Power of Two

Fandom: The X-Files

Category/Rated: NC17 for M/M sex, and 5 sugar cubes for unrelenting schmoop. You have been warned

Year/Length: ~7493 words

Pairing: Mulder/Krycek

Spoilers: Sleepless, TER/MA, oh, hell, the usual spoilers.

Disclaimer: I never took a nickel for it in my life, but they don't really belong to me and I know I shouldn't, it's just that I can't stop, dammit! Pity me in my addiction, nice Mr. Carter, and don't hurt me.

Author's Notes: No plot...what do you think I am? This is purely (or impurely, depending on how you view things.) a songfic, and it is for my Frankie, who asked for it a while back. It was her birthday, and this is late... very late.

Beta: Thanks to Orithain, who is giving up on me and commas, and starting on the semi colons. Also thanks to Rowanne and Paula, who seem determined to stamp out the British in my speech.

Picture the scene.

It was Saturday morning and the sun was shining, but in early April sometimes the sun can cloud over really fast, and a downpour isn't out of the question. The man running down the roadside seemed to know that, because from time to time he looked up at the skies as he ran. He was a tall man, lean, with a long-legged stride that ate up the distance as he loped along the road. He wore grey sweats and white trainers as he covered the ground, legs pumping, body stretching, animal-like in his single-minded purpose. The man ran on through the golden morning, inhaling the early scent of the coffee brewing in kitchens, mingled with the scent of the blossom that covered the trees along the way. His hair was spiky with sweat, and his body showed the strain of effort in the form of dark stains under his arms and in the small of his back.

Down the road, just around the bend beyond the residential area, another man awaited his coming. This man was an animal too, but his animal was not the gazelle. He was a predator, this man. He lurked quietly in the confines of an unmarked van and awaited his quarry. Relaxed, seemingly at his ease, he lounged with long legs stretched out before him. A glint of feral green eyes veiled by long, thick lashes was visible in the shadows if you knew where to look, and I'm sure that if you were to go too close, you would soon regret your foolhardiness.

The predator slouched on the bench seat of the van, eyes negligently watching the road behind through the side view mirror on the door of the van. Occasionally his eyes flicked over the dash, noting the time, but for the most part he appeared content to wait. He had the radio playing, and the sound of righteous rock music underscored the man's presence. He did not tap his foot. He did not shuffle his feet to the music. His every sense was trained on the road and he was still, waiting.

Time passed lazily by, and the air thickened as clouds covered the sun. A sharp intake of breath heralded the perception of movement in the distance. The predator's quarry paced himself easy along the pavement, legs pumping, body stretching. He was a fine machine, moving smoothly through space. The time had come, inexorable as the turn of planets. Above, the sky had darkened a little and the air was heavy with the scent of new mown grass The predator stretched lazy limbs, gathered his wits together and stepped out of the van. The runner loped on, approaching him, and now the predator could hear the crunch of feet on hardtop as he drew nearer.

For the first time, the predator showed a little uncertainty, licking his lips and adjusting the leather jacket that he wore. Finally, taking a deep breath, he stepped forward, out from the shelter of the van and into the road in front of the runner.

The runner did not immediately notice, but a low word of warning made him look up, and he came to a standstill as he arrived at the spot where the predator waited.

"Krycek? What do you want?" The runner stood, uncertain as the predator raked him with his eyes.

"You. I've come for you." It could be seen that the predator held a gun loosely in his right hand, but as he spoke, he dropped it negligently into his pocket. "I'm tired of all this pussyfooting about. I'm tired of sneaking around, of following you and watching you. I want to move on." He spread both hands, palms up, and stood, for a short moment vulnerable as he tried to convince the runner of his sincerity.

The runner looked at him thoughtfully. Worn jeans encased long, slightly bowed legs. He had powerful thighs, and denim was stretched tight over him leading upwards to the battered leather jacket over a white T-shirt. The palms extended towards him in a placatory manner were encased in black leather gloves, and the body before him had a coiled-spring tension that radiated from him like a tangible armor. He raised his eyes to take in the predator's face. His eyes were large and green, and there was a strangely soft expression in them just at that moment. Thick, dark lashes fringed the eyes, and winged eyebrows gave him a piratical expression. His tip-tilted nose lent him a strangely innocent appearance that belied the air of menace he exuded, and his mouth, currently at rest, had finely molded lips that concealed sparkling white teeth. A day's growth of beard darkened his jaw, and his hair, cut short, was a glossy cap of chestnut.

