Shakespeare

This is a piece of silliness that was written for the Fight Club 'Flame the Fight' day.

Tyler said "No one here is Shakespeare. No matter how beautifully worded or detailed some comments may be. Never be intimidated into silence. Two or three genuine and sincere sentences can make all the difference in the world."

And to that I responded: 'Oh yes they are. I am for a start. Here... Let me show you...'

'Muldero'

Act 5, Scene 2

A bedchamber in the castle: KRYCEK in bed asleep;

Enter MULDER

MULDER
It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul,--
Let me not name it to you, you chaste stars!--
It is the cause. Yet I'll not shed his blood;
Nor scar that whiter skin of his than snow,
And smooth as monumental alabaster.
Yet he must die, else he'll betray more men.
Put out the light, and then put out the light:
If I quench thee, thou flaming minister,
I can again thy former light restore,
Should I repent me: but once put out thy light,
Thou cunning'st pattern of excelling nature,
I know not where is that Promethean heat
That can thy light relume. When I have pluck'd the rose,
I cannot give it vital growth again.
It must needs wither: I'll smell it on the tree.

Kissing him

Ah balmy breath, that dost almost persuade
Justice to break her sword! One more, one more.
Be thus when thou art dead, and I will kill thee,
And love thee after. One more, and this the last:
So sweet was ne'er so fatal. I must weep,
But they are cruel tears: this sorrow's heavenly;
It strikes where it doth love. He wakes.

KRYCEK
Who's there? MULDER?

MULDER
Ay. Alex

KRYCEK
Will you come to bed, my lord?

MULDER
Have you pray'd to-night, Alex?

KRYCEK
Ay, my lord.

MULDER
If you bethink yourself of any crime
Unreconciled as yet to heaven and grace,
Solicit for it straight.

KRYCEK
Alas, my lord, what do you mean by that?

MULDER
Well, do it, and be brief; I will walk by:
I would not kill thy unprepared spirit;
No; heaven forfend! I would not kill thy soul.

KRYCEK
Talk you of killing?

MULDER
Ay, I do.

KRYCEK
Then heaven have mercy on me!

MULDER
Amen, with all my heart!

KRYCEK
If you say so, I hope you will not kill me.

MULDER
Hum!

KRYCEK
And yet I fear you; for you are fatal then
When your eyes roll so: why I should fear I know not,
Since guiltiness I know not; but yet I feel I fear.

MULDER
Think on thy sins.

KRYCEK
They are loves I bear to you.

MULDER
Ay, and for that thou diest.

KRYCEK
That death's unnatural that kills for loving.
Alas, why gnaw you so your nether lip?
Some bloody passion shakes your very frame:
These are portents; but yet I hope, I hope,
They do not point on me.

MULDER
Peace, and be still!

KRYCEK
I will so. What's the matter?

MULDER
That handkerchief which I so loved and gave thee
Thou gavest to Skinner.

KRYCEK
No, by my life and soul!
Send for the man, and ask him.

MULDER
Sweet soul, take heed,
Take heed of perjury; thou art on thy deathbed.

KRYCEK
Ay, but not yet to die.

MULDER
Yes, presently:
Therefore confess thee freely of thy sin;
For to deny each article with oath
Cannot remove nor choke the strong conception
That I do groan withal. Thou art to die.

KRYCEK
Then Lord have mercy on me!

MULDER
I say, amen.

KRYCEK
And have you mercy too! I never did
Offend you in my life; never loved Skinner
But with such general warranty of heaven
As I might love: I never gave him token.

MULDER
By heaven, I saw my handkerchief in's hand.
O perjured man! thou dost stone my heart,
And makest me call what I intend to do
A murder, which I thought a sacrifice:
I saw the handkerchief.

KRYCEK
He found it then;
I never gave it him: send for him hither;
Let him confess a truth.

MULDER
He hath confess'd.

KRYCEK
What, my lord?

MULDER
That he hath used thee.

KRYCEK
How? unlawfully?

MULDER
Ay.

KRYCEK
He will not say so.

MULDER
No, his mouth is stopp'd;
Honest Spender hath ta'en order for't.

KRYCEK
O! my fear interprets: what, is he dead?

MULDER
Had all his hairs been lives, my great revenge
Had stomach for them all.

KRYCEK
Alas! he is betray'd and I undone.

MULDER
Out, strumpet! weep'st thou for him to my face?

KRYCEK
O, banish me, my lord, but kill me not!

MULDER
Down, strumpet!

KRYCEK
Kill me to-morrow: let me live to-night!

MULDER
Nay, if you strive--

KRYCEK
But half an hour!

MULDER
Being done, there is no pause.

KRYCEK
But while I say one prayer!

MULDER
It is too late.

