Previously published in Angel on My Mind 7

Disclaimer: Pet Fly and Paramount own the copyright to The Sentinel and its characters. This piece of fan fiction was written solely for the love of the characters and to share freely with other fans. No profit is being made from the posting of this story.

Acknowledgments: Marion (thanks for the quote and the title); and to Mary, Bobbie, and Chibi-Ichi for their beta talents.

Rating: FRAO / NC-17

Summary: Jim must look for a new guide in one of the most unlikely places: a shelter for battered and abused guides. There he finds his soul mate in the form of Blair Sandburg. But he must win the guide's trust before he can win his love.

Comments welcome and appreciated!

Jim Ellison stood outside the antebellum-style mansion, looking at the business card in his hand. Scrawled across the back was a name and this address. He lifted his head and swept his gaze around the impressive property. Stately columns supported a covered, wrap-around porch on the three-story house. Lavender wisteria hung from the arched entryway. There was a circular driveway that cut through the massive front yard. The grounds were manicured, with sculpted shrubs and a tree-lined stream to one side. Tucking the card into his jacket pocket, Jim turned his attention back to the mansion and took the stairs two at a time, walking through the front door into a large parlor.

A couch and several overstuffed chairs were placed around the room, along with small tables and lamps, giving the space a homey appearance. In the center of the room was a large reception desk made of carved walnut. A petite brunette woman got up from her place at the desk and walked around to greet the visitor. She stretched out her hand, turning a congenial smile on Jim.

"Welcome to Gillis House," she said. "I'm Jeri Wadsworth. How may I help you?"

"Jim Ellison." Jim shook her hand, returning the smile. "I'm here looking for a guide," he said, getting right to the point.

"Won't you have a seat?" Jeri offered, steering Jim over to a couch near the front window. Sitting next to her visitor, she used a direct approach. "This is a shelter for abused guides," she said. "The men and women here have come to escape from abusive relationships with their former sentinels. I don't think any of them are looking to become a guide again. At least, not for a long while."

"I'm desperate," Jim admitted. "I've been through all the regular channels looking for a suitable guide. A friend gave me your name and said that I might find what I'm looking for here."

"And just what is it that you're looking for?" Jeri inquired.

"It's hard to explain," Jim confessed. "I'm looking for a special guide. One that 'clicks' with me, in here," he said, thumping his chest. "I've interviewed countless candidates, but none gave my senses that particular vibe."

"Hmmm..." Jeri nodded. "I don't know much about how sentinels choose their guides," she admitted, "but like I said, I don't think you'll find anyone here who's willing to do the job for you."

Jim spread his hands in supplication. "Most sentinels just look for someone they like, someone they can work with," he explained. "But I want more. I want a guide who can also be my partner. I want to find the one guide I was meant to be with for the rest of my life."

"Are you looking for a sexual relationship?" Jeri asked. "Many of the guides here have been sexually abused, as well as physically and mentally punished."

"Not sex; not necessarily," Jim replied hastily. "It might develop into that, but no. It doesn't have to. I'm not explaining this right," he said with a sigh. "Can I please just talk with your guides?"

"All right," Jeri agreed. "But they may not be interested in talking with you."

"I won't press any of them to do anything that makes them uncomfortable," Jim promised. "If they don't want to speak with me, I'll honor that."

Jeri nodded. "Come this way," she said, rising and leading the way through the building to the spacious back yard, where many men and women were enjoying the spring sunshine. "The majority of our residents are out here, making the most of the fine weather."

"Thank you," Jim said, nodding to the woman as he made his way out into the yard. He wandered around, hoping to feel an attraction, that seductive pull, from one of the guides. He introduced himself and spoke briefly with several of the men and women, but none were interested in acting as a guide, and none triggered Jim's senses. He was about to leave, disappointed again, when he spotted a young man down by the stream, sitting apart from the others, with his back to an old oak tree, tossing stones into the rippling water.

As he approached, Jim's skin tingled, making him itch. He reached out to touch the shoulder of the guide and felt a jolt to his senses that nearly sent him reeling. The guide turned his head, looking up at the sentinel. Wide blue eyes gazed at Jim, full lips pursed questioningly, the handsome face framed by a wild mane of long, chestnut brown curls.

"My name is Jim Ellison," Jim said, introducing himself.

"Blair Sandburg," the guide replied, turning his attention back to tossing stones into the stream. "What's a sentinel doing here at Gillis House?"

"Looking for a guide," Jim replied, settling down next to Sandburg and leaning against the sturdy trunk of the oak tree.

"You came to the wrong place," Sandburg said dryly, not bothering to turn and look at his visitor. "No one here wants anything to do with sentinels anymore."

"I understand," Jim said. "I do. But this is different. I'm different."

"Been there, heard that before," Sandburg said, his sentences curt and sharp. "I'm not interested, man, so you might as well just leave."

"I'm a detective with the Cascade Police Department's Major Crime Unit," Jim persisted. "I lost my guide in an accident..."

"I imagine that 'accidents' are frequent in your line of work," Sandburg shot back, still refusing to even look at Jim.

"It wasn't that kind of accident," Jim explained. "His car was hit by a drunk driver and totaled. He didn't survive."

Blair finally turned to look at the man sitting next to him. "Sorry to hear that."

"It's been a hard year," Jim admitted. "We were close. But now my senses are starting to act up again, to spike, and I need control. I need a guide."

"Why here?" Blair asked, turning his attention back to the slowly moving water. "Why not try the more traditional channels? There are a lot of guides out there, just looking for a sentinel to pair up with."

"I want..." Jim hesitated. He could feel an attraction to this guide and he was certain that Blair felt it too. But he was concerned that voicing his real feelings would scare the young man off before he had a chance to convince him otherwise.

Blair turned to look at Jim again, raising a questioning eyebrow.

Jim cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over his short hair. "I want a guide I can connect with," he said carefully. "One that I can have a closer relationship to; something more than just the job."

"Then you really came to the wrong place." Blair shook his head and gave Jim a fleeting smile. "You're not going to find anyone here who's willing to have an intimate relationship."

"I've tried everywhere else that I can think of," Jim said. "I knew this place was a long shot, but I had to try. And now you..." His voice trailed off.

Blair's eyebrow lifted higher toward his hairline. "And now me... what? What is it about me that made you single me out of the crowd?"

"For one, you're willing to at least talk with me. Most of the others wouldn't give me the time of day," Jim grumbled. "And... And... Well, you can feel it, can't you?"

"The pull of the bond?" Blair shuddered. "As soon as you touched me. Doesn't mean anything, though. I'm still not interested." He pushed to his feet, brushing grass and debris from his jeans. "I think we've talked long enough, Detective Ellison."

Jim scrambled to his feet and hurried to block Blair's path. "Give me some time," he pleaded. "Let me come back, get to know you better."

"And you think that will change my mind?"

"You don't have to agree to be my guide. Just be my friend. We can start from there." Jim held Blair's gaze until the younger man looked away.

"What did you have in mind?"

Jim thought about it for a few moments. "How about a picnic? I'll come back on Friday and we can enjoy lunch out here by the stream."

Blair nodded. "Okay. Friday afternoon." He brushed past Jim and headed back toward the mansion.

Jim watched him go until Blair disappeared from sight inside the building. With a sigh and a smile, he turned toward the parking lot.

Jim's step was light as he moved around the kitchen, preparing the picnic lunch he had promised to share with his future guide. Blair might not know it yet, but Jim was persistent, and he intended to win over the reluctant man. Plates, napkins, sandwiches, potato salad... He thought about a bottle of wine, but decided instead on two cold beers.

Finally satisfied, he closed the lid on the basket and grabbed the blanket he had laid aside. With a light step, he headed for his truck.

It was another beautiful day, with a light breeze moderating the warm temperature. Jim parked the truck in the small lot provided for Gillis House visitors and lifted the picnic basket and blanket from the back seat. Looking across the yard, he could see Blair seated under the same oak tree by the stream where they had first met just a few short days ago. He felt a flood of relief sweep through him. He hadn't been certain that the young man would actually show up. He'd been afraid that, perhaps, Blair had been feeding him a line to keep him happy and to get rid of him as quickly as possible. That might still be true, but at least the guide was true to his word.

Walking over, he set the basket on the grass beside the tree and crouched down next to Blair.

"I wasn't sure you'd be here," Jim began, careful not to touch the guide, even though every nerve in his body screamed out at him to connect.

Blair tossed a stone into the slow moving water of the stream, not turning to acknowledge his visitor. "I almost didn't come," he admitted. "I don't want to be a guide, and I was afraid that by coming I might get your hopes up. I don't want to lead you on or anything." He finally turned his head to look up at Jim with an open, honest stare. "I don't want to take advantage of your good will."

"You're not taking advantage of anything," Jim assured him. "I'm here because I want to be, because I want to spend time with you; get to know you. And," he hesitated, "give you a chance to get to know me."

"It's not going to make a difference," Blair insisted.

Jim felt his heart sink at the finality of that statement, but he refused to give up. "Doesn't matter," he lied. "At least you're willing to spend some time with me. That's all I ask. Are you hungry?"

Blair nodded, smiling. "Starved. I've been out here all morning, just waiting."

"Waiting?" Jim was surprised by the candid comment. "For me?"

"I don't get many visitors," Blair admitted. "None of us do. This is a safe house, a shelter. We're here because we want to get away from the world. But," he sighed, "it does get a little lonely, and you're a good looking man. I'd be crazy to turn down a lunch invitation."

"I brought a blanket," Jim said, lifting the folded square of heavy, red-checked linen tablecloth.

Blair stood and took two corners of the cloth as Jim shook it out, helping the sentinel to spread it on the ground beneath the oak. Sitting cross-legged on the blanket, he rubbed his hands together. "Okay, so what did you bring?"

Laughing, Jim sat down opposite the guide and opened the picnic basket. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I packed a variety," Jim said. "We've got roast beef, ham, chicken salad or tuna salad."

"I like them all," Blair replied. "How about we split them? We'll get more variety that way."

"Sounds good to me," said Jim, taking out the plates and silverware tucked into the lid of the basket. "I've also got some potato salad, chips, and beer." The items came out of the basket to rest between them on the blanket.

Blair unwrapped the roast beef sandwich and took half, putting the other half on Jim's plate. After helping himself to the potato salad and chips, he dug into his meal. "This is really good!"

"Thanks. I made it all myself. Stayed up late last night getting the potato salad done."

"You shouldn't have gone to all that trouble for me," Blair insisted, taking a sip of his beer.

Jim just smiled and watched as Blair took another sandwich, dividing it between the two of them and then digging in with gusto. "I wanted to," he said. "It wasn't any extra trouble."

"Well, I appreciate it. Thanks!" Blair settled into some serious eating, making Jim smile at the unbridled enthusiasm of the young guide.

Their meal done and their bellies full, the two men relaxed in the shade with their backs resting against the massive tree trunk. Jim looked over at the contented guide and decided to take a chance.

"What brought you here to Gillis House?" he asked.

Blair turned to look at him, his bright eyes clouding with remembered pain. "The sentinel I was living with, Daniel, beat me," he explained. "It got to a point where I feared for my life, so I left. Social Services pointed me here."

"How long have you been here?"

"About a month. I still wake up screaming sometimes," Blair candidly admitted. "I've got scars that will never heal, and they're not all a part of my flesh."

Jim reached out to put a gentle hand on Blair's arm, and again he felt the jolt to his senses that indicated that this man was his intended guide. He could feel the reaction in his groin, as his cock began to stir to life. He quickly removed his hand, causing Blair to look at him. "You just need a little more time," Jim said. "Do you get counseling help here as well?"

