Title: Where I Belong
Author: Natalie L
Author Email: nat1228@comcast.net
Rating: NC-17
Status: Complete

Written: May-July 2000
Revised and expanded: January, 2002
Previously published by Agent With Style

Disclaimer: Pet Fly and Paramount own the copyright to The Sentinel and its characters. This piece of fan fiction was written solely for the love of the characters and to share freely with other fans. No profit is being made from the posting of this story.

Episode related: Warriors

Warnings: lyrics, m/m

Author's notes: Many thanks to Becky for the use of parts of her episode transcripts for "Warriors." You made my job much easier.

Thanks also to my intrepid betas: Allison and Heather-Anne, for the original version, and Heather-Anne and Kimberly for this revised and expanded version. Couldn't do it without you!

Summary: Blair learns an important lesson about his newfound abilities and Jim comes to the reluctant conclusion that Blair's visions make him Jim's equal.

WHERE I BELONG
by Natalie L
nat1228@comcast.net

But tonight you're where I belong

=====||=====

Blair Sandburg was exhausted. He had spent the day at Rainier covering for another Teaching Fellow who was out with the flu. To make a long day longer, he had mandatory office hours and yet another meeting with his dis committee. He was going to have to hand in something soon, or lose his grants and fellowship status.

Shifting the heavy backpack on his shoulder, he trudged up the stairs to the third floor, fumbling to put the key in the lock.

As the door swung open, he stumbled in to be greeted by a sight that brought him up short. Dropping his backpack near the entrance and his keys on the table, he stared. "Where's the party?" he asked, confused.

Before him stood a small knot of men, all dressed in formal dark suits. Simon Banks, Captain of Major Crime, stood near the staircase to the upper level of the loft. To his right stood Captain Joel Taggert and Detectives Rafe and Brown. To his left stood Jim Ellison, decked out in a tux, his arm resting in a formal black sling, grinning widely at him.

"Right here. Right now," Jim informed him. "Your change of clothes is on the bed." He indicated the stairs to the upper level. "Hurry up and get dressed."

Crossing the room toward the stairs, Blair gave Jim a questioning look, which was met by shooing motions. "Upstairs, Sandburg," Jim growled, smiling at him.

Curiosity won out over exhaustion, and he trudged up the stairs. A tuxedo was carefully laid out on their bed. Blair groaned. He was tired, and getting into one of those things was a major commitment of energy.

"Don't take all night," Simon called up to him. "Some of us have work to do, you know."

"Yeah, yeah," Blair mumbled. "Keep your pants on. I'm coming."

As quickly as he could manage, he donned the tux, fastened the cummerbund and tied his hair back into a ponytail. As he descended to the main floor, all eyes in the room focused on him. "So, what gives?" he asked, stepping off the bottom stair.

Jim slid an arm around his waist and turned him to face their guests. Pulling a small velvet box from the recesses of his pocket, he took a deep breath. "The laws of the State of Washington don't recognize same-sex marriages," he began, smiling when he saw Blair's jaw drop at the statement, "so I've decided I want the next best thing." He opened the box and extracted a gold wedding band. "You represent our closest friends," he addressed the gathering. "And as such, I ask that you be our witnesses."

He knelt in front of Blair. Taking his left hand, he slipped the band on the third finger. "Blair, with this ring I pledge to you my love and loyalty through whatever adversities might try to separate us, for as long as we live. Will you consent to being my life partner?"

Blair stared numbly at the gold band before lifting his eyes to look at his lover. His lips trembled, but managed to form the words, "I will."

"Congratulations," Simon spoke into the hushed room. "You are now officially an old married couple." He clapped both men on the back, smiling broadly.

Then Taggert, Rafe and Brown joined the group, laughing and congratulating the new couple.

Blair tugged at the sleeve of Jim's tux. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He paused to look around at their friends. "Alone?" he added.

"Yeah, sure," Jim agreed, shrugging to their guests and following Blair into his old bedroom.

"What was that all about? I thought we weren't telling anyone except Simon!" Blair struggled to keep his voice muted.

"Our little adventure got me thinking. I don't ever want to live without you. Hell, I'd prefer to never let you out of my sight," Jim admitted. "I guess I'm just tired of hiding my feelings for you, that's all."

"You could have warned me!"

"Blair, I love you. There are times at work where all I want to do is hold your hand or put my arm around you. Times when you deserve to be kissed for some brilliant insight. I don't want to have to hold back on that anymore."

"Jim . . . these men are our friends. They understand. But what about the rest of the people in the department? There are some real homophobes out there. This is going to seriously mess with your reputation."

"You really think they're going to want to take on an ex-Army Ranger with covert ops training?" Jim grinned wickedly.

