Copyright: August 2000 By Robin R. Neher

THIS STORY IS WRITTEN FOR PLEASURE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO INFRINGE ON ANY PREEXISTING COPYRIGHTS THAT MAY BE VIOLATED.

FEEL FREE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS, BUT NOT FOR PROFIT.

THIS STORY IS FICTIONAL, A WORK OF THE WRITER'S IMAGINATION. THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS USED IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FICTIONAL AND ARE NOT BASED ON ANY PERSON AND/OR PERSON'S ACTUAL EXPERIENCES.

Title: Hank's Test

Author: Robin R. Neher

Rating: R

Pairing: N/A

Archive: Yes

Summary: Hank fails his Chief's test and he blames the crew at 51's.

Content Warning: HANKY ALERT!!! Harsh Language.

HANK'S TEST

By Robin R Neher

Hank Stanley was angry, very angry and the crew at station 51 knew why as they stood in line for roll call. Hank had still not emerged from his office and Roy was worried. So leaving the line, Roy made his way to the office and knocked on the door.

"What the hell do you want?!" Hank growled, not looking up from the reports he was filling out.

"Cap, those men out there have been standing in line for two hours, waiting for roll call!" Roy yelled.

"Roy, you deal with them from now on, you and Stoker!" Hank snapped. "You're a dad, discipline those babies! The station is yours!"

"Cap," Roy protested.

"DeSoto, as long as they don't burn the station down, I don't care what they do anymore, just as long as I don't have to deal with it!" Hank yelled. "Johnny can play his damn trombone or whatever he plays as loud as he wants for all I care! Kelly can have free run with his jokes on Gage for all I care! Gage is just a klutz anyway!"

Roy stood in shock as his Captain continued work on reports. Roy knew that Hank had recently taken his Chief's test and scored 80th. Roy knew Hank was not happy.

"Hank, I know you're upset about the exam, but there's always next year." Roy said in an attempt to soothe his commander. "You know nobody passes the first time out anyway."

"Roy, I just can't do it anymore! I can no longer command a bunch of guys that have no respect for my authority! Gage seems to have a death wish while Kelly fancies himself a clown. Lopez seems to think he's a chef while Stoker seems to want to be a mime!"

****************

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Hank's rage was being felt by the remaining four as they listened to his words. Johnny Gage felt it most, Hank's words burrowing deep into his soul. Mike Stoker was just as stunned by the unkind words his Captain was saying to Roy.

"Maybe we did cause Cap to fail his Chief's test." Johnny whispered.

"Yeah," Chet Kelly agreed, sullenly. "His first command. Some troops we are! Leading us is like leading a kindergarten class."

"Speak for yourself!" Mike griped. "Some Engineer I was!"

"And I just had to have my long hair that is against regs!" Johnny added. "We made Hank look lousy as a Captain!"

**************

Back in the office, Roy listened as Hank raged on.

"What the hell did I become a Captain for?! Seems like the whole thing's a waste of time!" Hank raged. "Why do stations need Captains or Chiefs anyway? We're all just a bunch of figure heads! We're all just glorified desk jockeys!"

"Hank, listen to me!" Roy pleaded. "Those men need you out there! Chiefs come a dime a dozen, but we need Captains here too! Why do you want to be a Chief so bad anyway? Why not just enjoy being a Captain? Chiefs do nothing but fill out reports all day and oversee fires! When was the last time you saw Chief McConikee enter a burning building?"

Hank chuckled at the thought of his superior doing just that.

"Hank, you've only been a Captain for two years. Why not just enjoy where you are and let things happen naturally? There's not even any openings for a Chief now. Hank, we need you right here." Roy told him.

Hank rose from his seat, knowing Roy was right.

"Where are Gage and the rest?" Cap asked.

"In the kitchen." Roy replied as he followed Hank out of the office and into the kitchen. Roy's eyes widened when he saw Johnny, standing over the kitchen sink, scissors in one hand, hair clipper in the other.

Hair covered the counter and the floor and also clogged the sink

"My God, Johnny!" Roy shrieked as he ran over to his partner and took the hair cutting tools away. "Why, Junior, why?"

