Three Hits

Fandom: The X-Files

Category/Rated: Rated NC17 for violence and male/male sex. You need to be warned that this is a naughty story.

Year/Length: 1997/~7400 words

Pairing: Mulder/Krycek

Disclaimer: Still not mine. I want them. Want them bad!

Author's Notes: Dedicated to Kate Abell wherever she may be, and the ladies of the Duchovniks on-line virtual shaving association. There are two songs, "Three Hits" is by the Indigo Girls, and the other snippet is from "Duel", by Propaganda. The lyrics are reproduced without permission. Inspired by Frankie, who forgot to get out the razor.

Beta: Thank you to Ruth, Orithain and Endymion for the emergency beta

Three hits to the heart son
And it's poetry in motion

If I stand here, I know I'm gonna see him.

In a couple of minutes he's going to run right past me, the way he does every morning. I settle down to wait. I know that I'm stupid. I know that it can never be the way it was between us once, but I still love him. This is why I crouch here in the shrubbery just to see the man I loved and then betrayed run by on his daily five-mile homage to the great God of Fitness.

I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm just a used-to-be man living his miserable half-life until the day dawns when they finally catch up with me and I won't need to run any more.

Looking down the hill I can see him in the distance. He's coming. Long legs pumping. He usually puts on a spurt around the end of the block. I know he's gonna stop at the water fountain just to the right of the public conveniences over there and take a long drink before he runs on into his life and out of mine for another day, because that's what he always does.

He's wearing his sweat pants today, but his shirt is tied around his waist by the arms, and he's just got his tank top on. I can see the play of muscles in his chest as his arms work, and dry mouthed I admire the sheen of sweat on skin as he approaches.

He's lean, unconscious of his beauty as he works his body. I am conscious of it for him, and I can only stand in my shadows and burn for all the might-have- beens I've lost.

Fox Mulder, I was never going to hurt you. Not you. My heart still beats in my chest, but the pulse of it sings for you, not for me. I had to do it Fox. I had to! I didn't want to. You would have been dead and I'd have lost you forever if I hadn't delayed you up there on the mountain.

Sometimes I think it would have been better to see you dead and buried than to watch you every day like this, knowing that you aren't for me. Knowing that you never will be again.

There was a time when you and I were friends... first buddies, then lovers. It was you who taught me to love, I hadn't ever seen the need before, but you showed me. You helped me learn about researching the mind, gathering evidence on the run, and the seductive charm of a carefully crafted theory. You taught me to believe in you when you showed me how to enjoy the thrill of making a connection the rest of the world has missed. You taught me to want you more than my sanity. The feel of you was always like water on my parched throat, now I'm thirsty forever. You taught me to love you best, and then you hated me. I guess I earned it, but I wish I could go back and do it over.

You're drinking from the fountain, sweat in your hair which is standing up in spiky tufts. Your face is flushed from your exercise. I see you taking handfuls of the water and pouring it over your face and neck. Let me be cool air for your neck, Fox, let me hold you close and repair the places that were torn. I'm drinking the sight of you with my eyes, gulping you down because you're so beautiful. I remember the feel of your lips on my skin and the tears try to start, springing unbidden and unwelcome. They cloud my vision and I hate my weakness. I won't cry. I won't. I've never cried. If my eyes are bright, it's because I see you.

It's all over for another morning. You're turning back onto the path. I know that you'll sprint for the first hundred yards before you settle down into your long easy stride, the one that will carry you back to the reality of your world, away from this place where I am condemned to be your stalker, to wait and watch.

One could send you down the river
Three's a strange way to be delivered.

I've lost sight of you at last, as you round the building to continue your circuit. My heart lies heavy as I replay you in my mind. Always running, Fox, always running. What will we do when our time finally runs out?

I turn up the collar of my jacket, put my hands in my pocket, and turn to leave.

Smack! I see stars! What happened? My head's ringing and I shake it to try and clear my perception. I really don't know what's going on. There's pain in my back. My face is pressed into the rough bark of a tree. Oh, God, It's Mulder. He saw me watching him, he must have done.

