Tough Love

Fandom: The X-Files

Category/Rated: NC17, slash

Year/Length: ~4010 words

Pairing: Mulder/Krycek Parody...

Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit, only having fun.

Author's Notes: I don't remember anything about this, but coming on it today made me laugh. I gather that it was written in a bout of amnesia for the Fight Club. Heh.

Something was wrong. Something was inherently wrong, and Alex was damned if he knew what it was. Yeah, Fox had been acting a little strange lately (stranger than usual), what with his sudden interest in his "Internet Community" and such, but Alex had been able to overlook his lover's intense interest in this hobby as nothing more than that -- a hobby. However, as weeks progressed, he began seeing a disturbing change in Fox. His usually high-maintenance lover was starting to slide. He'd let his hair grow longer and, as a result, it looked unkempt. He'd taken to wearing his glasses more and more; Alex suspected that Fox was spending far too much time in front of the computer screen.

Alex's cock agreed wholeheartedly.

But this, Alex thought, this was the last and final straw. He peered into the large canvas bag Fox had thrown carelessly in the back seat of his car. "*What* are those?" Alex's lazy voice betrayed nothing but a mild interest, but somehow Mulder still felt strangely sheepish as he quickly bundled up the objects Alex had been examining.

"Nothing." He looked away.

"Is that... *yarn*?" Alex had a faint trace of humor in his voice.

Fox tried for a joke. "Well you told me you wanted to spin a yarn... No! No, it's... uh... it's..." He thought frantically. "It's stuff I need for an X-File I'm working on... Gonna crochet my own handcuffs... " Fox was floundering helplessly, his usually quick mind clawing desperately at flimsy excuses, unable to find a convincing one.

Alex looked skeptical for a moment as he watched Fox's darting eyes. Yes, his lover *had* changed. His personality had, somehow, been altered. Quick green eyes darted across Mulder's face, measuring him. It was worse than he'd even suspected. "You're one of them. You've changed into one of THEM!" Joining an "Internet Community" was one thing. This was a whole other kettle of fish. One Alex intended to gut.

Mulder looked sheepish. "But... Alex... We need doilies for the coffee table... "

Oh dear God. Alex stuck the key into the ignition and hauled his fairly confused Foxlet home briskly. "That's it. I'm not putting up with any more of this shit. We're doing an Intervention, the Krycek way."

Inside the door to apartment 42, Alex turned to Fox, who was beginning to look a little worried.

As well he should have been, in Alex's opinion.

"Come here. "

Fox grabbed for his little tape recorder. "Okay, babe, but let me just take some notes for this story I'm writing."

Alex grabbed the tape recorder and hurled it to the floor with incredible force, then ground the pieces under his foot with a snarl. "No! No more! This is an addiction, Fox! You're sick! You need help!"

"But, baby... I'm writing an AU where you are a fairy, and turn into a mothman at night." Fox was trying hard to find something that might tempt his lover.

Alex Krycek curled his lip in total disbelief. For chrissakes... "Mulder... Fox, you're sick. It's an illness. It's like any addiction, and we need to break you of it." There was a pause. "A mothman? Like, with glowing red eyes and stuff?" And for a moment -- just a moment, Alex could feel the intoxicating pull of the story. Fox's enthusiasm and intensity was that infectious.

".And I need to get your voice right for when you...uh... What? No... green.. glowing green eyes." Fox's brow was furrowed as he tried to keep up with Alex.

Alex shook his head briskly. It had almost happened. He'd almost slipped. He'd almost slid helplessly into the fictional world that had been reflected in Fox's eyes and voice. "No! Dammit, Fox, don't make me hurt you." There was a slight pause. "Or do..."

Fox hadn't been listening. He was still caught up in the story that was bursting to flow from his fingertips. "I'm sending you up against the hideous Skinner...and we have a baby... Alex...?"

What had he just said? What was that? A what? A *baby*??? Alex drew his gun. "Okay, no more Mr. Nice-Assassin."

Fox looked uneasily at him. "Alex? Love? Cuddlywuddlyfluffybundle of mine?"

Alex shuddered at the saccharine sweetness in Mulder's tone. "What is it?" His voice was testy.

Fox spoke earnestly, rapidly, trying to break through the barrier that he sensed had sprung up between himself and his main squeeze. "Don't you think that we could somehow have a baby?"