Johnny just took the tools back from Roy and returned to work. Hank just watched what the young medic was doing in disbelief. Pretty soon, Johnny turned off the shaver and turned to face Cap.

"This what you want, Captain? Does this fall within regulations?" Johnny asked as Hank stared at his now bald head as did Roy.

Chet came into the room just then as did Marco.

"Marco, what's for lunch, Pal?" Hank asked.

"Whatever you can find." Marco answered as he walked toward the apparatus bay.

"Chet, what's going on here?" Hank demanded.

"Why whatever do you mean?" Chet replied. "We're just being perfect little fireman for you. Soldiers at your command who won't even so much as sneeze without your okay."

Hank watched as Mike Stoker then entered the kitchen.

"Fall in!" Mike commanded.

All the guys ran to get in line.

"Captain Stanley, Sir! Station fifty-one awaits your orders!" Mike barked as the tones sounded.

Squad 51, man trapped, Rampart General hospital. Time out: 12:02

"Permission to leave post, Sir?" Johnny asked of Mike.

"Granted." Mike replied.

Roy and Johnny ran to the squad and sped out of the station toward Rampart.

****************

After freeing the victim, Roy and Johnny went to see Dixie at the nurse's station. Dixie cringed when she saw Johnny's head.

"Johnny, what in God's name did you do?" Dix asked.

"Shaved my head." Johnny replied, matter-of factly. "You like?"

"No! You look like Jackie Coogan on the Addams Family!" Dix hissed. "What on earth possessed you to do such a thing?!"

"That's what I'd like to know!" Roy agreed. "All of 51's has gone nuts since Cap took his Chief's test."

"He did? How'd he do?" Dixie asked, shielding her eyes against the glare of Johnny's head off the ER lights. "Johnny, your head is blinding me!"

"Sorry, Dix." Johnny smiled, pulling on his helmet.

"Hank is not happy. He scored 80th." Roy replied.

"There's always next year." Dix replied, sympathetically.

"Tell that to Hank." Roy smiled as he turned to leave.

Johnny started to follow Roy out, but Roy stopped him.

"Uh, uh, you stay here until your hair grows back. I'd wreck the squad with the glare your head is giving off." Roy told Johnny. "I'll work with Brice til your hair grows back."

"But-" Johnny protested as Roy walked out to the squad. "What am I supposed to do now?"

Dixie tapped Johnny on the shoulder and pointed to a stack of bedpans that needed emptying.

"Thanks alot, Dix!" Johnny said as he took the bedpans to be scrubbed.

"Anytime, Johnny." Dix smiled wickedly as Johnny watched Roy leave without him in the squad.

**************

Two hours later, Johnny had the bedpans cleaned, so he went to talk to Dix in the lounge. Before entering, Johnny again put on his fire helmet to prevent glare from the overhead lights.

Boy, this is the stupidest thing I've done to date! Johnny thought as he opened the lounge door.

"Can I come in?" Johnny grinned at Dixie, who sat smoking a cigarette on the couch.

"As long as you keep that head of yours covered." Dix replied, between puffs on her smoke. "Now, John Roderick Gage, You will tell me why you shaved your head. What would make you do something so moronic?"

Johnny shut the door and sat down across from Dix on the other couch.

"Dix, it's Hank." Johnny sighed. "When he found out he failed his Chief's test, he went berserk. He was yelling so loud at Roy that we all heard him in the kitchen. He said he wondered why he became A captain! He said that he could no longer command us "Babies."

"Did Cap say something that hurt you?" Dix asked.

"He said I was a klutz and that I deserved the jokes Chet played on me." Johnny replied. "It's our fault he failed that test! We were holy terrors to him! Me and my stupid long hair!"

"Johnny, is that why you shaved your hair? Because of a few angry words?" Dix asked. "Honey, your hair was well within department regs. Hank was just venting his frustration over not passing the exam! He didn't mean to hurt you guys!"

"Tell that to the other guys. They're all pretty upset too." Johnny replied.

"Well, we're gonna go fix that right now! C'mon, let's get to 51's!" Dix demanded, grabbing Johnny's hand and dragging him out of the lounge and the ER before he could protest.

