Whispers

By Huntress

Disclaimer: Yeah sure, they belong to me. And if you believe that, you are in need of some serious help. The psychiatrist is in--5 cents please.

Authors Note 1: I had to give Steve's ex a name, so I used Phyllis. Don't ask me why--the name popped into my head. Apologies to any Phyllis' on the list <G>....I have also made my own assumptions about Steve's past.

Authors Note 2: This takes place during/after an ep in which a med student murders a pregnant nurse, and when Steve and Jesse are going through the nurse's locker, they come across a book titled *Whispers of the Heart*. After Steve reads the title, Jesse smiles at him, and whispers, teasingly, "I love you."

And then this fic happened.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Steve sat in his fathers office, holding the book in his hands. He hadn't even realized he had removed it until he went to wait for Mark.

*I love you.*

Jesse's soft whisper echoed in Steve's head. He focused on the cover, the title. *Whispers of the Heart*....

*I love you.*

Steve was getting hard just thinking about the voice.

*I love you.*

'No, Jess couldn't possibly mean it, it's just his weird sense of humor. I'm sure he doesn't feel the same way I do.' Nevertheless, the echo of Jesse's voice continued.

*I love you.*

'I love you too.' Steve shook his head, trying to clear it. 'I love you.' He heard his inner voice again. "I love you." Aloud this time.

"And who is it that you love?" Mark asked.

"Dad! Don't sneak up on me like that."

"It's Jesse, isn't it?"

"What are you, psychic now?"

"No. Just a wild guess. Which you just confirmed."

"And this doesn't upset you? That I'm in love with Jesse?" Steve began to pace the small room.

"I don't know why you always think I'm going to have a problem with your love life. Just because the last three women you dated got you shot, kidnapped, and beaten up. Not to mention the last man, who turned out to be married. His wife had every right to give you that kick in the...lower extremities. So Steve, I have to say that your love life is total perfection." Mark finished with a triumphant nod, that only a parent could give.

"Then you're saying I shouldn't date Jesse. Dad, you are sending out some mixed signals here. You're the parent, you're supposed to guide your children...so *guide me*!"

"So you're asking for courting advise from the old man, huh? Okay, tell me son," he said in his best doctor voice, "what is it you like about Jesse?"

"Dad get serious here. Please?"

"I meant what I asked Steve. Now why don't you try answering the question."

"Well," Steve took a deep breath. "Jesse is sweet, and kind, and when you give him a compliment, his eyes light up the room."

"Yep, sounds like love to me."

Steve sighed. "He's got the nicest eyes, a perfect nose, and kissable lips...."

"I think you should stop while you're ahead."

Steve grinned. "He makes great barbeque sauce."

"Steve, instead of sitting here mooning, why don't you do something about it."

"Like what?"

"Buy him flowers, take him to dinner, invite him over to spend the night."

"The night. You want me to invite Jesse over to spend the night. O-kay, who are you, and what have you done with my dad?"

"Your dad wants you happy. Lately, the only time you seem *genuinely* happy is when you're with Jesse. Now, make me proud of you, and go after him. I have an idea. Take him back to the house for dinner. He's been taking a cooking course, as you know, and I'm sure he would love to practice. You two could talk about the case. He'd like that."

"And what are you going to do?"

"As of ten minutes ago, I am off duty." A knock on the door. "My date has arrived." He grabbed his coat and opened the door.

"Mark, you ready to go?" Madison Wesley asked. "Hi Steve."

"Hi Madison. And where are you two off to?"

"Oh," Mark said, with a big grin. "To the movies. We're going to a revival. I won't be home until late."

"What revival?"

"Halloween."

"Huh?"

"Halloween," Mark repeated. "Parts 1 and 2. You gotta love that resourceful Jamie Lee Curtis. I treated her for a broken ankle once. Did you know that?"

Steve was staring at them as if they were insane. "You're going to see a slasher film?"

"Yes," Mark said cheerfully. "Good night Steve. Good luck with Jesse." He winked at his son, grinning as Steve turned red.

"Steve and Jesse?" Madison asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll tell you about it on the way."

Steve stood there for a moment, mouth agape, his mind absorbing the last few minutes of conversation. And having a difficult time of it. "My dad and Madison like slasher films. Who woulda thought it?" He shrugged, wondering if he should get them both a psychiatric appointment, then spotted Jesse down the hall. All other thoughts flew right out of his head. "JESS!" The young doctor's smile at seeing him, made Steve's heart skip a beat. "Hey, glad I caught up with you. I was thinking, dad went with Madison to a movie, and I thought, maybe you could come over to the house. Umm, dad said you got some new recipes from that class, and...."

"I sort of flunked the course," Jesse replied. "Not because I couldn't cook, but because I missed too many classes. Rough being a doctor and student."

"That's okay Jess. You still make the best barbeque sauce I ever tasted. Speaking of which, are you ever going to tell me the secret ingredient?"

"Honey."

"Yes, sweet...*honey*?"

"Honey. Simple huh? Old Travis family secret. Honey on everything."

"How about on you?" Steve muttered.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing. I didn't say anything. Just thinking out loud. How about we grab some take-out, and head back to the house for some surfing. I happen to know you are off duty, we have an excellent manager at our restaurant, and we have about three hours of light left."

"I can't. I...uh...I got a date. Sorry, Steve."

"No, that's okay. I understand. Next time I'll give you more notice. I'll see you tomorrow then." He turned around, sighing to himself, feeling like a lovesick fool. 'A *middle-aged* lovesick fool,' he thought, as he turned the corner to the elevators.

"Hey Jesse, ready to go?"

