The Hunter and the Hunted

Fandom: The X-Files/Supernatural

Rated: Parts range from PG to NC17 for adult situations and graphic sex.

Pairing: Dean Winchester/Alex Krycek

Spoilers: none

Warning: Slash, M/M affection

Year/Length 2006/~100,365

Disclaimer: Dean and his family belong to Eric Kripke and Supernatural, and Alex belongs to Chris Carter and the X-Files. We own nothing, but we are doing this for love and not money.

Author's Notes: Dean spent four years traveling with John, his father, and later on his own missions, while Sam, his brother, was at Stanford. We've bent time a little, and we are aware of that, but this is fiction. We've decided that Dean met up with Alex Krycek after the events of Piper Maru and Apocrypha so for everyone that ever wondered how Alex got out of the missile silo, we have the scoop.

Illustrations: by Carla Jane and Griva, banner by art_of_mayhem (hover mouse over for credits)

| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |

Part 1: The October Song

I'll sing you my October song, There is no song before it
The words and tune are not my own, my joy and sorrow bore it
Beside the sea there's a brambly briar in the still of evening
Birds fly out from beside the sun, and with them I'll be leaving
"October Song," by the Incredible String Band.

Dean Winchester never liked to fly – he had more than just a slight fear of air travel, so instead, he spent his time driving around the country in the 67 Impala his father had given him. It was a funny thought, given Dean's profession, which was that of hunter. He wasn't just your average hunter either, not the kind that hunted animals. Dean hunted the paranormal. Demons, ghosts, spirits - anything that troubled people, and he saved their lives. It was something he'd grown up with – something that his father had taught both his boys, believing that, if he made soldiers out of them, their knowledge and skills would protect them.

At the tender age of four, when Dean was little, his brother a mere six months old, their house had burned down. Dean had carried his little brother out on his father's orders. As the house burned, Dean, his father and little Sammy had watched. Dean later learned that his father believed something supernatural had started that fire, and that it hadn't been the electrical blaze that the authorities had decided to call it.

Much later his father had told Dean that he'd seen their mother pinned to the ceiling, before it had burst into flames. Whatever had done this, it had become the family mission to hunt it down and destroy it.

Dean's father, John, had heard a rumor of strange things happening around a certain field close to Fargo, North Dakota, the part of the country where Dean was now traveling. Events had been going on for a while, and people were reporting strange lights, things happening that could not be explained, even peculiar noises coming from the woods. Finally, Dean had been sent to check it out.

Dean found himself driving down a dirt road, which led to the field he was to investigate. It was just past sunset, and his headlights cut through the light fog lifting off the grass. The tree line could barely be seen in the darkness, but something else was catching his attention. A Missile silo jutted up into the night sky like a rotten tooth against the scudding clouds.

The Impala rolled to a stop, the driver peering out of the window at his surroundings. "Great, dad," Dean mumbled, pushing the door open. It creaked with age as he closed it, looking around at the apparently disused building. Walking back to the trunk, he opened it up, and then pulled open the hidden compartment, which was loaded down with all he needed to fight whatever he encountered, guns, knives, holy water, rock salt, gas, and more. He selected a flashlight; he already had a gun at his back, just in case, but he reached in to grab some spare ammo for it.

Walking around, he started to explore what he thought of as the target area, EMF at the ready. After wandering through the complex for nearly an hour, he was beginning to think this trip might be a bust. He hadn't seen or heard anything except... well, now that he thought of it, that was a little strange, there were no birds flying about, and not even the crickets were making a noise. Hell, there weren't even bugs flying at him to bite or get at his light.

After some consideration, Dean decided to check out inside the silo, if at all possible, so he made his way to the entrance. It appeared to be unlocked, so, pulling the door open, he entered. Once inside, he gazed down the long hall, frowning, then shone his flashlight around, walking down the length of the corridor as he looked about.

Alex Krycek had given up. Hungry and thirsty to such a degree that his tongue had swollen in his mouth, he sat slumped, his back to the door against which he'd pounded so fruitlessly for hours.

It seemed as if this was going to be the one time when he wouldn't get away. The creature that had taken him over had departed from his body, leaving only a greasy scum on his skin and a vile taste in his mouth - as if he'd drunk industrial waste.

If he had any moisture left in him, he would have cried, but as it was he merely sat, staring blindly into the stygian darkness, wondering how long it would take for him to die.

He had no idea how long he'd been there. Time had stopped for him at that airport bathroom in Hong Kong, and he had somehow awakened here in this hellhole, back in the clutches of the Smoker. He'd thought he could somehow parley his way out of the place, but Spender wasn't having any of it. He'd told the soldiers to leave him, and then abandoned him to his fate.

As the door had clanged shut, he'd been crouched over the ground, vomiting out the oily substance that had been riding him for the past few days, and by the time he'd realized that he wasn't in Hong Kong any more, the door had been shut on him, locking him into a darkness that was doubly terrifying because he didn't know how he'd got there, only that he was there now, and it seemed as if he would never get out again.

He thought he might have dozed for a while, but he came suddenly awake as he heard something moving on the other side of the door. "God!" He stumbled to his feet and peered through the glass in the door, trying to discern whether there actually was someone out there, maybe Mulder returning to poke around.

He was giving up again, when he saw the light. It was a flashlight, he was almost certain, and that meant Mulder; of course it did. Even Mulder wouldn't condemn him to die alone in the dark, although if it did turn out to be his nemesis he'd have to work out a way of escaping the feeb's clutches once out of here.

"Help! Help!" His voice was cracked and barely audible, so Alex did the only thing he could. He banged on the heavy iron door, kicked at it with one steel toecapped boot, until the hollow booming he made could not possibly be missed.

"Oh, God, please!" He didn't believe in God, but he hoped like crazy that God would believe in him, just this once.

"Help, goddammit!" he screamed.

There was nothing but darkness, and the hollow echo of his boots striking the flooring. His flashlight reflected off painted signs and numbers on the wall. Dean shone the light up, not able to figure out where those strange sounds would have come from - those sounds and lights that had been reported in the press. Perhaps this was really nothing -just stupid people trying to get attention. He and his dad had run into that before.

Suddenly there was an echoing, a booming followed by a faint sound that might have been a voice. Then there was banging - loud banging. Dean turned toward the source, his flashlight pointing out the direction. He started walking toward where he thought it was coming from, and as he got closer it became unmistakably a voice. Someone was inside, apparently locked behind the huge iron door at the end of the corridor. Running up to the window, he shone his light in through the glass.

"Hey! Hey, you okay in there? Hold on." He reached for the latch but then paused wondering if he should. Was there a reason someone had put this man in here?

His head jerked up when the man spoke again, although he couldn't hear what the other was saying, because of the thickness of the metal door. "Okay, hold on." He moved the latch, pulling the pin that held it in place, then jerked the handle to release it and pulled open the door, catching the man as he nearly fell out.

"Easy!"

He wrapped an arm around the newly freed prisoner, supporting him as he started to help him out. Dean would worry about how he got in there later. He was sure there was going to be a story.

For a moment, Alex couldn't quite believe he was out. He clung to his rescuer. He was unable to see the man properly in the light from the flashlight, but one thing he knew, he was out! He was free, and there was no way anyone would get him back into that chamber again without brute force, and a lot more brute force than was usual.

"Jesus!" he whispered. "Get me out of here! Please get me out of here?" His abused vocal chords were way beyond their usual ability to vibrate now, and his voice was a ragged travesty of its usual sensual husk, but his wild eyed look, and the panic he was so visibly experiencing would have to do for now. Either the man who'd opened the door would recognize his fear, or he wouldn't. If he didn't, then he'd cut and run, and that was all there was to it.

It seemed that the other was on his wavelength, because he turned and began to guide Alex back towards the doorway he had thought never to see again. He coughed, almost choking as he tried to speak, but managed a brief 'thank you' as his rescuer led him to freedom.

The night was damp and chilly, and Alex breathed in the sour air with desperate greed, clinging still to the slick leather that his savior was wearing. "Can we get out of here?" he asked, still coughing a little.

Dean had to support most of the man's weight. He was weak, stumbling, and who knew how long he had been in there. By the smell it had been a while, that was for sure. And he had this strange greasy film covering him, like oil. Dean had to wonder where that had come from. He turned a corner; the metal door he'd entered by was still wide open. Bugs fluttered around the entrance although they hadn't been there earlier, and the cool air rushed in to wash over them as Dean was taking the ex-prisoner out.

He led the man over to the car, opening the passenger door to set him in, then went around to the back, opening the trunk to get him some water. "Here, drink it slowly." He held it up to the man's lips. "What the hell were you doing in there?"

Crouching down before him, he put his hand upon the man's leg as he looked up into another set of green eyes set in a face that looked like it'd been scared shitless for far too long.

"I... I don't know." Alex gazed at his rescuer, eyes still wide and shocky, although his initial panic attack was subsiding now that he was outside and able to see the sky above his head, feel the icy bite of the wind that was beginning to blow flakes of snow around the desolate landscape.

"I was in Hong Kong, and Mulder..." He stopped short. This man wouldn't know Mulder, wouldn't have a clue what he was talking about, and he didn't want to give away any sensitive information until he found out for himself what had happened. He'd already patted his pockets down and knew that he no longer had the DAT tape on him - worse, he couldn't find that last little packet of the amphetamines he knew had been in his jacket, and he thought that any moment now he might come apart. This man with his bland, pretty face, and his big old battleship of a car would help him, if he pushed the right buttons, he knew. It ought to be easy. He took a deep breath and began again.

"The last thing I remember," he murmured, his voice growing stronger as he sipped the water. "Was being in the airport at Hong Kong. There was a woman in the bathroom, and she choked me." He sighed. "I know that sounds feeble but..."

The sudden sound of a vehicle in the distance made him jump and twitch, and he hugged himself. "Can we get out of here? It's not that I'm not grateful or anything, but I don't suddenly want to find myself back in that place."

Dean frowned; Hong Kong was a hell of a long way from here, and the muttered name, Mulder, was not one he knew, although of course he would look it up later and check with his father to see if he'd heard of him. But his face didn't show too much other than a frown as he kept a close eye on the man's intake of water.

"Missing something?" Dean asked, pushing up from his crouch and fishing around for his keys. The things this man was telling him were triggering off warning signals. It sounded like a possible possession of the kind that would transfer from person to person. It seemed obvious to Dean that a demon had gone from the woman to this man, but where was it now, and why did it leave this man here in this godforsaken hole?

Dean got the man the rest of the way into the car and closed the door. Climbing in on the other side, he started up the engine and pulled the car away from the silo, barreling off to the road and down it, heading for Fargo, where he already had a room in a dilapidated motel.

"Name is Dean." He didn't give his last name. Ordinarily he would have given a fake ID, but, if this man had been possessed, it might be best to gain his trust rather than lying about something as simple as his name. He glanced at the other, frowning at the residue upon his skin and clothes. He hadn't ever seen a possession that left behind that kind of stuff. It looked almost like oil. "I'm staying in a motel. It's not far; there it is in fact," he said, a few moments later. "Look, we'll get you cleaned up. Something to eat and then..." He pulled the car up to his room and shut the engine off. "Then you can tell me what really happened."

"Arntzen," lied Alex, glibly. "Valery Arntzen. Call me Val." He'd breathed a sigh of relief as the Impala picked up speed and leant his head back against the upholstery, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

God, but he was tired, and his skin crawled with the slime that covered it. The substance seemed to burn his skin, and he looked at Dean with genuine gratitude when the other man suggested food and getting clean. His clothes were soaked in the oily residue, but at least he would be able to get the stuff off his body, and who knew, perhaps he'd be able to bum some clothing from Dean - they were after all very similar in size.

As Dean stopped the car, Alex turned to Dean. "Man, don't think I'm not grateful - you'll never know just how grateful I am, but I've told you everything. It was like one minute I was in that bathroom, and the next minute I was screaming my lungs out, trying to get someone to hear me in that hell-hole."

Dean had done a double take to the name. Valery was a strange name – even stranger than the aliases he usually picked for himself. "Okay, Val is easier," he nodded. He looked the man over then thought he better not press him just then. The man was traumatized. He would be hungry too, Dean was sure. Getting out, he went around to help the man out, closing the door and supporting him to the room. Once inside, he guided him to the bed.

Heading into the bathroom, Dean came back with a towel, then stood before him. "Why don't you tell me everything you remember? Any little detail, no matter how strange it might seem, because there has to be a reason for this," He swiped a finger over the oil on Alex's neck, showing him what he'd collected.

The stuff on Dean's finger made Alex gag helplessly. He lifted his eyes to Dean's, doing his best to look as harmless and scared as he could. "Could I... do you think I could get a shower?"

He needed to get the shit off him - it felt like every pore was clogged with the black, disgusting residue, and he thought that he might start to scream and tear at his skin, if he couldn't wash it away very soon.

Dean nodded as he wiped his finger on his jeans, "Shower, sure."

At Dean's nod of assent, Alex rose to his feet and started to take off his clothes, black jeans and leather jacket, T-shirt and boots, finally kicking the things into the corner of the room as if to say he was never going to touch them again. Standing there, naked but for his boxers, he gazed helplessly at Dean.

"Like I said, Hong Kong airport. The woman had black eyes, which was peculiar, but other than that I don't know. She was very strong - lifted me off the ground with one arm, and I'm no lightweight."

He stepped towards the bathroom as he spoke, and turned back as he reached the door. "This shit on me is burning my skin. Got to get rid of it."

Dean held out the towel while the man undressed, unable to help his eyes wondering over that body. He took a moment to glance sideways at the clothing pile in the corner before sliding his eyes back to where Alex stood. What he hadn't expected was the helpless gaze that greeted him. He had almost winced, because it was very nearly the same look Sam always gave him, and he always, always fell for it.

"Go knock yourself out," Dean tossed him the towel, now distracted over the fact of black eyes and strength. He walked over to the clothing and lifted it up, looking the items over, taking a sample of the material to place it into a little glass container. He would send it off for analysis to one of the connections he and his father knew.

He moved over to the table while the man was taking a shower. "Christo," he murmured, recalling what his dad had said about possessions. It was obvious to Dean that the man had been possessed. Some people didn't remember, if they were rescued, and others did; it really all depended on the person. The black eyes, and the strength confirmed a possession, and the demon could be any of the ones he had listed in his journal. Damn, but he wished John Winchester were here, so he could check his dad's journal out. Hell, that man knew everything there was to know about possession, and he probably wouldn't even need the journal to know what had bitten his new companion; he'd just look at Valery and be able to tell, although that oily residue was a really unusual phenomenon.

The oily substance baffled Dean; he was unsure what kind of demon might leave such a thing behind. He looked back to the bathroom door, frowning deeply before grabbing the phone and ordering some take-out for delivery.

Part 2: When Hunger Calls

The autumn leaves that jewel the ground, they know the art of dying
And leave with joy their glad, gold hearts in scarlet shadows lying
When hunger calls my footsteps home the evening follows after
I swim the seas within my mind, while pine trees laugh green laughter
"October Song," by the Incredible String Band.

In the shower, Alex had turned the water up as hot as he could bear it and was scrubbing himself furiously in an attempt to get the oil off his skin. Normally a shower like this would have been seen as a luxury to savor, but for Alex today it was merely a way of losing the foul stuff and re-claiming himself, putting the silo behind him.

He shampooed his hair and then reluctantly climbed out of the shower once more, noting that his skin was scarlet where he'd scrubbed, but feeling much better even so. He risked using Dean's toothbrush, not wanting to ask in case he was told that he couldn't, and then breathed a sigh of relief as he finally stopped tasting the filthy, oily substance that had apparently pervaded his every pore.

At last he felt human again. Wrapping a towel around his hips, he ran his fingers through his wet hair and turned to push the door open and emerge, clean once more.

"God, that felt good," he said. "Thanks, man. You know I appreciate it?"

Dean looked up from writing in his journal just as the bathroom door opened. Green eyes blinked slowly at the wet man in the towel who stood there. Shit! Dean knew he shouldn't be thinking this, but that body was hot, hot, hot!

That was it, Dean knew he needed to find a bar soon and get laid.

He shifted in his chair, "I can tell." He got up, walking across and looking the guy over, "Good thing the wire brush wasn't in there; you might have used it." He moved past him, digging in his bag for a pair of jeans and a shirt and tossing them to Alex, "See if you can fit into those. If not, I'll go out and see if I can find you something."

He made his way to the safe area across the room, sitting back down and making more notes. "While you were in there trying to scrub to the bone, you think of anything else you might have remembered?" He tipped his head towards the man. "I got food coming."

"I dunno." Alex could see the way that the man was looking at him, and for a moment, his eyes gleamed at the thought that there might be a little recreation later on that evening. He licked his lips, smiled his thanks and dropped his towel as he took a seat to pull on Dean's jeans. Pulling them up took him a couple of seconds, and he smiled as he fastened them, tucking his genitals in with a wink to Dean. "Maybe there was something else. When I came to, it was like there was stuff pouring from my eyes and nose, coming out of my mouth too. I couldn't see it, because it was black as the hubs of hell, but it felt greasy and tasted disgusting."

He reached for the T-shirt and pulled it on over his head, stretching to tug it over his chest. "Food would be wonderful. I could probably eat grass, I'm so hungry. I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you." As he spoke the words, he let his gaze travel down over Dean's body, allowing his eyes free rein. Dean was very attractive, with a mouth even more exotic than Mulder's, and Alex suddenly felt himself quicken inside the borrowed jeans at the thought of tasting it.

Dean had to fight to keep from watching the man dress, but he shot a glance here and there. At one point, Dean wasn't sure if this man might have winked at him. Dean was used to women flirting with him, but men? That was new in Dean's book. However, as the handsome, green-eyed man started talking, Dean listened more intently. "Eww," Dean made a face, then shivered as he turned back to add that to his notes. This was definitely something new – something neither he nor his dad had run across. He might have to make another call or two.

"No grass, but there might be cat or dog; it's Chinese food." Dean leaned back then on an afterthought pushed up to go to the little fridge. He pulled it open and retrieved two beers, offering one to his companion, "Here, this might help with that taste in your mouth." Popping the top of his own, he leaned back against the cheap dresser. "You don't have to repay me. Just tell me where you want to go, and I'll take you back." He took a swig of his beer. "I'm sure you have someone who is missing you."

Alex gave Dean a smile from which innocence shone. "I think not," he said, softly. "I'm what you might call a lone wolf. My family is long gone, and the only person who might hope to meet up with me hates my guts."

"Bummer," Dean commented, taking another drink while the green eyed man was speaking. He concentrated on trying to read the guy. His dad had always been better at that than him. John Winchester could figure people out with just a glance, because people were another one of those pattern things. The interpretation of patterns was John's real skill.

All unaware of the thoughts running through his rescuer's brain, Alex was opening the beer that Dean had handed him. He raised it to his lips, eyes fastened on Dean as he did so. "I was investigating a theft. Guess you could call me a private eye," he announced, thinking that might cover any possible slip ups he might make. "Don't really have anyone that looks out for me." He sighed, face a picture of regret. "You know how it is, Dean, I can tell. You're in the same business as I am - all I have to do is look at your face to know that."

"Theft. Out there." Dean nodded as he took another drink. He had to chuckle as he pushed away from the dresser. "You need a partner, buddy." He smirked at the look on the other man's face, because his words were ironic. The two people he'd always looked out for were gone. They'd both left him. Sam, his younger brother, had left him to go to college, fed up with the life of hunting and with home life in general. His father had sent him away to work his own missions, and Dean was getting the sense that it was a gradual push away, because Sam wasn't there any more. The only things his father had given him were his beloved car and a cell phone. So in a way, Dean kind of knew how things were.

"Yeah, a theft," agreed Alex without elucidating further. "Guess I lost the trail, what with one thing and another."

Dean drew a breath; he didn't believe a word this man was saying. They were miles from nowhere, and who the hell would steal anything then bring it out here? So alarms were going off for Dean, and it seemed that he was his father's son after all.

Setting his bottle to his lips and tipping the beer back, Alex drank, allowing his powerful throat muscles to work their charm. Placing the half-empty bottle down once more, he smiled at Dean again, guileless and innocent as you please. "I feel so full of life after thinking I was dead. Do you suppose that it's a kind of reaction to nearly dying that makes me want to have sex after being in danger of my life?"

As the thoughts flickered through Dean's head, his own bottle was pressed to his lips, his eyes upon the other man's, and how it tipped, how those throat muscles were moving. He gave a quick lick to his lips then tipped the bottle again, nearly spitting his beer out at Alex's next words. "You coming on to me?" He gave Alex that look of his before turning and setting his beer down on the small table near his papers. "Dinner will be here soon. After we eat, if you still feel like plowing some fields, maybe we can find a local bar for some prospects."

Alex set his empty bottle down on the table, placing it precisely on the patterned Formica. "I wouldn't call it 'coming on to you' exactly," he added, thoughtfully. "Think of it more as a polite inquiry." He moved towards Dean, who was sitting in one of the chairs beside the table and moving to stand between his knees, a guileless smile on his face. "Because I most definitely need a partner, and I like green eyes. You know where you stand with green eyes."

He reached down to tip Dean's chin up so that he could examine the handsome face, lips pursed as he took inventory. "See, I'm very picky, but when I meet someone that meets my standards, I'm also very good… very good indeed. Lucky you."

Dean had tipped his head just a bit, lounging in the chair as Alex moved toward him. The other man was now standing between his knees, and he couldn't help but feel the heat in his body building, because that shirt was much too tight on his guest. Looking up, he smirked. "Must be because you have green eyes too, I take it."

The fingers touching his chin burned. And as Alex took inventory, so did Dean. "Lucky me," he repeated, pursing his lips. Just then the door was rattled by a knock. Dean reached for his wallet, pulled out some money then handed it to Alex, "Dinner. Wine and dine, then we'll see, if we aren't both too fat and tired to talk about plumbing."

Nodding, somehow pleased at what he saw, Alex took the money and turned to the door. A short conversation later, he returned bearing the bags of food. "Oh, man!" he murmured, inhaling the scent that was coming from the bags. "I think I've died and gone to heaven."

He set everything on the table and turned to look in the cupboards for plates. "I can't tell you the last time I ate this well. You know the clichè about the impoverished private eye? Well, I'm here to tell you that it's all true."

Passing the dishes over to Dean, Alex began to take the order out of the paper bags. "Okay, you put it out. You bought it."

While the man was gone, Dean had taken the opportunity to clean up the mess on the table, putting all the papers and his journal away. Let this man think he was some private-dick, there was no need for him to know Dean was actually a hunter.

Table cleared, Dean stood up to look in the bag. They seemed to have gotten everything. Rice was present as was the pork fried rice which would do for later or leftovers since Dean figured he might be here a few days. He set out the chicken, then the steak and veggies and rice.

"There you go, dig in!" Dean took a piece of steak and started nibbling on it as he stepped back. "So... What was stolen? And this woman - the one with the black eyes, did she say anything at all to you?" He glanced over at the door, frowning, then pushed up while Alex was serving himself and went to his bag, pulling out a large can of salt. Moving to the door, he started to pour a ring. If this man was possessed, (and who was to say he wasn't now?) Dean wanted to be protected. Once the door threshold was protected, he turned his attention to the windows, salting them next.

"The woman with the black eyes?" Alex wasn't concentrating. His eyes slid to the food, but he did shake his head. "No. For a start, I didn't really know she was there until she had hold of me. Once she had me by the throat, I don't remember anything else."

Alex was drooling. The smell of the food was almost intoxicating in his famished state. He loaded his plate with rice, chicken and vegetables and began to eat, closing his eyes in bliss as he allowed the taste to permeate his senses.

"Oh, jeez, Dean, you have no idea..." Alex had arched his neck, head back as he sampled a little of the ginger chicken. "You've saved my life a couple of times over." He suddenly noticed what Dean was doing and frowned, trying to decide whether or not his new companion had suddenly lost his mind. "Uh... listen, guy. It's your room, and live and let live, but is there some reason I don't know about that makes you want to pour white stuff on the rug?"

Dean watched as Val/Alex took the food onto his plate. Lots of it. The man must have been starving, which told Dean he must have been in there a while. He found it a little hard to believe that this man didn't remember traveling in his own meat suit. With most possessions, the person was along for the ride, aware of what was going on, there were very few that weren't.

Returning the salt can to his bag, Dean smirked. "I heard a little spilt salt is good luck. Maybe this much will get me really lucky." He came back to the table, fixing his own plate and giving no further explanation. He sat down and looked at the guy who was eating ravenously. "So what kind of theft were you investigating that took you to Hong Kong? And has this happened to you before?"

"Happened to me? Hell, no." Alex shot Dean a veiled glance under his lashes. It seemed as if the man was trying to pump him about the DAT tape, and he suddenly felt a little nervous. Perhaps Dean was a clever plant by Cancerman. Come to think of it, why would the guy have fed him, given him clothes from his own wardrobe and brought him here rather than just turning him loose. Alex frowned. This needed investigation.

And he needed a fix. He really did. He could feel his hands shaking, and the chills were already starting. He thought quickly, seeking a plausible reason for being in Hong Kong, and starting to sweat.

"I... There was a tape that I was couriering for a third party. It contained important information, and it was supposed to be going to a particular organization; I was the middle man for the transaction. It's gone, and I never got to deliver it. I'm betting that there'll be a price on my head before too long."

Dean seemed uninterested in the true purpose of the item Alex had been carrying. Instead he just nodded as he took another bite of food. "Look, I don't care what was on the tape, who it was to go to or why." He set his plate down as he leaned forward. "I just want to know if this could happen again to someone else and stop it from happening, if I can."

"I think you were possessed by something. It rode you back here, but why I don't know? I think there is more you aren't telling me. You told me first you were investigating a theft, and now you say you were a courier? I just want to know what else you aren't telling me. Like where whatever was inside you went. When it came out of you did it vanish, go in a vent... what?"

"I told you before - it was dark. I didn't even see what it looked like, just felt that it was greasy and burned my skin." Alex set down the chopsticks he was using and looked at Dean, his face suddenly panicked. "Damned right I was possessed. I can't think of any other way to describe what happened. What I don't understand is how... or why."

He made as if to start eating again, and then suddenly turned pale. "And, God, please don't make me go back in there. Suppose it found me again. Suppose..." His voice dropped, and he looked positively panic-stricken. "Suppose I got locked in there again."

Dean sighed, murmuring, "Neither do I. Don't know how or why." He looked Alex over, reading the panic that he was projecting. There was fear in there, and he didn't really blame the man. "No, not taking you back there. Not going to let it happen to you again. If anything I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else."

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

Part 3: The Greatest Treasure

I used to search for happiness, I used to follow pleasure
But there's a place behind my mind, and that's the greatest treasure
For rulers like to lay down laws and rebels like to break them
While poor priests like to walk in chains and God likes to forsake them
"October Song," by the Incredible String Band.

Dean stared at the man for a quiet moment. There seemed to be nothing special about him, but then most demons were not picky on the people they possessed. But the reason why it had ridden Val from Hong Kong to here was baffling him. He wished his Dad were here right now. His father was good with patterns, with piecing things together.

"After you're done eating, why don't you lie down, get some rest? I'll... keep watch over you." He reached out, bumping the man with his leg, rubbing a bit, "Don't worry, I won't make you go near that place."

The reassurance was welcome, and Alex felt a great weight go from his mind. He began to eat again, stretching nonchalantly to press his leg closer to Dean's, finding the contact comforting as much as it was arousing.

"You won't go away, will you?" he asked, allowing a little panic to show in his eyes again. "I... I don't know how ready I am to be on my own."

Dean's own green eyes took in the man before him as he ate. In a way, the man reminded him of his little brother, Sam. The dark hair, a little long, hanging down in his eyes. Though the eyes were green, and Sam's were hazel, there was that little touch of fear, of vulnerability he'd seen so often in his brother. Dean feared that, if this man gave a pout, lowered his lashes then lifted them back up to look at him, he would feel that same tightening in his chest that he always did with Sam, and then he'd give in to whatever was asked. Dean felt the urge to push away as he always did to protect himself. To say something smart.

He had to divert his eyes, look out the window. "I really should go back out there but..." Shit, there was that look, and Dean could tell that physical contact was needed. "It can wait. Just relax, you're safe here. I'll... keep an eye on you." He stopped talking abruptly, aware that he had almost spilled the same words he was so used to telling Sam, that he would protect him.

"Look, you sleep on the bed; I'll keep watch, sound good?"

"The bed, right..." Alex looked at the bed, then back at Dean. "You don't have to stay up on account of my modesty. I don't mind sharing." Inside, he was screaming, wondering what to say or do to get this man to stay close to him. Sex might do it. He could seduce - that, after all, was what he did best. Very well then, seduction it must be. He'd fuck someone a whole lot less beautiful than Dean, if it meant that he didn't have to be alone in that bed tonight. Frowning, he turned back to look at his companion.

His eyes traveled the length of Dean, starting with his eyes and flicking down over his torso and back to meet his gaze. Pursing his lips, Alex smiled, wondering if his panic was showing through. "To tell you the truth, I'm kinda scared of the dark right now. I'm a big pussy, yeah?"

Dean took a bite of his food, noting the way his companion's eyes traveled over him. He shifted a little but didn't draw his leg away while he considered the idea of sharing. The only times he'd ever shared his bed had been when he and Sam were much younger, and he'd been protecting his precious brother, because there was reason to do so - reasons this man didn't know about. He wondered if he could bring himself to do it now with this panicked, pretty stranger.

"No, not a pussy," Dean bit back any smart-ass remark he might have blurted out. "There are... reasons to be scared of the dark. I know. When I was a kid growing up... I saw things." He left it at that. Not 'til he could trust the guy would he tell much more. "I told you I would watch over you, and I will. Hey, want another beer? Will relax you?" He got up and went back to the fridge to pull two more bottles out.

"Yeah, thanks." Alex smiled up at Dean as he took the bottle from him, allowing his fingers to close over Dean's and linger. "I think I really need to relax." He licked his lips as he popped the top on the beer. "Cheers, Dean," he murmured. "Here's to you, and your fortunate presence in that god-forsaken hole."

He drank deeply, tilting his head back and swallowing, then set the bottle down on the table and leaned forward to reach again for Dean's hand. "You could help me relax a little better, if you wanted to," he murmured, voice full of soft promises. "I'd make it worth your while."

As Alex's fingers came into contact with Dean's, lingering, Dean felt a burn go through him. He didn't let it show as he drew his hand back to pop the top on his own bottle. He walked around to sit back in his chair, lounging with legs apart, slouching in his seat. "Cheers." He raised his beer, watching as the other man drank.

It was almost like staring at a wreck, Dean couldn't take his eyes away as Alex tipped his head back and swallowed, muscles moving. Dean had to look away or his train of thought was going to head south rather quickly. It wasn't that he hadn't had one night stands before, although most of the time they were with women. He hadn't been with a man since...

Dean took a drink, his eyes going to the man as he leaned forward, reaching for contact again. Fingers brushed. And that voice. Dean looked down at their hands then back to Alex, "Risking a little here aren't you? How do you know I won't kick your ass for making such an offer?" He took his hand away from Alex's and quickly turned his own to capture his companion's wrist.

Dean set his beer down and leaned forward. "Listen," his voice was softer, "You don't have to do this." He stared into another set of green eyes. "But if it will 'relax' you, come here." Dean got up, pulling Alex to the bed. He took off his shoes then climbed on the bed, pulling Alex with him and to him, just to hold.

"You won't kick my ass," said Alex, certainty ringing in his voice. He grinned suddenly, his fear for the moment vanquished. "I'm not entirely defenseless, you know, and besides, a little pain is always good."

He gave a soft sigh as Dean pressed in against him, their heights a perfect match. Dean was warm, and Alex slipped his arms around him, tilted his chin inviting a kiss and lay looking at the man who had rescued him.

"Freckles," he whispered, voice a husky murmur. "I like freckles, and I know I don't have to do anything. I just want to. Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?"

Dean had given a little laugh at Alex's first words, and at least he'd managed to make the man smile, but it was still in the back of Dean's mind, the vexed question of why he had been brought to that location? What was so special about it? It would have to be looked into. Research was needed, and fast, and that meant contacting people, since his father was off doing his 'thing.'

"Well, yeah, I do." Dean smirked a little, drawn back from his musings as he felt the sigh and the press of the other man's body. He hadn't held anyone like this to comfort and make feel secure since Sam. Just like Sam as well, there was that tilt of the chin, lips slightly parted, wet by his own tongue.

Dean held Alex closer, burying his face into the man's neck, just nuzzling, letting his breath heat the area, and his lips rub against the beginnings of stubble despite his recent shave. "I'll admit you do smell good, now that you've showered."

"I taste even better," laughed Alex, sliding a hand down to fondle Dean's ass. "Why don't you sample?" He was beginning to feel safe, now that Dean was pressing against him, on familiar ground as he felt Dean growing hard against his thigh.

Fingers fumbled with Dean's T-shirt, reached under to skim the muscular back and trim waist, and Alex leaned in to nibble on Dean's shoulder, tongue painting small circles on the smooth skin.

"You feel good," he said, his voice a purr. "You make me feel safe as well as horny, and I can't think of a better way to feel right now."

Dean couldn't help getting hard. The man's body was warm, his hands wandering. It felt so good to be touched and needed. Perhaps that was why he always seemed to go for one night stands – He'd always done it with the exception of Cassie, and that had been a relationship which had gone to shit in very short order. With his fleeting relationships, he got the attention for a little while, and felt as if he was needed and wanted, even while knowing that it wouldn't – couldn't last. God knew he'd never felt that his father really needed him, and then there was Sam, who didn't need him either, and who had left him, gone away to college to try and live his famous 'normal' life.

Licking over Alex's neck, Dean stopped at his ear to nibble and paint with his tongue. His own hands wandered, scoping out the man's muscles. He sighed heatedly against Alex's ear, a leg curling over his companion's. Alex let out a little sound as he was touched, and when he talked about feeling safe, it sounded almost like something that Sam might have said. It made Dean press in closer. "How about drained and satisfied?"

Dean moved his body over Alex's, lowering his head to kiss him. Those lips had him groaning. It took every ounce of Dean's will to pull away and move down that body. His hands pushed up on the too-tight tee shirt. "Take this off!" He leaned down, biting at skin over the broad span of Alex's chest.

This was better – they were on a much more level playing field right now, and Alex chuckled, the laugh rumbling deep in his chest as he pulled the shirt over his head and off. "Your wish is my command." He reached down to tug at the hem of Dean's shirt too. "But you need to reciprocate, man; it's only fair."

Kisses followed, increasingly deep and wet. Alex let Dean lead them, his perceptions telling him that Dean got off on being the protector, and enjoying the chance to be seduced, cosseted and protected by this very attractive man. "And as for drained and satisfied, I'm aiming for that, but I hope it doesn't come too soon, because I can foresee a lot of fun in the mileage between horny and drained." He snickered again, reached down with his hand to slide fingers into Dean's jeans and squeeze the tempting flesh of his ass. "It's worth taking my time, because… well, because your mouth is probably the most incredible one I've ever seen, and I want to get my money's worth."

Pulling back slightly, Dean made enough room to allow the shirt to slip over his head, so that their chests were skin to skin. Alex was hot, heated by their contact, and so was Dean. He'd never thought he would be this way with another man beside Sam and yet here he was. Perhaps it was because Alex was pushing all the right buttons, that husky, honeyed voice whispering all the right words to pull at Dean's strings.

Dean used tongue and teeth, returning the kisses in just as heated a way as Alex. He gave a chuckle, "Well thanks, good to know I'm worth something to someone," it was a slip, and to cover it up Dean moved back, so he could move down the man's body. He kissed and sucked, pulling at flesh, groaning softly as his hand went down to cup Alex, gripping him firmly to feel his hard cock then rub. "You got a nice sized one." He looked up, "Let's set it free shall we?"

The slip hadn't gone amiss. So this guy has self-esteem problems, thought Alex. He frowned, totally unable to understand why. The man was gorgeous - incredible, with perfect teeth set in the hottest mouth he'd ever seen, and thick-lashed, moss-green eyes that were by turns laughing, concerned or flashing irritation beneath expressive brows. Alex could see himself getting addicted to him, if he wasn't careful.

And of course, Alex was always careful, but that didn't mean he couldn't savor the here and now. Dean's fingers were stroking his cock, and his mouth was nibbling, licking and tugging at his skin in a practiced, distracting way. He gave a gentle moan and set about appearing to be in need of protection, so that Dean would protect him all the way to an orgasm that he could tell even now was going to be stunning.

"You feel so good," he whispered, lips barely grazing Dean's ear. "I feel safe with you; you're so strong, so perfect." His mouth slid down over Dean's shoulder, nibbled the hollow at his collar bone, and licked up the column of his throat. His hand was wandering down, skimming the flesh of Dean's flat belly to find and start unfastening the button and zipper that held his jeans closed. "Want to feel you - want to get you hard for me."

Dean closed his eyes, the words cutting and digging in deep. It felt good – no, it felt great to be needed again. Wanted. Dean leaned into Alex's mouth, feeling his breath so heated upon his flesh. Alex's tongue gliding over his skin made him moan a little, his head lifting and tilting back.

He gave a little laugh, "Well, you won't have to work to hard for that." He rolled to the side, helping to get his jeans open, succeeding in fumbling them open, even though Alex's hand kept getting in the way. "Eager little bastard aren't you?" he chuckled softly, then gave up and jerked his jeans off, tossing them aside. "Your turn." He leaned in, biting Alex's neck, a hand caressing over his chest.

I must really need this, he thought. His cock was hard and wanting to be touched. He watched as Alex worked his own pants off. "Damn," he whispered at the sight of him, when at last he was naked.

"Damn is right," growled Alex, zeroing in on Dean's soft skin, skimming his hips, sliding his hands along taut thighs and stroking over the evidence of arousal that jutted from Dean's groin. "You are the most beautiful, sexy guy I've ever seen in my life."

He caught at Dean's hair, pulling him up, so that he could kiss him, the caress slow and sensual. "I want to make this last. Who knows when I'll ever feel as safe and protected again?" His mouth slid over Dean's lips; his tongue flickered along the soft tissues inside of Dean's mouth, and he nipped and nibbled as he lent himself to his companion, growing more and more familiar with the way that Dean responded.

"You're just saying that," Dean commented, as his hair was pulled. He let out a little growl as he kissed the man who was pulling him to his lips. Dean's mouth worked against Alex's, slow and sensual, little kisses alternating with deeper ones. "We have time," Dean whispered, stroking his hands over Alex's body as he explored it.

"Let me taste you," he whispered, mouth dragging down from ear to neck and down. "Want to see, if you're as juicy as I think you are." Slipping down the bed, he lapped at Dean's stomach, nipped at the indentation at his navel and slowly took possession of his cock.

Dean wanted to explore more, but his head was tipping back as that wonderful mouth worked its way down. "I could add a little salt to that," He laughed softly, referring to his earlier spilling of salt on the floor, although that was probably only funny to him. He hissed in a breath as his belly button was nipped, and shivered as Alex moved inexorably lower. Dean squirmed upon the bed, pushing up higher - not to get away, but to give Alex more room.

Opening his legs wider, Dean looked down, one hand upon the man's head, "Juicy, now that is a new one. I feel like a juice box now," he smirked then groaned as warmth surrounded him. "Fuck but you have a talented mouth."

"And you taste good enough to be the best dessert I ever had," murmured Alex, slicking up Dean's cock and then pulling back to lavish attention on the head of it. "You're right; we have plenty of time. I think I'd like to drag things out a little and see just how much you can take, before you start begging me to fuck you."

He smiled again, then began once more to suck and lick at the head of Dean's cock, a little worried that he might be coming on slightly too strong for a man who had been apparently freaking out. "You make me feel incredibly good," he husked. "You make me feel really safe, and I want to give you everything you ever wanted."

He bent his neck, his mouth working on Dean, then slowly pulled away. "There was this man once," he said. "I loved him - he had a beautiful mouth. Yours is prettier. Dean, I think I could love you, if I don't stop myself."

"You're just saying that because I saved your ass. I hear it's some kind of thing that happens, because you were rescued. You'll see his... mmm... mouth again and forget all about me. Besides, I tried love once..."

"Mmm, I don't beg... much," Dean groaned as he scratched blunt nails over Alex's scalp. Fuck but Alex was doing a really good job at working him up. He shifted a little then froze as Alex sucked first upon his crown and then the rest of him. He swallowed hard, feeling like his eyes were going to roll back in his head, while his fingers gripped the pillows. Dean hadn't had a blow job like this in a long while. The women he had been with lately didn't usually bother, and though they were always fun, they weren't usually as skilled as this man he'd rescued. His head thumped back against the headboard. "Val... fuck me..."

"It would be my pleasure," whispered Alex pulling off and moving up again so he could purr his words into Dean's ear. "You're special, man, despite what you say." His wet tongue slid into the ear he was attacking as his hand slid down to take over where his mouth had left off. "Do you have anything, or shall we go bareback? I'm clean."

He was trembling at the thought of Dean lying like a banquet for him to feast on. "You'll have a great time, Dean. I'll make it worth your while, I promise. I love your mouth, and you're beautiful. I want you so badly."

Dean had closed his eyes as Alex washed his ear with his tongue. He felt like he couldn't breathe. The air was thick around him, and he was trying everything he could to take in enough air. He barely understood what Alex asked, and he could only look at his jeans on the floor, unable to form a coherent thought. "Bareback. Just fucking bareback. But I swear, I get anything, I am hunting your ass down and kicking it all the way to the hospital." His words were severe, but the kiss Dean gifted him with belied them.

Pulling away from that sucking kiss, he moaned, shifting as he wiggled under Alex. He pulled his legs up and back, opening up to the man then pulling him down to kiss again. "Want me, have me, while I still let you," he smirked and kissed him again more deeply. Dean just wanted to feel him, be numb for a while and feel needed. Alex was doing a wonderful job at helping him with that.

Alex hadn't expected Dean to say yes, but the response he got from Dean sent the blood singing in his ears. Dean was completely delicious, beautiful and desperate, spread out for him, and Alex lost no time in taking advantage of the fact.

Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, Alex registered the fact that Dean was still showing evidence of an inferiority complex, but he filed it away for later consideration. Now was all about the wet, messy kisses, the slide of skin over skin, and the slow sinking of his cock into the welcoming heat of Dean's body.

Burying himself in Dean's flesh, Alex wrapped a hand around the younger man's cock and began to jack it in time with the flexing of his hips. He couldn't stop looking at Dean, those brilliant, green eyes darkened as Alex fucked him, the full, kiss-plumped lips drawn back as Dean gasped for breath. The man was utterly delightful, and Alex decided then and there that this ought to be more than just a one night stand.

Dean's body was ready and eager. Yes, it hurt at first, but Dean bit back the pain. He only let out a grunt, a gasp at the initial burn and another as it began to ease while Alex slowly entered him, filling and stretching till no more could be taken. His head pushed back into the bedding under him, one hand gripping at the sheets, twisting and pulling, while the other gripped the upper part of Alex's arm.

Alex's hand was doing wonders, the slide taking away all thoughts from him. The blood rushed through him, pounding in his ears, drowning out the rest of the world. Dean allowed himself to get lost in the moment, kissing the man over him as he was being fucked. Leaving go of the sheets, Dean slapped his hand up against the headboard and used it for balance and to keep from sliding on the bed, because each thrust of Alex's hips against his ass was driving him higher and higher 'til he was in danger of banging his head.

"Not long... just a little... oh shit!" Alex had moved his hips just right, hitting that sweet spot men had. Dean felt his insides turn to mush, and he closed his eyes with a deep groan, "There... oh fuck... right there..." His grip upon Alex's arm nearly was bruising. Dean suddenly felt his body still, his release slam into him, and he was suddenly making a mess of his own body and Alex's hand.

And oh, God! Dean was convulsing around Alex, sucking the juices out of him, wet, and messy, and slippery, and tight and wonderful. Alex plunged into Dean, locked his hips tight, sucked on the other man's tongue as though he were starving, and felt his body melt, pour itself into Dean, shivery bliss rocking him with every little jerk and twitch of his cock.

He collapsed onto the other man's chest and lay panting, unable to do anything but try and regain control of his breathing.

"Oh, God," he gasped, when he could finally talk again. "Do you know what you just did to me? I think you killed me. That was quite the most incredible experience I ever had. It was worth getting stranded in that place, just so I could meet you." Dean was spent, his body trembling, legs quaking against the man's body. His body was heated from release, sweat beading upon him, smearing into the sticky jism that had come with his release. He dropped his hands to his sides, allowed his limp legs to remain where they were, wrapped around Alex's waist and did his best to get his breath back to normal.

"I bet you say that to all those you meet like this," Dean mumbled.

"You'd better believe it!" Alex gave a shout of laughter at his words and kissed him again, hard and intense. "Every last one of them, and may I say that of them all, you are the best." He grinned, his white teeth gleaming in the lamplight. "Seriously, I could fall for you, man. You've got it all - Chinese food, classic car, great music and a hot ass. What more could I ever want?"

"A cookie?" Dean added, "And you forgot the beer." His lips still burned from their kisses, and his head was still spinning as well, but he wanted to lower his legs, so he pushed gently at Alex, "Get off me, you horn dog," He smiled a bit as he slowly rolled them to their sides and pulled Alex from him.

Free, Dean rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom, running the water to clean up. "I have a few more questions for you," he shouted, then came back out with a hot washcloth and tossed it upon Alex, "You mentioned someone... a Mulder. Who is he? Did he know about what was riding you?"

Dean sat down upon the bed, grabbing at his clothing to pull on at least his underwear and try to erect some kind of barrier between himself and what had just occurred.

"Come on back to me, and I'll tell you all about Mulder," murmured Alex, running his finger down Dean's spine and then rolling to kiss the dimples at the base of it. "You're running away from me, and I miss you already."

He reached to pull Dean back against him, laughing softly. "Let me see; what can I tell you about Mulder? He hates me, for a start, and he's got a mouth that's almost as perfect as yours. Mulder's a fed, my young friend. He's a fed who would dearly love to... actually, I suspect he'd like to kill me, but that's because he used to be my lover, and he feels slighted."

Dean glanced over his shoulder to Alex, stood to pull his underwear back up, then moved, saying nothing about the comment that he was running away. Dean always did that, one way or another. Since Cassie, he had tried very hard not to let himself be vulnerable, and had relied heavily on his father's rules of engagement, the first one being, 'don't ever get attached.'

Climbing back onto the bed, Dean settled with his back to the headboard and one leg bent as he pulled Alex against him, hand rubbing over his back. He gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes. He hated authorities of any kind. "Fed, great." The words were grumbled out. "What does he do?" he asked, wondering if he really wanted to know. "Will he be coming back out here looking for you?"

"Would I care?" Alex smiled again, a predatory smile that spoke of his confidence. "He won't find me, and I don't think he'll even know that I was there - I mean, why would he? I don't even know why, and I was the one in the hole." He slid a hand along Dean's chest, pausing to circle a coppery nipple with his finger before dragging his hand over the shoulder and up to find and trace Dean's mouth.

"He and I were over and done with long ago, and now the only reason he chases me around is because he can't let go. He's in charge of a stupid little department in the FBI that investigates paranormal activities. How bizarre is that?"

Dean started thinking again. Why would something possess this man and bring him out to Fargo, at the ass end of the universe? And there had to be a reason his father had sent him here. He must have known or guessed something about a possession. John was a fucking genius when it came to those kinds of things. Of course he always left it for Dean to figure it out. But still... why? And was this thing a demon and... was it tied to the Winchester family in any way?

Dean wondered if he had sounded jealous, asking about Mulder, even though he was really just trying to piece things together. He reached up and moved his talisman back onto his chest. "Paranormal activities? Didn't know the FBI was into that or even cared." He smiled inwardly, thinking about the stories he could tell, the evidence he had, and all his own notes in his journal. Dean pulled Alex tighter to him, "What do you think of what he does?"

"The FBI doesn't care. Mulder's the one that cares. He thinks that the world is going to be taken over by little green men from outer space, and he's looking for proof." Alex veiled his eyes, hoping that Dean would take his scornful tone as evidence that he didn't believe in the existence of aliens. "He's been given the X-Files - that's what the department is called - to keep him out of the way. People laugh at him, you know."

He paused. "What do I think? I have an open mind. Something brought me here, didn't it? And I don't know what it was. I think I'd be fucking stupid to ignore any possibilities at this point, although I swear to god that if there were aliens around, I didn't see any."

Leaning into Dean a little, Alex continued to caress the soft skin over the other man's flat stomach. "And I didn't get the anal probe..." He waggled his eyebrows. "...yet!"

Dean veiled his eyes, then gave a chuckle, "You are about as bad as me." He turned his mouth to Alex's and kissed him. "Get some sleep, but I need to go back out there in the morning. Hopefully I won't run into anyone while I'm out there."

Dean wasn't sure about little green men coming to take over the earth, but he knew about other things. He'd been aware of them pretty much since he was four. He also found it kind of laughable that an FBI agent - or the FBI for that matter - hadn't found anything. Nobody had ever found any evidence of what he and his family had been fighting all these years.

"What do I think?" Dean gave a chuckle, "Well I don't believe in little green men but..." He sighed, "There are things out there. Paranormal things. And I'm thinking... you were possessed for some reason. By what... I don't know."

"Possessed? That's such an old fashioned word." Alex frowned. "I guess you're right though. What would it be? The ghost of some soldier trying to get home from a foreign land? If I were the soldier, I think I'd rather stay in Hong Kong." He looked at Dean, his face expressing the bafflement he was feeling. "And just where the hell is this, anyway? I don't even know where I am, and that sucks."

"We're out in the middle of nowhere. North Dakota, Fargo." Dean lowered his head to Alex's neck and started kissing it softly. "Don't worry though, I'll protect you. I'll take care of you." Dean paused, "Till you are ready to go home."

Alex hugged Dean close, and there was tension in his arms as he fell silent. It was a moment before he spoke again. "I... I guess I'll go with you, if you've got a gun I can borrow. Two of us are probably more use than one. I can watch your back."

"You don't have to go." Dean answered and then stroked Alex's arm to try and get him to relax again. "I have been doing this a while, I can take care of it." he considered the situation for a moment, "Although, if you insist, I got guns. I got what we need when we go back."

"I can't let you go in there on your own," said Alex, letting a little panic bleed into his voice. "Suppose you end up trapped, like I was?" He pulled Dean against him, arms suddenly tight around his body. "I can't just sit here and wait - I'd feel like a girl or something."

The hand that had been caressing Dean's stomach slid up to cup his cheek, and Alex stared into Dean's eyes, willing him to listen. "Whatever got me is still in there. You don't want it to take you, do you?" He lowered his lashes again. It had suddenly occurred to Alex that he might have to kill this beautiful boy, if he discovered too much, and that thought was not something he welcomed. He would have liked to hang out with Dean for a while, he was not only gorgeous, but he had a good brain, and he was a wonderful fuck. Alex didn't want to waste any of that. "I don't want it to take you, anyway," he murmured and bent to suck a hickey into Dean's neck.

Dean gazed back into Alex's eyes, doing what he thought Alex was willing him to do. "No, I don't want it to take me, but I have to stop it from taking others." He gave Alex a sudden grin. "Hey, don't worry, it's not gonna take me away. I've done this kind of thing before," and then moaned softly as Alex left his mark on his neck.

"Okay, okay, you can come with me," Dean tried to assure Alex, but he knew he would have to tell Alex more when the time came. He didn't particularly want to tell him about what he did and how he did it. That was something his father had told him never to do if he could possibly avoid it. However Dean was starting to feel like he had little choice. This man was scared. But whatever it was that had taken him, Dean had to stop it.

"Why don't you get some sleep, okay? We'll talk more in the morning," He pulled back from Alex for a minute, to look at him and then kissed him deeply. "Now sleep," he whispered.

Despite Alex's worries, it was really easy to fall asleep in Dean's arms. His belly was full, his body still tingled from the very welcome exercise, and he was tired, so tired.

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

Part 4: No Way of Knowing

I met a man whose name was Time. He said, "I must be going."
But just how long ago that was, I have no way of knowing.
Sometimes I could murder time, when my heart is aching
But mostly I just stroll along the path that he is taking.
"October Song," by the Incredible String Band.

Alex's sleep was fitful. Strange, ugly images paraded through his dreams, bright lights and men screaming as they died, but it was well past dawn when he awoke. His first instinct was to dive out of the suspiciously soft bed and run, but slowly his memory of the previous evening returned, and he relaxed, reaching for his companion, only to find that the bed beside him was empty.

"Dean?" He yawned and sat up, wondering if the other had gone back to the silo without him. "Hey, buddy, you there?"

Dean had fallen asleep straight away as well, but he hadn't had any dreams, fitful or otherwise. It was true that he sometimes had nightmares, but this night he slept like a baby. He had curled himself up against Alex, soothing him much as he used to soothe his little brother. That action had brought its own share of guilt, and when morning finally came Dean was up like a shot, showered and out the door to get some coffee.

He had hoped to return before Alex woke, but just as he was coming in, jean jacket over his shoulders, bag of donuts in one hand and two coffees in the other, he heard that voice.

"I'm here, Val; don't panic." Dean set the cups down and went over to sit on the bed, reaching into the bag for a donut. "Got donuts and coffee," he murmured, offering one to his erstwhile bed partner. "As soon as you are ready, we can head out to the silo." He reached over to take a drink of his coffee as he was speaking, not looking at Alex.

The coffee was really welcome, although his words were not. Alex sipped gratefully, and he couldn't help watching with a smile as Dean stuffed his face with donuts. "You like donuts, yeah?" He hopped out of the bed and headed to the bathroom to wash up, before dressing swiftly in his borrowed clothes.

Dean gave a shrug, "It was what was available." Dean was used to getting what was available. Throughout his childhood Sam had usually had the first of everything, purely because he, Dean, couldn't resist him when he pulled his puppy-dog face. There had been a mountain of pancakes, waffles, the Lucky Charms that had all gone to his baby brother throughout their childhood. Dean would only get some, if his dad was there to make sure they had equal parts, and Dean guesses, when he thinks about it at all, that he's making up for all the lost snacks just because he can.

