Copyright: June 2001 By Robin R. Neher

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANY PREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS THAT MAY BE VIOLATED. FEEL FREE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS, BUT NOT FOR PROFIT.

THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSON AND/OR PERSON'S ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: Fireman Fathers

Author: Robin R. Neher

E-mail: NRobin1027@aol.com

Rating: SLASH

Pairing: Roy/Johnny

Fandom: Emergency!

Archive: Yes

Summary: Captains Gage and DeSoto celebrate Father's Day in their own way.

Content Warning: Some harsh Language. Graphic M/M sex. HANKY ALERT!!

Fireman Fathers
by Robin R. Neher

PROLOGUE...........

It is five years after "Greatest rescues of Emergency!" Captains Roy DeSoto and John Gage live together on the outskirts of LA. Roy has been divorced from Joanne for three years with her and his kids living with her new boyfriend in New York. Roy only gets contact with his Son and daughter through infrequent letters.

John Gage is still single but has a son, Roderick John Gage, age 10 months, the result of Johnny's brief affair with a nurse at Rampart. Johnny did not know he had a son until his mom's death in a car accident when Roderick was 8 months old.

Johnny and Roy have recently won a legal battle with child welfare to keep Roderick after they learned of John and Roy's marriage and life as gay lovers. Johnny has adapted well and is a doting dad to the baby. Roy too is smiling again with the baby around. Roy sees himself as an Uncle to young Roderick or "Roddy" as Johnny calls his son.

As our story begins, it is Father's Day and the boys have planned a day just for the two of them.

NOW, OUR STORY............

Johnny Gage cried as he held his baby Son. Dixie McCall was due to pick up his Roddy any minute.

"John, Sweetheart, it's just til tomorrow." Roy soothed. "Roddy will be in loving hands with Dix baby-sitting."

"I know." Johnny sobbed.

"It's just that you've never trusted Junior to anybody else." Roy understood. "Jo was the same way after she had Chris, then Suzy. It's hard, I know."

"It's just that I've always taken my boy everywhere with me, even to the station." Johnny cried.

"Johnny, we need this day." Roy reminded him. "Even Ward Cleaver needed time without Wally and the Beav now and then. Every parent needs time for them. That was where Joanne and I went wrong. We were so busy giving to the kids, there was no us time."

"But I thought your kids were supposed to come first." Johnny sniffed.

"They are, Hon, but we still need our relationship too." Roy explained. "It's not wrong to pack a kid off to a sitter now and then and have time for you and me. You can't very well meet the needs of a child if you don't take care of you too. Johnny, Roderick will be fine. He loves his Auntie Dixie and I'll just bet she has a fun day in store for him."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the front door.

"Honey, why don't you let me take Roddy to Dix?" Roy suggested.

"No, I'll do it." Johnny sniffed, pulling himself together. "I gotta face this cause as my boy gets older, he and I will both have to get used to being apart for short periods as he starts school, goes to camp, etc."

With that, Johnny sat his jaw and gathered his son's things for the baby's overnight stay with Dixie, then opened the front door.

"Ah, I see your little angel is ready." Dix smiled as Johnny handed his son over, the diaper bag. "Johnny, I know how hard this is for you. I can see the pain behind the smile. Rest assured that Roderick is in great hands. I don't mind if you call to check on him."

Johnny watched as Dix then carried his Son to her station wagon

"Wave bye bye to daddy, Roderick." Dixie cooed as she held the baby's tiny hand and waved it. "Bye bye, Daddy. Bye Bye, Uncle Roy."

Back inside the house, Johnny wept as Dixie placed Roderick in his car seat. Johnny cried even harder as Dix pulled out of the driveway as he watched through the window. Roy went over to where Johnny was and placing his hands on his lover's back, gently guided John away from the window.

"It's okay, Sweetie." Roy soothed. "Roddy and Dix will be fine."

"Roy, he was crying as Dix drove him away!" Johnny sobbed. "I never thought being a dad could be so fucking hard!"

***
"Oh look at me! I'm acting like a damn neurotic mother hen!" Johnny sniffed. "I'm acting like my boy is gone forever!"

"I do understand, John." Roy insisted. "I'm a father too, remember?"

"Roy, how do you do it?" Johnny asked as Roy guided him upstairs to their room. "How do you get through each and everyday without missing your kids?"

"I don't." Roy dead panned. "The secret is to keep yourself busy so you don't drive yourself crazy missing them. If you dwell on your feelings, you stop functioning. You stop living."

"Today must be especially hard for you." Johnny mused.

"It was at first, so were the other holidays. Then, I learned how to focus the energy I was wasting missing them and wishing I could be with them on us, you and me. You're here. they're not. Besides, I get them for two weeks in August and on alternating holidays. I can look forward to that time."

"Two months ago, it was just me and me alone. I never had to think of anything but you and I. Then, along came Roddy and my whole life changed." Johnny stated. "Now that I have him to care for, it makes being a Captain and giving up my Paramedic certification all worth it. All the sudden, being a Paramedic is not so important to me now."