"So move on then. What's keeping you?" The runner was at ease now, his carriage relaxed, poised on the balls of his feet. He stared a challenge at the man facing him, waiting, knowing that there was going to be more, but not quite sure what to expect from him.

Without warning, the man in the leather jacket stepped in close, hand out to pull him in by the back of the neck, and fixed his lips onto the runner's mouth. The kiss was the last thing he had expected, and for a moment he remained unmoving as the other man's mouth moved on his, then he stiffened, pushing the other man away as he did so. Krycek maintained his hold on the other man, merely rearing his head back slightly to look into the other man's eyes.

"It's not so easy, Mulder. I can't just leave you behind. I've tried, God knows I've tried to leave you behind, but it's just not possible. Either you come with me or we don't move." Krycek's voice, always husky, was ragged with need as he finally expressed his feelings. Leaning in again, in a sudden, darting motion, he once more kissed the other man's lips. This time Mulder was ready for him, and the contact was fleeting. Mulder stepped back, throwing off the other man's steadying hand.

"Krycek, what do you hope to gain by this?" The confusion on his face was overlaid somewhat by irritation, but he was bearing up surprisingly well for a man who had just been roundly kissed by someone he had always considered to be an enemy. Krycek took the other man's arm and tugged him in the direction of the van.

"Come on. Come and talk for a minute or two; it won't cost you anything except perhaps a little of your time." Mulder resisted moving for a briefly before allowing himself to be dragged towards the van. "Please, Mulder." The runner arrived at the van and leaned on the side paneling, one eyebrow raised in sardonic inquiry.

"Ok, Krycek. You'd better tell me what warped idea you have in your diseased mind. I'm perfectly happy without you." Mulder dropped to the grass and lounged there. Krycek remained standing, hunched up against the side of the van. Now that he had achieved his objective of getting Mulder to listen to him without hitting him, he seemed a little unsure of how to continue. "Krycek?"

The standing man frowned as he tried to order his words so that he could convey his feelings without ambiguity. "You know, Mulder, I've shadowed you for five years. I've watched over you. I've protected you. Man, I've killed for you. You don't know the things I've done for you; you really don't. I'm just tired of all the fighting. I want to come in out of the shadows. I want to have you beside me, not behind me with your gun out." He threw himself down onto the grass alongside his companion, moodily plucking a grass stalk and chewing on it pensively. "Fuck it. I don't know how to say this, but I want you to come with me. Come with me today. It's Saturday morning and if you give me 24 hours to make my peace with you, I promise that you will never see me again if you don't want to. Please, Fox, I want to leave at peace with you. I think it's time."

Mulder rolled to lie on his back, eyes closed, allowing the sun to warm him. His brow was furrowed as he pondered. Krycek watched him, still and quiet, strain beginning to appear on his face as he waited. Finally, the grey-clad runner sat up. He was about to open his mouth when the first, fat globules of rain began to spatter down on them. With a grunt, Krycek pushed himself to his feet and opened the door of the van and gestured, inviting Mulder to sit inside, out of the weather. Mulder paused, and then as the rain began to come down hard, he shrugged his shoulders, eased himself to his feet and took long legged strides over to the van, inserting himself into the passenger seat with an economy of movement that bespoke his physical fitness.

As he closed the door, Krycek moved around to the driver's side and climbed in. He turned to the other man as the rain suddenly turned into a downpour. "See, I saved you from a soaking." He smiled a little as he spoke, and Mulder, who had been brooding, looked over at him and leaned forward.

"Ok, Krycek, you've got 24 hours. What now?" He spoke in his usual quiet manner, carefully schooling both features and voice into neutrality. Krycek looked over at him and smiled again, tentatively connecting, his normally hard, green eyes gentle as he started up the engine of the van.

"I've got everything we need except for some clothes for you. Do you want to call in and change, or are you going to stay like that for the weekend?" He gestured at the stained sweats that Mulder was wearing, and Mulder finally cracked a smile as he studied himself.

"It would certainly encourage you to keep your distance if I stayed like this, wouldn't it?" The laconic voice had a glimmer of humor in it as he spoke, and Krycek reached out to squeeze Mulder's thigh gently, once, before pulling away and heading for Mulder's apartment. Arriving shortly after, they noticed that the parking lot was close to empty, and it occurred to Mulder that everyone must have taken advantage of the first nice weekend of spring. As they pulled up outside the apartment, Mulder hopped out of the van and waited. Krycek noticed after a minute or two and got out too, together they walked over to the main doors.

