Copyright: May 2001 By Robin R. Neher

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANY PREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS THAT MAY BE VIOLATED. FEEL FREE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS, BUT NOT FOR PROFIT.

THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSON AND/OR PERSON'S ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: Food Fiasco

Author: Robin R. Neher

E-mail: NRobin1027@aol.com

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Johnny/You'll see

Archive: Yes

Summary: Johnny must cook a gourmet meal for the guys and save his latest relationship.

Content Warning: Graphic M/F sex

Food Fiasco
by Robin R. Neher

Roy DeSoto immediately knew that something was wrong when he arrived at station fifty-one for work. Going into the lockeroom, Roy saw a dejected Johnny Gage sitting on the bench by his open locker.

"Junior?" Roy asked, his tone full of concern. "Did your date go sour?"

"Yeah!" Johnny griped. "I asked Charlene to marry me last night!"

"She turned you down." Roy guessed.

"You bet she did!" Johnny growled. "She called me cheap!"

"That's because you are!" A lady yelled, following Cap into the room. "Johnny, cheap wine and moldy cheese do not constitute a romantic dinner! Mud wrestling on TV does not make for a
romantic night!"

"Charlene!" Johnny hissed as Roy stepped in.

"I'm Roy DeSoto, Johnny's partner." Roy introduced himself.

"Charlene Mayfield." Charlene sighed as she pushed her long red hair out of her eyes. "Your partner is a cheapskate! Last night's date was going to a drive in movie, the night before that, listening to John talk and talk about this damn station all night long!"

"Charlene, what do you want from me?" Johnny asked. "I'm not a millionaire ya know!"

"I know that, John, but you won't even cook for me. You won't dress nice, you won't take me out. I wanna be treated like a queen." Charlene told him. "Johnny, I'm sorry, but it's over for us."

With that, Charlene turned and left the station.

"I'm sorry, Johnny." Roy said, sympathetically.

***

As the morning wore on, Johnny was in a surely mood. Chet, with his usual antics, was making things worse.

"Hey, Gage, heard you got dumped again." Chet snickered.

"That's not surprising for a guy who takes his dates to Burger King!" Marco Lopez laughed. "I hear he get his flowers off dead people's graves!"

"I hear he takes his women to bars sometimes!" Chimed in Mike Stoker.

"Guys," Roy warned as Cap came in.

All the guys shut up as Cap joined them.

"John, your turn to cook, Pal." Cap told him. "See if you can make something other than hamburgers and hot dogs, huh? Chief McConnikee and his daughter are joining us. I want the meal to be a gourmet affair."

***

Later, after the others chores were assigned, Johnny and Roy went to get supplies from Rampart in the squad.

"Roy, what am I gonna do? The only things I can make are hamburgers and hot-dogs!" Johnny worried. "And Cap's going to hover like a hungry hawk!"

"I've already got a plan." Roy assured his friend. "I’ve called a caterer friend of mine and he's going to come to the station and cook and you'll take the credit."

"It won't work. Cap will know right away I didn't make it." John fretted.

"Johnny, Cap won't even be there." Roy snickered, behind the wheel. "You see, I've arranged for Mrs. Stanley to keep Hank away from the station by telling him there's a fire at home that only he can put out. Get it?"

"Oh, Darla will keep him busy doing his "husbandly" duties." Johnny snickered.

"Exactly." Roy smiled, evilly. "Darla and Hank have been trying to have another child."

"I hope this works." Johnny grinned.

"Don't worry, Junior." Roy soothed. "If there one thing that distracts a man, it's his lady. Hank should be getting the call just about now."

Just as Johnny was about to say something else, the squad's CB radio beeped three times.

Squad 51, difficult breathing, 752 Kellogg Way. 752 Kellogg Way. Timeout: 10:04

"Squad 51, 10-4." Johnny responded as Roy turned on the light bar and sirens.

***

Meanwhile, Hank was just arriving home from the station after getting his wife's urgent call.

"Honey, I'm home!" Hank called as he entered his front door.

Before Cap could react, he was blindfolded from behind then stripped of his clothes.

"Hi, Love." Darla hissed in her husband's ear in her sexiest voice. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Ummm. me too." Hank agreed, felling his manhood start to harden. "Honey, the Chief's coming to the station for lunch."