"Funny how priorities change when a kid enters the picture." Roy smiled. "Johnny, you have really matured and mellowed out since Roddy entered your life. When he first came to live with us, I wasn't sure you could handle fatherhood."

"I wasn't either!" Johnny laughed. "Remember how clumsy I was with him at first? The diaper changes alone were a comedy of errors."

"Poor Roddy." Roy chuckled. "Even giving him a bath was enough to send you over the edge. You panicked if that boy made so much as a peep. You'd dump his bottle down the sink if his formula was too hot."

"No kidding, but what did I know about babies then? How did I know what the right temperature should be for formula or for a baby's bath? I didn't even know the kid had to be burped every so often while being fed."

"You caught on quickly, though." Roy smiled. "Now, Lover, I intend to make your first Father's Day as a Daddy special."

"Just what do you have in mind?" Johnny asked as Roy nuzzled his neck.

"Well, Junior, since today is very special not just because it's father's day, but because we first fell in love on this day three years ago, we're gonna relive our first date." Roy replied, between love nips on Johnny's neck.

"You mean that night at the beach where we made love with the waves crashing around us?" John smiled. "That was a beautiful night for us."

"It sure was." Roy smiled. "I remember how scared you were that first time."

"Well, I'd never been with another man before. I'd certainly never thought of you like that." John chuckled at the memory. "Up til that night, you were my best friend, no more. When I arrived at that beach and you were standing there in that tux, I have to admit, you took me by suprise."

"I know, how you resisted when I tried to take you in my arms for the first time." Roy remembered. "You shook as I held you."

"Roy, I said no to you at first, remember?" John reminded him.

***

Three years earlier.........Saturday, March 16th, 1980

John Gage shook as Roy DeSoto approached him, dressed in a black tux, The roar of the waves in the background.

"Roy, what the hell is this?" Johnny asked, instantly on the defensive. "Why did you ask me here?!"

"Johnny, please, listen." Roy quietly replied. "Johnny, it's been six months since Jo and I divorced. I'm ready to start dating again."

"What does this have to do with me?" Johnny asked. "If you want advice, write to Dear Abby."

"Johnny, I want you." Roy said. "I love you, John."

"Roy, this is sick!" Johnny hissed. "I'm straight!"

"Johnny, hear me out!" Roy pleaded. "This didn't just hit me out of the blue-"

"Roy, no!" Johnny cut him off. "You are my friend, no more, no less! Look, you've just gone through a divorce. You are emotionally fragile right now and reaching out for love anywhere you can get it. I can't love you under these circumstances. Give yourself time to sort out your real feelings and to heal from the divorce before you jump into a new relationship, with me or anyone else."

"Johnny, I'm sorry." Roy apologized.

"That's okay, Pally." Johnny answered. "Look, if you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on. I'm here."

"Johnny, I made a complete ass of myself." Roy sobbed. "What's wrong with me?! What did I do to make Joanne leave me?!"

******

PRESENT TIME 1983.......

"Looking back, you were right." Roy smiled. "I hadn't dealt with my feelings about the divorce and I guess I was in heavy denial. I was walking around thinking that Jo would come back to me like all the other times before. Even when I saw her in the restaurant, kissing her new love, I thought it was just a fling and that soon, she would dump him and come back to me."

"Roy, denial is a normal reaction." Johnny replied. "Nobody wants to admit to themselves that a relationship is ending, especially a marriage. To admit that would mean having to accept that Joanne no longer loved you."

"And to accept that would mean having to deal with the pain that came with it." Roy added. "You know, I think I finally could accept that Jo and I were over when she and her new beau moved to New York with the kids a few months after I tried that stunt at the beach."

"I remember how you cried the day they left. You cried in my arms for two days straight." Johnny remembered.

"But you were there when I needed you. That's what a good friend is." Roy reminded his lover. "My men were afraid to be near me while all that was happening."

"You were in a state then." Johnny agreed. "Not only that, most of your crew at 41's are not married and were afraid they'd say something wrong. Frankly, I was too. I've never been married. Who was I to advise you?"

"You don't have to be married to understand the loss of a relationship." Roy replied. "But through all that pain, I gained you to love. Now, look at us. We have each other."

"And our Son." Johnny smiled.

"Our Son?" Roy asked.

"Roy, Roddy is by blood my Son, but you and I are raising him together, so to me. you're his daddy too." Johnny smiled. "There are no rules that say a family has to look a certain way."

"Johnny, is this leading somewhere?" Roy asked, hopefully.

"Roy, I think it's time we made our union a legal one in the eyes of the sate of California." Johnny smiled. "In our eyes, we are married, so why not make the marriage official to everyone else too?"

"Are you proposing to me, John?" Roy gasped, happy tears forming in his eyes.

"Yes, Roy. Will you marry me?" Johnny asked.

"God, yes!" Roy cried, happily.

Johnny held Roy as he too wept, his heart bursting with joy. A second later, Johnny lovingly removed Roy's robe. Tossing it to the floor, Johnny began slow exploration of his lover's body, first with his hands, then with his tongue. Roy moaned as Johnny then took him over to the bed and laid him down.