Steve turned around, seeing Jesse talking with a very pretty young woman, who was in one of the tightest dresses he had ever seen, with long legs, and really big...but then he noticed Jesse smiling at her. And that bugged the hell out of him. He watched as Jesse headed into the locker room, waiting for Jesse to come out. He was more then a bit curious as to what Jesse would be wearing, considering the (almost) lack of clothing on his date. "And who the hell is she?"

"Why do you need to know?"

Steve knew he was turning red, as he turned to face Amanda. He quickly regained his composure, in true cop fashion. "Who is she?"

"Jesse's date for the evening," Amanda replied, with a smirk.

"Very funny. Now spill. You're supposed to be my friend."

"Okay, okay. You're just too cute when you get frustrated." He glared at her, but she just smiled back. "Her name is Melissa Johnson, she grew up in Buffalo, and she's doing her residency in Cardiology. And may I ask, *Detective*, why you want to know."

"Kinda hard to explain," Steve started, glancing at his crotch. 'Yeah, real hard.' He met her eyes. "See, I sorta figured out I...I think I love Jesse. No, that came out wrong. I know I love Jesse. But now...."

"You're *in* love with him," Amanda finished for him.

"Am I that obvious?"

Amanda grinned. "To those that know you."

He grinned back, then heard Jesse's voice. He and Amanda peeked around the corner like two little kids.

Amanda raised an eyebrow, muttered, "Oh my," and felt her face turning red.

Steve's mouth nearly dropped to the floor when he saw the young doctor.

Jesse was wearing a *very* tight pair of blue jeans, that looked well worn, in many places. A tight black tee covered his upper body, the words *METALLICA 2000* emblazoned across it, high-top sneakers on his feet. A snug leather jacket completed the outfit.

Steve felt his mouth grow dry at the sight of Jesse in leather.

"Metallica is a rock group," Amanda whispered.

"I'm not that old," Steve told her, his lust suddenly gone. "I know who they are. Not my style though." He turned, going to the elevator. As they waited, he met her eyes. "I'm a *middle-aged* lovesick fool. Pining for someone almost twenty years younger." The elevator doors opened and he got on. "I'm going to go home, and do the middle-aged thing. Sit in front of the TV with a beer, watch football, and waste away."

The doors closed before Amanda could answer him. Steve was heartsick, and feeling sorry for himself. Something she hadn't seen him do in all the years she had known him, even when he was getting divorced. And Jesse was going out with a...she growled to herself. Going to her office, she grabbed her things, heading back for the elevators. Getting into the elevator with Jesse and his date, she smiled, making small talk.

"Well, you two have fun. Have a nice evening Jesse. I'm sure even with this case, Steve will do just fine on his own tomorrow morning." They left the elevator, walking toward their cars.

Jesse stopped, turning around. "I don't understand Amanda. What's tomorrow morning?"

"The monthly health inspector's visit at BBQ Bob's. And I think Steve said something about inventory." She put on her best frown. "Poor Steve. He'll be up half the night working on this case, he'll get up and go face the health inspector...I really don't hope the man, or woman, finds anything wrong. If I know Steve, he'll be in such a foul mood from lack of sleep, that he may threaten to shoot them."

"I don't understand," Melissa said, confused at the conversation. "Does this mean we have to cut our night short?"

"Oh...oh no, not at all," Jesse said quickly. "I won't have to be at BBQ Bob's until at least ten." He pulled her close. "We can have breakfast together."

"You know," Amanda smiled, "I can get a sitter for CJ, and maybe I can help Steve. Mark says I'm a pretty good detective. Can I borrow your laptop? I could probably help Steve that way...."

"No," Jesse sighed, casting a look at Melissa. "I gotta help Steve if I can. Maybe we can go out some other time."

"It's okay Jesse. I'm sure this case is important."

"Yeah, this nurse was murdered, and...."

"I know Jesse, and it's *okay*," she reiterated. "I can take myself out. How about tomorrow night? Sound good?" She gave him a shy grin.

Jesse grinned back. "Yeah, sure. That's good. Thanks for understanding." He turned to go back inside. "I left the laptop in Mark's office."

Left alone, Amanda turned to Melissa. "I just want to let you know, that Jesse is, umm, taken. Whatever you two had planned, trust me when I say it was just friendship."

"Oh really?" Melissa's demeanor changed, as did her tone of voice. "You got a thing for him?"

"No," Amanda shook her head. "He's got a thing with a cop. A jealous cop."

"I can deal with that."

Amanda smirked. "Steve Sloan."

Melissa did a double take. "Steve Sloan? As in hunky son of Mark Sloan? He and Jesse are...."

"Yep. He and Jesse, they've been partners for over a year." Amanda just omitted the fact that it was as business partners.

"I don't believe you."

"Well, here he comes," Amanda said. "Ask him yourself."

As Jesse passed them on the way to his car, Melissa stopped him. "Jesse, is it true that you and Steve have been partners for a year?"

Thinking she was talking about owning BBQ Bob's, Jesse smiled. "Yeah. Well, a little longer then that. Came as quite a shocker to me. I never expected to, you know, have something like that."

"I see." She returned the smile. "Maybe I can get together with you guys some night."

"Sure," Jesse said cheerfully, totally misunderstanding. "Come by any time."

Amanda's eyes widened. This was not going as planned.

"You think Steve will like me? You think he'd want the three of us to...."

The oblivious Jesse thought she was referring to dinner. "Oh yeah. He'd enjoy that. If I know Steve, he's going to insist. He's like that with every woman I date."

Amanda nearly choked...and backed away. "Goodnight. Jesse, go to Steve. He needs you."