I know how these meetings go. He'll hit me, beat me. He'll try to eradicate all traces of the man he loved. He did love me; I know it. I can take the pain, and no, I won't hit back, because deep in my soul I know I deserve nothing better, besides, negative attention is better than no attention at all.

Fox, I love you so much.

My head is smashed into the tree again and once more I see stars.

"Mulder, you're gonna kill me if you do that again, and if I die, you'll never know the truth." I'm clutching at straws. He won't stop. He never does.

"Krycek! Why are you creeping around here? What do you want?" I squirm around to look at my tormentor, and I don't regret it. He's let his hair grow a little. It's flopping down over his sweatband. His hazel eyes are flashing and his body is taut with rage. He looks gorgeous.

I'm thinking about how I can stop him punishing me any more. True I humiliated him the last time we met. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed him. Maybe I should have kissed him more thoroughly. I don't know. I do know that he hasn't forgiven me.

"I came to give you some information Mulder. You won't get it unless you play nice." I'm gasping a little. Firstly because he has me by the throat, his hand twisting in the neck of my shirt, secondly because he's pressing himself up against me to keep me from getting away. I can smell the sweet, new sweat on him and it's making me dizzy with desire.

"Why should I trust you, Krycek?" He's calming down now, and he eases off my collar. I could kill him you know, except that then I would have no reason to go on living myself. Oh, Fox, Fox! If only you knew how easily I could kill you. Then you'd know you could trust me.

Hell, you can trust me with your life. Don't you know how many times I've saved it already? I don't say this out loud of course, I know I'm not a psychologist, but I do know that there is a time for tact. This is me...Mr. Tactful himself. I content myself by saying only, "When did I ever mislead you Mulder?" No, don't answer that! You know what I mean! You can trust me because I love you. I won't ever harm you.

He doesn't have a weapon with him. I know it. Even Fox Mulder, paranoid special agent, doesn't go out running carrying all his hardware. I could kill him right now, any one of five different ways. Instead I meekly allow him to drag me where he wills.

"For fuck's sake you asshole, I came to you. Why would I show myself and then just vanish? Don't be such a moron. Think it through for Christ's sake! Mulder, we need to talk. I have some information that you are going to need very soon. We should go somewhere quiet and discuss it." I'm feeling out the back of my head, checking for damage, and there's blood. My shirt is going to be toast by the time I get it home. Blood just doesn't wash out. I don't care what they say.

"Why don't we go to your place? Run on home. I'll be waiting for you when you get there.... Unless you want a ride in my car?" I grin when I say this and his fist balls up ready to strike. Maybe I should lay off the witticisms.

"Let's go, Krycek. Give me your keys. I'm not taking the chance that you're going to disappear on me."

He's hooked. He'll come with me. I'm suddenly happy.

"Oh no you don't. You can walk if you want to, but you don't drive my car. It's new. Come on if you're coming! I'd also like to remind you that I do actually have a gun on me and while we've been standing here wasting time I could have killed you any time I wanted." I'm not going to tell him I want him to come with me. I'm just going to take what I can get as usual. I make a casual gesture with my head and start to move towards my car.

Three hits to the heart son,
Poetry in motion

The punch to my solar plexus comes without warning. I fold gracefully and hug the ground, searching for the breath he's stolen. The pain is a ragged suit I wear covering me completely, stripping me of my dignity as I vomit at his feet.

"Get up, Krycek! Come on! You can beat me with one hand, remember?" I glare at him with dull eyes, all my love submerged in the hurt of lying here at his feet like a supplicant. How can I forget? The memory of that day is burnt into my heart and it cuts me now with a little blade that is far more painful than the punch he gave me. I rise up as soon as I'm able, and get to my knees.

Kneeling there in front of him, I'm still, a penitent. He studies me and I wince under his gaze. Then with casual violence he slams his fist into my chest. This time he misses the vital spot and it doesn't hurt so badly, but still I go flying to sprawl in the dirt, useless prosthetic flopping because I can't break my fall.

