By heidi

 Jim was not having a good day.  But then again, he hadn't had a good day in months; they had just become progressively worse, turning him into a real bear.  Today was the worst.  He was like a mad dog, snarling, growling, and biting at everyone, infecting all who came near him.

 Blair sat quietly next to him, finishing up his paper work and trying to do anything that might get him on the big guy's good side.  This was not easy because he also had his own problems to worry about.  Several months ago he realized how much Jim meant to him, and it was more than just friendship.

 Blair was attracted to Jim, and quite possibly, in love with him.  He couldn't say for sure, since true love was an emotion he had never previously felt.  He just knew that what he felt for Jim was stronger than what he had ever felt for anyone else, and it scared him a little.

 His knee-jerk reaction was to date anything that batted eyes at him, male or female, and there had been a lot of batting.  The only thing was that none of them erased his feelings for Jim.  If anything, those feeling had become stronger, which made him feel guilty, like he was cheating on Jim.

 The previous night had been his ultimate last ditch attempt to erase his romantic feelings for the other man from his mind and heart.  He had spent the night with Sam.  *Big* mistake.  He felt horrible, not only for using Sam, but also for betraying his feelings for Jim.

 But this was all his problem.  He had to get it under control because he did not want to ruin his relationship with the detective.  Jim was the best thing that ever happened to him, and the one person he could always count on.

 He looked from the case file in front of him to the other man.  He loved to look at him, but today all he saw was anger and frustration.

 //I've been neglecting him, but not anymore.//  Blair decided to devote his life to making his sentinel happy, even if it meant foregoing his own needs.  He just didn't know how.

 Right then, the young woman who delivered mail at the department walked by with Jim's mail.  Blair turned and smiled to her, causing her to blush.  Jim growled, startling her, resulting in her dropping his mail.

 The lashing she received from the detective was unnatural.  Blair even thought he heard Jim snarl and bark during the verbal abuse.

 Simon's door swung open, after the girl had been reduced to a pool of tears,  "Ellison, my office, NOW!"

 Jim got up without looking at Blair, and followed his captain into the office.

 The bull pen became deathly quiet, all eyes watching the blinded windows.  No actual words could be heard, but they all knew Simon was chewing Jim's ass off.

 The door slammed open, Jim stalked to his chair, grabbed his coat, muttered something about going home, and left.

 Blair quickly closed the file he was working on, so he could follow.

 "Sandburg, try to find out what's bothering him, and see if you can straighten it out."

 "Yeah, sure Captain."  Blair grabbed his coat and ran after his partner.

 When he reached the garage, Jim was sitting in his truck, his hands clutching the steering wheel in a death grip.  His head was leaning forward.

 Blair climbed into the truck with him, and sat looking at his friend.

 "I'm surprised you're here.  No *date* tonight.  The mail girl would be a good target, she smiled at you.  If you play your cards right, you might be able to spend the night with her, too."

 Blair was startled by the words and the way they were said.  He began to understand, a little irritated with himself for not catching on sooner.  Jim was jealous.  "No, no date.  And there won't be anymore.  I've neglected you.  I'm sorry."

 Jim turned his head to look at his partner.  "What are you saying?"

 "My place is with you, and I've tried to deny that."

 "Look, don't do me any favors, Sandburg."

 "No, not favors Jim.  Just the truth."

 Jim wasn't sure what the implications of Blair's words were yet, but at the moment, he didn't care.  His guide was with him, where he belonged.

 He started the truck and headed to the loft.  The drive was made in silence, which allowed Jim to review his emotions.  He loved Blair, and it pained him each time the younger man went out with someone else, which was virtually every night.  He never stayed out all night, always coming home, often smelling of sex, or of a recent shower.  Jim had accepted that, because Blair always came home to him.  But last night, Blair didn't come home.  And to make matters worse, he had been with Sam, possibly the one person who could take Blair away from him.

 This scared him.  Would Blair want to leave him?  But now he claimed his place was with him.  A new fear rose inside of him.  Did Blair feel this from some misplaced loyalty?  The two of them would have to talk, but later.

 When they got back to the loft, Blair headed for the bathroom.  "I'm going to take a quick shower.  I'll only be a moment."

"That'll be the day," Jim chuckled.

 "I heard that."  The younger man was somewhat relieved.  Jim was showing some of his sense of humor, which had been missing for too long.

 The shower allowed Blair to clear his mind, and to build his nerve.  After reviewing the last several months, Blair came to the same conclusion he had reached in the truck:  Jim had been jealous, so maybe, just maybe, Jim loved him.  Now to find out.  He sent a silent prayer up to any god who would listen, to please let him not be wrong.

 He turned the water off, dried his hair, wrapped a towel around his waist, and gave himself one final, silent pep talk.  He walked from the bathroom expecting to find Jim sitting on the sofa, or upstairs, but he was in the kitchen instead.  Blair walked up to the bug guy and stood behind him.

 He watched as Jim put down the knife in his hand.  The older man then carefully grabbed the edge of the counter.  He held it so tight that his knuckles began to lose all color.  Blair reached up and laid his hand on a strong shoulder.  The other man was so tight, that he felt as if he was carved from marble, which was ironic to Blair because he felt the big guy was already a walking work of art.

 The younger man said nothing and did not remove his hand, again praying that he knew what he was doing.  Jim straightened and turned to face him.  Blair saw the emotions battling across the normally stoic face, and knew his conclusions were right.