Blair nodded. He had noticed the swelling bulge in Jim's jeans, but decided to ignore it. "They provide us with psychiatric counseling, even medications, if needed. This is a healing place."

"And no place for a sentinel, like me," Jim concluded.

Blair shrugged, but chose not to look at Jim. "Normally, no. But you're okay. I like your company."

"Then you wouldn't mind if I came back? Brought another picnic?"

"Not too soon," Blair said. "Maybe in a week. Next Friday?"

"I'll be here," Jim agreed.

Blair stood up and brushed off his jeans. "Thanks for the lunch, man. I enjoyed it. But I have to get going now. I have a session with Doc Cummings at one o'clock."

Jim scrambled to his feet and held out his hand. Blair took it and shook curtly, before turning to walk across the grassy lawn back toward the mansion. Jim sighed and watched him go, then gathered up the picnic and the blanket and headed back to the truck.

Blair went straight to his room and flopped onto the bed. He didn't have an appointment with the psychiatrist, he had just needed an excuse to get away to be by himself and analyze his roiling emotions.

The picnic had been pleasant, up until Jim had started asking personal questions and dredging up Blair's painful past. Blair didn't blame him. After all, Jim was just trying to get to know him better. Perhaps the sentinel felt that if he knew what Daniel had done to drive him away, he wouldn't be prone to making the same mistakes himself.

Blair clasped his hands together and put them behind his head. Staring up at the ceiling, he recalled that electric touch - the one Jim had given him in response to his emotional confession. It was true. The marks made on his soul were every bit as deep and evident as the scars that scored his flesh. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to overcome the distrust and fear that were etched into his mind. But that touch.... That electric jolt that shot through him like ten thousand orgasms.... He couldn't forget that touch. He reached down to rub the ache in his groin and was surprised to encounter the first erection he'd had in many weeks.

The following week, it rained. Springtime in Cascade was a fickle mistress. Jim pulled his jacket up over his head, grabbed the picnic basket, and darted for Gillis House.

"Welcome back, Mr. Ellison," Jeri greeted the sentinel. "Blair told me to expect you. He's waiting in the dining area." She pointed down a hallway to her left. "First door on your right."

Jim made his way to the communal dining room. The tables were crowded with residents that had to stay inside to eat their noon meal that day. Blair had managed to secure one of the few tables for two, over by a window looking out on the front lawn. Jim put the basket on the table and slipped into the empty seat.

"You made it," Blair said, keeping his voice carefully neutral. "I wasn't sure you'd come with the bad weather."

"And leave you here to starve?" Jim began unpacking the picnic basket and spreading the food out on the table.

"I wouldn't have starved," Blair said, picking up one of the small, white take-out boxes with Chinese kanji on the side. "They make pretty decent meals here. What's this? Chinese? Not exactly picnic food."

Jim shrugged. "You said you don't get out. I thought you might enjoy something different." He slid a pair of paper-wrapped chopsticks across the table. "Do you know how to use those?"

In answer, Blair opened the package, broke the sticks apart, and eagerly dipped into the box he held, expertly handling the cashew chicken. Smiling, Jim started his meal with the pork lo-mein. They ate in silence for several minutes, before Blair finally spoke.

"Sorry about bailing on you like that last week," he apologized.

"That's all right. You had an appointment to keep," said Jim, taking a bite of a spring roll.

Blair shook his head, letting his eyes drop to his food. "No, I didn't. I lied. I needed to get out of there; away from you. I'm sorry."

The answer startled Jim. "Why?" He studied the downcast face intently, noting the slight tinge of blush as it crept up Blair's neck to color his cheeks. "Why would you feel you have to get away from me?"

"I - I had... feelings... feelings that I couldn't understand, couldn't get a handle on right away," Blair admitted. He looked up, his blue eyes dark and dusky. "Your touch... it... it made me hard." His last words dipped to a barely discernable whisper. "I didn't know how to handle it, so I ran."

"You feel it too, don't you?" Jim asked, the question more rhetorical than direct. "You feel the pull, the need to bond, when we're together."

"Only when you touch me," Blair clarified. "Which is why I have to ask you not to."

"Not to... what? Touch you?" Jim's voice held astonishment.

"I'm asking you to respect my personal space," Blair clarified. "I'm not ready to bond. Not now, probably not ever. I certainly don't want to think about it right now."

"But the pull... it's pleasant," Jim argued. "It doesn't hurt. I could never hurt you."

"I don't want to talk about it," Blair said, clamming up and going back to his meal.

Jim felt a wall fall into place between them. A wall as impenetrable as any made of steel. With a sigh, he finished his lunch and packed up to leave.

The days leading up to their next Friday visit had Jim on edge. Blair had been withdrawn since his last visit, not accepting or returning any of Jim's calls. The sentinel knew the reason for this retreat: the unmistakable pull of the bond when they were together. Blair was frightened. He didn't want to open himself up to the chance that Jim might hurt him as Daniel had done, and Jim couldn't blame him. But he needed the chance to convince Blair otherwise.

He arrived at Gillis House and strode up to the desk. Jeri greeted him with a tight smile and a shake of her head.

"Blair said to tell you that he's not feeling well today," Jeri said. "He'll call you when he feels up to having a visit."

"What's wrong?" Jim asked, fearing he already knew the real reason. "A bit of a cold or the flu doesn't bother me. Maybe I could do something to make him more comfortable."

"I don't think so, Detective," Jeri countered. "He told me to tell you..." Her voice trailed off as she noticed she'd lost Jim's attention. The sentinel was looking down the hallway to his left at a small, barefoot figure dressed in gray sweatpants and a dark blue T-shirt.

"Hey, Jim." Blair took a few steps down the hall that brought him into the parlor. His hair was tousled and his complexion pale.

Jim quickly strode over to where Blair was standing and reached out to press a palm against his forehead. "You're hot."

"Yeah, I think I've come down with something," Blair confessed. "Spring colds really suck. I don't feel up to a picnic today."

"And here I thought you were making excuses not to see me," Jim said, feeling guilty for assuming the worst.

Blair shrugged. "Last week was... intense. I'm over it, I think. But I really need to just go lie down right now," he said. "Maybe you'll call again next week?"

"Count on it," Jim said, smiling. "How about we plan on something special? Let me take you out. How about the Starlight Lounge? Do you like steak? Lobster?"

Blair's eyes sparkled and he managed to return the smile. "Sounds romantic," he commented. "You're not trying to seduce me, are you, Jim?"

Jim winked and cocked an index finger in Blair's direction. "See you next week, Chief. Get some rest."

The Starlight was quite a romantic place, Jim mused as they were seated at a window table overlooking the bay. High atop the Bayview Hotel, it had a magnificent view. As sunset turned the sky into a blaze of purple and orange, the lights of the harbor began to twinkle. But the view out the window was nothing compared to the view across the table.

Blair wore a dark blue suit, his hair tied back in a ponytail. A shy smile curled his lips as he lifted the menu to peruse the selections.

Jim waved down a waiter and ordered a bottle of champagne. "Don't over-analyze the menu," Jim warned. "Just order whatever suits your fancy."

Blair peeked over the top of his menu, his smile turned to a frown of concern. "There aren't any prices," he whispered across the table.

"If you have to ask..." Jim said with a smile. "Don't worry about it. How do you feel about the lobster?" Blair grinned and nodded as the waiter came over, taking the menus from them. "Two of the lobster dinners," Jim ordered. Once the waiter had disappeared, he popped the cork on the champagne and poured two glasses, handing one to Blair. "To getting to know one another better," Jim toasted, keeping it neutral. He would rather have toasted those incredible blue eyes, the luscious full lips, or what he imagined to be an incredible body, but he didn't want to send Blair running for the nearest exit.

Blair clinked his glass with Jim's and took a sip of the bubbling wine. Setting the glass down, his eyes grew serious. "You've spent a lot of time over the past weeks getting to know me," he started, "but I haven't had a chance to get to know anything about you. I know you're a detective with the Major Crime Unit, but what else is there about Jim Ellison that I should know?"

"I suppose that's only fair, since I'm asking you to trust me," Jim said, settling back in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. "I come from a rather dysfunctional family. My mother left when my brother and I were quite young. Our father was a strict disciplinarian and often pitted me against Steven for rewards. As soon as I was old enough, I signed up with the Army to get away from home. I trained as an Army Ranger and went into the Special Forces Unit. After I'd attained the rank of Captain, I was given a command and sent to Peru on a mission to help the local population defend a strategic pass against the invading local army. Our helicopter crashed and I was stranded in the jungle. All of my men died in the accident."

"Oh my," Blair interrupted. "That must have been devastating. Were you able to radio for help?"

"No. The radio was fried and I was left on my own. I buried the bodies and then went to find the local tribe to carry out what I could of my mission. The Chopec took me in. While I was there, my sentinel abilities blossomed for the first time. If it hadn't been for the tribe's shaman, Incacha, I would have gone insane."

"He acted as your guide," Blair stated, knowing he was right.

"He was my teacher... and my guide," Jim confirmed. "He taught me the way of 'le sentinalia'."

"He was your lover." Blair's face had lost a bit of color at the revelation, but he seemed nonetheless fascinated by Jim's account.

"Lover, mentor, guide... he was all that to me," said Jim.

"How long were you stranded there?"

"Eighteen months. But when the rescue group came, I didn't want to leave. They had to force me to come back to Cascade with them."

"Torn away from your bonded guide... It must have been devastating. Surely they found you another right away?"

"They paired me with a guide," Jim confirmed. "We bonded and worked well together, but there was never that special pull to bond that I'd felt with Incacha."

"And that you feel toward me?" Blair hesitated. Jim knew he'd felt it too. It was the reason, after all, that Jim was courting Blair so vigorously.

Jim nodded, casting his eyes down at his lap. He knew he was treading on dangerous ground even bringing up how he felt about Blair. He didn't want to feel that wall drop between them again, as it had two weeks ago. He was rescued from further disclosure when their lobster was brought to the table. The next hour was spent in light conversation, discussing everything from the weather to the latest player trade between the Cascade Jags and the Portland Trailblazers; carefully avoiding anything to do with sentinels and guides.

When they'd finished, Jim led the way out of the restaurant and down to his truck. "I hope you're not in a hurry to go back to Gillis House."

Blair shrugged. "Not particularly. Why?"

"I've got something I want to show you."

"Okay." Blair climbed into the truck. "I'm in the mood for a little adventure."

Jim pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street. What he had planned was risky, but he couldn't think of a better time. They drove in silence for the next ten minutes. Jim took a right on Prospect Avenue and drove for three blocks, pulling into a parking space across from a warehouse apartment complex.

"What's this?" Blair asked as they got out and entered the building.

Jim led him over to the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. "You'll see in a minute."

They walked down the hall and stopped in front of apartment #307. Jim pulled out his key and opened the door, ushering Blair inside.

"Nice...!" Blair looked around appreciatively.

"Welcome to my home," Jim said, taking Blair's jacket and hanging it on one of the hooks next to the door.

"This place is yours?" Blair wandered through the kitchen and into the living room, making his way to the large glass doors that opened onto a small balcony. Making his way outside, he took in the night view of the harbor. Not that different than the view had been from the restaurant. "I'm impressed."

"It's not much," Jim said with an offhanded shrug. "I was able to buy it when I got out of the Army. It's someplace to come home to."

"I've never been able to afford anything this nice," Blair said, coming back inside.