Let me die now. Please let me die while he's here. Let him kill me now and complete our sad cycle of love, betrayal and death. Let me die with all the love I've ever known here in front of me bursting like a cyst to shed its poison.

I love you, Fox.

Are you leveed like a treasure?
Only words can help me find you

"I love you Fox." I'm lying in the dirt. He's reaching forward to grab my hair and haul me up, but my body really doesn't feel like moving. There is a pause, a tiny pause measured only by the beating of my heart. He's looking at me, and I'm wondering why it is that, when everything in my whole world has turned to shit, I'm trying to make things worse.

He doesn't answer me but there is a certain look on his face. I've never seen it before and I thought I knew all his expressions.

"I came to you because I want to help you. I've always wanted to help you. I love you." I'm sitting now, sprawled in the dirt and I must look a sight. My clothes were worn to begin with but now they're grubby too and there's blood on them from half a dozen cuts and scratches. My nose is bleeding and there's bark in my hair.

"Ha! This bark is not by any means worse than your bite." I mutter to myself. He hears me and grabs my hair, forcing my gaze up to his. Our eyes lock and for a second there's communication between us. All the feelings I have for him pour out in a direct line from my heart to his. I'm looking for the disgust he must surely feel for my confession, but I don't see it. I don't know what it is that I do see.

Slowly he releases my hair, appearing shaken. What are we doing here? I can't help you, darling. All I know is that we're bound to act out every last act in our little tragedy, and then the gods will destroy us.

And this worlds a fickle measure
I would painfully remind you,

Wordlessly now he turns away and I finally am able to get to my feet. I start out towards the lot where my car's parked and he follows me. We don't speak. I can't think why that might be.

Opening the driver's side, I clamber in painfully, then I flip the switch for him. He pulls the door open, sitting in the seat beside me and folding his arms. He's put his sweatshirt on again and taken off the band from around his head. I steal a look at his profile. My belly lurches as I see anew the strong chin, the long nose and the sensitive mouth. His lips are only a couple of feet away now and I want to grab him and kiss those lips again.

"What are you waiting for, Krycek?" the voice is a monotone, and I sense rather than hear all the carefully contained anger. People tell me that suppressing emotion leads to cancer and stomach ulcers. Baby, you are going to get so sick!

Sighing, I start the car. I don't need directions. I've been here before, and I remember how everything used to be before the world changed.

I pull in and turn off the engine. He's still quiet, making me want to scream or yell--do anything to break the silence. We get out of the car and I follow him into the building.

"Abandon hope all ye who enter here!" I don't think I've had any hope for some time now even though I can remember back to the days when I came here knowing that my lover would be waiting. I remember how that felt. I just don't know how to get that feeling back again.

He opens the door to his apartment and stands aside with exquisite courtesy to allow me in first. I enter flinching, waiting for the blow he's sure to deal out. How well I know him! For once I am surprised though not disappointed. Alex's head is destined to stay on its shoulders for just a little while longer. I sit on his couch. I look up at him and I wait. This is all I have to do now for the rest of my life. I am content.

"OK Krycek, what do you have for me?"

He's still not looking at me and somehow I feel more hurt and rejected by this than by the blows he has dealt me. I turn to face him, seeing him wince as I try to capture his gaze.

"My employer is dead, Mulder, but before he died, he gave me certain files and information, and told me to do what I thought best with them. I want you to have them Mulder." He's still avoiding eye contact. He doesn't respond for so long that I wonder if he's still in there or if he maybe went away leaving only the shell.

I take a key from my pocket holding it out to him. "It's all there, Mulder. Everything you've been fighting for. All the information you could possibly need. He left the whole thing to me, and now I'm giving it to you." I try to smile and my eyes try to fill with tears. I force them back. I will not cry! I'm debased enough. I won't give him that.

He gets up and strides back and forth in his small living room. He's still away somewhere wrestling with his thoughts. Twice he makes as if to speak, then resumes his measured pacing. I wait.

At last there is a sigh. He turns to me. I'm sweating now, wondering how things are going to progress. I pull back my hand and wait. He's coming to me.

