Where Is Thy Sting?

Fandom: RPF J2

Category/Rated: R

Year/Length: 2008/~848 words

Pairing: Jensen/Jared

Disclaimer: These boys are not mine, and this didn't happen.

Author's Notes: I offered up stories for folks that gave me a prompt. This was the first, and it was for debarouchi She wanted Jensen and Jared fighting.

Beta: by marys_scribbles

"Are you kidding?" Jensen was hopping as he spoke.

"Would I kid about something like that?" Jared did his best to keep a straight face, but it was clearly giving him trouble. When he cracked a grin, Jensen got more and more irate.

"That's my ass, you shithead. You can't be messing with my ass."

"You're the one that asked for help with it. Just keep still, will you?" Jared's big hands yanked on Jensen's jeans - Dean's jeans really, and he started to guffaw now as Jensen snarled his irritation.

"Goddamn it, Jared, just... just get the fucking thing out of my ass before it bites me again and quit playing this for laughs, will ya?"

Fingers probed the distressed cheek, and Jared snickered again. "Bees don't bite, they sting," Jared said sententiously. "And they only do it once, because they leave their stinger behind - and most of their insides still attached to it - once they've stung. Kinda dumb behavior really, in terms of survival." He studied Jensen's ass again and hooted with laughter. "Oh, the pain! The poor little thing is still here. Death by Jensen's ass. Poor little bee."

There was a searing pain as the offending - and somewhat rearranged - bee carcass was plucked from Jensen's buttock. Jared laughed once too often and Jensen wheeled around, pants at half mast but not caring that he was flashing the whole set. "Listen, you pedantic fuck..." PAs seemed to materialize as if by magic as Jensen's abused buttocks twinkled in the arc lights

"Temper, temper!" Jared wagged one long finger at his furious co-star. "That's no way to talk to the man that just delivered you from the terror of the bees!"

"Shut up!" Jensen's hand fisted in Jared's hoodie and twisted. It was obvious that Jared's superior height was actually not helping the smaller man intimidate him. "Just find something to put on it for me. It fucking hurts."

"Even though you abuse me verbally..." began Jared and then backed away as Jensen turned purple. "Okay, okay, dude. I'm going."

It took only a few minutes before a solution was found, and a poultice of tobacco was slapped on the injured part. As Jared's cellphone camera flashed, recording the event 'for posterior' as he called it, Jensen gave a roar of fury exacerbated by injured pride. Despite the loosely hanging jeans, Jared barely made it to his trailer before Jensen caught him.

As Kim himself led Jensen away, murmuring soothing words to calm him, all Jensen could say was, "Just you wait, Padalecki; I'll get you, and my revenge will be terrible."

It was later, much later - the sun was rising - when the filming for that night was finally done. Jensen sat, slumped on the steps of his trailer, waiting for the driver to come and collect him to take him back home. Jared, who'd made himself scarce for much of the rest of the evening's shoot, materialized at his shoulder. He didn't say anything about the earlier events, just smiled up at him sleepily and murmured, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself, Smeckles," said Jared, hand on Jensen's shoulder, massaging, petting, stroking.

"TGIF, huh?"

"Got news for you, dude. It's Saturday." The wide grin was back on Jared's face. "Good thing too. I need me a big breakfast and at least twelve hours sleep."

"You're all about the finer things in life, aren't you?" snorted Jensen, yawning.

"And I s'pose you've got a ticket to the ballet or something," retorted Jared, flipping him off.

"Nah. Got an appointment with my bed." Standing up as the car arrived, Jensen led the way, holding the door for Jared to get in before following him."

"Your ass still stinging?" asked Jared, once they were under way.

"Some," admitted his co-star. "Tobacco's good, but it isn't magic."

"Never fear, shorty. Big uncle Jay will make it all better for ya; just you wait and see." There was affection in Jared's laughing words, and Jensen thought that he was being flippant. But when they arrived at Jensen's, he hopped out with Jen and waved the courtesy car goodbye before following Jensen.

Inside, Jensen kicked off his shoes and hung up his jacket, almost too tired to remain upright. Jared followed him through into his bedroom. Jensen turned, raised his eyebrows, and waved a feeble query at him.

"Told ya. Gonna make it all better for ya." Jared pounced, and Jensen's jeans were unfastened and lowered before any further words were spoken.

"Dude, what the fuck...? The words were gasped out as Jensen himself was upended and tossed onto the bed and Jared's mouth worked, hot and wet over the site of the bee sting.

"Told ya." said Jared again. "Gonna kiss it better right now. It's the least I can do."

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