Roy smiled as John then removed his own robe, then eased himself on top of him. Roy squirmed at the feel of John's fiery tongue on his skin.

"John, when we're married, I don't want you to ever feel you're playing the wife's role." Roy whispered, his breath coming in gasps. "I want you to be your own man, just like you always have been. I would never want you to give up your independence for me."

"Go on." Johnny prompted around Roy's nipple.

"I can't help but think that's why I lost Joanne." Roy talked on. "When we got married, I literally chained her to the stove. I wanted the stay at home wife, like my Mom was. I took away the real Joanne. She never had a life of her own as long as I was around. To me, she was only supposed to be Mrs. Roy DeSoto."

"Roy, let me tell you something." Johnny replied. "I would never let myself be treated that way by you or anyone else. If you even attempted to treat me like that, I'd be out the door so fast, your head would spin. Marriage is an equal partnership and that's what I want ours to be. We were both raised with our mothers at home, but times have changed."

"I know that now. I treated Jo horribly when we were married. My kids too." Roy realized as Johnny went back to loving him with his tongue. "I expected everyone to live up to my expectations. I wanted my kids to be geniuses. Nothing but an A+ was acceptable to me on my kid's grade cards. They were grounded if they brought home a B or below on any subject."

"Tough on them, weren't you?" Johnny asked.

"I guess I was trying to live through them." Roy answered.

"Why?" John wondered.

"I'll tell ya later." Roy snickered. "Right now-"

Roy then claimed Johnny's mouth with his. He devoured the younger man's lips like they were candy.

"Your lips are so soft, so sweet." Roy whispered as he kissed John's lower lip, tenderly. "You taste wonderful."

Johnny smiled as Roy then again covered both his lips in a kiss. Roy was determined that all the lovemaking on this day would be tender and that Johnny would do nothing but enjoy and be receptive to him.

It did not take Johnny long to yield to Roy's demanding kiss. Roy's mouth then left Johnny's and worked it's way over the handsome face.

"Honey, today is yours. I'm just for you." Roy whispered in Johnny's ear. "Just tell me your slightest wish and I will serve."

Johnny stroked Roy's back as he held him close, rocking him.

"Roy, talk to me some more." Johnny requested. "Tell me more about you and Joanne."

"Honey, Jo and I were so in love when we married. I'll be the first to admit that I'm the one that ruined our marriage. I thought Joanne would love me, no matter what." Roy told his lover. "I left Joanne to do all the work to keep us together. I was too selfish then to realize that it took two to make love work."

"A person alone cannot keep love alive." John agreed. "Neither can a person who rushes into a relationship. I've done that so much with women. Hell, I almost got married twice! Remember Barbara and Valerie?"

"Johnny, that was just youthful miscalculation." Roy smiled. "Any relationship has to be built, not forced or rushed. Look at us, we've known each other a long time."

"So did you and Joanne. Roy, how do we know we won't be like that in five years?" Johnny worried. "That's one thing that scares me about marriage."

"You can't let that fear dominate your every waking moment." Roy soothed. "That fear leaves alot of folks old and alone."

"I read in the paper yesterday that half of all new marriages end in divorce within one year." Johnny told Roy.

"It is true, but we won't be one of those. Life has no guarantees, neither do I, but I know we're meant to be." Roy replied. "We can't worry about things that are out of our hands. Life is about
risk and you are a risk that I'm willing to accept."

Before Johnny could say anymore, Roy kissed him. Johnny gave in to Roy, his fears sliding from his mind. His body lurched and quaked under Roy's touch as his penis became rigid. Johnny yielded to Roy's tongue as it claimed his mouth.

As Roy loved his Johnny, he understood why he was reluctant to marry. He couldn't help but wonder if Johnny had proposed just to make him happy.

Maybe Johnny thought that was what I wanted to hear. Roy thought. I certainly don't want to pressure Johnny. It does seem that the word marriage scares the hell out of him!

Roy decided that he had to know the truth now.

"Johnny, you didn't propose because you thought that's what'd I'd want, did you?" Roy asked.

Johnny's brown eyes suddenly turned cold.

"Is that what you think?!" John demanded. "You don't think I'm serious about this?! If that's what you think, then you can pack your bags now!"

"John, I didn't mean-" Roy stammered.

"GET YOUR STUFF AND GET OUT!!!" Johnny growled.

A stunned Roy got up, dressed and packed a bag with a few days worth of clothes.

"Johnny, don't make me go." Roy pleaded. "Please, Honey. I'm sorry."

Johnny just turned and faced the wall without a word.

"Okay, fine. I know when I'm not wanted." A hurt Roy said, then walked out of the bedroom. "You know where I'll be. Call me when you're ready to talk."

With that, Roy took his bag and left the house. As much as he loved John, Roy wasn't gonna stay where he wasn't welcome.

***

Two weeks later, Roy was living in a motel room. He'd tried to call Johnny, but always got his machine.

He's just being stubborn. Roy thought. He thinks that I can't live without him. It's him who misses me! Well, I'm not about to go crawling back!

