From: 	Nancy Taylor[SMTP:taylorln@open.org]
Sent: 	Tuesday, February 04, 1997 6:23 PM
To: 	'TaylorLN@open.org'
Subject: 	Without Regrets -- An Interlude (01/01)

        This little vignette immediately follows my story "A Knight to 
Remember".  It tells of the conversation Nick and Nat had when he came 
back to her at the end of that story.  It should be placed before "A Taste of 
Mortality" in the stories' timeframe. 

Disclaimer:  These characters are not mine.  They belong to Sony/TriStar 
and were created by James Parriott and Barney Cohen.  I'm only 
borrowing them.  No copyright infringement was intended.


Without Regrets --  An Interlude
by Nancy Taylor
c 1997

        It had been three days ... three days since he had fled her apartment 
after their aborted attempt to make love.  Three days since he had 
proposed marriage and she had accepted.   Three days with nothing but 
flowers and small gifts to sustain her.  Three days of being alone....  He 
was gone, avoiding her, and she felt hurt.  She also felt some anger, but the 
fact of the matter was that she loved him and needed to see him again.  She 
wondered how long she would have to wait....

        He had fled her apartment that evening three nights ago.  He knew it 
was wrong to leave without talking to her, but he had been so afraid for her 
life that day and so mortified by his own behavior.  He hadn't had more 
than a small flask full of blood that fateful evening....  He hadn't had any 
business finding himself in her bed that morning.  But he couldn't help 
himself.  Damn!  Why did everything he tried to do have to go so terribly 
wrong?  He had proposed.  She had accepted.  That Valentine's Day 
evening had been glorious up to the point where he seemed to have lost his 
reason and found himself in bed with her.  He was frightened.  Frightened 
of losing her ... frightened of losing himself....  But now, after all that had 
happened ... now, would she even want him back?  They needed to talk, 
but would Nat be willing to hear what he had to say?  

        Her doorbell rang just as Natalie was cleaning up her supper dishes.  
She put the last plate in the sink to soak, dried her hands and went to 
answer the door.  He stood there holding a bouquet of wildflowers as a 
peace offering.  Words seemed to fail both of them for a moment as the 
whole world and time itself seemed to freeze.  Finally, giving herself a little 
shake, Natalie found her voice.
        "Nick...."  She faltered for a breath, then, "please, come in."  She 
gestured into her living room.  Nick took a hesitant step inside, handing her 
the flowers.  Words failing him for the moment, Nick found himself 
gathering Natalie in a tight embrace, burying his face in the volumes of her 
chestnut curls, taking in her wonderful scent.  Oh, how he had missed her!
        "Natalie...." he began. "Nat, we have to talk.  If you are going to be 
my wife, there are some things about me that you really must know...."  
His voice trailed off.  Holding him close to her, Natalie smiled.  She had 
hoped for a chance to talk, to clear the air, to learn about this man that she 
had come to love more than her own life.  She led him over to the couch 
and pulled him down beside her.
        "So, where should we start?" Natalie looked deeply into those earnest 
blue eyes and saw such pain and sadness there that she couldn't begin to 
comprehend.
        "I think with an apology would be a good place."  Nick tentatively 
took hold of Natalie's hand, engulfing it in his own.  "I shouldn't have run 
out on you that night, Nat.  I should have stayed.  I just ... I just ... I was so 
afraid.  So afraid of what I might do to you if I stayed.  Nat, I needed to 
feed.  I was a danger to you and I couldn't stand the thought of ever 
hurting you.  Ever."  His grip on her hand tightened and he seemed 
momentarily lost for words.  His head was bowed, he couldn't look her in 
the eyes.  Natalie took her free hand and tipped his chin up so that she 
could look at him.
        "I understand, Nick.  I understand a whole lot more than you want to 
give me credit for sometimes.  All you had that night was one small flask of 
blood.  It was inconsiderate of me to forget that fact."
        "Nat, it wasn't your fault.  None of this is your fault.  I should have 
thought it through.  I shouldn't have stayed.  I should have known that I 
wouldn't be able to resist you in my weakened state."  His head dropped 
again.  This was hard for him.  He wanted nothing more at that moment 
than to jump and run for the door ... but that wasn't why he was here.  He 
was here to face those fears and come to grips with them.  He was here 
because he was in love.  Natalie sensed that fear and gathered him into her 
arms as though he were a frightened child.  Somehow ... sometimes ... this 
big, strong, 800-year-old vampire seemed more like a child than a man.  It 
was this gentleness cloaking the strength that had so attracted her to him to 
begin with.  So much power at his command, yet he chose to live as a 
mortal, and love as a mortal.  But he wasn't a mortal, he was a vampire.  
How easy it was at times to forget that.
        "Nick, marriage is a partnership.  If you and I are really going through 
with this, you're going to have to let me take some of the blame sometimes 
you know."  She smiled gently at him.  "You don't take the blame when 
Schank screws up, do you?  ...  Do you?"  She gave him a gentle nudge in 
the midsection.  He shook his head.  "Well, see....  You have to take me 
down off that pedestal, Nick.  You need to be honest with me.  Treat me 
like your *equal*, not your superior.  Okay?"  She had to nudge him again 
to get any reaction.  "Okay?"
        "Nat, there's so much you don't know...."  Nick let out a sigh.  Just 
how hard was this going to be anyway?
        "Sooooo ... tell me.  Tell me everything."  Nat smiled encouragingly.
        <How hard was this going to be?  Well nigh impossible>, he thought.  
Then, drawing a deep breath and putting his arm protectively around her 
shoulder, Nick started at the very beginning....

