Promises Broken, Feelings Unspoken

written by NemKess

Nemkess@GWfanficwriter.every1.net

pairing: Dylan/Harper

Summary: Dylan has a secret that throws Harper into a tailspin

warnings: slash but no sex... sorry, I just can't write it. possible spoilers for 'Bunker Hill'

Promises Broken, Feelings Unspoken
written by NemKess

"Harper, are you busy?"

The sound of Rommie's voice right behind him nearly made Seamus Harper, engineer extraordinaire, jump right into the circuits he was working on. With a disgruntled sigh, he untangled himself, pushed up his work goggles, and turned to face her.

The young human would be the first to admit that Rommie was a babe. Hell, he'd made the avatar version himself and had carefully crafted every female fantasy he'd ever had into her. It helped that the Commonwealth had given him such good material to work with. As far as he'd seen, all their AI's were knockouts.

But there was a time to disturb an engineer and there was a time to leave him alone.

"Yes, Rommie. I'm busy. Why?" He shifted from foot to foot, uncomfortable with standing still for even short periods of time.

The avatar looked uneasy herself for a moment before the hologram popped up. "We need to show you something important, Harper. But it could be considered slightly unethical."

Both of them suppressed a groan as the nearby screen flickered and the ship itself responded. "There is no consideration involved. They want to help you spy on Dylan and learn something he doesn't wish you to know. It is highly unethical."

Now that certainly perked his interest. Something Rommie thought he should know but the boss man didn't? He couldn't even begin to guess what it might be. He and Dylan Hunt, the captain of the Andromeda Ascendant, hadn't exactly been on the best of terms ever since the older man -much, much, much older, Harper thought snidely-had broken a promise to him and his cousin and the other humans stuck on the hellhole that was known as Earth had paid the price. Dylan had done something that Seamus Zelazany Harper had thought could never be done again. He'd given Seamus hope- real, honest to goodness hope- and then turned around and crushed it.

It had been a well-timed if overly severe reminder of a lesson learned in childhood. Don't believe in anything but yourself, cuz in the end that's all you had.

"It's not unethical," the avatar ground out. "Harper deserves to know and I think Dylan would feel better if he didn't have to hide it anymore."

"If Dylan wished Harper to know, then he would tell him. Obviously he doesn't." The ship's image looked as cross as Harper had ever seen it.

The hologram appeared to sigh before gesturing for silence from both her counterparts. "We'll let Harper decide."

All three gazed at him and Seamus shifted nervously. "Um.. Well.. I'd kinda like to know... I think." After all, how bad could it be? It wasn't as if Dylan was going to drop him onto a Magog infested world or let Tyr use him for target practice. He was too valuable a member of the crew.

Andromeda glared at them and blinked out of existence.

"She isn't going to tell, is she?"

"No, Harper. She just wants it on the record that she had no part in it if we're caught." Rommie caught his arm and pulled him along behind her. "I'm going to get him to talk to me about this and you're going to be hiding in the ventilation shaft above his quarters. If you have difficulty with what you hear, then you can just pretend that you didn't hear it."

"Or, you can decide to do something about it. The point is, Harper, that you have the choice."

Rubbing his free hand through his blonde spikes, he considered that. "Uh.. okay. Choice is good."

He wondered what could be so important that two thirds of the most powerful warship in the galaxy was willing to rat on it's captain.

As Rommie pushed him up into the shaft system, he figured he was about to find out.

~*~*~

"Please don't tell me you're here to talk about that again, Rommie." The absolute weariness in Dylan's voice was a surprise to Harper. When he was among the crew, Hunt tended to try to push a Captain Terrific sort of image, and the younger man had to admit that he bought into it more frequently than he should.

"Dylan, Harper deserves to know. You can't make decisions like this for him."

Instant alertness filled the lithe body that was tucked up and out of sight. Damn right Dylan shouldn't be making decisions for him.

"You know him better than anyone on the ship except Beka. Do you honestly think he'd welcome that from me?" The tall, brawny captain interrupted before the AI could get a word in edgewise. "No, he wouldn't. Rommie, he's avoided me ever since that damned debacle with the Saber-Jaguar and Earth. He hates me and I don't blame him. I'm damned sure not going to lay my problems onto him. I'll deal with it."

"How do you know he'd see it as a problem? I don't think you're giving him enough credit, Dylan."

Sighing, Dylan sat back down into the seat he'd vacated at the avatar's entrance and ran both hands through his hair. "Rommie.... I know you think I'm wrong. I accept that." He stared hard at the wall before turning back to her. "In the last two years, have you ever seen any indication that he'd be interested in this?"

Rommie shifted. "Well, no, but I've never seen any indication that he'd be against it either."

<<Well come on already>>, Harper thought. <<Tell me what the hell you're talking about>>.

"And have you seen any indication that he doesn't hold me personally accountable for whatever might have happened to his cousin? What did happen to the others on Earth?"

The engineer's obvious avoidance of his captain had been remarked on by every other member of the crew, including Tyr. When being in the same room was unavoidable, Harper spent the whole time snapping or making digs designed with the sole intent to make Dylan feel like shit. Apparently, it had worked better than he'd thought. There was no way Rommie could put a positive spin on that one.