**************

Arriving at station fifty-one twenty minutes later, Dix dragged John into the bay.

"Captain Henry Stanley, get your skinny ass out here...NOW!!!" Dix commanded.

Hank ran into the bay along with the rest of the crew.

"Fireman Stanley, front and center!!!" An angry Dix ordered.

Hank swallowed as he made his way to the front of the bay and stood in front of Dixie and Johnny.

"Take off your Captain's Bars!!!" Dix demanded, holding out her hand.

Hank took the bars off his lapel and handed them to the nurse, who then pinned them on Mike Stoker's lapel.

"Dix-" Hank protested.

"Shut up!!!" Dix yelled. "Your words have done enough damage today!!! These men heard your little temper tantrum earlier!!! John, take off your hat! Show Hank what his hurtful words made you do!"

**************

Johnny took off his helmet. Hank started crying.

"Well, well, will you all look at your leader now?! He's blubbering like a baby!" Johnny taunted. "Why are we crying, Baby Hank?"

Hank just sobbed as John and Dix glared at him.

"Now you know how these men felt when they heard your words!" Dixie tormented. "Hank, were you thinking at all when you said those awful things?!"

Hank just cried harder as the torment continued.

"So you failed your exam, BIG DEAL!" John yelled. "That didn't give you the right to lash out at us! Hank, there's always next year!"

Hank tried to stammer out something through his tears.

"You have something to say, Stanley?" Johnny demanded. "C'mon, speak up, Boy!"

"I'm sorry!" Hank blubbered. "I'm so sorry!"

"Sure you are!" Johnny sneered. "I think you need a reminder of what it's like to be a lowly fireman under the command of someone else!"

"I agree!" Yelled Chief McConikee as he too entered the bay. "Hank, Johnny called me about your little outburst! Your behavior was not only unbecoming a Captain, but just plain unprofessional as well! As of now, you are demoted to Firefighter!"

"Sir, that's not fair!" Hank argued.

"I don't care what you think right now!" McConikee bellowed. "You are to report immediately to headquarters for reassignment!"

"Yes, Sir!" Hank sobbed. "Sir, I said some things I shouldn't have, but I don't deserve to lose everything I worked for over this!"

"Hank, if one of these men had done what you did, what would you have done?" The Chief asked.

"The same thing you're doing." Hank admitted. "Sir, how can I redeem myself?"

McConikee thought it over before answering.

"I'll tell you what, if you can do a good job as a fireman for two weeks, I may let you have your bars back. You must pass the Captain's test again to get them, however." The Chief replied.

"Yes, Sir! I'll do anything you ask!" Hank sobbed. "I won't take the Chief's test again if you wish!"

"I wish just that." McConikee replied. "I don't ever want to see your name on the list for the Chief's test again."

*************

"Wait a minute, Chief." Dix stepped in. "I think Hank should remain right here and be subject to these men. I think the humiliation will do him good."

"I quite agree." McConikee smiled, wickedly. "Your new Captain is Captain Gage. I think you both need to see how the other half lives. Maybe you'll both learn from this."

"Stanley, you will be treated just like a boot from now on. Go get your trash out of my office!" John told him.

"Yes, Sir!" Hank Barked. "Captain Gage-"

"Hank, I don't want a verbal apology from you. I want a written one that you will read to the guys. I want it by end of shift." Johnny ordered.

"Yes, Sir." Hank replied.

"I also want something it it about the kind of example you set and your inappropriate behavior, understand?" John asked.

"Yes, Sir." Hank replied.

"Dismissed." Johnny told him.

Hank saluted, then left the kitchen.

***************

Hours later, Hank sat in the day room after lights out, reflecting on his actions earlier that day.

"Can't sleep?" Johnny asked, coming in with a glass of milk.

"I screwed up, Didn't I?" Hank asked. "I messed up my career and my life in one thoughtless move! I'll never be a Chief now!"

"Probably not." John agreed.

"I always thought I'd be a Chief by now." Hank sighed. "I thought I'd be in command of several stations."

"Hank, that's not gonna happen now." Johnny told him.

"Where do I go now?" Hank wondered.

part six soon