        They talked throughout the night; Nick alternately confessing his 
many evils and lapsing into uncomfortable silences.  Natalie did her best to 
be supportive.  Yes, some of these revelations came as a shock.  She knew 
that because Nick was a vampire that he had to have killed, but the stark 
reality and brutality of it was more than she had imagined.  As hard as it 
had been for him, Nick had held nothing back, and when he was through 
Natalie held him as he cried on her shoulder.  She wept with him.  For all 
the evil he had been and done, she couldn't see him that way now.  He was 
a different person altogether, and she loved him.  God, how she loved him!  
It almost didn't seem possible, but she loved him all the more for the knowing 
than she had in her ignorance.
        It had been hard for Nick to accept that Natalie still loved him, that 
she hadn't shunned him for what he had been ... for what he was.  He was 
absolutely incredulous at her attitude, but was incredibly grateful for her 
understanding.  Somehow, with her acceptance, he found that he didn't 
hate himself as much anymore.  His resolve became firm.  From that 
moment on, he would do whatever it took to become mortal, to have 
Natalie with him the rest of his days.
        "Natalie," he pushed back from her a bit in order to look upon her 
wonderfully accepting countenance, "there's just one thing....  I really think 
we should delay the wedding until I'm mortal."  
        Natalie sighed.  She had figured that was coming.  "And what if you 
don't?  What if I can't bring you back across?  Nick, I want to be your 
wife.  I don't care what you are; I need to be with you."
        "I have faith, Nat.  I have faith in you ... in us.  We can do it, together.  
I know that we can.  Then we can be together the way God meant us to be.  
Don't you see?  As long as I'm a vampire, I risk killing you every time we 
even try to make love.  How would we ever even consummate our 
marriage?"  He was so serious, so sincere, so full of the light of hope and 
faith.  Natalie felt herself filled with the same hope and faith ... and longing.
        "I can wait," she said at last, with a sigh that belied her words.  "I 
want nothing more than to be with you, you know, but I love you enough 
to wait.  We're engaged, and that ought to be enough for now.  I love you, 
you love me.  Right?"  She looked into his eyes and saw a smile there; 
hope, love, faith, they were all right there in his eyes.  
        Nick gathered her into his arms then and rained a trail of kisses from 
her shoulder, up her neck, to alight on her lips in a passionate kiss of 
promise.

THE END

Slings and arrows and words of praise may be aimed at:

Nancy      <TaylorLN@open.org>
  * * Knightie with N&NPack tendencies 
  * * Original Adoptive Bat Mom  ^^v^^ 
  * * Proud Harbourlite of the Lobster Yacht Lot  
  * * FK-XStitcher -- "So many pictures ... so little thread"  :)