"Maybe not, but they wouldn't think twice about messing with an anthropology grad student with observer status," Blair reminded him flatly.

"Anyone messes with you, answers to me. And they know it."

"But . . . don't you think maybe it's wiser to be a little discreet?" Blair asked.

"I can do discreet, when we're on the job. But nobody tells me what to do in my free time, or in my own home," Jim argued. Seeing the distress lines growing around his lover's eyes, he softened his voice. "Are you really uncomfortable with this, Blair? Because if you are, it doesn't have to go any further than this circle of our friends."

"Someone's going to notice the ring."

"So? Wear it on the chain with your medic alert tag. I don't care. I just want to know that you're mine. Officially. Now and forever."

"Uh-huh," Blair deadpanned. "I'm yours. Like your property? I don't think so, Jim. You're mine!" Grabbing the satin lapels in his fists, Blair pulled Jim down into a hard, passionate kiss. "And I don't care who knows it!" he added once he had come up for air.

There was a light rap on the doorframe. "Ah, gentlemen?" Simon's voice interrupted. "It's getting late. We're just going to let ourselves out. See you in the morning?"

"Good-night, Simon," came the sound of two voices through the door.

"Good-night, gentlemen," the Captain chuckled as he retreated to gather up his tiny flock of detectives and leave.

As the soft sound of footsteps retreated, and the front door to the loft closed, Blair pulled back slightly within Jim's embrace. "Think they heard us talking?"

"I know they did!" Jim laughed. "At least we're alone now."

"On our wedding night."

Jim's eyes sparkled. "That's right."

"Did the doctor release you for strenuous physical activity?" Blair asked with a wicked grin as they made their way up the stairs to their bedroom.

"Just this afternoon, as a matter of fact," Jim answered. He reached up with his good arm to ruffle Blair's hair. "And I plan on fucking you into next Tuesday."

"You'll have to catch me first." Blair bounded up the remaining stairs ahead of his mate, but found himself firmly nailed to the mattress in short order.

"Gotcha," Jim growled, his larger frame pinning the smaller man to the bed.

The sound that bubbled up from beneath Jim was that of pure joy. "I'm feeling better already." Blair smiled up at him.

~~oO0Oo~~

The golden sand was warm beneath his feet. Aquamarine water crested in foamy white waves upon the shore. Laughter drifted to his sensitive ears from far down the beach.

Jim trained his eyes on the flicker of motion a thousand feet or more down the stretch of sand. A figure emerged from the surf, body glistening as water streamed from his long hair.

Blair came running toward him, waving a morning greeting; his naked body flushed with exertion as he ran through the soft sand.

"Have you no shame? No sense of decency?" The Sentinel laughed as his love approached.

"Who's going to see?" Blair answered, matter-of-factly. "There's no one around for miles. We've got the beach to ourselves for two glorious weeks, and I intend to work on my tan.

"And quite a nice tan it's turning out to be," Jim commented, gathering Blair into his arms.

Blair tilted his head back, exposing the long line of his neck and parting his lips invitingly. His body arched, pressing his hips against his lover's, forcing Jim to bear most of his weight so that he wouldn't tip over backward. The pose was only one of many wanton displays by the young man. Since arriving at their remote South American location, Blair had elected to "go native," much to Jim's delight.

Just as Jim was leaning in to capture the full lips, Blair twisted in his embrace and broke free.

"Follow me!" he called over his shoulder as he ran off down the beach once more. "I want you to see something!"

Jim took off at a run, but despite his longer legs, Blair remained just out of reach. The young shaman stopped at the blanket he had laid out on the sand, only to find himself at the bottom of a tangle of arms and legs a moment later.

"Jim! Jim, man, let up a bit, would you?" Blair struggled to be out from beneath the heavy weight pinning him. "Ooof!" Additional comments were smothered by Jim's mouth covering his.

Blair not only allowed the kiss, but melted into it, letting his body relax. His tongue darted out to taste the richness of his partner's mouth, and found himself in a duel for dominance.

Once the passionate kiss ended, Jim began to caress the bare skin, kissing his way down Blair's neck to his chest. As soon as the Sentinel had sifted his weight off the smaller man, Blair was once more up and running toward the surf.

"Come on, Jim! I want to show you something!" he called from waist-deep in the ocean.

His partner growled his disapproval at being interrupted, but began to strip, tossing his clothes down onto the blanket. "I'm going to get you, my little sea sprite!" Jim splashed into the surf and made a straight line toward his laughing partner.

Blair turned and dove into the gentle waves, long strokes taking him out toward deeper water. It wasn't long before he felt a tap at his ankle, and was suddenly dragged beneath the surface of the blue-green water.