After Amanda and Jesse left, Melissa headed out for a night of fun. She really wasn't into threesomes, but Jesse was a good enough guy, and she would keep his secret.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jesse got to the beach house, and knocked for a few minutes, not getting an answer. He finally let himself in with the key Mark had given him. "Steve? Steve, you here?" He sighed. 'Of course he's here you moron. His car is outside.' Not seeing Steve in the main part of the house, he went to the stairs leading down, to Steve's apartment. In three years, and many visits, he had never ventured into this part of the house. He crept downstairs quietly, in case the cop was sleeping, and looked around. A light was on in the small living room, and Jesse was pleasantly surprised at the look of things. He had expected, for some reason, the walls to be plain white, with little or no decorations.

The walls were blue, and posters and stills adorned two entire walls, of almost every bad sci-fi movie imaginable, as well as sketches of various movie monsters. The initials showed they had all been drawn by Steve. 'The man has hidden talents.' The opposite walls held pictures of Mark, Steve, Steve's mother, and one photo of the three with a woman who Jesse assumed to be Steve's sister. (He had never seen a picture of her, as Mark had taken them all down.) There were also pictures of Steve and Amanda, and one photo of the two was pretty old. It was black and white, and Steve was in his army uniform, Amanda a little kid. 'How long has he known her?' He was *very* surprised to see quite a few pictures of himself and Steve on the wall, and a bit shocked to find one of the two of them on the end table. 'Well, he's your best bud, isn't he?' He saw the books, and found that Steve had a penchant for sci-fi, as well as the classics. He noticed something behind the bookcase, and pulled out two sketches.

The first was clearly Jesse, and the young man smiled, honored that his friend had taken the time to draw a picture of him. His eyes wandered down the picture, and widened as he saw the rest. He was naked, with an erection to beat all. 'I'm not *that* big.' He looked at the other one, and his mouth dropped open. He sank to the floor, blinking a few times, positive he was hallucinating.

Steve and him, both of them naked. They were in bed, Jesse atop Steve, riding him, Steve buried balls deep within the doctor. Both men had looks of intense pleasure on their faces.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

The shout made Jesse jump, and he got to his feet, staring into Steve's angry eyes. "I...I came to see if I could help you on the case."

"Get out of here."

Jesse shook his head. "No, I won't. You want to tell me what this..." he swept his arm toward the sketches "...is all about?"

"No, I don't," Steve growled through gritted teeth. "Now get out, before I throw you out."

"I said no." Jesse stood his ground.

Steve walked over. "Then I throw you out." He reached for Jesse, but Jesse ducked under his arm. "Get over here!"

"Uh-uh. Not until you explain them to me."

"If you need me to explain them to you, you need to go back to school."

"Why did you draw them?" Jesse asked.

"None of your business."

"Steve, you drew naked pictures of me. I think it is my business."

Steve looked at the floor. "Please leave." His voice was so soft, Jesse almost didn't hear him.

Jesse nodded. "I'll go Steve. But you can't avoid me forever." He turned to leave, then turned back, a small smile on his face. "Just so you know, I think they're beautiful. Nobody ever took the time to do anything like this for me. Thank you." He left then, fighting the urge to go back.

Steve nearly called him back. He wanted to explain, wanted to say *I love you*, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, he picked up the sketches, and tore them into tiny pieces. Then he sat in the corner, and just stared at them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The case was solved, amazingly, the next day, a medical student charged.

Mark noticed that Steve was very quiet, and hadn't said more to Jesse then necessary. Actually, he realized, Steve had said *nothing* to Jesse. He was going to talk to his son, but Steve left the hospital before he had a chance. His attempt to talk to Jesse went nowhere, as the young doctor immediately returned to his rounds, avoiding everyone.

"Did I miss something?" He asked himself.

"If you didn't, I certainly did," Amanda said, from behind him. "Last night, I sent Jesse to help Steve on this case. Who knew it would be solved so quickly? Anyway, I saw Alex before, and both Jesse and Steve called him, and asked him to deal with the health inspector. They both told him they didn't have the time."

Mark looked perplexed. "I went to talk to Steve last night, and when I got downstairs, I found him in the corner. He didn't even realize I was there. He looked like...Amanda, the last time I saw him like that was when Phyllis left him. He looked like his heart had been torn out, so I left him alone. Something happened between the two of them last night, and I wish I knew what it was."

"Why don't you talk to Steve?" Amanda suggested.

Mark shook his head. "I think, for a change, I'll talk to Jesse."

Mark went to his office first, and heard Jesse's voice inside, realizing Jesse was on the phone.

"Mom, he drew naked pictures of me! No, it doesn't. No, I'm not in love with him. Yeah, okay, I agree. He is buff. Wait a second, you looked at him?!" A pause. "Oh, yeah, I guess he is hard not to look at. Am I sure? No. When I talk to him, I get butterflies in my stomach...three years now." Another pause. "Well, he got my car fixed by a friend of his. It's never sounded better. He brings me a sandwich sometimes when I do a double shift. Come to think of it, he brings them to me even when I'm *not* doing them. Then he hangs around to make sure I eat. I threw one in the fridge once, and he...glowered at me. Just sat there staring until I took it out, sat down, and ate it." Jesse laughed. "He said I wasn't going anywhere until I finished it." Pause. "What else has he done?"

Even though he *knew* it was wrong, Mark stood there, listening. From what he was hearing, Jesse was in love with Steve. 'Fine with me. He's much better then the people Steve usually dates.'