"There's something here I want to show you," said Jim, leading the way back through the main room toward the kitchen, and then taking a left into a small hallway. He stopped outside a pair of French doors, opening them to display the room beyond. "I fixed this up for my guide."

"I thought your former guide slept with you?" Blair stepped around Jim to get a better look at the small room. A twin bed, covered in a bright Peruvian blanket, took up nearly a third of the available space. There was also a desk with a reading lamp, a chest of drawers, and a closet. Shelves on the walls held native knickknacks that Blair thought looked like they may also have come from Peru.

"He did. This used to be a storage room," Jim explained. "But after I lost Glenn, I decided to fix it up. I didn't know if my new guide would want that kind of a relationship or not."

"You fixed this up for me, didn't you?" Blair turned to look at Jim, certain of his conclusion.

"I thought... I was hoping it would make you more comfortable," Jim explained. "I thought that maybe if you had your own space, you'd realize that I wouldn't force an intimate relationship on you. I was hoping it might help you to decide."

Blair backed away from the room, toward the front door. "It's a very nice room, Jim, but... this is moving a little too fast for me. You're making assumptions here, and I haven't even decided yet whether to continue to string you along, or just cut you loose. I don't want to be a guide again, man. I don't think that I could."

"I'm sorry." Jim stood rooted to the spot in front of the bedroom. "I - I certainly didn't want to scare you away. Please tell me that I didn't ruin everything here. Give me another chance?"

"I dunno," Blair said, reaching the door and grabbing his coat. "I like you, Jim. I really do. But this is too much, too fast for me, okay? I think maybe we need a little time apart."

"A week? You'll let me call you in a week?" Jim was beginning to feel desperate. He realized that his action in bringing Blair here might have been the worst thing he could have done, but now there was no way to undo it.

"I think I need longer than that," Blair said, stepping through the door into the hall. "I'll call you."

"Wait!" Jim called, darting over to the door and grabbing his coat. "At least let me take you back to Gillis House."

"That's all right. I'll get a cab," Blair said, heading off down the hall.

Jim watched him go, feeling his future walking away. With a heavy heart, he closed the door and looked around his empty apartment. Somehow, the space felt even more empty than it had before he had brought Blair home.

Jim tried calling Gillis House several times in the following weeks, but was always told that Blair was not available or that the guide didn't want to talk to him. Three weeks had passed since that disastrous night when Jim had taken Blair to his apartment, and he was getting anxious. He knew there was something there, something between the two of them. Blair seemed to like his company, or at least tolerate his presence. But now, it seemed as though the young man was suddenly trying to cut him off. To cut off feelings that frightened him.

He'd had enough of waiting. If Blair wanted to call off this courtship, so be it. But he'd have to tell Jim to his face and not hide behind the skirts of the shelter's receptionist. Making his decision, he called into the station, claiming a day of the comp time he'd accrued, then got into his truck and drove over to Gillis House.

Jim strode into the lobby and past the front desk, anxious to check on Blair. The receptionist moved to block his path and reached out to grab the sentinel's arm.

"You can't go back there," Jeri said, halting Jim's progress toward the hall. "Blair requested that he have no visitors. I'm sorry," she added when Jim turned to give her a nonplused look.

"What do you mean, no visitors?" Jim asked, jerking his arm free. "He hasn't called or come by to see me in three weeks. I just want to make sure that he's all right."

"He's fine, Detective," Jeri assured him. "It's just that he's still processing everything that went on during his visit to your home." She guided Jim over to a small couch in the corner of the lobby and sat down beside him. "Blair went through a very traumatic relationship with his last sentinel. He likes you, and that's the root of his problem. He's not ready to be a guide again, and yet he enjoys your company. He's confused and he needs time to think things through."

"I'd never hurt him," Jim said softly. "I'd never force him to do anything he wasn't ready for. He knows that."

"Intellectually, he knows that," Jeri agreed. "But emotionally, he's been scarred. He wants to believe you, but his former sentinel had made promises too - promises that he didn't keep. You're going to have to find a way of reassuring Blair, of getting past his trust issues, if you want to have any hope of convincing him to be your guide."

"But how can I do that, if he won't see me?"

"He will. It just has to be in his time, not yours. Understand?" Jeri patted the sentinel's knee, as she connected eye to eye with the bewildered man.

"I suppose," Jim agreed, frowning. "I guess I'm wasting my time here, then. You'll tell him I dropped by?"

"Of course, Detective Ellison. And don't worry, Blair will call you when he's ready."

Jim turned to walk out the front door. He was halfway through when a soft voice caught his attention. He turned to see Blair standing in the hallway.

"Jim?"

Closing the door, Jim stepped back into the lobby but made no move toward the younger man.

"I - I'm sorry," Blair said, his head hanging as he stared at his shoes. Lifting his head, he looked into Jim's eyes. "I just needed some time. Do you want to come to my room?" He lifted a hand and motioned Jim to come closer. "I think it's time we talked."

Jim entered the small room and looked around. A twin bed sat in one corner, near a window that looked out over the back yard of the shelter complex. A dresser sat against the wall across from the foot end of the bed and there was a small table with two chairs and a reading lamp just inside the door. To his right was a small bathroom with a sink, toilet, and a cramped shower stall.

"Would you close the door, please?" Blair asked, walking around the bed to pull down the blinds on the window, blocking out the view. "And lock it?"

Jim did as he was asked and then stood near the door, not advancing further into the room without an invitation.

"You deserve to know why I haven't called or visited," Blair began. "It's not you, man. It's me," he said, fumbling at the buttons on his shirt. "I don't think I'm ready to be a guide again. I like you, Jim, I really do." Blair shed his shirt, tossing it onto the bed, then pulled his undershirt over his head, adding it to the pile. As he began on his belt buckle, he looked squarely at the sentinel. "But Daniel... well... he made promises and then he hurt me." He stepped out of his jeans, hesitating for a moment with his thumbs tucked into the elastic band of his briefs. "The bruises are gone now, and most of the wounds have healed, but the scars are still there." He pulled down his briefs and kicked them off to the side, standing naked in front of the startled sentinel. "See for yourself." Blair stretched his arms out and parted his legs.

Jim approached slowly, his eyes roaming over the pale flesh of the guide, seeing the welts and puckered skin left by the healed crop lashes and cigarette burns. He reached out to touch the scar tissue, but hesitated just millimeters from making contact.

"It's okay," Blair whispered. "Some of them can only been 'seen' with touch."

Jim brushed his fingertips across a lash on Blair's left shoulder and let his touch drift lower to a nipple puckered by a cigarette burn. He felt a tremble in the flesh at his delicate touch and looked up to see Blair staring blindly at the opposite wall, his lips pressed together as he endured the examination. Jim quickly evaluated the damage. Crop welts crisscrossed Blair's abdomen and back, with the most severe scar blazed across his penis and inner thigh. There were cigarette burns on his scrotum and nipples. As Jim parted Blair's ass cheeks, he felt another small shiver wrack the slender body. Another crop welt raised puckered flesh across Blair's anus.

With a shudder of his own, he grabbed Blair's shirt and shoved it into his hands. "Put something on," Jim demanded.

Blair pulled on the shirt and picked up his briefs and jeans, quickly donning the castoff clothing. "Now you know," he said softly. "I want to be able to say yes to you, Jim, but I just can't. Not yet."

"I didn't know..." Jim said, dumbfounded by his new knowledge. "I knew you said he beat you, but this... this was torture! Why? Why would any sentinel do something like that to his guide? A guide is the most precious person in a sentinel's life. The guide needs to be protected above all else!"

"Daniel was an alcoholic," Blair said, settling in one of the chairs next to the table. "When he got drunk, he'd tie me to the bed and try to force me. When I refused, he brought out his crop, or burned me with his cigarette. He didn't need any other excuse."

"I'm not like that, Blair. I swear!" Jim's complexion was still ashen, his mind reeling with visions of the angry scars across the pale skin.

"I know." Blair tapped the closed lid of his laptop. "I've been doing some research; checking you out. I even called down to the police station and spoke with Captain Banks, your boss. You've got a clean record. You don't smoke or drink excessively. Everyone I've talked to that knows you says that you're an upstanding guy. Even Jeri likes you." He grinned.

"Why? Why would you go to that trouble when you don't want to be a guide again?"

"I'm afraid to be a guide again," Blair explained. "But... I can't deny how my body has reacted to you. Every time we spend some time together, I end up hard and aching, with an empty feeling after you leave. I've tried to deny it, but I'm a guide... My genetic profile has doomed me to that role, and I can't deny the pull of the bond. I either have to take a chance and trust you, or ask that you never call on me again. I just can't stand the separation after your visits anymore."

"So, what is it that you want to do?" Jim asked, praying for one answer, while dreading the other.

Blair got up, walking around to the far side of the bed and picking up a small suitcase. "I knew you were coming," he explained. "So I had my suitcase packed and ready. This is all I have. I'm ready to go."

Jim could hardly believe his ears. Suddenly, he felt full and whole again. He would do whatever he had to do in order to continue to earn the trust of his new guide. He silently swore that Blair would never again suffer from any form of brutality. From now on, his guide would know only love and gentleness, in whatever form he felt the most comfortable.

Blair set his suitcase down in the small bedroom and began to put away his extra clothes in the dresser and the closet. He set up his laptop on the small desk and arranged his few books on the shelves with the artifacts.

"We can remove those if you need more room," Jim commented, standing in the door and watching his guide settle in.

Blair reached up to a small figurine on the shelf, fingering the crudely carved stone. "Oh, no, man! These are great! They're from Peru, aren't they? Did you bring them home with you?"

"Yeah," Jim said, nodding. "They're all I have left of the time I spent there."

"Of your birth as a sentinel," Blair said reverently. He smiled at Jim as he finished putting his books on the shelves. "I was an anthropologist before I became a guide," he told Jim. "I love things like this!"

"Then you can keep them as long as you like," said Jim. "They're yours."

"Oh no! I couldn't accept them!" said Blair. "But I'll hold them in trust for you. I'll take very good care of them."

"I'm sure you will." Jim turned and took a few steps toward the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I could fix some sandwiches."

Blair took stock of his feelings. His head was still spinning from his impulsive decision to move in with Jim and be his guide. His stomach was still knotted with stress, even though he tried to convince himself that this was the right thing to do.

"I'm not very hungry right now," he finally replied. "But you can eat something. Please, don't let me stop you. I think that I'll just lie down for a bit, if you don't mind."

"Suit yourself. If you get hungry, come and help yourself. This is your home now; you're not a guest here."

Jim got out the bread and then decided on the simplicity of peanut butter. Making his sandwich, he grabbed an apple and a glass of water and went to sit out at the table.

Jim couldn't help but listen in as Blair quietly closed the French doors. There was a rustle of sheets and the distinctive rasp of cloth against skin as the guide stripped down to his underwear. It took several minutes before Blair's breathing settled into an uneasy sleep.

After finishing his lunch, Jim took the dishes into the kitchen and then went to use the bathroom. He paused outside Blair's bedroom, doing a sensory sweep of his guide to make sure everything was all right. Convinced that Blair was comfortable, he went to relieve himself and then walked out to stand on the balcony overlooking the bay.

The view had never seemed quite so beautiful as it did today. White, fluffy clouds dotted the sky, reflecting in the blue water of the bay. Sailboats canted into the wind, playing tag with each other on the choppy water. Seagulls flew overhead, screeching their territorial warnings to others of their kind. Today was no different from a dozen other days, and yet everything had changed.