"I was going to wait for you. I didn't think you were going to want me in your apartment." Krycek's stride was as graceful as Mulder's. He still radiated an aura of danger, though for this minute, the predator inside him lay hidden.

"You've been in here so many times in the past that I'm sure one more is not going to make any difference." He was unlocking the door to apartment 42 as he spoke. "I'm going to take a quick shower. Sit down, and I'll be with you in a few moments." So saying, he made his way towards the bathroom, stripping off his shirt as he went. Krycek watched him disappear into the bathroom; the loose elastic was slung low around his hips, and he watched with evident admiration as the muscles of his back slid beneath his skin.

Mulder had showered and changed his clothing. He was now clad in faded denim jeans and a sweatshirt that had seen better days. His hair was still damp, and he smelled faintly of a spicy cologne that made Krycek's head swim. They made their way back to the van, and Mulder tossed his overnight bag into the back. He noticed a large cooler and a small suitcase in the rear of the vehicle.

"You were pretty sure of yourself, it seems to me." His voice had a trace of irritation in it as he spoke.

"Mulder, it didn't matter what you said; I was going to go this weekend. The only difference is where would be my destination. I'm so glad you decided to come with me, baby. I promise that whatever happens, you won't regret your decision." He leaned forward to turn on the stereo, and the air was suddenly filled with the sleazy, easy beat of Robert Plant's "Big Log." Alex pulled out onto the road and began to sing as he headed out of the city.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Mulder's mild inquiry broke through Alex's serenade.

"Yeah, I've got a cabin out in the woods. I thought we could go there and talk. Maybe you'd like to do a little fishing too? I want you to be relaxed. It's important that we get everything straightened out." Alex appeared at that moment to be carefree and happy. Mulder watched him for a while. He was concentrating on his driving and did not seem to be aware of his companion as he sang along tunefully to the oldies that played on his stereo. As they left the city behind them, Alex turned to Mulder, eyes shining as he drove.

"We'll be there soon, Fox. Thank you for coming." Mulder stared blindly at him. He was, at that moment, experiencing a piercing, knife-like pain as his memories, long ago ruthlessly put aside, suddenly flooded through him. He was recalling the feel of Alex as they held each other close the night after Alex had killed Augustus Cole. He remembered the sweetness of him and then the agony as he had realized the extent of Alex's betrayal. He closed his eyes and leaned back as the feelings of loss and hurt swept though him, delivering a psychic punch that was more painful than any torture. Alex, who had been driving along happily until this minute, happened to glance at him and then pulled over onto the hard shoulder when he saw the man's stricken face. "What is it, Mulder?"

His hand went out to touch Mulder's face gently, and his eyes clouded as he saw the suffering on the other man's face.

"What is it?" he asked again. Mulder seemed to come to himself and visibly put his thoughts aside for the time being. Turning to Alex, he shook his head slightly, pointing to the road. He averted his face as he spoke, shrugging off Alex's tentative touch and leaving him looking desolate.

"Drive. Let's not hang around, please." The rain by this time had ceased, and the trees that lined the roadside were glistening in the bright sunlight. Alex threw the van into gear once again and pulled away. A short time later he pulled off the highway once again and began to drive down a rough, unmade road through increasingly thick bush. The road wound and pretty soon began to climb as well, and Mulder was bounced unmercifully as the van moved on.

"Sorry. The van is built to travel best when it's carrying a couple of tons load. It will be a little rough for a half hour or so, but it will be worth it, I promise you." He turned the music up, and once more began to sing along with the music. After a moment, Mulder joined in, massacring the song that was playing.

"You like the Indigo Girls, Mulder?" Alex grinned as he listened to the raucous voice being raised in song beside him.

"I love this song," came the reply, followed by a sudden and thoughtful silence. Nothing more was said as the van jolted the rest of the way.

After another 30 minutes or so, the van emerged into a clearing. A small log cabin nestled in the thickly wooded area at the back of the clearing. It was fronted by a small garden that had obviously been worked on recently. Everything was well kept, and the glitter of water shone through the trees to one side of the cabin.

Alex pulled the van up at the side of the small building and hopped out, trotting around to haul the baggage out of the back of the vehicle. Mulder followed at a leisurely pace, taking in his surroundings as he did so. It was now close to one p.m., and the sun was shining down with a surprising intensity for the time of year. Alex grabbed the cooler and set it down beside the van, then crossed to the door of the cabin and unlocked it, throwing the door back.

