Title: I Learned To Lie

Author/pseudonym: Angel Grace

Fandom: Alien Nation

Pairing: Buck Francisco/?

Rating: PG

Status: complete

Archive: WWOMB, Ffnet, other, no cookies ‘til you ask.

Feedback: Yes, si, da, oui, Ja,…

Series/Sequel: Standalone, possible tie-in to an WIP-series (unposted).

Disclaimers: Don’t know them, don’t own them, wouldn’t know what to do with them if I had them.

Summary: Buck has a crush. His POV

Disclaimer: Don’t know them, don’t own them, wouldn’t know what to do with them if I had them.

Distribution: No cookies till you ask! (I shared with ff and WOMB)

I Learned To Lie

By Angel Grace

You thought me.

Oh, I know you didn’t mean to, but how could I not? You’re all I ever wanted, all I ever needed. But I’ll

never have you. This world, this society that is so human won’t allow me to join with you.

How I would love for you to touch my temples, just once. Maybe hum a little? But no, that’s not your way. I’m as strange to you as you are to me. I wonder, is it because of my age you don’t notice me, or because of my spots? They sure seem to fascinate you humans.

No, no generalisations. You’re not a part of ‘you humans’, you’re unique. Why don’t you see that

yourself? You seem so sad sometimes. I see it in your eyes. That’s one thing our people have in common: eyes are the windows to the soul. How I’d wish that your soul could call to me, but what do you really see? A boy, I’m sure, and one with a bad attitude at that.

But how can I be nice when I know that the minute I let my guard down, my feelings will be clear to the

world. Because they will be. If I forget, only once, that I’m supposed to hate every single human, I’ll be

on my knees in front of you, begging for you to accept me. I can just imagine the shocked stares that would evoke. But it wouldn’t just be shock I’d see in your eyes, would it? Repulsion perhaps, disgust that I could even harbour these feelings, maybe even pity.

I couldn’t handle that. Hate, anger, sure, but please no pity. I’d rather throw myself in the ocean than

face you pitying me.

All I want to do is touch you. Hold you. Be close to you. But that’s yet another lie. It won’t be enough.

It won’t be until you take me in, body and soul, so ‘I’ no longer exists, only ‘we’.

It won’t happen.

So I learned to lie.

The end.