Copyright: October 2002 by Robin R. Neher

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANY PREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS THAT MAY BE VIOLATED. FEEL FREE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS, BUT NOT FOR PROFIT. THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSON AND/OR PERSON'S ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: Criticized

Author: Robin R. Neher

E-mail: NRobin1027@aol.com

Rating: R

Pairing: N/A

Archive: Yes

Fandom: Emergency!

Summary: A temporary Captain's reprimand causes Johnny to consider leaving the Paramedics.

Content Warning: . Harsh Language. Angst.

Criticized

By Robin R. Neher

Johnny Gage looked Chief Houts in the eye as he stood across the desk from the Big Chief at headquarters.

"You're taking this awful hard, Son." The Chief said. "Maybe Captain Evans just said it the wrong way."

"No, Sir, he said I had no business being on a squad." Johnny told the Chief.

"Is this true, Captain?" Houts asked.

"Sir, you didn't see what I did at 51's." Captain Jake Evens replied. "Gage nearly killed himself at that fire! You were wrong and you know it, Gage!"

"Captain, that lady was about to jump! You and the engine were still ten minutes out!" Johnny argued.

"So you just rushed in!" Evans accused. "You just left your partner and rushed into a fully involved building! What if there had been a backdraft or a beam had collapsed on you?! Gage, you don't think! You're a damn hotshot who will either kill himself or someone else with his antics someday! How you even got into rescue, I'll never know! You obviously don't have the maturity for it!"

"CAPTAIN EVANS!" Houts roared. "Gage is one of the best Paramedics we have!"

"He's a hotshot!" Evans insisted.

"Captain, I saved that woman's life!" Johnny yelled, rising to his feet.

"Yeah, but put yourself in unnecessary jeopardy to do it! You could've died and taken DeSoto with you!" Evans shot back as he rose to face Johnny. "I hate you and your antics! You're a stupid clown and an idiot! I'll dance on your grave when you're dead!"

With that, Evans stormed out of the office, slamming the door as he went.

"Son, do you think that Captain Evans is right?" The Chief asked the young Paramedic. "Do you think that maybe you were overzealous on this rescue?"

"I don't know." Johnny admitted. "Maybe."

"If you could do that rescue all over again, what would you have done differently?" Houts asked.

"Chief, I sill think I did the right thing." Johnny stated.

"I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing in your shoes." Houts admitted.

"Maybe I would've waited for the engine, but the woman was freaking out." Johnny told the Chief. "She was getting ready to jump from the second story. I'm not sure she could've waited for engine 51."

"John, I want you to think about something. You may have made it out unscathed this time, but next time, you might not be so lucky." Hout said. "Dismissed."

Johnny snapped to and saluted the chief, then went to meet his partner, Roy DeSoto in the hall.

"You okay?" Reddish blonde Roy asked his partner as they headed out toward squad 51.

"He called me a stupid clown." Johnny told Roy. "Captain Evans."

"Johnny, I agree with the Captain that you were a little overzealous at this call. I don't remember you telling me what you were gonna do." Roy remarked. "How am I supposed to back you up if I or a Captain don't know what you're doing? If you'd become trapped in there, there was no way we'd have known where to look for you."

"Okay, I was wrong." Johnny sighed. "What would you have done in my place?"

LA, engine 110. We are working a fully involved motel fire. Respond me a second alarm assignment. The HT in Roy's hand buzzed to life.

Both men listened as multiple tones sounded.

Engine 8, engine 51, engine 2, squad 86, truck 103, battalion 14. Respond second alarm, structure fire at the highline motel. 32 Sunnydale Lane. 32 Sunnydale Lane. Crosstreet: Lily. Timeout: 11:02.

"Sounds big." Johnny remarked as he and Roy pulled away from HQ.

"There are no small fires." Roy replied.

"Squad 51, available." Johnny reported.

Again, tones came over the two way radio.

Squad 51, woman having a seizure. 1200 Kansas Place. 1200 Kansas Place. Crosstreet: 10th. Timeout: 11:05.

"Squad 51, 10-4." Johnny acknowledged as Roy turned on the lights and sirens.