It was raining outside, a cold, unpleasant drizzle that made the world look grey. Alex shivered as he peered out of the window. "Okay, let's do it," he said softly. "You were gonna lend me a gun, yeah?"

Dean had been drinking his coffee as Alex showered, and now he stared out the window wishing it would stop raining. It was going to be a wet, cold day. Lifting his head as Alex came out of the bathroom, he nodded. "Yeah, it's in the back of the car." He got up, heading out and locking the door before going around to open up the trunk.

The Impala's trunk appeared empty at first, but as he reached for the latch at the bottom and opened it, the contents were revealed. First he tossed an old jacket of his brother's to Alex, and then Dean grabbed one of the shotguns, propping the lid of the trunk open with it. He reached down, pulling out a gun and checking it. He grabbed a clip, checked that as well and smiled. "Pure, wrought-iron rounds will drive any spirits away." He handed it over to Alex and grabbed another to shove in his own pants, then took some holy water and held it out to Alex, "We'll need that." He studied Alex, trying to decide whether or not he would need to make lengthy explanations, and deciding that it wouldn't hurt to give Val a little information. Taking a deep breath, he launched into an explanation.

"I'm a hunter; I hunt the paranormal; I help people and save lives. The pay is crappy when there is any at all, but, hey, I get to shoot guns." He closed the trunk after loading up his bag with more weapons and a bunch of flares, then he moved around to the driver's side and got in. "I know it may seem strange to you, Val, but I don't think I'm any stranger than your ex."

"Strange? Well, maybe a little strange, but wow, how cool!" Alex's eyes had widened at the sight of the stuff in the Impala's trunk. "You're a cool guy as well as a hot one, aren't you?" He gave Dean a grin and climbed in beside him, checking the gun he'd been given all over again.

"Hmm... nicely maintained. You're good, aren't you? Tell me, Dean, do you ever get the urge to look outside of the supernatural for your fun?" Alex spoke nonchalantly, but he cast Dean a sideways glance. It had occurred to him that Dean would make an excellent recruit, and that he would stand much more of a chance going up against the Consortium with this young man at his back. "Especially if there was...pay?" he added.

Dean glanced over at him as he started the car and turned on the radio. "Of course they're well maintained. Gotta keep the tools working. I just cleaned them all last week." He smirked as he pulled away from the motel and headed out the way they'd come the night before. At least it was daylight now, and the rain, though steady, was light. "As far as working outside the supernatural, I don't know? Like what?" he asked, turning his head to survey Alex. "Me and work... we don't get along. Means I have to stay around one place longer than I like. And usually work is... well it's work. I'd rather... well... something fun and easy is much more up my alley. A job... I couldn't come and go as I please, you know?"

"I do." Alex was warming more and more to this young man. "I don't like the daily grind either, but with the job I have, it's not a problem – I come and go as I want, and the profits are all mine. I don't share with any boss." He fell quiet then, getting nervous despite himself as they approached the silo. "You see anyone around?" he asked, peering through the rain-drenched windshield to try and spot the Smoker and his henchmen.

Dean parked close to the silo this time, peering about and then looking back at Alex, "Nope. No cars, no other tire tracks except ours." He pushed open the door to get out and closed it with the usual creak. Glancing over the car at Alex, he could see just how nervous the other man was about getting out to go exploring.

Clutching the gun Dean had given him, Alex emerged nervously from the Impala and stood nervously looking around. "Okay, you got any plan for this? What are we looking for, and how will we know when we find it?"

"I have an EMF meter; it will tell us if something is around. Also, if there's any sort of presence about the lights will flicker, so trust me, you'll know." Dean walked around the car and grabbed Alex's hand, pulling him away from the car, then turned on the flashlight and handed it to Alex. Bending his head, he turned on his home-made EMF and started to explore, heading for the area where he'd found Alex. There was no response from his instrument.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not getting anything," Dean whispered back.

Watching Dean, Alex felt more and more impressed. The way he moved, the confident way he held himself, and the skills he seemed to have – all were things Alex possessed himself and admired in others. It was at that moment that Alex decided Dean would definitely be a keeper.

He followed in Dean's tracks, and tapped the young man on the shoulder. "Don't want to spoil the party, but suppose some big black cloud thing suddenly does come for us, what do we do? Shoot it? Run? Pray?"

Dean glanced over his shoulder at his companion, "Black cloud?" He thought a moment, "Both, run and shoot?" Turning, he looked about. "But I don't think we have anything to worry about. Nothing is about, or so it seems." Coming to a halt, Dean peered into one of the doors and then down the corridor, before he turned to face Alex.

Stopping, he shone his light down onto a cigarette butt. He moved over and crouched down, lifting it up. "Morley?" Dean looked back up at Alex, "You said you were alone, and this looks recent." He dropped the butt he'd been holding. "The demon might have hitched another ride. You didn't see anyone?"

Alex froze. "I… didn't see him, no." He paused, suddenly realizing that he'd made a mistake. "Uh… I… I think I know who that belongs to. I didn't see anyone, but somehow I'm not too astonished that he was there. He's evil."

It was time now. Alex had to decide whether to confide in Dean or put a bullet into his brain, and he was feeling conflicted. In the end, he did neither. Cursing himself for a fool, he stuffed his gun down the back of his jeans and moved in to put his arms around Dean, pressing his lips against the other man's cheek. "Let's get out of here, and I'll tell you. Trust me, you don't want that badass on your trail, and there's nothing supernatural about him; he's just evil."

Dean gave Alex a very confused glance, because it looked to him as if someone had been there since the time he'd rescued Alex, or possibly the thing had hitched a ride while his companion was still locked in the vault, but anyway, whatever had been here was now long gone, so what was this that Alex was spouting about this guy? He frowned at Alex, grabbed him and pushed him back against the wall, glaring at him.

"What are you not telling me? I think you know more than what you are saying." Dean had that look in his eyes - the angry look that said he thought that he'd been used. "Now suppose you tell me everything now or..." He threw a glance down the hall but looked back at Alex.

"I told you, he's nothing to do with possessions or demons. He's government black ops." Alex grabbed the front of Dean's jacket. "If this is something he's involved with, then the feds and the military are going to be crawling all over here soon; Mulder would be the least of our troubles." He gasped for breath. "Let's get out of here, before they catch us and disappear us for good. I'll tell you what I know, but we have to leave, right now."

He was towing Dean down the corridor as he spoke, and there was obvious panic on his face. "Please, Dean? Just… just trust me for long enough to get us both safe."

"Black Ops?" Dean rolled his eyes and tried to jerk away from Alex, but he was being pulled along and couldn't get purchase to get rid of the other man's grip. He followed till they got outside into the rain and then smacked Alex's hand off him, "Trust you? Trust you? Give me a reason? What of any of the shit you've told me was the actual truth, and how will I know you are telling me the truth now?"

"I should kick your ass," he mumbled as he pulled his keys out to climb back in the car not caring whether Alex followed or not. "This whole thing was..." As Alex climbed in, he started the engine, whipped the car around and set off back to the motel. His hand snapped over to grab Alex's collar, "Alright, what the hell is going on. What does your ex, if that is what he is, have to do with any of this, and who the fuck is this evil guy you keep babbling about? What the fuck did I save you from, and what did I unleash?"

"What makes you think I've lied to you? Every word I've said to you has been the truth." Alex was shouting now too, his irritation with the young man over-riding his fear. "And you can try and kick my ass, if you want, but don't hold your breath and make sure you've got plenty of salve, because nobody kicks my ass! Nobody!"

He paused, glowering at his companion. "I don't think that it's a demon or a ghost, so you're perfectly safe. I should've guessed that he'd be involved, when Mulder showed up. Those two are as thick together as fleas on a dog. It's got to have something to do with alien technology, because the guy with the Morleys is a high up in the government, and he's Mulder's arch nemesis – like Lex Luthor and Superman, you know. If he was around, sniffing, that means that Mulder found something. When the world went black on me, I was in Mulder's custody. I was telling the truth about not knowing anything 'til I came to in that place, but it looks like Mulder got involved and tipped his hand off to Spender, that's the smoker's name."

Dean glared at Alex, "You haven't been exactly truthful or forthcoming with your answers, picking and choosing what you want to tell me," he snarled back. "And truth to tell, I have plenty of salve, and I don't hold my breath. If I want to kick your ass, I will."

He stopped the car beside the room and got out. "I don't give a shit about aliens or little green men running around. Who's to say this whole government shit hasn't just been invented by you? That they did this... whatever to you with some secret shit they've been working on?" He motioned up and down Alex as they stood in the rain. "I just know what is real. And demons and ghosts, that kind of shit, they're real."

Dean turned and headed into the room.

Alex watched him go, a frown on his face as he tried to decide what exactly would convince Dean. Absently, he wondered when it had become important to him to convince Dean as he growled his frustration out and followed the other into the motel room.

"So just what do you think is going to be proof? What the fuck do you want me to do to convince you?" he snarled, fists balled. "You can't take my word for it, then fuck you, but don't come calling out to me, when you find yourself locked in there for good, or worse. I'll be long gone, safe and drinking tequila in some bar in Tijuana or something."

Dean was stuffing his clothing into his bag when Alex walked in. "Proof, how about a little green man walking in here? I'll believe what I see with my own two eyes. I don't trust the authorities, because all they ever do is lie through their teeth, and when they can't explain something they just make shit up. They are straight in with the lies when they fuck something up. Why would they bother to tell the truth?"

He looked to Alex, tilting his head to one side, "And I believe you already did that, but don't worry. I won't be calling you, Val... if that even is your real name." He put his hands on his hips. "You suckered me. I gave you nothing but..." He turned away. "I'm leaving. So enjoy your tequila and have fun in Tijuana. I hear the girls there can pick up fruit without using their hands."

There was a pang in Alex's gut that shook him – this was not how he usually felt about one night stands. He was slipping, getting sentimental in his old age, but there was something about Dean that spoke to him. Dean was like he'd been at a similar age. Growling, he strode forward into Dean's space and grabbed the bag out of Dean's hands, throwing it across the room.

Dean jumped as his bag was jerked from his hand and tossed across the room, his eyes flashing with anger.

"How the fuck did I sucker you? Just give me one friggin' clue, and I'll let you walk." Alex shoved, catching Dean's shins on the edge of the bed so that he lost his balance and knocking him back onto it, following him down to cover his body. "You found that butt end this morning. You found me last night. You think I locked myself in that place specially? Do you? Do you?" He gave a choking laugh and bent to bite at Dean's collar bone. "Just tell me how I lied to you. Just give me one instance of anything important that misled you."

Dean struggled under Alex, trying to push him off, but the man had him well pinned with his body, and all the struggling only had them rubbing together. "Fucking bastard," Dean hissed out. "I could have missed it the first time," he snapped, but he arched his head back as lips descended onto his skin, and teeth pulled. "I think you know more than you're telling." He pushed at Dean, trying to dislodge him and failing utterly. "He left you in there, didn't he? Whatever it was that rode you back here, he followed, locking you inside, because he knew what was inside you, didn't he? Go on; tell me I got it wrong."

"How the fuck can I tell you anything? I can guess that's what happened, but I don't fucking know. I didn't have any awareness of what was happening to me. I woke up in that... that place, and I had no idea how I got there. Why the hell don't you believe me? I didn't even have to tell you what the significance of that cigarette was. I could've kept it to myself, couldn't I?" Alex gave a jab with his hips as he spoke. "Well? Couldn't I?"

He shoved back, away from Dean, rising to his feet and stomping off to lean on the door. "So why the ego trip? I've been as honest with you as I could possibly be. Why are you acting like I killed your fucking hamster?"

Dean pushed up, rising to his feet. "Would you have told me any of it, if I hadn't found that cigarette? Would you?" He paced over. "You're playing cat and mouse with me." He shoved Alex's shoulders back into the door. "Maybe I should look up your little ex and see what he says? Huh? I don't like being lied to. Had enough of that from home." Dean gave Alex one final, scornful glare, then backed up.

"For God's sake, that's just it; I didn't lie to you. How would I have known anything, if you hadn't found the butt end? I could've kept it to myself, couldn't I, but I didn't." He crossed over to his clothes where they lie in the corner of the room. "Anyway, thanks for getting me out. Have a nice life."

Dean watched as Alex crossed the room, his body turning to follow the asshole's movements. He should just grab his bag and go. He should just cut loose, call his father and tell him the hunt was a bust. He should do a lot of things, but right now, Dean couldn't make himself move.

"Is this how you left him? So long, thanks for the good times." Dean caved at last and moved closer, blocking Alex's way, and as the other man attempted to push past him, Dean stood his ground. He took a breath. "I believe you, Val." He moved in closer, "But even with demon possessions, the person being ridden remembers and sees everything. And I've... I've never seen a substance like motor oil come from a person as a result of possession. Black mist, yes, but… It looked like someone gave you an oil change. And... I can't let..." Dean made a face as he looked to the side.

"And I can't let you go. Not without knowing you will be safe. Because, if that thing is still out there, you're an easy target." He looked back to Alex. "We need to find something to protect you."

Alex was stunned. He lifted his hands, wanting to touch Dean, pull him in and hold him. Damn, but the young man had really gotten to him, and he felt unaccountably soft and slightly stupid. Hands reached, touched, petted Dean's cheek, then were dragged forcibly away.

"I... I don't want to go." Well that was a good start. He felt as silly as he sounded, but it was true, and when exactly had he started to tell people the truth about himself? "I don't know what it was, but the oil stuff was all over me when it left. Maybe if we can talk to Mulder or one of the feds, we can question them about what it is, or maybe..."

For a moment he stood lost in thought, and then he beamed. "There's a possibility that we could... that I could find out. I know someone I could call."

Dean didn't move as Alex touched him, and any smart ass remark he wanted to let loose was bitten back - for a change. Instead he swallowed hard. His eyes stayed locked to the other man's, and he sighed in relief as Alex said he didn't want to go. He told himself that it would make it easier protecting him from another possession, if he was willing to stay.

"You're talking about kidnapping a federal agent. And as much as I hate the authorities, I'm also not ready to do time." Dean shook his head, but then he paused, "Who?" he asked, because he had his own sources too. "Because I think I know a way we can get some information as well." He thought for a moment, "If I can get a hold of an ID badge..."

"No, you wouldn't last five minutes inside, as hot as you are. You'd be at the mercy of every big baddie in the jail." Alex gave Dean a rueful grin. "You'd never walk straight again, baby." He ran his fingers along Dean's jaw, stroking his thumb over a cheekbone that was sharp as a knife and leant forward to brush a kiss over the full mouth. "I think I'd rather take care of you myself; you're special."

He smiled at Dean. "So do we have a truce? I know these freaky little conspiracy theorist dudes, who might be able to tell me what this oil stuff is all about, and they can certainly supply us with any kind of ID, and anyone else you can toss into the mix will be cool."

Dean wondered when it had happened. When had he let his guard down and decided not to push this guy away as if he were hot coals? Perhaps it was that look in his eyes that reminded him of Sam. Those little pouts, and the way he kept touching him, and... oh yes, the kiss. Dean found himself leaning into the kiss.

"Who is taking care of who?" he asked, pretending to think for a moment, then he nodded, "Truce, okay." He tipped his head to one side, "Conspiracy theorist? New source for me!" His informants tended more to be college people and other hunters. "Well, I know this guy who works for the airlines. Recovers crashes. He might be able to run some of that oil stuff through his lab."

"Okay, you contact your boys; I'll do mine."

It wasn't long before Alex was in touch with Frohike, and after overcoming the initial reluctance the Gunman had about talking to someone he thought of as a heinous felon - threats are always a real motivator, he thought - quizzed him about possible possessions. The information that the Lone Gunman had was very vague, but once Alex described the events he'd been a part of, Frohike began to describe the events he had heard from Mulder about the Piper Maru and about the seaman, Gaulthier.

"Sounds like it's the same phenomenon you've encountered, dude," murmured Frohike, sounding a little abstracted. "I know that Mulder was trying to find Gaulthier's wife, and that's what took him to Hong Kong. He's a little pissed that he lost you though. He really thought he had you, that time."

"They seek me here, they seek me there..." said Alex, not bothering to hide the smirk that infused his words. "Tell me more about the guys that were found dead of radiation burns when Mulder crashed."

"Yeah, there was oil all over the car. I'm guessing that the oil and the radiation burns are linked. Mulder said there were dead soldiers in that silo in North Dakota he was led to..."

"Mulder was in North Dakota?" Alex was careful to keep his voice level, but things were starting to fall into place now. "Okay, man, thanks for that. Talk at you later, k?"

Dean waited as Alex called his 'friend,' using his phone, since Alex didn't have one. He stood close to the man, trying to listen in on the call and making a face at how vague the incoming information was, thinking that perhaps Alex wasn't asking the right questions.

He couldn't help making the same face again at the comment of Mulder having Alex. Something inside him was gnawing at his gut and making it tight. He shifted, feeling somewhat uneasy, because 'til now that sick feeling was something he'd felt only with his brother - especially when Dad had told him that Sam had met a girl and had been dating her.

Dean grimaced at Alex, shaking his head to indicate he hadn't seen any bodies. So it seemed that someone had cleaned the place out. Dean frowned as he pulled away, waiting till Alex hung up the phone. "Never heard of a possession with radiation. I think, if this is a demon possession, it's out of my league. I'd better call Bobby in on..." As he was speaking, Dean heard his phone ringing.

He took the phone from Alex, answering it. The voice at the other end of the line seemed to have Dean standing a little straighter. "Yeah, I looked into it. I think it's more Bobby's specialty. I was going to call..." Dean paused then nodded, "Yes, Sir."

He moved away from Alex to his bag, grabbing a paper and pen out of it and started to make notes "Yes, Sir." Dean hung up his phone, blinking a little. "I need to head east, Naubinway, Michigan. Job up there." He looked at Alex. "I..." Dean didn't know what to say.

"Who's Bobby?" Alex raised one eyebrow at Dean and waited. To tell the truth, it wouldn't hurt at all for him to get lost for a few days somewhere unexpected, at least until the heat died down, and Mulder quit looking for him. He was sure that Mulder was looking for him - Frohike had said as much. If he could tag along with Dean 'til the trail was good and cold, and Mulder had taken himself back to DC, then so much the better.

"And what are you going after? A ghost?" He allowed a smirk to bloom on his face - an expression that would hint at disbelief. Fingers were raised to stroke Dean's cheekbone again. "Ghosts would be horribly cold company."

"Bobby's a family friend," Dean answered. He sighed softly through his nose, then stepped back, pulling on his jacket. "I don't know yet. That's why my dad is sending me up there. Some fishing boats went out and never returned - they were found crashed on the rocks, the crew dead. Something is causing it, and I need to go check it out."

Simple explanation. He looked up to Alex. "What? You don't believe me?" He looked away, "And you expected me to believe you about little, green, oily men. Fine, fair enough. Come with me." Dean gave Alex that look of his, a little challenge upon it.

"Hmm... let me see... head off out into the wilderness to wend my lonely way off to a rocky future, where people will be trying to kill me, because I lost the item I was supposed to be transporting, or go with you, and hunt ghosts and get laid a lot... Gee, what a choice. How to decide, hmmm...?"

Once his jacket was on, Dean lifted up his bag. He gave a chuckle to Alex's response, "Get laid a lot? Confident little bastard aren't you."

Alex grinned at Dean and moved in closer, so that he could feel Dean's warmth, feel his breath against his cheek. "I need to get myself some clothes. Maybe we can stop at a thrift store on the way to wherever the fuck it was that you're going, yeah?"

He didn't move when Alex moved closer, "Michigan, and I guess we can stop." He leaned in as if to kiss Alex before pulling away with a smirk and turning to leave. "Get your ass in the car, and, no, you can't drive." Leaving the motel for the last time, he threw his bag into the trunk and walked around to the other side to get in.

Part 5: Some Days It Don't Come Hard

Some days it don't come easy, and some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're breathing fire, and some nights you're carved in ice
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again
"Anything For Love," by Meat Loaf

Dean started the car, getting going once Alex was in position. "Get some more sleep; I'll wake you when we take a pit stop." He smiled to himself; his dad was gonna kill him, if he found out about this.

Laughing, Alex flipped Dean the bird as he settled himself in the car. "You think I'm gonna sleep with all those ghost stories to listen to?" Inwardly he was congratulating himself. The next few days, spent in Dean's company, promised to be not only arousing but interesting too.

"So tell me, oh Impala-wrangler, what do you think we're going to be doing, whenever we get wherever the hell we're going?"

Busy maneuvering the Impala out onto the two-lane blacktop, Dean threw a glance towards his companion before looking out of the window again, "Ghost stories?" he gave a little laugh and a shake of his head. The stories he could tell were many, but Dean wasn't going to be recounting them any time soon.

At least Alex hadn't called him Deano the way Sam had, back when he was a kid. If he'd done that, Dean would just have had to freak out. "What we'll be doing? The usual. Ask around. See what is going on. Look into a few things. Lie a little... A lot maybe. Once we find out what's causing it... We end it." Dean ran through the list like it was something he did every day.

"That okay with you? Making your skirt blow up, or the hairs on the back of your neck itch?"

"Just like that! You end it?" Alex could hear the confidence in Dean's voice, could sense the competence with which Dean approached his job. It intrigued him, and he found himself wanting to know how it would feel, if he let Dean fuck him.

Laughing, Dean glanced sideways at Alex again. "Yeah, just like that. Man, wish I had some coffee," he murmured to himself as he reached over to turn on the radio.

"I reckon I can handle anything you can. I'm not exactly a shrinking girl, but I'm interested in just how you end a ghost. You're not a priest in disguise, are you? If you are, it's a pretty damned good disguise!"

"We can debate the shrinking girl thing later," Dean said, with a smirk. "And, no, I'm not a priest. God, no!" Dean rolled his eyes. He had a feeling that he could be making the same mistake as he'd done with Cassie, but at least this guy wasn't slamming any doors in his face and yelling about how insane he was.

"There are different ways of killing ghosts. Depends on what kind of ghost it is. Most of them have patterns. They follow certain rules, you might say. Mostly, if it is a haunting, you find out who is doing it, then take a walk in the bone yard, dig 'em up and salt then burn the bones. Puts a spirit to rest. Frees them. Rock salt rounds will drive a spirit away, or at least have some kind of effect on them. As will rounds made with pure iron. Salt can also... protect you. Semi-circle around the doorway, and a little on the windows will keep spirits and demons out. So no just spilling the popcorn salt. That enough for you?"

Alex had definitely seen things that had opened him to extreme possibilities. He had no problems accepting what Dean was saying, but even so, he felt that it would be fun to taunt the handsome man sitting at his side.

"So you go round digging up bodies and setting them on fire? How come you haven't been arrested yet?" He smiled evilly. "Some people! Desecrating graves, tampering with human remains. I'm sure you'd be lynched, if the public became aware of that."

"I'm sure I would be, but as long as I don't get caught, I'm good. Besides, cops are lazy. You ever see the night time cops? They'd much rather sit in their cars than get out there preventing crime. Besides, who patrols cemeteries these days?" Dean tilted his head towards Alex, then back to the windshield, adding, "Most people don't report infringements, because I help them. And it's not like we leave an open grave. They do get covered back up."

"Wow! I'm glad to hear that," chuckled Alex. "Wouldn't want them to get cold or anything like that." He turned in his seat, facing Dean, studying the man as the Impala ate up the blacktop. He already knew that Dean was hot, but he hadn't really taken in the sheer competence, the ease and grace of his movements and the confident – not to say cocky – attitude. In so many ways, Dean reminded Alex of himself.

"So tell me about yourself, Dean. Who are you really? Where did you come from, and how did you ever find yourself ghost hunting? It's not what I'd called a mainstream occupation."

"You sure you want to know?" Dean asked, reaching down between Alex's legs to grab a cassette from his box of tapes, thinking how much he hated what was playing on the radio. Somehow he seemed to be beset by country music these days, and that just didn't do it for him. "Okay, how about we trade. I tell you something about me, and you tell me something equal to it. You don't agree, I'll just be known as the hot guy who drug your ass to Michigan."

He smirked at Alex. "I was born in Lawrence, Kansas. Your turn."

"Okay, fair's fair." Alex nodded. Dean was fascinating, and he'd play the game with him for a little while at least. His body tingled as he recalled their bout from the night before. Yes, definitely, he would play with Dean for the time being.

"Hmmm, let me see… I was born in Flushing Meadows, Queens – my parents were fugitives from the cold war. Your turn."

"Whoa, cold war huh?" Dean pulled into a MacDonald's. He had to have some coffee, "You want anything?" he asked as he waited in line at the drive-thru. "My mom died when I was four. Fire in the house. I had to carry my little brother out the front door, while my dad tried to save her." Dean got a slightly distant look upon his face. "I was supposed to play tee-ball the next day."

Dean ordered one of the meals, biscuit and coffee - a large one. He placed Alex's order and then drove around and reached for his wallet to pull out some cash.

"Thanks." Alex accepted his own coffee and the breakfast sandwich he'd requested. "I was a little older than you – I was ten. Me and my little sister were left orphaned when mom and dad were assassinated. I never did find out which organization did it. It might even have been the CIA, but anyway, they were gone, and we were suddenly stuck with people we didn't know to take care of us." He took a bite of his sandwich and nodded appreciatively. "I think I've still got hollow legs after being stuck in that hell hole for I don't know how long."

That was something they had in common to a degree. Dean had lost one parent, but for Alex it had been both. Dean didn't know what would have happened, if his dad had died too. He probably wouldn't have known Sam at all. They'd have been separated for life.

"I'm sure it took a lot out of ya," Dean answered. "Do you still talk to your sister?" He stole another peep at Alex as he took a bite of his sandwich, driving with his knee.

"Haven't seen her since I was twelve," confessed Alex, his mouth full of his own sandwich. "Sometimes I wonder what happened to her, but I think she's probably better off away from me." He gave Dean a crooked smile. "Okay, your turn."

Dean finished off his biscuit, so he could put his other hand back on the wheel. He could never have imagined being away from Sam, right up 'til the day when Sam had walked out of the door and gone off to college. Sam had always been there. Always around. It had been his job to keep his little brother safe.

"My father was the one who taught me about hunting supernatural things. The man is a genius when it comes to that." Dean stared out the window for a long moment, "Brother went off to college. Stanford," he blinked from his distant gaze to look toward Alex, "Wants to be a lawyer or something. Book smarts, that's him."

There was pain in Dean's eyes; Alex could see it plainly. He nodded to himself. There was something about the brother that had wounded his companion. He'd find out what it was – later - because it might just be useful. For now, however, he merely nodded.

"The short story is, I joined the LAPD, after I got my degree, and then went into the FBI. I was partnered with Mulder - told to spy on him and report his activities back to the higher ups. He found out, and I left."

"Guess that put a damper on your relationship then. Pisser." Dean took a sip of his coffee then sat the cup between his legs. "I've hunted a lot of things people can't explain. Things that go bump in the night. Got my first knife when I was five. First gun at eight."

Dean smirked suddenly, quirking his eyebrow at Alex, "So, this Mulder? You ever give him a blow job while he was driving. Because I somehow get the feeling he never let you drive."

"Fucking control freak," growled Alex, remembering Mulder's habits. "I drove once in a while, but you're right, most of the time I sat around reciting DOT stats to keep the idiot awake. He never got enough sleep."

He eyed Dean speculatively. "Why? You angling for a blow job? Not while you're driving, man. I hate it when people run me off the road. You want a blow job, pull over."

"Ouch," Dean made a face. In a way, he knew about control freaks. That description fit his father completely, always demanding perfection. Dean hadn't gotten to drive much when with his father, right up 'til Dad the day had given him the car. Now he'd got his own vehicle, because he was now doing his own gigs.

"Sleep is important. Keeps you healthy and sharp. Though I have gone a long time without it, always made up for it." He glanced over, pondering the rest. That look of his companion's was not as effective on him as the puppy-dog eye look, but it did give him pause.

Dean studied the road, wondered how much traffic was using it, before he pulled over. He turned the car off and placed his coffee on the dash. Turning to Alex he raised his eyebrows. "Question, was the guy just a good fuck, or was there another reason you hooked up with him?"

Now what were the implications of this sudden line of questioning, thought Alex, filing the question away for future analysis. Was the kid jealous of his ex? Let's see, he thought. "I wish I could show you a photo of him. When I was sent to be his partner, I just thought it was a short term gig - make friends with him, report back on what he was doing and then get transferred out to a real job. He was a total asshole too, and I was completely sideswiped by the fact that I suddenly couldn't keep my hands off him. We had a really torrid love affair that ended when I was outed as a spy for a faction of the government he hated. Since then, he's been kind of angry with me."

He chuckled to himself, wondering whether he should tell Dean what he'd done to finally earn Mulder's hatred and deciding that it would keep for now. "You know, I'm over him... and I give incredible blow jobs."

Dean turned back to the steering wheel. "I wouldn't know about love." He started the car back up, suddenly no longer wanting to fool around as that sick feeling welled up again. He certainly did know about being dumped. He was making little faces, staring blindly out of the window. "I'm sure you do." He put the car in drive, regretting he'd asked the question and wondering why the hell he had. Fuck, but he hated giving himself away like that!

"Love's over-rated. What is it but hormones, honestly?" Alex looked disappointed, but didn't say anything as they set off again. There would be time enough for blow jobs later, if they were going to go ghost wrangling. "It turns to hate really fast, and I think it's such a waste of honest emotion. Give me uncomplicated lust and a good buddy any day."

He stretched, leaning back in the seat and putting his hands behind his head so that his T-shirt stretched out over his torso. "I like you, Dean. You give me good vibes, man."

Dean didn't say anything to those words, he merely nodded, but deep inside, Dean had hungered for that kind of connection. From his father. From his brother. Neither had ever really come through for him, because his father was obsessed with this demon hunting, and his brother wanted a normal life, a safe life. Sam had left him, and Dean feared that, without Sam around, it was only a matter of time before his dad would as well.

He was convinced that it would come eventually with this man as well.

"Good vibes?" He didn't look up, but he could see Alex in his peripheral vision, catching the stretch and the reveal of skin just at the hem of his shirt. "Dude, what makes you say that?"

"Hey, I don't know - the way you keep your guns, the way you went straight into that place this morning, knowing that there was something in there that could do what it did to me, your whole attitude, man. You're hot, and not just in a sexual way." Alex studied Dean, wanting to run his tongue over the scattering of freckles on his cheeks. "Some people are just more alive than others, and I don't quite know how to explain it. You're one of those."

He laughed, wondering if he was coming on too strong, but damn, Dean's self esteem was in need of serious work, and while Alex didn't intend to marry the younger man or anything like that, he could see how intriguing it might be to work on Dean a little, try and strengthen his self regard. Besides, like he had just said, Dean was hot.

"Hot," Dean gave a chuckle and a snort while shaking his head. "Someone has a one track mind. Yeah, I'm alive alright. Just one big bundle of energy bouncing into danger without a second thought. Wanna know the truth? I was scared as all hell going in there. Possessions are not pretty, but a demon or whatever can easily possess you, if you let it. Mostly by showing fear. Nervousness. It's like opening a window. Makes it easier for them, so I can't let that show." He gave a shrug of his shoulders as if it was nothing.

"So how about some music then?" Alex said at last, breaking the silence that followed. "Got anything good?"

"Hand me that box between your legs under the seat. Got my tapes in it. And since I'm the driver, I get to pick, and shotgun shuts his pie hole," Dean grinned.

"Oh, getting toppy now, are we?" laughed Alex, digging under the seat for the box Dean had requested. He peered into it, looking through the contents with a smirk on his face. "Holy cow, are there moths in here? Looks like there's cobwebs, anyway."

Passing the box over to Dean with a smirk, he waited to see what his companion would choose. "You've still got your head stuck in the seventies, man. Hell, I bet you weren't even born when some of those tracks were recorded."

Dean reached in the box, pulling tapes out, until he found his favorite Metallica one. He dropped it in to the player and began tapping the wheel with his thumbs as the music began. "Nothing wrong with my collection. Better than the crap they have out now. Though Britney Spears isn't bad as long as the sound is off," he smirked.

Dean turned up the volume and began singing along as he grinned at Alex.

The drive continued. It was a while before Dean had to pull over to get some gas and stretch his legs. He climbed out, arching his back then bent over to stretch his legs. It was late in the evening, with the sun starting to set. "You wanna get us something to eat?" he asked, motioning towards the truck stop, while he walked around to fill up.

Dean had leaned against the back of his car, watching Alex as he walked inside. Damn but the man had this walk, and the way his ass moved was something Dean approved of, wholeheartedly. He found he wouldn't mind being behind that, and he had to admit, the man had a great mouth, kissed very well, and he gave a good fuck. Dean hadn't been fucked like that in a while.

He sighed, thinking about his family. He missed them. Missed his dad, being around him, watching him work, watching the way he put things together, the way he knew what to do. Then there was Sam, his brother. Little Sammy. He'd always been around and under foot, until he'd started getting older and more independent. Things had gone south from there, but they'd remained close, still together, right up until the day that Sam had left.

The truck stop had donuts and sandwiches, but nothing that looked particularly appetizing. Alex poked around looking for something more substantial, finding only plastic sandwiches and the kind of prepackaged burgers that one nuked in the microwave, viewing them with disgust. In the end he went with the burgers, grabbing a couple, adding cheese and ham sandwiches and a packet of chips to his purchases, and, by now having found out Dean's weakness, adding a couple of large coffees as well.

By the time he got back outside, Dean had finished filling the car and was removing the bug splatter of three counties from his windshield. "Here. They didn't actually have any food, but I got some empty calories for us."

Dean had pulled his phone out, going through the numbers he had stored, until he reached Sam's at Stanford. He'd stared at it for a long time, 'til he heard the thunk of the pump, telling him the car was full, then sighed and shoved the phone back into his pocket, taking the nozzle out and placing it back into the pump. He looked up as Alex came out. "Great," he commented, because he was used to food that contained no known nourishment. "Empty calories don't scare me."

Getting into the car, he smiled as he saw the coffee. "I think I'm in love," he said, smiling up at Alex, who was juggling his purchases as he clambered in himself.

"Damned straight!" Alex gave him a wicked grin as he sat back down beside Dean. "We need to stop for real food at some stage. I can't be held responsible for my moods, if I have to eat plastic burgers for the next week or so." He unwrapped one of the offending delicacies and sniffed it. "I wonder how many toxins and preservatives this thing contains."

Dean had pulled the car away from the pump to a parking area so they could eat. With the car in park, he was devouring his food. He turned to Alex, pondering his last few words. Alex had said a week or so. Did that mean the man planning on sticking around longer? That was interesting. "I try not to think about it."

Eating quickly and tidily, Alex watched Dean work his way through his own food. "I can't help noticing that you seem to have a bunch of things on your mind. Something I can help with?"

"Hmm?" Dean acted like he didn't understand. "Just thinking about the job. What other things could be causing those ships to crash? Could be just the weather, but who knows?" Yes he was avoiding the question. This man wasn't Sam, who could have just given him that look and pulled the whole story out of him - making him admit things he might never have intended to be known, although he had to admit that even with Sam, Dean found sharing confidences a struggle.

"You ever miss your sister? Talk to her. Try and contact her?" The question was out of the blue and Dean hoped it would divert the attention away from him.

"I did for the longest time." Alex scowled at the trees beside the parked Impala as he recalled the sister he hadn't seen for so many years. "She was a cute kid, and I missed her like I'd miss a limb or something, but with the way things fell out she's better off away from me. I do sometimes still think about her and wonder how she's doing, if she's married, with a family of her own, but I'm probably better not knowing."

Alex stole a sideways glance at Dean, wondering how much to tell him, how much he would believe. Almost, he could imagine recruiting Dean to help him fuck up Spender's plans.... almost. He remembered Irina, his little sister, and his last sight of her and her friend, Samantha Mulder. Best to believe he no longer had a sister.

He sighed. Better to stay silent until... Until what he had no idea. Dean would be fun to be with, and that was enough for the time being. "How about you? You said you had a brother? Older? Younger? He still around?"

"Brother," Dean nodded then sighed, "Younger brother." Dean stared out the window, "Alive, yes, around, no. Like I said before, he, umm, went off to college, he wants to be a lawyer, or something like that." Dean took a bite of his food. "Dad still checks on him though."

Dean glanced to Alex, "How come you don't talk to her, if you miss her. I mean doing what you do, why stay away from family? Family is important. It's all you will have left if... if everything falls apart."

"Dean, honey, everything fell apart for me years ago." Alex was smirking as he spoke, sure that Dean would have no clue just how dreadfully things could disintegrate. "Things started to go wrong for me when I was just a kid, and... anyway, I don't have a family. It's better that way."

He studied Dean, who was staring ahead impassively. "Anyway, if families are so important, how come you don't go visit the brother once in a while?"

Dean took a drink of his coffee, but almost choked upon it when Alex asked his question. "I..." He tried to sound macho, as if he didn't care, but failed miserably. He tried again, "He..." Dean stared at Alex then sighed, "He asked me to stay away. And if I call, he won't answer."

Dean shook his head, "Things are... not rosy in my family. I know our dad loves us. I know Sam..." Dean stopped. "We still care for each other. Can we talk about something else?"

"Oh, yeah, for sure." Alex crumpled the sandwich papers and stuffed them into a plastic shopping bag along with the rest of the debris from their makeshift meal. "What do you want to talk about?" He grabbed his own coffee and drank, sighing as the caffeine took effect. "Hit me with your best shot."

Dean shook his head as he turned back, "I don't know what to ask. I've, never been really much of a talker. That was Sam. And..." Dean glanced at him, considering, then quickly surged in and kissed him. He pulled back slowly, "Okay, so I lied about not being much of a talker." He grinned then sat back. "Ever have a girlfriend? Was she sexy?" He started the car back up again in preparation for hitting the road.

"Girlfriends are always sexy," smirked Alex, touching his lips with one slim forefinger, then reaching to caress Dean's lower lip with the same digit. "But I can't say that they really do that much for me. There was one - she was blonde and capable, and we were going to rule the world together. Can't say that I've seen her lately though. She's working for the World Trade Organization now, being important and way above my touch. I like to think that she missed a splendid opportunity when she walked away from me."

Dean wanted to lick that finger but he didn't, just stared at Alex's handsome face. He gave a rueful chuckle. "Rule the world? That never works out. And she probably did miss out. Good looking guys like us have to stick together; it's a fact!" He smirked as he put the car in gear.

Giving Alex a half smile, Dean grabbed his finger quickly as he was taking it away, pulling it to his mouth to suck on before releasing it with a smile. "Val, how did you get tangled up in all of that? Why would you want to take over the world?"

"You're right about us sticking together." Alex nodded, his eyes bright as he stared into the past. "Rita was one of those girls, you know? She wanted everything, and I thought I could give it to her and still have something left for myself, you know?" He sighed. "I told you that I was working for a government department that wanted to monitor what Mulder was doing, didn't I?" At Dean's nod, he continued. "Well, once Mulder fingered me, I was no longer any use to them, and they tried to rub me out. All of a sudden I was on my own, fending for myself, and that's when Rita decided that I wasn't a good prospect any longer." He laughed, but his laughter held more scorn than amusement. "She wasn't wrong, that's for sure."

"Ahh, yeah, the greedy type." Dean took another sip of his coffee. "Those women suck you dry, til there is no life left in you, then they toss you aside. Why I don't get close." He answered.

He glanced to Alex then frowned as he turned back, "You know, money, power, it's not everything. You show your worth by what you do, not by what you have. I mean, look at me. Driving around in a 67 Impala. Tracking down the supernatural. Trunk full of weird ass stuff. Living in motels and restaurants. Think that's a good prospect? No, but you know what? I don't give a damn. Because I know what I'm doing is right."

"Best not to get close," agreed Alex. "Let's agree that there's no future in it." He gave Dean a wide grin and indicated the Impala. "Besides, there's only room for one great love in your life, and if I had this car, I think I'd be content. It's quite the car, and you've obviously put a lot of work into it."

He nodded and patted the dash. "You should get yourself a decent stereo though. Some of your tapes are wearing out, and Metallica deserves better."

Dean wasn't going to mention that the car had been his dad's, given to him when dad got his truck. It wasn't a new truck, but still... Dad seemed to have a thing for the classics, and he seemed to like living in the past, dwelling on the time before he and Sam had been born, back when he first met mom.

"Yeah, well, kind of have to. It takes a beating at times, and I gotta have a car that looks as good as me." He smiled. "But there is nothing wrong with the stereo. My tapes play fine. The car deserves its original stereo."

Part 6: One Of Us Makes The Other One Come True

Light globes wash up, all along the beach.
And they light me up with, and they light me up with certainty.
Well we calculate, coincidence, and circumstance and turbulence.
Gotta see what it is, and it's everything, and it's endless.
'Cause baby can't see through, all this matter and makeup and dèjà vu.
Yeah we drift here alone, with nothing to do.
Until one of us makes the other one come true.
"Dèjà Vu," by Something for Kate

After the first few hours, the interior of the Impala became Alex Krycek's world, the scenery flashed by outside, ever changing but without any meaning, any context. Dean, and the music and the occasional stops to fuel up were all there was, and all he wanted. Alex became used to plastic burgers and synthetic cheese, lost himself in the joy of watching Dean eat, relishing each touch of tongue to lip, each sucked finger, and each stray crumb retrieved. He found himself fantasizing about that mouth of Dean's.

Dean kept driving till he hit the border of Michigan, heading for the shore line and following it towards Naubinway, the lake to the side of them as pointed the car towards their goal. The smell of water was heavy and cool, and they had rolled down the windows, so that they could enjoy the air.

They finally reached the edge of the town and pulled into a gas station. "I need to ask for directions" Dean announced, hopping out of the car and adding with a smirk, "Don't look now, it's a guy asking for directions! We need to find the docks." Reaching over, he pulled open the glove box and revealed a wooden box, starting to search through the ID's he had stashed. Once he found the one he was looking for, he grunted in satisfaction. "You wait here; I'll be back, unless you need to use the little boy's room."

"Nah, I'm good." Alex waved a languid hand at him and watched as Dean sauntered off into the store. He'd smiled some at the comment about asking for directions, and more at the thought of being with Dean for the next few days. The cocky young man was certainly special. Alex was beginning to think he'd fallen lucky when the whatever-it-was had abducted him.

Dean nodded as he headed into the store, spending a while inside talking to the clerk, laying on his usual charm for the lady behind the counter. His smile and his flirty behavior were, as usual, getting him just what he needed without too close a look at his ID. Finally, he nodded and took the paper from her on which she'd written the directions with a word or two of thanks and a cheeky smile.

Alex's interest had been piqued by the box that Dean had been rummaging through, and he pulled it across to take a peek. There were all manner of IDs in there, and every last one of them was an excellent forgery. Most were of Dean, but there was one of another man - one with sleepy eyes and a foxy, triangular face. The logo on the ID said, "Sam Winchester, Bikini Inspector."

Alex was still chuckling at that one when Dean returned.

Returning to the car, Dean peered in to see Alex chuckling, "What's so funny?" he asked, getting in. He saw his box sitting on Alex's lap and grabbed for it, placing it back in the glove box with a frown. "Not far from here, 15 minutes."

"Bikini Inspector?" Alex was still chuckling. "Do you have much success with that one?" He flipped the card over to Dean. "And I take it that this is the elusive brother. Sam, eh? A good, dependable name." He paused for a moment, watching Dean's reaction to his words, noting the spasm that crossed his face. His instincts were still good. The brother was the one that was causing his companion so much pain.

Well, thought Alex. We'll see about making him forget this baby brother of his. It's only a matter of time. Changing the subject, he frowned. "So we drive for fifteen minutes and then what? There's the water, and we wait for a boat to sink? What's the plan, man?"

Dean had snatched the card from Alex, shoving it into the box and slamming the lid closed before putting it away. He tried to keep his face unreadable. "It works when they don't look to closely, which most people never do."

Dean wasn't going to talk about Sam, because it hurt to do so. Sam had left him, and now his dad seemed to be pushing him away; they were working fewer and fewer jobs together. Sure he was 26, but still he didn't think it was fair to abandon him. Dean needed his family. It was all he'd ever had to be proud of, and now... Now it seemed that he no longer even had that. He cleared his throat, trying to push his hurt down to a place where he could pretend it wasn't real.

"We walk around, talk to the locals and see what their take is on what's been happening. Bars along the water are usually a good place to just hang out. The whole thing could be nothing but weather-related, freak accidents, but we need more information, before we can decide." We? Did he say we? How long had it been since he'd last used that word? It seemed strange, and yet on the other hand it seemed... more than comforting – it seemed perfect.

Definitely something wrong with Dean's relationship with his brother, thought Alex. He's really cut up about something. He filed that thought away 'til later and gave Dean a wide smile. "Okay, intelligence gathering is a topic I'm familiar with. I can do that, so let's hit the bar!"

He raised his eyebrows at Dean as the other man pulled into a parking stall to the rear of a bar that advertised fourteen different beers on tap. "We should maybe make sure that they serve food, too. Man cannot live by grease alone."

Dean placed the Impala in park, moving as if to open the door before pausing. "Okay, let's see if we can find a bar with a diner in it." Dean got out, throwing on his leather jacket. He started walking along the wooden dock, Alex beside him as he looked out at the piers. The afternoon was pretty; there were boats on the water, birds calling high in the sky, and the scent of spring wafted faintly in the chilly afternoon air.

Spotting a bunch of guys walking into a diner, Dean motioned with his head to Alex that they should head after them. Together they walked over, pushing open the door to follow the men inside. It was a plain looking establishment with a bar along one side and tables and pool tables in the back.

The pool tables looked tempting. Dean thought of hustling a little pool to try and boost their cash reserves, but then thought that, under the circumstances, maybe just a friendly game or two would do... Later. They settled down at a table close to the bar, so they could overhear any conversations there, and a waitress came over, "You two are new around here," she commented, "What can I get you?"

"Beer?" Dean asked as he took the menu from the lady, looking it over before ordering the fish.

"I'll take a beer as well," murmured Alex, favoring her with a sweet smile and gesturing at the waterfront. "This is a really beautiful place. You get many tourists passing through?"

"Some," she admitted, smiling back. "Mostly in the summer. Lots of boaters - least ways, we did." She looked a little less happy as she stared out at the harbor. "What can I get you to eat? Anything?"

"I'll get the roast beef sandwich, please," he said. "Salad and fries." He gave her a wink. "Got to keep my strength up; I'm a growing boy."

"You sure are," she said, inspecting him with a grin.

As she sauntered off to fill their order, Alex raised an eyebrow at Dean. "So what do you make of that? She knows something, for sure."

Dean was impressed with the way Alex flirted, deciding that the man was almost as good as he was. He sat listening, looking out at the harbor before turning his gaze back to the waitress, who was on her way back to the kitchen to fill their orders. Focusing his attention back on Alex, he raised his eyebrows. "Thought you were tired of the greasy stuff? I'm gonna eat your fries, to save you from the dreaded cholesterol." He flashed Alex a grin and nodded. "You're right though. There's definitely something going on here."

As the woman came back with the beers, he looked up at her. "Hey, got a question." Dean tried to start out slowly, "What did you mean by, 'you did'? Tourism go bad?"

She shook her head, "In a way. Word gets around when things happen. Too many boating accidents."

"They weren't no accident," a gray-bearded old man spoke up from where he was sitting at a table close by.

Dean raised an eyebrow and turned to look at the speaker, and the waitress growled. "Earl, don't start that up again. That's all they were, accidents." The woman rolled her eyes as she turned back. "Some of these water dogs like to tell stories."

Dean shot Alex a significant look and then turned back, "We don't mind stories," he said and smiled at the woman apologetically.

"What did you say your name was? Earl?" Alex gave the waitress another sunny smile and gestured towards the bar. "Maybe Earl would like a refill of his beer, and talk to us about his theories?" He spread his hands in a deprecating way and shrugged at the waitress. "We're writers; what can I say? Anything that would give us color for a book is fair game."

"You write books?" The waitress seemed impressed. "Have I read any of your books?"

"I don't know," responded Alex, winking surreptitiously at Dean. "Do you read historical novels?"

Earl merely smiled smugly at the waitress, who had rolled her eyes, obviously thinking that the last thing Earl needed was another beer. She had shot a warning glance at the two men as if trying to warn them what they were stepping into.

Dean raised his eyebrows at Alex, whose explanation to Earl had sounded exactly like something Sam would say. "Yeah, we are doing some research on local lore. We heard of weird stuff happening around here."

"Here..." She murmured, looking at him uneasily. She returned her regard to Earl and then sighed, "Let me get your food... And beer," she added, with a pointed look at Earl.

"Have a seat, Earl," Dean patted the chair.

"You two really writers?" Earl asked, looking back and forth. "You don't look like writers?"

Dean smiled, "Thanks. So... What you know about these boats?"

"All I'm saying," said the elderly man, settling down to spin out as much of a tale as he could, "Is that it ain't natural. People have heard things. There's something that screams out there on the rocks the night before. Anyone can see that it's not a good idea to take a boat out after the screaming."

He took the beer that the waitress brought him and smiled around at her in triumph. "You can say it's just the wind making that noise, but I say that it's some sort of ghost. It never used to happen before that ketch went down a year ago."

"What happened to the ketch?" Alex was doing a good job of looking spellbound, a wide eyed expression on his face as he drank in the old man's words. "Was there some kind of foul play?"

Dean seemed easy and relaxed, taking in Earl's words. He was wondering what sort of creature could cause those screams, or was it only some boat out there with a faulty engine. He had heard that there were pirates in the Great Lakes.

"The ketch?" Dean looked at Alex and then at the old man who was now leaning forward. He quailed for a moment, wanting to hold his breath at the beery stink that was coming from the old-timer.

"Not a cloud in the sky. Clearest night there ever was. Next morning she never docked. Boats went out to try and find her but all they found was her flag and a sail. Not a crew member found, not even washed up later, although we combed the shoreline for miles."

Dean shot Alex a significant look.

"Were there many people on board?" Alex was madly trying to remember if he knew anything at all about ketches. They were boats, that's all he was sure of.

"Crew of six, so I believe. They were setting out to go fishing, and they vanished. That's when all this stuff started to happen." Earl took a deep swig of his beer. "I'd been walking my old dog along the waterfront, and I'd heard the screaming, the night before. It was coming from out on the lake, but there wasn't any boat out there that I could see. Next night, the ketch disappeared, and since then it happens at least once a month. It's getting so that people are moving away."

"Once a month?" The words were spoken in a breathy whisper. Alex met Dean's eyes and gave him a little nod. "You think that it has anything to do with the moon?" he asked his companion, raising his brows.

Dean thought a moment, thinking he needed to do some research. There were water demons of all kinds, monsters, a lot of lore could cover that. "Sounds more like..." He stopped and stared at the man across from them. "There been any tales around here about water monsters, unusual sightings, anything weird like that?"

Dean had a feeling that the once a month occurrence sounded more like a ritual or a feeding cycle. The screams could well be the sound of the thing as it attacked its prey.

Earl smirked at Dean. "You mean like the Loch Ness monster or Ogopogo? Hey, Alison?" He turned and called to the waitress. "Think we've got a monster in the lake?"

Despite the elderly man's sudden jokey attitude, Alex could see that Dean was getting all kinds of ideas from the story that Earl was telling them. He set to work to pump the old timer of whatever information he could.

"So did you see anything at all when the screams were happening?"

"Didn't see no monster, that's for sure," said Earl, still cackling. "Didn't see nothing but a couple of birds flying out by the breakwater. Flat as a millpond, I'm tellin' ya."

"Just asking questions, making sure. You know how it is. Have to cover all our bases," Dean smiled, his smile vanishing as he took a drink to cover up his unease. "No splashing? Just the screaming. Weren't drinking that night were you?" He shifted again, "Say... what happened to your dog? He been, acting a little strangely since that night?" He knew that some animal behavior altered when they encountered the supernatural.

"That's just it," said Earl, frowning. "Damned dog up and died on me three weeks later. Best dog I ever had, too,"

"What happened?" Alex was leaning forward now, his food forgotten as he laid his fork down.

"I don't know. He seemed to just stop eating. Young dog too. In the end he just lay down and died on me." Earl was tearing up. "Got me a new one now, but he ain't such a good dog. He don't fetch or nothin'. Too old to train 'im now, I am."

Dean sat forward as well. This was a little interesting tidbit. So either the dog had caught a scent of something, or he'd seen something the old man hadn't. Stopping eating, going crazy, changing behavior, all these things were signs he'd seen before. Something odd was definitely going on.

"You notice any other strange activities in the animals around here?" Dean asked, leaning back.

Earl didn't seem to have noticed any other strange animal behaviors, but he continued to chatter, telling the two men exactly where he'd been when he'd heard the screams and lamenting the loss of his dog.

The meal was soon over, and Alex gave Dean a little nudge with his foot. "Shall we go for a walk?" he asked his companion, as Dean dropped some money onto the table to pay for the food and drinks.

Outside, the sun was beginning to go down, and the shadows were lengthening. The late afternoon sun on the water made the air sparkle, and Alex gave a sigh as he looked about himself, feeling strangely happy and contented.

"What do you think of the old-timer back there?" he asked Dean as they strolled in the direction Earl had mentioned.

"There is definitely something going on here. Strange animal behavior is a good indication of that. From the sound of it, that dog saw or heard something that scared it to death, literally. I'll lay even odds that the fishing in this area has gone down too." He glanced at Alex as he walked, inviting comment and trying to gauge Alex's reaction.

"Gonna need to do some research. The moon cycles, incidents every full moon, sound like either a feeding pattern or a ritual. There are a lot of ceremonies and creatures that go by the moon cycle. We need to find a local library." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"When's the next full moon?" He looked to Alex then remembered that the guy probably wouldn't have a clue since he'd been locked up. "Better find out; should be soon, I'm guessing, or dad wouldn't have sent me, unless he intended for me to be here a while."

Not really knowing about which phase the moon was in, Alex spread his hands and shrugged. "A library sounds like a good idea. He checked his watch and smiled. "Do you think they'll still be open? It's a quarter to seven."

Dean glanced at his watch and frowned, "In this area, probably not. We'll try in the morning." He stopped in front of a map of the waterfront, eyes scanning it as he scratched the back of his head.