"There was this woman, a nurse, who I dated a few times. She was giving me a hard time after I broke it off. Steve, he told her off. Right in front of me, and half the staff. What? No. I told you I'm *not*...." Pause. "You think I am? What should I do?" Pause. "Yes, I *am* asking for advice in my love life. Talk to *who*? He's Steve's father. Well yeah, he is a nice man. He makes sure I eat too. And that I get enough rest." Pause. "Okay mom. I'll call you later. Mom, I am *not* going to give you details. Yeah. I love you too."

Mark waited a few minutes, then walked into his office. Jesse jumped out of the chair.

"I, uhh, had to make a phone call. My mom. She hasn't been feeling well and I...."

Mark gave him a soft smile. "Jesse, I...I shouldn't have, but I was listening. I apologize."

Jesse sat back down, staring at the floor. "She says I should talk to you. That you're pretty nice and you watch out for me." He brought his eyes up. "Mark, I don't know what to do."

"Do you love him Jesse?"

"I don't know. I've never been in love before. What does it feel like?"

"Butterflies in your stomach is a sure sign." Mark took a deep breath, choosing his next words carefully. "Jesse, I don't know whether or not I should tell you this, but if I don't...Steve loves you."

"Mark, you don't have to say that."

"Yes, I do. He does Jesse, he told me so."

"He does?"

"Jesse, I've been around the block a few times. I've been in love, and I've been in...well, not in love." He chuckled. "What I see, are two men who love each other, but are unsure. Jesse, have you ever...this is a very personal question, and I don't know how to ask it."

"No, I've never had a relationship with a man." Jesse raised an eyebrow at him. "Have you?"

"No. But love is love, no matter what the gender."

"Easy to say, hard to do."

"Tell you what. Why don't you come back to the house with me, and I'll sort of act like a...buffer...between the two of you."

"You're sure?"

"Don't worry Jesse." Mark grinned at him. "I'll protect you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Steve smiled as he saw his father coming in, then frowned as he saw the small figure behind him. "What is *he* doing here?"

"I invited him Steve. Last I looked, this was my home also."

"Fine. You want him here, you can have him."

Mark motioned Jesse into the living room, and stopped Steve from going downstairs. "Look, Steve, you want to talk to Jesse, fine. You don't, that's fine also. He and I are going bowling, and I need my ball. Would you mind getting it for me? It's in the storage closet."

"Yeah, okay dad." Steve went into the closet, turned on the light, and searched for the ball.

Mark then went to the other room. "Jesse, I think you and I should go out for a while, leave Steve to cool off. How about bowling?" Jesse shrugged, then nodded. "Would you mind getting my ball, while I get changed? It's in the hall storage closet."

"Sure thing Mark."

The moment the two of them were inside, Mark closed the door, locking it. "Neither one of you is coming out until you work this out. If you have to stay in there for the next month, then so be it."

"Let me out dad. *NOW*!"

"Nope. In the immortal words of little Stevie Sloan, I won't and you can't make me. So there!"

"I'm claustrophobic!" Jesse shouted.

"Baloney Jesse. You were stuck in the hospital elevator a few months back for four hours, and when you came out, you said you needed more time in there because it was peaceful."

"I have to pee!" Jesse yelled.

Mark laughed to himself. "It's a storage closet Jesse. There's a bucket there. Air freshener too."

"I have my gun dad. I'll just shoot the lock off. Or maybe I'll just play shoot the doctor."

"Now Steve, don't make threats. It's not nice."

"DAD!" "MARK!"

"LET US OUT!!"

"I'm going to go read a book. I'll let you boys out...eventually."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The two men sat on opposite sides of the closet, neither looking at the other.

"This is your fault," Steve finally said.

"Mine? What did I do?"

"I don't know. But it has to be your fault. I sure as hell didn't do anything. DAAAADDDD!!"

"That's right Steve. Yell. Real adult of you."

Steve narrowed his eyes, staring into Jesse's. "And just what were you doing in my room last night? I didn't invite you."

"I came looking for you. It's not like I was spying or anything." Jesse gave him a little smile. "By the way, your Creature From The Black Lagoon sketch is pretty awesome."

Steve returned the smile. "I got to see the 3-D version a few years back."

"The only 3-D I ever saw was Jaws 3...now *that* sucked."

"It was one of my mom's favorite movies. She liked fifties sci-fi stuff. When I was little, she took me to see The Blob. I wanted to be Steve McQueen."

Jesse smiled back. "When I was little, my mom took me to a Fellini festival. I couldn't even read the subtitles."

Steve couldn't help laughing. "Fellini?"

"She thought it would bring culture into my life. All it did was give me a headache." He finally glanced around the small closet, eyes finding a poster on the wall. "The Grateful Dead?"

"My dad always liked them. By the time I was twenty-five, we had gone to more then fifty concerts."

"You too?" Jesse asked, a big grin on his face. "I think the first song I ever learned was Truckin'. It was one of the few things my parents had in common." His face fell. "Probably the only thing."

"Not true," Steve said softly, lifting Jesse's eyes to his. "They had you. And you're not so bad." He brushed his thumb along Jesse's cheek, then quickly sat back again, removing his hand. "Though I would rather have my truck."

"Hey! I said I was sorry about that."

"Yeah, I know Jess. I'm sorry for teasing you. They should pass a law preventing women in teeny bikini's from selling hot dogs." (**See Authors Note at the end of this fic**)

"I'll pay for the damages."

"That's why I have insurance Jess. Although you can pay the difference in my policy." He grinned. "About six hundred dollars a year." Based on the look crossing Jesse's face, and the sound of a soft giggle, Steve decided that teasing the young doctor could be a good thing. He'd never, in three years, heard Jesse laugh like that...and it warmed his heart. Not to mention affecting his lower extremities. "By the way, I saw you asleep in the doctor's lounge last week. You were drooling."