As they sped toward the scene, Johnny's heart started to beat rapidly and sweat poured from his brow.

Take a deep breath, Gage. Johnny thought.

Squad 51, Cancel. LA advised a few minutes later.

"Squad 51." Johnny replied, then hung up the mic. "Roy?"

"Yeah?" Roy replied.

"Does it ever go away?" Johnny wanted to know.

"The adrenaline rush you get when a call comes in?" Roy replied. "Nope. I still get it each and every call."

"How do you not let that rush get the best of you?" Johnny wondered. "How do you not let it affect your judgment at a rescue?"

"You thinking about the rescue earlier?" Roy wondered.

"Roy, I keep thinking that Captain Evans wasn't completely wrong." Johnny stated. "What I did at that rescue was dumb, not to mention dangerous. I wonder if he isn't right? Maybe I would be better off not being in rescue or being a Paramedic."

Roy was shocked. He never thought he'd hear his partner of six months question his decision to join the Paramedics.

"Are you thinking of quitting?" Roy asked.

"Yeah." Johnny answered, truthfully. "Roy, I keep going over and over that rescue in my mind. I keep thinking that Evans was right and I was wrong."

As soon as they arrived back at station fifty-one, Johnny and Roy went into the kitchen for lunch. Johnny's face lit up when he saw a familiar face waiting for him.

"Mom!" Johnny smiled as he ran to hug the Native American woman. "What are you doing here?"

"Roy called me from headquarters." Marie Gage replied. "He told me that you and a Captain got into it. I thought you might need to talk."

"Mom, I'm not sure I wanna be a Paramedic after what happened today." Johnny said, then proceeded to tell her what had happened."

"He called you a stupid clown?!" Marie gasped when her firstborn finished.

Johnny nodded, on the verge of tears.

"I can't help but think he's right, Mama." Johnny told her softly. "I keep thinking I should've waited for the engine."

"John, I do not know the in and outs of your job, so it is not my place to choose sides, nor should your friends be caught in this web either." Marie told her Son. "This is a battle you must fight on your own."

"You're right, Mom." Johnny agreed. "What I did today was not heroic, it was stupid. I only have me to live for, but others here have wives and kids that need them. I wonder how Joanne DeSoto would take it if Roy were killed or badly hurt cause he had to come look for me? How could I face their kids if I got their daddy killed?"

"True, it is not only the firemen himself that is affected by his actions, but the friends and family around him as well." Marie agreed.

Johnny began to pace back and forth at this time.

"When Evans was yelling at me at HQ, I wanted to scream at him that he wasn't there, so he had no right to judge my actions. I wanted to tell him to shut his mouth. Then again, he has faced similar situations in his own career no doubt."

"Son, tell me the truth. Let's say that you were the Captain. If you'd seen Evans react as you did at the fire, what would you have done?" Marie inquired.

"Mom, I don't know cause I'm not a Captain. At the same time, Evans doesn't work with Paramedics all the time either. Maybe that's what went wrong, a lack of understanding on both our parts. Even if the engine had been there, there are things we can't foresee at any rescue. Even if we'd had all our trucks there, things still might have gone wrong."

After a few minutes of silence, Johnny resumed his chair.

"I guess if there's a lesson to be learned in all this, it's to think before you act." Johnny realized. "If I could do that fire over, there are several aspects I would handle differently."

"Like what, Gage?" Captain Evens asked.

Before Johnny could answer, the tones went off.

Squad 51, maternity case at the school. 7522 West Abigail Terr. 7522 West Abigail Terr. Crosstreet: 1st. Timeout: 12:55.

"Squad 51, KMG-365." Roy was heard to answer as Johnny kissed his mother and ran to join him.

Evans started to head back toward the office, but Marie stopped him.

"Captain, may I speak to you please?" She requested.

"Of course, Mrs. Gage." Captain Evans replied, sitting down across from her.