Alex paused to take a look at the map too, noting the area where Earl had said the screaming occurred. "I wonder if there are any local legends or anything like that," he mused. "And we probably should find somewhere to stay for the night, or we'll be out on the grass."

"Could be an old legend or maybe the start of a new one." Dean sighed through his nose and turned away. "Okay, we go find someplace to stay, then we take a little moonlight stroll. You're into romance, aren't you?" He bumped Alex with his elbow before turning to head back to the car. "Sleeping in a bed sounds really nice."

"I have to agree. I'd always rather sleep in a bed than out on the sidewalk." Alex laughed and touched Dean's shoulder, turning with him to return to the Impala. "And call me a romantic, if you like, but I'll take a walk in the moonlight with you, no problem. It sounds like just what I need."

The car was soon reached, and they climbed in, then set off to look for a motel. The one they found was only a couple of blocks from the waterfront and seemed to be reasonably clean. Pretty soon they had a room and were ready to go.

Alex was excited. Dean was gorgeous, and he seemed to have accepted Alex without question. Alex's mouth watered at the thought of spending the night with him, resolving to take his time and make him desperate this time. He was well aware that his showing the first time they'd got it on had been hurried and desperate on his part, due to the panic that had threatened to overwhelm him following his rescue from the silo.

"You want that walk now, or will we wait for full dark?" he asked Dean, a little smile on his face.

Dean grabbed his bag from the trunk and entered the room. Alex seemed to be bouncing on the balls of his feet, while Dean was just as calm as could be. Doing this for a living, Dean found he'd become pretty much numb to most of the peculiar things he dealt with. Just another day; just another job.

Tossing his bag down, he turned to Alex, "Dark's the best time. I hear that's when all the freaks come out, and when hunting freaks, do as the freaks do." Dean walked into the bathroom to relieve himself.

Coming back out after washing his hands, he stood in the doorway. "We got a few hours, you got any ideas on how to entertain ourselves?" Because until they could get to the library so he could use a computer, there wasn't much he could do.

Alex didn't say a word - he merely stalked forward and hooked his hand behind Dean's head, drawing him closer, until his mouth was a mere fraction of an inch away.

"I'll give you three guesses, if you like," he murmured. "And if you need more than one, you aren't the man I think you are."

Dean didn't move as Alex stalked up to him. He only stared into those green eyes and then at those lips. "And just what kind of man do you think I am?" Dean asked before latching his lips to Alex's. The kiss was heated and hungry, and he ended it just as quickly as it had begun. He favored Alex with a predatory smile. "Don't even think I need that first guess."

"Good," murmured Alex, his own eyes intent on Dean's mouth, his voice silky as he traced Dean's glistening lower lip. "We understand each other well. I always think that's the basis of a good relationship."

Dean threw himself backwards onto the bed, pulling Alex with him as he went down. "You know, I was thinking pool, but hey, got me a couple of balls and a stick right here. Even have a pocket to sink them in."

"You know," chuckled Alex. "I hadn't thought of pool. You wanna play pool?" He rolled so that Dean was on top of him and slid his hands down over his companion's back to squeeze his buttocks, pulling Dean's groin into him.

"You make me tingle," he murmured against Dean's chin. "You've somehow managed to make me forget that life can be a pile of shit, just for a little while."

Dean rolled with Alex, ending up straddling him. His hands pressed the pillow on either side of Alex's head, green eyes gazing down, and a smirk playing upon his lips, "I'm really great at pool." With a little shift and a twist of his hips, Dean had his groin grinding against Alex.

He lowered down, nipping at that chin before drinking in the sight below him once again. "It's good to forget, just for a while. People need to lighten up, put a little more laughter into their lives." He tipped his head, kissing along Alex's neck and down into the shadowy space below the man's T-shirt.

Reaching down, Dean pulled at the shirt Alex had borrowed from him, tugging it up and off him, tossing it over his shoulder so that it landed somewhere in the room, although where precisely Dean didn't care. He wasn't sharing the room with his dad. He didn't have to consider anyone else except for the man currently lying beneath him.

Dean changed his focus from Alex's neck to his chest, nipping, pulling, leaving little marks, and for Alex this was heaven. Dean had the most amazing mouth, plush lips, nimble, inventive tongue and teeth that threatened sharpness on the sensitive patches of skin he was tormenting. Alex laughed and stretched out, allowing Dean to browse where he wanted, enjoying the assault and planning his own counterattack.

"You're good at this," snickered Alex. "Anyone would think you were a hustler. Do you play pool often, or do you pick your partners carefully?"

Dean worshiped Alex's body, thinking that his flavor could be called addictive. Dean threw a glance up as he kept going down, "Had a lot of practice. Started young," Dean pulled at Alex's pants, working them down. He pulled himself up, rolling off Alex and crouched as he pulled the man's boots off, followed by his pants. "But then I also pick my partners carefully. They're always ones with a lot to offer."

Kissing and biting his way up Alex's inner thighs, Dean pushed them apart as he worked his way to the target he was after. Dipping down, he flattened his tongue then slowly licked his way up the stiffened cock, painting it all the way to the crown of it before kissing the tip.

And, Christ, Alex had thought that Dean as a bottom was hot, but this, now, Dean in total control, measuring out caresses in such a way that he was taking Alex apart slowly and carefully from the inside out, was amazing. He'd started out this encounter believing that he could have a quick fuck and make Dean really want him, but instead he found himself gasping, writhing, wanting nothing more than Dean to get inside him and fuck him until he couldn't walk straight.

"Jesus, man, you are good at what you do," he groaned, feeling the hot mouth on his cock and watching those plump lips wrap around it.

Dean used his tongue to play with the tip, lapping at the sensitive v on the underside, allowing his tongue to make a point to play along the rim. His hand stroked up and down Alex's length for a moment or two before he let go, covered him fully with his mouth and took the cock down deep.

Looking up, he smiled as much as he could with such a mouthful, before sucking back up, pulling at the flesh till it popped out of his mouth and set Alex off gasping. Giving his victim a wicked grin, Dean swallowed Alex down at last and began to move briskly over him as if he were starving.

Alex's legs high were held high as Dean's hands gripped him, opening him up and tipping him back so he could slip his fingers between his companion's cheeks, rubbing at the tight bud between them before pressing his fingers inside.

Alex couldn't take his eyes off the sight of Dean. The man was as hot as any porn star, and the smile he gave Alex as he teased him was blinding in its beauty. He felt an edgy flip, deep in his belly, and suddenly every part of him was warm and loose and tingling, the way that he hadn't felt since he and Mulder had stopped being lovers and started to try and kill each other.

He spread himself wide for Dean, eyes beseeching even though he couldn't seem to find the breath to put what he needed into words of more than a single syllable. It's only sex, he told himself. It's only sex, and I don't really care about this man at all; he's just a means to an end.

Except that he did care. All of a sudden he really did care, and more than anything in the world, at that moment he wanted to be with Dean for the rest of his life.

Dean's fingers pressed in more, pushing in all the way, till he was knuckle deep. He allowed Alex's cock to fall from his mouth with a grin, "Been a while for you huh?" and twisted his fingers, drawing them back and pushing them in again, really adoring the helpless expression on Alex's face.

"You might say that," mumbled Alex. He didn't often bottom, and the fact that he was offering himself to Dean in this way came was coming as a surprise to him. Trust wasn't something he offered readily at all

Shifting slightly, he pulled his fingers free, so he could start opening his own jeans. Dean was hard; until now he'd only ever been this hard with Sam. Swiftly groping around, he reached for his lube to coat his hand, and then returned his fingers to Alex to smear the slippery liquid around his opening.

Grabbing Alex's legs, Dean pushed them up and open as he crouched to get his cock in the right place. His cock slipped down into Alex's crack, and he moaned as he began to put pressure against that lovely ass. He pushed a little more, trying to breach the man under him.

Alex bit his lip as Dean pressed home, giving a little gasp and wince as the thick cockhead forced its way inside him with a sudden surge. He pushed himself up a little, offering his mouth to Dean. "Hope you're gonna make it worth it," he murmured. "You've got my hopes up, as well as my dick."

Dean leaned down, capturing those lips, just as that whispery voice finished speaking. His tongue delved into the man's mouth, exploring the texture of it, making the kiss as wet as possible. Pulling back, he sucked upon Alex's bottom lip. "I won't let you down," Dean husked as he gazed into another set of green eyes, his words soft and full of meaning.

Raising his fingers to trace along Alex's jaw and coast down his neck, Dean drew back. Leaning down, he kissed the areas his fingers had just left. He sighed very happily, his hips moving at a steady pace as he began to fuck the man he was covering. Hips rocked out then back in, shifting so he could angle his cock just right to hit that gland he knew would make Alex quiver, and shake and hopefully gasp for air.

Wrapping his legs around his partner's back, Alex clung to Dean, sinking his fingers into the man's upper arms and moaning softly as the thrust of Dean's hips moved him slowly up towards the head of the bed, there to bump his head.

He gave a soft laugh as he reached to pull Dean down to him, speaking against his lips as Dean did his best to fuck the life out of him.

"God, yeah," he gasped. "Fuck me hard. Fuck the shit out of me, Dean."

Dean did not let up on his thrusting, giving as it everything he had and then some. His hips pushed him deep into the man under him. The bend in Alex's neck had Dean locking his teeth to him. Skin was bitten, then licked gently to assuage the mark that sharp teeth had left behind.

Dean couldn't stretch his body out over Alex the way he could with a woman; he braced himself with an arm as he drove into Alex's back entrance and leaned away from him for a moment, allowing his lover to squirm and shiver. Then he reached with his hands to grasp Alex's hips, forcing the man back into him.

"Shit," he hissed, hips bucking. Dean shifted his hand to grasp Alex's cock. His thumb rubbed over the tip, pushing and teasing 'til he slipped his hand down and started to stroke him. Now he was moving much more slowly, dragging it out, frying both his own and Alex's brains with the pleasure he was both giving and receiving.

Alex had reached a place where he was completely locked into the moment, the feel, the taste, the sight of Dean above him, lips parted and glossy, eyes dark and unfocused as they raced towards climax. He could feel his own orgasm building, the hand on his dick, and the steady slip, glide and thrust deep into him were not to be denied. As Dean rammed his cock home inside him, he gave a muffled cry and started to come, body tensing as he began to spill come all over his belly and Dean's hand.

Dean shook, feeling how Alex's ass tightened around him. A curse flew from his lips, and he lowered his head, riding out the burning sensation that threatened to lock up his muscles. Raising his head to Alex, Dean gazed at him, drinking in his expression. His fingers smeared through the cum on Alex's stomach as he drove himself harder into the man under him. He was so close to his own release, that when Alex let himself go, it was all he needed.

At last, Dean slammed into Alex, his hips holding in place while he spilled into the hot, sucking tightness. He shook for a moment, then sagged. "Ahhh, god!" he moaned and leaned in, kissing Alex deeply. Pulling back, Dean carefully withdrew from him, dropping down beside him, happy.

Resting one hand upon Alex's chest, Dean gathered his scattered wits. "Damn! Fucking you is..." He shook his head. He looked over to Alex who looked sated and incredibly happy.

"A fucking good ride?" Alex snickered and moved to snake an arm round Dean so he could move closer to him. "It was pretty damned excellent, if you want my opinion."

Alex gave a soft sigh, and they lay for a moment, content to let their heartbeats return to normal while they held each other. "So," said Alex, after a while, attempting to sound offhand with his question. "You don't have any significant other pining for you somewhere?" He eyed Dean narrowly as he gave a tentative smile. "There's not likely to be some guy or gal with their nose seriously out of joint coming behind me to finish me off, because they're jealous, I hope?"

He ran his hand down over Dean's rough chin, marshalling his thoughts as he prepares to lay himself open for Dean. "See, I could get used to this, and I've got skills you might be able to use, even if I'm not particularly sold on life beyond the grave. I can shoot straight, and I don't ask questions… most of the time."

Dean was very content, and it felt good not to think for a while. All he could or wanted to hear was Alex's breathing, his heart beating and maybe the sounds of traffic outside. Turning his head to Alex when the silence in the room was broken by his breathy voice, Dean gave a laugh. "Significant other? Pining for me?" That thought was amusing on so many levels. "No. My line of work..." He shook his head, "I tried once, but when I told her the truth, she dumped me. Pretty much told me to get out of her life and never see her again."

He thought for a moment, frowning as he gathered what Alex was trying to say. "I would say you got skills." Dean was joking but not really. "Val, why do you want to do this? I mean what about your... other job." He reached out, running fingers along Alex's jaw.

"I was thinking that I was about ready for a change of profession," said Alex, making a supreme effort and meeting Dean's eyes with a smile. "But I'm not really qualified to be a plumber or anything. My life has really only suited me for very specific skills. It pays well when it pays at all, but when it isn't paying, and you've got creeps like that Smoker on your tail you can pretty well kiss your ass goodbye." He dragged his forefinger down over Dean's plush lips and gave another sigh, then leaned in to kiss him softly. "When you go underground, you have to learn to live with the rats, you know? Now I know how to live with the rats, but it isn't something I can put on my resume."

Dean leaned up, kissing Alex in return. "Well, I guess we all fight different battles, I just happen to find the ones I fight are a little more here and now kind of important. And yeah, the pay is crap for me too, if there's any pay at all. But that is why I've got a list of other means of getting cash together when I need it."

He kissed Alex once again before sighing and laying back. "We should really talk about this again, after you work with me on the problem we've got here and now. You might find that you want to get away from me as quickly as possible, once you see what it entails." He rolled and sat up on the bed. "Come on; I guess we'd both better get cleaned up and go check out that shore line."

"You got it." Alex rose to his feet, his body aching where Dean had recently filled him. He yawned and stretched, feeling the sharp pull of his loosened muscles as he reached for his clothing. "Guess I'll go wash. You need the shower first, or shall I?"

Stooping, he gathered up his jeans and underwear, and headed for the bathroom, knowing that his walk was a sure indication that he'd been well and truly fucked. He was almost at the bathroom door when he turned and smirked at Dean. "I hope that I don't have to run away from anything tonight, because if I do, I'm going to be completely sunk. You've done quite a number on me. Nobody's going to complain that I'm tight-assed for the next day or two."

Dean didn't need to really shower, just wash up, so he grabbed his tee shirt and pulled it on as Alex was heading for the bathroom. He watched him as he walked, admiring how the other man's legs moved. Looking right into Alex's eyes as he spoke, he couldn't help smirking. "Oh no, not a tight ass. Not at all."

Walking over, he leaned in to kiss Alex, "Take your shower; I'll just wash up." He smacked Alex's ass as he went to the sink to clean up. "We are gonna need some glow sticks. I don't think we should bring flashlights because, if it is a beast or whatever, the light might scare it away. Oh and wrought iron bullets. Spirit or worse, those will take care of it."

"I'll take your word for that," murmured Alex, returning the kiss and then giving a little yelp as Dean's palm connected with his buttock. "You're the general; I'm only a private right now." He stood watching as Dean washed his cock, and then turned on the shower, giving a little grunt of satisfaction at the feel of the warm water cascading over him.

Once cleaned off, Dean went into the other room to finish up dressing. By the time Alex was ready to emerge, Dean had a black tee shirt on, with his red shirt over the top. His jeans were the usual, with rips at the knees and on one thigh. He and the rest of his family had learned to wear jeans till they were falling apart. Buying clothing was more of a luxury for them than a necessity, and it amused him when he bothered to think about it at all that he was currently in the height of fashion.

A few more minutes and Alex was clean and dried and beginning to climb back into his own, borrowed clothing. He headed out to join Dean, who was sitting on the bed, putting on his boots. "You know, general, I never get tired of hot showers. To me they're the height of civilization." He laid a hand on Dean's shoulder. "You gonna lend me your gun again? I need to get my own back, but I won't be able to do that, 'til we're somewhere in the vicinity of New York."

Dean had looked up when Alex came out, "I love hot showers. Get really good ones so rarely, but when I do... man, heaven." He got up grabbing his jacket to pull on. "I'll go get the guns," Trotting out, he headed for the Impala and started digging around in the trunk to grab some extra clips and the long glow sticks he'd said they needed.

Upon returning, he handed over a gun to Alex with a few clips. "Here you go. You can use this, 'til we get you a gun of your own, or you get yours back." Dean was busy as he spoke, tucking his pistol at his back and bestowing the spare clips about his person. "You know we really need to stop and get you some more clothing," he said as he handed over one of the large glow sticks, showing him how it worked.

"You ready, handsome?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," murmured Alex, popping the clip to check the pistol Dean had handed him and then stowing it in the back of his own jeans. "Okay, let's go do it, shall we?" Heading for the door, he pulled it open, and, shoulder to shoulder, the two of them stepped out into the darkness that was lurking outside the door.

Part 7: Melt Into My Ocean

One night, you'll see
The moon and stars in motion
One night, your sea
Will melt into my ocean
"Burn For Me," by Echo and the Bunnymen.

It was almost completely dark, but there was still a low light in the sky over on the horizon, and the moon hung above them, almost full. Alex turned to watch as Dean locked the door to their room and then turned to walk alongside him, shoulder to shoulder, comfortable in the silence.

The water shone in the moonlight, close to still, with the mere suggestion of ripples when the slight breeze blew. The evening was warm, and there were insects fluttering around the lamps that shone at regular intervals along the footpath. The two men made their way to the water's edge, hearing nothing save for the soft lapping of water and the rustling of leaves as they went.

"Do you suppose that we'll actually see or hear anything?" Alex's voice was soft, husky in the quiet of the evening. "It'd be a bit of a coincidence, if we walked straight into it, wouldn't it?"

As they walked along, Dean's keen eyes scanned the water, looking for any unusual wave or ripple that might suddenly appear. At times, he could feel Alex's shoulder bump his, and feeling a little giddy and rather like a schoolboy, he swatted at a bug that flew near his face, missed his footing, and tripped up on the raised bricks at the edge of the water, falling on his ass and laughing ruefully. Getting up once more and crouching down at the water's edge, Dean sighed and shook his head.

"It's hard to tell. Sometimes this kind of thing doesn't show for days. Other times, we could get lucky." He looked up at the moon, "If it's to do with feeding cycles as I suspect, then we are close to the time it's likely to occur. I really need to see the pattern of when the attacks started before. It'd confirm things, if they began a few days before the full moon."

He stood back up and looked around. "That looks like a trail; lets check it out," Pulling out his light stick, he switched it on.

The two of them turned to follow the trail that wound along the edge of the lake. They soon left the lights of the harbor behind and made the path that threaded its way among the trees and bushes that formed a thickly wooded mass. Picnic areas, silent and abandoned in the moonlight, dotted the trail, and the occasional sound of a night bird broke the gentle silence as they moved along.

"The old guy said everything went silent, before the screaming started," said Alex. "There's too much noise going on at the moment, but I guess he was about here when it started. You want to sit and wait a little, or keep walking?"

Dean looked about, the sea birds were flying high in the still black sky, calling as they made their way to roost, and there was a slight breeze from the lake, carrying with it the scent of the water. He looked down at the bench, moving to sit there, then changed his mind and climbed up to perch on the table. "Sure, why not. I haven't had a late night chat with anyone in a long time. It helps pass the time while waiting for a scary thing to reach out and grab us in the dark." His mind traveled back in time, missing the conversations he used to have with his brother, while his dad was out, scouting around.

Dean looked at his watch, "Not past midnight yet, and usually these things happen around that time." He looked sideways at Alex. "So when you worked with your partner, what was the worst thing you ever saw?"

"We were up against a man who could plant whatever he wanted you to see into your mind. He could come and go without being seen." Alex thought back to the final moments with Coles, and shivered. "It doesn't sound too bad, does it, but he was killing people. He could just cloud peoples' minds and kill and then move on without anyone knowing he'd been there." He paused for a few moments, the memories in his mind very real. "And of course there was a guy who really thought he'd been abducted by aliens. He was completely mad."

He gave Dean a brief smile. "How about you. I bet you've seen some much creepier stuff than I have."

Dean lounged at his ease, listening to Alex as he looked out over the water, idly watching as it lapped at the rocky shore. "Sounds like hypnosis or some shit like that," he said, lips pursed as he mused. "Although I've heard of shadow demons that could do that sort of thing." He glanced over to the man next to him. "And that sounds like either my mom took too many drugs in the 60's or maybe not enough," he added, with a chuckle.

"I saw a striga when I was ten I think. It's like a... I don't know, witch or something. It's a filthy creature that looks old, and it sucks the life force from children; then there's poltergeists, nasty ones, bunches of spirits, ghosts, I could go on forever... But no aliens – not so far, anyway." He shook his head. "Kid shouldn't grow up seeing those kinds of things, you know."

Dean suddenly looked down for a moment, alert all at once. "You hear that?" Dean lifted his head and looked about. "It's silent."

Alex frowned and sat up straight, rising to his feet and heading over towards the edge of the water to look out. A cloud passed across the moon as he did so, extinguishing the bright, silvery light and plunging them temporarily into shadow. As he peered out across the water, he wondered, if the sudden chill playing along his spine was imaginary, or if somehow his body was responding to some strange kind of peril.

He checked his watch and noted that it was a little short of midnight and turned to mutter, "Scary movie clichè, don't you think?" to Dean. As he stood watching for whatever might be out there, the moon reappeared, hanging fat and yellow in the star-sprinkled sky. "Well, so much for the atmospheric creepiness," he snorted. "Missed your chance."

As he was about to turn back to Dean, the sound suddenly came - a low, bubbling sound that welled up to an unearthly scream.

Dean pushed up from where he was sitting, intending to follow Alex to the shore line. He glanced up at the moon before looking out across the water. The hairs on the back of his neck were prickling, and there was something in the air. Alarm bells were going off in his mind as his early warning system for this kind of phenomenon kicked in to raise his hackles and start the goosebumps standing up.

He didn't even answer Alex about missing their chance, because he knew better. Just as the low sound was building, Dean drew his gun, covering at least one of his ears while trying to look for the source. Without thinking he started running in the direction it was coming from, instinct telling him not to escape, but rather to seek and kill.

"Whoa, hold on a minute, Dean." Alex caught hold of his companion's shoulder and held him back. "Are you nuts? You can't get out there without some sort of boat." He cast about, looking along the water's edge for something to row out in but could see nothing. "You want to swim?" He looked dubiously at the calm expanse of the lake, and began to throw his jacket off.

In the distance, the screams continued, louder and more heartbreaking with every second that passed.

Dean stopped, looking back to Alex, blinking as he did so. "Huh?" he asked, still scanning the lake. The sound was near heart-wrenching, and Dean felt the urge to go, felt the cries pulling at him. He paused, felt the talisman about his neck seem to get heavier, suddenly weighing him down and making him feel lead-footed and heavy. He grabbed hold of Alex, "No, no swimming. We need a boat."

He started pulling Alex along, heading back up the shore line as he tugged at him. "We need something else too." He dug around in his pockets and found what he was seeking, pulling them out, "Here, earplugs. You take them." He shoved them over at Alex, and then gave a grunt of satisfaction as he spotted a little rowing boat tied to a post on the shore line.

The screams were more subdued now, a strange, wailing ululation that seemed to throb in the air. Alex scrambled into the boat and grabbed the oars, beginning to paddle as Dean cast off.

"Better tell me which way to go," he murmured, pulling the oars hard and causing the little boat to slide forward through the water. "The earplugs are working, but I can still hear it a little. It's almost like there are words in there - like it's trying to tell us something."

The stars were out, twinkling frostily in the great cavern of the sky, and the water was like hematite under the boat. The strange sounds seemed to damp down the very motion of the wavelets on the water, and Alex rowed hard, waiting for Dean to tell him what to do next.

Dean dropped the rope before sitting down, "Go ahead and to the right, around that rock formation over there." He shouted out his orders, pointing as well to make sure his partner understood.

Green eyes peered, trying to see into the night, barely listening to Alex's words. He didn't have any earplugs, because there had only been one set, and the amulet about his neck was starting to weigh him down, heavier and somehow hotter under his nervous touch.

"Try and make out what it is. Can you see anything?" Dean didn't turn back as he spoke; his eyes were still searching the water, desperately trying to see what was making the sound. He suddenly held up his hand to indicate that Alex should stop rowing. He reached behind himself, pulling the gun out, thumb flipping the safety off as he did so.

Dean shifted his gaze down to the water, before returning his eyes to Alex, "The water." He pointed down. The tide was rushing in, and the water should have been carrying them back toward the docks, but the boat was slowly drifting forward with no aid from Alex or Dean. Dean quickly started patting himself down and finally drew out a small mag-flashlight with a murmur of triumph, twisting it on as he held it under his gun to illuminate their surroundings.

"What the fuck...?" Alex shipped the oars and frowned as the boat gathered speed, heading in the direction that Dean had indicated. "Guess I don't need to row after all." He turned round, peering into the distance, trying to see where they were heading. "I hope that this isn't going to wreck us. The old boy said that the wrecks occurred the day after the screams were heard, didn't he? Not the actual day of the screams."

Dean was nearly hanging over the edge of the boat; still looking about, while Alex was putting the oars up. He shook his head at Alex, "I don't think so," he murmured. There was a movement hazily caught from the corner of his eye, and Dean glanced back, thinking he'd seen something, but not sure exactly what it could be.

There was a sudden sound, and as Dean whipped around, he found himself falling onto Alex, knocking him down flat as something scraped against him. With a yell, he went tumbling out of the boat, hitting the water on his back before going under.

"Jesus!" Alex grabbed one of the oars and hung over the stern, holding it out. "Grab a hold of this, Dean! Quickly." He reached to try and grasp Dean's jacket, succeeding in yanking him to the surface but totally unable to haul him aboard. "What the hell happened? I thought you didn't want to swim."

Dean was coughing as he reached the surface, gasping for air, his hands grabbing for the side of the boat. "You didn't see that thing?" He was trying to catch his breath, still looking around, desperately trying to locate his attacker. "Big. Huge, black. Wings and..." He made a face. "I think it scratched me." His jacket was torn, Alex noticed, and there was red welling up to stain the edges of the rip.

Dean grabbed the edge of the dinghy and lifted his leg, trying to climb back in. "Help me in. I lost my gun." he grabbed for anything he thought might help him get back into the boat, and Alex jumped.

"Careful, or you'll have us both in the drink," Alex moved over to balance the boat, hanging over the other side. "Okay, now try, but be careful."

A dark shape flew over, missing Alex narrowly as he ducked, and he swore, breathing a sigh of relief as he saw Dean tumble into the bottom of the boat. "Thank goodness, man, I thought you were gonna be swimming behind the boat all the way back to land. He grabbed at the oars and sat waiting to see if he could score a direct hit with one, if the creature tried to buzz them again. "Here! Take my gun; it's yours anyway. I'll try for a direct hit with this."

Dean rolled his ass into the boat, dripping with water. From where he sat, he could see the dark shape fly overhead, and he just stared for a moment. Shit. The thing was big... Absolutely enormous... and it looked like a bird, but the head... He stared at the head, finding it really hard to believe his own eyes.

The head was human.

Dean grabbed for the gun, "Just row us back to shore. I don't think this is going to do the job." He swallowed, shivering from the cold water. It seemed to Dean that the water in the Great Lakes was always fucking freezing. "But I think I have an idea now what we are up against." He managed to get himself seated on one of the benches again, looking up, prepared for another attack.

"Did you see it?" Alex started to row, pulling the boat around so that it was pointing back towards the shore and putting his back into it as he rowed hard and fast to try to break out of the current that had been dragging them closer and closer to the rocks where the other boats had perished. "What was it? All I saw was a big bird of some sort."

The current seemed suddenly to stop its tugging, and the boat hurtled back towards land, Dean still shivering as he sat huddled in the stern with his teeth chattering. The sounds had stopped, and the lake was placid once more, calm and quiet. As the keel grated on the pebbles at the lakeside, Alex leaped out to secure it and help Dean to land. "Come on, let's get you back so that you're warm and dry."

Dean didn't answer Alex; all he could do was shiver, trying to keep his teeth from rattling together too loudly. He was looking back toward the rocks and what they were rowing away from. This wasn't going to be easy - but then, Dean couldn't remember when any of his jobs had ever been easy.

With Alex's help, he climbed out of the boat, shivering still. If anything his tremors had gotten worse. He nodded to Alex, "Warm and dry sounds good about now, and a hot cup of coffee would be spiffy too."

"Hot coffee, check!" Alex took Dean's arm and started to jog back along the trail towards the motel. "Best get you indoors first, and into a hot shower. Then I'll go foraging for any beverage you think will help." He chuckled as Dean picked up the pace, and the two of them broke into a full on run.

The motel soon appeared in the distance, and Alex turned to Dean as they ran. "You gonna make it the rest of the way alone? I'll go find you some coffee, if you like."

Dean had glanced back now and again as he jogged beside Alex, fearful that the creature might follow them back, although everything seemed quiet, and the screams had stopped. He began to run faster, breaking into a sprint, because all he could think about was a hot shower. As the motel came into view he slowed to a trot, sucking in a huff of air and studying Alex once again, gauging his sincerity. "Yeah, I can get there," he nodded.

He made for the room, looking back at Alex as his companion tore off in the direction of the town. Frowning, he turned away and headed for their room. What was it about that man that had Dean all twisted up inside? He hadn't been close to any chance-met fuck or felt this way about anyone else except his family, ever, and yet he'd suddenly got this incredible urge to protect Alex, even though it was only a couple of days since he'd found him. Why was it suddenly so important to make sure the man was safe and taken care of? Dammit! Dean fought against the idea, but deep down he knew that he was falling for the man he knew as Val Arntzen.

He shook his head, resisting that idea as he pushed into the room and started tearing his clothing off, littering all the way to the bathroom, where he turned the shower on hot. Climbing under the spray, Dean finally managed to stop shivering.

Alex had peeled off in the direction of a bar they'd spotted earlier and entered, determined that he'd get money together to buy Dean at least a coffee. He considered hustling, but after a few minutes of looking around, he saw his chance and boosted a wallet, while the owner was otherwise occupied making out with a pretty girl.

Out on the street once again, he paused to count his spoils. Two credit cards and a wad of cash made him smile, and he headed straight for an Indian restaurant he'd seen, figuring that spicy food would be good for Dean. Another ten minutes and he was heading back to the motel, a carrier bag full of food and other groceries from the local Jiffymart, a bottle of scotch, a spicy take-out and two large coffees in hand.

Entering the motel room, he put his purchases down on the table, and smiled at Dean, who was busy toweling his hair dry. "Mighty hunter returns with food for table. How're you doing?"

Dean's shower had been hot and long, and when he finally emerged, he'd wrapped himself in towels, one around his hips, another around his shoulders and one around his head. He was busy drying off when Alex walked in, and he turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Damn, dude, how the hell did you get all that?" He walked over to take the bag and peek into it. The smell of Indian food wafted around him, and he looked at Alex with a smile. "Dude, is it too early for me to say I love you?"

He sat down at the small table, digging into the bag to pull out the food. "How did you afford all this? Ooo, coffee. Now I'm really in love." Tearing off some of the bread to eat, he gave Alex a sultry look.

"It's never too soon for love," laughed Alex, grabbing the cutlery and taking some of the rice. "You can tell me any time, and I won't beat you up about it." He settled back in a chair and spooned some of the curry sauce over his rice, then sat watching Dean. "I figured that we needed funds, so I borrowed some that was lying about. A feller got careless with his wallet, if you know what I mean."

Dean took some of the chicken with the masala to pour over his rice and then helped himself to the saag paneer. Leaning back to start eating, his eyes studied the items that Alex had laid on the table for his inspection. Setting his plate down, he examined them carefully. "This might be good for a few days," he said contemptuously, tossing the credit card aside. "There isn't a chance that the guy had a pin number in his wallet, did he? We could make a cash withdrawal and then ditch the card. At least we could get that." Dean smirked and reached over, stealing a bit of chicken off Alex's plate.

"Nah, no PIN - that was the first thing I checked," responded Alex. "I figured that I had the chance to get in some groceries before he reported the card missing, so that's what I did, but I don't think it'll be good by morning. He's bound to notice." Alex smirked as he filed away the notion that Dean wasn't above a little petty larceny.

Dean nodded, sitting back, once more to eat his food. Okay. He trusted Alex on this. They would have to ditch the card in the morning. No big loss to Dean, and it was clear to Dean that the man he knew as Val had lifted more than a few wallets himself.

As Alex shook his head, Dean rose to his feet and went over to his bag to dig out some clothing. "That thing I saw - I think I know what it is. I'm just not sure what kind." He turned to face Alex. "It's a siren. They come in many forms. Some look like mermaids, others just seem like plain women. But this one... has the face of a woman but the body of a bird. I need to hit the library in the morning and find out just what that implies, and then hopefully we can find a way to destroy it, before it harms anyone else.

His companion's words had most definitely been a shock, but Dean was obviously waiting for his response, so he widened his eyes, not sure if this version of extreme possibility wasn't a little much for him to take. "A siren? You're not kidding me, are you? You really think this thing is a creature from Greek mythology? I thought that it was harpies that had women's faces and bird's bodies."

"There are several mythologies that involve Sirens," said Dean, his face turning serious. "We just need to find the right one, and logically, starting with the Greeks sounds like a good idea. And you will find out, folk tales change over the years - they mutate. Either way, there are sirens, or at least one, at the root of all this trouble, I'm convinced of that. All I know is I need to stop it."

He went back to eating, but suddenly paused, "You think your friends can do some looking too?"

"I don't see why not." Alex gave Dean a long, appraising look. "Although they'll probably laugh their asses off first. I'll give them a call."

Finished with his food, he pushed his plate to one side and laid down the fork he'd been using. "So let me recap. We've got a siren that's a bird with a woman's head dive bombing people at full moon. We need to find out what mythology she's from - presumably because that's how we'll know how to kill her. Why would she be there? What is there about that place? I think we need to research that as well, don't you?" He laughed and shook his head. "Put like that, it sounds really nuts."

"Wouldn't be the first time I've heard someone laugh at me. Most community college professors give me laughs and weird looks." Dean reached over, sipping his coffee. He set his cup down and studied his green-eyed partner. "That's right, we find the mythology, and we find a way to kill her or drive her away, whatever it takes. As to why she would be here. That is simple. Look around." He motioned at the window.

"It's out of the way. Not very busy. Small. And it seems to follow a cycle with the moon. I have a feeling things might go even deeper than that, like we'll possibly find that there's some yearly cycle, or maybe even longer." He pushed up from the table and went over to sit upon the bed.

Alex gathered up Dean's cell phone and punched in the numbers, waiting to hear the Gunmen pick up. When he heard the voice on the other end of the line, he smiled in slight relief - it was John Byers who had answered, and he knew that if any of them would take him seriously it would be the studious, thoughtful Byers.

Quickly explaining what he needed, he gave John the number of the cell phone and then disconnected, turning back to the table to start clearing up the debris of their meal and putting away into the small fridge the groceries he'd bought.

"Now what, sensei?" he asked.

Dean had listened as his companion had made his phone call and given his number. He might have to put these guys into his address book to keep; who knew when he might need them in the future? Connections were always good to have.

"Sensei?" Dean gave a chuckle and shook his head. "Get some sleep. I'm gonna do some research." He rose to his feet, going to his bag to pull out his own journal, then sat back down on the bed, starting to look through all the notes he'd taken, leaning into Alex for a back rest as he flipped through the pages to update some of his notes.

Alex curled himself around Dean, content to be with his lover as he worked. He was convinced that he had lucked out, although he was still getting sweats and shakes from time to time without the drugs he'd been using. He'd decided that now he was off them, he would press through the shivering and puking to get himself clean. Dean and the lifestyle he seemed to live suited Alex perfectly, and he could feel himself relaxing his guard as he grew more comfortable with the handsome younger man.

"What're you doin'?" he finally asked, nuzzling against the back of Dean's neck. Dean found it strange how comfortable he was getting around this man. For the first time in what seemed like forever he, too, was able to let his guard down for just a while. He wondered, if he was making another mistake, the way he'd done with Cassie, but this guy wasn't running away or thinking he was nuts; in fact from what Dean had learned about the newcomer, he'd found himself a guy who actually believed in aliens.

Dean turned his head to lean it against Alex's. "Making notes. Writing you into my diary," he teased, turning to a page which had a drawing on it that was labeled 'Shadow People,' before turning the page again. "Just making some notes. It's a journal my dad taught me how to keep. He said... it helps, and it comes in handy. Call it an encyclopedia in progress. It's something that can be passed on. I have a whole lot of information I carry with me about the creatures we've fought. There are also... chants, spells, whatever you want to call them. I've collected spells that ward off spirits, things like exorcisms, key words you need to know to detect demons, and a bunch of stuff like that."

He leaned down and kissed Alex before going back to his book, then stopped, frowning at a note he'd made earlier. Sitting up, away from Alex, he became pensive, chewing the tip of his pen thoughtfully. "Dude... what if this siren is because of something that happened here in times gone by? What if she is really a spirit that..." He leaned back, returning to his reverie once again.

Alex caught the side of Dean's face with the palm of his hand and pressed his mouth against Dean's, allowing him to explore the interior of his mouth, curling his tongue against Dean's. He was warm, comfortable and well fed, and he had what had to be the most beautiful man he'd ever seen sitting on the bed beside him. He wondered if he was actually dead, because this felt like heaven, and he finally decided that it couldn't possibly be heaven, because he was almost definitely bound for the other place, when his luck eventually failed, and he died.

He caught Dean's words and tried to think of whacked-out circumstances that might finish up with a siren in the back yard. "You mean like a curse or something?" he asked Dean. "Do we know when the manifestation first began?"

"Dad told me one thing I've never forgotten. You know that spirits don't always come back in their own forms; they mutate – they change into other forms, if they're pissed off enough. We need to find out some history of this town. Then there's murders. I have the feeling that this thing is not only feeding but also getting revenge, and not just on a single person but on the whole town."

Turning back to Alex, Dean lay back against him, closing his book and setting it aside. He turned to Alex, pulling him in close and sighing. It was then that he felt Alex trembling a little. "We aren't gonna find out anything more 'til the morning. We might as well get some sleep." He tucked Alex's head under his chin, holding him as he used to hold Sam when they were younger, and he'd slept with his brother to protect him.

Dean had begun to wonder what he was getting himself into. This man was sexy. Delicious in many ways, and he was a great kisser. Plus he was not afraid of what Dean did, but there was also something else. He reminded him of Sam in a way he couldn't quite pinpoint. There was this underlying child in the man he knew as Val that wanted and needed the attention Dean was so used to giving. And it made him feel good to be needed... wanted by someone. His brother had already left him, and Dean suspected, fatalist that he was, that it was only a matter of time, before his Dad left him too. It was a gut feeling he had, that had been there for some time.

What really was getting to Dean was the fact he could fall in love with Val.

You knew, when you suddenly got the need to share, that you were screwed. Alex bit his lip for a moment, trying to suppress the need in him to tell Dean all about just who he was, and the things that he'd done. Lie low 'til the feeling passes off, Krycek, he thought to himself.

Dean's arms around him suddenly felt like the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he sighed, snuggling in against the other man.

"Shouldn't be too hard to get the history of the town," he murmured against Dean's neck. "These little places always have libraries, and some of them have museums too. I'll bet this place has a museum. It's just that sort of town."

He was sleepy in a way he could rarely afford to be. He could feel himself losing focus and wondered what the next few days would bring. One thing was for sure, if he was going to stay with Dean for any length of time, he'd better come clean about his identity, because if Dean found out by accident about his duplicity, it would likely be the end of a beautiful friendship. He resolved to tell Dean when they woke up, and the last thing he thought of before sleep claimed him was just how lucky he was to have found this.

"Yeah, some small towns are so predictable," Dean's hand gently stroked Alex's back, and it seemed to help settle both of them and make them both sleepy. He moved his hand down Alex's back, passing it over one buttock then back up again. He curled a leg over Alex's, weaving their bodies tightly together.

Closing his eyes, Dean fell into a light sleep. His companion was nice and warm, and quickly helped Dean reach a deeper level of sleep than usual, but Dean's mind wouldn't shut off. He kept dreaming of that siren and of feeling himself being pulled towards it. Weirdly, there was always another voice calling him. so he would turn back, but when he would turn, he couldn't see who it was. When morning finally came, Dean was the first to open his eyes, a little surprised to find that he was still holding Val to him.

Alex was definitely not used to sleeping all night with another person; his usual MO was to fuck and run, so it was with great surprise that he realized that it was morning, and that he'd slept soundly, wrapped in Dean's embrace.

"Morning," he whispered, sleep clouding his voice, feeling a little embarrassed at being so shamelessly close. "Did you sleep?"

Dean's own eyes were laced with sleep, as was his smile. "Morning to you too." He clung tighter to Alex and his hand rubbed over the other man's back, reflecting the gentle caresses of the night before. Dean felt he really should pull back. He should be rolling away and getting up to get dressed, but the man in his arms felt too warm and cozy, and Dean wanted to bask in the glow for just a bit longer.

"I slept; how about you?" he asked as he leaned in to kiss at Alex's neck. One hand moved down, cupping a buttock cheek and pressing them together. Dean moved his mouth up Alex's neck and along his jaw, nibbling back to his ear. "I slept very well," he whispered against Alex's ear.

"Amazingly enough, I slept like the dead." Alex gave a throaty little moan and moved in closer to Dean. "I thought I might be kept awake, because I'm not used to sharing a bed, but either I'm too tired to cause trouble, or you're really, really easy to sleep with." He turned his face in towards Dean's, nuzzling his cheek and rasping his nose against Dean's morning stubble. He was already feeling horny, and he nipped at the skin around Dean's mouth, then chuckled. "Let me go take a leak, and then I'll come back and give you the world's best start to the day, ok?"

Dean closed his eyes, sighing contently. "You slept pretty good before too, so I'll just take the ego trip and think it's all because of me." He smirked, then released Alex with much reluctance. "If you insist," he growled, rolling onto his back. He gave another sigh and started pushing Alex out of the bed, "So hurry up, or I'm gonna have to start without you."

Laughing, Alex unwound himself from the warmth of Dean's arms and headed for the bathroom in a hurry, quickly emptying his bladder and brushing his teeth before racing back to the bed and crawling along until he was poised above Dean. "Okay, man, I'm fit for anything now."

Dean had watched as Alex got up to head to the bathroom, and now he shifted on the bed, moving toward the center of the cheap mattress to await his return, offering him that little sexy smile of his.

He looked up to Alex, hands going to the man's ribs just to rest there. "Anything?" he asked, before their lips collided, and he could taste the toothpaste still remaining in Alex's sweet mouth.

Lowering himself until he was hovering over Dean, Alex kissed him, open mouthed and sloppy, his tongue seeking out the slick warmth behind Dean's lush lips, finding and curling around his lover's tongue with his own. His hands trailed over Dean's sleep-warmed skin, pausing to pinch a nipple before sliding downwards, until one of them gripped a hip, and the other hovered over Dean's swelling dick, palming it then moving lower to cup and tickle his balls. "Looks like you've got a bit of a swelling here. Think I should get a doctor?"

Dean's body jerked at the pinch. "Ahh, you're such a tease," he murmured, voice hoarse. He thrust his hips up against Alex, then chuckled, "A doctor huh?" he asked. "I hate hospitals. Maybe you should just give me the once-over yourself and save me from hospital hell." Dean caressed Alex's back as he spoke.

"Oh, at least once," grinned Alex, bending to lick a line from Dean's neck to his navel. "We can't be too thorough, when it comes to your health." He paused to play in Dean's belly button, licking around it and smirking when Dean bucked his hips a little to remind him what lay below. "Patience, patience, beautiful. We can't just check out one or two parts; we have to check out every little bit."

He moved down, nibbling along one of Dean's thighs, watching as his balls drew up, the fine skin crinkling as his breath tickled them. "You are one fine man, you know that?"

"Of course I am," Dean smirked again before running his fingers through Alex's hair. "Takes one to know one." He pushed his hips up again, seeking contact.

Dean looked down at Alex, his stomach trembling under the licks. His teeth clenched and he hissed out a breath as Alex started teasing once more. "Never been one to have too much patience," he said, smiling ruefully. He squirmed restlessly, but Alex's body was keeping his movements limited.

"Guess I'll have to teach you, then." Alex snickered, low and dirty, bending to lick Dean's balls before returning his attention to his inner thigh. "You're worth it."

He licked along the inside of Dean's thigh, lifting his leg and pulling his knee out so that every part of Dean was exposed. "You're hot, too."

Swooping down, he began to paint Dean's cock with his tongue, playing over it with little licks and kisses, swirling his tongue around the ridge at the base of its crown and chuckling as Dean attempted to buck into the caress.

Dean couldn't help the little moans escaping him, or the trembling in his legs and his stomach as Alex continued to tease him with that all too talented tongue. He shook his head, trying not to agree with the man. He'd never felt like he was worth it. To him, it was obvious that his family didn't think so.

Dean's hips bucked up; he seemed completely unable to stop them from doing so. That flat lick at his cock, followed by the little nibbles and kisses, the tease around his rim, all had Dean wanting to babble words he might regret later. He reached a hand down, scraping blunt nails through Alex's dark hair. "Val, you're too good at this," he groaned. He could not tear his eyes away from how Alex was working him.

With his free hand, Dean held his legs open, loving how that made Alex look, down between his legs.

There was fear in Alex's heart, and the blinding smile he sent to Dean from his position between Dean's widely spread legs was pure bravado. The feelings that clamored for acknowledgement were all too real and deeply rooted for him to be able to deny them any more. He smiled down at Dean, rather more tenderly than he meant to and bent to suck on the cock he was holding in his hand, taking it in as deeply as he could.

"I thought I wanted to make you scream with need, but now, all of a sudden, I just want to watch you come, over and over and over again. Is that a sickness?" Pulling back for a moment, Alex beamed another smile at Dean, and then he dove down again and began to work Dean's cock hard.

Dean made a little face, "Making me scream could be a bad thing, you know. These walls are paper thin, and I really don't think it's the wake-up call people are asking for." He smirked momentarily, but then his head dropped back, and for that moment he was no longer able to think anything coherent. Alex's warm mouth dove down upon him, engulfed him, and he shivered, legs shaking as lips touched down to the base of his cock then slid back up. Dean found it hard to believe that the Mulder guy Val had told him about could possibly have given this up without a fight. He groaned deeply, fingers tightening in his lover's hair.

"Shit," he groaned out, neck arching as his head pressed back against the pillows, and his spine bowed. "Then... ahhh... I must be sick too." Dean felt his insides tighten as Alex kept moving, giving him the best blow job he had felt in a long time. He had to release Alex's hair, fearing he would hurt him. "You keep doing this... I'm gonna... too quickly."

"Point taken about the walls," husked Alex. "Does that mean I need to gag you?" He chuckled, sliding back down over Dean's slick, quivering cock and working it as hard as he could. "I can do that whenever you want," he murmured.

Pausing to suck his fingers and moisten them, he returned to his task of sucking at Dean, but his fingers began to probe down between his buttocks, pressing and teasing as he sought for entry there.

Dean gave a desperate laugh that rapidly changed into a moan. "I'll... keep that in mind... ahhhgod!" He let out another groan, a little louder than before, and he had the feeling he might need to cover his vocalizations with a pillow very soon. He felt as if his mind was going to explode, felt fingers pushing, probing 'til they found his entrance and started to slip inside him. His hips tried to lift up, but all Val's weight would really allow him to do was move his legs, spread them wider and moan.

He was scared shitless that he had allowed himself to fall for this man, but he'd already begun to care, and how on earth could he stop something that was already pretty much a fait accomplis?

Alex had purchased lube and condoms when he'd hit the supermarket the night before, and now he began to slick himself up and work a little of the slippery lotion into Dean.

"I love fucking in the morning," he murmured, lazily mouthing the head of Dean's cock as he concentrated. "It's always more relaxed and feels better. It sets me up for the day."

Dean couldn't help the slight pucker as the lotion touched his skin in that area, but soon he was relaxing into the motion of fingers slicking him up. "So I'm finding out, will have to put this down in my... journal... Sex, morning, big bonus..." He groaned deeply as his whole body gave a shudder, amazed at how this man made him feel.

Rolling the condom into place on his own, stiff dick, Alex sucked Dean down hard, feeling the leaking crown slide over his palate to bump against the back of his throat. His fingers were now sliding freely in and out of Dean's ass, each time delving a little deeper. As Alex felt Dean's excitement grow, he suddenly pulled away

Alex had stopped for a moment, and Dean lifted his head in wonder, then saw the reason. A condom. He gave a smirk, throwing his head back once more as that talented mouth covered him and fingers slipped inside, finding their way easily. He was panting harder, shifting his hips with need, and Alex stopped moving yet again. Dean was about to make a very vocal protest, when Alex asked his question.

"Ready?" Alex looked up at Dean. "Cos, ready or not, here I come."

Kneeling up, he pulled Dean's legs up 'til they were resting on his shoulders and began to slide his cock inside the tight, slippery channel of Dean's ass.

"Ready?" Dean had that look on his face that told Alex that was a silly question. Folded nearly in half, he winced a little as Alex started to push in, but the expression soon passed as pleasure quickly replaced the initial burn, and he moaned when the crown of Alex's dick rubbed past his gland. All of a sudden, he found himself letting out sounds the like of which he hadn't made in a very long time.

Pressing slowly into Dean, Alex bit his lip to keep from groaning. He shuddered, feeling the heat of Dean surround him as the silky tissues clasped his dick. "Ah, fuck," he breathed, pressing down so that he could kiss Dean's mouth. "You feel so incredibly fucking wonderful. I may move in and never leave."

He waited, sunk to the depths in Dean's ass, letting Dean adjust to the unfamiliar stretching. "Gonna fuck you," he whispered, his voice husky with the strain of holding still. "Tell me when you're ready. Tell me when you want it, and I'll give it to you good."

Dean leaned up into the kiss, stretching his neck so he could meet those lips. He groaned into Alex's mouth, drawing in the other man's breath as he inhaled. His eyes turned glassy, "Move in? To what? My car?" As ever Dean joked, avoiding what he really wanted to say.

"Move into your ass, doof!" Alex kissed him gently, then again, harder this time, tongue stroking over his pretty lips before sliding inside. "Stay right here, like this, forever, because... because I've never felt quite so good before."

The wait seemed like forever, Dean's ass throbbing with the feel of stretched muscles and skin. He wetted his too-dry lips, and his toes flexed in anticipation. Finally, he gave a nod to Alex's husky whisper, "Fuck me, Val. Make it all I can think about all day."

Alex started to move, gritting his teeth as he fought his own body's desire to pound away 'til he came, cock pulling out slowly and then sliding gently back, pressing home until he was so deep inside that his balls pressed up against Dean's buttocks. "I'll make it exactly that. You're gonna have to stand up to do your research, beautiful, because your ass is going to feel like I'm still in there."

His hands gripped Dean's thighs, and he moved a little faster now, straightening up so he could take hold of Dean's cock and work it, eyes fixed on Dean's as he did so. "I want to watch your face when you come. I want to see what I'm doing to you roll over you and flatten you out."

Dean reached for those lips again, returning the long, gentle kiss with a passion that seemed to set them both on fire. His hands gripped Alex's strong arms, gripping as he fought to breathe in his curled-up position. Alex felt filling and wonderful, and just having him like this had Dean wanting him even more.

The slow withdrawal had the young hunter groaning, squeezing the arm muscles he held, only to release them again, flexing his fingers as he felt Alex's balls pressing to his skin. "Good reason," was all he could manage to say. If for any reason he did have to stand, his body would know about it, and it would be the best of all reasons for him to hurt. Fun times.

The bed was rocking now, tapping at the wall, and Dean put his hands over his head to press them to the headboard, so he wouldn't slide. He didn't want to end up shoved up against the headboard and gradually lose contact with Alex. And even now, he was still trying to figure out what it was about this man that made him want, nearly need him. He was afraid that deep down inside he knew the answer to that.

Teeth clenched, body trembled, cock twitched and leaked in his lover's hand. "Won't have to wait long... ahhh shit," he growled as his whole body bucked.

Alex watched Dean, wanting to see him come apart, loving the way his mouth fell loose-lipped and desperate, and his eyes lost focus as his passion mounted. He was starting to feel the tickles of approaching orgasm himself, and he speeded up his movements, bucking and thrusting in fiercely as he tried to force himself just another fraction deeper, harder, more inside of Dean.

"Can't keep it going," he panted, words gritted out through desperate intakes of breath. "God, Dean, you..."

Dean's body rocked willingly against Alex's, as if addicted to the mere touch and feel of the man deep inside him. His head thrashed, fingers curling for a tighter grip, if it were only possible, and he started to feel his body tighten up.

With a short, choked-off cry, and a tensing of his body, Dean released, spilling his come onto Alex's hand and over himself. His eyes were closed tightly, lips parted from the cry he'd made, before he fell back, temporarily dead to the world. He closed his mouth quickly to hold back the words that were trying to reach the tip of his tongue, words he feared he would never be able to take back, if they once managed to escape.

Alex followed Dean down, muscles cracking with the tension in his body, heart thumping so loudly that it seemed it was attempting to fight its way out of his chest as his cock pulsed jet after jet of thick white cream.

He couldn't believe how incredible Dean looked, teeth sunk hard into his lower lip as he was rocked by an ecstasy that appeared to be so sweet it was almost painful. He felt a twisting in his heart, and he suddenly knew that he was hooked, and that either he should take off and run right now, or end up needing Dean the way his body needed oxygen.

He was afraid that it was too late, and that he already did. He also knew that he didn't want to run, that he would embrace this weird new profession as a ghostbuster, just because he didn't want to let Dean go.

Falling forward, he buried his face into Dean's neck, inhaling the warm scent of his new lover and wishing that the moment could last forever.

Dean turned his head in to Alex, locking them together tenderly. His hands moved, going to rest around his lover. He lowered his legs as much as he could, while Alex was still buried deep inside him. Dean wanted to bask in this for a while, already the ache was warming him, even better than a fresh cup of coffee would. Dean could get used to feeling like this first thing in the morning.