"You lied to me. You lied and then you left me. What was I supposed to do? You didn't call." His non sequitur astonishes me. For a moment I can't process the words I am hearing, then it dawns on me that he's talking about us, the way that we were. My heart hammers painfully inside my chest. I'm sure he must be able to hear it.

"I had to leave you. I didn't want to. Since then I've been here whenever I could be. I've been watching you for a long time now"

My voice takes a little while to get started. I'm sure that now he's going to start in with his fists flying.

From a wise man to a red hand
You lay covered in our best sins

"They recruited me from Quantico when I was in the final week of my training. A man we both know came to see me and asked me if I would take on a mission that had a direct bearing on national security. He promised that I would be fast- tracked if I performed well. I was ambitious, you know? It seemed to be a good way of getting ahead, so I agreed."

"I didn't think I would get so involved in you. I didn't know I was going to fall for you the way I did. Nobody told me that I'd fall in love with you. You were irresistible. Now I'm lost and I never had a chance. After I'd done what they asked me to do, they cut me loose. No fast track! No thanks! No help! They tried to kill me more than once. I was outside the loop, with only myself to rely on. I could have gone off looking for a new life in Brazil or one of those places, but then I'd never see you again. You'd be in danger, and maybe killed and I'd never know. I couldn't do it Fox. I love you."

Might as well get it all out now. I can breathe easier now I'm talking about it. He's pacing again and his body sends signals to me as I watch. I want to maul him. I want to grab him hard and bite his lips, kiss him until he bruises and shove myself into him so violently that he'll scream my name. I can't think of being tender. He's hurt me too much, but God, I want him. That's all I know.

Time passes and I feel the weight of his pain. He'll decide soon, and my sentence will be clear at last. I betrayed him. I know it. I betrayed him before ever I knew him and his blood was on my hands from the start. I have no excuses. I'm just sitting, watching him pace. Seeing the carefully molded lips twist, and the hazel eyes turn cold, rips something apart in me. I won't bear these scars any more. Decision time, Krycek, you've always been good at making decisions. Let's go!

Pushing myself to my feet, I move to intercept him on his latest circuit. I stand in his way and he finally comes to a standstill, facing me. His face is a mask of pain. Lost in love for him, I put up my hand to touch his face with my forefinger. He jumps but allows me to trace his cheek. His expression doesn't change, but his breathing turns ragged. Tension builds and I remove my hand. It is, after all, the only one I have!

We stand face to face, locked in a stasis of anguish. I want to break away before something terrible happens, but I can't. I can smell him, feel his warmth, see the play of warring emotions that cloud his features.

The hell with this! I'll die now, or love him. I step in the remaining couple of feet and snake my hand around the back of his neck. Leaning my head forward, I capture his mouth with mine. I'm not trying for a deep kiss, just a contact. My breath becomes short as I suddenly realize the enormity of what I'm doing. This is Fox Mulder I'm kissing, and he has no reason to love me.

I'm kissing him, for real, not a dream any more. Half of me is waiting for him to hit me again, and of course when he does, I'll take it, welcome it as I usually do. My lips tingle as they slip over his mouth, feeling the shape of his lips beneath them. I apply some pressure - just enough to tease them apart, so that I can slide my tongue out and taste him. He opens his mouth just a little and my stomach lurches. Every day of my last four years, Fox, I have waited, dreamed of this. If you never give me anything ever again, I'll have this from you now. I sigh, and go for broke. My tongue slips into his mouth as if it's returning to harbor after a long voyage. I find his tongue and run mine along it, caressing it and tasting the essence of him. I turn my mouth on his to get closer, and he sighs. I'm going to die. I want him so much I'm shivering, but I dare not go too far, too fast. This is my heaven right here.

well I dream you constant stranger
with your best bloods and your anger

My hand, which has been holding his head steady, slides down his shoulder, to push its way under his arm, and I pull him to me, gently, very gently. He's passive in my arms and I run my hand up and down the length of his back, stroking and gentling him the way I would a timid animal. My lips stay on his, and I can feel his tongue slowly moving to slide over mine. I put my soul into that kiss. Fox, if you believe anything about me, please believe my kiss. The truth is in here, and I want to share it with you!