Alex pretended to think it over. "Um... well, I suppose..." He paused. "If hell ever decided to freeze over first." He glared at Fox and his voice seemed to shoot up a couple of octaves. "A *BABY*?!?! Are you *HIGH*?" He shook his head in amazement. "No! Nonononono! Jesus Christ, what the fuck's the matter with you?"

"But think about it... All those folks that really love 'Life From the Ashes.' There must be something in it." He glanced at Alex's stony expression, and quailed. "But why not?"

Alex's voice rasped like a saw on metal. "Where would you like me to start? First of all, neither of us have a womb. Then, in case you've forgotten, I'm an *assassin.* I *kill* people, Fox. For a *living.* Not exactly parent material. And you... God, I shudder to think what sort of kid will spring up between my blatant homicidal tendencies, paired with my utterly amoral character, and you... well, all your family members have died or vanished under mysterious circumstances, and while everyone's been very nice about it so far, no adoption agency in the *world* is gonna put a kid in *your* care. Plus, let's not forget your obsessive, megalomaniacal, self-righteous search for the Truth. When are you gonna do diaper duty? Between hunting down mothmen and giant flukeworms? And there ain't no *way* I can change a diaper. Not with one hand." He sighed. "Fox, I'm going to say this once, and only once. Are we clear?"

"I just thought... " Fox gulped.

"If you don't snap out of this estrogen induced haze that you seem to have fallen into, and that includes the knitting, the bon-bon eating, (though not entirely the complete lack of hygiene, and the sad excuse for fashion sense) I swear that I *will*... kill you? No, too kind. I'll leave, Fox. We clear? Out like the sun, gone with the wind." Alex's anger was as bright and cutting as a razor, and his intent shone clear, making Mulder tremble.

He thought hard.

"But Alex... I need you. Who will look after the bunny if you leave me? Who will cook?" He looked at Alex from the corner of his eye. Nope, that hadn't done the trick. He tried again. "Don't you love to read the stories about us gazing longingly into each other's eyes? Doesn't it MEAN anything to you?"

Alex's face was vicious. "Sweetheart, the bunny's dead. And as for cooking, well... That's where the bunny went." He glanced at Fox's tummy, which didn't appear to be as toned and flat as it had been in the past. "And besides, you could do with a little less cooking." There was a moment's pause as he thought. "I happen to prefer the company of that egotistical, monomaniacal bastard, who wasn't afraid to throw a punch at me."

Fox sobbed into a lacy doily. "I thought you loved me. I only wanted to help you find true happiness."

Alex stared at him, dumbfounded. "True happiness? Are you completely bonkers? How the hell can you -- with all your baggage and issues -- help *me* -- with all my baggage and issues -- find true happiness? You can barely find your car keys on a good day!" He paused. "What's with the schmoop, Fox? What's happening here? I mean, that whole 'Fight Club' list thing... That's way hot, I always thought. There's none of this bullshit of gazing longingly into each others eyes there." Alex rolled his eyes at Fox's tears. "See? This is what I'm *talking* about! You've changed, Mulder. And maybe when you've changed back into that son-of-a-bitch I know and love, then I'll come back. Till then, it's sayonara, baybee."

"You mean you actually like it when I pin you up against the wall with my forearm and punch you in the solar plexus?" Fox waited, incredulous, as Alex turned to walk away. "Hey. You ain't going anywhere, Ratboy! "

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And I'd like to see what you're gonna do about it, Pillsbury Dough Boy." He poked Mulder's stomach, offensively. "Will you giggle if I do that?"

Mulder sighed. "No civilized manners, that's your trouble."

Alex poked his tummy again, mischief sparking in his eyes. "Go on, do it! Giggle!"

Mulder paused for one incredulous second, and then grabbed hold of Krycek's hair, yanking back hard, pulling him off balance.

Krycek growled, baring his teeth, and grinned nastily. "Oh, *I'm* scared."

"Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on. I'll show you." Mulder was furious.

Krycek sneered. "You're a better match for the horse, with the way your ass is spreading."

Mulder was in a snarling fury now. He attacked Krycek, still holding the hair. His arm flew, and he sank a punch into Alex's belly. Alex grunted, and then sneered again.

"So much for that search for the truth. Looks like you found it, and it was hiding in a box of Twinkies."