"I want you to know that I don't defend what you say Johnny did at the fire cause I wasn't there, but the one thing I cannot tolerate is a fellow fireman calling my Son a stupid clown, even a Captain." Marie stated. "My Johnny is far from stupid, Captain Evans, nor is he a clown. If anything, my Son does get a little too involved in rescues, but it is because he cares about the
people he shares this world with. My eldest has always been that way."

"I had no idea Johnny was you eldest boy." Evans replied. "Maybe I did lean a little hard on him. Mrs. Gage, I mean no disrespect to you or to him. I just wanna be sure that he's not taking unnecessary risks."

"As do I." Marie agreed. "I do worry about that Son of mine alot. He does risk his life everytime he gets called out. That scares me."

"Our job is risky." Evans admitted. "Mrs. Gage, maybe Johnny was right this time. If he'd waited for my guys and I to get there, we might've gotten there in time to save that woman or we might have arrived to her dead body, broken on the pavement. Trouble is, there's just no way to know. I just don't like the fact that he just left his partner and went in to get her."

Marie nodded.

"When Johnny was nine years old, I sent him to the store one time to pick up a loaf of bread. I'd even told him what route he should take." Marie told the Captain. "We didn't live that far from the store. Anyway, I told him to be back in twenty minutes. Twenty minutes went by, then thirty, then an hour with no Johnny. When he still hadn't returned after two hours, I called the
sheriff and reported him missing. Just as the sheriff arrived, Johnny showed up. I was so angry with him that I dragged him out to our barn and beat him within an inch of his life."

"I have kids myself and I would've done the same in your shoes." Evans soothed.

"After it was done, Johnny just looked at me with those eyes." Marie recalled. "Then he just ran into the house. I'd never so much as yelled at that boy before that day. Johnny wouldn't even so much as look at me for days afterward."

"Where was his father?" Jake asked.

"His father and I had split two years before." Marie replied. "I was both Mom and Dad to three boys. Anyway, about two weeks later, Johnny and I were in town at the market. We were going about our business when a man walked up to Johnny and thanked him for saving his life!"...........

FIFTEEN YEARS EARLIER..............THE GAGE RANCH........BROKEN ARROW,
MONTANA............

As soon as she was though putting the groceries away in the kitchen and had settled Johnny's twin brothers in their crib for their nap, Marie Gage went in search of Johnny.

"Johnny?" His mother called. "Where are ya, Son?"

Getting no answer in the house, She went outside to the barn where she encountered Charlie McNab and Joe spear, her long time ranch hands.

"Have either of you seen Johnny?" She asked of them.

"No, Marie, we haven't." 6'2 and Silver Haired Joe answered. "He was supposed to have gone riding with me, but he never showed. He still not talkin?"

"Fraid not." Marie sighed. "As soon as we got back from the market, I turned around and he was gone again."

"Marie, just let the boy be." Brown haired Charlie advised. "When he's ready to, he'll talk again."

Just then, a noise was heard from the hay loft above. Marie entered the barn and climbed the ladder up there.

"John Roderick?" She called.

The boy was sitting in a corner of the loft, eating an apple.

"Johnny, have you been up here since we got home?" Marie asked.

The dark-haired boy nodded without looking up.

"Please, look at me when I'm talking to you." Marie requested.

"Why? So you can hurt me again?" Johnny asked.

Marie gasped at her Son's angry words.

"Johnny, why are you being so secretive?" Marie asked the boy. "Honey, Why won't you talk to me?"

"I saw what your idea of talk was two weeks ago!" The nine year old sneered. "I also felt it!"

With that, Johnny finished his snack, then went to climb down from the loft. Marie tried to grab her boy, but he jerked away. She could only watch as the boy climbed down, then left the barn.

PRESENT TIME..........STATION 51...........

"After that, we didn't speak at all." Marie finished. "Johnny is so much like my Ex-husband. He keeps everything inside and even today, he doesn't share that much of his life with me."

"He doesn't share much with us either." Marco Lopez spoke up. "Even Roy has never been to his place. Roy DeSoto, his partner on the squad.

"I guess for Johnny, closeness is scary." Marie mused. "If I'd only listened that day instead of becoming angry."

"I don't think it would've made any difference." Evans consoled her. "Johnny seems to me as if he doesn't want anyone to know him. He lives for his privacy."