"I don't drool. Kids drool. Adults salivate. And, *by the way*..." Jesse tried to look mean, but failed miserably, "...two months ago, when they brought you in with that bullet in your shoulder, I noticed you wet your pants."

"I didn't wet 'em. I arrested the guy in the middle of a lawn, and the sprinklers came on."

"Yeah, sure Steve," Jesse teased, "whatever you say."

"I did." Steve pouted, and that got a grin from Jesse.

"If that's your story...." Jesse stopped midsentence, staring at the floor. Suddenly, he jumped across the room, landing in Steve's arms, trying to climb the larger man. "Bug. Big bug." He pointed at the floor.

"It's a bug Jess. That's right."

"Well kill it!"

"Okay, okay. But I need you to move first." Jesse shook his head, burying his face in Steve's shoulder. Steve grabbed the broom, and swung, but the bug skittered across the floor towards them. Steve was ready to take another swing at it, but Jesse, at this point, was practically on Steve's shoulders. "Jess, I need some leverage here." Jesse shook his head faster. Steve managed another swing, this time hitting the bug. "There. Bug gone. All smushy. Happy now?"

"I don't like bugs," Jesse mumbled.

"I kind of got that impression. Don't feel too bad. Last week, dad woke me up at three in the morning to kill one in his bathroom. I'm sort of the official exterminator of this house." He felt Jesse relax, and the younger man settled himself in Steve's lap.

"Feels kinda nice," Steve said softly, arms wrapping around Jesse's waist.

"What?"

"Holding you like this." Steve began a slow massage of Jesse's back.

"Feels kinda nice being held." Jesse rested his head on Steve's shoulder, running a finger along Steve's bicep, giving a quick prayer of thanks that Steve was wearing a tee-shirt. The thin cotton did little to hide the muscular arms.

Steve bent his head, whispering, "You're cute when you drool."

"I know you didn't wet your pants." Jesse chewed on his lower lip, and Steve noticed.

"You're nervous. I promise not to shoot you. Not yet, anyway."

"Steve?"

"What?"

"How long have you loved me?"

Steve shrugged, arms holding Jesse a little tighter. "I don't know. Maybe the day I met you. You had the most innocent look. I thought it was just a look, but when I got to know you, I saw it was real. But you like women, so I never made a move."

Jesse pulled his head up. "What makes you think I don't like men?"

Steve did a double-take. "What?" He matched Jesse's grin. "You do?"

"Well no...." Jesse started, watching Steve's grin fade. "I like *you*. I just never thought of us that way. But when you think about it, it seems logical."

"You wanna explain that Mister Spock? 'Cause I lost you somewhere."

"Well, we spend most of our free time together. We work together. We eat dinner together almost every night, whether it's here or at BBQ Bob's. I've met your dad, you've met both my parents. Oh, and you've drawn naked pictures of me, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest." Another thought crossed his mind, and his eyes grew wide. "Oh shit."

"What? What's wrong?"

"I love you."

Steve was confused. "And this is a problem?"

"I'm not sure. I've never been in love before."

"It's okay Jess. We still friends?"

"Steve, you'd have to go out and commit mass murder to stop me from being your friend. And even then, I'd probably hire you an attorney."

Steve leaned his forehead against Jesse's. "I want to kiss you Jess. Can I?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Steve smiled, and placed a soft, chaste kiss on Jesse's lips. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Uh-uh. It was kind of nice."

"Jess," Steve whispered, "how come you didn't go out with Melissa last night? How come you came here instead?"

"Amanda said I needed to help you on the case. She said you needed me. Was she right?"

"Aww, Jess, I always need you. Not just for cases, not just for..." Steve felt his face grow warm. "...physical needs. I need *you*."

"You know, Steve, that's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me. I don't think I've ever been needed for me."

"I mean it babe. Which is not to say I *don't* need you for physical needs." Steve rubbed his crotch against Jesse's. "Feels like you could use me too."

"Steve, being with a man is something new to me. I'm not quite sure what to do."

"Jess, do you love me?"

"Yeah."

"Then everything else will fall into place."

"And what if I couldn't...you know...with you?"

"At my age Jess, physical needs are secondary. They're important, but just being with someone I care about, is *much* more important."

Jesse opened his mouth, ready to say something sensual, something sexy, something seductive. But, being Jesse, what came out was, "I saw the photos on the wall. How long have you known Amanda?"

"Since she was born. Literally. Her mom and mine were best friends, and her mother came to visit, when neither of my parents were here, and decided to go into labor in the house. Me and Carol had to deliver her. Actually, my face was the first one she ever saw."

"How come your dad doesn't have any pictures of your sister? I assumed the blonde girl in the one photo was her. And how come nobody talks about her?"

"You're just loaded with questions, aren't you?" Jesse averted his eyes, but Steve smiled, turning Jesse's face back. "It's okay. I was just teasing. Jess, my sister...Amanda once said it was amazing that Carol and I come from the same parents. Her son lives with her ex-husband and she doesn't see him. She's not allowed to. Please don't ask me why, because it's too painful to talk about."

"I'm sorry," Jesse said.

"That's life," Steve answered.

Jesse quickly changed the subject. "You going to put those sketches of me on your wall?"

"I, uhh, sort of tore them up after you left."

"You can draw another one." Jesse grinned. "I'll even pose for you."

"You would?"

"Naked as the day I was born. Maybe this time you could get my...size...right."