"Dude, someone is gonna have to move, because I need a cup of java, before I fall back to sleep in this warmth," he murmured at last and started pushing Alex gently, trying to roll them to their sides and to get Alex to dislodge from him. "Need a shower too, gotta get to the library as soon as possible and find out about that critter from last night." He grabbed Alex's chin and kissed him deeply before pulling back, "Now get off me, before I get a stick out."

"Yessir, massa boss!" Alex chuckled. He'd been so close to falling back to sleep himself that he knew exactly what Dean meant. "And coffee sounds like a really good idea."

He slowly pulled himself away from Dean, feeling a little pang as they separated. "The library sounds good," he said. "It'll give us a bit of background, I hope." Pushing himself up to sitting, he studied Dean. "You're having a weird effect on me, man."

Dean made a face as Alex withdrew, but then he rolled from the bed and sat up. He was a mess, but it felt like the very best kind of mess to him. His body ached in a good way, and with a nice, hot shower it would feel even better. He glanced back to Alex, giving him a puzzled look.

"What? What do you mean weird effect? Like in the, 'I'm feeling really good,' effect or the, 'What the fuck did I just do' effect?'" He pushed up, "You know what, never mind that I asked that. Don't think I wanna know the answer." He went into the bathroom, closing the door and started the shower.

Dean kept telling himself he shouldn't get attached. He couldn't. It was dangerous. Even if Alex understood what he did, Dean couldn't risk his lover's life like that. He decided that when this hunt was done he had to cut loose, had to break away, before he got too attached, and then as he was staring at the mirror, looking back at himself, Dean suddenly knew... It was too late, and the hurt in his eyes was already showing.

Similar thoughts were flickering through Alex's mind, but by the time it was his turn in the bathroom he had regained his game face, and he was no longer feeling as if he would blurt out his feelings for Dean. He couldn't stop looking at him, though; couldn't take his eyes off the lean, strong body and the handsome face.

He washed and shaved quickly and was ready to go by the time Dean was. Heading out, he gave Dean a loving smile. "Coffee first, I guess, and lots of it. That must be where you get your tan!"

Part 8: In a Strange Way, I'll Love You Forever

in a strange way
i'll love you forever
cause the same thing always happens every night
i know you're just around the corner
your life out of order
and in a strange way, i'll love you forever
"Strange Way," by Steve Carlson

Dean was dressed by the time Alex finished, and he had his journal tucked inside his jacket pocket. He also had his gun at his back, in case that creature showed up again for some reason. As he straightened up and glanced over at Alex, he allowed his eyes to linger for a moment or two, taking him in, until at last he could tear his eyes away.

He headed out the door first, "Lock it," he ordered Alex, while he dug for his keys. "Coffee first," he got into the car, settling himself behind the wheel as he waited for Alex, then started her up and pulled out. "Tan? Yeah, coffee gives me that good coloring. Same color going in as coming out." He put the Impala into drive and headed for the downtown area, finding a parking space near the library, close by a little diner.

Getting out of the car, they shut the doors and headed over to the diner, "Hopefully this place has internet access. You hear anything from your boyfriends?" Dean asked as they walked in. He flashed his usual stunning smile at the sweet little girl behind the counter. "Anyone ever tell you that you bring sunshine into a rather dreary day?" he asked her, his smile loaded with charm. "Coffee, straight up." "Make that two, please?" Alex smiled at the girl too, enjoying the effect that Dean seemed to be having on her. Increasingly it felt as though his new lover was having a similar effect on him, and as Dean smiled his widest, most seductive smile, Alex felt his chest tightening, and his body responding in ways that made him worry about how he was ever going to get through the day.

Sipping the coffee was a way to look at Dean and hide his face at the same time, and when the girl seemed to be inviting a come-on from Dean, he felt himself tighten up, start to growl, ready to move in and make her back off. The very thought that Dean might want to pick up the little barista seemed to be doing wonders for his aggressive streak. Fondling the gun Dean had loaned him, Alex sipped his coffee and ill wished her. Dean took his cup with another of those dazzling smiles directed at the girl, along with a wink. "If the food is as good as the coffee, I might have to order some," he announced, making for one of the tables. He sat down across from Alex, then set his cup down and went over to fetch back a paper. Finally he settled himself down to drink his coffee.

Pulling his phone out, he started scanning for any received messages and gave a little, frowning sigh, because his father had not called, nor, as expected, had his brother Sam. Dean was tempted – as he had been so many times before - to call Sam, but his brother had made it all too clear to him that he didn't want any more personal contact while he was at school. The last time he had tried to talk to Sam, his brother hadn't even bothered to return the call.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Dean started looking through recent calls and spotted the number Alex had dialed the night before. He smiled at Alex and hit the button to dial the number. Dean waited to see who would pick up the phone, because as far as he was concerned, it was high time he should start getting the answers he needed. And it was gonna be fun for Dean to talk to these guys for a change.

The phone rang and rang, and just as it seemed that it would go to voicemail, someone picked up. "City morgue. You stab 'em; we slab 'em!" said the voice at the other end of the line. "Shouldn't you be out there battling the forces of good, Krycek, instead of bothering us?"

Dean looked over to Alex. Krycek? So he had lied about his name. Dean began to wonder what else Alex had lied about, even though Dean had been helping him. "Aww, did your mommy let you play with the phone?" He turned his chair slightly, so that he could see Alex better, "I'm sorry, Krycek can't come to the phone right now, but I think you will find me a lot more entertaining. I need to know what you found out about sirens."

On the other end of the phone, Byers saw the look on Langley's face and moved in closer. "What is it?" He asked in a whisper.

"Sounds like someone's got Krycek. There's a joker on the phone wanting to know what we found out about the sirens he asked us to look for, but he says that Alex can't come to the phone right now. Do you think we ought to change our number?" Langly raised his eyebrows at Byers and passed the phone over to him as he reached for it.

"Hello. My name is John Byers. Who am I speaking with, and where's Krycek?"

Dean was giving Krycek his usual, 'I discovered something and I'm not happy about it,' kind of look. He could hear the phone being transferred and concealed the grimace he would ordinarily make, because the man on the other end of the line shared the same first name as his father.

"Someone with a little more phone etiquette. How nice." Dean leaned back in his chair. "Name's Dean Winchester, and he's right here with me, enjoying a nice cup of grounds." Dean took a sip of his own. "He's been using my phone in case you wanted to know. Listen, I just need to know what you found out about sirens. I know a little about them, luring men to their deaths in boats. What I need to know is if you've got anything about a certain kind - the ones with a human head and chest but the body of a bird. Is there a way to kill them is what we really need to know?" The tone of Dean's voice had shifted and was now deadly serious.

"You gave us a tough one," murmured Byers, and his voice sounded faintly amused. "You wouldn't care to tell us why you want the information, and how you managed to get hooked up with the delightful Alex Krycek, would you?"

Dean gave a little shrug even though Byers couldn't see him, "Couldn't make it too easy on you, could I?" He shifted in his chair. "I think I have a siren on my hands, and I need to kill it before it harms any other fishermen out here. As for..." Dean paused at the name, "Krycek, I'll let him tell you all about it, if you get a chance to see him... and I manage to dislodge my boot from his ass."

Byers gave a short laugh. "As you can imagine, there isn't much in the literature about siren killing, but there are two things we did turn up, and I suppose that there might possibly be others, if we keep looking. You got a preference for scientific or mystical? You can use a silver sword that's been blessed by the gods and cut off her head, or you can cover her with sulphuric acid. Apparently either scenario will be effective. Oh, and a feather from her wing is supposed to be a powerful charm to promote good health. How's that?"

"Wait a minute, you said a feather can be used as a powerful charm? Gee boys, I think you just earned yourself some cookies." Dean watched as Alex stood at the counter.

As Dean was talking, Alex had gotten up to go and order food for the two of them, and was now returning with eggs, bacon, hashbrowns and toast. Setting Dean's plate down in front of him, he took his own seat and sat looking expectantly at Dean.

"Sulfuric acid," continued Dean. "Okay, I can get some of that. But there is something else, ummm," Dean hesitated a moment, "Just... how good are you guys? Can you... look up someone for me?" Dean heard Alex returning with the food and looked up at him, frowning.

"You think she has some sulphuric acid behind the counter?" he asked Alex, covering the phone with his hands for a moment. "We're gonna need some, babycakes."

"Sulphuric acid?" Alex sounded completely at sea. "Why would she have sulphuric acid behind the counter? I thought the coffee was pretty damned good." He pushed Dean's plate towards him and gestured. "I guessed what you'd like, but hopefully there's nothing you hate in there."

He sat back expectantly, looking at Dean, who had returned his attention to the phone at his ear.

"Depends who you want us to look up," said Byers, in answer to Dean's question. "We can pretty much go anywhere in cyberspace, but you need to allow us a little time for the meatier subjects. You got someone you want a profile on? Who are you working for? You're not a fed, if you're hanging with Krycek."

Dean gazed at the man across the table from him as the voice on the other end of the phone told him what he should have already known. He drew a breath, "Actually there are two people. Not sure how hard it would be to find them. First is Sam Winchester; he's my brother. He's going to school at Stanford. That one shouldn't be too hard, but the other will be a little more difficult. John Winchester's the name. Don't give this information to anyone else... Please," Dean added a little more softly. The last time I heard from my dad, he was out in Oregon. Call me back as soon as you get anything."

Dean hung up the phone and then tasted the food that Alex had brought. "We need to find some sulphuric acid, unless you know of a place were we can find a sword blessed by the gods."

"Will any gods do, or does it have to be specific ones?" Alex chuckled, "If ever I get near my safety deposit box in Arlington, I've got a katana that's supposed to have been blessed by the Shichi-Fuku-Jin - they're the seven gods of happy good fortune in Japan, but if you're looking for right now, maybe we need to go drain a couple of car batteries. That'll provide us with enough sulphuric acid to take care of the thing we saw last night, although I'm not sure how you intend to get the sulphuric acid to the critter."

Alex took a long drink of his coffee and then raised his eyes to Dean, willing him to look at him. "Hey, I've got something I need to tell you, okay?"

Dean shoved his phone back into his pocket, grabbing up his fork and starting to eat. He glanced up to Alex from under his brows and quirked one. "Water gun," he answered. "Supersoaker at the store should do the job." He started to eat again but then paused, unable to keep up his pretence of calm any longer. He leaned back, taking his cup in hand and took a long drink. "Really? Well," he set his cup down and looked at Alex with an angry, telling expression on his face. "I should say you do... Krycek."

Alex met Dean's eyes with a steady gaze, his face flushing a little, but his jaw set, as determined as he had ever been in his life. "I was going to tell you that, yes," he said, his voice quiet. "That's the name I was traveling under -Val Arntzen, and it's not entirely a lie. My Mom's maiden name was Arntzen, and Valery is my middle name. I just..." He leant forward. "I didn't know you, then."

Dean appeared to have his usual disinterested look on his face, but he suddenly pushed up and walked out of the diner. His hand caught at the bar on the door, shoving it open, and it banged open as he walked out.

Dean felt hurt and betrayed all over again, much like when his brother had walked out of the door and told him not to call. What was the problem with him and his lovers? Even Cassie had given him the brush off when he finally told her his story.

He stood there on the sidewalk, staring out into nothing, feeling like his whole life was crumbling down around him.

Sighing, Alex dropped his napkin and rose to his feet. Pointing at their table, he called to the server, "Don't clear away, we'll be right back."

Pushing through the door, he hurried to Dean's side and caught his elbow. "So what's the problem? You've got a shitload of fake IDs in the glove compartment of that car of yours, and... fuck, I don't care if your name isn't even Dean. I just care about you, not your name." He tugged the other man's elbow. "Come on, man. Come eat your breakfast and think about it. Do you trust people right away? You wouldn't, if you were me; I guarantee it."

He tugged again. "Please?" he asked, softly.

Dean glared at Alex then jerked his elbow away. "Yeah I have a shitload of IDs but I didn't lie to you about my name." He turned, placing both hands on the man's chest and shoved him back. "Bastard," he snarled at Alex, but there was hurt in those eyes. "Were you gonna just drag me along, keep that little innocent 'I'm scared' routine of yours going till I served your needs then bolt off. Run back to your little butt fucking FBI boyfriend?"

Dean stepped back, "I'll buy you a bus ticket back to Washington," he snarled, then moved in close again, getting into Alex's face. "And I never lied to you. I saw what you were like in that silo... I couldn't lie to you, and yet you lied to me. How long have you... What have you... are you now? I gave you more than my trust... Alex." He turned and started digging for his keys. "Enjoy your breakfast."

"Drag you along? I didn't drag you anywhere. We're here because you wanted to come fight the spooky critter, aren't we?" Alex gripped Dean, pulling him back. "Don't just walk out of my life, Dean. Not now... Not when I..."

He coughed, let go of Dean's arm and turned away, unwilling to let Dean see the pain on his face. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" he asked, bitterly. "Why do I always fall unerringly for the pigheaded ones?"

Turning back to Dean, Alex's eyes were bright with anger and something more. "It's quite okay, thank you. You don't have to buy me anything; I can manage perfectly fine on my own. Thanks for springing me from the black hole, though. I appreciate it."

Dean spun around, snarling, glaring at his lover. Those words cut right into him. They were words he'd wanted to say to Sam. Words he should have said to him as he stormed out the door and walked out of his life. Dean couldn't help swallowing hard.

Just like himself, Dean saw the doors slamming behind Alex's eyes. Walls snapping into place. He looked down as Alex turned from him. Fall? Did he say fall? His gut tightened even more, and he lifted his head a little to stare at Alex once again.

Dean suddenly grabbed Alex by his collar and threw him against the Impala. "Don't. Don't you say that!" He turned away suddenly, unable to hide the more than hurt look upon his face. "Why," Dean spoke softly. "Just tell me why."

For a moment, Alex's game face was in place, and darkness flickered in the back of his eyes, a precursor to violence, then, finally, he relaxed. He'd been manhandled by experts in the past; he could do this, because... because Dean was worth it. He didn't want to say goodbye to this stormy-faced boy with the sweet mouth and the weird profession.

"It's automatic in my profession," he murmured, a little sneer in his voice. "Self preservation. I didn't know you. You could've been anyone. You could've been sent to take me in. It was better you didn't know my real name." He lowered his lashes. "I was going to tell you. I... didn't expect to fall for you like this."

"Don't," Dean whispered, "Don't fall for me. I'm not worth it. Everyone I ever... loved... has left me." He looked down, "I know about the self preservation. The lying. The need for that because of what I do. Trust isn't something that can just be... tossed around too easily."

Dean averted his gaze, looking everywhere except at Alex. "Alex suits you better," he allowed after a few minutes, looking back to the door of the diner. "I... didn't expect to... fall for you either." A quick deflection. "Let's go back in, finish eating, then we can go do a little shopping."

"Good advice," said Alex, with a lop-sided smile. "Too bad it's about 48 hours too fucking late." Alex looked around them, and seeing nobody on the street he cupped the back of Dean's head and gave him a swift, bruising kiss. "Guess you might say that I'm hooked, so let's go eat the rest of our breakfast and plot how to blast the weirdo out of the sky."

Turning, he headed back to the snack bar, hoping that Dean would follow.

Dean had been turning to look back, a melancholy expression on his face, and he was taken by surprise when he felt Alex's hand upon him, pulling him close and kissing him with those all too sweet and talented lips of his. Dean wanted so much to surge back and return that bruising kiss with one of his own. Instead he had to settle for pursing his lips and then following the man back into the little diner.

He stared after the man he had fallen in love with, and who had apparently fallen for him and told him he was hooked. Dean's heart pounded. It seemed that there was actually someone who wanted him, who was giving him that warmth back, and who hadn't freaked out when he'd found out what Dean did for a living. However, Dean couldn't allow himself to get his hopes up too much. As much as he wanted it to, he knew that this wasn't going to last. His relationships never did, and that thought alone was enough to ground him once again as he headed back into the diner after Alex.

He moved back to his seat, giving a sorry little shrug and a look over at the girl behind the counter before starting to eat once again.

Alex felt oddly relieved, as if by telling Dean how he felt it had somehow liberated him. He wanted to take Dean in his arms and cling to him, because he knew - none better - just how fleeting the good times could be. If he'd been a praying man, he'd have offered up prayers that he and Dean would last as lovers, but he knew better, and the best he could hope for was to hang on to the moment and enjoy happiness while it lasted, because it would be over soon enough.

"I meant what I said, Dean," he murmured as he sat down. There was no more need to hide his feelings, no need to play it cool. He'd outed himself. "I'm in love with you. I'm sorry, if that makes you feel weird or uncomfortable, but there we are."

Dean looked up from his plate and stared at Alex again for a long moment, before looking back down at his food, "Doesn't make me uncomfortable or feel weird." His words were spoken very softly, but the meaning was there. "I feel the same way," he whispered. A leg stretched out, touching Alex under the table to give that assurance. Dean glanced up at him before taking another bite. "Let's finish up, get going. We are gonna have a hard time finding acid."

"Trust me," murmured Alex, winking. "I have a plan about that acid. We need to get a container for it, but getting it isn't going to be that tough."

He spread marmalade on his remaining toast and bit into it, smiling around it at Dean, a promise in his eyes that he couldn't voice. He caught Dean's foot between his two shins and pressed it, the touch his way of offering comfort. "There aren't too many people down at the marina this time of year. I'm sure there are batteries down there we can use, and if not, then we'll just hit the parking lots and borrow some from the cars."

Dean didn't bother looking up as he finished off his food, but his eyes flickered a little to see that smile and the promise behind those eyes. Taking the last drop of his coffee down, Dean pushed his plate away and wiped his mouth. "We'll check down at the marina first, and then make plans once we see what we can get from there."

He tossed some cash down and rose to his feet, motioning Alex to follow with his head, "Shake that ass and let's go, slow poke." He was out the door in a trice, getting into his car and starting it so they could head to the docks.

Part 9: Hole in Your Wisdom, Hole in Your Sky

Well I wish I had a nickel
For every time I fell and blamed somebody else
I'd give a ton of money to the ones I've hurt
And I'd still be sittin' pretty well
I've spent years losin' touch of what's right and what's real
Caught up in these missions of my own
And you're tellin' me you think I've done so damn well
While were sittin' here a thousand miles from home
There's a hole in your wisdom, a hole in your sky
Two holes in your head where the lights supposed to get by
"Lock and Load," by Bob Seger

Arriving shortly, Dean walked around to the trunk and pulled out a empty gas can. "We can put the acid in here for now." The Marina didn't seem to be very busy. What few hardy souls there were seemed to be paying no attention to them as they went about the business of cleaning their decks and mending their nets. Checking to see if there were any observers, Dean started casting about, heading for what seemed to be the least populated area of the marina to start looking for the acid they needed.

"Won't that shit eat through the can?" Alex frowned, but nodded, hoping that Dean knew what he was doing. "Come on. There's the private marina at the east end of the dock, and pretty much all the boats have been winterized. Let's go borrow some acid." He led the way down to the gate and began to pick the lock, having it open within a couple of seconds. "After you," he said, smirking. "I get to watch your ass as we go down the gangplank."

"Pervert!" Dean responded, still looking about cautiously. "It might eat through the can, given time, but there won't be time, I hope. Besides, I wouldn't call what we're doing, "borrowing." It's more like... a treasure hunt." He started down the ramp first, glancing back at Alex and smirking before flipping the back of his jacket up. "This one looks pretty good. Ladies first," He gestured Alex past him, letting him take the lead down, while he glanced about, continuing to make sure no one was around.

Alex wolf-whistled at Dean's antics, then slid past him to ghost down the pontoon towards a sleek gin palace, hiding in the covered boathouse.

He made short work of the locks, and set about finding the engine, pretty soon revealing two nice, big batteries. "Get your can, sweet thing; we're in business," he murmured, busily unscrewing one of them ready. "These things weigh a ton, so it's a good job I have mighty muscles. I hope you're admiring them while I flex."

"Just don't spill any acid on me, or I'll be kicking your sweet little ass," Dean set the can down on the pontoon to make it easy for Alex to fill. One battery followed another as the can was slowly filled. Boat after boat was broken into in their search. Neither man had any qualms about the theft. At the last one, Dean put the lid on the gas can, "That's it for this can. Hope this will be enough. Now we just need to get some super soakers, and we should be ready to get the job done."

Getting off the docks, Dean placed the can into the trunk, and then they headed off to the 'toy' store. There they found some super soakers with tank packs. Dean decided that they should go looking for some polymer to mix up in order to coat the insides, so that the acid would not eat the guns away. Leaving Alex by the car, he went into the hardware store and found what he needed. On his return, he motioned to Alex with his head to get back into the car so they could return to their hotel.

In the bathroom, he mixed up what he needed and started coating the guns and tanks. He'd bought new hoses for the tanks as well and was fashioning them up with Alex's help.

"This is actually quite fun," murmured Alex, holding the toy and wondering whether or not he stood a chance of getting Dean soaking wet right here and now. "If only it were just a little bit warmer, I'd be squirting you good. I bet you'd look hot in a wet T-shirt contest."

Laughing, he flicked a little water at Dean. "I baptize you in the name of the lord," he said, smirking. "How long will these guns last before the acid melts them to crap? I guess we should hold off filling them 'til the very last possible minute, and I was thinking that we ought to get ourselves a boat that's a little more substantial than that dinghy we were in last night. Don't want you disappearing under the waves. I'm not done with you, yet."

"With this stuff I'm putting on it, it should protect the gun long enough for us to use it. I'm even replacing the hoses so..." Dean snapped the super soaker shut. "Kick the tires, we be done." He looked up to Alex. "As for a boat, I saw a good sized one we can... borrow. The moon is still in cycle, so we should get another greeting tonight. This time we both take earplugs." He reached into his pocket, producing a couple of packs with a flourish.

Turning, Dean led the way out of the bathroom to place the stuff they had been working on by the door. "Now we just need to wait till nightfall. Big Bird is probably crapping in his nest right now."

"You don't think that it's worth going over in daylight and looking for the thing while it's resting?" Alex frowned. "And answer me this; why the hell do I feel like I'm in an episode of Scooby Doo?"

He dusted off his hands and settled down on the bed. "So what do you plan on doing now? I think it would still be a good idea to hit the library. There might be clues to the thing's exact location, and even why it's here. What do you say?" Alex stretched out on the bed, posing a little for Dean's benefit. "And there's also the question of some clean underwear. I really think I should get some clean underwear, so the local Walmart or whatever would be good."

Dean gave it a thought then shook his head, "Might be too dangerous to go out right now. We don't know where that thing is nesting, but we do know where it comes out to feed. Our best bet is to catch it while it's feeding. It might be weaker then as well." And it might not, he thought. "I don't want to waste my time searching for it, if I can get it to come to me," he added.

Taking a moment to admire Alex's stretched-out form, Dean nodded, "Okay, let's hit the library, or I can hit it, while you go buy your under-roos. Get the Spiderman ones though." He turned, heading for the door, walking out, as usual without waiting on Alex. It was his typical move although in the past it had always been Sam who'd had to follow him out arguing his points.

Alex pursued him, snickering at the idea of superhero undies. "I was thinking of boxers with lipstick all over - I saw some with kisses. They might be nice." He gave Dean a sweet smile as he caught up with him. "But for you I was thinking of a pair I saw that had a shark rearing up the front. I think they'd suit you, 'cos that's no minnow you're packing."

As they got into the car, he turned to Dean. "I'll come to the library. Two heads are better than one." He didn't want to say that he just wanted to be with Dean, look at him, talk to him, while he had the chance, because he knew that the happier he was, the sooner all this would be ripped away from him.

Dean shook his head, "No thanks I'll pass on the sharks. I have enough underwear. And I know that you just want to justify getting the lipstick ones," said Dean, starting the Impala. "So you can brag at how many people kissed your ass." He smirked at Alex as he backed the car out and set off down the road.

It wasn't long before he was putting it in park, and the pair was walking down the street and into the little library. Dean immediately headed for the computer, sending Alex to find as much written material about sirens as he possibly could, while Dean logged in and started typing.

Alex busied himself, checking the old newspapers from around the time the old man had told them the siren had appeared. He could have worked far faster, but he had to keep on sneaking looks at Dean, taking in the handsome face, the lush lips, the pure sweep of the line from ear to shoulder, and the dusting of freckles over his nose that made him look so innocent and vulnerable.

Dean was surfing the online newspapers and googling for any other sites dealing with sirens. It wasn't as if he didn't believe the Lone Gunmen, however, some things really needed to be seen for himself, and there was always the thought that they might possibly have missed something he would be able to catch with his superior grounding in the supernatural.

When Alex finally turned up a story that seemed relevant, he headed over to Dean as fast as he could. "Looks like there was some sort of grad party that went wrong. A couple of teenagers died out there on that little spit of land, and the hauntings or whatever they are started right after that. What do you think that means?"

As Dean was reading, the computer light reflecting off his eyes and face, he'd felt Alex's eyes upon him. Now and again, Dean would glance from the screen without moving his eyes and catch Alex looking at him. He'd looked away, going back to reading, frowning as he did so. But then all of a sudden Alex was rushing over. Lifting his head, Dean turned to face him. "Grad parties are usually fraternities, aren't they? Those are of Greek origin. But if student drownings are the reason for all this, we will need to find those bones and salt, burn them. As for the siren... well, acid is gonna have to destroy that."

Dean pushed up, "Good work, I'll buy you some cookies at Wal-Mart, toga boy."

"Yeah? I warn you, I've got a real sweet tooth." Alex flipped Dean off as he deposited a book in front of him. "Also, there's a thing here about St. Ignace, which is down the road about forty miles." He laid a dusty old paper in front of his lover. "Check it out. Twenty five years ago there was something very similar happening there. It seems to have died away after about 1985, but reports about the time are pretty close to the same as the events here."

For a moment, Alex stood behind Dean, waiting for him to read the article he'd marked. He couldn't resist running his fingers over the back of Dean's neck, stroking the short hairs there, caressing the peach fuzz at its base. "You want me in a toga? Interesting," he smirked.

Dean gave a little sneeze as the dusty old paper was placed before him. He bent over, frowning as he read it. "I don't get it," he breathed, concentrating on the work and not allowing himself, as much as he wanted to, to pay attention to those insistent fingers working the back of his neck.

He straightened up at last, his face showing how he was thinking as he started out. He didn't even respond to Alex's little comment about being in a toga. "I thought at first it might be a manifestation but... Now I'm not sure." Damn, he wished his father was around, so he could ask him if he heard of such things or even just look in his journal.

"It's a feeding pattern. And almost like a ritual. Every so many years it comes back." He looked to Alex. "The cycle goes back further than we've found, I bet. I have a feeling... This siren has nothing to do with those kids but is more of a ritual. Five kids, each time. Around the full moon. Someone brought it with them when they came here. Someone who believed in elder gods and placating the spirits."

"So are we looking for a settlement of ancient Greeks, or what?" Alex was frowning, fascinated at the way that Dean sifted through the information at hand to cut down to the bone. "You think that it's some sort of blood sacrifice? The kids are taken, and then there's a top up for a few months after first blood?"

The hand on Dean's neck paused for a moment, while Alex thought. "I guess I should go back another twenty five years then, see if I can find something else that matches the MO. Damn! This ghost hunting thing is intriguing." He resumed his gentle caresses after a moment. "We ought to do more investigating."

Dean shook his head, "No, not twenty five," he was thinking again, "Further back. I think we need to see when this place was first haunted. See if the immigrants or settlers brought any of their traditions and lore with them. If we don't find anything, then we work forward from there. What we're looking for has to relate to past events."

Looking up to Alex, Dean frowned. "More intriguing than hunting aliens or whatever you did with your last boyfriend?" he turned and went over to the desk to ask the guy behind it for records as far back as they could go.

"Jealous!" muttered Alex under his breath as he suddenly realized why Dean was so interested in Mulder. "Baby, you're jealous; how about that?" He made his way over to the microfiche that the librarian was indicating. The files he brought were covered in dust and had obviously not been accessed for a long, long time. Alex gave Dean a rueful smile and a shrug as the two of them sat down to start working through them.

"FBI work is pretty darned boring most of the time. Working with Mulder was interesting in the same sort of way that a Chinese curse is interesting. I never knew from one moment to the next when the asshole would take off without me, leaving me in some out of the way place. He was jealous of everything, the bastard. Half the time, the only way I could guarantee that he wouldn't dump my ass was to take the car keys."

"What kind of dumb fuck would do that? I thought you were supposed to be his partner... in other ways too. Jeeze, what a jerk." Dean started patting down his pockets. Pulling out his keys to show Alex, he dangled them in front of him, "Still have them," he said, smirking.

Dean's eyes followed Alex as the man moved to the big hooded device and shook his head, "I didn't say I was jealous," He murmured, then moved after Alex and sat down, pulling the chair close to his new partner so they could both see. He leaned in, reaching to flip through the archives. Alex smacked his hand, trying to get him to slow down, "Control freak," Dean mumbled, pulling his hand away and then leaned back in, nearly taking up all the room. Reaching over, he grabbed Alex's hand to stop him paging through. "Whoa, look at this."

Dean pointed to an old picture of the harbor, with an article about the statue of a siren that they were dedicating and placing on the first harbor wall. "How much do you want to bet that was made in Greece? Which means we aren't just dealing with a simple curse or legend..." He looked at Alex, eyes shining with excitement.

"You think that a family of sirens moved over here with the first settlers?" asked Alex, trying to get a handle on this new piece of evidence. "How long does a siren live, anyway? And are they actually killable or do they have the ability to... I dunno, trans locate, or leap through time, or something?"

He grabbed hold of Dean's hand suddenly, turning to face him, so close that they would only need to move in a fraction of an inch for their lips to meet. "You think I'm a control freak, huh?" he said, laughing softly. "Well, it's true; I am, but I suspect that you are too, and I exact penalties from control freaks. Got to teach you to back off one way or another."

Looking around to make sure the librarian wasn't watching, he seized his chance and darted in to kiss Dean's mouth. "There," he murmured, voice husky. "Let that be a lesson to you."

Dean was about to speak when Alex did his very excellent job of cutting him off. The kiss was short but, it told plenty. He pushed Alex back playfully. "You might have to teach me a few more times," he said. He shook his head as he tried to shift the conversation back to what to him was more important at that particular moment. "Not a family. See it says in mythology that the sirens lost some contest, the American Idol of the time or whatever. By now they should be dead. However, if you go way back, in some cultures the Sirens were also protectors, and they had different forms."

"So you think that they are somehow protecting something?" Alex looked baffled. "What sort of things do they protect? It's not as if there's likely to be buried treasure or anything out there on that little island." He spread his hands in a gesture of puzzlement. "Want me to start looking for info on sirens, or do you have that covered already?"

Dean sat back and sighed, "Well if you would have let me finish, I was going to say that, back then, sirens' statues were placed in the harbors. If a sailor was lost, coming in when there was a thick fog, the siren was suppose to draw him in, or so it was believed. However they didn't realize that believing in this would actually make it true. Later, some group or other started pagan rituals, such as sacrifices to placate the siren and encourage her to work for them. It started innocently enough, but like often happens, things went bad."

Dean waited for Alex to take in what he'd said. "Wanna bet that statue is still out there? Long forgotten."

"So why did the siren turn from helping sailors find their way home to sinking their boats? I'm confused." Things were starting to make a little sense to Alex, but he was still somewhat baffled by the concept of there being actual sirens. He'd seen one with his own eyes, but even so, it was hard to accept. Extreme possibilities, Alex, he reminded himself. If there can be little green men, there can be sirens.

"You have no difficulty getting your head around this, do you?" he asked Dean, his voice awed. "You're amazing."

Dean sighed softly, "If you'd seen what I have since about the age of four, you wouldn't have a problem either." He muttered the words as if he might have some slight regret. "The sirens were originally playmates. Failure to stop a kidnapping created their punishment. In some ancient times, long after many of these legends were forgotten, sailors believed sirens were helpful. When bad weather happened on a frequent basis, you have to remember they didn't have the Weather Channel back then, and I guess that they figured out that some kind of sacrifice would appease the mystical beings, stop the bad weather and make things better."

"So what you're saying is that the sirens have gotten used to sacrifice, and now they're taking their own?" Alex shook his head. "That makes a weird kind of sense, I guess. So do you have a plan of action, other than the acid? Do we need to find and take down that statue?"

Dean gave a little shrug, "Sometimes, if a group of people believe in something hard enough, it sort of comes to life. My plan of action is easy. Some spirits tie themselves to an object of the physical realm - things like mirrors, beds and so forth. If we find the statue, break it; that might end it. Then we won't have to use the acid. But if she shows up before we find the statue, it'll be a good backup."

Dean looked about, "And it might be best if we do it in daylight, now that I think about it. Safer."

Nodding, Alex rose to his feet. "Yeah, I guess that we're more likely to find it, if it isn't dark, although it'll be a bit tougher to steal a boat in broad daylight. How much would it cost to rent one, anyway?"

Now that he had something concrete to work with, Alex was excited. The way Dean explained things, they sounded very plausible, and the solution seemed utterly prosaic despite the weird nature of the problem. "Okay, sensei, let's go bag ourselves a siren." He paused, thinking. "But, if there's a statue here that doesn't explain why St. Ignace had something like this happen, or why it stopped, unless there are a shitload of statues.. Do you suppose that it's the same siren servicing both, or does each statue have its own?"

Dean reached for one of the newspapers in the stack Alex had given him and pulled it out. He'd set it aside without really knowing why, but as he showed it to Alex, everything fell into place for him. "Storm blew through, it appears, and the shores were hit pretty bad. Boats pushed around. How much you want to bet that statue, if there was one, fell into the water. Or maybe this thing was here, went there as a part of its territory. Like birds... since it is part bird. Or perhaps St. Ignace donated the statue to this place. Just haven't found the article, but I know this harbor was renovated recently." Dean rose to his feet as he was speaking.

"We need to get out there while there still is light." He started heading out.

Part 10: Scars and Stitches

Under the monsters claws and in between his teeth
Was the shadow and a silhouette of what I'd thought I'd be?
I don't mind falling down and scraping up my knees
Scars and Stitches always fade and only strengthen me
"Scars and Stitches," by Guster

Quickly thanking the librarian, Alex hustled after Dean, catching up with him as he headed for the Impala. It didn't take them long to get down to the docks once more, and once Dean had parked they set about finding a boat.

"We can go back into the private marina, if you like. There were a couple of dinghys there, and we could maybe 'borrow' one long enough to get out to the island." Alex had his lock picking tools in his hand as he spoke, and he looked eager to get going. "We should take the squirt guns with us, just in case, don't you think?"

Dean was already walking around to the back of the Impala, lifting the trunk and pulling the items out. He flipped open the secret compartment that contained his array of weapons, propping it up with one of the guns, and started digging around, finally pulling out first one tazer, then another. He handed one over to Alex, "Here, careful with that, I maxed up the volts in it." He took the second and placed it at his back.

Closing the trunk, Dean studied Alex, looking for any sign of weakness. The man seemed eager enough, even for Dean's exacting standards. "How about a boat with a motor?" he said, starting down to the dock, checking out the array of vessels and finally spotting one that looked likely. He glanced about then hopped over the side into it, putting his assorted weaponry down in the bottom, before dropping down to start the motor.

"This beats rowing!" Alex settled into the bows of the little boat, nodding enthusiastically as Dean pulled it away from the jetty. The air was calm, there were only tiny ripples disturbing the face of the water, and although it was chilly, the sun was bright, causing the sea to sparkle. Dean headed the boat for the island, and opened the throttle, sending it planing across the wavelets as they headed towards their date with the supernatural.

"Makes for quick getaways too," Dean added as he pointed the boat in the direction of the outcrop of rocks. The water wasn't too choppy, and the sun was bright, leaving their wake sparkling like opals as they cut across the harbor. The beauty of the afternoon shimmered around them, but the scenery was lost on Dean; he was much more interested in that island ahead of them.

It took only a short while, before they ran up onto the rocky beach that marked the boundary of the little island. Even as they pulled up against the shore, and Alex hopped out to tie the boat off, Dean was looking about. Alex took the rope, tying it fast to a large rock that looked as though it wouldn't move without the application of dynamite. "Okay. Let's go search for statues," he said, picking up his squirt gun and looking around.

Dean put his pack on, gun at the ready, the tazer at his back just in case. He climbed the rocks, swiftly getting to more solid land and saw a small, old structure that was hidden from the main shore by a sudden dip in the ground. He glanced over at Alex before moving closer. The marble fascia was filled with old Greek designs and inscriptions a frieze of charioteers frozen in their perpetual journey around the building bordered by the familiar Greek key design. Despite his rapidly growing respect for Alex, Dean couldn't help wishing that Sam was with him in order to read the Greek lettering for them. He looked about, taking in the uneven terrain, the rubble that appeared to be from the ruins; it looked as if the dilapidated building might have been modeled after a small temple.

"You go that way; I'll check this way," said Dean, starting to move away. "Scream like a little girl if you run into anything." He smirked back at Alex as he moved ahead.

"I think you're projecting there, buddy," grinned Alex. "When I scream, I scream like a really big girl!" He nodded, gun in hand, and began to pick his way through the uneven terrain around the building. Half in ruins, it seemed to be some kind of monument, and for a moment, Alex thought it might be a tomb although the inscriptions on the marble were all in Greek, and he had no clue what they might say.

He was creeping cautiously around the back, expecting to see Dean coming in the opposite direction any moment, when he caught a whiff of something unpleasant. "Dean?" he called. "Are you anywhere near? Something around this area stinks."

Dean prowled about, stepping around and over rubble, and he paused as something drew his eyes. He wandered over, crouching down to get a closer look. Reaching for a stick, he was in the act of poking at the dark spot on one of the white fragments of marble, when he heard Alex call out. Dean found himself shooting up like a rocket, and a brief panic washed over him, before he raced around the building to find his lover.

"What'd ya find?" he asked, breathlessly.

"Can't see a damned thing out of the ordinary, but there's a hell of a stink around back here. Smells like something died." Alex was casting around, trying to locate the source of the smell. "Did you find anything? I didn't go inside the building yet; it doesn't look too safe, and I was thinking that we might just want to make sure it isn't going to fall on us, before we do anything too final."

Dean came up beside Alex, wrinkling his nose, "Yeah, looked like blood. Seemed to be pieces of clothing, too." He started examining the building then kicked at one of the stones that littered the ground around it. Alex had begun to pull at the thick coat of ivy that clung so tenaciously to the building, and he gave a pleased grunt as he disclosed a doorway, partially concealed by trailing vegetation. Reaching into his jacket, Dean smirked and produced a small Mag flashlight. With a twist it was brought to life. "I would say ladies first, but I think I'll take the lead today." He flashed a brilliant smile at Alex and with a duck of his head and a flamboyant flourish Dean was the first to enter the fetid darkness.

He carried the flashlight under the muzzle of the acid-filled squirt gun. If anything was to charge, it would be simple to ensure that he hit whatever it was with the acid first. Dean wasn't taking any chances. "Keep an eye behind us in case that thing does in fact hunt during the day." All the evidence pointed to the fact that it usually came out at night, but he had survived this long by taking every precaution he could. Nodding, Alex followed him in cautiously, backing along the short passageway after his lover.

Something caught his foot as he was slinking into the inner chamber, and Alex looked down, frowning, only to find that the object that had almost tripped him was a bone. Dean arched an eyebrow at him and pursed his lips as he examined the offending item. "You know, I think we've found its lair," he announced.

"I don't see any sirens anywhere." Alex was casting around, looking for any sign of movement. The light from Dean's flashlight, and the faint traces of daylight that managed to fight their way through the veil of ivy that surrounded the entrance were enough to illuminate the ground upon which they walked. As the two of them began to take in their surroundings, it became apparent that all around them glimmered the whiteness of bone, in places so thick that one could not walk between them.

"Jesus, look at this. The bones are..." Alex bent to pick up a skull. "They're human. That's horrible." He turned to Dean. "Your idea about a sacrifice seems to be right on the money."

Dean was busy examining an arm bone, noting that there were teeth marks on it. With a frown, he shot a look at Alex, "Seen enough of this kind of evidence to know. It's ritualistic. This kind of thing used to be very common in older times." He stood up. "Werewolves, vampires, certain other breeds of paranormal creature are like this." He tossed the bone aside when he thought he heard a sound somewhere close by. "Did I just hear something moving?".

The two of them turned around slowly, listening for any sound that might indicate they were being stalked. Dean shot a glance at Alex, checking that his companion was still coping, then back to the entrance behind him as it started to get dark.

The daylight was fading rapidly, and Alex could hear scratching coming from above. He tapped Dean's arm, pointing upwards and indicated that he should shine the flashlight in that direction. He covered Dean with the gun he'd been given, watching the doorway as Dean poked the light up at the broken ceiling.

He had been a little grossed out at the evidence that something was eating humans, and a vision of the creature from the previous night, blood encrusting its features, biting into Dean, was making him feel a little nauseous. The sounds – if indeed there had been any - had ceased, and Alex squinted, trying to spot any movement in the gathering gloom.

When the scream sounded, it was so loud that Alex was really grateful for the earplugs he'd been given.

Dean shone his light upward, not sure what he would find, but it did sound as if something was lurking up there. As the sound struck his ear, his instincts told him that whatever it was had to be walking on the crumbling roof above, and it was now apparently heading inside to find them. Dean brought his own gun up, "Well, we got its attention," he murmured softly and started towards the place where he expected the creature to appear, a very determined look upon his face.

He knew they had to get out of the temple, if at all possible. It wasn't good being trapped inside, not with this thing. The creature would most definitely have the advantage if it cut them off from their escape route. Dean crouched down, grabbing a rock and tossing it at the shadowy form that was coming down through the narrow entrance, trying to get it to move away from the exit. "Com'on, bitch, back up."

Their surroundings were very cramped, and Alex was afraid that he'd splash Dean with the acid, if he fired his squirt gun. He grabbed hold of the taser Dean had given him and crouched, waiting for his chance. The creature, now that he saw her, was bigger than he'd thought from their encounter the night before - she was easily as big as they were, and her wingspan was enough that she couldn't fully open her wings without hitting the walls. She was showing no sign of wanting to move out of the doorway which was their only means of getting out of the building.

"Shit!" Alex stepped forward, firing the taser at her. The dart hit her just below the breast bone, and for a moment she seemed to shudder as the jolt hit her. Then she screamed again, and wrenched at the cable, pulling the weapon from his hands.

"Well, that was a bad idea," growled Alex. "Now what?"

Dean had taken advantage of Alex's move. He wasn't as cautious as Alex, having dealt with supernatural beings before, and he knew that with some beasties there was no alternative but to take them head on. There could be no backing down; his father had taught him that. Dean raised his gun, and as she shrieked, Dean pumped his gun and pulled the trigger. These super soakers had amazing range, he'd learned that from his many fights with his brother Sam as a kid.

The acid shot forth, hitting the creature in the chest, and instantly the acid reacted with flesh, eating it away and releasing a pungent smoke that threatened to choke them. Dean didn't let up for even a moment; he kept firing as the creature screamed again, snapping at them and writhing in pain. He went for the feet, or talons, whatever the hell they were. He had to get this thing to back up so he showered her up and down, hitting what was available, going for the wings as she tried to spread them to use as a possible weapon.

Alex had recovered from his shock now, and he was quick to assist Dean, pumping up his own gun and starting to spray the creature in tandem with his lover.

"The fucking thing just isn't going to give up, is it?" he mumbled, backing up to avoid a wing that was dripping acid as the creature flailed, blinded now. "She's going to get us, if we're not careful, and she won't even know that she succeeded."

He stooped quickly, grabbing a skull and throwing it hard at the thrashing creature. The bones ricocheted off her head and bounced to the floor behind her with a hollow thud, and she turned, confused by the sudden sound.

Dean took the opportunity offered by her turn, and charged at her, slamming the full weight of his body into her, shoving her out of the entrance and sending him rolling to the side. He flailed momentarily, kicking into dirt and rock to get him back up on his feet. "Alex, get her in the face!" he shouted from behind her as he aimed his gun for the back of her head. This had to be the weak point. The acid was eating her away, and Dean had a crazy moment when he half wished they'd set up a bucket of that stuff over the entrance to dump on her.

Alex's gun was running out, and the pressure was dropping, but he stepped forward out of the ruins, aiming the liquid at her face. The creature screamed again, pain and fury in its voice, and then fell abruptly silent as she ingested a mouthful of acid. Slowly, she crumpled to the ground, lying on the rocky ground, smoke coming from her rapidly disintegrating body.

"Jesus!" said Alex, fervently. "That was ugly. What do we do with her now?"

Dean was staring past Alex and looking upwards, an unreadable expression on his face. The moon had risen in the now twilit sky, and it was suddenly was eclipsed by the wing span of another siren, this one slightly larger than the one he and Alex had just dispatched.

"Alex, move slowly over towards me and don't look back," murmured Dean softly, speaking as he slowly rose to his feet. Sister, mate, or whatever this thing was to its dead companion, it wasn't gonna like what they'd done, or the fact that its friend was dead at their hands.

Dean pumped up his gun, knowing he was running low of acid as well. "Find a big stick or something we can use as a weapon. I'll keep that thing busy. I still have my tazer." He informed Alex.

They'd brought the can that contained the acid with them, and Alex knew that there was a little left in it. He obeyed Dean, swiftly crossing to him. A look around revealed a convenient bush from which he cut a branch, using his pocket knife to remove the leaves. Handing that to Dean, he knelt and began to recharge his squirt gun.

The newcomer was circling overhead, and Dean stood at bay. Alex watched, wondering if they were both going to end up as food for this infuriated monster. The gun was now recharged, and Alex handed it to Dean, taking the nearly empty one in exchange, just as the thing above them decided to swoop down and attack.

Dean took the stick from Alex, shot him a swift, encouraging glance before focusing his attention back on the creature circling overhead. As Alex raced to fill the gun, Dean turned in place, watching it. He knew that even more than ever he would have to make things count from now on. Crouching a little, he ducked as the beast dove down at them, seeming to test the distance before screeching and soaring back up into the air.

As he got the gun back, Dean's arm pumped it to life. He found himself falling back as he aimed, but he didn't pull the trigger yet. He heard Alex cry out as claws managed to make contact. Dean whirled around, finally dragging out his tazer as the beast snarled, nearly on top of the other man. Just as it hopped back, turning to face him. Dean took aim and fired.

The taser cord flew out, pins sinking into feather and flesh at the neck, and the jolt from it - kicked up enough to burn flesh - sparked through the creature's body. As it twitched in horrible pain, Dean added to it by pumping the rest of the contents in his gun right at its face. Flesh was eaten away, smoke filled the air. The horrible cries echoed all around them until there was a sudden silence as it plummeted from the sky like a stone.

Dean stood there for a moment, breathing hard before turning to Alex. Shit! He was a mess. He lay on the ground, unconscious; his clothing was torn along with the flesh beneath it. Blood was seeping out to stain his garments, looking black in the fading light. Dean rushed over. "Alex?" He reached down, grabbing him, lifting him up as he tossed his weapons aside. Alex was still breathing, and Dean gave a sigh of relief. "C'mon, need to get you to a hospital," He pulled Alex to his feet, half dragging him to the boat. Dean only gave a single glance back to the site of their pitched battle before loading them up to get them back to shore as fast as he could.

Part 11: The Man With The Lonely Eyes

I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my life for you
So give a little bit
Give a little bit of your time to me
See the man with the lonely eyes
Take his hand, you'll be surprised
"Give A Little Bit," bySupertramp

The trip back to the mainland had been hell for Alex. The claws of the creature had torn an artery, and only Dean's knowledge of first-aid had stopped him from bleeding out. He'd been taken into surgery, and he was now lying in a hospital bed feeling very wobbly as he came around from the anesthetic. As he opened his eyes and looked around himself at his surroundings, a nurse came in to remove the drip through which he'd been given a transfusion of blood.

"Dean?" He couldn't at first see his new lover, and he was wondering if he'd proved to be too much trouble at last, aware of just how many problems he'd caused by getting pinned by the second siren. When he spied Dean at last, sitting uneasily in an armchair in the corner of the room, he felt a sudden unaccountable relief flood through him. "Oh, man, Dean, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let her get me down like that. I feel stupid."

Dean had been watching over Alex since he'd entered the hospital room. It was a comfortable relief to sit there waiting for his lover to come around after pacing the halls while the man was in surgery, not knowing what his fate would be. People passed him by, and he'd asked about Alex, but no one would answer. Finally a doctor had come to him and given him an update on his 'uncle'. Alex was gonna pull through. He might have to stay a few days, but at least he was going to live.

Once the nurse had made her exit, Dean got up, casually strolling over at the sound of his name. He didn't want to seem too eager to see the other man. "It happens; don't worry about it. I took care of you like I promised, right?" He reached down, taking Alex's hand in his. "I uh, told the police a bunch of bikers, partying on the rock, jumped us. They seemed to buy it. So, if anyone asks, you tell that story."

There was a pause; Dean was looking down at their hands, "And don't do that again." The words were mumbled out, concern, possibly love lacing them as he shifted his gaze back to Alex's green eyes.

"Believe me, next time I meet up with a bunch of pissed-off sirens, I intend to hide behind you 'til they've all gone away." Alex gave Dean a big smile, his pale face lighting up as he felt Dean's fingers curling around his. "That nurse said I have to stay in here, because they're giving me all this antibiotic crap. They always want you for days and days. Personally I believe that they experiment on you 'til you die, and then bury the body somewhere quietly. When tomorrow morning comes around I'm out of here, guaranteed, whatever they say. I hate hospitals." He lowered his lashes, and a gleam of amusement flickered over his face. "And that dumb critter ripped up your clothes, so I'll be naked. I never did get to Walmart!"

Dean pulled his hand away, head twisting to look back at the door, "Well, hey, not all bad. At least some of the nurses here are hot. Maybe you'll get lucky and get a sponge bath." He smirked back at Alex, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I'll go out and get you some clothes, don't worry. Don't need you arrested for streaking."

Looking down at the tray of food they'd left for Alex, Dean made a face. "I'll also bring you some real food. How do they expect you to eat this crap?" He reached over lifting up the fork to poke at the mush in the tray. "I'll sneak you in a beer." He turned, sitting, leaning against the bed. "I was thinking, once you are out of here... if you still want to hang out a while, we can head west and south. I hear the weather is better there." He gave Alex a quizzical look. Inside he wasn't admitting to either himself or to Alex that he didn't want the other man to leave. Plus he had no intention of going anywhere near Washington D.C. or that ex Alex mentioned.

"Hang out?" Alex widened his eyes. The possibility that Dean might not want to be with him really hadn't occurred to him 'til now. "Of course I want to hang out. I almost never get to fight sirens with battery acid when I'm on my own." He leaned forward, wincing as his wounds twinged and pushed the tray away that contained his 'lunch.' "I'd love a ham sandwich, or maybe some of that curry from the other night."

He wanted to touch Dean, to grab his hand again and pull it to his lips, and to tell the other man things he'd never said to anyone before, not even Mulder. Make that 'especially not to Mulder,' he thought. "Yeah," he said out loud. "I want to hang out, Dean. I want to be with you."

Dean nodded, "Ham sandwich, yes. I think that's probably safer than the rest of the curry we had the other night." He pushed away, pausing to face his lover, "You think you can fend off the nurses while I'm gone? I mean, it might be a while before I get back." He turned again and started heading toward the door, stopping once to look back. He wanted to tell Alex more than he just had, but there was a fear in him, that if he did, things would go awry as they so often had for him in the past, and these last few days would merely be a false memory. Dean didn't want that. He'd missed having a companion around, someone else to talk to on those long car rides, to bounce ideas off and more.

"I promise, I'll be back," he said, giving Alex his usual smile along with a saucy wink.

"I dunno," murmured Alex, a sleepy smile on his face. "There's a big redhead that looks as if she could overpower me in my present state of health." He indicated the doorway, where, sure enough, a very buxom nurse was marking off items on a clipboard within easy view. "Course, I wouldn't want to fight her off. She looks as if she's good for what ails me."

He gave Dean a cheeky grin before turning serious. "Listen, love, hurry up and bring me some clothes so I can get out of here, will you? I don't ever feel safe in hospitals."

Dean had to check out the pretty redhead, giving a little sigh, then he smirked a little before pulling the door open. The word, love made him stop dead. Dean looked back to Alex, his eyes traveling over him before giving a nod, "I'll hurry."

He door closed behind him and moved over to the nurse, speaking with her and asking her to keep an eye on his companion. With a bit of flirting that caused a pretty blush to warm her cheek, Dean was satisfied she would do so, before he headed out.

Alex watched him go, and felt a fluttering in his belly that he hadn't felt for years. Dean was beautiful, funny, vicious, feral and tender, and Alex was totally smitten by the young man. He wanted to rip the tubes out of his arm and follow his lover back to the big old car that was no doubt out in the parking lot, waiting for him, but that was out of the question with no clothing to put on.

Dean made his first stop the local Wal-Mart. There he picked up a couple of pairs of jeans for himself and for Alex, a few shirts, a jacket and underwear then grabbed shoes as well. The beauty of that particular store was that it had a grocery store attached to it. He picked up a few things he could carry around, then stopped at the restaurant to get the ham sandwich his lover had requested, pausing to pick up a few other things he thought Alex might like.

Dropping them into the car, Dean headed back to the hospital. On the way there, he thought of Alex, and all that they had been through, from finding him in that silo to bringing him here, telling him things he normally wouldn't tell any one right away about his family and his occupation. It was a fact that even with Cassie, he'd waited a couple of weeks before spilling his guts to her so disastrously. As he pulled into the parking lot, he sat in his car, reflecting for a moment. He had fallen hard for the man, and that was something he hadn't thought he would ever do. The only people he'd ever cared for this way were his father, and most of all, his brother, Sam. But there was just something about Alex. It was as if Alex needed him to keep him away from a path of self destruction.

He got out of the Impala at last, heading inside with the stash of clothing, food and beer. It had only been a couple of hours, and the nurse he'd talked to earlier was still there. She flashed him a charming smile, "Your uncle is quite the handful," she murmured, laughing a bit.