"Well, let's compare it with *your* Twinkie!" He managed, gritting out the words between clenched teeth. He knew that he was still as fit as he'd ever been, but Alex had flicked him on the raw. "Come on... I thought a little violence would get it up for you!" Mulder's flat voice was derisive.

Krycek yanked away, growling, before sinking his shoulder into Mulder's torso, slamming him against the wall. Mulder, stung, sank sharp teeth into Alex's neck and hauled back on his collar, efficiently cutting off his breath. "Violence'll have to do it, since you don't anymore." The words floated to his ears, the caressing voice sounding as unpleasant as any he had ever heard.

Fox moved instantly. a knee jerk reaction. His knee thrust into Alex's groin. Krycek snarled in pain and pushed hard against Mulder, landing them both on the couch. "Are ya pissed now, *Fox*? You don't *do* it for me anymore!"

Mulder growled, as his fingers clutched the other man's throat. "I'll fucking well do it for you now, little man. Just try and stop me." He groped for Alex's crotch.

"That ain't a Twinkie, sweetheart." Alex grinned nastily.

"No? Sweet, with a creamy filling, and I love to eat it? Where's the difference?" Mulder persisted, his hand fumbling for Alex's zipper.

"Twinkies are *small*." Alex's sneer was blunt. He seemed to have become someone that Mulder no longer knew. "Twinkies are *small* and *soft,* Fox," he spat. "'Course, 'round you lately, I'm nothing *but* soft. Hell, you're worse than a chick. If I'd *wanted* a chick, I woulda nailed Scully. Fuck knows I've had ample opportunity."

Mulder lost his temper all over again, starting to punch Alex. His mind was reeling. "You rat bastard," he snarled.

Krycek returned punch for punch, jabbing where he could, but at a disadvantage with his single, useful arm. "Do it, Mulder! Do it, or have you started to hit like Scully, too?"

Mulder, fists flying now, was really angry. He pulled Alex forward and smacked his forehead into the bridge of Alex's nose. "You take that back, you supercilious fuck, or I'll have to show you who's the boss."

Alex dropped to his knees, a little blood dripping from his nose. Mulder fumbled for control. He reached, missed, and then with a growl, ripped Alex's shirt open. "I thought so. Hit just like a little girl." Alex smiled through the blood.

"I don't hit like a girl... and you're gonna admit that to me." Mulder dived onto Alex, bearing him back down so that his head smacked against the floor. His hands went to Alex's throat once again. "Want me to show you?"

Krycek spat on him. "Show me *what*? Show me how you hit like a chick? You couldn't show anyone who's boss, Mulder," * Alex smiled through the blood, his face a study in sarcasm. "Hell, if I was gonna fuck you, I wouldn't know where to stick my cock, you've turned into such a chick."

"I always knew you didn't know how to do it, you little asshole. I'll show you where it goes." Mulder felt the cold thrill of rage as he processed Alex's scorn. He wanted to wipe the annoying grin off that sensual face, to make him beg.

"How *can* you?" Alex sneered tauntingly. "I woulda thought you'd have yours all tucked away by now."

Mulder gasped, and flailed with his fists, beside himself with outrage. His fury was incandescent. Lashing out, he landed a couple of punches to Alex's jaw, and one into the midriff. Reaching down, he began to rip at Alex's belt, unfastening the jeans that Alex wore.

He wasn't looking at Alex, who smiled smugly while Mulder busy exacting his rage. Mulder was fumbling at his own clothing and trying his best not to get himself caught in his zipper. He was really hard.

"Mmm, if I'm lucky, maybe you'll suck cock like a chick too. You've willingly emasculated yourself every other fucking way," Alex said tauntingly.

Mulder looked at him. He was furious, but he was also really turned on. "You think I'm gonna give you a cheap thrill? I reckon not. This one's for me, you asshole." He pulled on Alex's legs, folding him in two and yanking on Alex's jeans until they were around his knees, revealing his ass, smooth and pale, and eminently fuckable. Mulder spat on his hand and stroked the moisture onto the head of his angry cock. As he placed it against Alex's puckered anus, he surprised a gasp out of the other man. "I'm almost impressed. You've still got something to fuck me *with.* " The husky voice dripped with sarcasm and something that almost sounded like contempt.

"Try this for size, you little rat!" Mulder gritted. He shoved forward. In his heart he knew it was going to hurt. He looked at it, poised to thrust into his lover. *It's big, and angry, and it ain't really lubed up.* Shrugging, he leaned forward.