"That's nice." Tall brunette Darla agreed, licking and kissing her husband's ear. "But, you're going to have your hands full right here, with me. Your men can deal with McConnikee. Who knows? This lunch might go smoother with you not there."

"Yeah," Hank agreed. "I just hope Gage isn't all over Robin."

"Robin?" Darla replied.

"The Chief's daughter." Cap explained as he felt his wife's mouth sucking his neck. "I know Gage will act like an ass."

"Hon, Give John a little credit!" Darla laughed. "He may be a show off, but I'm sure he'll be a perfect gentleman with the Chief around."

Hank smiled as Darla resumed sucking him.

"I guess I worry too much." Hank admitted.

"Boy, is that the understatement of the year!" Darla giggled as she caressed her husband's chest. "Honey, Roy will be there to keep Johnny in check. If there's one person to worry about, it's Chester B. Kelly."

"He wouldn't. Would he?" Hank wondered out loud. "Chet wouldn't play a prank on the Chief! Darla, I gotta get back to the station!"

"Henry Matthew Stanley, the only thing you've got to do is make love to me!" Darla told Cap as she swirled her tongue over her husband's lips.

**

At the station, after returning from the run, Roy called Chet into the office.

"Kelly, I think it might be best if you weren't here while McConnikee is." Roy told Chet.

"Roy, I know better then to pull a prank on the Chief!" The short, mustached man argued. "I'll be on my best behavior, scout's honor!"

"Why don't I believe you?" Roy asked. "Chet, you'd do anything to get Johnny. I can't afford to let that happen today."

"Awww, but, Roy-" Chet pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Chet, but I can't take the chance of you doing something." Roy cut him off. "I'm sending you to another station for a little while."

"Dammit, Roy, I'm a part of this shift too!" Chet yelled, his anger rising. "If a Captain or above tells me to go, then I'll go. Til then, I stay! So get used to it!"

With that, Chet turned to leave the office, but before he left, Chet had a warning for the senior medic.

"You'll get yours, DeSoto! I will get you! So, you'd better watch your back!" Chet hissed, warningly, then left the office.

Roy then went to make sure that the rest of the station was neat and presentable for the Chief.

**

Later, as the time for the luncheon neared, Roy grew increasingly nervous, remembering Chet's earlier threat.

"Roy, ignore Chet!" Johnny told him. "He's just going to do as he wants anyway and he is right, you're not a Captain."

"Johnny, you know what Chet will do if he gets a chance." Roy reminded Johnny as he straightened his tie on his dress uniform. "Johnny, I expect you to be a perfect gentleman around Robin, understand?"

"Yeah, treat me like a kid, why don't ya?!" John griped. "Roy, contrary to popular belief, I do know how to behave! I'm not a total ape!"

With that, Johnny left the locker room to go check on the caterer in the kitchen. Roy just sighed as he finished dressing.

This is gonna be a long lunch. Roy thought to himself as he combed over his bald spot, then put on his dress hat.

**

An hour later, Roy and the rest waited nervously in the apparatus bay for the Chief's arrival. As an hour turned into two, the guys all started to show how uncomfortable they were in their formal uniforms.

"Guys, just hang in there, the Chief just got delayed." Roy tried to assure the rest. "I'm sure he'll be here any minute."

"Roy, if McConnikee hasn't shown by now, he's not gonna!" The usually reserved Mike Stoker snapped. "I'm putting us back in service! Roy, we can't spend the whole shift like this!"

With that, Mike got on the station's base radio.

"LA, Station 51 in service." The Engineer reported.

Station 51. Dispatch acknowledged.

The other guys all went to change back into regular uniform. All except Roy, who sank disappointedly onto the squad's back bumper.

"Roy?" A concerned Mike asked.

"A little class, that's all I wanted, a little class." A hurt Roy told the Engineer. "All I got in return was a mutiny. Would it have hurt you bums to take a little pride in yourselves and in your station?"

"We are proud of our station." Mike soothed. "Roy, why can't the Chief see us as we are? Why do we need to be all primped and perfect every time McConnikee comes? We're firemen, not figurines for display. We can see the Chief anytime, but we have people in Los Angeles County who may need us now."