"Runs in the family," Dean smiled, heading down the hall to Alex's room. He stood at the door for a moment, peering through it, seeing Alex looking nearly helpless upon the bed. Pushing against the door at last, he walked in. "Miss me much?" he asked, crossing the distance to the bed where his lover lay. He set the bag down, leaned over and kissed him, a sweet and sensual caress. Turning to the bag, Dean pulled out the beer and set it down on the tray, moving it so that Alex could reach it. "Here you go. That's to help with the pain. And for the hunger..." he pulled out the sandwich, a bag of chips and some fruit. "Gotta keep your strength up."

Alex had been dozing, knocked out by the morphine he'd been given for the pain, and when he saw Dean, he smiled fuzzily, his whole face lighting up. "I thought I dreamed you, Dean," he said, his voice husky from sleep. "I thought that you were just a fantastic wet dream. God, I'm so glad you're real."

The kiss was long and slow and gentle, and Alex couldn't help himself. He moaned softly, his hand coming up to thread through Dean's short hair. "You're the most fantastic sight for sore eyes."

The beer was opened, and the ham sandwich he'd been craving was soon a delicious memory as Alex fell on the food. "I wish I could show you just how grateful I am," he murmured, crunching on a handful of potato chips. "Shut the door and climb up here. I'll give you something to remember!" He sipped his beer and lay back against the pillows, grinning. "You know, meeting you is the best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life."

Dean watched as Alex ate, smiling a bit as his lover complimented him. Dean shook his head with a smile, going over to close the door. "I'm sure you will find a way." He turned the lights off, leaving only the one over Alex's head still on. "Push over, sexy." He took off his jacket, climbing up onto the bed.

Dean lay down beside Alex, pulling the man close. "Tomorrow, we'll be heading south, if they say you can go." He rubbed his hand up and down Alex's arm. He was happy like this. They didn't need to have sex, and that thought on its own was new and somehow wonderful to him.

Alex had moved to one side and turned in place, and now he laid his head against Dean's shoulder. "You know, I feel damned stupid, getting caught by that creature, and even sillier now, but I have to say this and hope you won't laugh." He rubbed his cheek against Dean's shoulder and took a deep breath. "I love you. I didn't want to. I didn't want to love anyone, ever again, but you've got to me." He stole his arm across Dean's chest and cuddled a little tighter against him. "Go on," he murmured. "Laugh. I can take it."

Dean snuggled Alex closer, resting his chin upon the top of Alex's head. He knew that Alex wasn't stupid, just caught off guard. However Dean still froze for a moment at hearing those words. He closed his eyes, glad in a way that Alex couldn't see his face, couldn't see just how much he liked hearing those words, how much it showed in his eyes. "Now what are they pumping into you? Must be some really good drugs to make you say that."

He kissed the top of Alex's head. "I love you too," Dean whispered softly.

"You think that's what it is?" Alex was about to crack a joke to take some of the tension away from the atmosphere, and almost missed Dean's quietly spoken admission. "Uh... Say that again." He lifted his chin, sought Dean's mouth with his own and kissed him, stealing his tongue in past the full lips to explore every corner, taste every surface. Pulling away at last, he gave a little shiver. "I could use hearing you say that again, if you would. I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing it."

If he knew what I really was, how many awful things I've done, he would run screaming, thought Alex. "I haven't always been the perfect gentleman," he said, at last. "But I'll try a little harder now. I love you, Dean."

Dean gave a chuckle, then kissed Alex just as deeply, doing his own exploring. The flavor of Alex was something Dean didn't want to lose. Slowly pulling back, he stroked a hand down Alex's arm, curling his fingers around Alex's. "No one is ever perfect, Alex. I'm not either." He shifted a tiny bit. "I love you, Alexander." With a nuzzle, he tipped Alex's head back up and kissed him once again. This time the caress was a little more dirty, sexy, wet, and he explored every part 'til both of them needed breath.

Pulling back a little, Dean smiled. "Love ya," he whispered again into Alex's ear before biting his lobe. "Promise, you'll come with me? I'll teach you everything I know. Take good care of you."

"Try and stop me," murmured Alex, his lips against Dean's chin. "And it's actually Alexei. My full name is Alexei Valery Krycek." He chuckled. "See, I have no secrets from you." For a moment he relaxed, allowing Dean to nibble at his ear, and then he gave a little short laugh. "Well, none that you need to worry about. I may be keeping things from you that aren't important, but if you ask me about anything, I'll tell you. I want you to know all about me."

Alex lay quietly for a moment, then smiled up at Dean. "Ask me anything you want to know. I'll tell you the truth as I know it."

Dean gave a chuckle, "Alexei... I like that much better." He tightened his fingers around Alex's while nibbling upon his neck. He started running through questions. Alex had told him about his sister. His parents being dead. Working with the FBI. Did he really want to know everything? Secrets were something his family had. Some things just had to be kept to one's self.

Dean pulled their hands up together, kissing the back of Alex's hand, "Do you remember your parents? What they were like?"

"I don't remember much about my father, except that he had a big black moustache. He used to be away for half the year. My mom was really pretty, and she had hair that came down to her waist. I used to think that she looked like a movie star when she was dressed up to go to work. She had the prettiest green eyes, too." Alex closed his eyes, picturing the past. "I used to go and sit and play with her combs when I was little. I used to think that I'd let my hair grow, so I would be as pretty as she was."

Dean looked down, "I used to think I took after my dad. Favored him in a way. But I look more like my mom. My dad used to say I had her eyes, her smile, other things too. He and Sam are more alike. Dark hair, same eyes, and the same damn stubborn streak. They argued like anything. I used to have to break them up, before the fists started to fly. But it was because Sam wanted to do his own thing, and Dad, he didn't like it. He wanted Sammy to take up his mission like I did. The good little soldier."

There was something riding the end of that last statement, hurt, loneliness, possibly more. Dean started kissing along Alex's neck, hoping to change the topic and divert Alex's attention, "Are there really little green men running around, or is it just some fabrication of the military or our government?"

"Actually, they're grey, and yeah, there are. Some of them are shape-shifters, too, so you never know who to trust, once you get involved." Alex shuddered, then yawned sleepily. He was tired, but not tired enough that he hadn't noticed the bitterness that had crept into Dean's voice. He felt sad for his lover, wanting to make him feel better somehow.

"I don't even want to think about the little bastards. I'm never going back to the Consortium. I'm gonna go with you and beat up weird critters and hang out. I don't remember when I ever wanted anything more than I want to be with you at the moment, and if that's too much information, I'm not sorry. It's the truth." The sincerity in Alex's face and in his voice were unmistakable. "I never ever felt this way before."

Dean was still nibbling upon Alex's chest and neck while he spoke of little green... er... gray men. It didn't surprise him the way it would most, but then most did not deal with the things Dean and his family did. Shapeshifters, Topas, ghosts, poltergeists and more had all been banished at one time or another by his family.

Lifting his head, he gazed down at Alex, eyes taking in the other man's features. Dean smiled at him. "You sure you are ready for this? Riding around the country, maybe even meeting my dad." Now there was something! His father had a way of rubbing people up the wrong way. He was authoritative and determined. "I have to warn you, my dad can be... well he's an ex-marine. But he's damn good - a genius at what he does. I've learned a lot from him. You should see his journal. The man is amazing. Stubborn but amazing."

Dean leaned in, kissing Alex, something tender and luscious. "And do me a favor, if you wouldn't mind. Cut back on the chick-flick moments," he gave a chuckle. "After a while," Dean gave a sigh. "They are gonna kick me out of here." He caressed Alex, stopping as he felt the ring around his finger before moving on.

Alex was playing with Dean's hair, stroking through it, twirling the short strands around his fingers as he lay contentedly in his lover's arms. "Oh, man, can't I tell them that you're necessary for my speedy recovery?" he growled, voice scratchy as he considered a long night in hospital without Dean. "Seems really harsh. I've only just found you, and now I have to give you up. Man, that's total suckage." Closing his eyes, he snuggled closer into the embrace.

He could feel Dean's lips nibbling along his fingers, and for some reason that struck him as being the sexiest thing that Dean had done yet. When the soft lips began to explore the ring he wore on his right hand, he smiled. "That was my dad's," he murmured. "It's the only thing I've got left of his."

Dean tasted the metal before moving up that finger and sucking upon the pad. As his lips pulled off, he examined the ring then turned his head to Alex. "My dad gave me this," he lifted up his own talisman/amulet. "And you know what... they may kick me out tonight but I'll be here, banging on the doors first thing in the morning. I'll bring you coffee and some sweet cakes for breakfast. Yummy." Dean leaned in and kissed him again. "But till then," Dean started sucking on Alex's finger again, liking how that ring tasted when it touched his lips. He glanced about, but there was no apparent surveillance on them, and so he started moving lower. "Let's see if we can freak the nurses out, huh?"

"I bet you're really good at that nurse-freaking thing," laughed Alex, moving a little as his cock began to swell with the anticipation that Dean's words instilled in him. "But I bet you're equally good at soothing them afterwards." He ran his hands down over Dean's back to pull him closer.

"You're a wet dream, did you know that? I can't believe I've been lucky enough to find you."

Dean grinned up at Alex, pushing the man's skimpy gown up so he could run his hand over that hardened flesh. He looked up, a grin on his face. "Now don't let your heart monitor go to crazy." Smirking, he began kissing and licking at that hard flesh before him. His hand moved over Alex, pulling at his dick, while his tongue played at the crown and his breath added heat to his caresses.

His mouth was soon traveling up and down Alex's dick, giving it little nips and then soothing it with licks, before he took the crown into his hot mouth, tongue playing over the slit. Gradually, Dean worked his mouth down more and more over Alex, taking him little by little into his mouth as he sucked him in deep, worked him back up then down once again. Dean was enjoying how Alex was reacting as his technique became smoother and more focused.

The whole idea of getting it on right there in his hospital bed blew Alex's mind. He couldn't believe what Dean was doing, and he couldn't believe his own luck in finding someone like him. The slow, steady caresses on his cock were making him crazy, and he thought that he would come apart any minute under the soft, sweet silk that was Dean's mouth.

His hands stole down, one to press against Dean's head, and one to press against his cheek, to feel the push and release as his cock invaded that sultry mouth. "Do you know how much I want to have you fuck me right now? Guess that wouldn't be a good idea, but goddamn! I'm gonna take you tomorrow and make you beg me for mercy."

He spread his legs, began to buck into Dean's mouth, knowing that he wouldn't take long to come with the excitement of the semi-public environment and Dean's skill combined.

If John found out about this, Dean knew his back would be raw from the lashing he would get. John thought that he shouldn't get attached to anyone at all, let alone to a man. Dean had no idea how his father would feel about the news that his soul-mate was male. Dean felt sometimes as if he didn't know his family at all. He sometimes felt like a stranger, looking in - the referee that blew the whistle and sent the other two to their corners, before they got too heated in their arguments. In the back of his mind, Dean felt that harsh discipline was John's way of telling the two of them that he cared, although he was almost completely convinced that everything in John Winchester's life was about Sam.

And now it was about him, Dean, and this man, Alex. Finally Dean felt he'd found someone that was his very own. Someone that would love him. That would take care of him and think of him... and who wasn't his brother. Alex wouldn't ever make him give up his dreams, he knew that. Dean knew he would have to say all this to Alex one day, and that would be a chick-flick moment that would probably make him want to kill himself, but, it had to be said. Should be said.

It didn't have to be said right now, however. Dean dragged his mouth up and down Alex's cock, working with the bucking of his victim's hips. He would have told Alex he was willing to fuck him, but then he suspected that the hospital would kick them both out on their ears. If they did get caught with this, they could lie their way out, but to be caught with his dick deep in his lover would be another thing entirely.

Dean used his tongue to press hard against the underside of Alex's cock, working it upwards 'til he got to the crown, teasing around the rim before sucking him down once again, this time taking so much in he would have been gagging if he hadn't opened his throat up wide.

Alex could feel that the tingles were beginning to herald orgasm. he bucked, gasped as his stitches pulled and moaned as the pain mingled with the pleasure to add to his arousal. "Oh, Christ, Dean, I want to do stuff to you that will make you scream." He felt his balls tightening and spread his legs wider. "Your mouth is so fucking amazing, you make me want to push myself right down your throat."

He arched his back as that probing tongue pushed into his slit, curled around the head of his dick, slithered down the vein that ran the length of it. "You could give lessons. Fuck, I think..."

The prickling sweetness suddenly began to escalate, and Alex cried out, unable to stay silent as his climax slammed through him, and he began to spurt out his ejaculate.

Dean cast a quick glance up but it didn't last long as he buried Alex's cock deep in his throat once again, swallowing him down. The ejaculate filled his mouth, going down as he swallowed hard, pressing more out with his tongue as he did so, 'til he had to pull off rapidly and scurry up the bed, before someone came rushing in.

He gave a chuckle and a kiss as well, while soothing his lover. His head jerked when the door came open, and the busty nurse came rushing in. "Is everything okay?" she asked, apparently somewhat worried as she started checking the machines.

"Yeah, just told him a really dirty joke. I think he laughed so hard he nearly peed himself," Dean lied with a grin.

The nurse came over to the bed, noting Alex's flushed cheeks. "You look as if you're getting a fever," she murmured, reaching for the thermometer that was in the receptacle on the wall at the head of the bed. "I hope you aren't getting an infection." She pushed the slender instrument into his mouth despite his protests and began to feel for his pulse. Alex rolled his eyes expressively as Dean sat up and moved back to sit on a chair. "You laugh, and I swear to you that I'll put you over my knee and spank you, just as soon as I get out of this bed."

"I'd like to see that," said the nurse, smiling brightly as she checked the thermometer. "Doesn't look as if your temp's up too much. Just don't do anything to get yourself excited, and we'll all be happy, all right?"

Dean couldn't help the snorting laugh that came out of him while trying to look as innocent as possible. At the threat of spanking, Dean just smirked, and the smile got even wider when the pretty nurse smiled as well. "Guess there are no sponge baths in your future, buddy."

Dean lounged back, crossing his legs at the ankles and folding his hands upon his lap. "No more dirty jokes for you, no matter how much you beg." He looked up at the pretty nurse. "He's so cute when he begs, too. Like a little puppy." He grinned brightly. "Right, bed-ridden?" As he called Alex that name, his smile held something more than just a smirk.

"Bed ridden?" snorted Alex. "See if I give you any more help! You can do your own crosswords from now on, buddy." He smirked at Dean, gazing down at his lover's erection, plainly visible through the much-washed denim he was wearing.

"So go on, tell me the joke? I haven't had a good laugh in ages." The nurse seemed inclined to linger, and Alex flashed her a sweet smile.

"See, if I did that, I'd probably get excited all over again, and you'd whack me with a spoon or something, wouldn't you?" He took her hand and winked at her. "Actually, there wasn't really a joke. He was just telling me that he thought your figure was stunning, weren't you, Dean?"

She flushed and snatched her hand back from him. "Just don't do anything that's going to get his temperature up," she said to Dean, and left, looking decidedly disconcerted.

Dean gave his usual charming smile and nodded, "It's true." It was easy for Dean to go along with the lie. "And he doesn't help me; he cheats by looking at the answers to the puzzle." Dean got up, crossing over to the door to make certain that she was gone and then went to his lover's bedside. He took hold of Alex's blanket and pulled it up to cover him more. "I really should get going, get our stuff packed. As soon as you are free, we can head down the road. You can rest in the back seat."

Dean really didn't want to leave, but sadly he had to; it was getting dark and visiting hours were almost over. He reached over and grabbed the remote for the little TV, passing it to Alex. "Here, primetime TV is much better than daytime." He leaned over, kissing his lover tenderly before reaching over to the chair to get his jacket. "Miss me while I'm gone, will ya?"

"I'm missing you already," confessed Alex, taking the remote and letting it fall to the bedcover. "I wish you could stay tonight. Maybe I should just get out of bed right now and come home with you... I mean come back to the hotel." He watched Dean putting on his jacket and seriously considered doing just that. "I guess I can wait 'til tomorrow, if I have to," he said, softly. "I waited long enough to find you. One more day isn't going to kill me, is it?"

Dean shook his head, "Not gonna kill ya. Promise, will be back in the morning with coffee and fresh donuts for you. You just stay here, take advantage of the pretty nurses while I'm gone. That should entertain you for a bit." He reached out, giving Alex's hand a squeeze. Dean turned and started to head out but paused, looking back to him, "Love ya." The words were soft but full of meaning as he gave Alex his little smile before opening the door to head out.

Dean really didn't want to leave Alex but he had to. And standing at the door didn't make it any easier. He smiled at the nurse, gave her a little wave, before he headed off down the halls, making his way out to his car and back to the empty hotel room.

Alex lay back against his pillows. He felt tired and somehow antsy. He'd wanted to make Dean come for him, and he hadn't had the chance, thanks to the nosy nurse who had decided to come flirt with them both. He pushed the remote away and closed his eyes. Maybe if he went to sleep now, tomorrow would come faster, and he'd be away from here, out of the hospital and back with his new love - his new life.

He dozed, and then, in time, he slept.

He had no idea what time it was when they came for him, the three men in black. One of them tripped on the chair that had been left out in the middle of the room following Dean's departure, and Alex woke, suddenly, painfully aware that all was not well. The men moved in on him as he opened his mouth to yell. He managed one loud shout, before they had him pinned to the bed. He heard a voice he knew saying, "Shut up, Krycek," before the needle slid into his arm and darkness floated up to suck him down, sickeningly aware that the Consortium had found him again.

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

Part 12: Beware of Pretty Faces

Beware of pretty faces that you find
A pretty face can hide an evil mind
Ah, be careful what you say
Or you'll give yourself away
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow
"Secret Agent Man," by Johnny Rivers

Much time had passed since that dreadful day in Dean's life.

Upon returning the following morning to the hospital, he'd found that Alex was gone. No one could tell him what had happened; no one seemed to know. He'd searched for days - weeks in fact - but had got nowhere. He could find no leads. It was as if Alex had vanished into thin air; there was nothing. Someone working at the hospital had told him that Alex must have gotten up and left on his own, and Dean's heart had sunk to his boots. He couldn't bring himself to believe that the man who had admitted he loved Dean only the night before would have just walked away; it simply didn't make sense.

When he'd tried to call the number Alex had used for the Lone Gunmen, it had been disconnected. The trail was cold for that lead too - a dead end, and that had made things even worse for Dean; He'd reluctantly come to the conclusion that Alex had indeed walked out. There was still a glimmer of hope left to him, although as each day, week, month and finally year, passed by, even that little glimmer faded into memory and became the past, yet one more thing that would never be for Dean Winchester.

Dean moved on. He hooked back up with his father for a while, but did more gigs on his own, traveling all over the country, merely meeting up with Dad once in a while. Then the thing that Dean dreaded most had happened, his father had suddenly gone missing, simply leaving a message on Dean's phone. Dean felt those same feelings of isolation and inadequacy all over again. He'd been abandoned. Everyone in his life had left him. First it had been Sam, who had set off for University without giving him a second thought, then the woman he loved had sent him on his way, laughing at him for the life he led. Alex Krycek had vanished as if he'd never been, and now it was his father who'd disappeared.

Dean was almost ready to give up. However, giving up was not in Dean's nature. It was a measure of how desperate he was that, having decided he did not want to do this alone, he went to pick up his brother from Stanford where he'd spent the last four years. Reluctant as Sam was, making Dean understand their liaison was only temporary, the two started to search for John Winchester. Then things for Sam turned downhill fast when his girlfriend was killed in the same terrible fashion as their mother had been.

Sam had stayed with Dean, searching for their father. Deep inside, Dean was happy that Sam hadn't instantly headed back to Stanford, though he felt it was only because Sam wanted to find Jessica's killer, and not because of him or his father, but Dean didn't care. He'd learned to take what he could get, and he was more comfortable knowing that his role was once more that of protector - protecting his brother. It had caused a pang inside him, because he had also promised Alex he would take care of him, and yet... Deep down inside, the young ghost hunter knew that, if Alex hadn't left the hospital of his own free will, he had failed him.

They'd stopped at a gas station, Dean was leaning against the back of his Impala, staring off into nothingness, though it appeared as if he was looking at the two lane blacktop that stretched out behind him. His arms were crossed over his chest while he listened to the old gas pump chiming off the gallons as the Impala drank. For some reason on this day Dean was thinking of Alex. He hadn't thought about him in over a couple of years, but now he suddenly found himself wondering what Alex was doing. Who he was with now? Was he okay. Was he... happy? Dean was sure Alex was... or he would have tried to contact him by now. More than likely the man hadn't really cared. His words had been just that, words and nothing more.

Alex had not wanted to come to Bellefleur, not wanted to shadow Fox Mulder, and was chafing at the bit to be gone once more, knowing that the Smoker was manipulating him yet again and hating the fact that he was allowing it to happen. He'd found the ship, found the evidence of alien presence, and was all in favor of blowing the thing up while it was still on the ground. He wondered why he didn't just take his carefully hidden funds and go live in Mexico, or Bali, or maybe Tibet.

He pulled in to the elderly dilapidated gas station that was on the outskirts of the little town, and emerged from his rental car to fill up. There was a black 67 Impala at the pump, and a long, lean guy filling it, hair blowing in his eyes as he wielded the hose. A lump came to Alex's throat as he recalled the brief interlude he'd spent in such a vehicle so many years ago. He'd never found Dean again. First he'd been imprisoned, interrogated, and then hauled off to Russia by his nemesis, the Federal Agent Fox Mulder. By the time he'd been free to search, the trail was cold, and Alex had lost his arm, lost his chance at freedom, and lost the remains of his self respect.

Walking around his car to take the gas nozzle to the tank, Alex stopped short. There, slouching against the trunk of the car he'd noticed, was a familiar figure.

"Dean," he breathed, his voice harsh. "Oh, my God! Is it you?"

Dean hadn't paid too much attention to the other car pulling up. He hadn't bothered to turn his head at the sound of the door opening, or the person who was getting out. He finally cast a quick glance over at the figure as it moved around behind the pump but he hadn't identified the person who was bent over filling the car, so it came as a shock when he heard a voice he knew, saying his name. Dean's head slowly turned, arms uncrossing as he pushed from the back of his car. He blinked, incredulous, and he felt his insides tighten.

Oh God. It was Alex! After all this time it was him. He was looking a little older. Better dressed. Dean swallowed hard, not sure if he should smile or punch the man. With another blink, a shift of his body, he set about trying to act as if it was nothing to him, but it seemed to him that it was almost impossible to hide the trembling within him. "Uh, hey," he began. "Long time, no see." Dean looked back at Sam, who had finished gassing up the car and was now tucking the pump back into its slot, suddenly he felt a little uncomfortable. "Uh, Sam, this is Alex Krycek, old friend, Sam... Alex."

With introductions out of the way, he felt it was time to start asking questions. "What're you doing in this neck of the woods?"

"I... I'm on assignment." Alex flushed. Dean knew about what he did, but it had been so long ago, and Dean's lanky companion - brother, he corrected himself - didn't know a thing about him, that was obvious. He spoke quickly, hoping to be heard before he was shunned. "Dean, I was taken from the hospital that night. They surprised me - they drugged me and smuggled me out of the hospital. It was a long time later, before I could even start to look for you, but I did. I tried so hard to find you. I even put ads in some of the papers where I thought you might look. I had them run ads in the New York Times and the Chicago Tribune. Guess you never saw them."

Alex wanted to put his arm around Dean and kiss him breathless, but there was Sam standing there glowering, and somehow Dean's attitude had changed, and Alex couldn't blame him one little bit. "I never stopped looking. Guess I'd make a really lousy detective."

Dean gave a nonchalant shrug, not sure if this was just another story Alex was putting out. Dean had never seen any ads, and he had to question if the man had even tried to do the things he was saying. He was sure that if his father had seen them, he would have said something. "It happens, I guess," he murmured, dismissing the topic as though bored. He turned, digging in his pocket and handing Sam the credit card. "Here you go, bro." He shoved his wallet back into the pocket of the leather jacket that had once belonged to his father.

"Well, looks like things are better for you, doesn't it?" he was keeping his distance, keeping the pumps between them as though they were a shield. "We're... um, passing through."

Why the hell didn't you call? Dean wanted to shout to him. In the end, he said, "Got a gig to take a look at." He wasn't going to tell Alex they were looking for their father.

Walking around to lean in the car, he pulled out a scrap receipt and a pen, jotting his number on it. "Call me when you're... done with your... assignment." He handed it over, his own fingers brushing Alex's, which sent a tingle through him. He quickly pulled away. "Sorry, can't stay and talk." He walked around to the driver's side, putting the car between him and his former lover. "I'll... see you around."

Maybe.

Sam returned and got into the car. Dean gave Alex one last look, and then climbed into the car himself, turning the stereo up loud. Then the black Impala pulled away, leaving Alex behind, and, Dean felt, his heart too, even though he'd tried to play it down.

Figures I'd only get one chance at happiness, thought Alex, looking at the paper in his hand. Swiftly he programmed Dean's number into his phone so that he would have it safe, and then tucked the paper into his pocket for good measure. Dean had looked good, although there was a lost look in his eyes that hadn't been there when they'd been together before.

"Damned if I'm gonna lose you again, now that I've found you." Alex was determined in that instant that he was going to finally break free of the Consortium, and the only way he could possibly do that would be by killing the evil snake-in-the-grass who was the mastermind behind the shadow organization. First he'd put an end to C. G. B. Spender, and then he'd find Dean and they'd have a chance at happiness at last.

Flipping open his phone, he dialed Marita. "Plans have changed. I'm coming back to DC. There's something I've been putting off for far too long."

Walking away from the limp figure on the ground was easy. Alex stepped over his nemesis, left Spender's apartment and made his way to a nearby park, then he flipped open his phone and dialed. The number seemed to take way too long to connect, and Alex felt a cold sinking feeling as he waited. Was Dean's number still good, or had he had second thoughts after driving away?

When Dean finally answered, the relief flooded through him trickling down and turning his bones to water. "Hi, Dean, it's Alex. Are you busy?"

Dean had been batting at Sam's hands as his brother tried manfully to dress his wounds. "Get off me, let me get the phone." He groped around, searching for it as Sam interfered just enough to cause the thing to slip through his fingers before he could answer it. It was only just before it could switch to voice mail, that Dean finally got his phone flipped open. He hesitated a moment, "Hey, um... no, not busy. What's up?" He tried to keep the eagerness out of his voice not only because he wanted to appear cool and protect his own heart, but also to keep Sam from knowing.

"Oh, thank God." Alex's voice broke. "I was scared that you'd maybe changed your mind, and I'd lost you again." He gave a sigh that was audible, even over the phone. "I missed you, Dean. I've wished I could find you so often. Do you... can we meet? I need to see you again. Please say we can get together?"

"Sure, I'd... like that." Dean grabbed his shirt. That sigh had tied Dean's gut up in knots. He was aching - with relief or excitement he couldn't decide. He cleared his throat, telling Alex to meet him at a bar outside of town. "My brother and I will be in town for a few days. I'm sure I can squeeze you in. See you then." Dean hung up his phone and sat twitching. The thought of seeing Alex again the next day had him feeling nervous. More than nervous in fact. It would take all his energy and willpower to lie to his brother so that he could go out on his own, especially since Sam seemed to be determined to cluck over him like some mother hen.

"Damned right you'll squeeze me in," whispered Alex, slowly putting his own phone back into his pocket. Colorado. He had to get to Colorado as soon as he could. Swiftly heading back to his car, Alex headed for the airport.

Blackwater Ridge, Lost Creek, Colorado was the armpit of the universe, Alex thought, as he finally drove into the little township. He first checked into the local motel, looking around as he did so for signs of the Impala, although right then it wasn't visible. Once he'd unpacked and checked his watch, he headed out to the bar that Dean had nominated and settled down to wait for him.

He'd ordered a beer, and it occurred to him that he should probably call Dean to let him know that he was waiting, but when he dialed the number he had to leave a message. "Okay, Dean, I'm here and waiting for you. I can't wait to see you again." After that there seemed to be nothing else to say, so he sat back to await what might come.

Dean and Sam had spent a couple of days recovering. Sam was doing research on their next gig, although he wasn't finding much, either in the papers or online. Instead, he was spending his time surreptitiously answering emails from his college pals and hoping that Dean wouldn't catch on, and he was also starting to get a bit antsy that nothing was coming up to give them a clue to their father's whereabouts as he searched through database after database.

The trail was getting cold.

Leaning back against the headboard, gloomily examining his bandages, Dean felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out, checking the number and seeing that it wasn't one he knew. He let it go to voicemail and then idly dialed in to check it. Of all things, he was surprised to hear the voice that had been recorded. He hadn't expected Alex to call at all, let alone take him up on his offer and come to him. When Dean shut off his phone, he was a little stunned.

Pushing up off the bed, Dean grabbed his worn, leather jacket, "I'm heading out for a while. You gonna be okay here by yourself? Want me to get your teddy bear?" He asked, grabbing his keys.

"Where you going?" Sam asked, eyeing his brother with a questioning look.

"Out." Dean answered.

"Yeah, out where?"

"Okay, twenty questions, I'm gonna go out and get a drink, maybe make us some money. Wanna come along?" Dean offered, hoping he wouldn't accept.

Sam just stared at his brother then shook his head, "No thanks. Last thing I want to do tonight is watch you throw out your cheap pick-up lines."

"They aren't cheap. They work. You're just jealous." Dean smirked as he headed out of the door.

Sam didn't answer, he merely raised his middle finger and watched his brother leave before turning back to his laptop.

Dean clambered behind the wheel of the Impala and used all his control not to break the speed limit to reach the person who was waiting for him. Upon arriving, he remained sitting for a long moment, gathering himself and trying to calm down. It was just a meeting. Nothing more. Just talking. Dean was sure Alex had moved on. Finally he got out of the car.

Casually walking into the bar, Dean looked around, trying to locate his target. There he was, sitting there, drinking a beer. Dean looked away, and went over to the bar. He smiled at the bartender, ordered a beer and even took a moment while waiting to flirt with the girl next to him. He gave one of his laughs before taking his beer and heading over to the table where Alex was waiting.

Dean slid into the seat across from Alex and leaned back, nonchalantly taking a drink and attempting to look as though he just didn't care.

The closed and guarded young man who sat down opposite to Alex was a shock to him. He hadn't thought that this was going to be easy, but he'd forgotten just how defensive Dean was. He took a deep breath and pulled a page from a newspaper out of his pocket. "I kept them, see." he murmured. He'd circled the ad that he'd run, which simply said, 'Dean, Alex would like to go hunting sirens again,' and gave a box number to contact. "I ran this for weeks - until they noticed where I was getting the money from and froze that account. God, Dean, I thought I'd never see you again."

He laid the paper on the table between them and picked up his beer, shrugging lopsidedly. "I think I did pretty much everything I could think of to find you. I even went to Stanford, but I didn't know what classes your brother was taking. I guess we were too busy to share that much information." He reached to touch Dean's arm as if wanting to verify that he was really here. "I missed you so much."

Dean looked down at the paper clippings, leaning forward to read without touching them. "Online dating services weren't working out huh?"

He leaned back, looking up at Alex, trying to gauge his feelings before looking away. This wasn't at all easy for him. "When I came back that morning, you were gone. Not a sign. I asked around, tried to get surveillance tapes; I spent weeks searching but... your guys are good. I even called that number your geeky friends had, but it had been disconnected." He took another drink, more to give himself something to do than because he was thirsty.

Silent for a long moment, he finally made a face and turned his head away. "You left me like everyone else has. But hey," he said quickly after a beat, "It's okay. Time to move on. So what'cha been up to?"

"You think I just left you?" Alex sounded bitter. "They shot me full of dope and took me away. I was kept drugged up and interrogated for months and then dumped in the middle of rural Michigan. I found a group of white supremacists who had me working with them for a few days and then, just when I'd arranged to get away from them, Mulder caught me and dragged me with him off to Russia, chasing fucking aliens." He gave a derisive laugh. "Well, he found them, I'll say that much. I... the whole journey was hell, and I... don't think you'll much care for me now. They ruined me."

Alex hung his head, wanting to tell Dean about the loss of his arm, but not quite sure how to say it. In the end he merely shrugged his lop-sided gesture again and reached for his beer, his left arm dangling uselessly. "By the time I was fit again after Russia, there was no way I could remember your number. That's when I put the ads in the paper."

Dean tried not to feel anything. The story sounded true enough. Alex, as far as he knew, hadn't lied to him in the past, but time had passed; they had both changed. He tipped his head a little, studying Alex as if trying to read the man. He noticed that Alex wasn't using his arm, and he furrowed his brow as green eyes were raised to stare into a pair that was just like them.

"Mulder, huh... I'd ask if you had a pleasant trip, but that seems kind of obvious." Dean took another drink. "What happened to your arm? And..." Dean looked down at his beer bottle, picking at the label with his thumbnail, "And if you wanted to get away from them... why didn't you just leave, walk away. How many chances did you have after...?" Dean looked away, turning his head out towards the bar. "Whenever I would hit a town, some out of the way place, for months, a year even, I would ask around, use the police database." He swung round suddenly, bringing his piercing gaze back to Alex.

"Dad told me to give up. He said men like you... have these patterns. Patterns you get so set in you can't and won't ever escape from them. You don't want to. You may say you do, but you never try. Not really. He also said it was in your best interests. Was better for you. Better for me. Attachments... in our line of work... not a good thing. Can get hurt. He was right..." Dean nodded, looking down at his beer and wrinkled his face a little, "But all I could think about was... you were out there... alone. Scared. I made a promise to you and..." He swallowed hard. "... Hey, all in all... you seem to be doing well. Better clothes than the shit I bought you at Wal-Mart, huh?"

"What do you do, when nothing matters to you any more, Dean?" Alex looked down at his hand, carefully avoiding Dean's eyes. "You just keep going, because it's either that or die, and eventually you make a mistake that kills you, don't you?" There was a brief, uncomfortable moment when the two of them sat staring into their drinks, and then Alex said softly, "Losing you was painful. I didn't care any more, and I got stupid. You want to know what's wrong with my arm? I don't have an arm any more. They cut it off."

He sighed. "I guess you could say that I'm doing well. I'm much more adept at stealing what I need, anyway." He reached out to Dean for a moment, and then dropped his hand with a sigh. "I never stopped loving you. I don't have anyone else, and I don't suppose I ever will. I guess it was naive of me to think we could just take up where we left off, wasn't it?"

Dean swallowed hard. His arm had been cut OFF? Shit! Dean felt anger welling up in him for what had been done to this man who had been his lover. For putting him through whatever trials he'd had to suffer, and for what? This? Alex looked empty - a mere shell of the man he once was.

Daring at last, Dean reached out, snagging Alex's hand, fingers curling around his wrist and dragging back so their palms were together. "You know we can't," he answered softly. "I never stopped loving you either, Alexei. And you aren't alone in not having anyone else." He sighed softly. "Dad, he ditched me not too long ago. I knew it would only be a matter of time, but Sam is... he... I dragged him along to search for dad."

Dean looked at Alex. "I'm sorry." The words were whispered, almost inaudible.

"Yeah, yeah." Alex swallowed, his eyes suspiciously bright. "Wouldn't want your little brother to know that you..." He paused, clutched at Dean's hand for a moment, then released it, pushing to his feet. "I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you, Dean. Have a good life and stay safe, won't you?"

He wanted to bend and kiss Dean. He wanted to scream at him that they had to be together. Instead, he lifted his right hand in a mixture of blessing and farewell and turned to go. Dean blinked. He swallowed for a moment, then turned to watch the retreating form of his former lover. Something inside him snapped. He shoved out of the booth, got to his feet quickly and surged out after Alex. Once he reached the open, he unleashed his anger.

His hand slapped upon Alex's shoulder and forced the man to stop. "What? Just like that, you're gonna walk out on me again?! Just leave me sitting there, after all you said? You fucking selfish bastard. You're just like my brother. Just like my father. All you guys do is think of yourselves."

Dean backed away, hurt showing clearly on his face. "Fine. You want to walk out. Then at least take this with you." He reached out, jerked the man to him by the collar of his jacket and kissed him, long, deep and hard. He finally pulled back, gasping for air and slowly released Alex. "That's a goodbye."

There was a long beat between them, before he spoke again. "But I don't want to say goodbye." Alex stood, stunned. He felt shivery and light-headed. For a moment he just gazed at Dean, and then he spoke.

"I don't either."

Part 13: Long Distance Losing

I let somebody get under my skin,
Long distance losing is all that I've seen,
Now there's a river,
Now there's a river
"Long Distance," by Turin Brakes

They were in the middle of the parking lot, and people were coming and going, but Alex didn't care. He had lifted his hand to cup Dean's cheek, and now he slid it around the back of Dean's head, pulling him forward to kiss him again, his mouth open for Dean to explore. "I don't expect you to believe me, but I love you, Dean. I'll go gentle on your kid brother, but I want you, and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to have you, and all I've got to say about your father is fuck him, if that's what he believes. You and me, we deserve each other; we deserve anything that makes us happy."

For a moment, they stood, watching each other, and then Alex reached for Dean's hand. "I've got a room, if you want to come back and... and talk. No expectations, and nothing you don't want. Just... I love you, and if you can bring yourself to go with a cripple, then... let's go."

Dean's heart stilled for a moment. I don't either. The words echoed in his head, reverberating as Alex said those other words, I love you. A tremor ran through Dean, rattling him down to his bones. His insides were fluttering like butterflies. His heart, when it started functioning again, began a rapid beat, as if performing some weird war dance. Everything else around him, the people passing, car doors opening and closing, mini conversations in the distance, all faded away to nothing as he stared at Alex.

Dean looked down as he licked his lips after they finished kissing. "Yeah, let's go." He stepped back anxiously, digging for his keys, and started heading for his car, "And you're not a cripple, Alex," He threw the words back at Alex over his shoulder. He went to his car, and prepared to follow Alex back to where he was staying.

The trip back to the motel was soon over. Weirdly enough, Alex was staying at the same place as Dean and his brother, although their rooms were at different ends of the establishment. As Dean pulled the Impala back into its spot outside the room he shared with Sam, Alex stood and waited for him, holding open the door to his room and watching Dean as he hurried across, his loose-limbed walk still as sexy as ever it was.

"Come on in," murmured Alex, relaxing a little for the first time since they'd met. "I don't have much in the way of refreshments, but we can order in, if you like."

He closed the door behind Dean and turned to face him, eyes wide and dark. "You look even better than I remembered," he said, softly.

Dean hesitated for a moment before stepping into the room. His natural caution, honed by years of hunting with his father had given him that, and he was always cautious for just an instant. He moved inside, stepping to one side as the door closed, and reaching back to lock it.

"Only if you want to," Dean answered finally as he, too, just stood there staring back. "A few more scars," he gave a shrug of his shoulders. Dean finally moved, stepping around Alex and looking about the room then turned to face the man. "Tell me something, Alex... this..." he motioned between them, "Is this gonna just be one of those one-night things. Wake in the morning, go our separate ways. 'Cause if it is, tell me now. I can't..." His voice choked off and he swallowed down a lump.

Carefully peeling off his long, wool coat, Alex turned and laid it over the back of a chair, then moved over to where Dean still stood, waiting. "I want what you want," he murmured, voice deeper, huskier than usual. "You remember the guy with the cigarettes? The one that was manipulating me? The one I warned you against, back when you got me out of that silo?" Alex stood as close to Dean as he could without touching him, wondering how the confession he was about to make would sit with his lover. When Dean gave a little nod, he continued. "I killed him yesterday. That was the project I wanted to finish up, because I needed to make sure that he never got his clutches into you. Now that he's dead, you won't be in danger, if you decide to be with me."

He waited, wondering if the confession he'd just made would make Dean run screaming.

Dean's eyes followed the movement of the coat as it slid off that fake arm. He didn't return them to Alex, till the other man started moving towards him, still talking. He watched those lips move without actually taking in all of what he was saying. His mind raced, and he gave a little nod, because a part of him remembered. With a blink, he shifted his gaze up to Alex's eyes. "He had no idea who I was, or he would have tried it a long time ago, Alex, and if he'd tried anything, my dad probably would have shot him for it." Dean only half believed what he was saying at that moment, but it sounded reassuring to his own ears.

"The things we are willing to do for the people we love, huh?" He gave a little short laugh mixed with a snort. "I'm always gonna be in danger. As long as that demon is alive, and my family is hunting it, I'm gonna be putting myself out on the line. But at least you aren't... from him. And even if you are..." Dean smiled into Alex's eyes, "You won't be as long as I'm around."

"You, um, salted and burned his bones didn't you? Make sure the job was complete?" He gave Alex that teasing charming half-smirk smile of his.

"Fuck! I should've, shouldn't I?" Alex could feel his insides melting as he saw that smile of Dean's, cocky and sweet, and lighting up the depths of his eyes. "All I could think of was that he'd put you through the stuff he did to me, and I couldn't let that happen."

He dropped to his knees in front of Dean and stole his arm around Dean's hips, leaned his cheek against Dean's stomach and gave a little sigh. "I can't believe that you're here like this. I can't believe that you even want to be with me now that I'm not whole." He remained there, holding Dean, inhaling the warm, Dean scent of him as he knelt.

A little laugh floated from Dean. "Didn't you learn anything from those days you hung out with me?" He'd shifted and had to stop himself from backing up when Alex dropped to his knees. His eyes shifted down, and a hand stole across to rest in Alex's hair as Dean started petting him, "I know it's hard to believe, but you don't have to worship me." Okay, maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but it came out anyway. Dean curled his fingers under Alex's chin, lifting it, his thumb caressing Alex's lips. "C'm'ere." He reached down, hooking his arm under one of Alex's to pull him up.

Guiding them both over to sit on the bed, Dean turned to face Alex. "A lot of things happened to me after you left. A hell of a lot." He gave a sigh. "I'm surprised you even want to talk to me." He took Alex's hand, noting that his silver ring was still there. "I was... tempted to call this Mulder of yours several times, but two things stopped me. Dad for one. He probably would have beat the living tar out of me for contacting an FBI agent, even if he is one that chases after little green men, and two... I was scared that if I even mentioned you I would get you into deeper shit."

"You've got that right." Alex sat close to Dean, feeling the warmth of Dean's thigh pressed against his with a kind of desperate joy. "Besides, after Russia, he didn't ever know where I was. I made sure of that." He gave a little laugh. "It was his fault I lost my arm, even if he wasn't actually there when it happened, the cocksucking bastard that he is."

It was sweet, sitting there on the bed with someone he cared about, swapping stories and just being together. Alex, usually terribly careful to keep his one hand free, allowed Dean to capture it, hold it and play with his fingers, all his defenses for the moment down. "That's what I was doing in Bellefleur that day we met at the gas station. I was following Mulder. I was supposed to make sure he found a downed alien ship, but I went one better." He smiled, not a nice smile, and lowered his lashes. "I made sure that they took him. He's going to find out more about aliens than he ever really wanted to know."

"He was the cause of this?" Dean touched the artificial hand before making a face and pulling his hand away. He grasped Alex's real one. "Lucky they took him, or I would have..." Cutting himself off, he frowned. Dean hadn't realized, back in Bellefleur, just how close he'd been to Alex's ex - to the man that had treated him so poorly, and who, in his eyes, was practically responsible for everything that had happened to his lover. If he had only known, those old, protective behaviors would have surfaced, and Dean thought that he would probably be sitting in jail right now.

"Well, I hope he gets enough anal probes that he walks and sits funny." Dean pulled his hand away, getting up and taking off his leather jacket. He threw it onto the chair beside Alex's coat, before sitting back down. "How... how did you lose your arm?" Dean still carried his wounds from the Windigo, but none of them were as dreadful as the one that had severed Alex's arm.

Sighing, Alex thought back to the day when Mulder had broken them out of the gulag and taken him with him. "It's a long story. He dragged me with him to Russia, on the trail of the aliens, and we were captured by soldiers and thrown into a Gulag. I was flannelling them into believing I was a high up officer in the KGB, and it would've worked, too, because I've got the contacts, but he couldn't let things be for even a day. He broke out and hauled me with him." Alex winced at the memory. "I managed to roll off the truck he'd stolen, and ended up in the wilds - it was like one of Grimm's Fairy tales. A bunch of villagers found me, and they said they'd help me. Then in the middle of the night, they dragged me out of my sleeping bag and hacked off my left arm with a red hot machete." He shivered. "I've never felt anything like that. I thought I was going to go mad."

The memories were too much. He paused for a moment, face pale. "I... They thought that they were helping me. The concentration camp had been experimenting on the villagers, but they didn't take the crippled, so they were cutting their arms off to keep from being chosen for the experiments."

Dean shook his head as he closed his eyes, as if he could almost feel the pain that Alex had gone through. Everyone around him seemed to suffer but him. His father had suffered with the loss of his mother; Sam with a childhood that was just not by any stretch of the imagination normal, and then, more recently, with the loss of Jessica. And now here was Alex, who had suffered horribly, while he himself was just fine. Nothing had affected him, save for the death of his mother, and at that time Dean had been very young. He might have been only four when it had happened, it was something he wouldn't ever be able to forget.

Dean felt suddenly very small.

Doing the only thing he knew how, Dean placed his arm around Alex and pulled him close, tucking his head under his own chin. "It's over now. Time to move on. From here on."

Warmth surrounded Alex, Dean's body pressing against him, holding him, felt wonderful. For a while he didn't move, merely sat relishing the contact. When he finally stirred, it was to lift his head and find Dean's mouth, sucking his lower lip in so that he could tease it gently with his teeth.

"From here on, you belong to me, and I'm yours, not anyone else's." The words were murmured against Dean's mouth, and Alex began to kiss Dean, little nips and nibbles to begin with, gradually becoming more passionate, more loving, until at last they were kissing, open mouthed and sloppy as their tongues dueled.

Dean didn't resist, didn't fight the contact. If anything he wanted to feel it even more. Slowly, he gave in to that old familiar feeling, flowing into the kiss as he held Alex tighter to him. When Alex pulled back to murmur his soft vow, Dean couldn't think of one thing to say that would counter Alex's words.

Reaching back around, he started undoing Alex's shirt, pushing one button at a time through the tiny holes. Dean wasn't sure if Alex would be willing... with the missing arm so new, but Dean felt he needed to prove to Alex right now that it didn't matter to him. Nothing mattered in the here and now, except for the man in his arms. He couldn't bring himself to tell Alex about Sam... although he was sure that Sam was probably gonna have a few words to say on the matter of who Dean belonged to.

Realizing with a start that Dean was undressing him, Alex froze a little. He felt horribly exposed, the ugly plastic of his prosthetic arm a glaring contrast to Dean's perfect flesh. "Fuck, I don't want you to look at me, Dean," he growled. "Leave me some dignity, man."

He reached for the waistband of Dean's jeans, popping the button and slipping his fingers in to remind himself of Dean's hard flesh and the heat they'd once known together, expecting any minute for Dean to shove him away in disgust.

Dean grabbed Alex's neck, thumb under his chin pushing it up so they were eye to eye. "I don't care, Alex," Dean hissed before latching his teeth onto Alex's neck, nibbling and sucking hard enough to leave a mark. He pushed Alex, sending him onto his back as his own body followed. He'd opened Alex's shirt already so that they could lie skin to skin, and now Dean put his hand down onto Alex's cock, through his jeans, rubbing with the heel of his hand.

Working his way down over Alex's chest, Dean used his nose and chin to push the shirt out of the way. "You missed me; I missed you," he mouthed, sliding off the bed so he could kneel before his lover and work his pants open. He gave a smirk, remembering Alex's words from long ago. "Gonna make you scream for me."

Alex couldn't take his eyes off his lover. Dean's hair was a little shorter now than he had worn it when they'd fought the siren together, and his face was a little more lined, with laugh lines that crinkled around his eyes as he looked up at Alex. The pressure against his groin as Dean started to massage his cock through his pants made Alex shiver, and as Dean pulled his clothing open he couldn't hold back the little moans and groans that were beginning to emanate from him.

"Won't take long, I bet. It's been a while since I went with anyone." Alex gave a shaky laugh. "I bet you I'll pop like a fifteen year old with a centerfold."

Dean got Alex's pants open. In the years they had been apart, Dean, as Sam would no doubt tell Alex later, had been more of a slut than normal, but he had never been with another man since Alex. "Fifteen year old, huh, guess I'd better move quickly then." Dean pulled at Alex's pants and had them down low enough that he was easily able to get at Alex's hard flesh as he revealed it.

Dean breathed on Alex and then without hesitation curled a greedy hand around his cock, grasping it firmly and pulling it towards him. There wasn't much foreplay in this encounter; Dean took Alex into his mouth, sucking him hard and moaning, his voice sending vibrations around Alex's flesh.

It didn't take long. Dean hadn't lost any of his skill, and Alex had been waiting a very long time for this. Silken heat surrounded him as Dean swallowed him down, pulling on him, sucking hard, lavishing attention on his cock and balls. Alex arched, head thrashing from side to side as he felt Dean suck the juices out of him.

Trembling fingers ran through Dean's hair, clutching without purchase on the short strands. There was a brief silence, during which time sucking and slurping noises were heard, and then Alex did begin to beg, murmuring sweet obscenities at Dean as he drew closer and closer to his orgasm. "Gotta come, Dean. Need you so bad. Oh, God, suck me! Fuck, right there!"

Dean didn't let up – couldn't have stopped if he'd tried. He used every skill he could remember to get his one time lover off. He glanced up at him, drinking in the look on his face, adoring the feel of Alex's hand in his hair. With teeth and tongue he worked Alex a little more before sliding his mouth completely over his cock and drinking him down.

Once Alex was finally finished, Dean slowly pulled off, coming up to kiss his lover deeply.

Alex lay panting, helpless, spread-eagled across his bed. When Dean clambered up to lie against him and kiss him, he closed his eyes and clung to his long lost love as if he would never again be able to let go of him. "My God! You're better than ever." He tugged at Dean's T-shirt, pulling it out of his pants so that he could run his hands over the skin of his back. "Oh, man, fate's cruel. We could've had this for all that time."

Dean kept his kisses lazy and slow. He was getting to know Alex all over again – refamiliarizing himself with his lover's body as he stroked his hand over his chest. "Well, if I ever run into Fate... I'll be sure to let her know." He kissed Alex's mouth again before tipping his head for his lover to nip at. Dean missed feeling both of Alex's arms around him, but it was okay, he was still head over heels in love with him, even with an arm missing.

They squirmed against each other, mouth on mouth, their kisses lazier and less frantic as they reacquainted themselves with the feel and touch of each other's bodies. Alex nipped at Dean's neck. "Any chance you might get naked for me?" he asked softly. "I'm gonna die, if you don't fuck me."

Pushing away a little bit, Dean sat up, removing his outer shirt first and then taking off his tee shirt. Dean had a few more scars than before but nothing as hideous as the scar that Alex had. Reaching down, Dean pulled his boots off and then transferred his attentions to the removal of his pants. "Now don't you die on me, not while your luck is this good. I want to take you down to the local gas station and get some lottery tickets." He smirked as he stood to pull his pants off.

"Now, let's crank this up to eleven shall we?" As he was speaking, he had begun working on getting Alex's pants the rest of the way off.

Laughing, Alex let Dean undress him, lifting his hips obligingly, sitting forward to allow the shirt to be removed, but then cringing as he lay naked, the stump of his missing limb plainly visible. "I've got to take the damned thing off to sleep," he growled, indicating his prosthetic arm. "The fucking thing gives me blisters." He lay waiting for Dean to back away, to find him gross and ugly. Dean merely lay down, stretching out on Alex's left so that his lover's right hand had free range of movement.

Alex, grateful for Dean's thoughtfulness, reached down to squeeze his cock, scooping a little strand of pre-come onto his fingers. Lifting his hand, he began to stroke it onto first one nipple, and then the other, before bending forwards to begin licking and sucking at them. "Eleven, you say? I'm dialing here. See if we can kick things up at least one extra notch."

Dean didn't feel repulsed or put off by the lack of Alex's arm. If anything it made him want to prove to Alex he wanted him still. He couldn't resist giving a little, sexy purr as Alex leaned into to suck on him. A hand slid behind Alex's head, playing in his short locks. He gave a chuckle, then another moan. "I think you just did, baby." He pushed his head back into the pillow, closing his eyes for a moment before lifting it and looking back down. "Fuck, I nearly forgot how good your mouth really was."

"It's the best, baby! You'd better believe it." Alex slid his tongue down over the thick vein that ran the length of Dean's dick. "But you're gonna have to hold it for me, please, if you don't want me to fall on my ass. It's never occurred to me just what a handicap to good sex missing a wing could be." He lowered himself so that he could attack Dean's balls, running his tongue over them, nibbling at the loose skin until it drew up to stand out in ridges. "I forgot just how good you tasted. God, Dean, I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you again."

Moving still lower, Alex ran his tongue around Dean's tightly puckered hole, first tickling, then pushing his tongue inside.

Dean didn't mind having to do a few things just to feel his lover against him once again. Already he was thinking of other ways, other positions they could get into, but he stopped thinking altogether when Alex started sucking upon him. "Oh fuck," he groaned, lifting his hips. Dean looked down at Alex, then threw his head back once again, feeling as if he couldn't take too much more. "Alex... Alex, please... come up here." He reached down, pulling Alex up to him, kissing him as he rolled him to his back. "Want you," he breathed moving over Alex to pull his legs up and open him. Dean should have worked his lover open – should have stretched him as much as he could before doing what he was beginning to do now. Dean was pushing his cock right into Alex's entrance, his mouth covering his lover's in a deep and hungry kiss.

There was pain, but Alex welcomed it. Dean's cock felt as if it was splitting him wide, and Alex lay back, breathing long, shallow breaths as he tried to relax into the slow press home, needing Dean to own him.

Dean was careful, and was soon buried deep inside Alex, feeling his balls press against his lover's buttocks as he paused, getting accustomed to the tight squeeze of the thick muscle around his cock.

"I used to dream of this," confessed Alex, between long, luscious kisses. "I used to dream that you and I hadn't lost each other, and we were still together. God, Dean..." He pulled Dean back to him, nipping at the ghost hunter's full lips. "I've never wanted anything the way I want you now."

