TITLE: Perchance To Dream

AUTHOR: Rebecca Parker

EMAIL: Buffonian@aol.com or QueenOfCretins@aol.com

RATING: Nc-17

CONTENT: M/M. Angel/Doyle.

SUMMARY: Its a lonely Valentines Day for Angel, who tries to sleep it away...little does he know how exciting his dreams can be.

FEEDBACK: Yes Please! This is going to be a horrific Valentines Day for me, as always and I could appreciate some feedback love :)

DISTRIBUTION: Ask and ye shall receive

DEDICATION: To Charles, my Angel Slash muse...this is for you, me dear! An answer to your Valentines Day challenge on AngelSlash (click here to subscribe)

I used to hate to dream. I would close my eyes and dread the act. Dreaming was one of those things that I had no control over and that scared me. I'm big on control. Always have been.

I was the one that left Sunnydale. I was the one that said goodbye to Buffy, the one that decided that enough was enough. Control was a big part of my life and I hated giving it up in order to sleep.

But there was no other choice. There wasn't much I could do about it. I needed to be awake to help the hopeless. There were already far too many long nights when I would stay up and stare at her picture. Buffy. I had given up control with her...gave in to the passion that consumed us and had paid the price. I would never be so careless again. If it meant never being with another, so be it.

I lay down and closed my eyes, wanting so badly not to dream. But I deserved it. My dreams...my nightmares were the price I had to pay for the acts I had committed. The acts Angelus had committed.

Tonight of all nights, I just wanted to sleep peacefully....my mind empty. Cordelia had been miserable and it had rubbed off on me. February 14. Such an awful day created by evil corporations. Who couldn't help but think about loves lost? I couldn't. And as I felt my consciousness fade, I knew tonight he would be there in my dreams.

*****

"Angel," he said, his voice floating in the air above me. I was lying there...somewhere, my flesh exposed to the chilly air. I wanted to open my eyes and see him but I was afraid that if I did I would realize it was a dream and he was gone. A dream within a dream, if that was possible.

"Doyle?" I felt myself saying. Why did I say that? I didn't want to. "Is that you?", I asked, my eyes flying open, taking in the sight of him. He was there. My heart, had it still been beating, would have leapt out of my chest at the sight of him.

It had only been a few months and yet I felt like it had been forever since I had seen him. Before I knew it I had jumped to my feet, my arms encircling his body, pulling his clothed body to my naked chest. "Doyle," I said again. "Oh God...I..I missed you so much," I felt myself saying. Damnit...why was I being so emotional? I didn't want to cry but could feel myself doing it nonetheless. I wanted my control back but didn't want this moment to end as well.

"I know Angel," he said. "I've been watching over ya. I never meant to cause ya such pain," he said, his hand reaching out and touching my cheek. "I never knew ya felt that way 'bout me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how. I still don't. But...you saw...you know how I feel now."

"That I do," he said, smiling as his lips pressed to mine. "And I can see 'ow you feel about me as well. I can even feel it," he said as his hand reached down and took hold of my erection.

I groaned as he let his fingers slide along my length and I looked at him, taking in the sight of those green eyes I had been so sure I would never see again.

"Doyle...I don't know," I said, my eyes closing as I felt myself grow hard at his touch...a touch I had desired for a long time before I had even been able to admit it to myself.

"What's the matter Angel? This is your dream. Its Valentine's Day and you want to be with me or else I wouldn't be 'ere," Doyle said, his lips connecting with the base of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"I do," I said, my eyes opening to see Doyle's body moving down mine. "It's just...the curse," I said, hardly believing I had the presence of mind to speak a coherent sentence as Doyle's mouth neared my erection.

"It's a dream Angel," Doyle said, his eyes looking up at me as his hand encircled my shaft. "Its not reality. I could give you all the perfect happiness you desire and not a thing'll change," he said, leaning over and taking the tip of my cock into his mouth.

"Oh God," I said, throwing my head back as Doyle took more of me into his mouth. "But what if.." I started to say.

"What if nothing man," Doyle said and I automatically regretted that I said anything as his mouth had to leave my erection to speak. "Now shut your trap and let me do what I do best," he said, my dick once again entering his mouth.

My hands went down to his head, my fingers entwining with the strands of his hair. "Thank you," I said, hoping Doyle didn't let go of me to say I was welcome. Thankfully he did not and before I knew it, I felt myself reaching the edge, my orgasm approaching faster than I would like.

"Oh God," I said again. "Doyle..I'm gonna...," I said, feeling myself lose the control I cherished so much in reality, my seed filling his mouth which did not leave its task.

After he had swallowed all of my cum, convincing me once and for all that this was indeed a dream, and one hell of one at that, Doyle got off of his knees and stood face to face in front of me again.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't know why I came so quickly. I usually last longer than that, I promise," I said, trying to explain something that I could not even explain to myself.

"It's a dream Angel. They don't last long themselves. Everything's sped up. Its not you," he said, his lips finding mine again.