Meanwhile at station 112, Johnny sat, playing with Roddy in his office, bouncing the boy on his knee. John deeply regretted what he'd said to Roy two weeks prior, but he felt he was in the right.

How could Roy question my marriage proposal? Johnny asked himself. If he doubts me, then maybe we're better off apart. Roy is just like everyone else, he believes the gossip, not in me!

Johnny was startled out of his thoughts by the entry of his Engineer, Charlie Jacobs.

"Cap, the engine's all sat to go." 5'9 and Red-haired Charlie smiled.

"Okay, Charlie." John smiled, weakly.

"Cap, call Captain DeSoto." Charlie suggested. "I'll bet he's missing you too."

"Nah," John smiled. "If Roy questions my honesty, then what's the use?"

The tones sounded before Charlie could reply.

Station 112, Squad 51, unknown type rescue. 599 West Andrews St. 599 West Andrews St. Crosstreet: Jefferson. Timeout: 15:45.

"Station 112, 10-4-KME-532." Johnny acknowledged, then boarded Engine 112.

As he and his crew left the station, Johnny pushed all thoughts of Roy from his mind.

***

Arriving on scene minutes later, Johnny met an older woman.

"I'm Captain Gage, what's the trouble?" Johnny asked.

"My Grandchild got into some drain cleaner!" The old lady cried.

"Steve! Chuck! We have a poisoning!" Johnny yelled to his medics.

Johnny then got on his HT.

"LA, Engine 112. We have a poisoning at this location. Respond an ambulance, cancel squad 51." Johnny requested.

10-4, engine 112. Squad 51, cancel. The dispatcher responded.

"Cap, can you grab this drug box?" Asked Paramedic Chuck Yates.

"Sure, Chuck." John replied, grabbing the box. "Let's go."

***

An hour later, Chuck Yates entered Johnny's office. John could tell by the young man's face that the kid had died.

"She didn't make it!" Chuck sobbed. "We did everything right, but that little angel died!"

"Chuck, we're not god." Johnny told the young brown haired man. "We can't save everyone, no matter how much we want to."

"It's just not fair, Cap!" The newly certified medic cried. "She was just a little girl!"

"How long have you been a Paramedic?" Johnny asked the distraught man.

"Six days, Sir!" The young man sniffed. "Why did I take this damn training? We're here to save lives, not watch people die! Cap, I'm going back to the engine!"

"Yates, stop it!" Johnny commanded. "You knew what you were taking on when you became a fireman! Same with Paramedic training! If you wanna quit the medics just cause a little kid died, then who needs ya?! Why did the academy waste the time and money to train you?!"

Chuck just stared at his Captain, wide-eyed.

"I was a Paramedic before I was promoted!" John told Yates. "I've seen many folks die and had thought of quitting many times!"

"What stopped you?" Chuck asked.

"I thought back to when there was no Paramedic program." Johnny answered. "I remembered when I was at 10's as a Rescue Man! I thought back on how bitter I was when a victim died and I had to watch helplessly. That's why Captain DeSoto and I fought so hard for the passage of the Wedsworth-Townsend Act! The law that allows you to do what you do!"

Chuck hung his head.

"I'm sorry, Captain Gage. I was letting feelings cloud my judgment." Chuck realized.

"Chuck, even if you were on an engine, people would still die." Johnny told the Paramedic. "Isn't it better to be a medic and the victims have a chance, then a fireman who can do nothing?"

Chuck thought it over.

"You're right, Cap." Chuck answered.

"I know I'm right." John smiled. "For every person that dies, one person is saved."

"Thanks, Cap. I'd better get back out to Steve and help him wash the squad." Chuck smiled, then left the office.

Johnny came to a realization as his own words echoed in his mind.

I quit Roy because he asked a fair question! John realized. I did the same thing Chuck just tried to do!

***

As John started to pick up the phone to call Roy, another thought hit him.

What if Roy's with someone else now? Johnny worried. I did throw him out of my life.

"Cap, you got to see this!" Charlie Jacobs shouted, excitedly, entering the office with that day's paper.

The engineer handed Johnny the society page. John just gaped, looking at the picture of Roy in his dress uniform, Hank Stanley by his side.

"Cap, I'm real sorry." Charlie said, realizing the effect the article was having on John. "I know how much you loved Roy."

"It's alright, Charlie." Johnny assured the other man. "It was bound to happen. Roy couldn't wait forever. I understand that. I threw away a good thing and Chief Stanley scooped him up. I wasn't ready to commit. I wish them both well."

"Are you sure, Cap?" The concerned Engineer asked.

"Charlie, Roy married Hank. Who am I to interfere?" Johnny asked. "I just hope Hank can give Roy the love he deserves. Hell, I proposed to Roy so many times and never went through with it! I was and am a damn coward!"

Johnny buried his head in his hands and began to weep. Charlie offered his Captain what little comfort he could.

"Cap, maybe your heart was trying to tell you something." Charlie soothed. "Maybe you and Roy weren't meant to be in the long run."

"You really think so?" Johnny sniffed.

"John, you said yourself that you proposed to Roy many times, yet you never went through with it. Maybe you're just not marriage material. Alot of people aren't. Your heart will tell you when you're ready to marry. You'll find the right person someday."