"Mrs. Gage, I think John loves as much as he is able to and shares as much as his comfort level will allow." Engineer Mike Stoker spoke up as he served a lunch of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. "Would you like to have lunch with us?"

"I'd love to." Marie smiled. "That looks great, Mr-"

"Stoker, Mike Stoker." Mike smiled back.

"Marco Lopez." Marco introduced himself. "And this is Chester Kelly."

"Nice to meet you all." Marie said. "Where's Captain Stanley? Johnny's had alot of good things to say about him."

"He's taking some time off to see to a personal matter." Captain Evans answered, not wanting to let on that Hank was in fact trying to overcome his fear of Chiefs though counseling.

"When he comes over to visit, Johnny always talks of you guys, but never of himself." Marie told all gathered as the squad was heard backing into the bay.

Johnny came in and sat down at the table. He smiled as he filled his plate, then started to eat.

"Johnny?" Marie said after a minute. "Aren't you at least gonna say hello?"

"Hi," Johnny greeted, then went back to eating. "Captain, I have something I wanna say to you."

"What's that, Gage?" Evans replied.

Roy came in at this time. He was shaking his head as Johnny looked the Captain in the eyes. Roy feared that Johnny would tell Evans where to stick his orders.

*

"Captain, I'm sure that my mother has told you about the day she spanked me when I was nine years old. I was telling DeSoto the same story. The part that nobody has heard is my side of what happened that day. I don't think anyone has ever cared about my point of view or my side of an event. So, I won't bother telling my side of what happened at that fire. None of you care about it anyway, just like my mom here beat me senseless all those years ago
without asking me what happened. You're the Captain, I'm just a stupid clown of a Paramedic. You win." Johnny gave in. "Excuse me, I just lost my appetite."

Johnny left the table and disappeared out back. Marie blanched as she realized the depth of her Son's distrust of anyone in authority.

"It all started with me." She said, quietly. "If only I hadn't lost control that day."

"Marie, may I call you Marie?" Roy asked.

She nodded.

"Marie, you aren't the only parent that has lost control when it comes to their kids." Roy said. "I've come close with my own two more times than I can count. Johnny was at that age where kids start to test boundaries. My kids are at that age now. Sometimes, I get to the point where I wanna do what you did all those years ago."

"What stops you?" Marie asked.

"Joanne, my wife." Roy replied. "She reminds me that there are better solutions than spanking."

"Trouble is, I'm not sure that Johnny will talk to me. He hasn't since that awful day." Marie worried.

"You don't know til you try." Evans encouraged her.

Marie gathered up all her courage and made her way out back, where her Son was sitting on the back stoop. Johnny looked over at her as she took a seat at his side. She sat quietly, waiting for Johnny to speak first.

"I suppose you want to know what that scene in the kitchen was about." Johnny said, after a minute.

"For starters." Marie answered. "Johnny, you seem to have a major chip on your shoulder and I'd like to know why."

"Why do you care? Huh? Tell me that. Why do you care?" Johnny asked of her.

"John Roderick Gage, how can you ask me that?!" Marie demanded. "I love you! I spanked you that day because I loved you! When you didn't return home on time that day, I was scared out of my mind! How did I know you weren't laying dead in a ditch somewhere?! See it through my eyes before you judge my actions!"

Johnny started to turn away, but Marie had him by the chin.

"No, you look at me!" Marie insisted. "Look in my eyes! Why won't you let anyone in! Roy, your best friend, said he really doesn't know you either!"

"Mom, you can't understand!" Johnny yelled, then started to cry.

"Tell me, what can't I understand?" Marie pushed further. "Help me, Johnny. Help me to know you."

Before Johnny could answer, the tones sounded.

Squad 51, child sick at the school. 55321 Jax Place. 55321 Jax Place. Crosstreet: Weeks. Timeout: 13:40.

"Squad 51, KMG-365." Captain Evans responded as Johnny ran in and joined Roy in the squad.

"Marie, why don't you ride with them?" Evans suggested.

Johnny got out and let his mother slide in next to Roy, then got back in the squad.