"I don't even have his friendship anymore. Telling him this would only give him more ammunition to shred me with. Thank you, but despite what the rest of the crew and the universe in general thinks, I'm not a masochist. So, no thanks."

<<What the hell is it?!>> Harper shifted uncomfortably while forcing down the urge to drop into the room and throttle the answer out of the pair.

"Dylan.. Harper may come off as this flaky genius who just rolls with the punches and keeps coming back for more, but you and I both know he's not as tough as he acts. He doesn't just deserve to know, I think he needs to. The reason you not showing up at Earth upset him so much wasn't because someone broke another promise to him. I get the feeling he's used to it. And I don't think it's all because of his cousin." She glared at her captain. "It's because it was you. Because you mean so much to him and it broke his heart to realize you weren't infallible."

Dylan rubbed his eyes with his fists, a gesture which made him look oddly young and more vulnerable. The absolute misery in his face took Harper's breath away and kept him from making any indignant protests against what Rommie was saying.

"Explain to me how telling him that I love him and think he's got a great ass is going to make any of that better?"

Rommie cleared her throat to cover up the gasp that floated down from the vent. When it was quiet again, she answered softly. "It might not. But Dylan, both of you deserve the chance."

"I wish sometimes, that Harper hadn't made you quite so free-thinking and human-like." The faint smile on his face negated his words, but was gone quickly. "I won't burden him with this, Rommie. Besides which, he's a crew member and I'm the captain. He'd be within his rights to have me up on charges if we were still in the old Commonwealth."

"But we aren't Dylan. And crew or not, he's not High Guard. You're the only one who can say what's wrong or right for this crew. You and the others."

"Which still leaves us with a heterosexual, young genius who hates my guts."

"Well," Rommie looked prim as she turned to go. "I didn't say I had all the answers."

Dylan sat there, staring at the door for several long minutes before sighing. "No you didn't. Which is why it's better not to say anything at all."

Harper continued to watch for a bit more before moving backwards as quietly as he'd come.

He had a few things to think about.

~*~*~

"Well, did we make a mistake?"

The hologram was on him before he'd even made it all the way in his own quarters. "I don't know, Rommie. It's a lot to take in. I mean, the very idea that Captain Commonwealth himself loves me? A nobody from Earth with heavy insubordination tendencies?" He gestured wide with his hands. "It boggles the mind."

And then of course, there was the ass comment. Dylan Hunt, the man with the body of a greek god, thought his ass was great? Mind-boggling didn't even begin to cover it.

"How long?"

Andromeda didn't even pretend that she didn't understand. "He was attracted from the beginning. The other snuck up on over time as he got to know you."

"Is it why he jumped on the wagon to save Earth? Even if he did bail before the end?"

"Harper, you have to understand, not being in time to keep his promise to you hurt him as deeply as it did you. Left up to him, he'd have dumped the Saber-Jaguar on their collective rear ends and just taken the whole crew to Earth instead of sending you on ahead. He has had to fight with himself on every decision that he's made in the last year or so. His first instinct is always to do whatever would be best to protect you. Sometimes he overcompensates. He did the same thing to Sara. Frequently." Her expression was as earnest as she could make it. "She said it was one of his noblest and most annoying character traits."

He could see that. On the one hand, it was nice to know someone cared enough to worry about you. On the other hand, it was a damn nuisance that that person's conscience demanded he not be swayed by those emotions.

Hunt had come back to the present rather than stay in the past with Sara even though it had nearly killed him to do so. But, Seamus remembered, Dylan had been perfectly willing to leave Hohne dead to let him live. Oh sure, he'd left the actual decision up to Harper himself, but the very fact that Dylan hadn't destroyed the machine without asking first spoke for itself.

Dylan wanted him to live.

Dylan wanted him, full stop.

The question was, could he let a broken promise go? Could he accept what Dylan had to offer?

As she had with the Captain, Rommie left him to stew in it for a while.

~*~*~

"Hey, Beka? Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Yeah, sure Harper. Whacha need?" the taller blonde looped her arm over his shoulders and guided him down the hall.

Harper's thought's jumped around as he tried to think of a subtle way to ask. A way that would help him figure this thing out without letting the cat out of the bag. In the end, he knew there was no such way. He'd just have to deal with any fall out or teasing that his friend felt like dishing out. "I need your advice."

That perked Beka right up and her expression turned gleeful. "Ohh. This sounds interesting."

He elbowed her, lightly. "This is serious Beka."

She straightened out and gave him a long look before nodding solemnly and leading him to the Maru. Once they were safely ensconced on the little ship and out of the way of prying ears, she gave him her full attention. "Okay. I'm listening."

He was a little hesitant, but in real need so he forged ahead bravely. "I have it on good authority that Dylan is in love with me."

Beka didn't even blink. She just raised her brows and nodded her head. "Yeah, so?"

"So?!" Harper's voice began to rise. "I tell you that our captain, a man, is in love with me, also a man and all you can say is so?!"

"Harper, you're not homophobic so I don't see the problem here."

"The problem is that it's ~Dylan~!"

