Title: Love On The Rocks

Author: Jenn

Email: jenn057@macconnect.com

Rating: PG 13

Archive: Yes

Comments: Please don’t beat me up, and yell at me. Like I said in the warnings. I cried too!

Warnings: No happy ending here. Grab those tissues and send Murdock lots of hugs. Sorry. Hey, I cried writing it, and I had the song playing over and over again in the background! If you’ve got it, or can find it on the computer, play it. Oh god it hurts!

Disclaimer: I don’t own the A-team or LOVE ON THE ROCKS (Neil Diamond) Written by Neil Diamond and Gilbert Becaud

Note: I’m hoping to get out of my Neil Diamond phase soon, not the music, just centering sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad fics around them. (and would you believe I listen to heavy metal?)

By Jenn
***

BA couldn’t supress his joy. His giant smile was an added bonus to his hosts on this special day. Hannibal handed BA a beautifully wrapped rectangular box. "Happy birthday Sergeant."

"Thanks Hannibal," he stood up and hugged the Colonel, then gave Maggie a kiss on the cheek. "Maggie, you didn’ haf ta’ go ta’ all this trouble."

"It was no trouble BA. Actually, from what John tells me, he owes you this."

BA looked confused for a minute, as he opened the box. "A rachete set. ‘Ah love it, but ‘ah already have a rachet set. You know that."

Hannibal shifted uncomfortably, "Umm, remember when we were in North Carolina, locked in that barn, and we didn’t have any weapons? We made that make shift cannon out of spare piping, and used some of the loose bits of farm equipment as ammunition?"

BA cocked his head suspiciously. "Yeah..."

"Well, we kind of ran out of scrap metal." Hannibal grinned sheepishly, "Face, didn’t you have something for BA?" he asked backing off.

BA pursed his lips and growled, taking a step towards Hannibal, when he felt his mother take hold of his arm. "Now Scooter, you be nice. Your friends went through alot of trouble to buy you those presents and rent this place."

"You’re right mamma. ‘Ah needed a new set anyway. Thanks Hannibal, Maggie."

Momma grinned and pat BA on the arm. "That’s my good boy."

Face then stepped up, with his arm draped across a tall blonde. "Here you go BA, I had this one made specially for you."

BA opened the box to reveal a thick gold ID bracelet, complete with his initials. "It’s twenty four carat," he smiled. "Only the best."

BA shook his head and playfully slapped Face on the shoulder. "It’s real nice Faceman, thanks."

Face smiled proudly as his date nibbled his ear. "You’re welcome. I figured we should start distributing your gold around your body, before you fall over."

Mamma took a look at her son, and then to his friends. "It’s just not right for a boy to wear more jewelry than his momma."

"Awe momma," BA remarked, embarrassed.

Hannibal looked to the bar, where Murdock sat nursing a drink. "He’s not supposed to be hitting the hard stuff on meds, is he?"

Face shook his head. "No, but he told me he’s only been pretending to take them for the past week, so he could have a drink or two tonight."

"More like four," Maggie commented, referring to the line of empty glasses on the bar, in front of him, "and by his demeanor, I’d say the sooner he starts taking his medicine again, the better. I’ve never seen him so down."

"Where’s that pretty young girlfriend of his?" Momma asked.

"Don’t know Mrs. B." Hannibal shrugged. "Uh, Captain? You’re up," he called across the bar.

Murdock quickly downed the last swallow of his drink and sauntered over.

He reached under the bench that BA had been sitting on and pulled out a large box about the size of a steamer trunk. Silently he held out his hand with a smile. "There ya’ go big guy. Enjoy!" He commented slightly buzzed.

"Murdock, where’s Kelley?" Maggie asked curiously. "Wasn’t she supposed to be coming?"

He absently looked at the floor for a split second and recovered with a smile. "She couldn’t make it. Some kind of emergency, and," he gestured out of the window to the pouring rain. "Terrible driving weather."

Maggie nodded, and studied him for a minute, sensing something more. "Ya’ know," he continued as he looked at his watch. "It’s getting kinda’ late. ‘Ah hate to cut this short, but ‘ah gotta’ get back to the VA."

"I thought you had a pass?" Face remarked. "You were going to crash at my place, and I was going to take you back in the morning."

"Yeah, but ‘ahm not quite feelin’ like ma’self. You know, not takin’ ma’ meds an’ all. ‘Ah think it’d be better if ‘ah went back."

