Te is one of those demi-celebrities in the Buffy and Angel fanfic world, and while the work of demi-celebrities is not always solid as much as it is hyped, there's very little to complain about with this story. (The same could be said for all of Te's stories, actually.)
I should mention that the pairing of Angel and Xander has never done much for me. That's a personal bias. I prefer it to be Angel/Spike or I'll take my toys and go home. But I went to Te's web site and picked a story at random, and "Plastic" is where I landed. Much of my personal bias toward the Xander/Angel pairing has to do with a) the fact that Angel was so caught up in Buffy when he was on her show that I doubt he had time to do anyone else, and b) the fact that Angel had heavy shit to worry about (what with going evil and all) and Xander was, to quote Dracula, "strange and off-putting." However, since Angel got his own show, he has gotten sillier and Xander has gotten more serious. This story takes place after Angel left Buffy, so it was interesting to watch the two characters kind of meet in the middle. The pairing seems plausible and natural here in a way that it wouldn't had Angel not exposed us to the vampire singing karaoke.
The premise is pretty basic. Xander is restless in Sunnydale, in the way that Xander is always restless, and figures he'll take a road trip. During this drive we learn that he has always had a bit of a plastic fetish. He found Willow's Barbie dolls strangely arousing, and was always fascinated by Ken's lack of genitalia. To quote the story, "All the little shoes!" The story, by the way, does not make this as disturbing as it sounds. It delves a little into Xander's self image, and how he feels about everyone thinking he's a dolt, but it doesn't venture very far into heavy self reflection. It could have, but it didn't, which is an indicator that Te was just out for a good time with this.
Xander finds himself parked in front of Angel Investigations. He walks in to find Angel wearing only a towel. Angel spins around to look at him and the towel falls. A cute conversation ensues about how Angel is naked.
That snippet of conversation is probably the best way to summarize this story. It's silly, it'll make you smirk and it's kind of disjointed in a fun way, much like Xander himself. Te's stories probably have some of the best internal Xander thoughts that I've ever read."You know..."
"Hmmm...?"
"You'd probably be a lot more comfortable if you were naked, too."
"That doesn't sound quite right..."
"Of course not, it's like the word suspicious."
"OK... what?"
"It looks strange when you write it down. Wrong. Doesn't look like it should be spelled that way, but it is."
"So I should get naked."
"Definitely. Here, I'll help."
Another sample of it:
It went on long enough for Xander to remember he wasn't gay, but by then the point really was moot.
Xander was just going to steal the next 'Caution: Slow Children' sign he found and staple it to his forehead. It would clearly be for the best.
Of course, there are minor things I'd change if I was queen of the universe, like putting the above-mentioned "suspicious" in single quotation marks. "Xander swallowed the other man's cry and felt his happy, happy dick start getting interested again" could have easily been fewer words with "felt his happy, happy dick get interested again." When Xander comes, he says "Thank you, *GOD*!" which I thought was a little too much emphasis. But these are all personal preferences, and you're not all out there struggling to write a story that makes it into the Jane Doe Perfection Manual.
I know Te has heavier stories, and that this isn't meant to be one of them. It's meant to be fun, and it is. So there are few comments from this peanut gallery.
CABS grade: B