Alex grunted, and spat blood at Mulder's face, gritting his teeth. "You call that a cock?"

Mulder was beside himself, pushing home now, driving it in as far as it would go, and he leant forward to bite Alex's chin, hard. "I guess that this is a mercy fuck, seeing as how you're gonna be begging me for mercy." Mulder's voice was scornful.

Krycek yelled out, not so much in pain, but because he was consumed with inordinate passion and arousal. Mulder was driving it really hard, pounding at Alex. He loved Alex, but he was so damned angry. He wanted to split Alex in two...and Alex felt so good!

"Come on, say it. You like it really. You want me to fuck you... say it...."

Alex dragged his tongue across bloody teeth and sneered "Don't you have some doilies to crochet?" His whole body tingled. He gasped, and tried to lift his hips to meet Mulder's thrusts. It hurt. God it hurt, but felt so fucking good. This was how it was meant to be. Hard and desperate, both of them out of their minds with passion and fury. Mulder looked at the blood welling in Alex's mouth, and had to taste it. He leant forward and licked, then pressed his mouth over Alex's, sucking at it...tasting blood, and stopping him from talking. Alex growled into the kiss and bit down hard on Fox's bottom lip, tasting blood other than his own as he did so. Without even trying to get away, Fox lifted a fist and punched the side of Alex's head with a growl.

Alex kissed Fox hard, brutally even, reaching down to grasp his own cock tightly. Mulder groaned into the kiss, and stepped up his movements, reaching with one hand to cover Alex's.

"Think that you're gonna get off, do you?"

"I know so. I gotta do it, since you can't seem to anymore..." The taunting voice shattered on Mulder's ears. Mulder held Alex's hand so hard that it couldn't move.

"You beg me, and I'll get you off. You don't get to help..." He stopped moving. He was panting a little, but aware that his actions would drive Alex crazy.

"Beg you? You? You doily crocheting, bon-bon eating sad excuse for a fuck? I wouldn't beg your pardon, Mulder." Alex ground his teeth, trying not to think about Mulder's hot cock inside of him, about his talented hand wrapped around his own hand and cock. Cold gelid sweat broke out on his back and neck, chilling him slightly.

"Oh, that's sad... Guess you really don't want me. Guess I'll just have to leave you to it then." Mulder gritted his teeth and pulled out... almost out but not quite. Alex bared his teeth again.

"Can't do anything all the way, can you? Always leaving things half-finished, doing things half-assed."

"Guess that you need something I just can't give you... That's so sad." He hung his head, and wondered if Alex would be able to take it, or if he'd crack. A gasp and a shiver, and he couldn't do it any more. Fuck! Plan B. "But I'm gonna leave you with a really, really good memory of me." He thrust back inside of Alex, his hand squeezing Alex's cock as he did, then he pressed in. "Come on...ask me. You want to come? Just ask me."

Alex tried not to whimper as Mulder's cock teased against him. The desire to thud his head against the floor was growing too hard to ignore. His erection was practically screaming for attention as the words formed themselves on his tongue. Something -- pride, perhaps, some twisted sense of masochism, maybe -- kept him from screaming out.

Godyesfuckmefuckmefuckmeplease! The words formed an unending loop in Alex's head as he writhed wantonly against Mulder's shaft. A low, feral groan formed in his throat as he started moving, grinding against Mulder's hand, dying for even a hint of friction.

"Ask me..." Fox thrust. "Come on. How hard can it be?" He thrust again. "I'll do anything... anything. What do you want?"

Another whimper formed in Alex's throat.

"DO IT! DO IT, FOX! FUCK ME! FUCK ME *HARD*, YOU SICK, SADISTIC, TWISTED *FUCK*!"

Fox was close to extremis, his eyes half lidded as he shook, and continued to hold back.

"I want to hear you scream my name..." There was a sudden tremor through him as he realized what Alex had screamed "Oh, Jesus!" His hips plunged, and he grabbed hold of the cock under his fingers, started to pull on it. He'd lost it. You couldn't have stopped him if you tried. He had to plough into that heat, had to make Alex scream. He was driving Alex hard... Alex's head connected with the wall each time Fox pushed forward. Alex groaned, letting his head thud against the floor in rhythm with each demanding thrust into him

Alex felt nothing other than the foreign heat that pushed hard into him. He was barely aware of his head banging into the wall, but only barely. "Jesus, yes... fuckyes... Godfox...harder...harder Fox..."