Steve cuffed him upside the head. "The only time I've come close to seeing that part of you, is when you had a bathing suit on. And you always wear trunks. Maybe if you'd wear something tighter, like maybe a Speedo, I would have gotten it right."

"Speedo's can cut off circulation to important parts of the body. I like my parts the way they are."

"*I* wear a Speedo!"

"Yeah," Jesse grinned, "I noticed. And I'd like to get out of this closet."

"You sure you're ready to come out of the closet?" Steve laughed at his double entendre.

"You know, I think I am."

"I can fix that." Steve stared at the door. "DAD! I THINK WE'RE READY TO COME OUT NOW!"

"Now Steve, I said you and Jesse had to work things out, and I meant it," came Mark's voice.

"We did dad. Honest. Can you let us out now?"

The door opened, and Mark peered in. He smiled as he saw the position the two men were in.

Steve stood up, as did Jesse, Steve's hand cupping Jesse's chin, kissing him again. "Yeah," Steve sighed. "Kissable lips."

"Can we go to bed now?" Jesse asked breathlessly.

"You have to eat first," Mark said. "I whipped up a chicken casserole, with lima beans." Steve and Jesse both grimaced. "You don't want to go back into the closet, do you?" Steve and Jesse ran to the dining room, only to find a pizza. "You didn't really think I'd make you eat lima beans, did you?"

"Thanks dad."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, Madison is outside waiting for me. And yes, if neccesary, I would have kept you locked up all night." He smiled at the two men. "We're going to see Friday the 13th, parts 1 and 2. Did you know Kevin Bacon is in part 1? I was on duty the night his wife went into labor. Nice man, but I had to remind him to help his wife with her breathing."

"More slasher films dad? Last night Halloween, tonight....maybe you should think about seeing Doctor Witherspoon."

"Nothing wrong with a movie Steve. There are those who would recommend the same for you, if they knew you cried at Terms Of Endearment."

"You cried at a movie?" Jesse asked, incredulous.

"That scene where Debra Winger dies was pretty emotional." Steve shrugged. "And, *yes*, I like those kind of movies."

Jesse narrowed his eyes. "Ya know, I've known you three years, and had you pegged for a 'blood and guts' kind of guy. We go to *every* action film, and you even made me sit through an all-night showing of all the Lethal Weapon movies."

"Hey, I'm an All-American boy. I like blood and guts as much as the next neanderthal."

"Yeah, well for me, the more blood and bodies, the better." Jesse looked at Mark, smiling. "Friday, Nightmare on Elm Street 1 and 3 are playing at the revival house. Wanna go?"

"You're on," Mark grinned.

"What happened to part 2?" Steve asked.

"Not worth it," Jesse and Mark both answered.

Mark headed out. "Oh, Madison picked up some dessert for the two of you. I don't know what it is, but she said you'd enjoy it. Goodnight boys. Behave yourselves."

The two men sat at the table, side by side, watching each other eat. Each time Jesse swallowed a piece of pizza, washing it down with a swig of beer, Steve dove in for a kiss. By the time Jesse had taken bite number three, his slice was forgotten, and he happily fed off Steve's mouth instead. Plates were pushed aside, Steve pulling Jesse into his lap, the two facing. Jesse's hands were moved to Steve's shoulders, Steve's to Jesse's waist. Clothed cocks rubbing against each other, erections felt most clearly. Steve slid one hand up, along Jesse's back, pulling Jesse's mouth to his. His other arm wrapped around Jesse's waist, holding him still. His body undulating against Jesse's, deepening the kisses, barely giving Jesse a chance to catch a breath. Finally letting go of those soft lips, he took Jesse's hands in his, kissing each palm, and moved them to the top of the chair. He smiled as Jesse got the idea, and held on.

And Steve began to rotate his hips, pressing his cock against Jesse's, feeling Jesse grow harder in his pants. Soft kisses to Jesse's face, to his neck, his lips. He took Jesse's mouth hard, feeling Jesse's body responding to him, moving *with* him...it was enough to send him over the edge, and he felt the wetness in his pants. As the two slowed, Steve glanced down...and saw they were both wet. "You creamed in your jeans for me."

"Only for you Steve."

This declaration, as with anything Jesse would say, was from the heart. So Steve kissed him again. "We need to get changed."

Jesse grinned. "And take a shower."

"I thought you were an innocent virgin?"

"Only with men," Jesse returned the kiss, a little harder.

Steve pushed the chair back, Jesse and Steve both standing. "Let me show you my bedroom." Another kiss, and he took Jesse's hand, leading him downstairs. Once there, he shut the door, leaning Jesse against it. More soft kisses, which quickly became hard and deep. Fingers pulling at shirts. Said shirts flung aside. Bare chests touching, two moans filling the room. Four hands pulling at two pair of pants. Pants tossed aside, followed quickly by underwear. Two sweat slicked bodies falling on the bed, moving as one. Cocks making first contact, two screams of pleasure.

Steve quickly took control, rolling Jesse under him, humping as if his life depended on it. He felt Jesse arch his body, felt the wetness between them. "Ah sweet youth," Steve murmured. Steve slid his hand down, fingers moving through the cream, shifting his hand underneath, teasing Jesse's virgin hole. Fingers wet with cum, sliding in, pulling out, then shoving deep. Again and again, scissoring them, until Jesse was begging for more. His cock slid between Jesse's legs, resting against the tightness, spreading Jesse's seed over his cock. "I want in."

Jesse opened his mouth, but only nodded. By this point, he had lost the power of speech.