"Then how much longer will this last?", I asked, dreading the answer.

"About 2 more seconds," he said, his lips cruelly forming into a smile.

"2 seconds?", I asked, beginning to freak out although I quickly realized that the aforementioned 2 seconds had already past and we were still here, our bodies pressed together.

"Well, in real time dreams only last 30 seconds or so. But here...in this Dream state, maybe 10 minutes or so," he said, grinning.

"Don't scare me like that," I said. "If I wasn't already dead I would have dropped dead from the shock."

"Sorry Angel," he said, his hand flickering across my nipples. "How can I make it up to ya?", he asked, his eyes connecting with mine.

"Come back," I said, the impossible request leaving my lips before I had a chance to select that as my request.

Doyle's eyes glassed over as he took in the words that I had said. "You know I can't," he said, his voice sad. "But ya know I want to. If there was any other way I coulda.."

"Stop," I said, my voice commanding and Doyle looked up at me, a surprised look on his face. "I'm sorry but this isn't the way I want to spend those 10 minutes."

"8 minutes now," Doyle said. "Now let me ask ya again. 'ow can I make it up to ya?", he said, his lips attaching themselves to my nipples.

"I want...I want to make love to you," I said, the very idea making my cock swell once more.

"Now that's more like it Angel-boy," he said, his naked form pressing against mine. "I thought ya'd never ask. Now how do you wanna do this?", he asked.

My mind was swimming with the impossibilities of the situation. I felt my hands reach out to his skin, running my fingers along him. "I want to be inside you," I said, my voice shaking. I had never done anything like this before although I had thought about it quite a few times since meeting Doyle.

"Well I believe that can be arranged," he said, his hand reaching down and running along my dick, which had already grown back to its fully erect state. "Lets lie down on the bed, shall we?" he said.

I looked around, not remembering seeing a bed, but sure enough, there one was. "How did you do that?"

"Like I said, its a dream Angel. You can have anything ya want."

"Then in that case," I said, moving closer to him, lying him down on the bed, my body on top of him. "I want you."

"Well take me then," Doyle said, his back pressed against the mattress, his hands traveling against my chest as I reached down and took hold of my erection.

"But...I don't have anything to help with the lubrication," I said, frowning.

"Don't worry about it love," he said, smiling up at me. "We got it all covered...anything ya want," he said. "Just go for it...time's a-wasting."

That's all he needed to tell me. I knew that time was flying as I tried to build up the strength to perform this act I had wanted to do for months now. "I love you," I said, the words once again slipping out unconsciously; all control still lost to me, although I didn't mind it so much this time.

I guided my cock towards his anus, every hair on my body standing on edge as I anticipated the feeling that would soon be encompassing it. Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself inside him, surprised at the ease it took to fill him with my length.

"Are you ok?", I asked, ever the caring lover. My lips moved down to his as I pulled his legs up towards me, allowing myself a deeper penetration, a low groan escaping my throat as I waited for his response before going any further.

"Ah Jesus Angel, I'm fine...that is if ya keep going man," he said, that smile of his staring up at me, the desire in his eyes urging me to continue.

I sped up my thrusts as my lips moved down to his stomach, leaving a trail of saliva there. Our sweaty bodies rubbed against each other, the friction driving me dangerously close to orgasm again but I didn't want this moment to end so soon.

"It's ok," Doyle said, as if reading my mind. "There's not much time left," he said, his hands moving up to my face, cradling my cheek.

I couldn't help it. My body was betraying me as I felt the orgasm wash over me and my semen fill his anus. At the same moment, I felt his body tense up and the pleasant sounds of his moans filled my ears.

I collapsed on top of him, taking deep breaths I didn't need but felt the urge to take nonetheless. "That was...something I've wanted to do for a very long time. I thought I had missed my chance," I said, fighting back the urge to break into tears. He was the only one in my 244 years of life that had made me cry and I felt ashamed...ashamed that he had touched me so deeply and that his absence in my life left me feeling so empty. "Will you be back?", I asked, my eyes connecting with his once more. "I mean...here...in my dreams?"

"As long as ya want me," Doyle said, his fingers moving across my lips.

"I'll always want you," I said.

"Then I'll always be here," he said. "Forever. That's the whole point, right? Now close your eyes," he said, his voice commanding.

"Why?", I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Its time to wake up," he said, and seeing the sorrow in my eyes quickly added, "But I'll always be here. Don't forget that," he said, as he moved his hand to my eyes and pressed them shut.

"I wont," I said as I felt myself being dragged into consciousness.

My eyes opened again and I wanted to sob as I realized I was now awake, alone in my room. "Doyle," I called out, knowing there would be no answer.

I spent the rest of the day in my bed, trying to fall back asleep, needing to lie in Doyle's arms again but I couldn't. I couldn't control my sleeping patterns and I hated it.

But sleep would always come and before I knew it I would be with him again. To sleep, perchance to dream. That's all the encouragement I needed.

THE END