 He leaned forward and stood on his toes so that he could reach the other's lips, and gave him a quick, gentle kiss.  He watched the confusion and then the understanding cross Jim's eyes.  Before he could move to kiss him again, the other man reached down and pulled him up to an embrace, which caused Blair's towel to fall to the floor, unnoticed.  Jim then kissed him, forcing entry into supple mouth, which was eagerly given.  Tongues dueled in a seductive battle for dominance with the need for breath being the victor.

 They reluctantly pulled apart, gasping for air.  Looking at each other, the passion was evident in each other's eyes.

 Blair took hold of Jim's hand and brought it to his mouth.  He kissed the palm and then began to kiss each finger in a random order.  When he reached the index finger, he kissed it, then wrapped his lips around it, all the while never breaking eye contact.

 He slowly sucked the finger into his mouth, then drew it out, then repeated the motion, setting a motion of bobbing his head up and down.

 When he had the finger sufficiently coated with saliva he brought Jim's arm around him, placing the finger at his opening.

 He started kissing at Jim's jaw line whispering between kisses, "Jim . . . I . . .  want you . . . to . . . fuck me."

 Jim responded by pushing his finger in the puckered hole.  Blair gasped, then groaned as the older man began to finger fuck him.

 But Blair wasn't finished.  His own fingers began to unbutton his partner's shirt, his mouth nipping at the exposed neck.

 "I want you to fuck me long." <suckle> "I want you to fuck me hard." <bite> "Fuck me so hard, that I can't think straight." <lick> "So hard that I can't sit for a week" <kiss> "So hard, that I'll never think of having sex with another person ever again." <nip> "I want you to mark me as yours."

 Blair heard a sound he never heard before, and it was coming from Jim.  The sound was primal, originating deep inside the chest before him.  When it reached full manifestation, it sounded very much like a roar.

 Jim pulled his finger out, and reached down, grabbing Blair around the thighs, hefting him over his shoulder, before carrying his load up the stairs and to his bed.

 When he reached the bed, he unceremoniously deposited his guide onto it, and divested himself of his own clothes.  He slinked up the bed beside Blair and was ready to pounce when the other took the initiative, flipping them over.

 Blair kissed his lover for a moment before moving his mouth down the other's body, giving special care to each nipple, bringing them to painful nubs.  When he reached Jim's cock, he wrapped his lips around the head, gliding his tongue across the silky tip, enjoying the taste of the precum.

 Jim screamed from the sudden moist heat surrounding him.  "I thought . . . you . . .  wanted me . . . to fuck . . . you."

 Blair lifted his head and displaying a preditorial grin.  "Oh, I do.  This is just to take the edge off, to get rid of the urgency.  If you fucked me now, in your current state, it wouldn't last.  And I *want* it to last.  Don't worry lover, the night is young."  He finished his statement by deep throating Jim, with the older man coming the second he felt the back of Blair's throat.  He came in long, hard pulses, and Blair swallowed all Jim had to give.

 Blair licked Jim's cock clean, then crawled up his body, to lay on top of him, pressing his own erection into the older man's stomach.  He lowered his mouth for a bruising kiss.

 "Where'd you learn how to do that?"

 Blair blushed slightly, ashamed of his experience.  "Practice."

 Jim saw the slight color, and hesitated.  "All those times you came home freshly showered?"  The younger man nodded.

 "It's okay, Chief.  You're with me now."

 Blair slowly rubbed his body against his lover, causing the other man to become erect again.  His tongue snaked out to gently caress the passion swelled lips before him.  Jim raised his head so he could nip the luscious tongue.  They kissed hungrily, each trying to devour the other, when Blair pulled away.  Reaching over, he grabbed the lube, which he had managed to snatch from the counter when Jim threw him over his shoulder, and handed it to him.

 Jim understood, and lubed up a finger, pressing it into Blair.  The kid threw his head back in the pleasure of the sensation, then lowered it again, taking other's mouth with his own, rocking his hips on the older man's finger.

 Jim withdrew his finger, covered two more, inserting two, and then three.  With each additional finger, Blair's kiss became more demanding.  With glazed eyes, Blair pulled away.  "Do it Jim, I need to feel you in me."

 Jim growled, and turned the younger man over, pulling his hips up.  Blair reached out to brace himself against the head of the bed.  The older man lubed his cock and positioned it at the puckered opening.  Taking hold of Blair's hips, he gently pushed in, with both men groaning when the head passed the sphincter.  Blair wanted it all, and suddenly thrust back, taking the engorged organ all in.

 When Jim got over the initial shock of it all, he started a rocking motion, starting out slowly, but as passion and need took over, the thrusts became more demanding and harder.  He reached around, taking hold of his lover's erection.  Blair adjusted himself for better access, changing the angle of entry and causing Jim's cock to brush against his prostate.

 This sudden sensation, along with the hand on him, made Blair start to shudder from his toes up, as his orgasm overtook him.

 Jim's thrusts became even more powerful, as he fought for control, but losing to his own orgasm.

 Careful to not land on the body below him, Jim lowered himself to his side, cradling the smaller man to his chest, as both drifted into a sated slumber.

*********

 Jim woke, feeling rested for the first time in weeks, no months.  He smiled to himself, remembering the night before.  And with the weight at his side, he knew it had not been a dream.  Blair had become his lover.

 Ho looked down at the angelic face at his side, leaning to kiss the forehead.  Joy filled him when Blair whispered out his name.

 "Wake up sleepy head.  We're running late."

 Blair opened his eyes, smiling at the man next to him.

 When they got to work, the entire bull pen watched them walk in, all noticing the lilt to Jim's step, and the smile on his face.

 "Sandburg, my office."  Jim smiled at Blair as the younger man walked to join the captain.

 "Whatever you did, it seems to have worked.  Keep it up."

 "My pleasure, Simon, my pleasure."

The End

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