A cry jolted Jim from his unscheduled nap on the couch. He jumped up and ran over to Blair's room, throwing open the doors and entering. The guide was thrashing, tangled in his sheets, fighting off an unseen enemy. Kneeling next to the bed, Jim reached out to grasp Blair's arms and stop the thrashing.

"Blair! Blair, wake up! It's me, Jim."

The fighting grew momentarily more intense, and then Blair opened his eyes, looking around fearfully, as he gasped for breath.

"It's okay. You're safe here. Nothing's going to hurt you," Jim said, calming the frightened young man. "What's the matter? Were you dreaming?"

"S - Sorry," Blair said, catching his breath. "I didn't mean to disturb you. I should have told you earlier... I suffer from sleep terrors. I - I don't remember what I was dreaming about."

Blair tossed back the covers and sat up. Jim got off the floor and sat beside him on the bed, pulling the shaken guide against his chest protectively. Blair let his head drop to Jim's shoulder, grateful for the support.

"When I first got to Gillis House, I was having the terrors every night, sometimes more than once a night," Blair confessed. "But as I settled in and got comfortable there, they diminished. I was down to just one or two a week. But now..."

"Now you're in a new, strange place, living with someone you barely know, putting yourself into a situation similar to the one that caused the terrors in the first place," Jim said, finishing for Blair.

"Yeah," Blair agreed with a sigh. "If you have some white noise earplugs, I'd suggest using them for a few weeks so that my 'episodes' don't disturb your sleep at night. This isn't something I can control, and I don't want you to suffer for it."

"I won't suffer," Jim promised him. "It's my duty as your sentinel to help you get past the fear. I need to make you feel safe here."

Blair looked up at him, blue eyes shining. "I already do," he said simply. Pulling away from Jim's embrace, he ran his hand through his hair. "I think I'm ready for that sandwich now, if you don't mind."

Jim smiled as he heard Blair's stomach protest the skipped meal. "Not at all. You tidy up, and I'll get some lunch ready for you."

After Blair had eaten, Jim gathered up the dishes and put them in the sink. "If it's all right with you, I'd like to take you shopping this afternoon," he said, turning back to his new guide. "You came here with just a single suitcase of stuff. If you're going to work with me down at the station, you're going to need more clothes."

"You don't have to -" Blair began. "I have a little bit of savings."

"I want to," Jim insisted. "Let's go."

They walked down to the truck and drove to the Cascade Gateway Mall.

"Some decent jeans and a few shirts are good enough for everyday wear," Jim said, leading Blair down the aisles and helping him to choose his new wardrobe. "You have a suit, but it wouldn't hurt to have a spare."

"This is too much, Jim. You need to let me buy some of this stuff," Blair protested as they piled more clothes on the checkout counter.

Jim headed back out toward the dress suits without answering. "I like this charcoal pinstripe," he said, holding the jacket under Blair's chin to get an idea how it would look on his guide. "Why don't you find your size and try it on?"

Blair let out a resigned sigh and headed toward the dressing rooms.

When they'd finished with the clothes and had stashed their purchases safely inside the truck, Jim led Blair back into the mall.

"What now?" Blair wondered. "You've already bought enough for me today, Jim."

Jim headed straight for the book store, pulling Blair behind him. "Why is it that you had so little that you could pack everything into one small suitcase?" Jim asked, pausing just inside the entrance to the store.

"Well, I - I..." Blair stuttered, surprised by the unexpected question. "When I left Daniel, I had to get out fast," he explained. "I didn't have time to do more than grab a few essentials and get the hell out."

"I only saw you with a handful of books; no music, no other entertainment," said Jim.

"Gillis House has a library and a recreation room," Blair said. "I wasn't bored."

"But you will be now. I don't have those kinds of luxuries in my home," Jim said. "I want you to have a little something you can relax with. So, what do you like to read?"

Blair wandered over to the anthropology section and began perusing the selections. "I majored in Anthropology in college," he said, fingering a book on native tribes in New Guinea. "I'd just completed my Master's degree when I got drafted as a guide. Daniel wouldn't let me continue at the university, so I had to drop my plans for working on my doctorate."

"That's a pretty lofty ambition," Jim commented. "Of course, as a guide, you need to put your sentinel's needs ahead of your own. Maybe Daniel felt you might neglect him if you continued your studies."

"I wouldn't have!" Blair protested, turning to look at Jim with a glint of fire in his eyes. "I know my priorities, and the sentinel comes first!"

"Hey, calm down, Darwin!" Jim said with a soft chuckle. "I believe you." He pulled the book out of Blair's hand and added it to the shopping basket. They picked out two more books before Jim steered his guide over to the music section. "You need to pick out some CDs," he instructed, turning to the rock section and thumbing through the Santana albums.

Blair disappeared behind several rows of music. Jim discovered him a short time later, standing in front of the International Music section, holding a selection of five CDs.

"I can't decide," Blair said, looking over his selections.

"What have you got there?" Jim's eyebrows rose when he saw what Blair had picked out. It was an eclectic assortment of music ranging from aboriginal didgeridoos to African drums to Gregorian chants and Native American flutes and drums. Shrugging, he grabbed all five from Blair's hands and tossed them in with the books. "Why make your head hurt deciding between them? We'll take them all."

"Jim..." Blair protested again. He was overwhelmingly grateful for the generosity of his new sentinel, but on the other hand, he felt he was becoming increasingly indebted to the man. It had to stop here and now, or Blair was afraid he'd become mired in the situation beyond his ability to escape. "Jim, look, man, I appreciate everything you're doing for me. I really do. But if this keeps up, I'm going to feel like you own me. I'll never be able to pay you back. I want to be able to earn my own money and buy my own stuff."

Jim looked quizzically at his guide as he carried the basket to the checkout. "I'll receive an increase in my pay once you're officially recognized as my guide," he explained. "The department gives the extra stipend specifically so that the sentinel can support his guide. You can have anything you want, within reason. All you have to do is ask."

"I want some money of my own," Blair insisted. "I don't want to have to be dependent on you for everything. I don't want to have to ask for everything that I want."

"Then I'll give you an allowance," Jim said, conceding that Blair might like the illusion of some independence. "Would two hundred a month be enough? You won't have to buy your own food or clothing," he added.

"You're missing the point," Blair continued to argue. "I want to work, outside of the sentinel-guide thing, and earn some money of my own. Money that doesn't come from you. Daniel 'owned' me in a way that made me feel more like a slave than a partner. I need some space. I need my independence."

"You'll be too busy working with me," Jim said. "I work a forty-hour shift, and am on call evenings and weekends. When do you think you'd have time for an outside job?"

"I could tutor math and science at Rainier University," Blair said. "That's part time work that can be fitted into any schedule. And it's flexible enough that if something came up and you needed me, I could drop what I was doing and reschedule for another time."

"You really want this, don't you?" Jim wrapped an arm around Blair's waist as he took the bag of books and CDs and steered his guide back out into the mall.

Blair nodded. "Yeah, I do. It would mean a lot to me. I need to feel like I'm your partner, not your property."

Jim stopped, shocked by Blair's last statement. "You're not my property! What would make you think something stupid like that?" His mind drifted over their just-completed shopping trip, pausing momentarily on each purchase and each accompanying protest. "Oh, God, Blair! I'm not trying to buy your service by getting you these things. You needed them! It's my duty as your sentinel to see that your every need is provided for. You're the one doing me the service. This is just a way for me to say 'thank you'."

"I'm not ungrateful; don't get me wrong," Blair said. "I appreciate everything. Thank you. It's just..." He sighed. "I'm sorry. It's been a long and eventful day. I've still got a lot of processing to do to wrap my head around the idea that I've agreed to be a guide again."

"I suppose you're right," Jim conceded. "It is a bit much for one day. How about I take you home and you can just relax... chill out. Then, tomorrow, I'll take you down to the station to get your credentials so that we can start working together. After that, I'll take you over to the university to get set up there."

Blair nodded. "Sounds good to me. Thanks, Jim."

That night, Jim lay in bed, listening to the snuffles and snores coming from the bedroom below. Blair's sleep was not restful. Sharp hearing picked up the increase in heart rate just before Blair awoke, screaming.

It took Jim only a few seconds to reach his frightened guide. Climbing onto the small bed, he gathered Blair into his arms, whispering calming, soothing words. They lay, spooned together, until Blair finally settled down.

"Sorry." Blair's voice was barely above a whisper.

Jim pulled the blankets over them both and settled into a comfortable position behind his guide. "Everything is going to be all right," he said softly. "Just go back to sleep."

Exhausted from the long and trying day, Blair drifted back to sleep, comforted in the arms of his sentinel.

The following morning, Blair awoke to the smell of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. He stumbled out of bed, rumpled and sleepy, and headed toward the kitchen.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" Jim greeted him with a smile. "Why don't you go take a quick shower? I can hold breakfast for another fifteen minutes."

"Thanks, man." Blair smiled at the sentinel and made his way into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, he emerged wearing his bathrobe, his hair damp and curling in ringlets around his face.

"Take a seat," Jim said, carrying the frying pan to the table to dish up the eggs onto their plates. Bacon and toast already waited on plates in the center of the table. Coffee and orange juice were situated off to the side. "Are you ready for another big day?" he asked, sitting down across from Blair.

"As ready as I'm going to be," Blair said, digging into the food. Eventually, he looked up, catching Jim's eyes and holding them. "Thanks for last night. You didn't have to stay, you know."

"Yeah, I think I did," Jim said softly. "You needed the reassurance."

"I slept really well after you came," Blair admitted. "I haven't slept that soundly in over a year."

"Maybe you should let me hold you every night," Jim suggested. "You're going to need your rest, if you're going to work as my guide."

"You need your rest, too," Blair argued. "That couldn't have been comfortable for you, cramped on my small bed."

"Actually," Jim said, thinking about the night before, "I slept very well myself. But we don't have to be cramped. I have a king-sized bed upstairs."

"I - I'm not sure I'm ready for that," Blair stammered, his gaze dropping to his plate.

Jim sighed, knowing he'd committed a faux pas in mentioning his bed. "I didn't mean it that way," he said quickly, trying to undo some of the damage he'd done. "We'd just sleep. I'd hold you, like I did last night." He paused and looked across the table at his guide. "It was good last night, wasn't it?"

"I'd rather sleep in my own bed, if you don't mind," said Blair, picking at his food.

"Whatever makes you the most comfortable," Jim agreed. "Now, eat up and get dressed. We've only got another forty-five minutes to get down to the station."

They exited the elevator on the sixth floor and walked across the hall to Major Crime. As they entered, Jim pointed to a desk near the doors. "That's mine," he said. "But first, I need to introduce you to my captain." He headed through the bullpen toward a frosted glass door with the name 'Simon Banks' imprinted in gold. He gave the door a quick rap, and then opened it and walked in.

"Good morning, Simon!"

"Oh, Jim! Good to see you again," the Captain greeted his detective.

"I wanted you to meet my new guide: Blair Sandburg. Blair, this is Captain Simon Banks, the head of this department."

"It's very nice to meet you, Guide Sandburg," Simon said, coming around from behind his desk to extend a hand in greeting.

"Nice meeting you, too," Blair said, his voice soft and a bit uncertain. He shook the captain's hand and then retreated a step behind Jim, where he felt safe from the towering black man.

Jim turned to his guide and placed his hands gently on Blair's shoulders. "Why don't you go out and wait at my desk? I've got a few things I need to discuss with the captain in private."

Blair nodded and quietly left the room, closing the door behind him. Jim watched as his guide ran the gauntlet of stares back to his desk, where he sat, trying to look inconspicuous.