I moan and feel him pulling away from me. It hurts to let him take his mouth from mine, but everything comes to an end, and I'll never forget this kiss. I feel renewed.

I smile softly and kiss his chin as we pull apart, gently running my tongue over stubble that rasps it. I don't know what to say to him, so I murmur "Thank you!" and leave it at that. He remains captive within my arm, not attempting to pull away from me. My belly is heavy with wanting him. My cock is so hard that it hurts me. I'm trying not to buck my hips into him, and although I'm keeping control at the present, I'm trembling with the need to fuck him.

His eyes, which were almost closed, fly open as I speak, and he shakes his head from side to side. Still without any words his hands rise to my shoulders. I grit my teeth and steel myself for what will surely follow. His fingers grip me, digging into my shoulders and making me gasp. Slowly, as his grasp tightens on me, he leans in and returns my kiss. His mouth is hot, wet and bruising, forcing my response. My heart jumps, I get a surge of arousal that makes my knees buckle, and all of a sudden his arms are around me, pulling me against his body. I can feel his erection pressing into me through his sweats, and I cup his butt with my hand, pulling him hard into me. I put everything I have into that kiss.

you say mother would you claim me
my beloved do you blame me

For a while all I can do is hang onto him while he kisses me. We're fused, moaning into each other's mouths, crackling with the static generated by our desire. I want him, but I'm content to spend the rest of eternity sucking on his mouth, drawing the breath from his lungs and the forgiveness from his soul. He holds me tightly, I'm enclosed in him, my tongue invading his mouth, and the length of me is pressed up against him as I try to make the two of us back into one. My hand delves under his clothing to find his smooth skin, and I'm feeling for his spine, moving down into the groove between the cheeks of his ass, working my fingers into the soft circle of muscle there and gently pressing. I can still remember where he likes to be touched even though it happened so long ago.

Finally, he pulls away again. He's in control of this embrace and I want him to be. He looks into my eyes and I'm dazed as I look back. It's been so long since I started to be alone. I need to remember this forever. I won't be so careless with my memories this time.

I place a row of tiny kisses across his cheek, along his jaw and into the curve of his neck. He throws his head back and I suck on the angle where his throat joins his shoulder. I feel as if we're moving through water. Time has slowed down and there is only Fox. We're drifting together down into a place where we can finally make our peace.

well the first two might release you
but the last one sings in me son

The hands return to my shoulders, more gently this time and press the angle of my jaw, forcing my face up to him. He's not much taller than I am, and usually it doesn't make any difference, but somehow this morning he's leaning over me. I'm his, and he can shape me in whatever way he wants. Kiss me or cut me, fuck me or damn me, I'm yours love of mine, I'm yours.

He brings that mouth of his down towards mine again, but stops short, lips just touching, faintly touching mine. I'm straining upwards to try and hurry the contact, and at last he smiles.

"Anyone would think you were in a hurry, Krycek. Where are you going? Don't you have time to chat?" He grinds his pelvis into my groin, yanking me back to my teenage years, parking in the dark and dry-humping a succession of teenage girls, all identically blonde, with huge white teeth and girly voices. This is so much more exciting.

"God Mulder, this is one conversation I wouldn't miss for the world. Do you want to take it to the couch?" I gesture with my head. The rest of me is plastered up against his skin, really not wanting to move.

Mulder doesn't say anything right now, he just turns me a little against his body and leads me like a child, through the door into his bedroom. I look down at my clothes. They are dirty and grass stained. I don't want to make his bed filthy.

"I'm so dirty, baby. I don't want to get your sheets all messed up." He shakes his head at me, his fingers busily engaged in first removing my jacket and then pulling off my T-shirt.

"I haven't slept there since the last time we were together, Alex. I thought I never would again." His hands are roaming across my chest, pausing to pinch at my nipples, sending yet another hot, wild flash of sensation through my belly to the end of my prick. I gasp and quiver, unable to do anything except hang on and pray.

