First things first: Holy SHIT, THIS STORY IS SO WORDY. This doesn't sound like slash, but more like my doctoral dissertation. The story is Shakespearean in tone and sentence structure, and I find myself having to go back over a few sentences to catch everything that the author is trying to say. My eyes go glassy during the first four paragraphs, and I actually found myself skipping sentences to get to the real meat of this story.

Have a thesaurus on-hand if you plan on reading this one. No one says words like "divan" or "diminuative" or "revivified" in their daily life, and I do believe that the key to writing an effective 1st person story is if you can't imagine saying these words yourself, then chances are that you shouldn't write your characters saying it. People don't walk around speaking in iambic pentameter any more, folks.

But past all of that, I think that this story is actually pretty good. I've seen stories like this in the past, where one person (in this case, Lance) is in love with someone who is an extreme closet case (Justin), and Skizo shows us a man here who is rather well put together for someone so torn up over something like this. Her diction is the main thing holding her back here, and if not for the horrid overruse of Roget's Thesaurus (and I'm thinking they just might take her to court for plagiarism because of this story), I'd definitely give this story a better review.

CABS grade: 4/10