"Seamus," she took his elbows and forced him to sit down on one of the bunks. "Dylan Hunt is a gorgeous, generous, and all around great guy. I still don't see a problem here.. Unless you still blame him for Earth and I thought you understood that."

"He promised to be there! All those people died because he sent me with that promise!" He sniffled and rubbed his face before any tears could escape.

With a sigh, she pulled him against her. When he resisted, she put a hand against the back of his head and forced the issue. "It wasn't your fault, Seamus. It wasn't his. If you have to have someone to blame, blame the Dragan-Kazo or the Saber-Jaguar. Or hell, blame the whole damn Nieztschean race. They're the ones that deserve it.. Not you and not Dylan. Besides, I've never seen you hold a grudge. Even when you should." Some of his tension melted as she petted his spiky hair. "Right up until the end, we thought we'd make it there in time. When we got the word that it was too late, Dylan looked like he'd been sucker punched."

"Really?" He'd be embarrassed about how needy his voice sounded some other time.

"Yes, Harper. You know he'd never break a promise to anyone at all was within his power."They sat in silence for a few more minutes, the only sound that of their breathing and the only movement that of Beka's hand through his hair. "I'm not at all surprised to find out that he loves you, I think I probably already knew. You can tell in the way he looks at you." she declared out of the blue. "And I think you two would be good for each other."

"Really?" Harper was glad to see he sounded more like himself this time. He decided Beka was right. He wasn't one to hold grudges and holding this one was starting to give him migraines.

"Really. Now go tell him." She helped him up and pushed him towards the exit. "And remember, Harper. I want details."

A lot more cheerful than he'd been an hour before, he grinned and flipped her off as he left.

~*~*~

"Enter."

<<You can do this,>> he thought to himself. <<You are Seamus Zelazany Harper. You are fearless. You are Seamus Zelazany Harper. You can do this.>>

He was deep enough into his mantra not to hear the door slide open. "Were you planning on standing out here all night or was there something you needed to discuss with me?"

The wry humor in Dylan's voice kept Harper from snapping at him.

"Umm.. I needed to talk to you."

One sandy colored eyebrow rose and, cocking his head to the side, Dylan motioned towards the room. "Well, be my guest."

Stepping through the door, Harper made sure to brush up against his companion and was gratified to see Dylan's eyes and jaw clench. It was nice to see the other man affected; he'd almost decided that he'd just hallucinated the whole talk with Rommie. One too many Sparky Cola's or something.

"So.. What did you need to talk about? Is there a problem?" Trust Captain Terrific to get right down to business as if he hadn't just been discussing love and sex less than two and a half hours ago.

"No.. well, I don't think so anyways." Harper bounced up onto his toes a few times before he started pacing around the room. Dylan stood in the middle and turned to keep the shorter man in sight as he veered around from one side to the other several times. "I heard something. And I don't think it's a problem.. well, I did. But then I talked to Beka and you know, sometimes she actually gives decent advice, so then I decided that it wasn't a problem that it was actually a good thing. And of course, Rommie thinks it's a good thing. I don't' know about Tyr since I didn't ask him and I'm not gonna, but since you're involved I can't do that with you and-"

"Harper." One strong hand wrapped itself around his bicep while the other covered his mouth. "Slow down. Make sense. Please."

Seamus nodded and took a deep Dylan-scented breath. Cautiously, the hands were removed. "It's like this. I know how you feel about me, Dylan."

The big body was suddenly strung tighter than a bow-string. "I'm going to dismantle Rommie, piece by piece."

"No! no.. It wasn't her fault, D." Greatly daring, Harper lay both his hands on Dylan's chest and gave his most imploring, 'please-believe-me-I'd-never-lie-in-a-million-years' look. "I was doing maintenance in one of the vents while she was talking to you earlier. Both the other Rommie's told me to do it later, you were in an important meeting, but I ignored them."

Dylan rolled his eyes, obviously disbelieving.

"Honest Injun. Besides, I'm glad I heard."

This time, the disbelief was tinged ever so faintly with hope and for the first time, Harper could see what Beka had seen. What Rommie had always been able to see. Love.

Dylan Hunt really did love him. Was in love with him.

It was a heady feeling and one that Seamus Zelazany Harper was more than happy to revel in.

"Are you?"

"I am." Harper looked down at where his hands rested as Dylan's came up to cover them. "I can't say that I love you, Dylan. I don't even know if I know how."

"I could teach you." The hesitation in Dylan's voice could have broken Harper's heart if he'd dwelled on it. Despite what had happened on Earth, he'd always held firm in his belief that Dylan was a hero. And hero's should never sound that uncertain.

Slipping one hand out from under the bigger one's that held him, Harper reached up and wrapped it around the back of his captain's neck. He pulled downwards while standing on his toes to meet Dylan halfway.

The kiss was as sweet as he'd ever imagined a kiss could be. It was different, kissing a guy, but Harper found nothing to complain about. Except maybe the height difference.

They still had to talk, he knew. It wouldn't do to let things fester between them and the whole broken promise thing was still somthing they needed to come to terms with. But at least they were moving forward.

For now, it was enough.

END