"Are you planning on sleeping then? When would that be?" At that, he chuckles, and I'm so close to coming right there, in my pants, that I have to think of something neutral, not easy when he's so close to me, smiling that smile, the slightly asymmetric one that lights up his eyes. Those eyes of his have gone very dark. Looking at him gives me approximately the same feeling in my stomach as if I'd just swallowed a bug.

"I'm not going to sleep at all. I'm going to use you up, Alex. You owe me four years of screaming. I'm going to collect some of that right now." Again the creature in my belly jitters its legs. It's not a bug. It's a bird or something. I can feel it fluttering, its feathers brushing the inside of my abdomen. Is it getting hot in here? I swallow, my throat is suddenly very dry, and there's a lump that won't go down.

"Alex, it's payback time." I open my mouth to speak, but my voice seems to have gone somewhere else. I close it again, and just gaze at the solid reality of the man before me. He's the only person in my whole life I ever cared about. I hurt him badly, and now I don't know what he's going to do to me. I nod, mutely, and his little smile broadens. He tugs my hand, pulling me with him to the bathroom.

Once in the bathroom, he releases my hand and begins to lay things out. There is shampoo, soap and a towel, baby oil and... BABY OIL? My dick twitches. I sit down on the toilet seat and start taking off my boots. He bends to kiss me, and then starts the shower. I'm embarrassed, he's never really seen me since I lost my arm. Now I can't hide it from him. I start to unfasten the straps of my prosthesis, and he lays a hand on mine, then takes over, his clever fingers unbuckling it, removing it and laying it to one side. I try to turn my body away so it isn't showing so much, but he won't let me. His hand is right there, touching the scars on my stump thoughtfully.

"Don't, Fox, please don't." He doesn't answer me for a moment, then he yanks me to my feet and pulls me to him savagely, bending his head to cover my mouth with his. We chew on each other's faces for a while, and I feel that fluttering again. He reaches down to unfasten my jeans, and without breaking our kiss, he pushes them down to my knees, freeing my erection to rub up against his sweats. I'm moaning almost continuously now, and he's running his hands over me, making me shiver. I want him to touch my cock, it's bursting, but he doesn't. I struggle free of his lips, throwing my head back, gasping as if I'm a newly landed fish. He smiles that smile again.

"Take off the rest of your clothes, Alex. I want to see you naked." Wordlessly, I obey him. Off come the jeans, the socks follow, and this is me, right here. I tug on his sweatshirt, and he allows me to strip his torso, before pushing me to get under the shower.

The water is warm, feeling good on my hypersensitive skin. I turn to allow it to beat down on my penis, but he sees, swatting my butt with a slap that stings sharply.

"Oh no! Not today you don't. Today you're going to wait for me. You won't come until I want you to, until I say you can." He's been taking off the rest of his clothes and by this time he is as bare as I am, only a whole lot prettier, with two, count them, two arms and no traces of fat anywhere on his sleek, lean, long-legged body. That body climbs into the tub with me, pours out shampoo, and begins to wash my hair.

I stand quietly, allowing him to do what he wants to me. He massages the foam into my hair, rubbing my scalp, playing with the back of my neck, twisting his fingers into the hair, short though it is.

"You're going to have to grow this a little, Krycek, I can't get my hands into it properly," he complains. "Hey, whatever have you been doing? There are squirrels nesting in here."

His fingers are soothing the cuts and bruises from earlier in the day, and I'm standing here letting him. I'm just lost in love with him.

The fingers move across my neck and down to soap my chest and arms, my belly and my back. They move over me, soaping busily, everywhere in fact except the core of me. He avoids my penis. He's all over me, every touch a thrill, but God, I need him to get serious with my dick. I resort to begging.