"Look, Simon... I need some more time off. Blair... has issues. He's having a little trouble adjusting to the idea of being a guide..."

"What's the matter? Isn't he trained? You've got to have a fully trained guide, Jim!" Simon insisted. "It's too dangerous for you to be on the job with a rookie."

"He's fully trained," Jim assured his captain. "It's just that... well... his last sentinel physically abused him. He didn't want to be a guide anymore, and I..." He paused to sigh. "...convinced him he needed to try again."

"And why did you try so hard, if you knew he didn't want the job?"

"He's special, Simon," Jim said, running a hand through his thinning hair. "He's my soul mate. I just have to get past the fear; teach him that he can trust me."

"And how long is that going to take?" Simon wanted to know.

"Well..." Jim thought a moment. "I was hoping to ask for a month off -"

"I'll give you two weeks," Simon said. "But they have to come out of your vacation time."

"Come on, Simon," Jim cajoled. "I need more time than that. Blair is... well, he's scared. I'm not sure that two weeks is enough."

"Make it enough or find yourself a new guide," Simon said. "I'm sorry, Jim. I'd like to accommodate you, but I need you back here, working."

"I understand." Jim nodded. "Thanks, Simon. I owe you one."

"And don't think I won't collect," Simon growled as Jim exited the office.

When Jim got to his desk, he found Blair busily working on the computer. "What are you doing?" he asked, seeing an arrest report on the screen.

"Just making myself useful," Blair said, looking up with a grin. "I found some of your hand-written reports on the desk and decided to input them for you."

"But you don't know anything about our forms and protocols," Jim protested, looking over the work that Blair had already completed.

Blair shrugged. "It's not rocket science. It was easy enough to figure out."

Jim's eyes widened as he saw that everything Blair had done was correct. Maybe this partnership was going to work out after all. "Thanks, but we need to get you down to Personnel to get the paperwork started."

"Fine with me." Blair got up and followed Jim out the door and down the hall to Personnel.

"Hi, Vera," Jim greeted the woman behind the desk. "This is my new guide, Blair Sandburg. We need to get the paperwork started for his credentials."

Vera reached under the counter and pulled out a stack of forms and a thick procedures manual. "I'll need to have you fill these out and read the book," she said.

Blair took the forms over to a table and sat down. He began filling them out, then looked up at Jim with concerned eyes. "Once I get these done, will I be licensed to carry a gun?"

Jim shook his head. "No, but you will be authorized to accompany me to any crime scene and to see any documents that my clearance allows me to see."

"That's a relief." Blair went back to filling out the forms. "I hate guns."

"Look, Chief; there're a few things I need to get done here before we leave. I'm going to leave you in Vera's capable hands, and I'll be back in an hour to check on you. Okay?"

"Sure, Jim. That's fine," Blair agreed. He looked up from his work to smile at Jim. "I don't feel threatened here."

"See you soon, then." Jim turned and left, glancing over his shoulder at his guide as the door closed behind him.

Vera produced a plastic cup with a lid from her stash under the counter. "We're also going to need a urine sample," she said. When the guide looked up with a puzzled frown, she added. "It's procedure. Everyone who works for the department has to submit to a drug test."

Blair got up and took the cup. "Okay. Fine. Where do I go?"

"There's a men's room just down the hall," Vera said, pointing out the direction.

Blair left and returned again five minutes later with the cup full. Handing it to Vera, he went back to filling out his forms. Jim arrived, as promised, an hour later, just as Blair was finishing up.

"Just another minute, Jim. I'm nearly ready."

"Well, hurry up. I'm anxious to get home while we still have some morning left. We've got some packing to do," Jim said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

Blair finished and handed the forms back to Vera. "Packing? Where are we going?"

"How do you feel about camping?" Jim asked as he led Blair back down the corridor to the elevator.

"The great outdoors? Fishing? Hiking? Campfires? Love it, man!" Blair said, grinning. "I haven't been camping since... well, since my last expedition with the university."

"This will hardly be that kind of camping," Jim said. "I've got in mind a remote campground up in the mountains. One where the RVers can't get to. You actually have to park and hike in, carrying all your equipment."

"How far?"

Jim shrugged. "A mile. Maybe two. I can carry the heavy gear."

"No. No, that's not a problem," Blair said, his smile returning.

"Want to stop off at the university on our way home? I did promise, after all," said Jim.

"There are only a couple weeks of school left this term," Blair mused. "And I don't expect there's going to be a lot of call for a tutor during the summer session. I'll go in this September and sign on then. Maybe I can contact Professor Buckner after we get home from camping; let him know I'm interested and available."

"Sounds like a plan," Jim agreed.

They got home and busied themselves packing enough for two weeks in the wilderness. Jim went to the basement storage unit of his building to get the tent, sleeping bags, and other camping gear. When he got back to the apartment, he found Blair waiting, his backpack propped against the wall near the door.

Dividing the gear between them, the two men shouldered their load and headed back down to the truck. On their way out of town, they stopped at the supermarket to pick up the fresh food and canned goods they would need.

"I think it's going to take us a couple of trips to get this all packed into the campsite," Blair commented as they put the last of the groceries in the back next to the cooler.

"It'll be worth it; you'll see," Jim promised.

The drive up to the mountains was peaceful. Blair spent most of the trip leaning against the passenger side door and staring out the window at the passing scenery. Jim managed an occasional glance in his guide's direction, but decided not to disturb his thoughts. Blair was being quite the trooper, agreeing to go on an isolated trip like this with his new sentinel. The young man didn't know what to expect from Jim, so this was an extreme case of trust. Jim was determined to treat it as the special gift that it was, and do nothing that might spoil their budding relationship.

It was a stretch, Jim knew, but he still held out hope for a sexual union with his new guide. The attraction was strong, in both directions. He'd seen and smelled the evidence on Blair on several occasions since they had first met. He understood the young man's reluctance, considering how his former sentinel had treated him. And, Jim reminded himself, Blair still considered himself straight. He'd never had intercourse with another man, and didn't think he wanted it. Jim wondered how conflicted Blair was when the arousal overtook him. Had he ever stroked himself to completion while thinking about Jim? After every visit to Gillis House, Jim had come home to fulfill his own sexual fantasy; jerking off while pretending it was Blair's hand working his hard cock. Just the thought stirred arousal, which he quickly pushed down so as not to unsettle his skittish passenger.

The drive took nearly three hours through the winding mountain roads. It was past noon by the time they reached the primitive parking area next to the trail head. The two men got out of the truck and stretched their stiff limbs before going around to the bed of the truck to begin unloading the camping gear.

"How about we have some lunch before packing in to the campground?" Jim suggested, taking two brown bags out of the cooler and handing one to Blair, along with a bottle of beer. "I took the liberty of making sandwiches. I figured we were going to need them," he added with a crooked grin.

Leaning against the cab of the truck, Blair dug into his food. "This is good. I'm glad you thought to bring lunch. I'm not sure I could have made the hike without something to eat."

"You need to put a little meat on those bones of yours anyway," Jim teased, poking at Blair's ribs.

The guide shied away from the touch. "Cut it out, Jim! That tickles!"

"Oh, ho...! Ticklish are we?" Jim's grin turned devilish. He reached out, wiggling his fingers toward Blair's ribs.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Blair skipped away, darting around the truck.

Jim followed, easily catching the smaller man, and pinning him against the truck, tickling mercilessly.

"Cut it out, Jim! Stop! Stop!" Blair was laughing and clawing at Jim arms, trying to wriggle out of the strong grasp. "Uncle! Uncle!" he finally cried.

Jim backed off, panting and laughing. "You should never admit to being ticklish," he warned. "Not ever. The guys in Major Crime will take you down if you do."

"I'll remember that," Blair said with an embarrassed laugh. He bent over to pick up the sandwich he had dropped. Dusting off a few pine needles, he finished his meal.

Jim eyed his guide casually. The soft scent of arousal was wafting toward him on the mountain breeze, and he could see the slight bulge growing in the younger man's jeans. Choosing to ignore the obvious signs of attraction, he circled the truck and finished unloading their gear.

"I'll take the tent and the equipment. You carry in your stuff and the sleeping bags," Jim directed. "We'll come back for the food."

Both men shouldered their loads and began the hike into the pristine forest. As they walked deeper into the woods, Blair could feel the tension begin to melt away. There was no way that a sentinel could have missed his obvious arousal, and yet Jim had said and done nothing. Perhaps he really was different from Daniel.

They walked out of the forest into an open meadow surrounding a clear, blue lake. There was a dock and a small boathouse several hundred yards to the north, and marked camping spots to the south. Jim turned south, passing the nearest campsites, until he came to a large outcropping of rock. Around the outcrop was a more secluded site, and this was where Jim dropped their gear.

"This is really beautiful," Blair said, looking around. "And it looks like we've got the whole place to ourselves."

"It's still a little early for camping season," Jim said, unrolling the tent. "We shouldn't be disturbed here at all. How about a little help?"

Blair helped sort out the poles, and soon they had the tent set up and staked securely to their campsite. Stowing all the other gear inside for the time being, they went back to the truck for the food and fishing gear. Jim secured a tarp over the bed of the truck and locked the doors, pocketing the keys. Patting a blue fender in passing, he grinned at Blair.

"This is the last you'll see of civilization for the next dozen days."

"Let's stop talking and start hiking," Blair said, taking the lead on the walk back to the campgrounds.

After arriving, they finished setting up camp, and Jim showed Blair around the grounds. There were outhouses for the campers' convenience, but no running water for showers. They would have to boil lake water to drink and cook with in this primitive setting. The boathouse had two rowboats and a canoe that could be rented on the honor system. A daily charge of ten dollars stuffed into a locked wooden box would get them their choice.

"Is there any chance we could get a little fishing in this afternoon?" Blair asked wistfully. "It's been a long time since I handled a rod."

Jim's mind immediately flashed to an image of Blair's sure, strong fingers curling around his erect penis. A slight blush tinged his neckline, as he fought back the arousing thought. Maybe this vacation trip was going to be harder than he thought after all.

"Jim?" Blair was looking at him curiously. "You all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Jim assured him. Recovering his composure, he answered his guide's question. "Well, I think it's too late to take out a boat. It gets dark up here in the mountains earlier than it does down in Cascade. But there's a stream that feeds into the lake about a half mile from our camp. We could go fly fishing there if you want."

"Sounds great! Let's go!" Blair hurried back to their tent to grab the fishing poles, net, and tackle. "Lead the way!"

It began getting dark less than two hours later, but Blair had been able to make the lone catch of the day: a trout large enough to feed them both.

"Hey, heh! Not bad for a first time fly fishing!" Blair bragged, bringing the fish back to camp.

"You caught it, you clean it," Jim quipped. He grinned as Blair grimaced and set about gutting the fish. Getting the campfire going took only a few minutes, after which Jim rummaged through the rest of their groceries for something to heat up as a side dish.

They settled down to their dinner, eating with ravenous appetites. Blair huddled close to the fire, shivering in the cool mountain air as darkness descended on the camp.

"It gets a little chilly up here at night this time of year," Jim commented, taking off his heavy jacket and draping it over Blair's shoulders.

Blair shrugged the coat off, handing it back to its owner. "Thanks, Jim, but you should wear it. It's cold up here!"

"I'm not as cold as you are," Jim said, pushing the coat back into Blair's hands. "I'll finish up here, rinse the dishes and bank the fire. Why don't you go inside the tent where it's warmer?"

"You sure?" Blair asked, hesitating just outside the tent flap.

Jim nodded. "Get inside and crawl into the sleeping bag. That will warm you up."

