Start with:  One day he just walked in the room and said to me, "So, what exactly do I have to do to get you to stop pretending you don't want me?"

******

One day he just walked in the room and said to me, "So, what exactly do I have to do to get you to stop pretending you don't want me?"

"Spike, what are you talking about?"

"You heard me."

The only way to handle this situation was to sigh, and ask, again, "Yeah.  Okay.  What are you talking about?"

"I thought it was a logical question."

The day had been too long as it was, and Spike was making it longer.  "Whatever.  Just leave."

"Oi, answer me."

I barked out a laugh that lacked any humor.  Doing my best sing-song voice, "Oh Spike, I want you, take me."

"Now that's more like it."

Blinking, I looked up at him as he moved towards me.  "Uh, is this some vampire thing I didn't know about?  That you can't attack someone for sex unless they invite you in?  Cause if that's the case, I was joking, not inviting."  But the blond nuisance kept approaching.  "Spike, stop this very instance."

He continued to approach, then stopped before me.  "Admit it, Xander.  You want me."

This was really starting to scare me.  Not that he was doing this; Spike tends to spout out the outrages, and acting as if it's the god awful truth - but this time, there was actually a grain of truth in his mutterings.

Taking a deep breath, I laughed nervously, avoiding his eyes if at all possible.  "Spike, I can't do this."

"Why not?"  Surprisingly, his voice was soft and honest.

"Spike, you're a vampire.  I'm part of the Scoobie Gang.  We're … oil and water."

Raising a finger, running it along my cheek, "Not water.  You're to spicy for water.  Vinegar.  Yeah, vinegar - and oil and vinegar work perfectly together."

"If Buffy found out …"

"Oi, the blonde bint.  We can take her, you and me."

Oh fuck, I couldn't believe I was going to do this.  "Okay.  I want you."

Smirking, the smug bastard, "Thank you."  With that, he turned around and left.
 

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