Bending, he picked up Mulder's bag, slinging it over his shoulder and then grabbed his own case, grinning over his shoulder as he made his way into the cabin. From where Mulder was standing, in full sunlight, it was extremely difficult to see in past the comparative darkness, and after a minute or two of waiting, he sighed, picked up the cooler and went inside.

Entering the cabin, Mulder paused on the threshold, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the gloom. The single room was furnished sparsely. The furniture appeared comfortable, and there was a large fireplace in one corner. Above his head there was a sleeping loft, and Mulder could see brightly colored fabric spread on a low bed. The same bright colors were evident in the furniture covers and window drapes. Copper pots hung from the high ceiling, and there were strings of onions and bunches of dried herbs hanging around the window. Colorful rugs lay on the wooden floor, and the whole place was tidy and shining. Mulder looked around in amazement at the place.

"Is this yours, Krycek? Do you live here?" He raised a quizzical eyebrow at Alex, who was busily stowing items in various cupboards.

"Yeah, it's mine. I don't precisely live here, but I've been spending a lot of time here lately. Do you like it?" Mulder looked at his companion with great interest. There was obviously a lot he didn't know about this man.

Alex finished unpacking his stuff and turned to the cooler. "Are you hungry? I brought lunch for us so we wouldn't have to wait. Just say the word, and I'll get it ready." Mulder nodded, a little vacantly as he continued to inspect the cabin. There were shelves lining the walls, and they were covered with books and papers. He drifted over and began to peruse the collection. Krycek was obviously a sci-fi buff. A guitar sat in the corner of the room, and Mulder indicated it.

"Do you play?" As soon as he asked, he regretted it as a look of sheer misery clouded Alex's features.

"I used to. I can't now, of course." The voice was soft, introspective, and Mulder felt very bad as he realized how tactless his question had been.

Krycek moved to the cooler and picked it up. He had hung his jacket behind the door and was now dressed only in his T-shirt and jeans. He headed for the door, breaking the uncomfortable silence that seemed to be developing.

"Come on, Mulder. The day's too nice to waste." As they headed out of the cabin, it suddenly occurred to Mulder that he had begun to follow Krycek without question, and he wondered how that had happened. Alex, meanwhile, had turned the corner and was following a trail that led around the side of the cabin and into the trees. Twigs and pine needles crunched satisfyingly under foot and slight puffs of breeze raised the hairs on the perplexed agent's forearms. All around him, the hum and chirrup of warm things growing, and the scent of hot pine needles laid a blanket of sensuality over him. All in all, it was not the worst way to spend a Saturday morning, company excepted.

Ah, yes, the company. What the fuck was going on there?

Alex was maybe half a dozen paces in front of him and moving with studied grace through the spring-inspired generosity of growing things. He prowled, Alex did, sinuous glide from the hip and the play of muscles beneath the skin clearly visible beneath worn, frayed denim that coated him like a second skin. Watching him took Mulder places he did not want to go.

Not an option, not any more. Don't even think about it, Mulder!

But he was. He was thinking about it. He was remembering a night dim-distant and gratefully forgotten until now. He was picturing again a young Alex, wide-eyed and needy, responding to his tongue, and his mouth, whispering love to him in that seductively husky voice.

His cock remembered too. He was hard inside his jeans and thankful that Alex was preceding him through the bush. He adjusted his sweatshirt, hoping to hide the evident arousal he was experiencing, and tried to think of something educational.

The pathway took a sudden turn around a rocky outcrop that was almost as large as the cabin they had come from. Rounding it, he almost crashed into Alex, who had paused to strike a theatrical pose. He stood, arm outstretched to display the vista that had appeared before them. The trees stopped at the edge of a low cliff, and the path fell away into a series of rough, wooden steps leading down to a tiny beach. A lake, maybe two miles long, extended out in front of them, water glittering for them as they gazed, transfixed by the beauty of the scene. Large rocks that lay in a tumble surrounded the beach. Beyond the rocks the cliff dropped, and elsewhere the trees swept down to the waterside. Electric blue damselflies darted hither and yon, and a fish-eagle on the very top of the rocky point gazed benignly into the water. Mulder couldn't help himself. He caught his breath.

Together the two of them descended onto the beach, and Alex led him around the rocks to where a wooden picnic table and benches stood.

Placing the cooler on the table, Alex turned to Mulder, smile wide and white in a way that Mulder had not seen before. The man looked somehow.... content. No, that wasn't quite it. He looked resigned.

"What do you think, Mulder?"