Jim crawled his way up Blair's body, encircling his waist and preparing to swim them back to the surface, but Blair wasn't ready to go. Smiling, he pointed out the colorful fish darting just beneath them. The white sand of the ocean floor showed clearly in the shallow water. Seaweed of various colors and forms waved gracefully.

Dragging his lover along, Blair pointed out the wonders of their tropical beach, until the need to breathe finally forced him to the surface. Gulping in large draughts of the humid air, he tread water until Jim was once more next to him.

"Isn't that the most incredible thing you've ever seen?" Blair gushed.

"No," Jim admitted, smiling as he wrapped an arm around the younger man's waist. "I'm holding the most incredible thing I've ever seen." He captured Blair's astonished mouth and kissed him soundly, barely managing to keep both their heads above water. "Can we go back now?"

Blair nodded, and they swam the short distance back to shore. Suddenly subdued, Blair made no effort to escape when Jim led him over to the blanket and pulled him down.

Jim began at once to kiss his way down the pale flesh, reveling in the tangy salt flavoring his Guide's skin. His lips brushed the erect nub of a nipple and he latched on, teasing the firm flesh with his teeth.

Blair moaned loudly, uninhibited, and ground his hips against Jim.

Feeling the hard column of flesh pressing into his thigh, Jim moved his kisses lower until his lips finally curled around the head of the leaking cock.

"Oh, Jim! Oh, God!" Blair grabbed at Jim's hair and tried to force him to take more in.

Jim resisted, holding the bucking hips still and ignoring the slight pain caused by the fingers gripping his hair. He swirled his tongue around the tip of Blair's cock, following the crease to the tiny hole that leaked the sweet nectar of pre-come. Paying no attention to Blair's cries, he took his time, inching down the length, licking and nipping at the tender skin.

Blair was all but sobbing by the time Jim took his cock into his mouth, sucking and licking as he swallowed it to the root. Jim continued his maddeningly slow pace, payback for the way Blair had teased him earlier. When he felt Blair's body tense in preparation for his orgasm, Jim released the rigid cock, letting it fall, moist and throbbing, onto Blair's belly.

"Awwwww! JIM!" Blair squirmed against the larger man, wrapping his own fingers around his aching penis, seeking relief.

"Not yet, Sprite," Jim crooned in one shell-shaped ear. He peeled Blair's fingers from his cock and rolled him over.

Blair reached up to the edge of the blanket where he had left the one item he'd brought with him that morning besides the blanket, a tube of K-Y Jelly, and handed it back to Jim.

Jim took the ointment and spread it liberally on his fingers before inserting one carefully into Blair's ass. The young man pressed back, accepting the digit fully, grunting and panting with his need.

"Hurry, Jim. Please!" Blair pleaded, trying to speed the rhythm of the slow finger-fuck.

"Patience," Jim whispered. "You owe me."

"Yes! Yes!" panted Blair, willing to admit to anything in order to end the slow torture.

Jim added a second finger, and a third, stroking in and out with a gentle tempo, purposefully managing to barely avoid touching Blair's prostate. Any stimulation now to that most sensitive gland would bring Blair to climax, and Jim wasn't quite ready for that yet.

He eased his fingers out. His lover was now whimpering with need, grinding his cock into the blanket and the soft sand beneath in an effort to find relief.

"Patience," Jim whispered. "We're almost there." He placed the head of his cock against the stretched opening and pushed slowly inside, burying his length in one long thrust. Wrapping his fist around Blair's penis, he began a rhythm that matched his thrusts into the hot tunnel of Blair's body.

Blair's hips rocked in counterpoint, perfectly matching the thrusts of his mate. His cries echoed down the beach as he was pleasured out of his mind. Jim finally took pity and thrust deep, angling to hit Blair's prostate. He withdrew and struck again. Over and over, as Blair screamed out his name, shooting come all over his belly and chest, coating Jim's hand in the viscous fluid.

Jim began to thrust faster and harder, pounding into the channel that clenched tightly around him in spasms as Blair came. His own climax hit soon after, leaving both men weak and sated. He eased out of Blair's body, and turned his lover over to cuddle him close. The young man offered no resistance.

Jim reached up to brush damp, sandy hair from where it had plastered itself against Blair's face. The blue eyes were closed, but they moved rapidly beneath the lids, as though in REM sleep. Fear began to creep slowly into his bones, chilling his body even in the warmth of the tropical sun. Within the circle of his arms, Blair trembled.

==|+|==|+|==|+|==

Blair stood naked in the jungle, near the Temple of the Sentinels. He turned slowly, looking for the reason why he was here. A voice came from behind him.