"Maybe Roddy is all I can handle right now." Johnny said. "I should just focus on being a good dad to him right now."

"Yeah," Charlie agreed. "You need to show that boy of yours that you can take care of him without Roy. He needs to see that his Daddy is just as strong on his own and does not need another to survive."

"Have you been playing that Gloria Gaynor record again?" Johnny laughed.

"I will survive is my favorite song." Charlie smiled. "And you will, without Roy."

"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Johnny shouted.

Johnny sat up in his bed, shaking. He heard the pounding of running footsteps in the hall. A second later, Roy entered.

"Roy! Roy!" Johnny cried. "Quick what day is this?!"

"It's father's day, Honey." Roy smiled. "You had a bad dream, that's all."

"Roy, it was awful!" Johnny sobbed. "I dreamed that I kicked you out and two weeks later, you married Chief Stanley!"

"Oh, Honey, that's what you're afraid of, isn't it?" Roy understood. "That's why you're afraid to marry. You're afraid that if we don't marry, I'll leave you for somebody else."

"Honey, we may have our fights, but I'd never leave you for another. I'm sorry I questioned your proposal. Forgive me?"
Roy pleaded.

Johnny grabbed Roy and held him close.

"I'm sorry I threw you out!" Johnny cried. "I let hurt almost ruin our anniversary!"

"Honey, all is forgiven and I will marry you, tonight." Roy promised. "All our friends and family are waiting at the beach."

*

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you John Gage and Roy DeSoto, partners in life and love." The minister smiled.

Everyone applauded and cheered as Roy and Johnny kissed. Roy then escorted his husband to a secluded area of beach while Dix and the rest began a party of their own.

"Honey, we'll rejoin our friends and loved ones in a bit, but right now, I just want it to be us. Happy?" Roy asked.

"Incredibly." Johnny smiled. "You?"

"Yes and no." Roy quietly replied. "I wish the kids could've been here."

"I know, Baby." Johnny soothed. "But don't let that ruin our day. "I like to think Chris and Jennifer were there in spirit.
Honey, You have your memories of them."

"It's just hard having them so far away." Roy said, sadly.

"Roy, you can't let your kids being far away get you down." Johnny said. "Be lucky you see them at all cause there are alot of dads who never get to see their kids at all. Roy, be lucky that you get them in the summer and alternate holidays."

Roy realized that Johnny was right.

"I'm sorry, Baby." Roy whispered. "This is our wedding night and I shouldn't be ruining it because I'm feeling sorry for
myself."

Roy took Johnny in his arms and held him.

"Now, where are we going on our honeymoon?"

"Honey, it's gonna be awful hard for us to get leave during brushfire season." Johnny replied. "So, why don't we just wait for our honeymoon?"

"That's just what I was thinking." Roy replied. "If we wait, we can go on a special trip."

"Agreed." Johnny nodded. "We can wait and save up, look at brochures, Etc. Waiting can make our honeymoon all the more special."

"So, in the meantime, why don't we just enjoy a week here?" Roy suggested. "My wedding gift to you."

"Sounds great." Johnny smiled.

As the waves crashed into the shore, Roy kissed Johnny deeply, gently removing his clothes all the while. Johnny moaned as Roy lay him back on the hot sand. Roy moaned as Johnny stroked his erection though his pants. Johnny then unzipped Roy's pants and slid them and Roy's underwear off.

Roy, meanwhile, unbuttoned Johnny's shirt. He then pulled John's undershirt up, kissing and licking Johnny's sculpted chest. Johnny moaned as Roy's mouth and tongue did their magic and worked down to his belly button. Johnny purred as Roy slid his slacks and boxers over his slim hips, unleashing his raging erection.

"Ahem!" A male voice demanded.

"Brice!" Johnny yelled as Roy's eyes flew open. "Roy and I want a little privacy! Do you mind?!

"Actually, Captain Gage, I do. This is a public beach and our friends and colleagues are just yards away. So why don't you two put a hold on the mating ritual, get dressed and act like adults!" Brice hissed. "Remember, you two represent the Los Angeles County fire department!"

"Brice, Johnny and I are married and we'd like a little time to ourselves! Scram!" Roy ordered.

"It is appropriate for you two to join your friends now." Brice countered, ignoring Roy.

"Roy, I can't do it now anyway. Thanks alot, Brice!" Johnny hissed, dressing quickly, then going over to join Dix and the rest. "Roy, I'll see you over there."

Roy watched as Johnny stalked away toward the reception, then turned to Brice.

"How dare you!" Roy yelled. "I just wanted to make love to my husband!"

Before Craig could react, Roy punched him in the face, knocking him on his ass. He then joined Johnny at their reception. He found Johnny, sitting alone at one of the tables.

"Roy, please, just leave me alone now!" Johnny sobbed. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life!"

Roy understood Johnny's feelings and went to mingle, for he too was humiliated by their encounter with Brice.

***********

The next morning, a worried Roy arrived at station forty-one for work. He was worried cause Johnny had not come home the night before. Roy also was concerned because Johnny had left Roddy behind, something Johnny never did.