The question dropped out of the air to graze his ears as Krycek busied himself unpacking the cooler. It suddenly dawned on Mulder that Alex had been avoiding eye contact with him since their first meeting that morning and that his fussing was indicative of unease rather than domesticity. The tone of his voice as he asked his apparently nonchalant question was careful, but Mulder had caught the need, the longing that lay behind the inquiry, and it made him shiver.

"Pretty, Krycek, very pretty. I'm jealous." The words were a platitude, but Krycek's eyes flew to check out his expression as he spoke, and Mulder knew at that moment what Krycek's intention truly was.

"Sit. It's all ready."

Food was spread like offerings on an altar. A loaf of French bread, butter, potato salad, cold chicken and crispy greens, apple pie and a bottle of wine were all laid ready. Krycek's anxious eyes brooded as he awaited Mulder's approval.

He sighed and sat, meeting Krycek's solemn gaze with his own guarded smile.

"This looks great, thanks."

He really was hungry, and between the two of them, the food didn't stand a chance. Finally, they sat in comparative relaxation, Mulder idly picking at the chicken bones while Alex poured the last of the wine into Mulder's glass.

"Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me?"

To his amazement a flush spread over Krycek's features, and he hunched a little.

"I've had as much to drink as you. Are you afraid that you might give in?"

Mulder regarded Krycek, who was desperately attempting to appear unconcerned as he fiddled around, repacking the cooler. He tidied away the signs of their lunch, tossing crumbs to the birds and crushing the garbage into a bag he had brought with him. Mulder watched him as he worked, and finally knew that now was the time.

"OK, Krycek. It's time we quit tiptoeing around each other and started to level. What's on your mind?" Mulder swirled the remains of the wine around in his glass as he studied the other man. For a minute more, Krycek continued to fiddle with the cooler, but finally he stopped, and Mulder saw him take a visible, deep breath before meeting his level stare.

"This is my last chance, Mulder. It could even be my last day, depending on... certain things that might happen. You probably don't care, but out of everyone that was ever in my life, I wanted to spend today with you." The small catch in Krycek's voice didn't go unnoticed. Mulder nodded as he heard Krycek confirming his suspicions of what he intended to do.

"Krycek, are you ok? I mean, are you sick or what?"

"No, not sick, not really. I'm just tired. I'm tired of it all, Mulder. I'm tired of rying, tired of being alone, and tired of loving you." He raised hard, glittering eyes to challenge Mulder, every inch of him radiating insecurity overlaid by bravado. Mulder's belly suddenly decided that now was the time to tie itself in knots. Images rose unbidden of Alex, sweet Alex, lying under him, face contorted with effort as he was fucked. Mulder recalled with sudden clarity the taste of his mouth, the strength of his body and the piercing, slick delight of being possessed by the strange being facing him.

"What happened, Alex? I loved you so much, and you betrayed me. I never understood." Mulder's voice was flat, desolate. Alex sat hunched, protecting himself from who knew what imagined threat.

"I was owned. I had no choice. I gave it all up for you, Fox. The day they realized I couldn't kill you was the end for me. Since then, I've watched over you and never been able to tell you why." His voice caught again, and he stood jerkily, turned away from the table and stalked down towards the lakeside where he stood tossing pebbles into the water. Mulder could see the lines of tension radiating from the man's back, and after a minute or two spent watching him, he rose and made his own way over to stand beside him.

"Krycek, there must..." His voice tailed off as Krycek whirled to face him, tears shining on his cheeks as he raised his chin defiantly, in a gesture that was purely Krycek. Mulder's stomach suddenly melted, and a shockwave seemed to radiate through his entire system. His mouth, all moisture evaporated from it, formed a perfect O of astonishment.

"Don't you get it, Fox?" Quiet, bitter voice thundering inside his emotions, "I love you. That's why I can't do it any more. It's all because of you."

Mulder took a step backwards. His body kept demanding that he put an arm around the distraught man and offer him whatever comfort he could, but his brain, always a nuisance, kept up a litany of Alex Krycek's transgressions, both real and imagined.

Your father... if not your father, then Scully. What about Melissa? What about you? He left you, the bastard. Will you just forgive him for that?

Twice he tried to speak but no words would come. Alex stood before him, miserable and exposed while the sun shone, the birds sang, the lake before them lapped the shore like the kiss of a lover, and lives were started and ended all around them.

Krycek was the first to move, stepping a little closer to Mulder and bending to pick up a pebble, then straightening to skim it across the hematite surface of the lake. Shading his eyes to watch it bounce over the water, he stood shoulder to shoulder with Mulder, apparently unconcerned about his proximity to him.