Welcome, Shaman of the Great City. Incacha stood at the edge of the clearing, naked but for a small loin cloth, his body painted with mysterious symbols. You have passed the tests: You were passed the Way. You have walked the spirit plane in search of answers, and have saved your sentinel's life. Now you have joined with him, heart and soul.

Chopec warriors began appearing from the jungle growth. They approached Blair and began painting his body with symbols of power. A necklace of beads with a totem pouch was placed around his neck, and a head dress of feathers was placed on his head.

You now take your rightful place as shaman and guide at your sentinel's side. Guard him well. It is your life's duty.

"But, but," Blair stuttered. "I do not know what to do! I love Jim. He's my soulmate. He completes me. But I - I still do not know how to use this to protect him!"

Follow your heart, Shaman. Listen to the speakings of your soul. Do not try to deny your gift. Use it. Incacha began to fade, becoming ethereal, like smoke. Use it.

"Incacha!" Blair reached out toward the disappearing shaman. . . .

==|+|==|+|==|+|==

. . . and bumped into the solid flesh of Jim's chest. He opened his eyes, fighting to focus.

"God, Blair!" Jim had to restrain himself from shouting at the young man. "Don't do that to me! I'm going to get a complex if you start having seizures after I've fucked you."

Blair reached a hand up to caress Jim's cheek. Still struggling to focus his sight, he looked at the worried blue eyes. "Sorry. Love you, Jim." His eyes drooped shut again. Staying awake after a seizure was always a struggle.

"Love you, too, dammit," Jim whispered, sitting up. Kneeling beside the somnolent man, he scooped his lover into his arms. "Guess I'd better get you out of the sun before you turn to toast." He carried his sleeping Guide back to their hut and laid him on the grass mats, covering him with a light-weight blanket.

Blair awoke a couple hours later to the smell of fresh fish frying. He pushed himself up, and brushed tangled hair from his eyes.

"About time," Jim commented, smiling. "I thought you'd sleep through lunch. How are you feeling?"

"Good. I'm good," Blair said, still feeling a little confused. "Did I have another seizure?"

"What do you think?" Jim replied grimly. "You scared the shit out me. We'd just shared an earth-shattering mutual orgasm, and you start shaking in my arms like a leaf."

"How long?"

"Too damn long!" Jim shuddered at the memory.

"I'm sorry." Blair's voice was very soft. "I've been taking the pills, honest. I couldn't help it."

Jim walked across the small room and crouched down beside his mate, stroking his cheek with the back of his hand. "I know, Sweetheart. You don't have to apologize. I was just scared, that's all. I'll get over it."

"I saw Incacha."

"Really?" Jim's interest was piqued. "Did he say anything to you?"

Blair looked up with huge blue eyes. "Yeah. He said I'd passed all the tests. I'm a true shaman now. He told me not to deny my gift, to use it."

"No." Jim shook his head in denial, cupping Blair's face in the palm of his hands. "He can't mean the seizures. They're a curse, not a gift. He wouldn't ask that of you . . . of me."

A light began to dawn in the ocean-blue eyes of the younger man. "No, not a curse." He shook his head gently, still held by Jim's hands. "The visions saved your life, Jim. That's a blessing. If this is what I have to live with to guard you and keep you safe, it's a small price to pay."

"But I'm your Blessed Protector!" Jim argued, remembering a long-ago discussion after the case with David Lash.

"We protect each other," Blair corrected him. "It's my job as your guide to watch your back, to protect you from harm while you use your senses to protect the tribe. Besides," he added, "it's in my best interests to keep you alive. There isn't anyone else that can fuck me like you do."

"You'd better believe it!" Jim placed a quick kiss on the waiting lips, then turned back to the small cookstove. "Why don't you get cleaned up while I finish fixing lunch?"

Blair tossed the blanket aside and got a good whiff of his semen-stained body. "Yeah. I think I'll take you up on that." He exited the hut and walked down the beach to the ocean. After he'd washed up, he dressed in loose white cotton pants and a tropical-print shirt. His wet hair was tied back into a ponytail.

"What do you want to do after lunch?" Jim asked, dishing up the fish and fried potatoes.

"Well, this is our honeymoon," Blair reminded him. "We can explore the beach. Then fuck. We could wander into the jungle in search of succulent fruits to supplement our meals. Then make love. We could fish in the surf. Then fuck again. After dinner, we could count the stars. . . ."

"And make out under the full moon?"

"Yeah, fucking's good."

"Then we could wash out your mouth, Sprite. Where did you learn to talk like that?" Jim chuckled.

"Only from the best, man. Only from the best." Blair wrapped his arms around the Sentinel and squeezed. "I love you."

"Forever," Jim agreed.

To be continued in Blessed Protector...

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