Marie just looked through the windshield as they left the station, lights and sirens full blast. She hoped that maybe she'd get a glimpse of her son's life as did Cap Evans.

*

As they raced toward the scene, Marie glanced over at Johnny. She saw no expression on his face and no emotion in his eyes.

I guess in this job, emotions must be buried. Marie thought.

Roy reached over and squeezed her hand as he drove. Arriving on the scene ten minutes later, a teacher was waiting to meet them.

"We have a bunch of kids sick now." She advised.

"Carbon monoxide." Roy suspected.

"LA, squad 51, we have a possible carbon monoxide leak at this location. Respond a first alarm assignment and several ambulances." Johnny requested.

10-4, squad 51. LA came back.

Marie listened as multiple tones sounded over the radio and more units were dispatched.

"Overdoing it a bit, aren't you?" Marie wondered.

"Better to be safe than have an explosion and have no help." Johnny replied.

"I wish you'd realized that earlier." Roy remarked, pointedly.

"Just what is that supposed to mean?!" Johnny demanded.

"You know perfectly well what I mean!" Roy shot back.

"STOP IT!!! BOTH OF YOU!!" Marie yelled. "What is this?! Is this the way you always treat each other?! There are lives in there on the line! This job is about helping save those lives, not about Roy DeSoto being the big boss man or John Gage feeding his overblown ego! Johnny, you yourself said that what you did at that fire was dangerous! Let me tell ya something, buster! What you did was downright irresponsible! You could've cost those people in that building their lives and maybe your fellow firemen too! Tell me, John Roderick, do you think the families left behind would see you as a hero?! Tell me that!"

At this time, more engines and other apparatus arrived on scene. The Captains started directing their crews to their tasks as Roy and Johnny watched, suddenly ashamed of their recent behavior. Captain Evans made his way over to the squad.

"Gage, DeSoto, we can handle this-" Evans began, only too be cut off by three beeps over the radio.

Squad 51, what is your status? Dispatch asked.

"Squad 51, available." Johnny responded.

Squad 51, respond with engine 86, trash fire. 114 Rennie St. 114 Rennie St. Crosstreet: 77th. Timeout: 13:55.

"Squad 51, 10-4." Johnny acknowledged as Roy again activated the code R response and they sped away.

As they sped toward the scene, the words that his mother had said rang in Johnny's ears. As he heard them again and again, Johnny realized that she was right.

Arriving on scene five minutes after getting the call, Engine 86's Captain came to meet them.

"I want you two to pull an inch and a half." The Captain directed.

"Right, Cap." Johnny nodded. "Squad 51 at scene."

Squad 51. Time:14:01. Dispatch returned over the radio.

Johnny hung up the mic, then exited the squad with Roy. Both men then donned their turnout coats and gloves.

"No unnecessary chances, John Roderick." Marie reminded her Son.

Johnny nodded as he went to join Roy and 86's crew in fighting this large trash fire.

"You're Gage's mother?" The Captain asked Marie.

"Yes, Sir." Marie nodded.

"Your Son is one of the best firemen I've ever worked with." The Cap smiled.

"I wish Captain Evans thought so." Marie sighed.

"Oh, yes, the fire this morning." The Cap nodded. "I have to agree with Evans. What John did was dangerous."

"But. the victim got out alive!" Argued 86's Engineer as he operated the pumps.

"But was there a safer way?" The Captain asked.

"I think there was." Roy answered. "Fire's under control, Cap."

"Okay, DeSoto, you and Gage help with the overhaul." The Captain ordered.

"Right." Roy nodded. "Cap, I know the lady got out alive because of Gage. I just think that she would've made it if Johnny had waited for backup."

Johnny, meanwhile, was sifting through the charred trash and debris with a rake, looking for any hotspots they might've missed. As he worked alongside a fireman from 86's, the conversation between Roy and the Captain drifted in his direction. As he listened, the other fireman turned to him.

"Hey, I heard about that stunt you pulled this morning!" The man sneered. "What the hell were you thinking?! You just charged into a fully involved building with no plan and no backup!"