Steve pushed Jesse's legs against his chest, meeting Jesse's eyes. He had to see Jesse's face, had to know it was real. "Deep breath baby...and relax." He watching his cock slide in, rotating his hips, feeling Jesse open to him. Steve was pleasantly surprised at how easily he was accepted, how relaxed Jesse was. "You okay babe? Any pain?"

"A little," Jesse whispered, hands rubbing Steve's shoulders. "Nothing I can't handle."

"You're amazing," Steve sighed. The sigh quickly turned into a moan, as Jesse clenched his ass, pulling Steve balls-deep. "Jess, baby, next time warn me, would you?" Jesse did it again, Steve shouting, pounding harder, different angles, looking for that pleasure spot. He knew he'd found up, when Jesse screamed like an animal, and began to writhe and moan like he was in heat. Steve nearly lost his grip, but held tighter, hitting the same spot, body covering Jesse's, lips stealing Jesse's breath again. Returning to his knees, Steve pulled Jesse's legs to his shoulders, biting his inner thighs, hearing more shouts of pleasure, more encouragements. Whispers of "deeper, harder, more...." driving him beyond the edge at this point. He pounded as hard as he could, taking Jesse's cock in his grip, stroking hard, feeling Jesse's hand wrap around his.

"FUCK ME!"

The filthiest of phrases, coming from the lips of his newfound lover, and Steve felt his release within Jesse, Jesse feeling the warmth of Steve's seed within him, sending him over the edge with Steve. Both men continuing to stroke Jesse as Jesse's seed shot over their hands.

Steve felt himself grow soft, gently pulling back, groaning from the loss of tight heat. He slid Jesse's legs from his shoulders, laying beside him. "That was making love."

Jesse placed his hand on Steve's cheek, bringing their lips close. "Thank you," he whispered, before placing the softest of kisses on Steve's lips. He snuggled into Steve's broad chest. "Wanna sleep."

Steve wrapped his arm around Jesse, holding him closer, kissing the top of his head. "Sweet dreams Jess."

"I love you."

"Me too."

It was a while before Steve fell asleep. He was too busy watching Jesse in the moonlight. When he was sure Jesse had fallen into a deep sleep, Steve crept out of bed, leaving the covers turned down. He turned on the bathroom light, glancing at Jesse. Steve sighed as he saw the satiated look, coupled with the innocence that was still there. 'You look like an angel.' He wet a cloth, gently wiping his lover clean, smiling as the exhausted Jesse slept right through it. Steve cleaned himself, tossed the cloth into the bathroom, and got out his sketch pad. This was one of his fantasies that involved the young doctor. To be able to draw Jesse in the flesh, not from some memory. It took him three hours, but he finally finished two sketches.

One sketch was of Jesse laying across the bed, in all his glory. The other was to replace one he had torn up...with a slight variation.

In this one, Steve was riding Jesse.

Steve awoke to the body covering his, and smiled. Now this was bliss, waking up, and seeing Jesse's face. A light kiss to Jesse's forehead, and he got out of bed. "Go back to sleep Jess. There's no need for you to get up yet." Pulling on his sweatpants, he smiled, seeing the sketches he had made the night before. He then looked at the figure on the bed. "No comparison." He went upstairs, walking toward the kitchen, passing Madison, who was carrying a tray of food, and wearing his father's favorite shirt.

"Good morning Steve," she said cheerfully.

"Morning Madison," Steve answered simply. He walked into the kitchen, then did a complete u-turn. "Madison? What are you doing here? And why are you in my dad's shirt?"

She grinned at him, as she looked over his shoulder. "Probably for the same reason that Jesse is wearing an LAPD shirt. Good morning, Jesse." She patted Steve on the cheek. "Think about it. I'm sure stupid men do *not* make Lieutenant." She turned, and went straight to Mark's room.

"She slept with my dad," Steve mumbled.

"And you slept with me," Jesse smiled, wrapping his arms around Steve. "Good morning, lover."

"She slept with my dad. *My* dad." Steve was wide-eyed.

Jesse moved out of his arms, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Your dad and Dr. Wesley, doing the wild thing. Pretty cool."

"My dad does *not* do the 'wild thing'."

"Yes, I do Steve." Mark's voice made Steve jump. "Well, it *has* been quite a while for me. And before you say anything else, Madison and I have been dating for almost six months. You were the one who kept encouraging me to go out with her. She's a special lady." He went into the kitchen, coming out with the tabasco. "Nice and hot and spicy." He nodded to Steve, who was blushing, and grinned at him. "That's how I like my eggs." He went back to his room.

"I thought they were just friends. You know, going out as buddies...." Steve looked like a little boy lost.

"Geez Steve, calm down. You're acting like your dad was involved in an orgy. She's a nice lady. I think he's pretty lucky. Just like me."

Steve nodded, pulling Jesse back into his arms. "You're right. She is a nice lady. And I guess I should be thankful. He could have gotten involved with Nurse Battleaxe in ICU."

"You mean Nurse Bittlebaum."

"Bittlebaum, Battleaxe, same thing. Now that woman is scary. *She* would put Freddy Krueger to shame."

"How about I make you eggs?" Jesse smiled up at him. "Sunny-side up. Right?"

"How do you know how I like my eggs?"

"I pay attention." Jesse dragged him into the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later, Steve and Jesse were out of the kitchen, Steve carrying Jesse, lips firmly locked together. Steve broke the kiss, panting, "Now why did you say that?"

"I only said that whipped cream isn't as good as your cream."

"Jess...."

"I love being your bottom."

"*Jess*...." Steve carried him down the stairs.

Jesse chose his next words *very* carefully. "Suck my dick."