Dean couldn't stop kissing Alex. Not with his cock sinking so deep in him. Finally he succeeded in allowing himself to give this man some air, giving Alex the chance to speak. Dean gave a harsh chuckle, trying to ignore the fact that he'd caused both Alex and himself some pain with the dry entry; he was going to have to remember not to let his hormones take over his thought processes in the future.

With a gasp, Dean shook his head, "Had nothing better to dream of? Guess I should be flattered." He started to move his hips, slowly drawing back to get his cock to slide out then push back in. The fuck was slow and sensual as he concentrated on drawing it out. God yes, Dean had really missed this. He'd missed feeling Alex under him, missed hearing him panting and moaning.

"Jeez, you are so fucking tight!" Dean moaned the words, letting his head fall forward as he concentrated.

"Guess that's because you're so fucking huge," said Alex, a little smile on his face. There was pain, and Alex welcomed the hurt, because it had been so long since he'd had anything like this, and because it was Dean causing it.

"Would it be possible for you to slow down a little, while I get used to it?" Alex wrapped his legs around Dean, crossed his ankles behind his waist and concentrated on relaxing into the onslaught. Dean was so beautiful, his need written on his features, etched into the snarl he wore as he fucked Alex, and that alone made Alex high, prickles of arousal beginning to grab him and take him out of the pain and into the pleasure.

Dean stopped for a moment. Perhaps he was more eager than he thought, and maybe he missed Alex more than he could admit, even to himself. With Alex's legs locked behind him, Dean leaned upon one arm, using his other hand to caress over Alex's side. He could feel a few new scars, small imperfections in the smoothskin.

He had bent his head to look down their bodies. Dean hadn't thought this moment would ever happen again. That he would be able to look down and see his talisman swing between them again, brushing Alex's skin when he dipped lower. "Is that better?" He asked. "Just be aware that I don't do this for just everyone."

Laughing, Alex blew him a kiss. "I should hope not. You'd wear your dick to a nub, and that would be bad." The position he was in didn't give him much opportunity to move, but he managed a little sideways wriggle of his hips which demonstrated his eagerness. "If anyone is going to wear out your dick, that person is going to be me!

As Dean started to move again, Alex moaned, feelings were stirring inside him that he'd ruthlessly put down so many years back. He wasn't sure if getting back with Dean was going to be a good thing or not. Already he was wondering if he'd just ruined all his carefully constructed defenses, and somewhere in the back of his mind he was trying to decide whether love was worth it, or whether to cut his losses and run.

He could feel Dean's cock sliding over his sweet spot, and the familiar tingles that would lead to orgasm were starting to build. He put his one hand out to touch Dean's lips, and whispered, "I love you, Dean." And inside, he was crying.

Dean was moving once again, feeling the full length of his cock reaching deep inside Alex before drawing almost free. A little more experienced in lovemaking now, Dean knew just how to angle his hips. He knew right were to find that sweet spot, without having to search like he had to once upon a time. His hand, which had also been caressing skin, was now curled around a stiff shaft that was leaking, getting his fingers wet as he pulled at the skin.

Pausing for just a moment, Dean shivered. If Alex only knew what his words were doing to him inside, but over the years of their separation, he'd managed to rebuild those walls of his, stronger than ever, thanks to his brother and his dad. What Dean had always feared most, had already happened. "I know you do," was all he could say. It wasn't the most heartfelt response he could have given, but Dean had decided some time ago that he mustn't get close to anyone ever again.

Teeth biting one of Alex's fingers, Dean used his tongue to separate them out so he could suck on one of them. He could feel his own release drawing closer as the two of them worked their way towards completion. It wasn't going to take very much longer at this rate.

The stimulation was becoming unbearable, and Alex bucked against Dean, helplessly taking whatever Dean gave him, wanting more and fearing it even as he craved. Dean's hand on his cock was perfect, driving him crazy as the two of them plunged towards their orgasm.

When his balls tightened and he felt his climax sparking through him, Alex cried out, his body shuddering through the pleasure that was consuming him. Dean's face was closed off, his expression remote as he approached his own orgasm, and Alex wanted to scratch, to bite, to do something that would remind his lover that this was him, Alex Krycek, and not some faceless fuck.

Dean felt his own body tighten. Every muscle in him seemed to clamp down tight and make his whole body shake with the utter force of his release. Teeth were clenched as his head was bent. He too wanted to bite, to leave a mark, but he didn't. Instead, he felt the sure ecstasy wash over his body, every muscle throbbing with the blood that sang through him. When it was finally over, he gasped a deep breath before forcing himself to push away, pull out and then drop down beside his lover.

With one hand on Alex's chest, he panted for air. "Shit," came the whispered curse. He wasn't sure if he was saying it because he'd made a mistake or because his brain had been fried. Dean had forgotten how sex with Alex could turn him into a pile of goo.

"You took the word right out of my mouth!" gasped Alex, sweaty and panting from their exertions. He let his legs drop back to the bed and slid his arm around Dean's shoulders to hold him close. "That was pretty fucking hot," he mumbled. "You ought to be bottled and sold as an aphrodisiac." He rolled a little, turning so that he lay on his damaged left side, facing Dean.

Lust slaked for the moment, Alex studied Dean, seeing new shadows around his eyes, new lines that spoke of pain suffered, and new scars. "So tell me what you've been up to since we battled the sirens," he murmured at last. "I bet you've saved the heck out of people since then."

Dean turned his head, eyes seeming to examine the man next to him. Instantly a lie leapt to mind as he tried to decide just what to tell him. Of course he could say that he'd been road-tripping with his brother - just going around, seeing what kind of bad thing they could kill. However, Alex already knew some of the things from his past. He even knew a little about his dad, just not what had been happening recently.

Dean looked away, suddenly finding the ceiling unaccountably interesting. "Just the usual, hunting things, saving lives. Hooked back up with my brother. He's traveling with me." He still couldn't bring himself to tell Alex about his father. Time, distance, it was still all there between them, even if they were only just an arms length from each other.

Part 14: Tender

Tender is the ghost
The ghost I love the most
Hiding from the sun
Waiting for the night to come
Tender is my heart
For screwing up my life
Lord I need to find
Someone who can heal my mind
"Tender," by Blur

"So there's no room for me now?" Alex spoke softly, the regret in his voice palpable. "I understand, Dean. Too little, too late. Isn't that always the way?" He closed his eyes, suddenly terribly tired and feeling numb. He gazed into Dean's eyes, trying to find the love in them that he thought he'd seen earlier, but seeing only a flat acceptance.

"You're happy then?" he asked. "Tell me you're happy, and I'll let you go."

Dean turned his head to look at Alex, gazing into those eyes. He desperately wanted to tell Alex that what he just said was a bunch of bull and not to give him that crap. Dean was older and wiser, and he'd been hurt too many times, even if the hurts inflicted had not always been intentional. "Unless you can tell us where our father is…" Dean finally said. "I don't think you want to cram yourself into the backseat going from town to town, searching, hoping that we're going to find him." He sighed gently. "I'm a realist, Alex. As much as... You don't want this life. Look at you – you're doing much better for yourself now. You want to be climbing the ladder to success and not traipsing through graveyards with a can of gas and a shaker of salt."

Dean turned on his side, facing Alex, "I'm glad Sam is with me. I... I couldn't look for our father alone. Didn't want to." He sighed again. "You know... you could tell me I'm wrong. That you can fit in the backseat..." He looked down and away and gave a shrug as if putting away the things that he wanted for himself. "Nah... not gonna happen is it?" he finally said, rolling onto his back.

"Are you telling me that you'd rather have that great, hairy Sasquatch thing with you than me?" Alex's lips twitched a little, the smile scornful against himself for even caring. "Why the hell can't he sit in the back seat?" I'd be much more fun to have up front." He moved forward a little, kissing the corner of Dean's mouth. "I'll help you find your father, if that's what you need. I'll even be nice to your brother, although I think I hate him already."

He paused, frowning, knowing that whatever he said wouldn't be enough, but having to try anyway. "I killed someone yesterday, so that I could be with you. I'd do it again, if I thought it would help. Don't just go away and not try to make things work, Dean. I meant what I said. I love you."

Dean gave a laugh, "I know he needs a hair cut but… Sasquatch?" He turned his head to Alex frowning a little at his words, "Why? Why would you do something like that? Did they deserve it?"

"The smoker that had me locked in the silo? He deserved it, trust me." Alex closed his eyes, unable to bear the expression on Dean's face as he looked at him. "He had me thrown into a Tunisian jail. He knew everywhere I'd been, and he hated me. The only reason he didn't kill me is because he'd tried and failed. I think he became a little superstitious about me. He'd have known I was with you, and he'd have taken you. I didn't even want to think about what he could have done to you, so I did what I ought to have done years ago and put an end to him."

The confession made Alex feel suddenly light headed. "Guess that's kinda like when the cat brings you a dead bird and tells you that it did it for you, isn't it? I'm sorry. I should've stayed away. I never could stop hanging round pretty boys."

Dean lay staring up at the ceiling. Alex did it for him? What could he say to that? Thanks, but I can take care of myself. Gee, that's good to know? A list of expressions rattled in and out of his mind 'til it suddenly occurred to him that he would do exactly the same thing for his own family and those he loved, and, yes, he probably would have done just the same thing for Alex if he had known it was needed, if Alex had stayed with him.

"So he was the same man you told me about earlier, when I asked if you'd salted and burned his bones." Dean turned his eyes back onto Alex. "What love makes us do, huh?" He rolled back to his side so he could face Alex once again. "I love you too, Alex. And I do think it's time that you walked away from that life, although I'm… I'm not sure roadtripping with me and my brother, searching for our father, is where you should be. Would you be happy?" He reached out, tracing a finger along Alex's jaw. "I want you to be happy."

"There's not much chance of that," murmured Alex, feeling suddenly cold. "My life, as it stands right now, is completely fucked up. Everything I'veever worked for is going pear shaped, and all I've got left is vengeance..." He frowned. "And you. At least, I thought..."

He stopped talking and lay, eyes fixed on the past, apparently without any hope. Finally, he turned to Dean. "If you don't want me to travel with you, perhaps we could meet from time to time. Maybe, if I came to where you were, we could be together like this, and maybe after a while you'd decide that I was the one you wanted." Alex closed his eyes. "Maybe some day you'll decide that lover is worth more than brother and choose me."

Dean frowned, unable to hide his sadness. Over the years that they'd been apart, Dean had built up defenses – he'd had to. He looked away, hiding the pain in his eyes. "Time to time, like around Christmas or birthdays? Do a little unwrapping of presents. Be a nice surprise." Returning his fierce gaze back to Alex, he snarled, "Am I worth it to you to leave what you're doing? Because vengeance will only get you dead. I know about vengeance. It'll take you over until that's all you can think about." Then I'll be standing over your grave, he thought. "Vengeance, it's not worth dying over."

"I was thinking more like every weekend or something. Christmas and birthdays won't do much to win you over. Fuck! We could both be dead before Christmas, and think of the times we'd have missed out on." Alex smiled just a little. "And I was also thinking more of unwrapping you. You're better than a Christmas present. I like unwrapping you."

His hand stole slowly down over Dean's skin until he could cup and caress his lover's balls. Alex was doing what he always did when faced with any kind of difficulty - resorting to sex to try to prove to Dean that they would be good together. He couldn't think of anything else he had that might appeal to his lover. "I like it best of all when you're unwrapped."

Any distraction for Dean that would mean he didn't have to admit to the feelings boiling up inside him was just fine with him. He didn't like getting emotional, because he was usually the one that ended up getting the raw end of the deal. He turned his head to Alex, a tiny bit of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Got some frequent flyer miles you need to use up, do ya?" He rolled back to cover Alex. "I'm telling you right now, I'm not wearing a bow. I have this fear of paper cuts." Leaning in, Dean's lips seeking out Alex's, giving him wet, sucking kisses that tugged the other man's lips before deepening and growing desperate. Pressing up closer to Alex, he groaned at Alex's touch and closed his eyes.

"You trying to tell me you want another go around?" He stroked a hand down along Alex's back, cupping his ass and pressing them tighter together. "Say pretty please with me on top," he chuckled.

"I was kinda hoping for you to be on top, actually," said Alex, his first real grin appearing for just a moment. "And you'd look fucking beautiful all wrapped in tinsel with a red velvet bow on your dick." He sucked on Dean's lower lip for a moment, his hand still caressing Dean's groin. "I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at you, no matter what you were dressed up in."

More kisses followed, and then Alex pushed Dean onto his back. "I wanna see if you still taste the same, or if the flavor has matured with age." Moving lower down in the bed, Alex pillowed his head on Dean's stomach and leant forward to lick at the head of his cock. "Good. You taste good. I could do this forever," he whispered and began to suck.

Dean gave a little groan as Alex caressed, muttering words through his kiss-swollen lips. Rolling on his back, he wriggled to get into the best position for Alex to manage. He gave a chuckle, pushing his head back into the pillows. "Matured with age... I think maybe my brother would argue with you on that." Dean raised his head, watching Alex move, his cock twitching with anticipation as he felt that hot tongue make its first contact, and Dean couldn't help the shudder that rattled his bones.

"Want you too," Dean admitted as a hand lifted to caress dark hair, shorter than it had been before, much like his own. He closed his eyes, pushing his head back into the pillow as he hissed in a breath. If anything, Alex had improved with age.

Okay, thought Alex. I can build on that. By the time I let him out of here, he's going to be begging me to stay with him. That brother of his can fuck right off to Stanford again. He gripped Dean's hip so hard that he knew there would be marks left on it by the time he was done, and that idea pleased him in a secret place somewhere deep inside. He worked Dean's cock as well as he could, taking it in deep and swallowing around it, pulling up to lick around the tip, tongue teasing the rim as he listened to Dean's little, breathless gasps and his softly muttered obscenities.

"Just think, you could have this every night," he murmured softly.

Dean made a little face as his skin was bruised, but he felt more pleasure than pain, and his mind didn't - couldn't dwell on it, because Alex's mouth wouldn't let him. Managing only softly whispered dirty words, Dean curled blunt nails in Alex's hair and flexed, using every part of what was left of his control to keep from thrusting up into Alex's sweet hot mouth. "Fuck, Alex... I... gawh," Dean used his other hand to tighten in the bedding, twisting it with his fist as he strained, arching his back.

This was the one person in his life who actually wanted him, thought Dean, his chest heaving as he groaned deeply. This was the one person who could make him feel this way, and who wanted to be with him. He knew that he wanted to be with Alex, but he feared he might have to let him go. What was it about his life that had everyone he ever cared about wanting to abandon him?

"That's it, Dean." Alex seemed to know what his lover was thinking, and he lifted his head to blow a gentle breath across the head of Dean's dick. "Let yourself go. You can do that here, with me, you know." He kissed the weeping tip of Dean's cock, licking up the strands of salty liquid that were steadily oozing from it. "You can let me love you; you can relax and give it up."

He sucked his finger and then slid it round under Dean's balls, feeling for the valley between his ass cheeks that concealed the entrance he sought. Working his finger in, he began to suck anew, worshipping Dean, wanting him to know, to take from this encounter the intensity that he was feeling.

Dean heard Alex's words echoing in his hear. You can let me love you. How Dean wanted to do that. Dean loved his family more than he could ever voice or prove. Try as he might, his efforts had never seemed to be noticed. Alex was different. Alex did notice his efforts, and he returned it as well. Dean lifted his head to look at Alex, "Okay," was all he could say. The invasion of fingers was familiar and foreign to him at the same time. Alex was familiar territory for him but yet... not. Dean suddenly let out a little cry and spread his legs in invitation. "Alex, Alex... please..."

The sound of his lover pleading made Alex melt. He wanted to hear it again and again. He pressed in further, listening for Dean's desperate little gasps as he found and caressed his prostate, loving the sound of them. Dean was a thing of beauty, his short hair standing up in spikes, the sweat sheening him, his body shuddering and writhing under Alex's ministrations. His eyes were glazed, pupils dark and wide, and his lips were parted in his flushed face, every muscle rigid as he strained to feel what Alex was doing to him.

"If I made porno flicks, you'd be my star. I've never seen anything quite so hot in my life," murmured Alex, sliding his tongue along the ridge of vein that ran down Dean's cock. "I'm gonna fuck you, and you're gonna come so hard..."

Dean felt as if every nerve in his body was on fire. Every little touch his lover gave him was ten times as intense. Alex's hair brushed his hip, and Dean's fingers caressed that hair before gripping it, pulling it hard, fingers bruising skin as if he was trying to spell something out. Alex's breath on him was causing Dean's stomach to quiver, and his tongue... Dean shivered, then tensed all over again.

"Hard, yes, make it hard," Dean pleaded.

"Trust me, it'll be hard," said Alex, rearing up and reaching for the slick he'd put beside the bed. "Put your legs over my shoulders, baby, that way I don't have to brace myself."

Alex's body was still strong and toned, the deep chest had hard muscle rippling under the smooth, tanned skin. The stump of his arm was like a blasphemy, the beautiful body marred by vandals. Alex felt nervous, allowing Dean to see the sum total of what had happened to him. He gritted his teeth and set about preparing them both for his assault on Dean's ass, slicking himself, pushing slippery fingers into Dean, stroking the lube onto Dean's cock too, until everything glistened. "Ready?" he asked, giving Dean only a second or two to respond before surging forward to enter him. "Oh, fuck, yes. I am, if you aren't!"

Dean was admiring Alex's body, the stump of his arm didn't bother him although he had no idea why. To him, Alex was still the man he'd known, beautiful in so many ways, however, things had to be different now, and he understood that. Raising his legs, placing them upon Alex's shoulders, offered his lover easy access to his body. "God, yes," Dean answered nodding enthusiastically, his whole body itching with need for the other man.

Shit, but Alex was like a drug! A drug he needed to feel good - to feel needed, something that had been lacking in his life. Dean lapped up the attention whenever he could, and right now was one of those times. He gasped and gritted his teeth as Alex pushed inside him. The pain was fleeting, and what came next had him melting. "Alex, if you... you're gonna take up residence in there, are you gonna at least fix the plumbing?" he asked with a hit of a laugh in his voice.

"There's nothing wrong with your plumbing," responded Alex, starting to move, slowly at first, each pull back and slide inside a careful, controlled motion, calculated to make the best use of his cock. Leaning forward, Alex pressed down so that he could kiss Dean's face, bracing himself on his lover's strong thigh.

"Touch yourself, lover. Let me see you work your cock. Let me see you get yourself going." He pressed his tongue into Dean's mouth, swiping it over teeth and palate. "I can't do it and balance at the same time, damn it." He began to speed up his thrusts, finding a rhythm that felt right and biting his lip as the pleasure started to mount.

Dean groaned as Alex moved, his eyes fluttering, almost drifting closed from the sensation. A small curse left him as his body was rocked by Alex's onslaught, the talisman he wore sliding over his chest until it slid off his shoulder and fell back behind his neck. "Shall I sing that song, 'When I think about you, I touch myself'?" Dean chuckled as he squeezed his hand down between pressed legs and bodies.

As Alex came down to kiss, Dean reached up to meet, helping Alex while his own fingers curled around his dick. In a way, Dean had gotten used to that. He'd jacked himself off a lot after Alex had vanished into thin air. His own hand pulled at hardened flesh, working the muscle until the sensations began to flick through him and make him moan. In a way it angered Dean that Alex wasn't able to do this for him. The idiots that had maimed Alex had taken that pleasure from him – from them both. Dean wanted to hurt whoever had done this to him, but at this moment, overwhelmingly, Dean was happy to be with Alex and happy that Alex was here with him.

"Right there," Dean cried out as Alex adjusted his position slightly and hit the exact right spot. "Ohhh, yeah, there."

"You've got it, baby," growled Alex, gritting his teeth and beginning to pound in at the angle that had made Dean cry out. "I want to see you come. I want to see your eyes roll up in your head and know that I was the one who did that to you."

Dean was gorgeous, flushed and panting, his face contorted in a grimace that might have been agony, but was the exact opposite. "Do you know how often I dreamed of this, when I was in the Gulag? And after, when I was in the jail in Tunisia - I kept thinking about you - about how you looked, and the way you felt against my skin that night in the hospital bed, before they took me... I think you're what got me through."

A quick flex of his hips sent a jolt of pleasure through him, and he stopped talking, concentrating on not coming for as long as he could as he gazed down at Dean.

Dean was finding it harder and harder to breath, to suck enough air in his chest without having it forced right back out. He looked up at Alex, not quite sure how to respond to those words. He had missed Alex more than he cared to admit during those first few bleak weeks and months after he had been taken from the hospital.

The expression on Dean's face was one of pure pleasure as he was rocked by the strength of the movements Alex was making, turning his mind to complete mush. He felt as if he was going to become one with Alex, and that was just fine with him. There was more thrusting; Dean moaned and cursed, kissed and bit at his lover 'til it seemed almost painful to hold back any more.

When Dean's release struck him, much like a sledge hammer to his chest, he cried out, unable to hold back the sounds. His cries filled the room, curses following inarticulate sounds that might have been pleas for mercy as he felt himself turning into a helpless pile of goo under his lover, limbs tumbled and body trembling; his chest was now a sticky mess.

Alex watched him through a filmy haze of urgency as his own climax began to tickle through him. He couldn't get enough of Dean, the way he felt, the way he looked, helpless and spasming as he came. It was too much, and he felt himself come apart, his own muscles locking up as he drove in one last time and let his load go, filling Dean as Dean's body pulsed around him, sucking him dry.

"Ahhh, God," he whispered. "You're incredible." There was blood on his lip from where he'd bitten it, and his skin was flushed, the sweat pouring down from his exertions. He released Dean's legs and collapsed onto him, pillowing his head on Dean's shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. "Too fucking good," he growled.

Dean lowered his legs as much as he could without dislodging his lover, wrapping one of his arms around Alex. "Of course I am," Dean smirked a little. He was still trying to catch his breath, but he was also enjoying the weight of Alex upon him. He sighed softly, "God, I missed you," he whispered, looking up at the man as he was caressing him.

"You did?" That was a good thing. Alex felt something tighten and flood warm in his stomach as he listened to Dean's soft words. "Ah, jeez, Dean, what are we going to do? You're chasing after this dad of yours, and you want to be with your brother. How can I fit into that?" A sudden dark suspicion flickered through his eyes. "You and your brother..." He coughed. "Uh... do I have a rival here?"

Dean looked away, sighing as he rubbed Alex's skin. "I don't know. Our dad... he seems like he doesn't want to be found. I don't know. He..." Dean grew silent for a long moment, "Sam and I... haven't since he left for Stanford. We're a fucked up family. You probably think I'm sick." Dean looked away.

"I think you're the one that I want, man. I don't care about your first fling; I just want to be your last." Alex rolled to the side and cuddled up against Dean, laying his head against Dean's shoulder. "You and me - we worked well, that time up in Michigan. We could do it again. Spender isn't going to come grab me back again; I've made sure of that."

Dean looked back at Alex, wrapping an arm around him, "We do work well together." He rubbed his hand up and down Alex's body. "You think you can stand all the traveling? Just us three, going from town to town? Searching for my dad? Hunting things?" Dean shifted uneasily, waiting for Alex to laugh at him and toss him out of the bed on his ass for being so naïve.

"With your bro?" Alex frowned. "Hell, baby, I don't know. How's your brother going to take it, if you introduce me, and suddenly become part of the scenery. Is he going to see me as a rival? Will he fight for you, love? Because if he does, I will fight back; I won't be able to stop myself."

"Of course with Sam. I... I sort of made this promise a long time ago. That I would look out for him. But... I don't know if he would see you as a rival. Sam... He had a girlfriend. She died the same way our mom did. He... he hasn't done anything since – been with anyone. Believe me I tried to get him to... well not with me." He gave a little laugh. "And this is the first time I can ever remember that anyone even bothered to offer to fight for me."

"I'm always gonna fight for you, Dean." Alex didn't say anything else for a moment, contenting himself with lying close to him, idly caressing his soft skin. "I guess that we need to find out what your brother thinks, don't we? If he doesn't like the idea of another person horning in on your twosome, we'll have to think of some other way to get together, but one thing's for sure, man; I ain't giving you up again."

"I don't think it's gonna be a problem," Dean was the outcast. His father had dumped him, and Sam hadn't even wanted to come with him, although in the end he'd had no choice. Hell! Sam had left him the first time; there was no telling when or if he would do the same again. "But you are right, we should talk to Sam." Dean turned, rolling on his side and pulling Alex up against him, lifting his head to rest his chin on the top of Alex's dark locks.

For a little while, they lay, sated and content, and then Alex, who was gently tracing Dean's profile with his forefinger, suddenly asked, "Okay, so what are you working on now? Is there a place for me on the front line?" He lifted his head to gaze into Dean's eyes, trying to read any reluctance to have him along that there might be in the sleepy green gaze. His lips twitched as he waited for Dean's response. "What is it? A werewolf? A ghost? Inquiring minds want to know."

Dean gave a slow blink, content to be silent for a moment, before he gave a shrug of his shoulders, "Don't know what is next. Whatever we can find that needs killing. Sam, he would rather look for our dad, but I don't think dad wants to be found right now. I guess we'll head east, pick up a few newspapers and see what we can find. It's not like we have any leads to go on right now."

"Works for me," husked Alex, yawning hugely. "I can meet the brother, go with you and see what sort of beastie you conjure up. Whatever it is, it's bound to be fun, and maybe, just maybe I won't need to boost anyone's wallet this time."

He closed his eyes and nestled in against Dean. He felt supremely comfortable, content for the first time in living memory. Not only had he slain the villain, he had won back his love, and although the brother still loomed like an obstacle in the path of his future happiness, Alex couldn't help thinking that he could deal with the brother, if he became too annoying. One way or another, Dean was his, and Alex intended to keep him.

Dean wrapped his arms more tightly around Alex, smiling against his skin as Alex yawned. "In the morning," Dean yawned as well, grinning at the infectiousness of the gesture. "That's the one thing about this job. You get to travel, meet such interesting people and it has its perks, but don't turn your back on those skills too soon. The pay is crappy, and I can only hustle so much pool. I've been doing that to keep us going, though I have a feeling Sam would much rather do things the hard way. You know, actually work."

Dean snuggled down more, blissfully tangling his legs with Alex's. "Get some sleep," he whispered as he closed his eyes, not able to stop wondering just how was Sam going to take this... this new arrangement. Would his brother understand?

Part 15: Someone's Listening In

Well of course I'd like to sit around and chat
Well of course I'd like to stay and chew the fat
Well of course I'd like to sit around and chat
But someone's listening in
"Life In A Glass House," by Radiohead

The morning dawned, dull and rainy. Alex had slept better than he ever had since the loss of his arm. He woke in the circle of Dean's embrace, and gave a contented sigh. He couldn't believe that he'd found his lover at last, and that they seemed all set to ride off into the sunset together. He snuggled back against Dean, feeling his lover's warmth against his skin, feeling his lover's cock, piss-proud, pressing against him. His own bladder was full to bursting, but he didn't want to move, knowing that all too soon this little encounter would be over, and they would need to face the outside world - more particularly, they'd need to face the brother. Alex had a suspicion that the brother would be seriously displeased by his presence at Dean's side.

Dean could feel warmth, could smell the scent of another man. His arms tightened as sleep started to leave him. He gave a happy little moan and a smile tugged at his lips. He rubbed Alex's back with one hand and slowly opened his eyes. Damn! He needed to pee, but, much like Alex, he didn't want to get out of the warm bed. Leaning back a little, Dean looked down at the face on the pillow beside him. "Hey, Sunshine," he said softly before rolling onto his back. "I gotta pee." He started to get up but stopped for a second, turning back so he could kiss Alex's nose.

He rolled off the bed and padded into the bathroom. "Sam is probably wondering where I'm at," he called as he used the toilet. He came back out, stretching and then jumped into the bed once more. "Yer turn, I'm gonna call Francis." He started searching for his phone, pulling it out of his discarded jeans and dialed his little brother. When there was no answer, he climbed out of the bed and started to dress, moving towards the door, worry beginning to show on his face.

"Francis? I thought his name was Sam?" Alex stretched drowsily, but then climbed out of the bed to go and empty his own bladder. "He's probably sleeping, don't you think?" Alex reached for Dean. "Come on. Come back to bed. He's a big boy, and he can cope with getting his own breakfast for once, can't he?"

"Just a name I call him, like college boy," Dean mumbled as he started to look for his pants. Sam was his brother. Sam had been his everything 'til Alex had come back into his life, and it was still his job to protect him. "Sam doesn't sleep much. Nightmares. He's usually awake before me."

Alex emerged from the shower and put his arm round Dean's shoulders from behind, kissing along the back of his neck. "Please, baby, come on back to bed. It's chilly out here." He tried to guide Dean back towards the inviting blankets.

Leaning back into him, Dean was more than tempted to just go back to bed as Alex wanted. However, this was his brother. "I need to go check on him." He reluctantly pulled himself away from Alex, bending to put his pants on. "If he's still in bed, I'll come back." Zipping his pants up, Dean kissed Alex and then pulled on first his shirt and then his jacket. "Don't you dare go anywhere." He kissed Alex firmly once again and then turned and headed out to look for his brother.

He turned the corner, going towards the room they'd taken on arrival. He was almost there when he saw Sam crossing the parking lot with two cups of coffee and a bag of donuts. "Sam!" He called out.

"Dean? Where the hell have you been? You didn't come back last night?" Sam used his longs legs to carry him over toward his brother.

Back inside the room, Alex had given a sigh. Fun time was apparently over. Time to face the music. He gazed regretfully at the bed and reached for his clothes, dressing quickly without bothering with his prosthetic arm. Following Dean out, he caught up with him, just as the long streak of nothing he called a brother did. Alex could feel his gut tighten with jealousy as he watched the way that Dean looked at him, and he had to bite back the words that rose to his lips as Sam stared coldly at him.

"You want breakfast, baby?" he asked Dean, ignoring Sam as he stood holding the donuts.

Sam looked suddenly shocked, gazing from one to the other of them, wide eyed. "Dean?" he said, his voice a little high.

Dean gazed back and forth between the two men, mirroring Sam's actions, although he was by no means as wide eyed. "Sam, this is Alex. Alex, Sam, my little brother." He shifted uneasily. "Alex and I know each other from a while back. We met after you left for Stanford." He shot Sam a quelling look, "This breakfast?" He pulled the bag away from his brother's hand and peeked inside. "We should get some more."

"You want donuts, or protein?" Alex slipped his arm around Dean's waist. "C'mon, Dean. Let me buy you a breakfast fit for a growing boy." He studied Sam, sending a message to him that Dean was his, and that Sam was too late. "You too, I guess, if you want. Donuts are okay, but I fancy ham." He lowered his head to whisper into Dean's ear. "I was hoping for sausage, but I guess that's got to wait 'til later, yes?"

Dean reached in the bag, pulling out a donut and took a bite, handing the bag back to Sam, "Yeah, we should get something more to eat. Sammy here needs to keep his strength up too. He's a growing boy as well." He smiled up at Sam. "Let's go, you two," he said, winking back to Alex. "Later, maybe lunch?" He started making for the little diner attached to the hotel they were staying in.

"C'mon you two, shake a leg," he called back.

Sam and Alex glared at each other for a moment before following after Dean, each one deep in his own thoughts. The diner was small, and there were several people eating breakfast. The scents of coffee and bacon assailed their nostrils as they pushed through the doors. Dean moved towards one of the booths, while Sam and Alex eyed each other, each of them determined to sit next to him.

Finally, Sam aimed a saccharine smile at the newcomer and said, sweetly, "I guess you'd better sit beside him, so he can cut your food up for you.

Alex didn't appear to move, but suddenly Sam felt a pricking in the small of his back, and when he looked around, there was a very businesslike knife at his kidney. "I can cut things up for myself, thanks," murmured Alex, lowering his lashes and smirking.

Dean sank himself into the booth, grabbing at a menu. He glanced over to the two, and noticed that they seemed to hesitate a moment before Sam crossed, looking a little pale as he took his place across from his brother. He glanced at Alex, noting that he was getting along fine for someone who lost his arm. "I feel like a big ole stack of flapjacks. And coffee. How about you?" he asked Alex, leaning over to peek at his menu. "This looks good." He pointed at the "Super Trucker Breakfast," and lounged in his seat, crossing his legs at the ankles and stretching them out under the table.

Dean leaned back, stretching his arms out over the back of the seat and addressed Sam. "We should really get some newspapers too, don't you think?"

"Bacon," murmured Alex, looking at the menu. "Bacon and poached eggs, toast and coffee. What about you, Sasqu... uh... Sam?" Alex smiled, long lashes in play again as he laid the menu down. "I'll bet you need a lot of food to keep going."

"I'll go with scrambled egg, sausage and hash browns," said Sam, looking pointedly at Dean and ignoring the man at his side. "And yeah, I can go grab a couple or papers, if you like. Uh..." He looked at Dean and then back to Alex, obviously wanting to know just how much Alex knew, and unable to ask while the man was sitting there.

"He knows, Sammy," Dean knew his brother's looks, all too well. "I'll order your meal." Dean leaned forward to retrieve his wallet and handed a few bills over to Sam. "Here." He gave his little brother a warm smile, knowing it was probably what Sam needed. This moment could get very... uncomfortable if permitted. Dean was determined not to allow it. His two companions were just gonna have to get along, because, damn it, he loved them both, and he wasn't gonna let either of them push the other away.

"I was gonna pick up the tab," murmured Alex, giving Dean a nudge. "My treat." He put his hand over Dean's. "I want to."

He was leaning as close to Dean as he could without actually kissing him, needing Dean to know that he was a little nervous under the scrutiny of his sweetheart's brother.

"You told him what we do?" Sam sounded a little taken aback, but he didn't press the issue, although it was apparent that there were things that Sam would want to talk about the moment they were alone together. "Okay. We're all on the same page then. I'll go grab a few of the local papers."

Dean just looked at Sam and nodded. "Okay, hurry back, before your coffee gets cold... or drank. And no picking up chicks while you're gone." He smirked at Sam before turning back to Alex. "It's just for the papers. You still get to buy breakfast, and we eat a lot." He chuckled. "Ooh, coffee, you are a savior," he said to the waitress who was pouring the cups.

Adjusted himself in the seat, Dean gave Alex a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about Sam. He will grow to like you; trust me. And you'll like him. Especially after he flashes you a couple of those puppy-dog looks of his."

Alex was inclined to doubt that. He'd received some extremely hostile vibes from the long streak of nothing Dean called brother, but if Dean wanted him to make nice anyway, he'd give it his best shot, even though nice wasn't really his strong suit. "Okay, okay! I'll give him a chance, just for you." He put his hand over Dean's again, for a moment, squeezing before letting it go and turning to his coffee.

Their breakfast orders were being placed on the table by the time Sam returned, bearing a stack of newspapers of varying thickness. "Okay, dude, here you go," he said, dumping the pile down on the table in the empty area where a fourth setting would have been. "Food first, and then we can see what's happening out there."

Dean grabbed at his plate when the food arrived, apparently starving. A slice of bacon was half eaten as he reached for a paper. "Hopefully we can find something," he said, mouth full of sausage. He was trying valiantly to stay off the topic that he knew Sam would really want to discuss, their father and finding him.

"Must be a slow news day," Dean tossed the paper back with the others before reaching for another. He offered Alex a slice of his bacon while he dug around in his pockets for a pen. "This looks like something." He circled it and shoved it over toward Sam, his foot bumping his little brother's leg.

"What you got?" Sam grabbed the paper eagerly, shooting a veiled look of triumph at Alex, who merely sat and ate his food, apparently unconcerned. Turning it round so that he could read the article that Dean had circled, he frowned. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. You can't be serious."

Alex was baffled now, wondering what the fuss was about. He didn't have to wait long. Sam started to laugh. "Well, I realize that you just embraced a new lifestyle, but honestly, fairies!" he said.

Dean looked at Sam, his face not showing any humor, "Okay, smart-ass, you find something." He looked away and started eating again, withdrawn now, not responding to Sam, even pulling his leg away so that it was no longer touching his brother.

"Fairies?" Alex had to suppress a smile. "Are they spoiling the milk or what?" He reached for the paper, and Sam, looking a little subdued, handed it over.

"Not exactly," Sam said. indicating the article. "Seems that some teens have gone missing, up in Oklahoma. The legends say that there's a fairy circle, and that the kids were trying to bring the fairies through the gate. Apparently there have been all the signs of fairy infestation since they vanished - cows dying, crops blighted and that kind of thing."

Dean just kept on eating. He figured if he stayed silent, it would force these two knuckle-heads to talk and possibly, God forbid, even get along. Dean was not about to have to make a choice between one or the other; he loved them both. Sam was his brother, but he'd abandoned him - left him with their father, who seemed to see him as merely another tool. Dean had fallen in love with Alex only to lose him once. Alex was precious, a man who'd accepted him without question for who he was.

"So we checking this out, or do you think my judgment will be tainted?" Dean asked finally before returning to his breakfast once more.

"I guess we'd better check it out," nodded Sam. "Are we going to drop him off somewhere?" He gave a nod of his head towards Alex, who was just finishing his food.

Alex turned to look at him, game face firmly in place. "Listen, dude, Dean and I are together. Get used to it," he murmured. "I realize that you're used to considering him your very own punch bag, but all good things come to an end."

"What the fuck does he see in you?" Sam looked furious. "And it's not like you'll be much use in a fight. Can you even fight, or are we going to be protecting you at every turn?"

The smile that crossed Alex's face at that was feral. "Why don't you try me and find out, little brother," he said, voice honeyed. "Any time."

"Knock it off you two," Dean kicked them both under the table. "I'm not dropping him off somewhere, unless he wants me to. And he can take care of himself. He's a good fighter." Dean knew how handy Alex was with a gun. He might have been missing one arm, but it wasn't the one he shot with. "You two remind me of kindergartners, fighting over a toy." He rolled his eyes and would have gotten up and left if he hadn't been effectively trapped by Alex who was sitting on the outside of the booth.

"You," He pointed at Alex, "Sam is my brother, and he's not going anywhere either. Hell, I dragged his college boy ass right back out of college." Dean still felt some guilt about doing so, wondering if maybe Jessica would still be alive if he hadn't, although he knew that if he hadn't Sam might have been dead as well. "You both just need to put up with each other, or I'll... lock both your asses in a closet and not let you out till you start getting along."

Realizing with a sudden shock, that his battle for supremacy with Sam was upsetting his lover, Alex turned to him, contrition written in his green eyes. "Okay, love," he murmured, his rich voice soft and concerned. "I'm sorry. I'll try and behave." He shot a glare at Sam as he spoke. "For you."

"There'd be nothing left of him, if you locked him up somewhere with me," complained Sam, still grumpy as he eyed the usurper. "Why do we have to have him along with us anyway? He's a different style of one-night stand for you, isn't he?" He paused, studying the two of them together. "Does Dad know about him?"

Dean shifted his gaze to Alex and nodded, then turned his attention back to Sam, who didn't seem to want to give up the argument as usual and was still complaining, letting his grumpiness show through. He sighed at Sam then leaned back, wishing he could climb out of the booth and get the hell away. "Yeah, he is. And he isn't a one night stand, Sam. I met him when you left me to go to college, back when dad sent me out on my own to a job. But you know what, it doesn't really matter if he knows or not, he..." Dean clamped his jaw shut.

"Move a minute," he said, starting to push at Alex. "Let me the fuck out of here." He couldn't take it any more. He needed air. He needed to get away before he found himself admitting how he really felt.

Sam looked on, astonished that Dean would actually walk out, as Alex slid out of the bench to let his lover leave. "It'll be okay," Alex husked as Dean pushed past him and watched him as he went.

Turning back to Sam, he frowned. "You don't care who you hurt, do you, you fucking jerk." He indicated Dean with his chin as his lover made his way outside. "I couldn't give a rat's ass about the bitching you're doing, but you're hurting Dean, and I would've thought that you cared about him."

"I... I do care about him," said Sam, outraged that this interloper would even suggest he didn't.

"If you care about him, go tell him, bitch!" Alex rolled his eyes. "And make it convincing. He's your brother, but he's my lover, and I won't have him upset over some diva who thinks everything's all about them."

Sam flushed, then turned pale, his chin jutting as his anger rose. Abruptly he rose to his feet and stomped off in pursuit of Dean, leaving Alex smiling at the table. Jauntily, he gestured for the check and sat smiling as he gave the two brothers time for their little tete a tete.

Part 16: Ain't Afraid of the Shadows

I ain't superstitious,

When a black cat crosses my path.
And, I ain't superstitious,
As I break the looking glass.
Ain't afraid of no demons,
Don't make me laugh!
I ain't superstitious,
Under the ladder I go.
I ain't superstitious,
It's all bulls**t, don't you know!
Ain't afraid of the shadows,
I like the dark anyway, and that's a fact!
"Life In A Glass House," by Radiohead

Outside, Sam had found Dean leaning up against his car, brooding.

"Dean? Dean, I'm sorry."

Dean had his arms crossed, the distress on his face evident as people passed him by on their way into the diner. Green eyes stared at his watch, seeing anything but the time. He didn't even raise his head when Sam came out; it wasn't till his brother spoke that he stirred.

Dean pushed away from the car with a graceful motion, dropping his hands, he looked past Sam to see if Alex was coming. "Yeah, whatever. Is Alex paying for the check? He did say he was buying." He turned away, digging in his pockets for his keys.

"Yeah, guess so." There was silence between the two of them, then Sam said, "He told me to come say I was sorry. He didn't follow me or anything, so I guess we're good." He studied Dean's closed face, wondering what was going through his mind. "Look, Dean, you have to admit that this is a new departure for you, isn't it? Who is he? Why did you trust him? I thought you were into girls...?"

Dean pulled his keys out and just looked at Sam. "You don't know, do you? You've never even cared to get to know me. The whole world revolved around you. Didn't matter what was going on around you." He looked down at his keys then back to Sam. "You wanna know why I trusted him? Because I found him in a silo, scared, dirty, needing protection. And I took care of him. The fucking sad thing about that is, at first I did it because, well because I saw you in him. Those same puppy dog eyes you used to give me. That same pleading voice that just..." Dean looked away. "But I fell in love with him. I fell in love with him because he loved me for me. He was the first person that didn't abandon me. Didn't push me away. That actually gave a rats ass what I thought. What I wanted. Me. Not himself. Me." He gave a shrug of his shoulders, "It's all I ever wanted. From you. From dad. But you two..." He shook his head, "It was always about you two."

There was a long pause. Sam really didn't know what to say, how to answer his brother. All he could concentrate on were those words of his. 'I fell in love with him.' Dean loved this knife-wielding smartass with the green eyes and the missing arm, and at the end of everything, Sam adored his brother and wanted him to be happy.

"I didn't know," he said, softly. "You really love him, eh?"

Dean looked down, fiddling with his keys, "I do love him." He mumbled the words out with a nod, "But I love you too, Sam." Looking up at his little brother, Dean's eyes showed the meaning behind his words. "And I'm not going to choose between you two, if that is what you are expecting. I'd rather be unhappy than hurt either of you."

"Jeez, Dean, it's been so long that it was just us. I don't even know how to share you with anyone else." Sam smiled sadly. "Guess I have to, don't I?" He hugged himself as if he were trying to come to terms with an entirely new idea and finding it difficult. "Okay, I'll give it a try. I can't say that I'm going to find it easy, but I'll try." He was about to go back to the diner to summon Alex, when the door opened, and the one armed man appeared in the doorway, face schooled into a polite mask.

"A thought occurs," said Sam quickly as Alex started walking over towards them. "Does Dad know? Are you going to tell him? I'd like to be a fly on the wall when you have that conversation."

Dean knew he should reassure Sam that he was his brother, his first love. He would always love him because blood bound them together, but Sam had hurt him so many times in the past as had his father. So he swallowed the words back, keeping them to himself. Instead he sighed through his nose and lifted his head until he could look at Alex.

He murmured words to himself, not really caring if they were heard or not, and met Sam's eyes, a bland expression on his face. "What difference would it make? Just another disappointment for him, because let's face it, I'm not you and therefore not perfect." He pulled the door open as he spoke, the creaking of it covering up most of what he said. "Get in the car you two," he growled as he turned the motor over, getting ready to put it into gear.

Sam looked stricken as he got into the car, as usual sitting in shotgun position. He didn't make any further move to comment on Dean's last words, but they left him looking very thoughtful indeed.

Alex was cheerful as he hopped into the back seat and passed Dean a cardboard cup of coffee. "I didn't think you'd had quite enough, so I brought you this in case," he said, smiling fondly at his lover. "Let's go find the fairies, shall we?" He settled himself back against the upholstery and prepared to enjoy the scenery as they hit the road.

Dean couldn't bring himself to look at Sam as he heard the two car doors shut. They were solid thumps of metal to old metal closing them in symbolically. Dean was backing the car out as Alex passed the coffee forward, and he smiled, glancing at his lover in the rear view mirror. "Thanks. Still remember how I took it?" he asked, putting the car into drive before taking a sip. Alex had indeed remembered. Dean had to give him a warm smile.

"We'll stop by our rooms first, get our stuff and go," he commented, heading back towards the motel to make that stop. It wasn't long before the car was loaded down with his and Sam's bags along with additional ones from Alex.

Northern California was soon left behind, and Alex dozed as the car ate up the miles on their way to Kingfisher, Oklahoma. The driving was shared between Sam and Dean, neither thinking that a one armed man could handle the vehicle, much to Alex's disgust. It was late afternoon on the third day when they finally arrived where they were going and checked into a motel.

Alex was tired, his back kinked from lack of exercise, and he wondered if Dean would stay with Sam that night, or come to his bed.

Dean was stretching his back, working the kinks out after he'd tossed his bag onto one of the beds. He was mentally bemoaning the fact that there wasn't a room with three beds, although he could have asked for one to be brought in. Instead, he'd settled for two rooms again because he couldn't quite bring himself to trust the two loves of his life to be in the same room. And that was yet another thing to pity himself over.

"Hey, Sammy, why don't you check the internet see what you can come up with on fairies, I'm gonna go check on Alex, see how he is settling in." He pulled open the door and paused, looking back at his brother. Sam seemed to be ignoring him at the moment, so he headed out, making the short trek to the room next door. With a quick tap upon the door, Dean walked in.

"Hey you one armed bandit," he said with loving affection in his tone, "How you feeling?" He closed the door behind him, gazing at his green eyed lover, a teasing smile on his face.

"Horny," murmured Alex, looking up and smiling as Dean appeared. "How're you doing?" He rose to his feet and sauntered over to push Dean back against the door and capture his mouth in a long, sweet kiss. "I'm sorry about the altercation with your baby brother, love," he murmured against Dean's lips. "I promise not to rise to the bait again. Want me to come round to your room and bond, or do you want us to stay separated for the sake of your sanity?"

Dean stepped back, hands reaching behind him to feel for the door. Once he'd come into contact with it, his arms rose around Alex, and he opened his mouth to return the kiss with one that was just as sweet, just as lazy and long. He moaned softly as Alex pulled back, gazing with half closed eyes at his lover. He raised his hand to brush through Alex's hair and gave a chuckle, "Sanity, right!"

Alex laughed and took Dean by the hand, leading him over to the bed and patting it invitingly as he sat down. "If anyone ever told me that I'd be playing third wheel to a pair of brothers out fairy hunting, and enjoy it, I think I'd have shot them, but my babushka used to tell me about the fairies around Lake Baikal, where she came from. She said that they would come out at night and dance by the lake, and I believed her, 'til I grew too cynical." He smiled at Dean and nudged him. "Then I realized that I was one myself!"

Dean followed Alex over, sitting next to him. Now Alex had really piqued his interest, and he shifted, folding a bent leg under him to face Alex more easily. "Really, what else did she say about them? I should get Sam to look up that lake. You know really... Fairies are not something I know about. Zombies, werewolves, shape shifters, strigas... I can handle. Every time I think of a fairy, I think of Tinkerbelle. Damn, I always wished she was bigger." He smirked at Alex and waggled his eyebrows.

"I don't know if Russia has the same kind of fairies as Oklahoma," said Alex. "I know about the striga - we have those back in the old country, but I'm not sure about fairies. They apparently take a liking to a mortal from time to time and lead the mortal away, bemuse them and keep them until they tire of them. I know that for every year they are with the fairies, seven years pass by on earth, so when they come back all that they knew has changed, and they've been forgotten." He scratched his chin as he thought. "And they dance in a ring, so if you fall asleep in a fairy ring the fairies will claim service from you." Shrugging, he smiled at Dean. "That's pretty much what I know."

Dean had sat the whole time just watching Alex's lips move and how his lashes closed over his eyes when he blinked, how those little lines at the corner of his eyes would appear when he smiled. Watching Alex, to Dean, was like watching a train wreck - he knew it was gonna be bad but he just couldn't look away.

"Yeah, I know about strigas - too much so," he mumbled, looking up at Alex, wondering if he would ever tell this man about the things he'd seen. "Well, I guess we should head over to the computer and see what we can dig up. That is unless you're too horny to go?" Dean smirked as he stood up.

"You want a little something to take the edge off, baby?" asked Alex, voice husky, "...or is the knowledge that tonight I'm gonna screw you until you think that my name is Jesus Christ something you want to anticipate?"

Alex smirked. "Personally, I kinda like the idea of you anticipating. You should see yourself when you get horny. Your eyes glaze over and you radiate sex. If I could bottle that and sell it, I'd be a fucking millionaire." He rose to his feet and pulled Dean to him, kissing him hard. "So I vote for unrequited passion, and give you time to think about the things I'm gonna do to you, when you and I get into bed tonight."

Dean raised his eyebrows, looking at Alex. He swallowed as his body tingled from the mere thought of Alex doing just that. God but the man could twist up his insides almost as badly as Sam. Dean closed his eyes for a moment, and he seemed to have that look when he opened them back up. Kissing Alex, he let a bit of his hunger show through.

Dean sighed softly, nodding at him, "Okay, I know you are a glutton for punishment," he smirked as he ran a hand down Alex's back, "But don't think I'll make it easy for you. You gonna make me wait, I'm gonna make it so you can't." He leaned in to kiss Alex again, but before their lips could meet, Dean pulled back, winked then turned and pulled open the door.

Dean sauntered his way over to the next room, opening the door and smelling coffee brewing. Damn but Sam knew his weakness for coffee; he knew – none better - that having coffee ready could make Dean smile and more. "You're brewing my song, little bro." Dean walked over, smacking Sam on his butt as he grabbed a cup to pour himself some coffee. "So what are we finding on the computer besides porn?"

"Got some reports about the teens that disappeared," said Sam, turning the laptop to face his brother. "They were all messing with sèances and stuff, Dean. Looks like they summoned up something that they shouldn't. One of the kids reappeared a couple of days later, but he doesn't seem to remember anything about the day they all disappeared."

"You got any addresses?" Alex was the one speaking. "Maybe the kids kept diaries or blogs or something. If we can run those to earth, we might be able to find out more."

Sam hadn't thought about blogs, although he did have the home addresses, after hacking into the high school computer. Reluctantly he nodded at Alex. "Good thought," he said, turning the computer round again and starting to type.

Dean was sipping his coffee, watching his brother work his magic on the computer. "I think we should pay the kid a visit, maybe talk to his other friends. He may not be willing to talk to us, though I'm sure once you flash him those puppy dog eyes of yours, Sammy, he will sing like a bird. He might have told one of his friends about what happened though, and if he has a blog or whatever, if we can get into it, there might be something there."

Dean looked over to Alex, "Proud of you, window licker." He ruffled Alex's hair with a smile, "Gonna make a hunter out of you yet." He gave a chuckle as Alex batted at his hand. Glancing at his watch, he grinned. "Okay, it's still early enough. Maybe we should head around town, find the local hangout and see what we can pick up? Wha'dya say boys, wanna go cruising?"

~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~

Part 17: I'll Wait 'Til You Get Here

and i'll wait
i'm fine here i could wait
i'll wait till you get here
just be the start
i have always known you were
perfect sound
you're perfectly clear
from here
"Out/In," by Remy Zero

The bar they picked was packed with youngsters, most of whom seemed to be there for the live band that was setting up at one end of the bar on a low stage. As usual, Dean had zeroed in on a pretty girl dressed in tight clothing, and Sam seemed content to sit nursing a beer and watching people, his ever present laptop open and booted. Alex leaned on the bar close to Dean and fixed the bartender with a smile. "Busy tonight," he remarked.

"Every Friday we have a live band. Usually more people in than this - some of the students aren't in tonight; guess that they're still in shock over the stuff that happened up at the caves." The bartender seemed inclined to chat, busily polishing glasses as he talked.

"Oh? What happened up at the caves? I'm from out of town. Was there an accident or something?" Alex sipped beer from the bottle and tried to appear as if the news was fresh.

"Four boys and two girls just vanished, like it was a magic trick." It was plain that the bartender was enjoying imparting the news, so Alex gave him a suitably shocked reaction. "My God, how on earth could that happen?"

"They were messing around, summoning the devil or something." The bartender frowned, breathed on the glass he was polishing and buffed it with his cloth again. "Mark my words, nothing good ever comes of that. I've seen The Exorcist. You don't want to be fooling around with that sort of thing. The others are all still in shock."

"Others?" asked Alex, raising an eyebrow and looking suitably fascinated. "Tell me about the others."

Dean was making suitable conversation with the young thing, flirting and laughing, drawing little bits of information from her as he went. The girl was smiling, laughing along with him and touching him, moving bit by bit closer to him. With the air of a master, Dean played her, sipping his drink from time to time and leaning in close to whisper in her ear. After a while she got up to go to the bathroom, and Dean turned on his stool, shifting his gaze to Alex and the bartender. He had gotten the location of the caves from her, knowing they would eventually have to go up and see them for themselves.

Taking a sip of his beer, he started listening more intently to the conversation between Alex and the bartender. The papers hadn't said anything about others being involved, but that didn't surprise him, it just made Dean think that maybe they needed to get Sam to hack into the police computers to find out what that report really said.

Alex moved back so that his thigh was pressed against Dean's. It was at moments like this that he lamented the loss of his left arm. He'd have given almost anything to be able to reach between Dean's thighs and cop a surreptitious feel. As it was, he could only turn slightly so that his prosthetic arm lay against him and remember days gone by when he could have done more.

