Pairing: Colin/Ephram
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Colin wants answers.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Wish I did, but right now the proper owners are doing a pretty good job, so I'll live. Please don't sue me--fandoms keep me broke.
Description: Colin wants answers.
Notes: To chelseafrew, the beta queen, a big thank you! And thanks to both you and marzilla for converting me to this show. It's nice to be able to look forward to Mondays. :-)
Series: In order - Fire and Ice, Control, Don't Let Go, Everybody's Fool.
Everybody's Fool
by Nicole D'Annais
Copyright 2003
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I feel like I'm stuck in a manga. Ephram said once that the main characters were like Superman waiting to turn into Clark Kent. That's me. All these people look at me like I'm some kind of superhero, and I'm not. I'm just Colin, and that's all that I want to be. The Clark Kent of Everwood.
Except I'm thinking maybe Clark Kent wasn't gay.
But then, I'm not sure I am either--though after this weekend, even I have to admit the evidence is kinda piling up. There've been times when I wished I could crawl inside Ephram and hide, let him protect me from the world outside until I'm ready to face things.
I never thought I'd actually get the chance to *be* inside him. And I definitely didn't think it would feel that good. So, yeah, evidence of possible gayness there. And if every minute of being gay would feel like that, I'd be first in the Rainbow Pride line.
But I grew up in Everwood, and I remember enough to know what this place is like. Hell, even if I didn't remember, the way everybody treats Ephram would've been a big clue. And they don't even know he's gay.
At least I think he's gay. Maybe he's having the same problem I am. After all, he was pretty into Amy while I was gone, from what I'm told. Funny how we have that in common.
Maybe Amy's gay.
Okay, so, not likely. And all of my speculation is putting off the test. Kinda ironic that the DVDs came yesterday. I put them in my Netflix queue a couple of weeks ago, after, like, my tenth dream about having sex with Ephram. Considering what we were doing at the time, and all the stuff I dreamed about, watching a few episodes of a show all about gay people seemed like a good way to find out once and for all--am I, or not?
So, parents gone, girlfriend gone, boy--well, whatever Ephram is, he's gone. Nobody home but me. Seems like as good a time as any for the test.
The second and third DVDs are lying on the bed beside me, mocking me. Fine. I press play, and the screen for the first DVD comes up.
Whoa. Places like that can't really exist, can they? I mean, all those guys...all over each other...in public? It's...well....
Okay, it's a little hot. But then, doing similar things with Ephram recently probably has a lot to do with that. So it still doesn't prove anything. And the blonde guy, he reminds me of somebody. Not really in looks so much, but something about him. Like he's out of place, only not entirely.
Kinda like Ephram. And that is not helping the test. I'm supposed to be testing my reactions to other guys. Not relating everything to Ephram.
Of course, these days I can't help relating everything to Ephram. He kinda takes over my brain, and he won't let go. Not that he's doing it on purpose. He's just always there.
Damn. They air this show on TV? That guy just stripped naked. And that kiss...
That is totally hot.
Well, judging from the state of my body, it looks like it's not just Ephram. Except maybe it is. I sure as hell didn't have these thoughts before he showed up. At least not that I know of. Before the accident, I was normal. And then I woke up, and he was there, and--
Dammit! I want to be normal! But no, I'm super boy, I'm the miracle head case, I'm Amy's dream, and Ephram's...whatever, and now, apparently, I'm gay.
"Fuck!"
The remote control to the DVD player makes a satisfying crash when it hits the wall. Only now I'm stuck watching this unless I get up. Which is not the most comfortable option right now.
I wonder if my parents will notice I have to replace the remote. They didn't notice the last time, but twice in two weeks might actually register on their radar. Not that they'll say anything. Destroying remotes is perfectly fine, if I do it. Because I'm perfect. I'm everything everybody wants me to be.
Except myself.
---
END
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Last updated 8/22/03.