"Stoker's right, DeSoto." Agreed Captain Kyle Vernon, Stanley's replacement. "We can't keep this station out of service for a Chief that won't show. You also can't sweep Kelly under the rug just because he may play a prank.

"Roy, the best way to impress McConnikee is to do our jobs as usual." Johnny finished as he came out of the locker room.

"Maybe for you." Roy answered, softly. "But I see how paranoid Stanley gets at the mere mention of any Chief, not just McConnikee. And who could blame him with the crew he has."

"Meaning?!" Johnny demanded.

"Johnny, Hank Stanley leads the sloppiest most careless crew within the department!" Roy yelled. "How many times has Chet lost his badge? How many times have you been injured this past year, Junior?!"

"So?" Mike prompted.

"So, I don't think you men care about the department!" Roy raged. "It's seems that the only reason some of you joined was for recognition! You know, I think Cap Hookrader is right! Some of you don't work hard enough! You just do enough to squeak by!"

Al the guys took off their badges and threw them on the floor, including Cap Vernon.

"Okay, DeSoto, let's see you run this station, all by yourself!" Johnny challenged. "I'd like to see you work a fire or high rescue without help! Good luck trying!"

With that, the others cleaned out their lockers and left the station. Roy just smiled as they left.

**

At the Stanley house, Cap was purring in the arms of his wife.

"Darla, you're wonderful." Hank smiled as she caressed him. "We haven't made love like this in ages."

"Not since our wedding night." Darla smiled. "I had no idea you'd last this long."

"Honey, just because I'm older doesn't mean I don't have what it takes to keep you happy. I only wish I could keep McConnikee as happy."

"Hank, why do you worry about him so?" Darla asked. "So, you burned his dress hat, big deal! It was just a hat! It's not as if you burned the station down!"

"Actually-," Hank squirmed, suddenly uncomfortable.

"You didn't!" Darla laughed.

"Afraid so." Cap blushed. "McConnikee was making me crazy!"

"So?" His wife asked.

"Darla, you should've seen him that day! Hovering over me like a hawk!" Cap grimaced. "It was as if he didn't trust me!"

"Honey," Darla soothed. "You were his Engineer, so why wouldn't he trust you? Why are you so scared of him?"

"He'll use the hat affair to stop me from being promoted. I just know it!" Hank told Darla.

"Hank, Sweetheart, you're worrying about something that won't happen for ten years." Darla soothed. "You're making yourself crazy over nothing, the guys at the station too.. You need to
learn how to relax around Chiefs. If you can't do that as a Captain, you won't be able to do it as a Battalion Chief either, Don't panic every time he comes to the station. Don't go nuts on inspection day."

"You think I go overboard?" Cap asked.

"Way over." Darla laughed. "Honey, just clean the station as you normally would. Don't go crazy just because the Chief's coming. As for the hats, screw them! Tell the guys to keep them in their lockers. If the Chief asks, assure him that you all have them."

Hank smiled at his wife, knowing she was right.

**

Meanwhile at station 51, Roy DeSoto was facing Chief McConnikee, alone.

"DeSoto, how could you do something so damn stupid?!" The Chief demanded. "Those men may leave the fire service cause of you!"

"Sir, I sincerely apologize!" Roy stammered, standing at attention. "I didn't mean those things!"

"But you shot off your big mouth, didn't you?!" McConnikee demanded. "DeSoto, you get your ass over to that phone and get those guys back here!"

"Yes, Sir! Right away, Sir!" Roy stammered as he ran over to the phone.

*********

A few minutes later, Chief McConnikee came over to Roy who was dialing the wall phone in the kitchen.

"Well?!" The Chief demanded.

"I can't get ahold of anybody, Sir!" Roy barked.

"DeSoto, drop and give me twenty!" The chief demanded.

Roy immediately obeyed as the Chief watched.

McConnikee then grabbed Roy by his hair and pushed his face into the floor, then pulled him back up again, then down.

"Up, down! Up, Down!" The Chief demanded, pulling poor Roy by his hair.

Roy did the push up till his muscles gave out and he collapsed to the floor.

"Do you care about this station, Fireman DeSoto?!" McConnikee demanded.