As Roy finished dressing, Brice came in.

"Captain DeSoto, Fireman Craig Brice reporting for duty." Craig said.

"Brice, as soon as you're dressed, I wanna see you in my office." Roy ordered.

"Yes, Captain." Brice answered.

Roy nodded and after grabbing a cup of coffee from the kitchen, retreated into his office. Sitting down at his desk, Roy was struggling to keep his feelings in check. Between his worry over Johnny and his anger with Brice, Roy too felt shame for his own actions the day before. He was the one that put Johnny in that embarrassing position by suggesting they make love on the beach, a public beach.

Roy's thoughts drifted to when he and Joanne were just married. His mind drifted to their wedding night. Roy remembered how uncomfortable Joanne was even being in the same bed with him. Joanne had insisted on twin beds even when they bought their first house. If they made love, Jo or Roy would go back to their own bed after the deed was done.

Jo always said it was never proper for a husband and wife to sleep in the same bed together. Roy remembered.

Roy further remembered that after graduating the fire academy, Joanne was disturbed everytime his alarm clock sounded on the mornings he was on shift, that she decided to sleep in their finished basement.

As Roy looked back now, he couldn't help but feel sad for Joanne.

So prim and proper. Roy thought, shaking his graying head. She will never feel a heartbeat next to her at night or a pair of arms keeping her warm. Manners influence every aspect of her life.

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" Brice asked, startling Roy out of his thoughts.

"Don't you know how to knock?!" Roy demanded. "Shut the door and sit down!"

Brice did so.

"Craig, because of that stunt you pulled last night, Johnny left the reception and never came home!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Captain." Brice answered.

"I'll just bet you are!" Roy hissed. "Brice, If Johnny and I decide to make love, it's our business where and when we do it! Nobody, even you, has a right to interfere! When two people are in love and newly married, they have a right to be intimate where and when they want! You have and had no right to tell us how we should behave! We know how to behave, got it?!"

"Yes, Sir." Brice quietly replied.

"Dismissed." Roy concluded.

Roy watched as Brice got up and left the office and as his Engineer, Frank Evans, came in.

"Cap, the fellas are waiting for roll call." 6'2 Frank advised.

"I'll be right there, Frank." Roy replied.

"Cap, I'm sure Johnny's okay." Frank offered.

"Thanks for the concern." Roy smiled, weakly as Frank went back to join the other guys.

Roy pushed all thoughts of Johnny from his mind as he grabbed his clipboard, then left the office to conduct roll call.'

****

As his shift wore on, Roy's worry about Johnny grew, though he tried not to let it show. Meanwhile, in Laramie, Wyoming, Johnny was helping his parents on their ranch. As they herded cattle, Roderick Gage spoke up.

"John Roderick, I'm disappointed in you." His dad told him. "Your Mama and I did not raise you to run away when there's a bump in the road. Roy must be worried sick about you."

"Dad, I'm just so sore at Brice that if I were there now, I'd strangle him." Johnny told his father. "Roy and I wanted to be alone and he ruined it."

Roderick, like his Son, had dark hair and a crooked smile. As he looked at Johnny now, Roderick wore an expression of concern. Ever since his oldest Son had revealed his homosexuality, Roderick feared for Johnny's safety. He knew that some people were opposed to homosexuals.

"Son, has Brice ever threatened you?" Roderick asked.

"No, but he has stated he hates what Roy and I were doing." John replied. "I think he pulled that stunt deliberately."

"I agree." His dad replied. "Question is, what are you gonna do about it?"

"What can I do? I've gotta deal with him when he's assigned to my station." Johnny replied, skillfully guiding his horse as he herded a cow toward some pens.

"Can you ask that he not be assigned to you?" Roderick asked.

"Yeah, but if I need a Paramedic to fill in, he may be the only one available." Johnny replied. "I'm still a Paramedic, but as a Captain, my place is on the engine."

"I do think you should alert Chief McConnikee about Brice." Roderick advised. "Aren't there regulations against this type of discrimination?"

"Yes, but it would be hard to prove that that's what Brice was doing. Brice could say that he walked in on us accidentally and it would be hard to prove he didn't." John explained. "Dad, would it be alright if Roy and I honeymooned here? I've wanted him to meet you guys for a long time."

"Son, anyone who loves you is welcome in our home." Roderick smiled. "You gonna call him later?"

"Yeah, he is probably worried sick." Johnny realized.

*****

After getting the animals squared away, Johnny and his dad went inside the house where John's mother, Pam Gage, was preparing dinner.

"Johnny!" Pam smiled, hugging her Son. "What are you doin here?"

"Just decided to visit." Johnny lied. "Billy here?"

"Nah, your brother saw you with your dad and took off." Pam replied.

"Mom, I'm married." Johnny grinned.

"About time, Young man." The Native American lady grinned. "Roy's a lucky man."

"I just wish my kid brother would accept Roy and I's marriage." John shook his dark head. "He can't even accept that I'm gay."

"Johnny, the only thing that matters is us." Roy smiled, walking into the Gage house.

