Series: Good Boys are Always the Ones to Get Caught 2

Title: Doctor Doctor!

Author: Xandria

Rating: NC 17+ Slash Xander Harris / Scott Evil

Fandom: Buffy / Austin Powers Crossover

Spoilers: First movie and snippets of the second, not much.

Summary: Xander back home and he visits his uncle.

Feedback: Definitely baby!

Archive: If any one wants it.

Note: I was trying to think of a story for one list and a Xander / Oz for another. This is what happens when I try to force a plot! The time is sort of the second movie and begins after the third season and moves on through the fourth before going elsewhere.

Disclaimer: I do not now own the characters, nor have I done so in the past. Joss owns Buffy and Mike Myers Austin Powers (Sob!) However, if they should decide to not own them any longer I can be contacted on the above E-mail.

The 'Wham, bam, thank you Xan' comment I read in someone else's story, I can't remember who's but it was to good not to use, so thank you to whomever came up with that. The rest of it is mine, all mine!

Sunnydale Ten days later

Doctor Andrew Harris smiled and looked up at the young man entering his office. "Xander!. What a surprise. What can I do for you?" Xander looked down and shuffled his feet.

"I need…."

"Xander?"

"I have to be tested!"

"I see. What for?"

"Umm…well, I met someone on my roadtrip. And before I knew it we in bed together. So I have to be tested."

"Didn't you use protection?"

"No. It was all so fast! I never thought anyone would be interested in me!"

"What am I going to do with you? Xander, as a doctor I have to say at least you're doing the right thing to get the tests. As your uncle I want to yell at you for being so stupid!"

"Well, I'm sorry. That's why I came to see you instead of my usual doc. I'm not exactly happy about it. He left me. I woke up and I was alone. So, I find out I'm apparently gay or bi, and the guy who did the deed is gone. Is there something wrong with me Uncle Drew? The two people I slept with. It's been 'Wham, bam, thank you Xan.'" Andrew came around the table and hugged his nephew.

"Xander, there's nothing wrong with you. They have the problem, not you. Look, I'll arrange the tests, okay? And if my beloved brother or his wife give you problems, you can stay with me. If something does turn up, I'll be there for you, you know that."

"Thanks Uncle Drew. Guess I really am like you, hey?" Andrew thought of his life partner, Hank, and nodded.

Two days later

"Sit down Xander." Xander did for a minute, before getting up to pace up and down. Andrew smiled at him.

"So, am I sick?"

"No. Everything's clean."

Xander flung himself back in the chair before sighing in relief. "Thank you."

"I had nothing to do with it. And it's no guarantee. You'll have to be tested again every three months for at least the next year."

"I know. But at least for now I'm clean."

"You were lucky. Just remember, if you do get involved with someone, be careful. And use protection."

"Yes sir." Xander looked up and smiled before giving his uncle a quick hug and leaving.

"Oh Xander. I wish they'd let me take you away from them."

Eleven weeks later

He woke up and bolted to the bathroom in time to empty his stomach. //Oh damn. I'm getting tired of this//

Shakily, he walk back to his bed and sat down.

"Do you mind being sick somewhere else? It's the middle of the day and I'm trying to get some sleep!"

"Piss off Spike." The vampire laughed.

"I can hardly do that when I'm tied here, can I? And it's day out."

"Just shut up, will you?" Xander glared at the vampire. //Go on, say one more word. I dare you. I'll stake you where you are.// Spike, seeing the look in his eyes, wisely kept his mouth shut. Half an hour later Xander left.

One week later

"Okay Xander, just one more and that's it. So, now that that's done, how are you?"

"I think it's getting to me, stress wise. The first thing I do when I wake up is be sick, it lasts for an hour or so and that's it. And things have really gotten to me, more than usual, I've actually cried once or twice. And I think I'm gaining weight."

"That last is not a bad thing, I've been trying to get you to do that anyway."

"Hey, you know I eat plenty. It's just been more lately."

"It could just be a nervous stomach. But I'll have that tested too. Now, since it's my lunch break and my favourite nephew is here, why don't we go to lunch?"

"Best offer I've had for a while."

******************

Andrew stared at his nephew as he ate.

"If you're eating that all the time I know why you're getting sick." Xander looked up, his mouth full.

"Wha?"

"Don't do that, it's disgusting. And so is that burger. Chocolate sauce? Isn't that taking the chocolate thing too far?"

"Hey, it tastes really good! I don't know why I didn't try this years ago. My two favourite foods."

"I'm glad I'm a doctor. When I get back I'm going to have to prescribe myself a very strong antacid" Xander laughed and carried on eating.

Two days later

Back in his surgery Andrew gave his nephew the good news.

"You're still clean, Xander. But you know those other tests I gave you? I want to do more. I'm not happy with your hormone levels."

"Hormones? I'm hormonal? Is this why I've been so confused lately?"

"Could be. But I want to examine you more thoroughly to make sure it's not something else." Andrew wrote on a slip of paper and handed it to Xander. He stared at it, confused.

"What's this?"

"You appointment with the hospital for your tests."

"But this will take all day. I can't leave work…"

"Your life is more important than your work."

"It's that bad?"

"Maybe. I want to make sure."

"Okay then."

Two days later

"So, what's happening."

"Well you're perfectly healthy."

"But the hormone thing!"

"Ah. I've checked back through your records to make sure. You've spontaneously started to change."

"Change how?'

"You're pregnant." Xander looked up, smiled uncertainly, and fainted.

=30=
Xandria