For Mulder, it felt as if all moisture had vanished from his mouth and his tongue had grown to an impossible size. He swallowed with a dry click and tried to determine what the hell was going on inside of him. It had become obvious to him that Alex was going to kill himself. A part of him cheered and gibbered in violent glee

The fucker done you wrong, Fox Mulder, now he's paying. Enjoy!

as he considered the pain that must have led Krycek to this state.

The other part of him, still flashing pictures of the two of them entwined, naked in passion, wept for Krycek as he had been and for the man as he was now, beautiful, desolate, and brought at last to face himself.

He could be mine again, I know it. Mine, with all the treachery and pain that would entail.

He wanted Krycek. He wanted him badly. His whole body was vibrating its insistence and its desire for this man. His cock was practically punching a hole through the soft, often-washed denim of his jeans.

It would take so little. I could fuck him now and leave. He would... do it... and nobody would be the wiser. Nobody would ever know.

He would know. Damned straight! He couldn't do that. That would make him as bad as....

Don't go there, Mulder.

It could have been the sun, shining warm and life-giving on limbs that had been starved for heat throughout the long winter. It could have been the heady resinous scent of the pines inducing its own brand of spring worship. It could have been Krycek's own forlorn beauty getting to him at last; a god, entombed in ice for an eternity, would look this way. Or maybe it could have been the wine. Oh, yes, it most definitely could have been the wine. It had been very good wine, crisp and cold, and it had produced the kind of buzz that gave special meaning to a spring Saturday.

So, for whatever reason and he never did isolate it, Mulder suddenly ceased to think, to reason, to extrapolate, and became instead a conduit for the day, the sensuous day. His body made his mind up for him.

He reached out and put his hands on Alex's shoulders, gently but insistently pulling him close. He saw a look of blind panic segue into dawning realization as he leaned forward and brushed Alex's lips with his .

And that was all it took.

Those lips were soft. They were sweet and pliant under his, and now he remembered. Now he knew how much he had loved this man. It was almost too much for him, this connection, and he moaned, pulling Krycek in and sucking, licking and finally crushing the other man as he renewed his acquaintance with that honeyed mouth.

Krycek tasted of apple pie and good wine. Mulder ran a questing hand over the back of his neck and up through his short hair, pressing him closer as that kiss grew deeper, deeper and more insistent. Tongues danced and snaked as the two of them finally became in tune with the day. Somehow, somewhere along the line the two of them had sunk to their knees on the sand, and it was becoming a task now to keep breathing as they clutched at each other with growing, passionate desperation.

Mulder was rediscovering with a certainty he had thought forever lost that he could not bear to let this man go. Somehow Alex had placed a hand around his heart, and to leave now would doom him to be forever more alone. Only the two of them together could possibly get through the things they needed to face.

There, kneeling with his enemy beside the lake, Mulder realized at last that he was no longer alone. He brought his hands up to the sides of Alex's face and cradled his head gently as he kissed the corners of his mouth, his eyes, the tip of his nose, and back, whisper soft, to brush his lips again.

Tears were rolling down Alex's cheeks, huge, fat drops that welled up and dropped like rain from the shining green eyes. He was not sobbing. His face was still set in the small, tremulous smile that affected Mulder like a punch to the gut. Mulder answered smile with smile, and his thumbs caressed the tears before he bent to lick them away.

"Hello, you." Gentle voice, gentle smile, gentle, loving Mulder and Alex shook his head, unable to speak for that brief moment. There was a pause during which they remained kneeling, body pressed to body, Mulder's hands holding Alex's face, and Alex, arm around Mulder's waist, pulling him into their close embrace. Then, slowly, Mulder stooped, turning Alex's face up to allow him access to his throat. He buried his face in Alex's neck, inhaling his scent as he sucked on the soft skin there, marking Alex as his.

"M... Mulder," a croak of flat panic causing Mulder to pause in his browsing and lift his head to face the man he was holding so tightly.

"It's OK, Alex, hush now." Covering the other man's mouth with his own, he gave him the only answer he knew to the question that remained unspoken in the green eyes. Alex relaxed into the kiss, settling himself to return it as best he could. Mulder knew that it was ok for now, that any fears Alex might have were not riding his shoulders right at that minute.

The T-shirt Alex was wearing was pushed up and then yanked off by a Mulder who was well on the way to a state of mindless ecstasy. He fumbled, frustrated, for Alex's nipples, and finding the webbing that held his prosthesis intrusive, began to remove that too.

Alex stiffened.

