Copyright: September 2003 by Robin R. Neher

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANY PREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS THAT MAY BE VIOLATED. FEEL FREE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS, BUT NOT FOR PROFIT. THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS
USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSON AND/OR PERSON'S ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: A time for us.

Author: Robin R. Neher

Status: Part 1

Rating: R

Pairing: Roy DeSoto/John Gage

Archive: Yes

Fandom: Emergency!

Summary: Former spouses reunite.

Content Warning: Harsh language. Mention of a M/M relationship.

A time for us.
By Robin R. Neher

It was a pretty Sunday in Los Angeles. The sun was shining as an old man sat, watching children play in the park. As he watched, a great sadness came over him.

"Thirty-five years." The man mumbled to himself. "Thirty-five years ago, our divorce was final."

"Hi." A voice from the man's past greeted. "Come here often?"

"Hi yourself." Sixty-five year old Roy DeSoto replied. "Thanks for meeting me here."

"Your voice is raspy now." Noted Joanne Loring, Roy's ex-wife.

"That's from all the years of eating smoke." Roy replied. "The fat belly is from all the years of firehouse cooking. Morton was right, that kind of food is hazardous to your health."

Both laughed, but Roy was overtaken by a coughing fit.

"Excuse me." Roy coughed. "Damn emphysema!"

"Take your time." Jo replied.

Roy coughed a few more times, then spoke again.

"Jennifer got married today?" Roy huffed.

Jo nodded. Time had treated her better then her ex-husband. Her hair was white now, but her eyes were the brilliant blue Roy had remembered.

"You're as beautiful as ever." Roy rasped. "How's Chris?"

"He's a Captain now. station fifty-one, B-Shift." Jo smiled with pride. "Jen just got her Paramedic certification. She's on squad 45, A-Shift. You were invited to the wedding."

"I know, but I'm not sure she would've wanted me there." Roy rasped. "I had no right to show up there, not after all these years. I messed up so badly back then. Jo, that's why I had to see you one more time. My lungs could go anytime. I want to make things right before I die."

"Roy, you aren't dying yet." Joanne reminded him. "I talked to Dr. Brackett. She told me you're in the early stages of your disease."

"It's hard to believe that the nurse I knew thirty-five years ago went to medical school and got Kel to the altar." Roy smiled.

"Dixie always knew what she wanted." Joanne smiled.

"It's too bad that I didn't then." Roy shook his head. "I loved you so much then."

"I loved you too." Joanne told Roy. "Roy, I do care for you. I always have. We were so in love in those days. Where did we go wrong?"

"You married a screw up." Roy told her. "A worthless screw up. I never could do right by you or those kids. I made promises that I never kept. I was a dreamer."

"Roy, we both were." Joanne offered. "I wanted you to be the success I thought you deserved to be."

"I had so many chances for promotion." Roy recalled. "My trouble was that I let others govern my life then."

"Especially John Gage." Joanne smiled, knowingly.

"Yes." Roy agreed. "Even today, I can't understand why I was that way then ."

"Roy, I used to think that it was because you weren't man enough in those days to think for yourself."

"And now?" Roy prompted.

"I think that we, me and the kids, were just too much for you to handle then." Joanne admitted. "I don't think that you were as ready for a wife and a family as you thought you were then. I think that when the kids came, it was just overwhelming for you."

"I'd like to think that I did the best I could then." Roy offered. "There's a part of myself that feels that I failed them somehow. I wasn't the kind of father that I should've been, that's for sure."

"I believe that not everyone is suited for a wife and kids." Joanne soothed. "I think that you needed more than you were willing to admit to then. You yourself said that you needed something more than we could give you."

Roy shifted on the park bench as he took a breath. Joanne saw tears fill the crystal blue eyes of the man she'd once loved.

"You alright?" She asked.

Roy nodded.

"I hated to leave you like that." Roy choked out.

"Roy, I don't hate you for leaving as you did." Jo soothed. "I did then, but not now."

"How can you not?" He asked her.

"I hated you so much after you left that day." Joanne told him. "As the weeks passed, that hate began to consume me."

Roy nodded.

"When the divorce was final a year later, I knew that I had to get on with my life for the kids. As I was leaving court that day, I knew that we all needed help. So, we started seeing a doctor at Harbor General. With her help, the kids adjusted well."

"What about you?" Roy asked.

"I wasn't so lucky." Joanne admitted. "I was a mess there for awhile."

"Me too." Roy admitted.

"Why didn't you write or something?" Joanne wondered.

"I felt that you deserved better than me." Roy answered. "I didn't wanna hurt you more than I already had. I needed to get my own life in order."

"I understand." Joanne assured him.

END PART 1