"Please, please Fox, you're driving me crazy. Touch me, please touch me." He laughs shortly, nuzzling into my neck, kissing and sucking, making me nuts. He presses himself against my back, so that I can feel his hardness pushing against the cleft of my buttocks. I lean back into him, groaning, and he at last brings his hands around to the front of me, his slippery hands taking hold of my cock and sliding the skin back and forth. I can feel my orgasm take hold of me, and I'm truly gone, knees buckling and the blood singing in my ears as sweet, hot lightening rushes through my belly. With a growl, he squeezes me in back of my balls, and the base of my prick and the orgasm is gone! He does this so suddenly that my eyeballs bug out and I scream. He laughs again.

"That's the first one!" I stare at him, open mouthed, while he turns off the shower, then his arms go around me again, and he's brushing the moisture off my body. I can't think straight. I'm in a fog of need, and I hear him through the drumming of my pulse.

He takes a fluffy towel and begins to dry me off. He's talking while he pats me dry, whispering sweet things to me, things I can't take in properly. I'm so bemused. He towels my hair, talking all the while in his low, soothing voice. He tells me how much he missed me. He talks about the pain of giving his heart and never getting it back. He says I'm beautiful and then he kisses me again. I'd forgotten what a great kisser he is. His mouth was made to be kissed, and he uses it to the fullest extent possible. He explores every last part of my mouth, then tracks kisses over my jaw, nibbles my ears and delicately pokes his tongue tip into my ear to run it around the loops and whorls and then down the earhole itself. I'm in dire straits. My fist is clenched in his hair. I must be hurting him but he continues on without flinching.

Dry at last, with my hair combed and my dick rampant and throbbing, he studies me and then hooks his fingers around it, leading me by it back to his bedroom. I'm whimpering. He soothes me again.

"Shhh, it's OK, Alex, I'm gonna make you feel so good. Just hang with me baby. Let me love you the way I've been dreaming for all these years." I'm still doing fish impressions, mouth opening and closing soundlessly. My breathing is so labored and hoarse now I sound as if I'm going to have a heart attack. I feel as if I am too. Fox pats me on my shoulder, and leads me to his bed. He pushes me down on it. Gratefully I let my knees give way and lie down. He sits on the edge of the bed next to me, and I wait for him to join me, lying down beside me, but he doesn't.

"Fox, I need you to fuck me. I want you so much. Please...." He puts his hand gently over my mouth, and smiles again.

"Shhh! You owe me. I'm gonna collect today. Right now, baby. You'll be feeling really good in a little while." I reflect that I'm already feeling good, but if he'd only go down on me with that luscious mouth I'd be feeling so much better. I try to tell him that, but he just traces around my nipples, over my belly button and down the inside of my thigh with his forefinger. I think I'm gonna die.

He's fumbling around in the drawer of his nightstand while I lie expectantly, hoping that it's lube he's looking for. The baby oil is beside the bed, and I'm getting to the stage where I'm considering force to get my rocks off. He finds what he needs and takes my hand, lifting it and placing a kiss in my palm, then closing my hand on it. I close my eyes and then he slaps a handcuff on my wrist, fastening me to his headboard. I scream again.

"Yeah! That's two...." His whole face is alight with unholy mischief as he moves around the bed. I'm getting worried. Smoothly, he captures my left ankle, and ties it with soft fabric. I think about kicking, but there's no real point. The handcuff holds me fast, and I couldn't get away even if my legs were free. I give in, but I feel very weak and out of control now. It's not something I've ever felt before. I let him tie me down, and the critter in my stomach begins fluttering madly, as though it were trying to get out. Fat chance! If I have to stay, so do you, I think viciously.

Fox stands back now to survey his captive. Grabbing the baby oil, he uncaps it and allows a trickle to pour onto my chest. It runs down pooling in my navel. He puts the bottle away and begins to work the oil into my skin. He rubs and kneads, pinches and tweaks everywhere. Everywhere except where I want him, need him to. My erection had subsided a little, but it's back now with a vengeance and it feels so left out!

What Fox is doing to me is nothing less than torture. I tell him so. He smiles down at me with his most sunny expression and agrees. Shit!

I resolve to last this out. He isn't going to kill me, is he? He isn't going to cause me any permanent injury. I can stand it. At least I'm lying on a bed, not on the floor of a cold cell and the man who's threatening to make my life more interesting is the one I love. The one I love is going back into the bathroom now. I close my eyes, feeling the tingling of my nerve endings and imagining the things that might happen next.