"Roy, how?" Johnny gaped.

"Honey, I know you like the back of my hand." Roy smiled. "Where else would you go after Brice? I got a replacement at the station, then caught the first flight out. You okay?"

"Yeah, but I still wanna kill Brice." Johnny answered.

"I heard about what he did." Pam remarked. "Rotten son of a bitch!"

"Now, Pammy, Craig and Billy are alike in that way." Roderick soothed. "They are scared of what they don't understand."

"Mom, Dad, meet the love of my life, Roy DeSoto. Roy, my parents, Roderick and Pamela Gage." Johnny beamed.

"Sir, Ma'am," Roy greeted both, respectfully.

"Roy, we're family. You can call us Mom and Dad." Pam smiled. "You're a lucky man. I hope you know that."

"I know." Roy smiled, wrapping an arm around Johnny. "Johnny, can we have our honeymoon here?"

"You bet we can." Johnny smiled. "I talked to dad about it earlier."

"Son, we don't you and Roy share your old room?" Pam suggested. "I'm sure Roy would like to rest after his long trip."

"Just wait til you see it, Pally." Johnny grinned.

"Right behind you, Babe." Roy grinned.

Upon arrival, Roy was amazed by the collection of old toy firetrucks and memorabilia that sat on shelves by the bed.

"I started collecting those when I was ten." Johnny proudly explained. "I loved everything to do with firefighting. There's only one thing missing. A toy squad 51."

"Some of this could be worth money, alot of money." Roy mused. "I know you couldn't part with any of this though and I wouldn't want you to."

"Billy would like this gone and me with it." Johnny told his love. "My little brother doesn't approve of us. He took off when he saw me with Dad earlier."

"Johnny, come here." Roy requested, pulling him close. "There are people in our lives who may not approve of us or our lifestyle, but we can't let them tear us apart. Understand? We have to stay strong."

"I can with you by my side." John whispered, snuggling into Roy's chest.

"Dinner!" Pam called.

As Roy and John made their way downstairs, John's dad had Johnny's younger brother, Billy in the barn.

"William Roderick, Johnny's new husband is gonna be stayin with us and I expect you to treat him right, is that clear?! Johnny too!" Roderick hissed.

"Dad, you let that faggot and his boy toy into our house?! Twenty year old Billy yelled. "How could you?!"

"Because, he is my Son, same as you!" Roderick shot back. "You will respect your brother!"

"If he's stayin, I'm leaving!" 6'4 Billy yelled.

"Okay, fine." Johnny replied as he joined the men. "Billy, you don't have to like me or my life, but my life is mine to lead, not yours! This is Dad's house and what he says goes! If you can't accept that, then you are not worthy of the Gage name or of this family!"

Billy glared at his older brother for a minute, then Roy. Billy then, walked out to the drive, got in his sports car and left. Johnny then turned to his Dad.

"Dad, I'm sorry." John said.

"For what? You did nothing wrong." Roderick soothed. "C'mon, let's go eat."

***

As Johnny and his father rejoined the others, Pam and Roy were talking.

"So, you're a Captain too." Pam smiled, as she sat the table.

"That's right." Roy replied. "But Johnny and I were partners before we were promoted at station fifty-one. Johnny was one of the best Paramedics in Los Angeles County."

"You weren't so bad yourself, lover." Johnny smiled as he and his father came in.

"Where's Billy?" Pam asked.

"He decided to eat elsewhere." Johnny replied.

"I see." Pam said, knowingly. "You fellas go wash up. Dinner's about ready."

Roderick went to the kitchen sink to wash his hands while Johnny washed his in the bathroom.

"Rod, we have to do something about Billy." Pam said to her husband. "We can't have this family torn apart cause of him!"

"Honey, Billy isn't a little boy anymore. He has a right to his feelings and opinions, even if we disagree with them." Roderick replied as he dried his hands with a dishtowel.

"I know, it's just that Billy and Johnny were so close as boys." Pam said, sadly.

"Mom, things change and people, even brothers, grow apart." Johnny said, coming in from the bathroom. "We love Billy, but it has to be him that changes, not us trying to change him."

"The boy's right, Hon." Roderick agreed, taking his chair at the head of the table. "Billy needs to be man enough to see that homosexuality is nothing to fear. If he can't do that, then I'd rather not have him here while Roy and John are."

****

Later, after the dishes were done, the Gage family and Roy were seated in the Gage's living room.

"What kid of a kid was Johnny?" Roy asked, between sips of his coffee.

"Honey, Johnny was a very good boy. He worked hard. Got along well with others, never talked back." Pam beamed. "He was a pleasure to raise."

"Mothers." Roderick smiled. "Always like to think their babies are saints. Johnny was a good boy, but like most kids, he found ways to get into trouble."

"It was my mouth that landed me in the most hot water!" Johnny laughed. "Once, when I was twelve, I got a black eye cause I shot off my big mouth."

"Why does that not suprise me?" Roy shook his head. "Even today, you still shoot off your mouth."

"Roy, that's not fair." Pam admonished him. "Johnny gets riled up when he's passionate about something. When Johnny sees a wrong, he'll risk himself to make it right. That's my Son."