When Jim entered the tent a few minutes later, he was greeted by a confused and hesitant guide.

"You zipped the two sleeping bags together," Blair said, sitting up, huddled in a corner of the tent with the two coats pulled around his shoulders.

"I thought since you have the night terrors and we have to sleep together anyway, that this would be the warmer alternative," Jim explained. "Look," he said, practicality winning out over desire, "we'll just sleep. I promise. Trust me, you'll be more comfortable this way. Now, take off those coats and get into the sleeping bag."

Blair did as he was instructed. Jim slipped in behind him, zipping up the bag and wrapping an arm around Blair's waist from behind. Spooned together, Jim let Blair pillow his head on Jim's outstretched arm. "Comfortable?"

Blair nodded and then yawned. "It's been another eventful day," he commented sleepily.

"They'll get easier from now on," Jim promised.

The next morning, Jim woke up with a stiff arm and a stiffer cock. His morning boner pressed hard against his guide's denim clad ass. Blair stirred, stretching and yawning, and then suddenly stilled.

"Jim?"

"It's all right," Jim said, unzipping the sleeping bag and climbing out. "It's a proximity thing. I wasn't going to do anything about it."

"Sorry." Blair rolled over and stared at Jim's bulging crotch for a few moments. "I - I should help you with that."

"No. No, it's okay," Jim said, waving Blair off. "Not your fault."

"But in a way, it is," Blair said. "I'm your guide. While sexual intercourse isn't necessary to secure a good bonding, it's still quite common. Most sentinels react to their guides that way." He waved at Jim's crotch, which had grown in size as they talked. "Daniel used to make me touch him." Blair shuddered. "He'd make me perform oral sex and he'd come down my throat. If I refused, he beat me."

"I'd never make you do that," Jim said, honestly repulsed at Blair's story. "I don't want you to be afraid to sleep with me just because this is the result. I have to go use the bathroom, anyway. I'll take care of it while I'm there." Without another word, Jim turned and crawled out of the tent, heading north past the outcropping to where the line of outhouses stood.

Once Jim had left, Blair reached down into the sleeping bag to massage his own morning erection. He groaned as his arousal built, knowing that it wouldn't be good to come in his pants, since he didn't have many changes of clothes with him. He crawled out of the tent and made his way to the tree line behind their campsite. Finding a convenient bush, he pulled out his cock and thrust his hand three times, coming with a strangled cry into the shrubbery.

This wasn't going to be easy. He found himself attracted to Jim in a way that he never had thought possible. Daniel had forced manual and oral sex on him, but had never gone quite so far as raping Blair, although he'd tried. That was probably because, Blair thought ruefully, he had preferred the crop or a burning cigarette to having that man's, or any man's, cock inside his ass.

But this morning.... This morning he had come dangerously close to actually wanting to see Jim, to touch him, to watch him come. This was the beginning of the sentinel-guide bond the way it was supposed to be: loving and giving, not taking or hurting.

He zipped up his pants and hurried back to the tent. The campfire had gone out overnight, so he set some kindling and got the blaze going once more. He got out the iron skillet and the carton of eggs, and began to make breakfast. By the time Jim returned, he had a plate of scrambled eggs ready to offer his sentinel.

After breakfast, the two men hiked to the north shore of the lake, checking out the area and familiarizing themselves with their surroundings. Blair took the opportunity to test his sentinel's senses. The great outdoors with all its smells, sights, and textures was a perfect setting for him to get to know the extent of Jim's abilities.

"Wow, man! You're a machine!" Blair crowed with pride as Jim picked out a family of Canada geese nesting on the far side of the lake. "Most sentinels I've known about or studied don't have half your range. How'd you learn to do that?"

"My abilities were originally honed in the jungle," Jim explained. "Most sentinels learn their skills in an urban setting."

"Do you have much problem with zoning out?"

Jim nodded. "It's why I need a guide so badly. I get too focused, and need someone who can really watch my back, who can bring me back if I go too far."

"Let's try something else; another sense," Blair said, getting excited. "How about hearing? Why don't you concentrate, and tell me everything you hear."

"That's going to be quite a list," Jim said with a chuckle. "But okay, here goes. The wind in the trees, that family of geese, a doe about a hundred yards to our left, a bear..." When Blair startled, Jim turned to him with a reassuring smile. "He's at least a mile from here." Going back to his cataloging, he noted every sound, right down to a beetle scurrying through the grass.

Blair was about to comment on Jim hearing the insect, when he realized that the sentinel had gone silent. "Jim?" He reached out to gently shake the man standing in front of him. "Jim? Are you with me, or did you zone out?" Blair sighed. "Oh, man, you're testing me, aren't you? Come on, Jim, come back. Dial back on your hearing. Concentrate on touch instead. Feel my hand on your arm; feel me rubbing your back. Come on, man. Don't scare me like this. Jim?"

Jim shuddered and blinked, then turned to look at Blair. "I did it, didn't I?"

"You sure as hell did!" Blair exploded with anger, which was merely redirected fear. "You scared the shit out of me! I didn't think I was going to be able to get you back."

"Haven't you ever talked a sentinel back from a zone before?" Jim asked, puzzled.

"Hell no! Daniel never did shit with his senses, so it wasn't something I ever had to deal with. When I became a guide, I got training, sure, but doing it in a controlled learning environment and doing it out in the field are two really different experiences!"

"Well, whatever you did, you did it right," Jim said. "Look, I think we've had enough of sensory tests for one day, don't you? How about we rent that boat and go out fishing on the lake?"

"I could get down with that idea," Blair said, nodding. "I need a little time to chill. Fishing is perfect. Only this time," he added with a mischievous grin, "you get to clean the catch!"

Sentinel and guide fished the lake for the rest of the morning, eating sandwiches they'd packed so that they could stay out on the lake into the afternoon. The hours had been spent in companionable small talk, with each man dancing around the subject of their growing attachment to each other. Finally, around four o'clock, they decided to call it quits and rowed back to the rental dock.

Jim picked up their catch - three trout and two bass - and led the way back toward their camp.

"I think I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon reading the procedures manual," Blair stated as they neared the tent. "I haven't had a chance to crack the book yet, and I've got a lot of studying up to do."

"There's plenty of time for that," Jim argued. "We've got nearly two weeks up here."

"But I don't know shit about being a guide for a police detective," Blair explained. "There's a ton of stuff I need to learn, and I've got to learn it fast, if we're starting work when we get back."

"You've got a point there, Chief," Jim finally relented and agreed. "All right. It's my turn to clean the catch and fix the meal, so you go study."

Blair headed for the tent to fetch the manual, and then made himself comfortable next to the campfire to read.

As the sky grew dark, Blair yawned. A full stomach and an afternoon of reading had made him sleepy. "I think I'm going to turn in early," he said, closing the book and looking across the glowing embers of their fire to where Jim sat, staring out across the lake.

"Blair..." Jim turned to his guide, his voice hesitant. "About this morning..."

"What about it?"

"When we first woke up... I'm sorry. You've got to know I won't act on my feelings - not until you're ready, if you ever are." Jim spread his hands, palms up, beseeching Blair to understand.

Blair laid the book on the ground next to his chair and folded his hands in his lap. "You didn't frighten me," he explained. "I know how the sentinel-guide bond works, and when the attraction is strong, it's often expressed sexually. I'm flattered that you think so highly of me."

"Daniel wanted sex with you, too," Jim said. "But you weren't so understanding with him."

"He was a cruel man," Blair explained. "He didn't want intercourse for the sake of love or the bond, he wanted it so that he could make me submit, to show his power over me. That's why I never let him touch me that way."

"So he hurt you instead..." If Jim had been a lesser man, the thought would have made him cry. Instead, his heart ached with love and the need to protect his guide.

Blair shrugged. "Better that than the alternative."

"So you're still a virgin to anal penetration."

"I'm still a virgin to most ways of loving a man," Blair stated flatly. "I had a girlfriend before I became a guide. Having sex with another man never entered my mind. It just wasn't something that interested me."

"And now?" Jim asked, feeling any hope for a relationship with his new guide begin to fade. "You know," he said, interrupting what Blair had started to say, "you don't have to worry. I made you a promise that if you agreed to be my guide, I wouldn't push you, and I don't go back on my word."

"This morning," Blair repeated slowly, "after you left the tent... I had to go take care of the same problem myself." Jim's head jerked up and he stared at his guide. "It wasn't what I was expecting, but I think we're bonding. The emotional connection is getting stronger and this was my body's way of telling me I've found the right match." Blair fidgeted, picking up small sticks and bits of debris and tossing them into the fire. "You'll have to be the guide in this," he said softly, "because I don't know what to do." He looked up at Jim's shocked face and a small, self-conscious grin curved the corners of his mouth. "Let me rephrase that. I know the mechanics, who doesn't? But I've never really tried.... With Daniel, I just wanted to get it over with. It wasn't pleasurable for me, and I doubt it was more than a power trip for him. I want it to be different between us."

"Oh God, Blair! It will be, I swear." Jim slipped out of his chair to kneel in front of his guide and take his hands, squeezing lightly. "I didn't bring any supplies, since I never expected this... gift. But there are other ways besides intercourse to show our love."

Blair nodded and took a deep breath. "I've got a lot to learn," he said softly, "about how to be a proper guide. And what I need most isn't in the book."

"Then let me give you your first lesson," Jim said, standing and pulling Blair to his feet. They stood facing one another, Jim's arms lightly wrapped around Blair's waist and rubbing his back soothingly. Blair's blue eyes sparkled with anticipation, overlaid by a light mist of trepidation. Firming his embrace, Jim pulled his guide to him, pressing his lips against Blair's mouth.

Blair tensed briefly, and then relaxed, leaning into Jim and opening his mouth in anticipation. Jim's tongue slid inside, exploring, tasting, cataloging his guide. Tentatively, Blair's tongue fought back, dueling with Jim's until the sentinel retreated and allowed Blair entrance to his mouth. Blair's arms wrapped around Jim's waist, squeezing, as he came up on his toes to get a better angle. The kiss became a crushing, bruising duel of passion between the sentinel and guide, until the two had to part in order to breathe.

"Oh... my... God..." Blair panted, reeling from the onslaught of emotions. He felt an unexpected swelling in his groin, an aching longing that both puzzled and excited him.

Jim brushed loose tendrils of hair away from the flushed face of his guide. "You okay?" He studied the bright eyes, dilated with passion until only a thin line of blue surrounded the inky blackness.

Blair nodded. "Yeah... I think..." He gasped in a few more breaths, trying to calm his hammering heart as his hand pressed hard against his growing erection. "I'm fine," he finally said. "But, Jim... I've got this little problem...."

"Will you let me help?" Blair nodded mutely, and Jim led the way into the tent.

With infinite care, Jim lowered Blair onto their sleeping bags and peeled off his coat. Brushing a hand across the flushed face, he leaned in once more for a brief brush of lips against lips. "Do you trust me?" he asked. Blair nodded, still trying to control his breathing and his heart rate. "Then just relax and lie back."

Blair did as he was instructed, his heart hammering with anticipation and fear. As Jim unbuckled his belt and slowly unzipped his jeans, releasing the trapped erection, Blair sighed with relief.

"Any time you want to stop, just say so," Jim said softly. He began to massage the cotton-clad mound, stroking his hand up and down the trapped length of the hard shaft.

"Ahhhh... feels so good," Blair moaned, gasping when Jim peeled back the elastic band of his briefs to brush his thumb across the swollen head of Blair's penis.