"Look, I've taken enough flack from alot of people over that damn building fire! I don't need it from you too!" Johnny growled, throwing down his rake and storming off to the other side of the dump.

"Uh oh." Roy muttered as Johnny trudged off.

"Let him be, Roy." Marie advised.

On the other side of the dump, Johnny met up with an old friend.

"Hey, Cyrus." Johnny greeted a man in his sixties as he wheeled over in a wheelchair. "Long time, no see."

"Hello, Johnny." Cyrus McCormick, an Ex-fireman greeted. "You seem upset."

"I am." Johnny admitted, then told his old friend about the events of the day.

"I see." The older man nodded. "Johnny, do you know how I wound up in this chair?"

Johnny shook his head.

"I was twenty years old and had just graduated from the fire academy. I was assigned to engine 73 at station 73 in Westwood. This was my very first run We were toned to a motel fire with a bunch of apparatus." Cyrus recalled. "Anyway, I was off the engine and in my gear before anyone else. This was in the days before the gear and training you have now."

"Go on." Johnny encouraged.

"Like you, I was young and thought nothing could happen to me." Cyrus continued. "As I ran into that building, all I could hear were the screams and cries for help. I never once thought of the danger I myself was in. Anyway, I got to a victim and was carrying her out. We were going down a flight of stairs when a ceiling beam collapsed. She was killed instantly and I was paralyzed when that beam hit us. My spinal cord was severed."

Johnny stood there as what Cyrus said sunk in.

"Before you start thinking that your colleagues are wrong, just look at where I am because of my stupidity all those years ago." Cyrus concluded.

*

As the overhaul was completed and the squad was released by the Captain, Roy saw a dramatic change in John, as did Marie.

"Squad 51, available." Johnny reported into the two way radio as the squad pulled away from the scene.

Squad 51. LA came back.

After hanging up the mic, Johnny just sat, facing his window, lost in thought.

"Johnny? Who was that man you were with back there?" Roy asked

"His name's Cyrus McCormick." Johnny answered, somewhat distractedly. "He was one of the instructors when I was going through the academy."

"I see." Roy nodded. "You okay?"

"Not really." Johnny replied. "Roy, he really knocked me down a peg. He made me realize how foolish I've been acting lately. I let my ego get in the way of my judgment. I admit that I was wrong to charge into that fire this morning. I should've at least waited til we were sure help was on the way and you were with me before going in. I was stupid and I'm sorry."

"You weren't the only one." Roy softly replied. "Marie here was right when she said I try to act like the big boss at times. If I came on like that, it was only cause I care about you. as I'm sure she does too."

"Johnny, I've loved you since the day you were born. Honey, when you were growing up and I said no to you doing something, do you remember how mad you used to get?" Marie asked him.

"Yeah." Johnny replied. "I would just stomp of to my room or out to the corral." Johnny remembered. "When I was real small, I'd throw some serious tantrums."

"You kicked quite a few holes in walls and busted a few doors in those days." Marie remembered.

"My kids went through that stage too." Roy remembered. "All kids do."

"I guess I still haven't grown out of that." Johnny realized as Roy backed the squad into 51's apparatus bay. "I'm still throwing tantrums, just in a different way. Squad 51 in quarters."

Squad 51. Time:14:30. LA returned.

As Johnny exited the squad, Captain Evans came in from the office

"Gage, I'd like to talk to you." The Captain with gray hair and brown eyes said.

"I'm all ears." Johnny replied as Roy and Marie went into the kitchen.

"I hear you're thinking of quitting the Paramedics." Evans began.

"Yes, Sir, I am." Johnny replied.

"Is it that fire this morning?" The Captain wondered. "Or was it me?"

"It was me." Johnny answered. "I really began to wonder if I was as stupid and irresponsible as you thought."

"How old are you, John?" Evans inquired.

"Twenty-two." Johnny answered.

"Been in the department four years according to your package." Evans said. "What did you do before joining the Paramedics?"

"I was a rescue man on squad 8." Johnny answered.

"And before that?" Evans asked the young man.

"Station 110, B-shift." Johnny answered.