"Takes after his old man, he does." Roderick added.

"But that can be a bad thing sometimes, wouldn't you agree?" Roy countered.

"It can be." Pam agreed.

"I can tell you many stories where Johnny's drive has landed him or others in hot water." Roy said.....

**

FIVE YEARS AGO, STATION 51........

"Happy now, Gage?" Chet demanded. "You got what you wanted and now Hank Stanley's been reassigned to HQ, thanks to you!"

"Guys, I did what I had to do as a Paramedic!" Johnny argued. "Cap's paranoia is out of control! A station cannot have a leader who falls apart at the mere mention of a Chief!"

"Johnny, he was a good Captain!" Mike Stoker yelled. "Your little memo to McConnikee made Hank look like a mental case!"

"THAT'S CAUSE HE IS!" John screamed. "Anyone who burns a hat has gotta be nuts!"

**

Present.......

"Roy, Johnny did what he had to." Pam said. "From what he told me, Hank was really losing it and jeopardizing you fellas needlessly. All in the name of proving something to McConnikee."

"I know. I just wish Mike would understand." Roy sighed. "He hates Johnny and refuses to even look at us now."

"Sounds like Mike was close to Hank." Roderick mused. "Maybe too close."

As the hours passed and people got sleepy, all retired to their rooms. Once alone in Johnny's room, Roy kissed him.

"Honey, you did the right thing then, so don't kick yourself." Roy soothed, stripping Johnny gently. Roy then let Johnny undress him. Both moaned as they fell into each other's arms.

"Roy, I'm sorry I took off like that." Johnny said.

"Honey, let's not talk about that now." Roy whispered, carrying Johnny over to the bed and lying him on it.

"What'd you think of my folks?" Johnny asked.

"Well, it seems to me that your Mom likes to think her baby can do no wrong." Roy answered. "She looks at you as if you can walk on water."

"Roy, my mom has alot of guilt." Johnny told him. "You see, my dad was married to someone else when he began an affair with her."

"I see." Roy nodded.

"When she found out she was pregnant with me, she hid it from dad." Johnny revealed. "She was afraid of ruining what Dad and his first wife had with a baby, so she ran away and I had no dad for the first year of my life."

****

As Roy was about to kiss Johnny, both heard yelling from downstairs.

"I'M YOUR SON TOO, DAMMIT!!!" Both heard Billy roar.

"Uh, oh." Johnny whispered, getting up from bed and running downstairs with Roy at his heels.

"Billy, Johnny loves Roy, can't you see that?" Pam asked. "It's the same as when a man loves a woman."

"Okay, Billy, what's the meaning of this?!" Johnny demanded. "You're drunk, I can smell it!"

"You are a fag, Johnny Gage! You are a godless, spineless fag!" Billy spat.

"Just what the hell gives you the right to judge me?!" Johnny growled. "I don't interfere with you and your multiple girlfriends!"

"You son of a bitch!" Billy yelled, lunging for his brother.

Roy grabbed Billy and slammed him against the nearest wall.

"Now you listen to me, you overgrown brat!" Roy hissed, holding the younger Gage by the throat as Billy gasped, his brown eyes pleading. "Your brother and I are in love, no matter how much you scream and carry on about it! I love that man way more than you obviously do! If you were one of my kids, I'd beat you within an inch of your life for treating your older brother like he has some disease just because he happens to be gay!"

Billy gasped as Roy tightened the grip on his throat. Billy wet in pants in fear.

"Now, Billy-boy, here's what you're gonna do!" Roy hissed. "The next time you come around here, you'd better be sober and have a smile on your face or I will break you in so many pieces that there won't be any need for a casket after I kill you, got me?!"

Billy nodded.

Roy then carried a fearful Billy to the front door and tossed him out on to the lawn, literally. Billy cried as he lay in the grass and his father approached him.

"Daddy!" Billy cried. "Are you gonna let him do that to me?!"

Roderick just glared at his younger Son.

"I only wish I'd been man enough to do what Roy just did." Roderick told Billy. "Until you shape up, you are no Son of mine! You have five minutes to get your stuff and get off my property!"

"I'm ashamed of you, William Roderick." Pam softly added, joining her husband. "Make that four minutes."

Billy got up as Johnny came from the house with a box of his brother's things. As Billy got into his car, Johnny handed him the stuff.

"As far as I'm concerned, I'm an only child." Johnny stated, then rejoined Roy and his folks inside his parent's house.

From a living room window all watched as Billy left. Roy then took Johnny back upstairs after bidding the older Gage's good night. Once in Johnny's room with the door shut, Johnny collapsed on Roy's shoulder.

"Hey, Baby, ssshhh." Roy soothed. "You can't help what Billy is."

"Roy, what happened to him?!" Johnny wept. "We were inseparable as kids!"

"I know, Junior." Roy soothed, rocking Johnny in his arms. "Somehow, Billy has changed, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't love each other."

Roy kissed Johnny's quivering lips softly. Johnny looked into Roy's blue eyes, love filling his own brown ones.

end part 17