He returns, carrying a large bowl of warm water, which he places down by the bedside. Next come a towel and a can of something. Finally, he sits back down beside me, with something held in his hand, just out of my visual field. He calls my name. Gazing up at him, I boggle just a little bit. He's got an old fashioned cutthroat razor in his hand, and he's admiring the edge on it. Oh, God!

Next, he takes the can, and this proves to be shaving foam. Spraying some into the palm of his hand, he proceeds to lather up the whole of my pubic area. I don't scream. I'm beyond screaming. I squeak pathetically. He seems to like that. He says:

"Good boy, Alex! That's three...." I wince as he brandishes the razor. I wince again as he begins to shave my crotch, and my balls try to do their impression of a necktie. There's nowhere I can go, but I try to shrink down and become one with the mattress. I fail.

He continues to shave me, unperturbed by my obvious panic. I'm planning to strangle him. I'm thinking of nailing him down to an anthill and covering him with honey. I'm desperate for him to fuck me.

He finishes shaving me, and I reflect that it's going to itch like holy hell when it starts to grow back. His fingers are rubbing little circles along the veins of my prick, making me groan again. He reaches the glans and pulls back my foreskin. The whole thing is twitching, and I'm trying to thrust into his hand and relieve myself, but of course he won't let me. He strokes down the length of my dick with that goddamn razor. Then he starts singing a fucking song!

"The first cut won't hurt at all
The second only makes you wonder
The third will have you on your knees..."

I scream again, and Fox puts the razor down.

"That's four, baby! We're getting there!"

"Oh, God, baby, don't, please don't...I love you!"

He puts down the razor at last, and he's really grinning now. He takes hold of my cock and slowly begins to work it, pumping rhythmically. I close my eyes again but open them in a hurry, as he finally drops down and applies those wonderful lips to the head. He swirls his tongue around it, and I imagine myself as an ice cream. Alex the ice cream! Then the climax starts to build again. Once more he squeezes, cutting it off as it's just beginning to pulse. This time I go crazy, I can't help it. I'm screaming, sobbing and begging him.

"Oh please, Fox, please, please...!" He crows with laughter and lays himself along me, pressing his mouth against my lips, his penis stiff and hard against mine. I'm sobbing now. I don't know whether to kiss him back or not. He's killing me.

"That's five, Alex. I think it's time now, don't you?" His words are whispered close to my ear and they set me jittering. What's he going to do to me?

He pushes himself up and takes my prick again. Covering it with the baby oil, he slides himself onto it without any further preamble. I scream again, it feels so good that it hurts me. I can't decide whether I'm in heaven or hell.

He slides my cock in and out of himself, working away at his own at the same time, and I feel it coming once more. This time I'm going to die. I know it. If he stops me, my heart will stop with it.

Building, I'm watching him with his head thrown back, his eyes closed and a look of complete joy on his face. He's pumping himself wildly and the sight of him tips me over the edge. I explode into him. There is no other way to describe what happens. The tide of pleasure begins in my cock, and spreads out in waves until my entire body feels it. I'm shouting his name again, and begging him to please love me, the way I love him. I grey out, and for a minute there is nothing but the feel of him as he finally comes himself, collapsing onto my chest with a yell, the come spurting onto me.

I slip limply from his body, and he lies on me; we are both gasping, and if someone broke in right now and stole everything he owns, we wouldn't be able to stop them! I nuzzle him, he looks up a little, meets my mouth with his, and the kiss he gives me is sweet and healing.

Catching my breath at last, I lie, bathed in sweat, with my lover wrapped around me. I've never felt quite this way before.

"Fox, baby, I will always love you." He smiles at that and reaches to release my hand from the cuff.

Free at last, my arm goes around him, and for now, I am going nowhere. Tomorrow, he can try to make me scream again, but for now, I am at last completely happy.

Three hits to the heart son
And the last one sings in me.

---

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