He stifles Krycek

SCULLY
[Within] My lord, my lord! what, ho! my lord, my lord!

MULDER
What noise is this? Not dead? not yet quite dead?
I that am cruel am yet merciful;
I would not have thee linger in thy pain: So, so.

SCULLY
What, ho! Mulder... Mulder!

MULDER
Who's there?

SCULLY
O, good Mulder, I would speak a word with you!

MULDER
Yes: 'tis SCULLY. By and by. He's dead.
'Tis like she comes to speak of Skinner's death.--
The noise was here. Ha! no more moving?
Still as the grave. Shall she come in? were't good?--
I think he stirs again:--no. What's best to do?
If she come in, she'll sure speak to Alex:
Alex! Alex! what Alex? I have no Alex.
O insupportable! O heavy hour!
Me thinks it should be now a huge eclipse
Of sun and moon, and that the affrighted globe
Should yawn at alteration.

SCULLY
I do beseech you, that I may speak with you, O, good Mulder!

MULDER
I had forgot thee: O, come in, SCULLY;
Soft; by and by. Let me the curtains draw.
Where art thou?

Unlocks the door

Enter SCULLY

What's the matter with thee now?

SCULLY
O, my good lord, yonder's foul murders done!

MULDER
What, now?

SCULLY
But now, my lord.

MULDER
It is the very error of the moon;
She comes more nearer earth than she was wont,
And makes men mad.

SCULLY
Skinner, my lord, hath kill'd a young computer geek
Call'd Langly.

MULDER
Langly kill'd! And Skinner kill'd!

SCULLY
No, Skinner is not kill'd.

MULDER
Not Skinner kill'd! then murder's out of tune,
And sweet revenge grows harsh.

KRYCEK
O, falsely, falsely murder'd!

SCULLY
Alas, what cry is that?

MULDER
That! what?

SCULLY
Out, and alas! that was Krycek's voice.
Help! help, ho! help! O Alex, speak again!
Sweet KRYCEK! O sweet Alex, speak!

KRYCEK
A guiltless death I die.

SCULLY
O, who hath done this deed?

KRYCEK
Nobody; I myself. Farewell
Commend me to my kind lord: O, farewell!

Dies

MULDER
Why, how should he be murder'd?

SCULLY
Alas, who knows?

MULDER
You heard him say himself, it was not I.

SCULLY
He said so: I must needs report the truth.

MULDER
He's, like a liar, gone to burning hell:
'Twas I that kill'd him.

SCULLY
O, the more angel he,
And you the blacker devil!

MULDER
He turn'd to folly, and he was a whore.

SCULLY
Thou dost belie him, and thou art a devil.

MULDER
He was false as water.

SCULLY
Thou art rash as fire, to say
That he was false: O, he was heavenly true!

MULDER
Skinner did top him; ask thy husband else.
O, I were damn'd beneath all depth in hell,
But that I did proceed upon just grounds
To this extremity. Thy husband knew it all.

SCULLY
My husband!

MULDER
Thy husband.

SCULLY
That he was false to wedlock?

MULDER
Ay, with Skinner. Nay, had he been true,
If heaven would make me such another world
Of one entire and Perfect chrysolite,
I'ld not have sold him for it.

SCULLY
My husband!

MULDER
Ay, 'twas he that told me first:
An honest man he is, and hates the slime
That sticks on filthy deeds.

SCULLY
My husband!

MULDER
What needs this iteration, woman? I say thy husband.

SCULLY
O mistress, villany hath made mocks with love,
My husband say that he was false!

MULDER
He, woman; I say thy husband: dost understand the word?
My friend, thy husband, honest, honest Spender.

SCULLY
If he say so, may his pernicious soul
Rot half a grain a day! he lies to the heart:
He was too fond of his most filthy bargain.

MULDER
Ha!

SCULLY
Do thy worst: This deed of thine is no moren worthy heaven
Than thou wast worthy him.

MULDER
Peace, you were best.

SCULLY
Thou hast not half that power to do me harm
As I have to be hurt. O gull! O dolt!
As ignorant as dirt! thou hast done a deed--
I care not for thy sword; I'll make thee known,
Though I lost twenty lives.--Help! help, ho! help!
This Feeb hath kill'd my Alex! Murder! murder!

Enter SPENDER, and others

SCULLY
O, are you come, Spender? you have done well,
That men must lay their murders on your neck.

SKINNER
What is the matter?

SCULLY
Disprove this villain, if thou be'st a man:
He says thou told'st him that Krycek was false:
I know thou didst not, thou'rt not such a villain:
Speak, for my heart is full.

SPENDER
I told him what I thought, and told no more
Than what he found himself was apt and true.

SCULLY
But did you ever tell him he was false?

SPENDER
I did.