"John, your package said you were number one in your Paramedic class. Your Evaluations from both Stanley and Brackett are excellent. So, why do you wanna give up something you obviously excel at? What are you afraid of?"

"Cap, just because one is good at something does not mean that they should necessarily do it." Johnny answered. "My Mom said that my ego was a bit overblown. She's right."

"Johnny, she is right to a certain extent, but I was the same way when I was your age. Saving a life is a boost to the ego. Every fireman's ego swells when a victim thanks them or the victim's family thanks them. The trick is not to let your ego get so swelled that you think that you can save anyone and everyone. You aren't Superman, you're only a Paramedic, one man. Nobody is this job is invincible."

"I know. An old friend woke me up to that fact earlier." Johnny replied. "You may know him. Cyrus McCormick."

"Cy? You bet I do!" Cap Evans smiled. "When I was an Engineer, we worked together at 13's! How is the old dog anyway?"

"He's doing just fine." Johnny grinned. "He was one of my instructors at the academy."

"Oh, I'm sure he taught you well, Son." Evans grinned as Roy came into the bay.

"I think you guys should come see the news on TV." He said.

"What is it, Roy?" Johnny asked, quietly, seeing his partner's worried expression.

"Engine 16 was dispatched to a motel fire. A rookie firemen ran into the building before the Captain could give one order. He then sent his Paramedics in after the rookie. Shortly after, there was a collapse." Roy replied.

"And now, all three are missing." Johnny guessed. "Dammit!"

A minute later, the tones sounded.

Squad 51, possible drowning. 843 Allen Ave. 843 Allen Ave. Crosstreet: 39th. Timeout: 14:55.

"Squad 51, KMG-365." Captain Evans acknowledged as Johnny, Roy and Marie quickly got in the squad and left the station, code R.

As they rode toward the scene, Johnny and Roy's thoughts were with the missing men from station 16. It hit home for Johnny that two men could die because of the actions of one careless fireman and how easily it could've been him that was missing as well as whoever was sent in after him.

As they arrived on scene, Roy turned to John.

"Squad 51, at scene." Johnny reported.

Squad 51. Sam Lanier returned. Time: 15:01.

A dark haired lady came running up to the squad, carrying a little boy in her arms.

"Frankie was playing outside! I went in for a minute and when I came back out, he was face down in the pool!" The women cried as Johnny got out of the squad and took the unconscious boy from her and laid him on the grass nearby.

He then checked to see if the of about three was breathing and had a pulse.

"Roy, he's got a strong pulse, but he's not breathing!" Johnny hollered to his partner.

"I'll get the equipment!" Roy called back as Johnny started mouth to mouth on the boy.

Roy quickly got the biophone from the squad, along with the drug box and oxygen tank. Joining Johnny, Roy quickly sat up the biophone.

"Rampart, this is squad 51. How do you read me?" Roy called into the biophone's receiver.

Squad 51, this is Rampart. We read you loud and clear. Came the disembodied voice of Dr. Joe Early over the Biophone's speakers.

"How old is your Son?" Roy asked the woman.

"Three, he's three!" The boy's mother wept.

"Rampart, we have a male, three years old. He was found in a backyard pool by his mother approximately five minutes ago face down." Roy reported. "Patient has a strong pulse, but no respirations."

"Roy! He's seizing!" Johnny yelled.

"Rampart, the victim is seizing." Roy reported into the biophone.

Dr. Early proceeded to give instructions on what drugs to give and ordered an IV started and an airway inserted.

"10-4, Rampart." Roy acknowledged, then went to assist his partner.

Ten minutes later, the child was on the way to the hospital, Johnny at his side and his mother riding in the cab of the ambulance. As it pulled away, Roy got on the biophone one more time.

"Rampart, this is squad 51. Patient is en route to your facility. ETA, ten minutes." Roy reported.

10-4, squad 51. Early responded.

"10-4." Roy replied, then hung up and packed up the biophone as well as the rest of the equipment and the remains of what was used on the child.

As soon as it was put back in the squad, Roy and Marie got in and started the trip to Rampart.