Steve nearly lost his footing, thankful when they reached the last step. "Jess, don't say things like that when I'm on the stairs." He put Jesse down, his pants were yanked off and flung aside, as was Jesse's shirt and underwear. He nuzzled Jesse's neck, taking Jesse's hand, sucking on each finger, finishing with a lick to the palm, making Jesse moan. Dropping to his knees, he pulled Jesse's underwear down, licking his lips. He swallowed Jesse in one movement, Jesse bracing his hands on Steve's shoulders. He sucked hard, leaving trails of saliva along the length, slicking Jesse's cock. Steve pulled away, dragging Jesse to the bedroom, pushing him flat on the bed. He crawled between Jesse's legs, resuming the mind-numbing blow-job.

Jesse was losing his mind. Each time he felt his orgasm, Steve knew too, and stopped sucking, bringing him back from the edge. Once he was calm, Steve went on with the blow-job. Jesse finally gave up, and lay back, closing his eyes, blocking out everything but that wet mouth, which was bringing him to Nirvana.

Steve glanced up at his lover, teasing the tip of Jesse's cock with his tongue. He wet two fingers, reaching back, teasing his own opening. His mouth returned full force to Jesse's cock, as his fingers pushed their way deeply inside himself. Covering Jesse's body with his own, he kissed Jesse deep, slowly shifting to his knees. Reaching behind himself, he held Jesse's cock steady. "Wanna ride you." He positioned his ass above Jesse's hardened shaft, slowly sinking down, biting his lower lip to stave off the pain.

Jesse watched Steve with widened eyes, honored, and more then a bit surprised that Steve would bottom at all, let alone so soon. He smiled up at the cop, grabbing Steve's ass, kneading the cheeks, spreading Steve, allowing the bigger man to impale himself. Jesse was soon beyond Nirvana...he was in total ecstasy.

Steve was teetering between pain and pleasure, rocking back and forth, easing his body down. Finally filled with Jesse's impressive cock, he closed his eyes, and just let himself feel. The pain slowly left him, the pleasure taking over. "Ohh...so good...mmm...." He clenched his ass hard, as Jesse had done to him. "Never knew it felt this way...ahhh...." He lifted himself halfway up, and, mindful of Jesse's smaller stature, slowly sat back down, undulating his hips, hearing the moans from beneath him...and one whispered word.

"Never?"

Steve began to grind his ass atop Jesse's cock, reaching back to stroke Jesse's balls. "Never bottomed before...ahhhh...never felt that safe with anyone...." Steve wrapped his hand around his cock, jerking himself off. "You're a doctor and I knew you'd take good care of me."

"I'll always take care of you Steve." Jesse emphasized this by pulling Steve's hand from his cock, replacing it with own. He jerked Steve hard, his other hand caressing Steve's ass. His own body was responding now, meeting Steve's movements.

"Oh God Jess!! So hard...so deep inside me...." Steve shifted, Jesse hitting his prostate, and he shot all over Jesse's hand and chest. Jesse responded in kind, filling Steve with his seed. Steve leaned down, kissing Jesse, slowly shifting his body off Jesse. He was sore, but happy, and collapsed on his back, smiling at his lover, who looked like he was in shock. "Jess, you okay?"

Jesse gave him a dopey grin. "Never better."

Steve got up, getting the sketches. He showed Jesse the first, of Jesse alone. "It doesn't do you justice."

"At least you got my...size...right this time."

"Then I did this one."

Jesse shook his head. "Nope. Sorry Steve."

Steve looked hurt. "What's wrong with it?"

"It, umm...it doesn't do *you* justice. That smile on your face, uh-uh. You were much more passionate in reality."

"Passionate, huh? I'll have to take your word for it Jess. I can't watch myself while I make love."

"Sure you could."

"Jess, looking in a mirror would be kinky, I gotta admit, but then I couldn't concentrate all my attentions on your beautiful body."

"Keep up with the compliments Steve, and I'll do anything for you." He paused, a sly grin coming to his face. "Hey, if you want to see yourself, we could...I dunno...make a movie."

"You want to make a porno flick Jess?"

"Not porn, Steve. Just you and me making love."

"Let me think about it."

Jesse smiled, Steve smiled, and a moment later, neither one of them was doing much thinking.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Epilogue, one week later:

"I told him. Yes, mom, I did." Jesse glared at Steve, who was laying beside him, kissing his way down Jesse's stomach. "Yeah, mom, he loves me." He got a grin from Steve, who was now kissing the tip of his cock. "No I'm not living in my apartment anymore. I moved in with Steve yesterday." He shifted out from under Steve, shaking his head, but all he got was a leer. "No, I don't want to tell you."

Steve grabbed the phone. "Hello Catherine. Yes, he's fine. I agree. That apartment wasn't good enough for him." He ignored Jesse, who was trying to snatch the phone. "Don't worry, I'll take real good care of him." Pause. "No, I don't think he needs to sleep with his stuffed bunny anymore. I did agree to let him keep it in the room though. He says it keeps the closet monster away." Another pause and a huge grin. "Sure, I'd like that. Thanks. Yeah, I'll tell him." Steve put the phone down. "She said to tell you she loves you, and she loves me for loving you, and taking care of you."

"What else?" Jesse asked, laying back on the bed.

Steve knelt between his legs. "She wants me to call her 'mom'."

Jesse met Steve's smile. "Anything else?"

"I want to suck your cock."

"And after?" Jesse asked.

"Fuck you silly."

"Can I ride you this time?"

"Babe, you can ride me any time...."

FIN

Authors Note 3: FYI, strange but true, there was a law passed here in South Florida a few years back, preventing women in bikini's from running roadside hot-dog carts...they were causing too many accidents.