SCULLY
You told a lie, an odious, damned lie;
Upon my soul, a lie, a wicked lie.
He false with Skinner!--did you say with Skinner?

SPENDER
With Skinner, mistress. Go to, charm your tongue.

SCULLY
I will not charm my tongue; I am bound to speak:
My Alex here lies murder'd in his bed,--

All
O heavens forfend!

SCULLY
And your reports have set the murder on.

MULDER
Nay, stare not, masters: it is true, indeed.

SKINNER
'Tis a strange truth.

BYERS
O monstrous act!

SCULLY
Villany, villany, villany!
I think upon't, I think: I smell't: O villany!--
I thought so then:--I'll kill myself for grief:--
O villany, villany!

SPENDER
What, are you mad? I charge you, get you home.

SCULLY
Good gentlemen, let me have leave to speak:
'Tis proper I obey him, but not now.
Perchance, Spender, I will ne'er go home.

MULDER
O! O! O!

He falls on the bed

SCULLY
Nay, lay thee down and roar;
For thou hast kill'd the sweetest innocent
That e'er did lift up pretty green eyes.

MULDER
[Rising] O, he was foul!
I scarce did know you, Assistant Director: there lies your mole,
Whose breath, indeed, these hands have newly stopp'd:
I know this act shows horrible and grim.

SKINNER
Poor KRYCEK! I am glad thy father's dead, Mulder:
Thy match was mortal to him, and pure grief
Shore his old thread in twain: did he live now,
This sight would make him do a desperate turn,
Yea, curse his better angel from his side,
And fall to reprobation.

MULDER
'Tis pitiful; but yet Spender knows
That he with Skinner hath the act of shame
A thousand times committed; Skinner, you confess'd it:
And Alex did gratify his amorous works
With that recognizance and pledge of love
Which I first gave him; I saw it in his hand:
It was a handkerchief, an antique token
My father gave my mother.

SCULLY
O heaven! O heavenly powers!

SPENDER
Come, hold your peace.

SCULLY
'Twill out, 'twill out: I peace!
No, I will speak as liberal as the north:
Let heaven and men and devils, let them all,
All, all, cry shame against me, yet I'll speak.

SPENDER
Be wise, and get you home.

SCULLY
I will not.

SPENDER offers to stab SCULLY

SKINNER
Fie! Your sword upon a woman?

SCULLY
O thou dull FBI agent! that handkerchief thou speak'st of
I found by fortune and did give my husband;
For often, with a solemn earnestness,
More than indeed belong'd to such a trifle,
He begg'd of me to steal it.

SPENDER
Villanous whore!

SCULLY
She give it Skinner! no, alas! I found it,
And I did give't my husband.

SPENDER
Filth, thou liest!

SCULLY
By heaven, I do not, I do not, gentlemen.
O murderous coxcomb! what should such a fool
Do with so good a woman?

MULDER
Are there no stones in heaven
But what serve for the thunder?--Precious villain!

He runs at SPENDER. SPENDER, from behind, stabs SCULLY, and exit

SKINNER
The woman falls; sure, he hath kill'd his wife.

SCULLY
Ay, ay: O, lay me by Krycek's side.

SKINNER
He's gone, but his wife's kill'd.

BYERS
'Tis a notorious villain. Take you this weapon,
Which I have here recover'd from Mulder:
Come, guard the door without; let him not pass,
But kill him rather. I'll after that same villain,
For 'tis a damned slave.

Exeunt BYERS and SKINNER

MULDER
I am not valiant neither,
But ever puny whipster gets my sword:
But why should honour outlive honesty?
Let it go all.

SCULLY
What did thy song bode, Alex?
Hark, canst thou hear me? I will play the swan.
And die in music.

Singing

Willow, willow, willow,--
Mulder, he was chaste; he loved thee, cruel Mulder;
So come my soul to bliss, as I speak true;
So speaking as I think, I die, I die.

Dies

MULDER
I have another weapon in this chamber;
It is a sword of Spain, the ice-brook's temper:--
O, here it is. Assistant Director, I must come forth.

SKINNER
[Within] If thou attempt it, it will cost thee dear:
Thou hast no weapon, and perforce must suffer.

MULDER
Look in upon me then and speak with me,
Or, naked as I am, I will assault thee.

Re-enter SKINNER

SKINNER
What is the matter?

