the crap out of you".

The expression on Pritchard’s face was a sight to behold and like most bullies when confronted, he went down like a pricked balloon.

"Nice one doc", the paramedic congratulated Jesse, clapping him on the arm before heading back to the ambulance.

"So", Jesse turned to face Steve. "While the nurses clean up Pritchard, how about that coffee? What?" he asked, noting the expression on Steve’s face.

"Do you realise that you just stood up to the man who made your life hell at med school and you didn’t stammer once?" asked Steve.

Jesse’s face creased into a wide smile.

"I didn’t did I?" The young man’s delight was evident.

"I still think you should stitch his mouth together though", Steve added, slipping an arm around Jesse’s shoulders.

THE END