"Well, give me a minute to say goodbye and I’ll give you a ride."

Murdock interrupted. "Don’t be silly Faceguy, you’re havin’ fun. I’ll catch a cab." Before anyone could argue, he kissed momma on the cheek. "Night guys. Maggie. Happy birthday big guy." He hugged BA and walked out of the bar. Everyone silently exchanged glances.

Face’s girlfriend eyed the box. "Well, I’m dying to know what’s inside. Aren’t you going to open it?"

BA picked up the lid, revealing all sorts of toys. Murdock’s yo-yo, his basketball and hoop from inside of his room at the VA, a hand held video game with six cartridges, a baseball bat, ball, and mit, along with various other trinkets of the pilot’s.

"What’s all this?" The young blonde asked. "Why would he be giving you toys?"

BA didn’t wait to answer, he ran out the door to find Murdock. He found him, standing on the corner, about to cross the street. "Murdock, hang on. Wait a minute." The rain began to come down harder soaking the two men, as they stood by the corner. "Why’d ya’ give me all your stuff?" he asked shocked and concerned.

"Not you, big guy, th’ kids. It’s for th’ youth center. It’s not much, but it’s better than whatcha’ got now." Again the smile that passed his lips seemed forced.

"Murdock," BA choked. "‘Ah don’ know what ta’ say."

"Say thanks, and invite me over ta’ play with them sometime."

BA gave Murdock a huge bear hug, overwhelmed by his friends generosity. As he let him go, he saw streams of water cascading down the pilot’s face, unable to tell if they were tears, or raindrops. "You go inside now," Murdock said with a smile. "Momma will kill you if ya’ get sick."

BA knew something was wrong, but he wouldn’t be able to find out what, tonight. Murdock wasn’t going to talk. He gave Murdock another hug, holding him tight in an effort to let him know he was there for him. He returned to the warmth of the bar, and the warmth of his friends, pausing momentarily to watch Murdock cross the street, and dissapear around the corner.

Love on the rocks
Ain't no surprise
Pour me a drink
And I'll tell you some lies
Got nothin' to lose
So you just sing the blues all the time

Murdock pulled his jacket tightly around his body, subconsciously mimicking the feeling of being held, as his thoughts inevitably drifted back to her.

Gave you my heart
Gave you my soul
You left me alone here
With nothing to hold
Yesterday's gone
Now all I want is a smile

He had been leery of getting involved with Kelley in the first place. Being certifiably insane and living in a mental institution, he didn’t think he had much to offer her. After she had shown up at the VA, just weeks after their meeting, he began to open up. As he got to know her, she seemed genuine in her affection for him, and he fell hard. He began to think that they might just have a chance. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

He walked along the streets, huddled around himself, emotionally numb. From the looks he was getting from the few passerby's, he imagined that he must look as miserable as he felt. He’d never felt a colder rain in his life.

First, they say they want you
How they really need you
Suddenly you find you're out there
Walking in a storm
When they know they have you
Then they really have you
Nothing you can do or say
You've got to leave, just get away
We all know the song

Chipping away slowly, she began to take away the little things that made him, him. It started with a rolling of the eyes. Referring to his playfulness, what she had originally claimed she was drawn to, as childish behavior. Then the comments, about his toys, about his clothes, about it being time for him to grow up. About her needing more out of their relationship.

The chill that passed through him had nothing to do with the rain. It was from deep inside. It was the only feeling that he had left.

You need what you need
You can say what you want
Not much you can do
When the feeling is gone
May be blue skies above
But it's cold when you love's on the rocks

He tried to give it all up. He tried to be what she wanted, until he didn’t know who he was anymore. He turned his life upside-down, and then, came the storm.

First, they say they want you
How they really need you
Suddenly you find you're out there
Walking in a storm
When they know they have you
Then they really have you
Nothing you can do or say
You've got to leave, just get away
We all know the song

He didn’t just lose her.

"You’ve changed H.M. You’re not the man I fell in love with, and I don’t think I can see you anymore." Her words still echoed in his mind.

In that instant, he had nowhere left to go. He still loved her, and blamed himself for losing her. Being with her, was what he had convinced himself, gave him joy.

Love on the rocks
Ain't no surprise
Pour me a drink
And I'll tell you some lies
Yesterday's gone
And now all I want is a smile

In a very short period of time, he’d lost happiness. In truth, he’d lost himself.


THE END
(sniffle)