"Yes...my name... say it, you bastard, tell ME..."

Mulder was graying out now, feeling the tightness along his inner thighs as he sensed the rising of juice from his balls. Alex arched suddenly into Mulder's hand, coming in hard, shuddering jerks as he screamed hoarsely.

"Fuck YES, Fox!"

That did it. He was suddenly rigid, trying for breath that just wouldn't fill his lungs. His lungs pulled for air that they just couldn't find. He was jammed into the heat of Alex while he pumped everything that he was into him. Alex writhed on the floor beneath Mulder.

Narrowing his eyes, Alex concentrated on the face of his lover. Mulder's features were sheened in sweat, his face a mask of pure passion as straight teeth sank hard into that bitable lower lip. Alex found himself licking his own lips in turn, tasting both blood and Mulder on them. "Come in me, you bastard. Do it, Fox. Come inside of me, you sick fucker."

Mulder had his head back, and his eyes rolled up, all he could feel was the satin-slick walls of Alex's ass sucking him dry, and that voice - he loved that voice. "Oh, my God... That was... " Fox lay, head pillowed on his lover, limp and gasping. "That was amazing... I hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Alex grinned, satisfied. "It was, wasn't it?" He wiped the blood from his face. "Got any crocheting urges now, Foxy?" Alex closed his eyes. Yes, it had hurt, but... "S-so good though..."

"You know what I want? I've got an urge to try your Twinkie now..."

Alex opened one eye, sleepily. "Don't call it a Twinkie, dammit."

"Well it beats 'Mr. Wiggly.'" 'Mulder's mild protest came out of the void, and Alex cringed.

"Call it that, and I'll shoot you. No second thoughts." Alex's eyes flashed.

"God, baby, you always know how to make me crazy. Do you want to get up now? Are you gonna say you're sorry?"

Alex lay on his back, still muttering about shooting Mulder. "And don't think I can't. I don't know where some people get off insulting me like that. A misunderstood good-guy? How twisted is *that*? I'm a fucking murderer, for chrissakes. Anything else is just insulting. Jeez." He looked up at Mulder, who hovered above him, sick with love. "Get up? Yes. Say I'm sorry? Never." He grinned cheekily, causing Fox to breathe in sharply.

"I didn't think you would." He grinned. "You're a sick fuck at the best of times. Good job you're so damned hot. If you weren't I'd have a lot of trouble with my conscience."

Alex snorted derisively. "You've got a conscience now?"

"I'm hurt by your implication that I might not have. I've done things I shouldn't have in my life...that karaoke last Saturday, for example." Mulder's voice was aggrieved.

Alex shuddered visibly. "And the doilies. Don't forget the doilies."

Mulder continued, his flat voice laying bare his emotions. "But I know that you are the driving force in my life, and that I couldn't do it for anyone else. Skinner, for example... too bald... not my type."

Alex leaned in, whispering to Fox, who gazed down at him, besotted, drinking in his every word. "Babe, you gettin' schmoopy on me? 'Cos if you are, I should remind you, this is going on a mailing list where schmoop is pretty much minimal..."

"Listen, sucker." Mulder was vehement. "If I want to tell you I love you, there ain't nothing you can do about it." He leant over Alex, and bit his nose. Then he collapsed back onto the floor, to contemplate his rug burns. Alex slowly pulled up his jeans.

"Okay, okay, okay. I love you too, and all that mushy stuff... Just... no more doilies? No more of this weird 'AU' crap? It's freaky, babe. Totally freaky."

"Okay, lover. I promise... just...." Mulder's voice cracked.

"Just, what?" Alex's voice was a husky whisper.

"I want you to do that to me sometime."

Alex could hear the wistfulness in his lover's voice and wondered if maybe he had been a little lacking in romantic feeling. "Throw you down and fuck you senseless?" He could only hope.

"Yeah... make me have it." Mulder's voice was needy.

Alex rubbed the back of his neck. "Push my buttons, and I'll consider it."

Mulder brightened up visibly.

"Now?"

Alex grinned at him, the picture of a rat bastard. Then he touched his jaw gingerly.

"Uh... let me... um, heal first?"

The End

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