"It's ok." Mulder said again "I want to feel you against my skin. There are so many things in the way. Please, baby, let me... " Alex groaned, throwing his head back and allowing Mulder to complete his task, then, with a sly, sideways smile, he began to strip Mulder.

Finally naked, the two of them fell back for a moment, checking each other out as they reclined in the sand.

The sun was hot and nudity seemed not only desirable but necessary as it beat down on them. Alex's body was taut and trim, golden fuzz on his arms and legs and nestling comfortably around his penis. Mulder remembered that penis as it reared before him, and the shivers began to play up and down his spine as he rolled lazily towards Alex, opening sensual lips to lick around the top of it. Alex cried out as he did so, arching back as Mulder slowly sucked him into the liquid satin heat of his mouth. He remembered the taste of Alex and the scent of him, rolling his tongue to lap up the droplets that welled from the eye of his cock and sucking the helmet in through pursed, wet lips. As he took hold of the sac that contained Alex's balls, he could feel the tight ridges as the skin drew up over the testicles beneath. Mulder rolled them in his hand as he sucked on Alex's cock.

Alex, his legs spread wide, now lay stretched on the sand, hand buried in Mulder's hair as he gave himself up to the pleasure Mulder's mouth was offering him.

Mulder could feel from the jerking and trembling that Alex was close to coming. He pulled away and watched him as he lay, gasping and helpless. Alex cried out in frustration as Mulder leaned back. He opened wild, green eyes, searching for the man who had been deep throating him only seconds before.

"Don't...please don't stop... I need..." Mulder moved up to seal his mouth to Alex's, his hands soothing and gentling as he stroked the desperately writhing man in his arms.

"Wait, Alex, just hold on and we'll come together." Alex was suckling on his neck now, grinding his quivering cock against him as hard as he could. When Mulder seized his hip and steadied him again, another little croak issued from the general direction of Krycek's busily sucking mouth, and for some reason this small sound touched him more than anything that had gone before. Lacking any lubrication that was within arms' reach, he sucked on his fingers, moistening them with saliva and a little of the grease from the chicken that remained on his hands. He slid his hand down between Alex's splayed legs to find the small rosette of puckered muscle beyond which lay pleasure if he could draw it out. He circled it gently a few times before slipping his finger inside.

Alex, who had managed to regain a small amount of composure, lost it again as Mulder's questing finger skimmed the little gland inside his ass. His cock twitched and oozed, and he cried out. Mulder lowered his head once more to Alex's groin and engulfed his cock, this time sliding down to take it completely into his mouth as he swallowed against it.

Alex's spine bowed, and Mulder could hear the crackle of the bones in his back. He spasmed, jerking helplessly, and then came, screaming his love out across the still lake water as he spurted endlessly into Mulder's greedily sucking mouth.

Finally releasing Alex's slowly deflating cock, Mulder moved to plant a row of small kisses along the golden arrow of fur that traced a line from Alex's navel down to his pubis.

He felt powerful.

As he surveyed the wreckage of his newly re-discovered lover, he felt invincible. Alex lay gasping on the sand, chest heaving as he recovered from what appeared to have been a totally mind blowing experience.

Mulder, whose hard-on was still standing proud, gradually worked his way up to Alex's face and applied his lips to Alex's, plunging his tongue deep as he shared the taste of his come. Alex moaned again as he clutched at Mulder, tongue sliding over soft tissue and past hard teeth to tease the sensitive interior of his mouth.

Drawing apart at last, Mulder busied himself nuzzling into the curve of Alex's neck. He was surprised when Alex, who had recovered somewhat, flipped him over onto his back, rolling to lie on top of him, one knee between his thighs as he reached to take hold of Mulder's by now aching erection.

Lifting his hand to his mouth, Alex fixed him with his intense green stare and then deliberately licked his own palm before moving it back down to grasp him, sliding it up and down the shaft. Mulder's breathing began to grow ragged, and Alex, still gazing into his eyes, said all in a rush "It's your turn, Fox. It's your turn now.

Mulder managed a smile. "It won't take much, I'm nearly there already." He hissed a breath out through his teeth as Alex squeezed his shaft in answer to his words, stroking across the crown to spread the steadily leaking pre-ejaculate. He closed his eyes, and Alex stopped, moving his hand away from Mulder's cock.

"No. You have to keep your eyes open. I want to watch you come. It's been so long." Small grin from Mulder who felt as if he was becoming some sort of cabaret act, and Alex licked again, returning his hand to toy with Mulder, skimming it over steadily pulsing hardness, sending waves of feeling through him, driving him nuts

//Jesus, Alex, this is cruelty.//

as he writhed, trying to achieve more pressure.