"We can learn to pleasure each other," Jim said, smiling at the reaction he got as he continued his gentle ministrations. "Making love doesn't have to be a chore; something we feel we have to do to further the bond. It should be good... for both of us." As he spoke, he pushed Blair's shirt up under his armpits, exposing most of his chest, including the rosy nubs of nipples that were already tight from arousal and the cool night air. He began kissing the hairy flesh from just above Blair's navel, working his way up until he captured an erect tit between his teeth. He bit down lightly and tugged, eliciting a howl of approval from his guide.

"Oh... God... Jim..." Blair's breath was coming in breathless pants. "Much more of this, and I'm going to come!"

"That's the idea, Einstein," Jim teased, peeling the briefs completely down Blair's hips, exposing his erect penis and heavy scrotum to the cool night air. Wrapping his fingers firmly around the shaft, he began to thrust with his hand as his mouth continued to explore Blair's chest and abdomen.

"Jim! Jim!" Blair cried, trying to get the sentinel's attention. "I'm going to come! Now! Now!" He began to squirm, trying to hold back the inevitable, but with no success. Jim's hand moved from his shaft to cup and massage his balls, while his mouth descended on the swollen glans, engulfing it in a moist heat.

The feel of his cock in Jim's mouth tipped Blair over the edge. His control gone, the guide's cry rent the night air as his cock pumped semen down his sentinel's throat.

When the climax ended, Blair was like a limp rag, sated and well-used. His eyelids were heavy, as he fought to stay awake after the soul-draining orgasm. "Oh, wow... Oh, man... I never... never felt like that... before."

Jim slid up the supine body, planting a kiss on the gaping mouth of his lover, allowing Blair to taste himself in Jim's mouth. The kiss was passionate, but brief. Blair broke away, still struggling to get his breath.

"It gets better," Jim promised with a slight grin. He began tugging Blair's clothes off the relaxed body, finally helping to roll his naked guide into their sleeping bag.

"Better?" Blair questioned, sleepy but perplexed. "How could it get better than this?"

Jim quickly stripped and crawled in behind Blair, zipping the bag shut against the cold mountain air. He wrapped an arm around Blair's waist from behind, his fingers brushing lightly through the thick fuzz on Blair's chest. "You've got the next ten days to learn," he whispered, nuzzling his face into the fragrant hair. "For right now, let's get some rest."

Blair put up no protest, and was soon snoring softly as Jim continued his gentle stroking until he, too, fell asleep.

The following morning, Jim awoke with a boner pressing into the cleft of the naked ass of his partner and guide. He tried to shift away gently, not wanting to awaken Blair, but found moving in the confines of the sleeping bag difficult.

"It's about time you woke up," Blair groused good-naturedly, turning his head as best he could to look over his shoulder at Jim.

"You're awake!" Jim seemed surprised. "Sorry... I..."

It took some shuffling, but Blair managed to roll over so that he was facing Jim. "You couldn't tell? I would have thought my heartbeat would have given it away."

"My mind was concentrated on things a little further south," Jim mumbled, flushing lightly with embarrassment.

Blair chuckled. "Yeah, I noticed."

"It didn't bother you?"

"I suppose it did, a little, when I first woke up," Blair admitted. "But then I remembered who I was sleeping with." He placed a chaste morning kiss on Jim's lips and smiled. "I know you wouldn't take advantage of me like that. Now, can I... um... help you with your problem?"

"You'd do that for me? So soon?" Jim was amazed with how quickly Blair was coming around, now that he'd decided to open up with his sentinel.

Blair flushed with embarrassment. "You'd have to help.... Tell me what feels good, what you like," he said. "I've never tried to pleasure another man before. What I did with Daniel wasn't the same. I just wanted to get it over with. I didn't particularly care how he felt. I want things to be right for you."

"You don't have to do this," Jim said. "I can take care of it like I did yesterday."

"But that's the reason that I want to, Jim," Blair argued. "Because I don't have to; because it's my choice." He reached down, his fingers tentatively brushing against the hard shaft of Jim's erection. Jim's hand covered Blair's, pressing it against his penis, curling Blair's fingers around his shaft and starting a gentle thrusting motion from root to tip.

"Ahhhh... Yes, Blair! Just like that!" Jim's head fell back and he closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of Blair's hand massaging his cock. "Harder now. Faster," he instructed.

Blair concentrated on giving his sentinel pleasure, tightening his grip around the hard cock as he thrust his fist up and down the length, listening to Jim's moans grow in volume until, with a strangled cry, he came. Blair continued to pump his hand until the last droplets of semen dribbled out and Jim's penis began to soften.

"Oh, God, Blair! That was beautiful!" Jim gathered his guide into his arms and pressed his mouth against Blair's, kissing him thoroughly. "I love you. Thank you."

"I love you, too," Blair said, so softly that the sentinel almost missed the words. Then, turning to the more practical, he grimaced. "But now we have to air out the sleeping bag and clean off the stains."

"I'll take care of it," Jim offered. "Why don't you go down to the lake for a quick dip? I think we both could use a bath."

"Join me? You could take care of the sleeping bag later," Blair suggested, unzipping the bag to crawl out into the cold morning air. "God, it's cold!"

"Grab a couple of the towels," Jim said, crawling out beside his partner. "We'll just take a quick dip. We don't want to freeze anything important."

"Race you!" Blair called, darting out of the tent and across the beach to the edge of the lake. Jim followed on his heels, pushing his guide into the cold water.

"Fuck!" Blair swore as the water's temperature shocked his body into full wakefulness. "This water feels like melted ice!"

"All the more reason to rinse off fast and get out," Jim said, matching deeds to words.

They dried off quickly, and wrapping themselves in their towels, headed back to the tent to quickly pull on their clothes.

"Why don't you start breakfast," Jim suggested. "I'll go string up some rope to drape the sleeping bag over."

A half hour later, the two men were huddled around their campfire eating eggs and sausage, and drinking some strong, black coffee.

"What do you want to do today?" Blair asked.

"Why do we have to do anything?" Jim countered. "This is a vacation. We're supposed to relax."

"I suppose I should do some more reading in the manual," Blair said. "I barely made it past the first chapter yesterday."

"You don't have to finish that thing in order to work with me," said Jim. "Most of what you need to know, you'll learn on the job anyway."

"But I should be aware of basic police procedures, so that I don't screw anything up," Blair countered. "The last thing I want to do is make trouble for you... or get you killed."

"You'll do fine," Jim insisted. "Our bond is growing stronger. You've already shown that you can bring me out of a zone. You're an excellent guide, and that's what I need more than any other kind of backup."

"I never thought I'd say this again, but I want to be a good guide, the best. I want to be your guide, Jim. Forever." Blair flushed and turned away, embarrassed by the sentiment. "God, I can't believe I just said that."

"Blair..." Jim reached out and touched Blair's shoulder, turning his guide back to face him. "When I first arrived at Gillis House and found you, I knew then what I wanted. I wanted you for my guide, forever, and fully bonded. But I knew I might not get that, and I was willing to settle for whatever you were willing to give. I needed a guide so badly - I needed you so badly - that I was willing to sacrifice the intimacy in order to work with you. But you found your way to trusting me. To trusting me enough to let me love you, and to love me in return. Blair, I know we still have a long way to go, but you've already given me the best. You are the best... guide and lover. Now," he said, standing and dusting off his jeans, "enough sentimental crap. I'm going for a walk. You can stay here and read, or come with me." He banked the fire and turned south. "I remember that there was a trail head up this way. Leads to a spectacular view from that promontory over there," he said, pointing to a jagged cliff face.

The climb had been steep and tiring, but Blair had to admit that Jim had been right about the view. It was quite spectacular. The lake spread out below them like a sparkling jewel nestled in a box of forest green velvet. The sky was light blue and dotted with puffs of what his mother had called "Kodak clouds". It was the perfect Kodak moment, and Blair snapped the picture in his mind to remember. A picture that included Jim, lit by the warm spring sun.

Blair felt his jeans grow tight and wondered how much his growing bond to the sentinel had to do with his increasing sexual arousal. When he had agreed to be Jim's guide, sex had not been a part of the bargain. It had not been a part that Blair had even wanted to consider. He'd shown Jim his scars from his time spent with Daniel. Those scars went deeper than the marks on his flesh; they seared his soul. But as the ache in his groin grew, he knew that the healing he'd long ago given up hope of finding had finally begun. His perfect bond mate had found him. Not only found him, but cherished him, cared for him enough to give him the time he needed to come to this point himself. And now that these new feelings were blossoming, Blair knew he wanted more. He wanted to learn how to give his sentinel pleasure, and he wanted to learn how to receive pleasure in return, without the fear and loathing that sex with Daniel had caused.

Jim turned and smiled at his guide. "Who knew that a little hike and a pretty view would affect you like that?"

"L - Like what?" Blair stuttered, embarrassed at being caught out by his sentinel.

Jim snorted with laughter. "Oh, come on, Blair. You can't hide that from me. The scent of your arousal is nearly strong enough to knock me over. There are ways of dealing with that, you know."

"I know. I know," Blair fretted. "But it's not that bad. We're, like, up here, out in the open, exposed. I'm not wanking off at the top of a cliff."

"Who said anything about wanking off?" Jim sidled over to where his guide stood. "Have you ever heard of frottage?"

"Frott..., um, yeah," Blair stuttered.

"Feels good," Jim purred, bracing his hands on Blair's shoulders and rubbing his groin, hard, against a slender hip. Blair could feel Jim's cock harden as the rubbing and pressure continued. "I could keep this up until... Unnngh!" Jim grunted and the front of his jeans darkened as his climax spilled into his pants. "There you go, it's just that easy. Your turn."

"I - I don't think so," Blair said almost shyly. "It'll go down on its own, eventually."

"But why suffer when you don't need to?" Jim asked. "You said you trust me. You said you wanted to learn what you need to know to be my guide."

"I didn't know it was going to include this." Blair gestured down at his pants, still bulging from his trapped erection.

"Maybe what Daniel was trying to tell you in his own, sick way, was that sex and gratification are very much a part of the sentinel-guide bond," Jim explained. "Intercourse isn't necessary to cement a good, solid working relationship, but sex does make the bond stronger. It's well accepted by everyone that sentinels and guides are drawn to each other that way. Nobody thinks twice about it."

"Unless they're a heterosexual guide bonded to a same sex sentinel," Blair muttered. "I don't fully understand the attraction here. I'm not gay. I don't even feel gay. So why does your mere presence arouse me? Why am I getting wild fantasies about having my brains fucked out?"

"You're getting wild fantasies?" A slow grin began to spread across Jim's face, making Blair's blush deepen.

"Cut it out! It's not your damn business what my fantasies are!" Blair huffed, folding his arms and turning his back on Jim.

The sentinel waited a heartbeat and then reached out to lay a gentle hand on Blair's shoulder. When he spoke, it was softly and full of compassion. "It is my business, when those fantasies concern me," he said. "I don't want to hurt you, or scare you, or push you to do anything before you're ready. I just want to help you right now. There's no shame in being aroused by your sentinel. Having sexual fantasies about me doesn't make you gay. It makes you my guide. My guide; no one else's. You wouldn't have feelings like this for any other man. Trust me. It's the bond between us, asserting itself physically. It's a good thing, Blair. It means we were meant to work together, to live together as sentinel and guide." He turned Blair around to face him once more. "I know you're embarrassed, and that it's taking you a while to get used to these new feelings, but let me help you with this now. Please." He gathered Blair into his arms and held him tight.