"LA, squad 51, 10-8 to Rampart for follow up." Roy reported to dispatch.

Squad 51. Time: 15:30. LA returned.

Roy hung up the mic. He then turned to Marie.

"I hope that little boy makes it." Roy said, worriedly.

"So do I, Roy." Marie replied. "For Johnny's sake, so do I."

*

Roy and Marie arrived at the hospital a short while later. They met Johnny after he emerged from treatment room two.

"The kid started breathing on the way here. Brackett says he's gonna be okay." Johnny said.

"What else.?" Roy asked, seeing the shocked look on Johnny's face.

"Those three men from 16's, they were brought in a little ago." Johnny informed his Mom and his partner. The rookie didn't have a damn scratch on him."

"And the Paramedics?" Marie prompted.

"By the time they got in there, the rookie was already out. There was another collapse." Johnny told her, on the verge of tears. "The Paramedics didn't make it out."

Both Roy and Marie stood in shock at this news.

"When?" Roy asked after a minute.

"Early told me a few minutes ago." Johnny answered, his voice tight with emotion.

"And the other fireman?" Roy asked.

"Brackett's keeping him for observation." Johnny answered. "Excuse me."

Roy and Marie watched as Johnny walked off down the hall and into the breakroom.

"Roy, you stay here." Marie requested.

Roy nodded. Marie then made her way into the breakroom. Upon arrival there, she saw her Son, sitting in a chair, his back to her.

"Johnny?" She softly called.

Johnny turned and faced her, tears streaming down his cheeks. She went to her boy and drew him into her arms. Johnny lost it completely, collapsing in sobs as she held him.

*

Outside, Roy DeSoto walked up to the nurse's desk.

"What room is the injured fireman in?" Roy asked of the nurse behind the counter.

"Room 301." The Nurse replied.

"Thank you." Roy smiled. then headed down there.

Upon arrival, Roy encountered a young man of about 19, with red hair and a freckled face.

"Who are you?" The man asked, putting down the magazine he'd been reading.

"Roy DeSoto, squad 51." Roy introduced himself.

"Tommy Morgan, Engine 16." Tommy replied.

"Wheels and Gears." Roy read from the magazine cover on the rolling table. "That's my partner's favorite magazine."

"Yeah?" Tommy asked.

Roy nodded as he shut the door. He then slammed the magazine back down.

"Amazing. Amazing how you can just sit and read when two firemen are dead on the count of you!" Roy hissed.

"DeSoto,-" Tommy stammered.

"Two men are dead because you had to prove something!" Roy yelled, grabbing the young man by the hospital gown he wore. "Two men, Kevin Greene and Phil Reed are dead, Tommy! Phil was married with two young kids! Greene had just gotten engaged to a girl from his hometown! He was looking forward to getting married in June! He was looking forward to having a wife and kids!"

Tommy gasped as Roy got right in his face.

"What do you want from me?" Tommy wept. "I didn't mean for them to die! How was I supposed to know the building would collapse?"

"Roy." Dixie McCall spoke up. "Let him go."

"Dix-" Roy protested.

"C'mon, let's go get a cup of coffee." Dix suggested.

Roy reluctantly followed her from the room. Once there were in the privacy of Dixie's office, Dixie looked at her good friend.

"What were you hoping to accomplish back there?" The nurse asked.

"I just wanted him to know." Roy answered. "I wanted that man to know about the men that died, trying to save him from himself."

"He knows." Dix assured Roy. "He'll have to live with those deaths as we all will. Punishing the young man down the hall isn't gonna bring back Reed and Greene. Tommy's the one that's gonna have the roughest time with all this. He didn't mean for them to die."

"I know. That's what makes it harder to accept. Those two men, good firemen and Paramedics, died and it all could've been avoided." Roy said, tears filling his vision. "It just seems like such a waste."

"It doesn't have to be." Dix offered.

"What do you mean?" Roy sniffed.

"If these deaths can teach the Johnny Gages and all other current and future members of the LA County fire department a lesson, then Reed and Greene haven't died for nothing." Dix said, putting a comforting arm around Roy.

end part 12: Criticized