Title: Roy, begin again

Author: Robin R. Neher

Status: Complete

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: N/A

Archive: Yes

Fandom: Emergency!

Summary: Roy DeSoto faces picking up the pieces of his life in the follow up to "When time ran out"

Content Warning: Some harsh Language. Hanky Alert!!!!

Roy, Begin Again
by Robin R. Neher

Empty. That's how his life felt now, Empty. Roy DeSoto felt so alone now. Everything he'd loved, everything that mattered was gone, never to return.

"It's been six months, right?" The doctor asked.

"That's right." Roy nodded. "Six months of hell."

"Why hell?" The doc prompted.

"How would you describe watching everything you love walk away from you?" Roy asked. "My wife and kids were everything to me. They were the reason I worked all those extra hours."

"Let's talk about your job." The shrink encouraged. "What kind of hours we talking about in your line of work?"

"In my department, it's twenty-four on, forty-eight off." Roy began. "The salary for a Fireman is about six hundred dollars a week."

"Low pay, long hours, little appreciation." The Doc remarked. "Sounds like the perfect job."

"It's not that bad really. I love being a Fireman/Paramedic. You really have to love the job in order to do it. I guess I loved mine a little too much." Roy realized. "That's why I'm no longer married now."

"How do you feel about that now that the divorce is final?" The doctor asked.

"It's all so strange." Roy admitted. "I've never lived alone until now. I joined the Army after high school. I did two years in Germany as a medic. There, I lived with my barracks mates. There was a lady we paid to make our beds, clean the barracks, do laundry, etc. The Army told you when to eat, sleep, etc."

"And when you married?" The doc prompted as she wrote on a note pad.

"I admit I never made a move without asking Joanne." Roy replied. "She managed the money and did it well."

"So, in a nutshell, you've never had to take care of yourself and your needs til now." The doc summed up.

"I haven't." Roy admitted. "I had it easy most of my life, til now."

"What's different now that you're on your own?" The doc wanted to know.

"Everything. It's hardest on me at night, especially when I'm off duty. I've been asleep and reached out to hold my wife, only to grab empty sheets. I wake up and find myself holding her picture sometimes. I have to remind myself that Joanne is my ex wife." Roy said. "I'm now what I've always said is the worst thing for a Fireman. I always said that the worst thing a Fireman can have is a wife who doesn't care. Now that we're divorced, I'm just like Johnny. I have nobody now."

"No family?"

Roy shook his sandy head.

"My mother and father died years ago and I'm an only child." Roy told the doc. "You know what Johnny, Chet, Mike and Marco are doing for me? Johnny has organized a no date moth for them in support of me."

"You mean none of them are dating?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Nope. They said that until I start dating, they won't date anyone." Roy smiled. "I think they're doing it so as not to hurt me."

As Roy finished speaking, a timer on a nearby table sounded.

"Our hour's up, Roy. We'll pick this up next week." The doc said.

"Kay." Roy pasted on a smile, then got up to leave.

"Roy?" The doc called. "Just take it on day at a time."

As Roy left the office, he knew he had a long road ahead. He knew that picking up the pieces of his life would take a long time.

THE END