The pressure continued to grow in Blair's jeans. As Jim hugged him, pressing him close, the pressure became unbearable. Blair began to hump against the firm body of his sentinel, his motion growing more frantic as his climax spiraled upward. His cry of completion echoed off the rocks of the promontory and he crumpled to the ground in relief.

"There... that wasn't so bad, was it?" Jim asked, crouching down next to his guide and brushing the hair off his flushed face. Blair just shook his head and fought to control his breathing as he came down from the incredible high he'd just experienced.

Finally, Blair pushed himself back up to his feet and brushed the pine needles off the seat of his pants. The needles were a little more stubborn on the wet patches of his jeans. "Looks like we need to get back to camp and change clothes," he said. "Just what we need. More laundry."

"But the sleeping bag should be aired out and dry now," Jim said encouragingly. "How about we spend the afternoon fishing?"

Their time together flew by all too quickly. Days of rustic camping were filled with mornings of fishing and afternoons where Blair studied his procedures manual, while Jim took long walks in the woods, communing with nature and letting the peace and solitude sharpen and renew his senses. The nights were spent learning each other's bodies, their likes and dislikes.

As the days passed, Blair's confidence grew and he boldly explored the many different ways that men could gratify each other, short of actual penetration. He learned more about frottage and fellatio, about the joys of the "69" position, and how to make Jim scream for mercy before finally allowing him release.

He learned how to trust.

He learned how to love.

As they packed up to hike back out to the truck, Blair sighed. "I kind of hate the idea of going home. Out here, it all felt so... natural. Like the ancient sentinels and guides of tribal cultures. And now we have to go back to civilization."

"Well, civilization has its advantages, too," Jim assured him. "For one thing, there's lube."

Blair's laughter echoed out over the lake as they made their way back to where the truck was parked.

"Home, sweet home," Jim said, dropping their gear under the coat hooks behind the door.

It had been a long drive home after the hike out of the campgrounds, and both men were exhausted. They'd stopped along the way to grab a quick dinner at a local cafe, and so were ready to call it a night.

"Amen!" Blair agreed. "I'm asleep on my feet."

"We'd better get a shower and head straight for bed, then," Jim suggested. "That extra day camping means we have to go into work tomorrow morning."

"Hey, man, don't remind me," Blair said wearily, trudging toward the bathroom and shedding his clothes as he went.

Jim picked up after his guide, dumping the dirty clothes in the hamper before stripping and joining Blair in the shower. Too tired for any shenanigans, the two men concentrated on getting clean and then headed upstairs.

The alarm went off at five AM, and Jim slapped the snooze button, rolling over to wrap an arm around Blair's waist and bury his face in the mountain of curls splayed out on the pillow. Ten minutes later, the alarm buzzed again. Groaning, Jim rolled over to slap the snooze a second time, but a firm grip stopped him.

"Turn it off," Blair said. "We need to get up and get ready."

"It's five in the fucking morning!" Jim complained. "Who needs three hours to get ready for work?"

"I'm nervous," Blair explained.

Listening, Jim could hear the unusual rapidity of Blair's heart. "What's there to be nervous about? You've been to the station, met our co-workers."

"It's my first day as a real guide," Blair explained. "Think of it like the first day of a new school year. Don't you remember how you were excited and nervous at the same time? Ready to go meet friends, but scared about your new classes, new teachers? I'm wound up. This is exciting, but it's also all new, and I'm a little scared."

"You don't have anything to worry about. You'll be great!" Jim said, leaning in to give Blair a gentle kiss. "We've made great strides toward becoming a bonded sentinel and guide pair this last two weeks. We'll kick ass out on the streets."

"I think you nailed it, Jim," Blair said, staring hard into Jim's steady blue gaze. "We made strides toward becoming a bonded pair, but we haven't taken the last step yet. I'm not ready to be presented to the world as your guide, since the bond isn't complete."

"But, you're asking for..."

"I know what I'm asking for," Blair said firmly. "Why do you think I set the alarm for five o'clock? It's not because my complexion looks better by moonlight."

"Are you sure?" Jim asked. "We've just gotten home, and you're still adjusting. I mean, you've come a long way, but... are you sure?"

"Yeah." Blair nodded. "I'm sure. I'm nervous, but I trust you, Jim. I want to do this. I want you to make love to me fully. I want you inside me."

Jim swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. He wanted this more than anything. He'd wanted it from the first day they'd met. But he'd told himself, convinced himself, that the day would probably never come. Yet, here was Blair, offering his trust, making himself vulnerable and open, despite the abuse his body had endured in the past, willing to place his virginity in Jim's hands.

"All right, but we have to take this slow," he explained. "First of all, you have to relax. The first time can hurt a little, and it's easier if you're not tense."

"I don't know if I can relax," Blair said. "I'm so tight right now, I'm vibrating."

He wasn't kidding. Jim could feel the minute tremors shaking the bed beneath him. Reaching beneath the blankets, Jim began to gently stroke Blair's cock. He leaned forward to kiss his lover, claiming his mouth and tasting every corner with his tongue. His free hand carded through the thick curls, coming down to cup and support Blair's neck as their kiss intensified. As the gentle lovemaking continued, and Blair's erection began to grow, Jim could feel some of the tension draining away from the taut body.

When they finally broke apart to breathe, Jim smiled down on his disheveled guide. "I think I have a technique that will leave you very relaxed. It's a form of masturbation. Are you up for it?" Blair nodded.

Jim gently rolled his partner onto his back and grasped the erect cock. "All you have to do is relax and lie perfectly still," Jim instructed. "Let me do all the work here, okay?" Blair nodded again. Jim placed the index finger of his free hand against the sweet spot on the shaft of Blair's cock, just below the flared corona of the glans. He began tracing small circles with his finger, moving the flesh of the sweet spot around, rather than gliding his finger over the taut skin. Blair began to squirm and Jim had to remind him to relax and lie still. He didn't need sentinel senses to feel the pulse of blood increase in the already turgid cock. The organ in his hand began to throb and then to buck, causing Blair to flinch and cry out.

"God, Jim! Get on with it, will you? You're killing me!"

"The idea is to prolong the orgasm," Jim explained, keeping up a steady pace as his finger continued to trace circles against the sweet spot. "Just lie back and relax." He smiled as Blair tried to comply. Jim could feel the semen climbing higher inside the pulsing cock as it bucked faster in his hand, making it hard to control the rhythm of the circles. "Don't tighten any of your muscles, especially the one around your bladder," he instructed. "Just lie still and let it come. Let it come. Let it come," he crooned, feeling the rise of the semen until Blair ejaculated with a loud cry. Keeping a firm grip on the pulsing cock, Jim continued his massage as Blair emptied himself in a spectacular fountain of come, and kept massaging the small circles until the cock in his hand began to soften.

"Oh my God," Blair breathed, hardly able to speak after the colossal orgasm. His penis continued to twitch, feeling enervated and extremely sensitive as it lay between his legs.

"Are you relaxed?" Jim asked, grinning, since the question was so obviously rhetorical.

Blair nodded, returning the grin. "Any more relaxed, and you'd have to pour me off this bed."

"Good. Then roll over onto your side while I get you prepared." Jim helped his lover get into position before he reached into the night stand drawer to withdraw the tube of lubricant he'd purchased recently when he was feeling optimistic about their relationship. Unscrewing the lid, he squeezed a large amount onto his fingers. Stretching out behind Blair, he let his lubed fingers part Blair's ass and tease the tight opening of his anus. "Don't tense up on me now," Jim whispered, kissing a bare shoulder to take Blair's mind off the probing fingers. "The gel will feel a little cool at first. This is my index finger going in." He felt his finger slip inside, up to the second knuckle. The muscle around his finger tightened briefly and a soft groan escaped Blair's lips before his guide managed to relax once more.

"That's it. You're doing great," Jim crooned. He pushed his finger in deeper, sweeping it around to lube the velvet lining, while he continued to pepper kisses across Blair's shoulders and neck. His lover moaned quietly, but the sound was one of unexpected pleasure, not discomfort. Grinning, Jim withdrew back to the first knuckle before inserting his second finger. "A bit more this time," he warned. "This might be a little uncomfortable. How are you feeling?"

"'m good," Blair mumbled.

Jim wasn't so sure. Blair's voice had an edge to it that he couldn't quite define: fear? discomfort? He pushed back up to a seated position and began stroking Blair's back soothingly as his fingers pushed inward, stretching and loosening the entrance to his guide's body. "Stay relaxed. Relax for me, Blair," he whispered. He felt a slight relaxation of the muscle, and the breath he'd been holding came out in a soft sigh of relief. "You can stop this at any time," he reminded his lover. "Just say the word."

Blair tipped his head up to look at his sentinel, and his eyes sparkled. "No way, man! I want this. I... ungh...." He grunted as Jim began to scissor his fingers to stretch the opening further. "I need this to be a part of our bonding."

"And so do I," Jim agreed. "But not until you're ready." His eyes scanned the scars left by Blair's former sentinel. Scars that marked every inch of the alabaster skin, including the genitals.

"I'm ready," Blair said. "I'm ready to put Daniel behind me forever. I'm ready to take charge of my own future. This is my choice, Jim. My decision."

Jim nodded and leaned down to steal a kiss, parting Blair's lips and claiming his mouth, as all else was forgotten but their passion for each other. When their kiss broke, he stretched out behind Blair once more and let his fingers slip from Blair's body. He pressed his cock against the lubed opening, feeling it slide slowly inside. His guide was consciously relaxing, allowing him entrance, trusting that Jim would never hurt him.

As they joined physically, Jim felt a warm presence in his mind, blanketing him with love and promising companionship and protection. He'd never felt anything like it, not even with Incacha. Sentinels and guides didn't need sex to bond and work together, but for those pairs who were intimate, the working relationship always seemed more fluid, more graceful, like a single entity in two bodies. Jim could understand that now. This was what it meant to find your soul mate.

His thrusts picked up speed and intensity as his orgasm spiraled toward climax. Blair's body was in perfect synch with his, hips thrusting back to take Jim deeper. He didn't want this feeling to end, and yet he couldn't hold back. With a cry, he came, pumping his seed deep into Blair's body.

They lay spooned together until Jim's softening cock finally slipped out on its own. To Jim's surprise, the connection was still there, still thrumming through his mind like the whisper of a melody.

Blair rolled over, wrapping his arms around Jim and smiling. "That was incredible! Do you feel it? The connection?" His voice was breathy with excitement. Jim nodded, brushing an errant curl from Blair's face. "We're bonded, Jim. Really bonded, the way most sentinel and guide pairs never are. I'll never be alone again. Do you understand what that means to me?"

"Yeah, I do," Jim said softly, realizing that he really did understand. He understood everything about this man in his arms, and it felt incredible. He leaned in to claim another kiss.

"I hate to be the one to break the mood," Blair said, when the kiss ended, "but if we want any breakfast this morning, it's time that we get up and get going."

Jim sat up and stretched, then got up and walked around to Blair's side of the bed. "You might be a little stiff and sore today," he warned as he helped Blair up, "but a warm shower should take care of the worst of it."

"I'll be fine," Blair assured his sentinel, smiling broadly. "At least now I feel like I'm really a full-fledged guide for the first time."

Jim wrapped an arm around the broad, bare shoulders and pulled Blair into a one-armed hug. "Then let's go show Simon and the rest of the crew what a real sentinel-guide team can do."

Filled with a confidence born from a fully formed bond, Blair lifted his head and nodded. As cliché as it sounded, this was the first day of the rest of his life, and it looked to Blair like life was going to be good.

"The best proof of love is trust." Dr. Joyce Brothers