"Yes, Sir!" A crying Roy barked.

"I can't hear you!" McConnikee yelled, like an Army drill Sergeant.

"YES, SIR!" Roy yelled and sobbed.

"On your feet!" The Chief ordered.

Roy quickly snapped to.

"Fireman Roy DeSoto, you are hereby discharged from the fire service! Someone who can say that other men don't care about their station and their equipment doesn't care about those things himself!"

Roy cried as the Chief ripped the badge off his uniform.

"Get your stuff and get out!" The Chief hissed.

 ****

Back at Hank's, Cap had an uneasy feeling.

"Honey?" A concerned Darla asked.

"I have this bad feeling." Hank whispered. "Something's going wrong at the station! I just know it!"

Cap got up and dressed before his wife could react. Then, kissing her, Hank left for the station.

****

Arriving at 51's minutes later, Cap's fears were confirmed as he saw Roy leaving a box tucked under his arm.

"Roy, where are you going?" Hank asked. "You're on duty."

"Not anymore." Roy coldly replied, walking to his truck. "I've just been discharged from the fire service."

"What?! On who's authority?!" Cap demanded.

"Chief McConnikee's." Roy shrugged. "That's okay, though. Now, I just have to figure out how I'm gonna tell my two little kids that their daddy lost his job. So long, Cap."

Hank watched as Roy walked the rest of the way to his truck, got in and left the station. Hank then went inside the station to talk with the Chief.

****

"Fired!!?" Joanne DeSoto yelled twenty minutes later, after just having heard the news from Roy after he arrived home. "Honey, Is there anything I can do?"

"Nah," A crying Roy replied. "I have to figure out what I'm gonna tell Chris and Sara. Jo, I loved firefighting! That's the only thing I know how to do."

"I know, Babe." Joanne soothed as she rocked her husband. "How are we going to live now?"

"I have no idea." Roy sniffed. "How can I look my babies in the eye now? They depend on me!"

Jo held Roy as he sobbed, uncontrollably.

"Jo, what the hell are we gonna do?!" Roy sobbed.

"Honey, we have our savings." Joanne offered. "And I have my training as a nurse."

"Honey, you don't have to go back to work. I'll find something, even if it pays minimum wage." Roy assured his wife. "I don't want my kids raised by day care centers."

"Roy, what if you don't find something?" Joanne worried. "What do we do then? Go on Welfare?"

Roy suddenly shoved his wife away, violently.

"I won't let that happen!" Roy suddenly screamed. "I'll be damned if I have my family living on a monthly Welfare check!"

"Roy, Honey-"Jo stammered as she realized what she'd just done. "I didn't mean to imply-"

"What?!" Roy growled. "That because you're better educated, you can support us?! Old Roy lost his job, start writing the Welfare Check! Enroll the kids in their school's free lunch program!"

"Roy, I never meant-" Jo tried again, but to no avail.

"I know what you meant!" Roy raged. "You think that I can't provide for us anymore, so it's on to Welfare! I'd rather die first!"

"Roy!" Jo gasped.

"I'm just a lazy bum to you!" Roy yelled. "You and your bitchy mother!"

Jo slapped Roy's face, hard. His eyes widened in shock.

"Roy Alan DeSoto, don't you ever talk about my mother that way again!" Joanne yelled. "My mother is a wonderful, strong woman! She raised me and my sister by herself! She didn't want or need father's help!"

"Is that what you want?!" Roy countered, just as angrily. "You want to be a single parent, that can be arranged!"

Roy stomped upstairs to the bedroom, grabbed a suitcase and packed a few days worth of clothes. Roy then carried his things downstairs.

"Sweetie, don't go!" Jo pleaded. "I'm sorry if I hurt you!"

"Jo, just don't." Roy answered. "Let me ask you something. Is it so wrong for me to want to provide for you and the kids? Is it wrong for me to want my family to want for nothing? What
ever happened to a man taking care of his wife?"

"There's nothing wrong with any of that." Jo soothed.

"If that's the case, why do you women want to work?" Roy softly asked. "Why do you all want to hurt men's pride?"

With that, Roy walked out the front door as his wife cried.

 ****

END PART 7: Food Fiasco