MULDER
Behold, I have a weapon;
A better never did itself sustain
Upon a soldier's thigh: I have seen the day,
That, with this little arm and this good sword,
I have made my way through more impediments
Than twenty times your stop: but, O vain boast!
Who can control his fate? 'tis not so now.
Be not afraid, though you do see me weapon'd;
Here is my journey's end, here is my butt,
And very sea-mark of my utmost sail.
Do you go back dismay'd? 'tis a lost fear;
Man but a rush against MULDER's breast,
And he retires. Where should MULDER go?
Now, how dost thou look now? O ill-starr'd wench!
Pale as thy smock! when we shall meet at compt,
This look of thine will hurl my soul from heaven,
And fiends will snatch at it. Cold, cold, my girl!
Even like thy chastity. O cursed slave!
Whip me, ye devils,
From the possession of this heavenly sight!
Blow me about in winds! roast me in sulphur!
Wash me in steep-down gulfs of liquid fire!
O KRYCEK! KRYCEK! dead!
Oh! Oh! Oh!

Enter FROHIKE, BYERS, SKINNER carried in a chair, and Officers with SPENDER, prisoner

FROHIKE
Where is this rash and most unfortunate man?

MULDER
That's he that was MULDER: here I am.

FROHIKE
Where is that viper? bring the villain forth.

MULDER
I look down towards his feet; but that's a fable.
If that thou best a devil, I cannot kill thee.

Wounds SPENDER

FROHIKE
Wrench his sword from him.

SPENDER
I bleed, sir; but not kill'd.

MULDER
I am not sorry neither: I'ld have thee live;
For, in my sense, 'tis happiness to die.

FROHIKE
O thou MULDER, thou wert once so good,
Fall'n in the practise of a damned slave,
What shall be said to thee?

MULDER
Why, any thing:
An honourable murderer, if you will;
For nought I did in hate, but all in honour.

FROHIKE
This wretch hath part confess'd his villany:
Did you and he consent in Skinner's death?

MULDER
Ay.

SKINNER
General, I never gave you cause.

MULDER
I do believe it, and I ask your pardon.
Will you, I pray, demand that demi-devil
Why he hath thus ensnared my soul and body?

SPENDER
Demand me nothing: what you know, you know:
From this time forth I never will speak word.

BYERS
What, not to pray?

SKINNER
Torments will ope your lips.

MULDER
Well, thou dost best.

BYERS
Sir, you shall understand what hath befall'n,
Which, as I think, you know not. Here is a letter
Found in the pocket of the slain Langly;
And here another: the one of them imports
The death of Skinner to be undertook
By Langly.

MULDER
O villain!

SKINNER
Most heathenish and most gross!

BYERS
Now here's another discontented paper,
Found in his pocket too; and this, it seems,
Langly meant to have sent this damned villain;
But that belike Spender in the interim
Came in and satisfied him.

MULDER
O the pernicious caitiff!
How came you, Skinner, by that handkerchief
That was Alex's?

SKINNER
I found it in my chamber:
And he himself confess'd but even now
That there he dropp'd it for a special purpose
Which wrought to his desire.

MULDER
O fool! fool! fool!

SKINNER
There is besides in Langly's letter,
How he upbraids Spender, that he made him
Brave me upon the watch; whereon it came
That I was cast: and even but now he spake,
After long seeming dead, Spender hurt him,
Spender set him on.

BYERS
You must forsake this room, and go with us:
Your power and your command is taken off,
And Skinner rules in The X-Files. For this slave,
If there be any cunning cruelty
That can torment him much and hold him long,
It shall be his. You shall close prisoner rest,
Till that the nature of your fault be known
To the Supreme Court. Come, bring him away.

MULDER
Soft you; a word or two before you go.
I have done the state some service, and they know't.
No more of that. I pray you, in your letters,
When you shall these unlucky deeds relate,
Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate,
Nor set down aught in malice: then must you speak
Of one that loved not wisely but too well;
Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought
Perplex'd in the extreme; of one whose hand,
Like the base Indian, threw a pearl away
Richer than all his tribe; of one whose subdued eyes,
Albeit unused to the melting mood,
Drop tears as fast as the Arabian trees
Their medicinal gum. Set you down this;
And say besides, that in Aleppo once,
Where a malignant and a turban'd Turk
Beat a Venetian and traduced the state,
I took by the throat the circumcised dog,
And smote him, thus.

Stabs himself

FROHIKE
O bloody period!

SKINNER
All that's spoke is marr'd.

MULDER
I kiss'd thee ere I kill'd thee: no way but this;
Killing myself, to die upon a kiss.

Falls on the bed, and dies

SKINNER
This did I fear, but thought he had no weapon;
For he was great of heart.

BYERS
[To SPENDER] O Spartan dog,
More fell than anguish, hunger, or the sea!
Look on the tragic loading of this bed;
This is thy work: the object poisons sight;
Let it be hid. Skinner, keep the house,
And seize upon the fortunes of Fox Mulder,
For they succeed on you. To you, Assistant Director,
Remains the censure of this hellish villain;
The time, the place, the torture: O, enforce it!
Myself will straight aboard: and to the state
This heavy act with heavy heart relate.

Exeunt

---

| Back to My Stories –|– Email Dr. Ruthless |