"Alex, Alex, please."

"Oh, God, Fox, right now, I'm going to give it to you right now."

The hand came up for more saliva, which was gently stroked onto his desperate cock, then Alex, never losing eye contact, reared up to straddle Mulder. He placed the tip of Mulder's cock against his own recently invaded asshole. Mulder groaned, and Alex bore down, forcing the tip through the tightness of the sphincter muscles and into the silky-feeling heat and tightness of the sheath that lay beyond. Now it was Mulder's turn to cry out, and he did, vaguely muffled obscenities that had to do with himself and Alex, making Alex laugh out loud as he continued to gaze lovingly into Mulder's eyes and

Pushed

Twisting, grinding down hard, sinking onto Mulder's cock, while it signaled frantic joy to its owner.

Mulder felt as if his cock had expanded to fill the universe. He thought he was on fire, the sharp, tart sting of insufficient lube providing counterpoint to the pulsing heat of the sheath that encased him. He felt ripples of flame running up and down his cock as he strained, strained to get inside Alex, inside him for just one more fraction of an inch.

Alex was now totally impaled on the throbbing length of him and had begun to move. He used an easy, twisting motion that cranked his muscles up tight and sent the tendrils of delicate, tickling sweetness out from the inside of his thighs and from the small of his back, up his spine to the nape of his neck. His balls felt as if they were going to explode, and he was drowning, drowning in the green eyes that were greedily drinking in his drawn face and his bitten lip. He felt a sudden surge and tightness in his balls and he

Squeezed

Thrusting upwards, ass-cheeks clenched while - o god this was wonderful, this was it - he felt it all surge though him, pumping, moisture spurting, deep inside Alex as he cried out that Alex was his now, his forever and they were now two, not one.

Two together.

Grey out, and his lover collapsed to lie against him, occasionally lapping the sweat from his skin as he mumbled small words of love to a semiconscious Mulder.

"Alex?" Alex, his head pillowed in the crook of Mulder's arm, tilted his head so he could meet his lover's eyes, cocking a quizzical eyebrow at Mulder. "Alex, tell me you're not going to kill yourself. Tell me you're going to come back with me and give this thing between us a chance."

"Mulder, I never felt less like killing myself than I do at this moment, but you know there are so many monsters out there, so many nightmares. I couldn't take any more. I just wanted to reset everything and start over." His husky voice brushed gooseflesh over Mulder's sun-warmed body, and Mulder shivered, tightening his arms around Alex, who still seemed to have tears in his eyes.

"It's funny. I feel as if I've been in a cage, locked up, and now I'm free. I don't know how it happened, but it has. I love you, Alex."

"Oh, Fox." Tears again from Alex, as he nuzzled his face into the skin of Mulder's shoulder to wipe them away, right hand far too busy caressing and stroking to come to his aid. "Prosty menya pozhaluysta." He dragged his tongue over Mulder's fine skin as he spoke.

"What the fuck is that, Krycek?" Mulder grinned affectionately down at his lover as he spoke, and then winced when Alex pinched his nipple sharply.

"Be nice, I was apologizing to you, Fox; it means 'Please forgive me'." Alex squirmed up to kiss Mulder, long, deep, tender slither of lip over lip, and tongue meeting tongue. The fingers tracing Mulder's nipple plucked at it and then when it crinkled and rose up, set to brushing backwards and forwards over it, delicately. Mulder lay, for the moment content to be loved by this man, arms about him in the sunshine, gently stroking and touching him after so long. Finally, when Alex pushed up to draw away from him, he captured Alex's face once again.

"Alex, listen to me. We've been alone and it didn't work for either of us. That's over now, hear me, it's over. Now there are two of us, and together we can face anything, do you understand me? Anything." He spoke passionately, and the man he was addressing closed his eyes for a moment.

"Fox, I was hurting so badly. All I wanted to do was turn it all off. I was going to take some pills and then swim out into the lake until everything stopped. I had it all planned out. The letter for you is back at your apartment." He gave a little laugh, and the thick, dark lashes rose again revealing his eyes, dilated pupils sucking him down into their depths. He leaned forward to kiss him again, relishing the sting of teeth as Alex sank them into his lower lip, laughing.

"Listen! There are two of us together now. We are stronger than any of it. We don't have to be alone ever again."

With a sigh, the two of them turned, side by side, arms around each other, to watch the lake.

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