"You think that the kids were really doing devil worship? What makes you say that?" Alex was gazing at the bartender as if fascinated. "Were they doing orgies and stuff?"

"Worse," said the man behind the bar, pushing another beer over the counter as he spoke. "Someone told me they killed a cat or something like that, just for a sacrifice."

Dean shifted a bit, to intensify the contact between them and to get a better ear on the conversation. "Sounds like that Blair Witch movie," he commented, "Let me guess, trip went wrong, and the other kids can't remember? You have any idea why they would do such a thing? I mean come on," Dean gave the bartender a skeptical look.

"That's what they say," said the man, shrugging. "They're lying to protect themselves; that's what I think."

"How many of them?" Alex shot Dean a cheeky glance and allowed his prosthetic arm to drift up along Dean's thigh. "They okay? I mean apart from the memory loss? No virgins deflowered or anything like that?"

The bartender was about to give his opinion on the probability of virgins in the twelfth grade, when someone summoned him to get them a drink. Alex turned to Dean. "What do you think?" he asked.

Dean shook his head, "Sounds like to me a bunch of high school kids sitting around watching bad B-flicks. They got drunk and high, decided to carry out the movie action and got carried away. We won't know till we go out there and look for ourselves, will we? I guess there's an outside chance that it could also be a Wending," he added, shifting around so he could face Alex. "And if you keep your arm where it's at, I'm just gonna have to either find a booth for us and push you under it, or a clean enough bathroom stall. Or maybe I should just leave you to let your imagination go wild." Dean smirked and pulled away, heading toward the table where Sam was sitting.

"Trust me, baby, I've got a very fertile imagination," said Alex, chuckling as he aimed a slap at Dean's behind. "And I fully intend to use it. You're gonna be putty in my hands by the time we get to bed."

Sam looked up as his brother came across. "Do you know that the kids were apparently holding some sort of sabbat? There were thirteen of them, and they killed a cat. This is really nasty, Dean. I don't know if we should go in without protection."

Dean sat down beside Sam giving a nod, "I got some condoms, would that help?" He gave Sam a serious look before smiling again. "Okay, so what kind of protection do we need? Angelica root? Purple candles? What? Because all this is sounding more and more like a bad movie to me, and not like something really supernatural. I mean the worst that I can think of is that they ran into a Wendigo rather than a bunch of fairies," he said, smirking.

"They sure as anything disappeared, and now the surrounding area is starting to send in reports of milk being turned sour, and cows dying. There are fairy rings appearing close to town, especially around this cave. I think we should at least check it out."

Alex had come to stand behind Dean while he was listening to Sam, and now stood pressed firmly up against his lover. "You two want any more beer?" he asked, sliding his hand surreptitiously under Dean's jacket to fondle his chest. "My round."

"No thanks," said Sam, actually smiling. "I'm on a roll here, and I want to be able to read the screen. I'm just reading some very interesting information about the kids that were left behind. They're all left handed. Weird, huh?"

Dean frowned as he was thinking, leaning back in his chair and feeling Alex behind him. "Think the cows saw something they didn't like? Because I hear if you scare a cow, its milk turns sour, it's no longer any good." He gave a short laugh. "But yeah, you're right, Sammy, we should check it out. I think the sooner the better. You guys up for a little trip?" Dean looked back at Alex, raising his eyes to meet his lover's as he placed a hand over the one that Alex had resting on his chest.

"Come on, take a little trip to the caves, play with the little girl fairies out there," he smirked, winking at Sam, his leg bumping him under the table. "But why all left handed?"

"According to legend," said Sam, "Left handed folks were able to defend themselves against fairy beguilements. Fairies apparently hypnotize you into thinking they're the most beautiful things ever." He gave a toothy grin. "Alex better take care. He sure as heck ain't left handed."

"Clever! Wish I'd thought of that," growled Alex. "Your brother has a rare talent, love. If wit were shit, he'd be constipated."

Dean nudged Alex, "Behave," he whispered. "Okay, so if the kids were all left handed, why didn't they help the others get away? Being left handed they should have been able to fight them off right? That's what you are saying?" Frowning, Dean shook his head. "Whatever, we should be on our guard, because something isn't right here."

Dean pushed back to his feet, throwing some money on the table. "You think we should take a mirror or something? Would that help?" he asked his little brother as they left the bar. "Or will dangling you with your puppy dog eyes work just as well? Maybe you can hypnotize them." He gave Sam a snide grin.

"Oh, fuck off!" Sam shut down his laptop as Dean and Alex were filing out of the bar, and by the time he had finished, the other two were in the car, leaving the back seat for Sam.

"Okay, let's go see the fairies," said Alex, smiling. "And really, it's a good job we aren't in San Francisco. They have a whole bunch of scary ones around there."

"Takes one to know one," murmured Sam, and then as Alex burst out laughing, he did too. "Okay. That was pretty childish of me, sorry."

As Dean let in the clutch and pulled the car away, Alex was turning to smirk at Sam. "You were at Stanford, weren't you? I bet you know all about the fairies in those parts," he said, and Sam threw a balled up paper at him.

Dean was glad in a way he was driving and wondered if this was how his father had felt when he and Sam had been kids doing the same thing. He whistled between his teeth and concentrated on his driving, hoping that his two companions would settle. Fortunately they showed no further signs of bickering, and the rest of the drive was completed in companionable silence.

Getting out to the area where the cave was located wasn't so difficult. Once the car was parked, they found that they would have to walk into the woods for some distance. Dean clambered out and walked around to the trunk, opening the secret compartment and propping it open with one of the shotguns. "Okay, Sammy, what shall we take with us? Guns?" He of course was gonna carry one. Alex should have his own, this time. "Do we need salt to sprinkle on their little wings to keep them from flying?"

"Wouldn't hurt to carry holy water," murmured Sam, considering. "And herbs they do not like are St. Johns wort, red verbena, daisies, rowan or mountain ash, although the strongest plant against them is the four-leaf clover, which protects against fairy glamour. Have we got any four-leaf clover?" He poked around in the trunk until he found a little box labeled 'herbs.' "Mmm... No. Damn. Fairies don't like cold-iron much. A horseshoe or two would help."

There was a pause, and Alex vanished into the wood as Sam was speaking. He returned a couple of minutes later, carrying several branches that bore feathery leaves and red berries. "Here," he murmured. "Mountain Ash."

Dean was digging around as well. He could have sworn he'd had one or two four leafed clovers in the trunk. "You know how hard those things are to find? I swear I had some in here..." he grumbled, banging his head on the trunk as Alex came trotting back. "Well look at you," Dean smiled, then leaned over and gave Alex a quick kiss. "I knew you weren't the daisy type," he smirked, taking the branch Alex offered him. "Do we need the whole thing or just the leaves? What do we do with it, wave it around?"

Dean figured most people would be feeling really silly doing what they were doing, but not them. They knew what kind of effect these apparently random things would have. And yes, it did seem silly in a way, but if their precautions worked and kept them alive, Dean would be good with that. Dragging the items they needed out, he closed the trunk and handed a gun over to Alex. "Here, you will need this; it's got the right ammo." He looked at his two companions and smiled grimly. "Well, let's go, boys." Turning, Dean was the first to trek off into the woods, leading the way.

Alex paused to check the gun, popping out the clip and inspecting it before putting it back and moving out behind Dean. Sam watched him with a quizzical look on his face, and Alex turned to look at him. "What? You don't check the weapon, if you weren't the one that loaded it? That's pretty damned stupid, if you ask me."

"Yeah, well, I trust my brother, and I didn't ask you." Sam was frowning as he pushed past Alex, striding through the woods after Dean. After a moment, Alex shrugged his shoulders and followed him, tucking the rowan sprig into his pocket as he went.

Dean picked his way through the woods, pushing aside tree branches. He stepped over a log, ducked under a branch till he came to the area where the teens had apparently been doing their little kill-the-cat gathering. He stopped to look about himself, searching for any signs of... he had no clue, but guessed that he should be alert for anything and everything. Throwing open his arms, Dean slapped them to his side again in frustration, "Don't see any fairies here. No little Tinkerbelles flying about." He kicked at a rock before turning back to Sam and Alex.

"I guess that's because it's still broad daylight," murmured Sam, smirking. "According to legend, the door to fairyland opens at dusk and closes when the cock crows three times."

"Did he just say 'fairyland' with a straight face?" asked Alex. "I wish I'd had a video camera for it."

Dean smirked, "You'll get used to it after a while. Sammy's a star! I don't think even I could say that with a straight face, let allow that bit about the cock crowing three times." Dean smacked Sam's back as he walked around him, looking about them suspiciously.

"I'm serious." Sam sat down on a large rock. "I read a whole bunch of stuff about it, before we left the bar. Fairyland is apparently in another dimension."

"Did it say what you do to get into fairyland?" asked Alex, unsuccessfully masking a grin.

"Yeah, actually. You go widdershins around the portal three times and call on the fairies." Sam flashed Dean a smile of complicity. "Like this, see."

He began to walk around the rock he'd been sitting on, going anti-clockwise. As he returned for the third time to stand before them, he yelled, "Okay fairies. Come and get me..."

And vanished.

Dean had been looking around, only turning his head to catch Sam's little grin. "Fairies. Still gives me the giggles just to say that." He kicked at a broken twig and turned, just as Sam was yelling. But then Sam was gone.

Dean's heart stopped that very moment. "Sam?" He blinked a few time before rushing over, "SAMMY?" He screamed, looking about wildly in an effort to locate his brother. "SAMMY!? Can you hear me! SAM!"

Dean turned around, drawing his gun, looking rather desperate, his free hand waving in the air. "BRING MY BROTHER BACK!" Dean shouted in an apparently frantic state. "SAM? SAMM!?" Dean looked at Alex, his chest rising and falling in panic and anguish.

"Hey!" Alex was at his side in an instant, arm outstretched to comfort Dean. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay, Dean." He hugged Dean for a moment, noting the tension in his lover's shoulders and feeling his heart sink a little at the knowledge that the tall, gangly kid brother earned so much concern from him. "Don't worry about it, baby. All we have to do is copy what Sam did, and we'll follow him. You want to do that?"

Dean pushed Alex back, the comforting doing little to calm the fear in him. "Don't, just don't. Sam is all I have," he snapped at Alex, looking about wildly. Alex stepped back, allowing Dean some space, and after a few deep breaths, Dean gave a nod. "Yeah, yeah." He drew his gun. "What did he do? Counter clockwise he said?" However Dean didn't move right away. His face set in a stone cold expression, and he looked away from Alex as he started walking around the rock three times. "Okay fairies," His voice was as cold as his face. "Come and get me."

"Jesus, wait!" Alex tore after Dean, grabbed at his hand as Dean shouted his challenge, and saw Dean melt away to nothing in a fraction of a second.

"You wanna make it three?" yelled Alex, waiting to dissolve. Nothing happened. "Fuck!" The expletive was ripped from him as he stood in front of the rock feeling all too solid. "Come and get me, fairies." And there was no response, not even derisive laughter.

Alex took a deep breath and stood looking at the rock. It looked like a perfectly ordinary rock to him, and he glared at it as if he could somehow transform it with the power of his gaze. Doggedly he plodded around the thing three times and then called out to the fairies once more, but nothing happened. The sudden realization that he'd lost Dean - and his big, stupid brother too - hit Alex, and he felt a coldness in the pit of his stomach. "Come on, guys. Come back."

There was nothing, and he was out of ideas. Miserable, he sat down on the offending rock to wait and see what happened.

Part 18: Don't Look Behind

Try as you might you try to give it up
Seems to be holding on fast
It's hand in your hand
A shadow over you
A beggar for soul in your face
Still it don't matter if you won't listen
If you won't let it follow you
You just need to heal
Make good all your lies
Move on and don't look behind
"Sleep," by Poets of the Fall

Minutes, hours ticked by with no sign of the two brothers. Alex was left in the cold dark with silence as his only companion. Within the circle, the leaves didn't move. There were no chirping birds, no insects, nothing moved. It was like those moments directors strive for in their movies, but this one was real. Alex paced. From time to time he circled and called, but the gate remained obstinately closed. In the end he sank down on the rock and buried his face in his hands.

It was full dark when something finally happened. There was a rushing of wind and a sound as if a harp was being played. Alex started up, and suddenly Dean appeared, looking battered. Within his arms he held his brother, Sam. Dean's face showed only worry as he held his brother in his arms. Ignoring Alex, he turned and started walking, towards the thick brush on his way back to the car.

"Dean?" Alex watched him go, waited for him to say something, and when there was only silence, he felt the cold bite of certainty as he suddenly realized just how much more Dean cared for his brother than for him. The knowledge that Spender, in taking him from the hospital all those years ago, had not only robbed him of his love of the moment, but also any chance he had of really finding future happiness.

"Too late," he growled, voice hoarse with the sorrow he wouldn't voice. "You should've been mine, but I'm too fucking late, and long, lean and loathsome there is gonna win." He kicked at the rock that was the gateway, and was about to turn and follow Dean, when there was a shimmering, a sound like a silenced pistol, and a creature materialized, standing on it.

Alex's first impression was of a white faced, white haired man of a height even greater than Sam Winchester's. The man was slender, with whipcord muscles that were exposed by the sleeveless leather jerkin he wore. The creature's long white hair was held back in braids, and his ears were long and pointed. His eyes were red and glowed like jewels in a face that wore the most arrogant expression Alex had ever seen.

"Stand back!" said the being. "You will not impede me. They must be caught."

"The fuck...?" Alex drew his gun. "You'll have to get past me first."

Dean's head turned when he heard the voice. He set Sam down then reached behind him, drawing his gun. "Over my dead body are you gonna take my brother," Dean snarled. "You aren't taking anyone any more." He raised the gun he was holding tight in his grip. "You are just gonna have to live with letting us go." An idea was forming in his mind, but he stayed beside Sam, not risking moving away from his brother.

Alex had his gun out as well, and was warily watching the tall, pale warrior. The creature bore a large broadsword, and appeared to be prepared to use it. It grimaced at Alex and raised the sword as it ran towards him. Alex, an incredulous smirk on his face, sidestepped and fired at the thing's shoulder as it passed.

There was a scream, and the creature halted, dropping the sword and staggering back as the black blood began to stain his jerkin. "What have you done, damaged one? How has this happened?"

"I shot you," said Alex. "That one was just a warning, but the next one will kill you."

Dean moved a bit closer, "Wrought iron! That can kill you." He kept his gun trained on the newcomer. "Now I suggest you get the hell out of here, or I'll make sure you never see the Sugar Plum Fairy ever again." There was snarl to his tone and lips.

"What happened back there?" Alex frowned. "And why couldn't I get in the way you went?"

Eyes fixed on the creature, gun leveled, Dean didn't move a muscle as he waited for it to do something that would give him an excuse to fire. The pale warrior looked scornfully at Dean before it started to reach for the sword. As it did so, Dean fired, striking it in the head. Its eyes went wide for a moment before life slipped from it.

Lowering his arm, Dean crossed over to where the thing lay. "Keep an eye on Sam? Get him back to the car." He tossed Alex the keys as he grabbed the creature and began to drag it back into the center of the circle. "I gotta take care of something." He grabbed the light body and began to circle the portal, performing the same ritual he had earlier, before he vanished with the creature once again.

Only a couple of minutes passed, but there was time enough for Alex to growl out his displeasure, shrug his shoulders and drag Sam back to the car. When Dean finally returned, he found himself alone in the circle. He bent and took the rock, rolling it out of position as much as he could, with great effort. He stood there breathing hard for a moment, before trekking back through the woods toward the car.

Sam Winchester was heavy. His inert weight was enough that Alex had great difficulty getting the unconscious man back along the trail to where the Impala was parked. He was just dumping his burden down on the back seat of the vehicle when Dean made his appearance.

He'd considered quietly putting Sam out of his misery. The look Dean had given him, and his reaction when Sam had disappeared had told their own tale, and it wasn't one that Alex had wanted to hear. He had been very close to smothering the lanky young man, before discarding the notion, purely because the death of his brother would hurt Dean so utterly, and Alex just couldn't bring himself to do that. Sighing, he turned back to wait for Dean, and smiled wryly as he appeared from out of the trees.

"What the hell happened? What did you do in there?" he asked.

Dean picked his way back, bursting from the trees. He climbed up the embankment and stopped before Alex. "I told them to leave this world alone or I will do to all of them what I did to their friend." He moved around Alex to check on Sam. His brother was still out cold, but he seemed okay otherwise. Shrugging slightly, Dean folded Sam up carefully before closing the back door.

"Thanks for taking care of Sam," Dean offered up as he held his hands out for his keys. "Unfortunately, the other kids..." Shaking his head, he took the keys, just looking at them for a long moment before drawing a breath and starting to move around the car. "We'd better hit the road back. Need to get him into a warm bed."

"Wait..." Alex followed, caught at Dean's shoulder and spun him. "Talk to me, love. Tell me what happened? Tell me where the other kids are? What happened to Sam?" He touched Dean's cheek, his thumb stroking over a bruise that he hadn't seen before. "I would've come after you, but the gate didn't work."

He paused for a moment, unsure if he should say something, or simply suffer in silence. Finally, looking away, he said softly. "It's him, isn't it? It'll always be him for you. Why don't you just let yourself love him? He wants you too, you know."

Dean was tense, and the spin caught him off guard somewhat, but this was his lover; this was Alex and not some creature trying to harm them. Dean sighed, "The other kids won't be coming back, ever." How could he explain what had happened? Especially when he didn't want to. Nausea rose within him as he pictured the terrible scenes he'd witnessed beyond the portal.

Glancing down, Dean frowned and then returned his gaze to Alex, "He's my brother, Alex. He's always come first." Dean wanted to back away. He had always been uncomfortable in this type of situation, admitting things. "Sam has always… he's always been there, even when dad wasn't. And when he left for college..." Dean looked away, recalling the pain he'd suffered at the loss. "I was ditched by both of them you know." He turned so that he was looking out of the corners of his eyes at Alex, "I thought at one time you'd dumped me too, you know. I went and dragged Sammy from school because I didn't want to look for my dad on my own. I could have, I just didn't want to."

Shoulders sagging, Dean leaned back against his car. "It's always gonna be the wrong place, wrong time for us. I'm sorry, Alex. My brother will always come first. So will my dad, because they are all I have left." He paused for a long moment, looking down at his keys. "But I do love you," he murmured at last, and the words came out a near whisper.

"I love you too, so much you'll never know." Alex could feel the moisture in the back of his eyes building, clogging his thoughts along with his eyes. "But it's not gonna work for us, now, is it?"

He cupped Dean's cheek, leant forward, kissed his lips, a bruising kiss with no finesse to it, everything he felt, everything he wanted to say encapsulated in his desperate touch. "Tonight, Dean? Can I at least have tonight, before I give you back to him? We'll have a proper date, and I can pretend that we're going to live happily ever after." Alex shook his head. "God, listen to me. I sound like a total girl!"

Dean felt his heart tighten. It was also getting harder for him to breathe, and the kiss that had bruised his lips didn't make catching his breath any easier - indeed, it stole his breath away. Dean had raised his hand to clasp Alex's elbow, his own green eyes gazing into a second, identical set. "You know, chick-flick moments aren't half as bad with you," he joked. "Dinner and a show... I think I can handle that." He nodded. "Tonight is all yours."

Dean paused a moment longer and then surged in, kissing Alex deeply as he tried to steal the man's breath away and finding he'd done it to himself too.

"Let's get sleeping beauty back," he whispered, not wanting to part even though Sam did need to be cared for.

Turning to look at the slumped, rangy figure in the back seat, Alex studied him, trying to see what it was that Dean preferred to him. Sam had a narrow, triangular face, intelligent when waking, but now as the man lay unconscious all traces of his personality were lost. What remained were the sensual mouth and tip-tilted eyes that peeped from beneath his shock of unruly hair. The man was pretty enough, although the mirror told Alex that he was better looking by far, and he was at a loss to account for Dean's evident preference.

He sighed as he got into the car beside Dean and turned to him, aware that his face was reflecting the helpless love he felt. "So tell me about him. He's cute enough, but what makes you love him, Dean? What is it that makes him the one?"

Dean glanced over to Alex as he started the car, placing it in drive before his foot weighed down on the gas. He stared out of the window for a moment, musing. "He's my brother. He is what makes... I don't know, I can't explain it." He sighed. "He's been the one constant in my life... or he always was 'til he left for school." He continued to look out of his window, scowling as he avoided Alex's gaze. "But he's... he's not the one. I don't think there is a 'one' for me. Even you have..." Dean trailed off.

"Go on," said Alex, looking a little anxious as he waited for Dean to tell him how he'd failed. "You know I'd give anything for you to want me more than him. Tell me what I did wrong. Tell me how I can get it right."

"You have that other guy, Alex." Dean spoke very softly, "Mulder." He was sure that he'd recalled the name correctly. "He is your Sam." He turned to look a challenge at Alex.

"You're kidding me, aren't you?" Alex frowned at Dean. "I don't love Mulder. Fuck, I arranged for him to be abducted by the aliens he wanted to meet. That was pretty ironic, don't you think?" He gave Dean a long hard look. "I think that's an excuse. I think you're pushing me away, because it's scary to be happy, isn't it?"

Dean looked away from Alex again. "Don't you usually hurt the ones you love the most?" He was feeling somewhat uncomfortable, really wanting to tell Alex, 'okay, dude, believe what you want,' but this was Alex, and for Dean, that meant he was not just anyone, he was a man he loved, and that fact made him special. Dean wouldn't lie to him. "What are you gonna do when he comes back? Alex, you're gonna be pulled away from me, aren't you? I'm not gonna stop what I'm doing, and I don't think you are either. So this is where we are."

"I don't wanna hurt you, and I would happily never see Mulder again, if you and I were together." Alex sighed, then stopped. "But you want him more. I get it. It's okay, love. I guess I'm just sore because you've made your choice, and it wasn't me." Reaching to squeeze Dean's arm, Alex closed his eyes for a moment, working at putting on the game face he'd used for every terrible event that had ever happened to him. It was hard to find the peace he needed to present bland indifference, but he thought he was doing very well, and then Sam moaned from where he was in the back seat, and instantly, Dean twitched, and Alex's hard won calm was gone in favor of a longing so fierce he thought that he would die of it. He was considering blowing Sam's brains out, when Dean stopped the car and turned to ask Alex to help him get his brother into the motel room.

Between them, they removed Sam's outer clothing and managed to get him into bed. "There you go, little bro," Dean whispered as he tucked him in, much as he used to when they were younger. Once Sam was taken care of, Dean glanced over at Alex, able to read the pain he was radiating. He crossed to him, standing off to his side, chest to shoulder. "It's not okay," he whispered. "I love you, Alex, but Sam is my brother. He will always be first. You both, you want me to make a choice, and I can't."

"Will he be okay?" Alex looked at the pale, sleeping form of Sam Winchester, and frowned. Turning to Dean, Alex put his arm around him and leaned his cheek against Dean's. "He looks awful. What the hell happened to him, anyway? How can we fix him for you?"

Sam hadn't stirred even once since he'd been carried out through the portal by his brother, and Alex was still trying to discover what had happened while they were inside. Now he stood holding Dean and feeling the worry coming off his lover in waves. "Shouldn't we take him to a hospital or something?" he asked.

Dean stared down at his brother, his hand going over Alex's as they looked at his brother. "I don't know how to fix him," Dean whispered. He moved over to Sam. "Sammy," he sat down by his brother's head, lifting it into his lap. His hand patted Sam's cheek absently. "SAM!" He called, forcefully. There was no response. Sam was breathing; he just wasn't moving.

"What happened to him, Dean? Did those fairy guys cast some weird spell on him? Do you have any kind of idea how to break a fairy's spell?" Alex was frowning. He could see their date going out of the window, if he had to keep Dean company while he fretted over Sam. It seemed as though he had no choice. Smiling gently at Dean and putting his arm around him, Alex gave him a swift hug. "Okay. Break out the computer. You look after him, and I'll check out how to break fairy spells. There's got to be something. If not, we'll have to find a witch or something."

Dean sighed then motioned to Sam's messenger bag, "Laptop is over there. See if foxglove will work. I think I have some in the trunk. It's good for changelings, but it might work for breaking spells too. It's well known as an ingredient of witch's brew." Dean leaned down to listen to Sam's breathing, whispering, "Hold on, little brother. I'll get you out of this." He patted Sam's cheek again as he got up, moving over to Alex to lean over his shoulder. Yes, he was still avoiding the question Alex had asked.

"Whoo, whoo, go back," Dean started reading a particular article, leaning in closer to press up against Alex, breathing on his neck and ear as he became engrossed, eyes narrowed as he was reading.

"The four leaf clover seems to be the most potent defense against fairy magic - that and cold iron laid against his forehead. I don't know where we're gonna get a clover from, but the cold iron should be easy." Alex raised an eyebrow at Dean. "You used to have wrought iron bullets, didn't you? I remember we took them with us when we fought that siren."

He was suddenly conscious of Dean's proximity. A little shiver went through him, and he turned his head to capture his lover's mouth, kissing him gently, stroking his tongue over Dean's lush lips and slowly, slowly pressing in between them to taste him.

Dean returned Alex's kiss, leaning in to deepen the kiss before he pulled away, lips moist from the loving caress. "I know I had a clover or two in the trunk. I'm gonna go look. The gun you have has wrought iron bullets in it. Try that and see if it works." He headed for the door, stepping out to search his trunk once again.

Dean ransacked the trunk, moving nearly every item in there, but eventually he found it, tucked in a little, clear packet. "Got you, you little bastard!" he yelled, then slammed the trunk shut and ran back to the door to burst back into the room. "Got it! Knew I had one."

While Dean had been gone, Alex had pulled his gun and popped the clip. Now he was ejecting the bullets to set out on Sam. He'd surveyed the young giant's sleeping form, and decided that to lay the iron on his skin would mean removing Sam's T-shirt. He tugged, pulling the garment up over Sam's head and raising his arms up so that it would come off easily and finally got the thing off him, tossing it onto the floor with a curse. "That's not an easy workout for a man with only one arm," he grumbled as Dean returned, bearing his clover leaf in triumph.

Sam lay passive; no sign of life save for the regular rise and fall of his chest. Placing a bullet against the skin of Sam's chest above his heart, Alex reached to brush the shaggy hair from his forehead so that he could lay the second bullet there. "Okay, dude, best put the leaf somewhere. The site didn't specify, just said you should have one somewhere."

Dean pulled it out of the packet carefully then looked about before he placed it upon Sam's chest just below the bullet, right over his heart. He glanced at Alex and then stepped back, waiting to see what would happen. He wondered if there was some kind of chant that they should say, but of course, he had never been the one who was good at those things.

There was no immediate, visible difference in Sam's appearance. Alex turned to Dean, ready to comfort him when he needed it, and so he missed the first twitches of Sam's body. It was only when Dean's facial expression suddenly transformed from unhappy to ecstatic that he realized that something had changed. He turned back to the bed to see Sam's eyes open as he blinked owlishly, looking confused.

"I know that this is a real clichè, but where am I?" Sam asked.

Part 19: Golden Dreams of My Yesterday

If I had those golden dreams of my yesterday
I would wrap you in the heavens
And feel it dyin all the way
I feel like makin' love
"Feel Like Makin' Love," by Bad Company

Dean dropped down beside Sam, "Hey, Sammy, how you feeling?" he asked, removing the bullets from his brother's skin, picking up the clover and placing it back in its packet. He held it up for Sam to see. "Told you I had one," he said, tucking it away in his pocket. "You're back at the room. You're safe now." Dean handed the rounds back to Alex and smirked as he turned back to Sam once more. "It was close. It was hard to tell you apart from all the other fairies."

Alex busied himself, popping the rounds back into the clip and reloading his pistol. He viewed Sam with mixed feelings. It was good that he was awake, because it meant that he and Dean could go on the date that he'd hoped for and have a good evening without Dean worrying about Sam all the time, but at the same time, Sam was real competition, and he didn't believe he had it in him to beat the young giant out in any tussle for Dean's affections. He intended to use the forthcoming evening to try and lobby for Dean's love, but in his heart he knew, just from watching the way that Dean looked at Sam, that it wasn't going to work.

"Guess it takes one to know one, Tinkerbelle!" murmured Sam, flashing his wide, white smile back at his brother. "Thanks for pulling me out of there, dude. I thought I was gonna be in the pot, simmering nicely."

"Lucky I got there before they added the onions and carrots, or I might have been waiting in line for a bowl," He ruffled Sam's hair. "Here." he reached for the night stand, getting some water for Sam, "Drink." He helped to lift Sam's head, watching him drink before setting him back down on the pillow. "You should get some more rest." He got up and went over to a bag to pull out a can of salt. Starting to spread it along the windows and create a semi-circle in front of the threshold.

Dean returned and looked at his brother, "You should get some more rest, Sammy," he murmured, moving over to pull the covers up over his brother's shoulders.

"I guess." Sam struggled up onto his elbow to take the water and smiled up at his brother. "I feel kinda weird - wobbly, like I don't weigh anything. It's kinda like when you take LSD or something..." He paused, then gave the gleam of a smile. "Or so I'm told, because I wouldn't do anything like that!"

"Yeah, sure he wouldn't." Alex's lips twitched as he watched the tenderness between the two brothers, and a little pang went through him again as he realized anew that there was no place for him in the love that was so obvious between the two of them. "I think he'd have looked really cute with an apple in his mouth," he added. "Although he looks pretty cute without."

"Yeah," said Sam, wryly. "That's me! Glamor personified."

"Apple or no apple, you need to rest." Dean glanced back to Alex, who was looking away. "Get some sleep, Sammy," Dean spoke softly as he leaned down to tuck him in, the way he always had when they were little. "Alex and I need to talk for a while." He pulled back and stood smiling down at his brother. "Now don't you go anywhere, or I will hunt you down and kick your ass." He winked at Sam before moving around to where Alex was standing. "Come on, you green-eyed monster," he said as guided Alex toward the door.

Dean stopped for a moment, looking back at Sam as he held up the room key. "I'm taking this with me, locking you in. Sleep, Sammy, you hear me?" He closed the door behind him and locked it, then turned around to face his lover. "Now about this date…?"

"Yeah, the date," murmured Alex. "You still up for it?" He cupped Dean's cheek and ran his thumb over the fullness of Dean's lower lip. "God, Dean, I can't believe how gorgeous you are. Okay, let's go get ready, and then we're gonna find a halfway decent restaurant and have dinner together, and then I'm gonna seduce you, make love to you and drive the worry out of your eyes."

He leaned forward to kiss his lover and then took his hand to lead him back to the room where he'd been staying. "How does that sound to you?" he asked.

Dean didn't move as he gazed into Alex's eyes, feeling that thumb slide over his lips then followed Alex as he went into the room where he'd stashed his things. "You gonna make me wear a monkey suit?" he asked. Dean stepped into Alex's room, pulled off his jacket and threw it onto Alex's bed, but his mind kept wandering back to Sam. He hoped he could keep his mind from doing that too much. He suddenly realized his bag was back in the room with Sammy. Of course, he did have another bag in the trunk, as was his suit. He'd make do.

"I'll be right back." Dean went to get his suit jacket and a clean shirt with a tie, returning to change while Alex was using the bathroom. He left his jeans on but put on his shirt and tie, adding the jacket. He'd never dressed up for Alex like this so he was sure the man was probably gonna fall over when he saw him.

As Alex came out of the bedroom and saw Dean, he felt himself getting hard. "Oh, baby," he mumbled, stalking over to him and standing, looking at him, totally lost for words. Finally, he gave a little moan and leant in to kiss him softly. "You clean up real nice," he whispered. "I don't think I ever saw anyone that looked as good as you do."

He pulled away, a crooked smile on his face. "We'd better go out, or I'll be throwing you down and ravishing you, which will be fun, but you won't get your dinner, and that'll make a bad impression. Time enough to ravish you later, yeah?"

Raising an eyebrow Dean turned back to Alex and gave a little shrug, "Really?" He leaned in to kiss Alex, keeping it slow and deep and then pulling back. He gave a nod, and then chuckled, "Well then we better..." He began to head for the door and then stopped, "Oh, we should..." He shook his head. "Oh, never mind."

This night was to be just between him and Alex, and Dean knew that Alex would get upset, if he mentioned they should pick something up for Sam. He made a mental note to get something for Sam later. He didn't think his brother would want anything at the moment anyway.

Noting Dean's hesitation, Alex paused, knowing that it would be something to do with Sam that was bothering his sweetheart. He moved in closer. "You want to check on him, love?" he asked. "Something's eating you, I can tell." He moved up behind Dean, crowding him, running his lips over Dean's ear and down to the place where his collar prevented him from going any lower. "Baby, I've got you. It's all right. Do what you've got to do, because I love you whatever you do."

Dean closed his eyes. He'd always been the one who took care of everyone, and it was hard for him to let anyone take care of him, even his father or someone older than him, like Alex, but it did feel good to hear Alex's words. They made Dean lean back against him, loving the fact that there was someone out there who was willing to put him first for a change.

"No, I know he is okay," murmured Dean, turning around so he could nip at Alex's jaw. "I was just thinking we should bring something back for him to eat." He stared at Alex for a long time. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for putting me first." Pulling his keys out, he smiled, making for the Impala and going around the driver's side. "Let's go."

The restaurant wasn't fancy, but the food was good. They'd both ordered steak and potatoes, and Dean had even managed to get something to go for Sam which was now sitting at the table in a brown bag while the two of them enjoyed their beers. They'd chatted of this and that - how to take out this spirit or that supernatural being, and Dean had told Alex about his first kill, back when he was only 16.

Dean now sat back, staring at his companion, watching those long lashes close over green eyes and loving the way his drink would glisten upon his lips, before he licked it away. Dean really wanted to pull the man across to him and kiss him deeply, to inhale his scent up close and personal rather than from across a table. But then Sam drifted back into his mind, and his father. He suddenly felt guilty for enjoying himself. He looked down, examining the end of his tie.

"You want a liqueur or something, Dean?" Alex looked up from his own drink and smiled at Dean, admiring the way he looked, wishing that he could stay in this moment for the rest of time. "Dessert? Anything?"

He could see that Dean was having some kind of unwelcome thought, and he felt his body go cold, wondering what was bothering him. Reaching out to take Dean's hand, he frowned a little. "What is it, love? Tell me? I hate to see you get upset when you ought to be having a good time and forgetting the bad stuff - at least for the evening."

Dean started to feel even worse, "Nothing, it's nothing," he forced a smile, and then shook his head, "Nah, I'm good, but I won't stop you. Indulge." He nodded at Alex as he looked down at their linked hands. He turned his hand over, lifting his eyes to Alex then smiled. "What do you say we get out of here, and go back to the room, huh?"

"Good call." Alex was itching to get his hands on Dean, to pet him and love him the way he longed to. "Before we do, there was something I wanted to give you, Dean." The one armed man gestured for the check and then handed the waiter his credit card with a smile. "The name on the card is Valery Arntzen," he said to Dean with a smile. "I've never forgotten that... or you."

Dean gave a smile, remembering how, when they first met, Alex had told him his name was Val. Dean hadn't forgotten Alex either, although Sam and his father had been the only constants in his life. So to hear that from Alex almost brought a blush to his cheeks, and he averted his face, hoping that he wouldn't let that show.

Clearing his throat, Alex gazed at Dean, green eyes meeting green, and yearning for something he knew was more than he could ever have. "I don't have very much that I care about, and I wanted to give you something meaningful... So here." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little packet, which he handed across the table to Dean. "Keep it and know that it was almost as precious to me as you are."

Dean wore a little frown as Alex seemed to get serious, wondering what the other man was leading up to. "Alex you don't..." He stared at the packet before picking it up and then glanced at Alex as he opened it up. His eyebrows went up when he saw the contents. Pulling out the silver ring, he lifted his head to look at Alex. "Alex... I," he paused, looking at the ring he remembered so well. "I can't accept this? This is yours." Holding it up, he gazed at it again, then back at Alex, seeing by his expression that Alex truly meant for him to have it. "Is this to remind me of you?" He asked, seriously. "Of what we could be?"

"If you like." Alex gave Dean a lop-sided smile. "It's everything and nothing, and it would give me pleasure to see you wear it for me. It's just something I wanted you to have, because you're precious to me, Dean." He spread his fingers. "I dunno. Maybe I'm just stupid. Maybe it won't even fit on your finger. You don't have to have it. I'd just love it, if you did."

Dean turned the ring over in his fingers while gazing at Alex before he raised his hand and slipped it onto a finger. It fit perfectly and he gazed at it. "You used to wear this all the time; I remember." He lifted his eyebrows at Alex, the question unspoken between them.

"Yeah. It was my dad's," said Alex, his eyes suspiciously bright as he watched Dean. "Like I said, there aren't many things that I own that are precious to me, and that was the one most precious thing. It seemed right to give it to the person who's most precious to me."

The waiter reappeared with the check for Alex's signature and Alex scrawled on it, repocketed his credit card and rose to his feet. "Shall we get out of here?" he murmured, wishing he could put his arm around Dean, knowing he didn't dare tie up his one good arm and hating what had happened to him more than ever before. "I want to take you to bed and make you see god. You up for that?"

"Your father's?" Dean blinked a few times as he glanced to the ring again. He twisted it upon his fingers and swallowed hard as the emotion that Dean hated to show almost overwhelmed him. "I never..." he cut himself off. "Yeah, lets." Dean pushed up from his seat, walking out beside Alex, and when they reached the car to get in, Dean suddenly grabbed Alex and jerked him across the seat, so he could kiss him hard and deep. "Let me drop this food off for Sammy, and then I'm all yours."

He drove them back to the motel, where he parted from Alex to drop the food off to his little brother. He checked on Sam who was still asleep and left him a note, telling him the dinner was for him and not to overheat it in the microwave. He then left the car keys there and headed back out to meet Alex.

Dean went to the room door but didn't enter right away. He couldn't stop himself staring at the ring he'd been given, twisting it upon his finger. He wasn't going to ever take it off. Though he had yet to really say it to him, Alex was very special to him - he was really the first person he'd said, 'I love you,' to who hadn't hurt him almost as soon as the words had been out of his mouth. It was starting to feel as if he loved Alex as much as his brother and father.

Pushing open the door to the room at last, he called out, "Honey, I'm home," and smiled.

Alex had taken off his jacket and tie, and was busily turning down the blankets on the bed. As Dean entered, Alex lifted his head and smiled back at him, a smile wider even than Sam's. "Welcome home," he whispered, straightening up and leaving the bed behind as he walked forward into Dean's arms. "I don't think I've ever felt this vulnerable before," he said softly. "You and I, Dean. You and me together. You're all I can see. You've gotten to me like nobody else ever did."

He slid his hand around Dean's neck and pulled him forward so he could brush his lips against Dean's, parting them slightly so that he could nibble against the softness of his lover's lush mouth.

Slowly, slowly, he deepened the caress, lips pressing more firmly, parting Dean's so that he could explore further, breathing more deeply and pressing more closely. "You smell wonderful, baby," he murmured, inhaling the fragrance of Dean's cologne and beneath it Dean's own sweet scent. "You're perfect; you know that?"

Dean found he couldn't move, not under those eyes nor the caresses that grew deeper and deeper the longer their lips teased and pressed together. He wrapped his arms around Alex, holding them together before pulling away momentarily to allow lungs that were burning to fill with air. "I'm not perfect, Xander," he breathed, then kissed him again, "But you make me feel... like I almost could be."

Taking Alex's hand, Dean guided him over to the bed and made him sit down. Lowering himself down beside Alex, Dean leaned in, kissing at his lover's neck. "You make me feel special. Make me feel, important and...Alex, I told you this once before, a long time ago, but I still feel the same as I did then. I love you, Alex," he leaned in, kissing the man deeply, "You are the only one that truly makes me feel this way," he whispered against Alex's lips.

"I hope I always can." The words had brought the tears to Alex's eyes, and he was staring, eyes wide in an attempt to dry them without them spilling over to run down his cheeks. "And you're gonna have me drummed out of the triple agents' club, if you don't stop getting to my cold, black heart." The grin as he spoke was a mere flicker over his face before he surged in and crushed Dean against him. "We triple agents and stone killers don't like to admit that some young hottie has stolen our heart. We like to pretend we don't have a heart.

Dean smiled, "I think it's time you retired from that, I like your heart like this," Dean leaned back suggestively and licked his lips..

Pushing him backwards onto the bed, Alex kissed him, kissed him again, bringing his hand up to loosen Dean's tie and begin work on the shirt button beneath it. Skilled at one handed work, the shirt was soon unbuttoned, and Alex pushed it off Dean's shoulders and the jacket with it, leaving only the tie around his neck. "I'd love if you'd put your jacket back on," he whispered. "You're a wet dream. Jesus!"

While Alex had been working on his clothing, Dean had Alex's shirt open and pulled from his pants so he was able to touch hot smooth skin. He could tell how fast Alex's heart was beating. How hot his skin was, and Dean wanted more. He smiled between kisses, moaning softly as he pulled back, loving the way that Alex was touching him.

With a lick of his lips, he looked down at his jacket then reached down for it and shrugged back into it, posing. "Like this?" he asked, smirking, and then grabbed Alex, whipping him around to land him on his back on the bed so he was leaning over him. Intense green eyes gazed down into another, equally beautiful pair as he straddled his lover. "I could use my tie to keep you still as I have my savage way with you but..." He leaned down kissing Alex once more, this time gently. "I think you are the wet dream. God, you can kiss. You wanna be on top or shall I?" he asked with a naughty grin.

"I gotta confess, things are easier if I'm underneath, these days," Alex said, wistfully. "I wish it wasn't so, but for the one-armed man, the balance thing is really easy to lose." He reached up and grabbed Dean by the tie, tugging him down to kiss him again, mouth open and sloppy, tongue licking along his teeth as he moaned into his lover's mouth. "So you go on top, and I'll be totally dominated!"

He was hard, Dean's body pressing down on his was enough to get him up and ready, and now his cock was straining against his underwear. "Let's get naked," he whispered against Dean's lips. "I want to feel you all the way along my skin. I want something that'll keep me in fantasies for as long as I need it. I want you, Dean."

Dean gave a chuckle as he leaned over Alex, body resting between the man's legs. His hips rubbed against Alex's, feeling the bulge in his pants and rubbing his own against it so that they became more and more excited. "I have to agree with that," he agreed. Dean pushed himself up off the bed for a moment, taking his jacket back off. He pulled his tie loose, tossing it aside and then turned back to work on making Alex's clothing disappear.

All the while he was pulling Alex's shirt off, Dean was kissing the man's body, shoulder, neck, chest, leaving wet trails and lip prints over too-heated skin. Once his upper body was bare, Dean pressed back down, letting flesh touch flesh. Dean could have sworn their hearts were beating the same crazy rhythm. He rocked his hips into Alex, rubbing their cocks against each other. "Damn, you're ready, aren't you. Let's see how ready, huh?" Sitting back once again, Dean returned to his self appointed task of getting Alex naked, working on his pants this time.

"You know what? I'm ready whenever I even think about you, let alone see you." Alex arched into Dean's touch, smiling as he watched his lover unfastening his pants for him. "I know that I'm not much of a catch these days, but, god, Dean, you're so beautiful; you could have anyone you wanted." You can have me, but do you want me? Alex lifted his butt as Dean dragged his trousers down over his thighs, allowing his cock to spring free. "See what I mean? Mr. Spikey down there can't think of anyone else but you, either."

Alex reached to run his fingers along the ridges that marked out Dean's abdominal muscles and then strayed down to the waistband of his jeans. "And how about yours? Is it feeling the pinch, confined in there the way it is? Let him come out and play." He unzipped Dean's jeans as he was speaking and reached in to find and pull Dean's cock free. "There, better."

Tossing Alex's pants aside carelessly, Dean lifted his head. "But I want you," Dean answered as he ran a hand over Alex's stiff flesh. He gave a moan as it twitched under his hand and then chuckled at Alex's words. "Mr. Spikey?" he asked, grinning. He dropped down beside Alex, rubbing him over and over as Alex fought to rid Dean of his jeans. He couldn't help his hips jumping as Alex finally fought him free of the denim and then curled his hand around Dean's cock. He moaned, leaning in to kiss his lover's neck before rolling to his side, lifting his hips and pulling his jeans the rest of the way off.

Naked at last, Dean returned his attention to Alex, rolling over to kiss him deeply as the hand that wasn't supporting his own body began caressing and exploring Alex's. Fingers took in and mapped both beauty and imperfection as they explored, relearning the body under him. Dean's lips trailed kisses along his jaw, nipping it hard before placing kisses to his shoulder. Dean's hand had ventured down to caress over Alex's cock, feeling the moisture that welled from the tip and noting how hard he was, how ready it felt under his stroking hand. "Mr. Spikey needs a little attention I think."

Moving so that he was between Alex's legs, Dean gazed up at him with a wicked little look in his eyes. His tongue slowly swiped over the hard flesh, painting each side, flat licking the crown of it and tonguing the rim. Taking his time so he could enjoy the full flavor of his lover, Dean's lips parted, and he took Alex's cock into his mouth, sucking at him, sliding him against his tongue 'til he was able to take him in almost to the base.

Looking down at Dean made something low in Alex's belly tighten, gave him the sensation that small creatures were fluttering inside him, made everything feel heavy and liquid as his eyes made love to his young lover. Even though he knew that he was going to lose Dean to Sam sooner or later, he couldn't help fighting for him, wanting him, and never more than right this moment as their eyes met, and Dean's pretty mouth surrounded his cock.

"You do that so well," Alex said, leaving unspoken the thought that Dean had obviously been practicing. "Do you have any idea just how much I've dreamed of this, with you? We could be good together, you and I couldn't we?" He'd promised himself that he wouldn't beg, wouldn't plead, but here he was now, unable to help himself as he exposed his soul to his lover. "Dean, I don't want to lose you. Tell me how we can live happily ever after. I mean, dammit, we've just come out of a fucking fairy tale, so how could we not?"

He reached down to touch Dean, feeling the warmth of his lover's gently freckled skin under his fingers and shuddering as Dean's tongue worked on his cock. "All I ever wanted, you are," he mumbled.

After a while, Dean could feel Alex getting close, and pulled away, crawling quickly up his lover's body to kiss him deeply. He moaned into Alex's mouth, reaching to pull one of his legs around him as he drew slowly back from the kiss. "You're not gonna lose me. Just stay with me. Stay with me and Sam. Don't go back to wherever it is that keeps taking you from me. I'll protect you. I won't let you out of my sight." Dean had never meant anything more as he gazed down at his lover.

"I'm not gonna let those bastards take you from me again," Dean whispered. He kiss Alex again, savagely this time. "Just stay, Xander, Stay with me." He repeated the kiss, "Sam will grow to like you just as much as I do. And you will him. Just stay, don't leave me," Dean rocked his hips into Alex so their cocks rubbed, smearing pre-cum from both of them upon him before drawing back so he could use his hand to guide his cock down to Alex's back entrance.

"Just promise me you will?" He bit Alex's bottom lip as he applied pressure to that ass he'd missed for so long. He felt it give, and he let out a cry as his crown sank into Alex. Then he was pushing his way into his lover, struggling to go deeper, harder, more. "Christ, Xander," he moaned, dropping his head down onto Alex's shoulder, in his attempts to still his own body from trembling.

And this was home, this was everything Alex had ever wanted, all rolled into one. Dean's voice, soft and smoky, purred in his ear, sending little shivers through him; Dean's arms were around him, holding him against a body that thrummed with need for him. Dean's lips were demanding on his, kissing, sucking, sharing their breath and claiming him in a way that he'd needed since forever.

He wrapped himself around Dean, eyes wide, drinking in the sight of him, loving the dusting of freckles that frosted his tanned skin, feeling his insides melt when his lover's huge, thickly lashed green eyes settled on his, seeming to see so deep inside him that there was nowhere he could hide.

He couldn't get enough of Dean, the sight of him, the scent, the taste and most especially the feel of smooth, taut skin on his, moist mouth skimming his flesh and heated cock pressing inexorably into him, deep and insistent until he was filled so completely that he no longer knew where he ended and Dean began.

"I promise," he whispered, more to himself than to Dean. "I don't want to leave you. I want to set up residence in your pocket, because I don't think I could bear to let you go again. Not now I've finally found you again."

Dean moaned again. His cock was buried deep inside his lover, and he had to stop, wait, resting for a moment, before he started moving his hips to bring them both the pleasure they'd experienced only a few times in each other's arms before. He remembered how intense it was going to be, and he craved it. "Then don't. Don't leave." He kissed Alex deeply as if he could use the kiss to hold them together forever.

Driving his hips home at last, Dean shifted his body just enough so he could reach down between them and grasp Alex's cock in his hand. With Alex only having one arm, it was left up to him to make this as wonderful as possible. Fingers curled, grasping and pumping, his thumb pushing up along the V and smearing pre-cum over the crown. "Christ, you are fucking gorgeous, Xander." Lips clung again. Dean knew he wasn't going to last long - not like this. All he wanted was to know that Alex wasn't going to leave him – to know that he would be with the two people he loved. Hell! All he needed would be his father, and his world would be perfect.

Perfect.

Everything seemed so simple to Alex right now. All he needed - all he thought he'd ever need - was right here in this bed. He could deal with the brother, wanted to, in fact, if that meant that he could have this, be with Dean for the long haul.

He moaned, because Dean's cock was skittering over his most sensitive parts, and his hand was jerking him close to ecstasy, and he drove his head back into the pillows, teeth sunk into his lower lip to keep himself from crying out. He didn't have words to tell Dean just how far beyond beautiful he was to him, but his wordless whimpers and desperate face told it all.

And when he couldn't hold back any more, he came, shuddering into Dean's hand.

Dean turned his head, looking down their bodies as he felt Alex release over his hand, making their movements that much more slippery and triple x rated. Dean thought this was absolutely wonderful, such a perfect moment that he raised his head and kissed Alex deeply, "I love you, Xander," he moaned before pushing up to grab at Alex's hips.

Holding on tightly, he drove into Alex, strong, fast and hard, 'til at last he couldn't hold back any longer, and his head fell back as he released with a shudder and a tightening of muscles. His teeth were clenched to hold back a cry, but his feelings were clear upon his face as he arched his back and then dropped back over his lover. Tracing over Alex's soft skin with his mouth, he licked sweat from his lover's neck and up to his lips, where their lips sought each other and clung. "Now this, I missed a lot." Dean smiled softly.

Pulling from him so his weight wouldn't crush him, Dean let Alex lower his legs and dropped down beside him, allowing their breathing to calm down. "I think it gets better and better each time. How the hell do you do it?" Dean turned his head to Alex with a smirk.

"Me? I just lie back and think of Martians and let you do all the work," snickered Alex. "You young uns have so much energy that I see no reason to compete!" He reached to cup Dean's cheek and hold his face while he kissed him, smiling tenderly into his lover's eyes. "You're right though; it does get better and better. If it gets any better than that, I suspect that it'll kill me!"

He rolled onto his back once more, smiling as he stretched his arm over his head. "I think that this is the time I miss my arm the most. It's making me crazy, thinking of all the things I want to do to you, but I can't, because I'm missing an arm."

The corner of Dean's eyes crinkled from the smile that graced his lips. He rolled to his side, looking at Alex with a little frown. "I know it does, and I wish there was something we could do, but who knows what we will run into. But I love you just the way you are. Any way you are." And the kiss that they shared then was soft, tender, a promise of love to come as they built a life together.

Part 20: An Itch Too Sensitive to Scratch

Can you imagine that,

an itch too sensitive to scratch
the light that falls through the cracks
an insect too delicate to catch
I hear the endless murmur
every blade of grass that shivers in the breeze
and the sound that comes to carry me
across the land and over the sea
And I can't look up
fingers of love move down
and I can't look back
fingers of love move down
"Fingers of Love," by Crowded House

"Now you stay here, I'm gonna go get cleaned up." Dean gave Alex a quick kiss before rolling off the bed and heading into the bathroom. Moments later, he emerged with a warm, wet towel, cleaning off his lover before dropping back down beside him. "I'm gonna have to go check on Sammy soon. You know we should go sleep in that room; there is another bed. We can share and still be able to keep an eye on him. You wanna go with me?"

If the truth were told, Alex wasn't sure if he could even get up out of this bed, and he really didn't want to be sharing a bed with the delectable Dean under the watchful eye of his baby brother, but he smiled and nodded, his heart melting all over again as he gazed at Dean's sweet face. "Sure, baby," he murmured. "Course, I don't know if I'll be able to keep my hands off you, so I hope that your Sammy's a heavy sleeper."

He rolled onto his left shoulder and lounged there, looking down at Dean. "You're so fucking gorgeous," he murmured. "I'm the luckiest spy that ever came in from the cold." Bending, he kissed his way along Dean's arm to his shoulder and then buried his face in the warmth of his neck, inhaling the scent of his lover. "For you, I will even sleep with your Sam as an audience."

Dean wrapped his arm around Alex, his hand rubbing up and over his back before sliding into the self-styled triple agent's thick dark locks. His hair was shorter than Sam's and darker but, even so, it felt wonderful between his fingers. He pulled Alex closer, wanting to explain a little. "You see, Sammy, he has a lot of nightmares. He rarely gets much sleep these days. Not since his girlfriend's death." He sighed softly then kissed Alex's forehead, "And I'm not sure how Sammy would take being an audience, but we'll never know 'til we ask." He chuckled, rolling to end up on top of Alex, kissing him deeply and then started to get out of the bed. "Let's get over there, babe."

Getting to his feet, Dean handed Alex his clothing and started to dress himself. Once his pants and shirt were back on, he began to help Alex, all the while kissing him and petting him. Dressed at last, he stepped back, "C'mon," he growled and headed out, searching for the room key as they went next door to his brother's room.

In the event, Sam was still sleeping, his face pale above the blankets, and he looked absurdly young to be so large. "He looks like he's a little kid, doesn't he?" Alex murmured. "As if he's maybe fourteen years old at the most. I didn't know his girlfriend had died. What happened? Was she sick?"

Alex watched Dean fuss over Sam and quietly got himself ready for bed once more. Slipping between the sheets to wait for Dean, he felt a sudden unaccountable sorrow for the young giant that was sleeping in the next bed. "I'll try and be nicer to him," he murmured.

Dean shook his head as he fussed over Sam, "She died the same as our mom. The Demon pinned her to the ceiling and poof! If I hadn't had a premonition and come back that night, Sam might be dead too." Dean brushed Sam's hair back from his face with a tenderness that had always been there since they were kids.

He moved away at last, sitting on the edge of the bed beside Alex, pulling his shoes off. His jacket was next, dropped on the floor as if he'd forgotten about it as he talked; telling Dean things that he'd never told anyone before. "I've always felt Sam was my responsibility. There were times..." He frowned and looked down, "But at least he is alive." He noticed his crumpled jacket at last and bent to pick it up, tossing it to the end of the bed, getting ready the rest of the way before swinging his legs in and under the covers. He moved around so he was behind Alex, with the man between him and Sam, as if he could somehow protect them both.

A dark figure moved around outside the window, seeming to stop, stand there a while then move on once again. It was hard to make out what or who it was because the street light near the room the brothers were sleeping in had unaccountably gone out. The figure kept moving about, seeming to be testing the security of the room as if attempting to find a weakness in the defenses, or as if waiting for something that only it knew.

Alex stirred. Something was bugging him. He couldn't quite decide what it was, but there was something that he couldn't quite grasp. He turned restlessly and Dean turned with him, After a little while, Alex sighed, pressed close to the warmth of his lover's back and fell back to sleep.

When he awoke, Sam was already up and dressed and sitting at the table, typing away on the computer. He blinked owlishly at the sun slanting in through the blinds and rolled over, unwilling to admit he was awake just yet. Dean was still wrapped around him and he felt more comfortable than he ever had in his life. He'd forgotten the vague sense of misgiving he'd had in the night. He snuggled back against Dean and gave a happy sigh. This was how he wanted his life to go from now on.

Dean could hear the soft click of the keyboard, and closer to him he felt movement. Automatically, he tightened his arms around Alex, not wanting to get up. He wasn't really a morning person, and he adored sleeping, but it seemed that between the sun and Sam's typing, that wasn't gonna happen. Grumbling, he opened his eyes, yawning then stretching. He looked down at Alex and leaned in to kiss his cheek before getting up. "You're up early." Dean walked over to Sam, sitting across from him as he ran his fingers through his hair. "How you feeling?"

Studying his brother, Dean tried to see if there was anything noticeably different about him. He looked okay, but Dean wondered about his mental state.

"I'm good. Want me to go for coffee?" Sam beamed up at his brother, seemingly feeling fine. "I had the best dreams in the night. I think I may need to change the sheets or something." He smirked. "You shoulda been there, dude. Those fairies... I'm telling ya."

Rising to his feet, Sam glanced over at the bed where Alex still lay. "So I'll go get some coffee for us, and that'll give you time to... er... say good morning in Braille or whatever, okay?" So saying, Sam grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. "Back in about ten minutes, so snap it up! I don't want to be shocked when I come back."

Dean had looked back at Sam's bed when he mentioned changing the sheets, and now he returned his brother's gaze, knowing exactly what he meant. Shit, but that look, those words had Dean's insides twisting with want. He cleared his throat and nodded. "I'll hang one of your ties outside the door if things get carried away." Giving Sam one of his patented, smug smirks, he smacked his brother's butt, "Hurry back, but not too fast, and make sure that you bring the caffeine."

As Sam left the room, Dean crossed back over to the bed and jumped in, rolling all over Alex. "Wake up, sexy, or I will tickle you."

"What makes you think I'm not awake?" growled Alex, grabbing Dean and pulling him in for a long, slow exploration of his lover's mouth. "I'm awake enough to hear your kid brother flirting with you. He's a cute kid, isn't he? Did you ever fuck him?" He spread his legs wide and settled Dean between them, grinding up against him with his hips. "It's pretty obvious that he'd like you to. He did everything but hang out the flags for you just now."

He kissed Dean again, his hand sliding into short, spiky hair. "Course, I aim to keep you so drained that you don't have anything left for Sammy boy."

Dean chuckled, getting comfortable as he kissed Alex again, "Once or twice," he admitted. "And I would like to see you try? I'm young, still in my prime," He chuckled as he leaned in to find and claim Alex's lips again. Dean was now slowly rocking his hips, using the material between them to rub over his lover's cock, and on reflection he did have one hell of a fine cock. Dean secretly wondered if either of the other two would mind having a threesome. Well Sam might at first, but he knew how to get round Sammy.

"So you gonna get up, or are we gonna lay here and neck till Sammy gets back, because either way is fine with me." Dean smiled as he smooched on Alex's face in between words.

"I was hoping for some good lovin'," murmured Alex. "Can't stop thinking about you, Dean. You make my mouth water."

Mouth to mouth, Alex reached down to find Dean's erection and fingered it, his hand knowing. "Guess it needs to be short and sweet, with the Jolly Green Giant coming back any moment." He pushed Dean down onto his back, reared up and nuzzled down to take Dean's cock into his mouth. "What's the betting I can make you come, before he comes back?" he asked. "Should I, or should I wait 'til he comes in and then shoot him with your spunk? That'd be fun."

Dean growled then groaned as Alex got forceful on him. Shit, but he liked it when Alex did that. He liked it even more when Alex would swallow him down. "Shit, Alex," Dean groaned as his hips bucked up. What was it about this man that just had him hard? He wanted to put his hand on the back of Alex's head and just fuck that lovely mouth. Damn!

He looked down, "Now... now that would be funny, but we need to be nice to my lovely giant, because damn, Xander, I can just see you going down on me, me going down on him and..." Okay that thought was mind blowing for Dean; he couldn't believe that he'd started to share it with someone else. He closed his eyes as he gripped Alex's hair and started bucking his hips. "Fuck, baby, love your mouth. Love you." Arching his back, Dean felt orgasm approaching.

"Then hurry up and come for me, before that door opens, and I have to stop," Alex grinned up at Dean before redoubling his efforts to suck Dean's soul out through his cock. "Gimme your juice, come on!"

One ear cocked for the sound of feet approaching the door, Alex was working fast, Hand cupping Dean's balls, mouth busily working him. "Let me taste you, baby. Gimme what you've got." He gave a little laugh around Dean's cock. "I'm making up for lost time, here. God, baby, I missed you every day of the years we were apart. When I was in jail in Tunisia, I wrote you a letter on my shirt, because I didn't have any paper. It made me feel better just to know that you were out there somewhere, and that maybe one day I'd find you again."

Dean was groaning, his head tossing on the pillow, gasping for air as Alex worked him harder and faster. "Oh shit, baby," he groaned, gripping Alex's hair. Alex was working him really good, and he didn't even remember to listen for the feet going by the door. Instead all his concentration was on Alex's hot mouth. Shit but it felt like searing heaven.

Dean groaned again, "I missed you too, oh fuck...!" Dean suddenly tensed and he began to give Alex what he wanted. His juices spilled into Alex's awaiting mouth as his body trembled from the release that left him limp upon the bed. "I don't think you will be needing cream in your coffee this morning." He smiled, still feeling Alex's tongue upon his cock even as the man was pulling away. "You really are making up for lost time aren't you?"

"Do you blame me, lover? You're so deep inside my heart that I don't think I'll ever be able to break free again." He swallowed Dean's ejaculate down and licked his lips, then patted his lover's belly. "You taste so good that I could do that forever; I love the little sounds you make, love watching you when you lose it. Your eyes... Jesus, Dean, you're just so gorgeous."

He rolled to his feet and reached for his clothes. "Guess I'd better not shock your brother just yet," he murmured. "I'll cover up the splendor that is me."

Dean chuckled then he gazed at his lover, watching as he was dressing, and then sat up to dress himself. "You know I could stand you doing that forever." He leaned over to capture Alex's lips. Now all he needed was Sam to come back with his coffee, and he would be happy. He loved his brother, and he loved Alex, and to have them both together… well Dean couldn't be happier unless his father was here as well.

Sam turned up very shortly thereafter, bearing coffee and breakfast biscuits for the three of them. He seemed to be almost unaffected by his ordeal of the previous day. Alex was doing his best to be friendly towards Dean's younger brother, and he could see just what it was that appealed to Dean about him. The kid was engaging, with a subtle, sarcastic sense of humor, and a keen mind that he could tell Dean appreciated a great deal.

Lounging on Dean's bed, drinking coffee and eating a biscuit from the paper wrapper, Alex thought that he had come home at last. For once he was no longer afraid of the dark, convoluted plots that Spender was always hatching, and he felt as if he'd finally broken free from the Consortium, the FBI and the whole morass of shadow government he'd been entwined with since he was twenty. He smiled at Dean and raised his coffee to him. "So what are we going after today, babe? Leprechauns? The tooth fairy? Santa Claus?"

"Hey, Leprechauns bring Lucky Charms, Sammy's favorite," Dean nudged his brother adoringly under the table. "The tooth fairy, well I probably dusted her already. Now Santa Claus, he is supposed to hook me up every year, even though he hasn't, so we could go take him out whenever you're ready." He was grumbling, but he was grinning as he took a bite from his breakfast.

"You pick up any papers, bro?" he asked. "Find anything on the net we can waste?" sipping his coffee and musing, his eyes were upon his brother, taking in the sunlight as it danced over his brother's features. Damn, Sam could make his breath catch, if he were to look up at him just right.

"Yeah, gimme a minute." Sam, who had wolfed down his food, grinned back at Dean, fumbling through the pockets of his jacket to pull out a couple of the local papers that were distributed free, and a local daily that he'd bought. "I had a glance through while I was waiting for the order. Didn't really see much to interest us, but you can check it out, if you like."

He passed over the wad of folded newsprint and returned to his coffee, staring wistfully at Alex's partly eaten breakfast biscuit. "Dude, you aren't hungry?"

"Not particularly, why? You want it?" Alex held out the sandwich to Sam, who took it gratefully.

"Somehow I seem to be starving today. Not usually this bad," he said. "Thanks."

Dean stopped in his shuffling of papers and looked at Sam, "Maybe we should run you by a hospital anyway, get you checked out, just in case Tinkerbelle did something to ya." He looked his brother over, feeling a little worry sneak in through his euphoria. He glanced over at Alex and then back to Sam, wondering if there was really anything to worry about. He relaxed at the thought that Sam hadn't eaten last night, and he had brought him something back.

"Dude, if you are still hungry, I brought you dinner last night; it's in that little fridge," he pointed over to it as he was speaking. "You can reheat it."

Watching the brothers, Alex suddenly felt like an outsider. He felt unaccountably trapped. Rising to his feet he headed to the door. "I think I'll go and get more coffee. Anyone want anything else?"

Sam had risen to go to the mini fridge and find the food that Dean had mentioned. He looked over his shoulder at Dean, soft hair flopping into his eyes as he turned. "Thanks. I'm good for now," he said, giving him a lopsided smile. Dean merely waved his empty coffee cup at Alex and winked, and Alex gave him a loving smile as he pulled the door open.

Outside, the day was crisp and cold, and Alex stood for a moment inhaling the clean air, drawing it deep into his lungs and enjoying his fucked-out feeling. Then, making up his mind, he headed back to his own room to take a shower.

Part 21: Exit Light; Enter Night

Say your prayers little one
Dont forget, my son
To include everyone

Tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the sandman he comes

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land
"Enter Sandman," by Metallica.

Just as Alex was walking into his room, the door was shoved wide, and he was pushed inside, the door slammed behind him. An older man stood there, his eyes dark as he looked at the one who had just left the Winchester's room. He looked rough and worn around the edges. His features were rugged, but his eyes held warmth even though they were currently giving Alex a cold stare. "Who are you, and what were you doing leaving that room?"

Alex had put his hand into his pocket and grabbed his gun, not bothering to take it out, but merely pointing it through the fabric, at the intruder. "Who the fuck are you, and why do you want to know?" he growled, backing away as he spoke. "I'll give you ten seconds to explain your interest, or you're gonna find yourself in a lonely, unmarked grave. Go!" He withdrew his hand from his pocket, revealing his Glock.

John Winchester merely looked at the gun and then stepped forward. "I know who you are, Alex." His voice was low and resonant. "Yeah, I know your name. I know who you are. What you are." He moved forward until the gun was resting against his chest, his eyes intense. "You need to leave, and you need to leave now, and you need never to darken their doorway again. You got me?"

For a moment, Alex's eyes opened wide at the other man's words, and then he started to laugh. "No I don't!" he said, between guffaws. "I don't have to do a fucking thing, and you can return to whatever hole you crawled out of and play with yourself. Mind identifying yourself, so I can give you a nice headstone with an inscription?"

John stepped closer, pushing the gun even harder into his chest, "I'm John Winchester. Now you pack up your things. You get in your car and drive away, and you never look back. You crawl back to your Consortium. Back into the sewers you came from. You never see my sons again. You even darken their shadows, try to make contact with them, I will hunt you down and make sure you never do it again. You got me?"

"Yeah, I've got you, but you obviously ain't got me. Mind telling me why you think I should care, John Winchester, since you're the asshole that walked away from my Dean and left him on his own, with nobody?" Alex was angry now. On hearing that this was in fact Dean's father, he had clicked the safety back on his gun and put it back into his pocket, and now he went to sit on the bed. "Prize father you are; no wonder he was frantic with worry about you."

John walked over, grabbing Alex off the bed and slamming him against the wall. The anger was clear in his eyes and upon his face. "You don't know our family, and you don't know what is going on." You don't know how much I love my boys.

"With all due respect, John Winchester," said Alex, his voice toneless. "You don't have a clue what I know. There's no chance that I'm gonna leave Dean; I love him."

"Really. Is that why you want to harm Sam? Because you love Dean. It's not love, Alex. It's possession for you."

"Harm him? What makes you think I want to harm him?" Alex stared at John, wondering where the hell he was getting his information from. "I just want to make Dean happy for once. You certainly haven't done too much of that yourself, have you?"

"Just stay away from my boys," John growled, his eyes intense, and the anger clear in his voice. He turned and tossed Alex onto the bed, "Now pack your things."

"And if I were to say no?" Alex was equally angry. "Don't you care about Dean at all? Don't you want him to be happy?" He turned his palm up helplessly. "You abandoned him, but I love him, and he loves me. I don't want anything to happen to Sam, because that would devastate Dean, and I want Dean to be happy. If you can prove to me that there's any real reason for wanting me out of the way, because it will hurt Dean more than losing me, I'll go, but you just telling me to get out isn't gonna do it. It just means that I go back and tell Dean, and he comes to kick your dog-in-the-manger ass."

He paused for a moment, looking at John. "I love Dean, Mr. Winchester. I want the best life for him that he can possibly have, and if that isn't what you want, I'll know it."

"I'm telling you to leave for Dean's own good. And don't you dare tell me how I feel about my boys," John snarled. "Your friends, they are coming back for you. They know where you are, and you are gonna get my boys killed. You are gonna get Dean killed, or worse." He moved to step before Alex once more. "They are gonna use Dean as bait once they find out, and then it will only be a matter of time, won't it?"

The older Winchester reached into his jacket, tossing a folder down beside Alex. "Your girlfriend, Marita, is looking for you."

"She's not my girlfriend!" Alex spat out. "Hasn't been for years. If you know so much, why is she looking for me? The old man is dead now; there's nobody left that cares."

Inwardly, he felt chilled. Had he put Dean in danger? If anyone, anywhere, hurt Dean, he'd never forgive himself. "I don't want anything to happen to Dean. I mean it; I love him." He frowned. If what John Winchester was saying was true, then Dean was in trouble, and so was Sam. Alex couldn't let that happen. He felt his world end right there.

"Welcome to my world. You accused me of not loving Dean. Of abandoning him. I did it because I don't want my boys involved when... things go down." John left it at that. "I left to protect him. To protect Sam." He stepped back. "The people you play with are dangerous, Alexander. They won't hesitate to kill. And your friend, the old man, he's not dead. Though there seem to be puppets fighting to be the new puppet master. Your friend, Marita, wants you to run it with her." He paused, sure now from Alex's expression that his message was going home.

"Your mess is not finished, and you're putting my boys in danger. You finish sorting out your mess, and then you can come back to Dean, if you still care by then."

"I don't want to run anything with her." Alex was shivering now. "I want Dean." He would have hugged himself, if he'd had two good arms. As it was, he merely stood, game face in place, chin lifted in the arrogant manner he'd always resorted to, when he didn't want people to know that he was suffering. "You sure that that evil old bastard is still alive? I killed him with my bare hands. What the hell is he?"

He seemed almost to have forgotten John as he reached for his phone and turned it on for the first time since he'd met up with Dean. Thumbing the speed dial, he called Marita, and after a few minutes he threw the phone from him in disgust. "I'll never be free, will I? God, how I hate them."

Turning back to John, he nodded. "Okay, you win. I'll leave, but I'm telling you, I'm not going back to the Consortium; I'm going to do what I can to stop them. They've fucked up my life, and I'm going to see that they don't win." He paused. "I want to say goodbye to him before I go," he said at last. "I vanished out of his life the last time. I don't want to do that again. It wouldn't be fair to Dean. He isn't as strong as he wants you to think he is."

John just stood there, taking in Alex's reaction. His frosty expression had melted somewhat; in a way, he felt for Alex. "You'd better not tell him I was here," was all he said. He was determined that his boys shouldn't find out that he was ever there. John turned to leave and then paused. "Alex," John looked back at him. "There are some things that will never end... unless it's in death." Pulling open the door, John Winchester walked out, closing it behind him.

A year passed. John Winchester was laid to rest in the only way that Sam and Dean knew, his corpse salted and burned, and the long, slow process of healing began, although it seemed to Sam that Dean was beyond broken, and that nothing could ever be right for his brother again. He tried hard, but try as he might he was rebuffed. Dean would give him nothing, merely turning his most annoyingly sarcastic attitude onto him and suffering on his own.

He sought for something to turn his brother around, feeling more and more the loss of the devil-may-care spirit of this man who had practically raised him, nursed him through his illnesses and given him everything that he couldn't have himself. He ached for Dean.

Since the one-armed man had left him, Dean had no longer looked at the cheap girls in bars; it was as if everything in him had shut down, and he was frozen into his grief. Finally, one day, finding themselves at a loose end after a hunt in Virginia, Sam took things into his own hands. It was his turn to drive, and his brother was sleeping, exhausted after a battle that had taken everything they had. Deciding that he had to take the chance, Sam turned the Impala towards Washington DC and headed into the nation's capital to find Krycek and make him come back to Dean.

Dean woke, sunglasses on, and he stretched purposefully, shoving his brother as he was driving. "Where are we?" he asked, smacking his lips from the dryness of sleep and looking about for a bottle of water. Traffic was speeding past them, so they were in some city. "What we doing here? You find something to hunt while I was sleeping, or is this another one of your visions?"

"Call it more of a premonition," said Sam, eyeing Dean and gesturing towards the water that had rolled onto the floor while his brother was sleeping. "There's something we need to hunt down, for sure. This is Washington DC, and we're looking for rodents - preferably the two legged kind, and especially the kind that are missing a limb.' They'd crossed the bridge, and Sam was approaching the Hoover building. "There it is;" he said, pointing with his thumb as they drove past. "That's the FBI headquarters. They ought to know where he is."

Dean had grabbed at the water, and he nearly choked on it at Sam's words. His head whipped around to look at his brother as if he had gone insane. "What? The one city with the most cops... with what we do and we are looking for...." He couldn't even say his lover's name. Dean had only heard from Alex once since that time, on his birthday. "I swear you have got to be high. He's probably not even here. Why bother?" He stared out the window. Dean hadn't thought the ache in his heart could get any worse, but somehow it had just succeeded.

Inspecting the FBI building, Dean frowned. He knew full well there were two badges in the glove box that could get them inside. "So what? You have a plan or something?"

"Kind of," said Sam, looking over to Dean to get a feel for how he was taking this. "You know that you've been pining for him, and if he didn't leave you an address, then the best chance we have of locating him is to get into the Hoover, find that office down in the basement that he told you about and search through the files 'til we find him. If the dude he mentioned as being after him all the time is there, then we take him down and make him tell us where Alex is. That is my plan. Masterly, don't you think? And I so young." He spied a parking lot on a vacant site and pulled the car in, fishing through his pockets for change to buy a ticket.

Dean looked over at Sam and stole a line from his brother. "Who are you, and what have you done with my brother, you freak?" He smacked Sam's leg. Dean pushed open the door but reached into the glove box and started looking for the IDs he had salted away. He pulled one out, and handed it over to Sam, "Here you go." Taking his own, he wondered if they should change. "We gonna have to play Blues Brothers again?" he asked over the car.

Deep down, Dean very much doubted they would find Alex. The sinking feeling in his stomach told him that it was over. Alex had left him that day for the rest of his life. Things between Alex and these others would never be over. And for some reason, there was a growing pit in his stomach, bigger even than before.

"Yeah, the suit and tie thing is required," said Sam with a grin. "Besides, if we find him, we want you looking spiffy, don't we?" Sam headed around to the trunk and found the suit bags, pulling the two of them out and passing one over to Dean. "Come on, dude. Let's get into the undertaker suit and get this done."

Dressing in the car was a comedy of errors. Dean went first, while Sam stood guard, and once he was decent, Sam took his place, fighting with his pants and cursing the thought that had caused him to come here.

Finally, both dressed in funereal black with white shirts and Sam's unruly mop temporarily gelled back off his face, the two men pinned on their badges and headed to the Hoover. "What was that dude's name?" asked Sam as they trotted up the stairs and into the building. "The one that was chasing your boy all over the place?"

Straightening his tie, Dean made a face as they walked toward the Hoover building. He couldn't believe he was doing this, or that Sam was willing. Dean stopped, looking up at his brother, "Sam, look, we don't have to do this."

Sam shot a glance at Dean and then nodded, "Yes we do."

Dean stared at Sam for a long time as his younger brother walked on and left him standing. Rushing to catch up with him, he was beside his brother as they entered the building. "I only remember the last name, Mulder." Together, the two of them approached security, flashed their badges and passed through, "Hey, can you tell me where Agent Mulder's office is?"

The guy laughed, "Spooky? Basement. Take the elevator all the way down, you can't miss it."

They followed the directions that the security guard had given them and were soon standing outside a door on which read the legend, "X-Files." It was locked.

The basement seemed deserted, and Sam dropped to his knees, swiftly working the tumblers of the lock so that the door popped open with a snick. "Tsk! You'd think that the FBI would pose more of a challenge, really, wouldn't you?" He grinned up at Dean as he rose to his feet and dusted off his knees.

Pushing open the door, it soon became obvious that this was the place they needed. Dean closed it behind them and headed for the filing cabinet, while Sam made a beeline for the computer, and soon they were working through files and folders that contained a wealth of information on all aspects of the supernatural.

When Sam finally broke Mulder's code and found a file labeled Krycek, Alex, he called Dean, and soon they were sifting through the information with their breath bated.

Dean had been looking through the files in the cabinet, chuckling. "I can't believe half this shit." He shook his head, stuffing a file back and thumbing through some others. "For a guy trying to prove this stuff exists, he is doing a really piss-poor job." At Sam's call, Dean moved over, leaned against his brother's shoulder, and together they read the file.

From what Dean could see, Alex had been a busy boy in the early days. He frowned as he saw there had been a long space of time where nothing had been recorded until an entry that was recent. Dean suddenly felt his knees turn weak, and the blood drained from his face. He straightened up and backed away, blinking quickly, his jaw clenching tight. He swallowed hard, "Well that answers that," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

Quick as a thought, Sam was up out of the seat, putting his arms around his brother to hold him tight, teeth clenching as he bit back words that he knew would only make things worse. Dead - Dean's lover was dead, and he, Sam, had taken away his brother's last hope of happiness. "God, Dean, I am so sorry," he whispered, knowing that the words meant nothing, and that his rash plan had backfired so completely that it deserved a space in the Guinness Book of World Records, or something.

Dean blinked, his face an emotionless mask though his eyes were filled with tears. He couldn't talk, dared not. Instead he reached up, gently pushing his brother away, "Shut that thing off and let's get out of here before..." He fell silent as he heard a sound. The voices of at least two men became steadily more audible. He shrugged at Sam, and then pushed him to the other side of the door as he drew his gun.

Doggett was the first in the door, "I'm telling you, there's nothing there. You're only seeing what you want to see."

"You're wrong." The flat, nasal drawl of the man following him into the room spoke of a lifetime of getting his own way. The men were in before they noticed anything was wrong, and Fox Mulder froze as he saw the intruders. "Who the hell are you?" he asked, flinching a little as Sam pointed his gun and stood holding it on him.

"Shut up," Sam growled. He'd checked the badges, and realized that this was the Mulder that Dean had mentioned. "We've got some questions. Answer them, and we'll leave." He pointed to the chair and indicated that Doggett should sit, then swiftly used a set of handcuffs to secure him to it.

Doggett glared at the gun as the door was shut and locked. He'd put his hands up as he inspected the two young men who had guns upon them. "Questions?" Doggett lowered himself down and winced as Sam closed the cuffs around him tightly. "About what?"

Dean sauntered over to Mulder, his face now a mask of anger, "Sit down," came the low growl. When Mulder didn't comply fast enough Dean kicked his knee and forced him down, securing him to the second chair. He grabbed his hair and bent his head back, "Tell me you buried him." The gun in Dean's other hand was pointed right between Mulder's eyes.

"Okay, I buried him," said Mulder, sarcasm thick in his voice as he glared up at Dean. "What the hell are you talking about? And what are you doing in my office?"

Doggett rocked his chair forward, trying to reach the telephone on the desk, and Sam sighed, stepped over to him and clouted him behind the ear with his gun. Doggett went limp, and hung in the seat, his face slack, as Sam, eyes on his brother, reached for the phone jack and yanked it out of the wall.

"Alex Krycek," Dean spoke slowly in some effort to try and control his anger. It was taking everything he had to keep from pulling the trigger. To keep from seeing Mulder's brain splattered on his stupid ass poster of wanting to believe. "Did you bury him?"

"Did I?" Mulder stared at Dean, off-balance now as he sought through his memories. So much had happened that day. "No. Skinner said he'd dispose of him. Why do you want to know, anyway? He was a morally bankrupt bastard, with less conscience than a cockroach. Nobody will ever miss him."

Dean drew back and punched Mulder before grabbing him in the chair and slamming it back so the chair was on two legs and Mulder's head hit his desk. "YOU FUCKIN' BASTARD!" Dean was shaking. "You are the one that can't even rate on the level of a roach. You would give them a bad name. And you are so stupid. You only see what is around you, not the rest of the world. You are not the fucking sun, Muldick. Everything doesn't revolve around you."

Mulder shook his head, groggy from the effects of the repeated blows. He smiled, his full lips curling in derision. "Well, I guess that even a piece of slime like Alex Krycek has someone to mourn for him. If you want to know where he's buried, you're gonna have to go bother Walter Skinner, because I don't have a clue, and what's more, I don't care."

Sam frowned. Something was nagging him. "Where was he killed?" he asked.

"In the parking garage," said Mulder. "Just out back here."

Dean punched Mulder once again before jerking him back up. "I should just let him haunt your lame ass, because it's clear to me... you don't know jack shit about what you are doing, or how to find any of the things you're looking for. Yeah, I read some of your files... you are a fucking idiot. Dirt has a higher IQ than you do." Dean kicked the chair over, looking to his brother. "Let's go," he glanced back to Mulder, "We'll be back, don't go anywhere."

"Dean, there's no evidence that he's haunting anywhere," said Sam as they left the X-Files, closing the door on the two imprisoned agents, leaving Doggett still unconscious and Mulder lying on the floor, bleeding from a cut lip, glaring at him. "You heard Mulder. This Skinner person that shot him probably burned his body or something."

As Dean continued walking towards the door that led to the parking garage, Sam sighed and followed him.

Dean shook his head, "As badly as they treated him, probably dumped his body in a river or something." He pushed open the door, letting it slam shut again as he walked out into the parkade. He slowed when they reached the area Mulder had described, and Sam swiftly located the stain on the concrete, where Alex Krycek's blood had spilled out.

Dean's hand still stung from hitting Mulder. He hesitated a moment and then finally moved over to where Sam was standing and looked down, swallowing hard. He crouched down at last, hand reaching to touch the place where the blood still lingered.

The air was suddenly cool, and Sam twitched, fumbling through his pockets for the EMF. "Dean," he said. "Something... I can feel something."

Dean looked up to Sam, "You have the EMF?" He too could feel the air around him turning cold, but there was a familiar scent to it. He felt his breath catch for a moment. "Xander?" he whispered.

At first it seemed as if nothing more would happen, and Sam was about to go back into the main building, when Alex walked out of the shadows. He looked younger than he had when last Dean had seen him, and it was plain to see that he had two arms once more. He came to a stop on the bloodstained concrete in front of Alex and stood looking down at the still crouching Dean.

"Hello, love," he murmured, and there was regret in his voice as he spoke. "My fault, Dean. I failed you."

Dean couldn't tear his eyes away. Alex was as he remembered him when they first met. He rose up, wanting to go to the man and hold him, kiss him, touch him but... A tear trickled down Dean's cheek as he stood there. "It's okay." He swallowed hard. "What happened, Xander?"

Alex's face changed, grew older, and he was suddenly dressed in more expensive clothes. He turned as a car roared up and a man got out of it. It could be seen that the man was Mulder. They couldn't hear a sound, but it was obvious that there was an altercation between them, and as Alex was speaking, wordlessly opening and closing his mouth, a third figure joined the two of them.

Dean watched as the scene played out. He swallowed hard, and then flinched as the tall, balding man shot his lover. Closing his eyes, Dean swayed, only to feel his brother's hands upon him. "I'm okay," he whispered then looked back at Alex. "Do... do you know where your body is?"

Lying on his back, the hole in his forehead gaping open like a third eye, Alex flickered, faded away, and all was silent again. They waited for a long time before regretfully turning away. It seemed as if Alex had gone, at least at that moment.

Sam, who was still standing very close to his brother, squeezed his shoulder. "Now what do we do? He's gone, and I don't know how you summon ghosts - just demons."

Dean closed his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks, and drew in a long breath. "We better get out of here."

Sam took hold of Dean's arm and started out, heading back toward the place where they'd parked their car. "Do we need to find this Skinner?" he asked, hoping to God that if they found him, Dean wouldn't skin him alive. They ran across the street to the Impala, and Sam unlocked the passenger door then went around to the driver's side, looking at Dean over the roof of the car. "He should know where he dumped Alex's body or where it went or we can..." His words cut off.

"Or we can check the morgue," said Dean. He got into the car, pulled his FBI badge off and started searching for different ones. He was getting good at making these things.

"You calm down, bro. I'll drive." Sam settled himself behind the wheel and started the engine. "I don't know where the City Morgue is. You have any clue?"

The evening had come down on them without their noticing, and the street lights were flickering on. Sam flipped on the headlights as they pulled away. "Should be easy enough to find tomorrow. Probably won't be open now though. It's getting late.

"You don't need to go there," murmured Alex, from the rear seat, causing Sam to swerve and making the truck driver behind them honk his horn angrily. "Dean... I need you to help me. I need you to do whatever it is that you guys do to lay me to rest."

Dean jumped at the voice, but quickly turned around to see Alex sitting in the back seat, smiling at him. His heart was pounding, and he stared at the spirit of the man he'd loved. "I guess we don't, now you're here," he nodded, "I know, I'm trying to help. If we can find your body, we can put you to rest. You... I don't care what they say. You deserve that because... you do." Dean nodded.

"You gonna salt me and burn my bones?" Alex gave Dean a half smile. "I guess that's what you do, isn't it? Salt and burn." His face turned ugly, the wound in his forehead flickering in and out of existence before Alex's ghost settled down again to resemble the young man Dean had first rescued and loved. "Too bad you can't salt and burn the bald fuck that put me in my grave."

Dean insides ached, and he had to look away, the pain of all he had gone through showing on his face in one shot. When he finally dared to look up, Alex's appearance had reverted to youthful once more. "Hmm," he nodded, turning back. "It's tempting." He glanced at Sam, who was concentrating manfully on driving. "Where are you, Xander?" Dean finally asked Alex, returning his gaze to the back seat.

The ghost appeared to peer out of the window, and the brothers could feel the cold air from the back of the car as he put his head between them. "Okay, take a right here and head out towards the arboretum." He reached forward and laid his right hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean could feel the eerie touch like a jolt of electricity. "I'm in the Eastern Cemetery. They dumped me naked, and my identity was never found - Skinner made sure of that."

Shivering from the touch, Dean gasped at the jolt and turned his head to his one time lover. "We'll take care of it." He turned back, "You know where you are going, Sammy?" With a nod, Dean fought to school his face not to allow any more emotions to show.

As Sam pulled the car up at the cemetery, Dean climbed out to find a shovel and the gas can. Sam followed behind with the salt, and the two brothers began to walk, looking about themselves anxiously. "I'm starting to hate cemeteries," Dean mumbled to Sam as he probed the darkness with the flashlight. The air was cold, Dean felt cold, and he knew that people would say what they were about to do was cold hearted. But it was to put his lover to rest. To lay to rest the happiness that now could never be. Dean was all too well aware that he would be burying any dreams he might have had.

"Dean." The ghost had followed, was walking beside him, looking as solid as he had ever done in real life. "Your father was the one that told me to get away from you. He was right. You'd be dead with me now, if I hadn't bailed on you and led them away."

As they finally arrived at the lonely grave, Alex turned, put out a hand, touched Dean's face, warmer now, almost feeling alive. "I loved you; I really did; I still do." He bent forward a little and kissed Dean's mouth, the whisper of lips over his. "So do it, love, and hurry, before I change my mind and beg you to keep me with you."

He studied the wooden marker that was his only headstone. "There's nobody else to remember me, and that's probably a very good thing for all of us. You've been through so much, but I know you have a chance to be happy, if you take it."

Dean closed his eyes, his body shaking with emotion. He'd only let Sam see him that way once. Now he was showing it again as Dean felt his world shattering down all around him. He'd lost his mom, given up his childhood for his brother and father, given up all his dreams for them. He'd had his father give up his own life for him to live without asking him what he thought. He'd feared, always feared Sam would be next, and that he would be the one to leave him, but he'd been wrong, Sam remained, but Alex was gone, taken from him in the worst way. Now he was learning that his father had been the one who told his lover to leave.

Dean opened his eyes, swallowing hard, glancing at Sam before turning back to Alex, "My father never gave me a chance to say... what I would have wanted to say, but..." He cleared his throat, "I love you, Xander. Just wish... we could have one more time." Dean dropped the gas can and the shovel and pressed his hands to his face.

"We should get to it," he said at last.

"Did you ever see Ghost?" Sam had been waiting, watching as his brother's heart took yet another beating, but now he stepped forward. "Dude, I don't know if it can be done for real, but we can try, can't we?"

Alex suddenly looked thoughtful. "I guess we can give it a whirl, since you're psychic Psammy!" For a moment, the ghost grinned, and then he stepped forward, walked straight into Sam, and the lanky young ghosthunter's eyes opened wide as he felt the presence inside him. A moment later, he fell to the ground.

There was a rushing in Dean's ears. It had come to this, and now Sammy was apparently unconscious. As he stumbled forward and knelt down beside his brother, Sam's eyes opened and he reached up with his arms to pull Dean down against him. "Holy shit," said Sam. "It worked."

"Sammy?" Dean asked, holding his brother tightly, but suddenly as he looked into those eyes, he could only see Alex, even if he wore the moles and the sexy smile of his brother. "Xander, is that you? Oh God, Sammy, what did you do?" He brushed his hand through Sam's hair, collecting his thoughts and finally accepting what Sam was trying to give to him.

Holding his brother's body so tightly that he was almost crushing him, Dean whispered, "I wish you wouldn't have left. I didn't want you to leave, but who was I to tell you not to?" He pulled back, his eyes glassy once more and then leaned in, kissing him deeply. "You really want to do this here, on your grave? I know you were kinky but..." He smiled.

Alex rolled them over and smiled down at Dean out of Sam's eyes, then bent to kiss him. "It's gonna be better than it was the last time we did it, love. I've got two arms again." He gave a short laugh. "That's one perk of being a ghost, I guess. And for this, I'll take it."

They kissed for a long time, Sam's fingers stroking Dean in a way his brother never had, Sam's mouth uttering endearments that would have made the man himself blush. "I want to do everything to you. I don't ever want you to forget me, Dean. I won't forget you, no matter where I am."

Slowly opening Dean's clothes, Alex kissed his way down Dean's body, mouth straying to lick, or nibble or suck at every part. "When I'm gone, you'll still have Sam, you know," he said softly.

Dean's body came alive. He wasn't sure if it was because of Sam's presence or because he was with his lover once again for the last time. He gasped and moaned, little curses leaving him as Alex worked him with his own brother's hands. "I know," he breathed, "I love him. I love you."

"I'll never forget you, Xander. I can't; it's not possible." Dean's finger groped at Sam's clothing, pulling to expose his brother's skin. When he looked up into those eyes, he could see green gazing back at him. He saw his lover which made Dean's heart melt and ache at the same time. Exposed as they were, they couldn't get completely naked, but Dean was willing to give that up for this last opportunity to show Alex how much he loved him.

Simultaneously surging up and pushing down, he pulled Alex into a deep kiss that was at the same time hungry and needful. "Want you," he moaned. Teeth sank into skin. Hands pushed at Sam's pants, getting them open so he could sneak a hand inside to grasp his cock and Dean smirked, knowing that what he was whispering was sure to either make Sam inside blush or be jealous.

Sam/Alex closed his eyes and moaned as Dean's fingers caressed him. Pulling Dean's pants open, he reciprocated, palming Dean's erection, sliding a knowing hand up and down as he tugged it free from his clothing. "You know, I used a lot of people, but I only ever loved you," he said softly, moving down until he could lick at the tip of the cock he was holding, swirling his tongue around the ridge where head joined shaft.

For a few moments he lavished attention on the crown, kissing and sucking at it so that he could hear Dean cry out, and then he suddenly sucked him all the way in, mouth working, saliva and hot wet tissue surrounding him.

"Yeah, well so have I," Dean had to admit, "But not after you left and... and after my father's death." He squirmed at his own honesty, but then he let out a cry as his cock ached for that hot mouth. Dean looked down, watching his brother's dark head working him the way he never had before. He knew that Sam wasn't this skilled.

Dean gripped the dark locks, giving them a little push even though he knew he really didn't have to. "God, you are so good at this. Shit!" Dropped back, he pushed his hips up into that delicious mouth and spread his legs wider with need. "Shit, Xander, fuck me, please."

Willing hands tugged at Dean's jeans, dragging them down and then discarding them, so that Dean's lower half lay exposed in the faintly misty moonlight. Lips nuzzled and mumbled over Dean's cock, along his thighs, down behind his balls, until Dean's breathing turned ragged, and he began to beg.

When at last the ghost in Sam's body reared up onto his knees and pulled Dean onto his thighs, he crouched, gazing down on Dean, Alex's expression on Sam's face, before leaning forward and beginning to press himself inside Dean.

Dean was squirming and clutching, back arching as little soft obscenities emerged from his lips. His eyes closed tightly against the pressure of Sam's cock entering him. It had been a very long time since he and Sam had done this. There was pain at first, before he could relax enough to give way and then the burn turned into something sweet and full of sensation. Dean gave himself over to it, clinging onto Sam's upper arms. As he gazed up, all he could see was Alex's sweet face, Alex's tender expression and loving eyes. "Love you. Always will," he breathed, even as his eyes shone with tears.

He groaned deeply, working his hips along with those pumping into him. "Oh, man, Xander, you..." Dean groaned again, head pressing back as his back tried to arch. God he loved the feel of this, even though the feeling was tearing him apart on so many levels. Levels he knew he was going to have to learn to shut off or bleed to death from the emotional wounds he'd received.

Once inside Dean, Alex moved gently, not wanting this to be over until it had to be. Instead he crouched, gazing down at his love, hands caressing wherever they could reach. "I wish things could have been different. Maybe we'll get another chance in some future lifetime, you think?"

Tears glinted on Sam/Alex's cheeks, and he leant forward as far as he could, pulling Dean up so that their lips could meet. "You promise me that you and Sam will be happy?" he whispered.

Dean wished for that as much as Alex did - wished that for once the people around Dean would stop leaving him. He swallowed hard as a salty tear dropped down onto him, searing his skin. He wasn't sure that was a promise he could make. All his other promises had fallen apart when he'd made them. All he could do was nod, knowing his brother was probably listening, watching, and experiencing the intense feelings the two of them had shared when he wasn't around.

"Anything is possible," Dean whispered as he surged up again to capture those lips, even if it meant bending his body into a position that resembled a pretzel. Grabbing, clutching, caressing, Dean let himself open up, baring himself to Alex, to Sam as he was moved. The ring Alex had given him left an impression upon Sam's skin as Dean held on tightly to keep from moving under the tender assault of his lover - his one time lover, he supposed.

Passion grew, and the two of them plunged towards completion, and there would be bruises on both Dean and Sam before the night was through. Alex didn't speak again, because he couldn't. His throat was so tight with the pain of loss that he just couldn't say a word. He concentrated instead on kissing Dean, sucking on his lover's tender mouth, stealing his breath as they moved together - no words, merely tiny sounds, little moans, groans and grunts that told of the bitter-sweet pleasure of this last ever lovemaking

It didn't take much longer. Alex could feel Sam's body tightening, knew that he couldn't hold on much longer and took hold of Dean's cock, squeezing it and stroking it as he tried to make sure that Dean came with him when he finally released.

Dean's lashes were wet with tears. This moment was soon going to be over, and his heart was going to be torn from him once again, the way it had been when he'd seen the words upon the screen that had announced Alex's death – the way it had been when he'd seen his father upon the bed and heard the doctor calling the time – the time that would be forever in his memory. And just the way it had been when he'd watched the house burn that he'd called his home. Now if ever, Dean understood Sam and how his little brother felt about his loss over Jessica.

With eyes closed tightly, Dean let out a gurgled cry as his release slammed into him, letting go all the emotions that were pinned up inside him. Tears streamed from the corners of his eyes, sliding down his temples to the ground. The hot splash of his own seed burned his chest even as he felt Sam/Alex fill him. Dean felt shattered, and he started to fight hard to gather those pieces together once more, before his brother returned, and Alex left.

Alex sprawled out over his lover, Sam's body limp and boneless as he collapsed, his head pillowed on Dean's shoulder, his arms stealing round him to hold him close as they lay in the grass on Alex's grave. For a while, neither of them spoke, and then Alex shook Sam's unruly mop of hair back from his face and raised himself to look at Dean.

"Best we get going, love. There isn't too much of the night left, and you don't want to be here once the day breaks." He kissed Dean one last time, lips soft and face full of regret. "I'll never forget that day you found me in the silo there, how gorgeous you looked, and how much you made me want you. Did I ever tell you that I found out what the black stuff was? It was an alien that had the power to possess people, just the way that those demons of yours can. Later, I saw a lot of people that were infected by it. I even infected one of them myself, on purpose."

"Hope they deserved it," Dean managed to get out from his closed throat. He swallowed hard once again. "If we run into them, we'll be sure to fry one up for you." He was grimly building his walls back up, trusting Alex to let it happen. "We'd better hurry; Sammy and I have some digging to do." He grabbed at his brother, but whispered to what was inside him. "I... I lied to Sam once, when I told him I didn't know what it was like to lose a love like he had with his girl. I did know. I do know, and I always will know."

Dean felt them separate, and he held back all the sounds that wanted to escape him. "Xander... Is he going to remember all this?" He asked, eyes red-rimmed and blinking fast with tears.

"I don't know." Alex smiled wryly. "I never tried to possess a living person before." He smiled wider and sat up to start adjusting his clothing. "Maybe I could go possess Walter Skinner and have him drive off a bridge into the Potomac or something." He paused and frowned in the act of pulling his pants up. "I guess that sounds like your typical, evil ghost, but it isn't. I was a killer before I died. I haven't changed. That's all. I get these urges from time to time."

He scrambled to his feet again and stooped to offer Dean his hand, pulling his lover up into his waiting arms. "So I guess I should get out of your brother and let him cope with the wet spot in his undies," he said, looking down into Dean's tearful eyes. "I won't be gone completely, you know. I'll always be watching you, loving you."

Dean dressed himself the rest of the way, arching his back as he slid his pants back up and closed the zipper. He could understand Alex's desire to kill the one who had killed him, especially lately. There were urges in him he didn't want to face, and hunting seemed to be the only thing that would make them go away for a while.

What's dead should stay dead. Those words repeated in Dean's mind even as his heart tried to reject them. He swallowed and nodded, "Just, give me some privacy in the shower now and again." He gave a quick, sad little smile before slowly pulling away.

It had to come to an end at last. Sam gave a shudder, and his breathing faltered, and suddenly, he was Sam again, and Alex was gone as if he'd never been. For a moment, Sam staggered, putting out a hand to hold himself up in case he fell on his face.

"You okay?" he asked, peering at Dean, a worried frown on his face. "What happened?" He checked his watch, apparently disoriented. When Dean didn't answer immediately, he picked up his shovel and started to dig. "Dude, you still want to do this?" he asked.

Dean just stared at Sam for the longest moment before, like his father, he schooled his face, and he nodded, "Yeah, we... need to." Dean grabbed at the shovel, not sure if Sam was lying about not remembering or if he really wasn't faking. The shovel cut into the dirt, and with each removal of dirt, Dean felt his heart aching worse. His only fear now was that they hadn't put Alex into a box before interring him.

After a long while, finally the brothers struck something. Dean looked over at Sam and shrugged. He drew a shaky breath and grabbed the pry bar. "Okay, let's do this. Get the salt and gas, hand it down," Dean stabbed the bar in to get the box open. He didn't want to look in, but he couldn't stop himself, and he winced at the sight before prizing the box open the rest of the way. Climbing out, he grabbed the salt and started pouring it over Alex's body, while Sam did the same with the gas.

Dean stood at the edge for a long while before pulling a lighter out and setting it afire and tossing it in. He didn't say anything, merely stood there, staring into the blaze with tears in his eyes. He swallowed hard, trying to hide the trembling of his bottom lip, not wanting to let it show that a tear slipped down. "We should really get out of town right away, before I..." Dean grabbed the shovel without saying another word.

"Yeah, dude, you got it." For once, Sam didn't argue, didn't find six million reasons why they should stay; he merely shouldered his shovel and straightened up. "You sure that you're okay?"

Dean didn't answer, and Sam hadn't expected him to. This was Dean's own, private grief, and the closest he would ever be able to come to it was in the pain of losing Jess. Wisely, Sam kept silent and led Dean back to the Impala, wordlessly loaded the shovels into the trunk and then said, "I'll drive," in a tone that brooked no argument.

The motel they found was expensive and only half way decent. As Sam rented the room, Dean merely sat staring into space, and finally Sam had to go fetch him out of the car to come inside.

Dean hadn't at first felt the nudge from Sam 'til his brother tugged at his sleeve to encourage him to get out of the Impala. Slowly he left the car behind, exchanging it for the darkened room. Dean tossed his bag down on the floor and headed for the bathroom. "Gonna shower," he announced without looking back. The door closed behind him, and this time Dean locked it, something he rarely did. Eyes drifted about the bright room, taking in the neatly rolled up towels, the shower curtain that was pulled back to reveal a clean tub. His eyes finally came to rest upon his own reflection and he noted that he had reddened eyes that looked as if h was seriously lacking sleep, or was on a drug bender. Dark circles under his eyes completed the effect, standing out starkly in his pale face.

Dean moved over toward the mirror, just standing there. He felt like he was in a living hell. His father's death was still fresh in him even if it had been months since it happened, and now a new scar had formed, adding to the gaping hole that lay in his heart. If he were to lose Sam as well, Dean's world would be fully shattered. He would be alone. He felt a heaviness suddenly come over him, and his knees nearly gave out. Fresh tears began to form, and Dean swallowed hard, then moved to turn the shower on, stripping off his clothing as he went.

The water was really hot, scalding in fact as he got in, leaning with one hand on the shower wall, while his head dropped down and his tears flowed freely. His quiet sobs were masked by the rattle of the exhaust fan, and the water raining down around him. It was long moments before Dean started to wash away any dirt his activities had left on him. He wanted to wash away the thoughts in his head too – thoughts of burying alive the two bastards that had killed Alex, thoughts of solemnly cursing them for giving him the burial that they had. He guessed it was a small favor that they'd given him even that much, but still the need to hurt them as much as he hurt was there, weighing heavy. He and Sam needed to get as far from this place as possible, to put several states between them as soon as they could.

Sam paced while Dean was in the bathroom, worried for his brother and knowing that there was absolutely nothing he could do to help. He'd made sure that Dean had left his weapons out in the bedroom, and now he was striding restlessly back and forth in the hotel bedroom, wracking his brains as he attempted to think of anything that might comfort Dean.

He wondered if Dean would want to go after Krycek's murderers, and wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not. On the one hand, he figured that it might give his desolate brother a mild sense of satisfaction, and on the other, Dean really didn't need the feds chasing him as well as everything else on his plate. For himself, Sam had just begun to like Krycek when the man had disappeared. He'd truly enjoyed watching the way that Alex had brought Dean out of himself and had begun to accept that the love between the two of them was real. Now he was left to pick up the pieces. That made him cranky.

When Dean finally emerged from the shower in a cloud of steam, Sam went to him and put his arms around him, not caring if Dean would be sarcastic or not, but just wanting to feel his brother's warmth against him.

Dean's skin was red both from the shower and from having Sam greet him as he stepped from the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. He made a face as Sam hugged him, but once his brother was holding him, Dean closed his eyes tightly, wet his lips and drew a breath to keep his emotions safely swallowed down.

Lifting his hands, Dean finally protested, "Dude, get off me, you are all dirty," and pushed Sam gently away, steeling his face much as his father always had. "Take a shower, Sammy; I left you some hot water." He moved around Sam, going to his bag to get some clean underwear before crawling into bed.

Numbly, Sam nodded. It was true; he was grubby, covered in grave dirt and smuts from the burning of Alex's remains. He undressed down to his underwear and headed into the bathroom to start getting himself clean. He had no idea what to do for Dean, so he concentrated on washing himself and making himself fresh, thinking that at least he could do that.

Once he was clean, he draped the towel around his hips and went back out, wondering if he should climb into bed with Dean or leave him. "Dude. You want me to hold you?"

Dean lay in his bed while Sam was washing up, letting the sound of the shower create a numbness in his head. That was good because thinking right now was the last thing he wanted to do. The walls around him were trying to build up higher. Dean knew he had changed with the loss of his father. His father had always placed a very heavy weight upon him. He had admitted to that in the hospital, and not once had Dean complained, knowing that it was for his family. However even as he'd admitted it, his father had placed another burden on him, and Dean could feel himself cracking now under the weight.

Then there was Alex, who had been the one person who loved him for himself, and who wasn't tied to his family. Alex hadn't felt like he had some obligation to love him; he just had. He hadn't placed anything on Dean; instead he had given. Alex had given him the love that he craved but couldn't seem to get from his own family. Dean had thought he wasn't going to be alone forever. There had always been that little glimmer of hope in the back of his mind that Alex would be there for him, but now that had been stomped out. Burned away just like his bones. Forever lost to him.

Dean clutched at his pillow, his face buried in it and his back to the bathroom door. Dean loved his little brother, he always had. However, deep down, Dean had always been jealous of him. Sam seemed always to have taken first place in everything the family did. John had placed Sam first. Dean had always been the afterthought. When his father would come home from a hunt, Sam was always the first one he checked on, while Dean had been left to drag his father's heavy bag to a table and look it over, waiting 'til his father came back to settle heavily into a chair or onto a bed. Dean would always assure him he was doing the right things. Dean would bandage him up and get him a cup of coffee. Dean had given so damn much of himself that there was barely any Dean left, and for what? To be left like this? His world shattered around him? His father had given up his life for him. The one person he had loved was dead? Now the only salvation Dean had was Sam, and he knew that Sam could up and leave him at any moment. Deand was scared to death that he would be left with no one to turn to.

As he heard the water shutting off, Dean adjusted his position, coming out of his curled up position and trying to lie as he normally would. One of his hands stole under the pillow to wrap around his knife. His leg bent as he sprawled upon his stomach. He closed his eyes, trying to relax his body for the moment Sam came out. Dean didn't answer Sam's question right away, fearing his voice would crack if he did. There was a pang in him from hearing the question, because Dean himself had never had to ask Sam that. He'd always just acted. It seemed that of the two of them he was the one that knew his brother better. Lately Dean knew he'd been acting like an ass, but he felt that he had to be the strong one for Sammy's sake.

"Whatever, Sam, I'm just tired," Dean answered, lifting his head to look at his brother. He dropped back down again, knowing how cold that sounded. "I'm okay," he mumbled.

Sam said nothing else; he merely climbed into bed behind Dean and put his arms around his brother, snuggling tightly against his back. He didn't speak, because he knew that there were just no words that he could have said to make his brother feel better, but he held on tightly, letting his warmth seep into Dean's still body.

It was hard for Sam to accept, but somewhere deep down inside him, he knew that he'd been the favored one, and that his big brother, so loving and so needy, had to some extent been on the outside looking in for most of his life. He had counted on Dean being there for as long as he could remember, but he had also taken him for granted. When he'd gone off to college, he'd pushed Dean away without really thinking of the consequences, or of what that might do to Dean. He had to somehow make up for that, and he didn't know now if his guilt and misery would be accepted by his brother, or if Dean would push him away.

He wouldn't be at all surprised if Dean did. He knew that he deserved it.

Sighing again, Sam kissed the back of Dean's neck. "If it means anything at all, dude, I love you."

Dean lay still for several long breaths. Slowly, after a long silence, Dean's leg straightened, his body twisted and he turned to face his brother. His arms slipped around Sam, clinging to him tightly.

"I love you too, Sammy," he murmured and buried his face into his brother's chest.

End

---

Read Comments - Post Comment

| Back to My Stories –|– Email Dr. Ruthless |