Title: Bad Writing

Author: Python

Fandom: Barney Miller

Pairing: Harris/Dietrich

Summary: Answer to Peja's challenge

Disclaimer: These guys don't belong to me. This is just for fun. Please don't sue me.

Bad Writing
by Python

"Come hell or high water, I'm gonna make you love me," Ron Harris read as he sat in bed, waiting for Dietrich to get out of the shower. He shook his head. That was one of the stupidest lines he'd ever read in anything. Why was he reading this woman's manuscript again? Because she had money and had asked for his opinion.

Harris sighed. He'd have to lie. Let the real editor be the one to tell her that her writing stank. Or maybe romance novels just weren't his thing.

But he knew good writing when he read it. Unfortunately, this was not good writing.

Harris looked up to see Arthur Dietrich, standing in the doorway.

Dietrich wore a bathrobe. His red curls were still damp and he carried his glasses.

Harris smirked. "Did you enjoy your shower?"

Dietrich set his glasses on the stand by Harris's side of the bed. "Yes."

Harris closed the manuscript, but used a finger to keep his place. He ran his free hand inside the robe and traced Dietrich's ribs. Dietrich hissed and he smiled.

Dietrich gestured to the pages lying in Harris's lap. "What are you reading?"

"Anne Dorin's manuscript," Harris answered, running his fingers through Dietrich's chest hair.

"That rich lady who's car was stolen yesterday?"

Harris nodded. "She wants to be a writer. She read Blood on the Badge and loved it. So, she wants my opinion on her romance novel," he explained, clearly not impressed with Dorin's work.

"Are you going to be honest with her?"

"No."

Dietrich chuckled. "You don't want to be the one to give her the bad news."

"Basically," Harris said. He was not in the mood to slug through any more of Dorin's horrid writing and came to a decision. He tugged open Dietrich's robe.

Dietrich's eyes sparked. "Has Dorin's novel put you in the mood?"

"I was in the mood before I started reading," Harris answered. He dropped the manuscript on the floor and trailed his hands down Dietrich's sides.

Dietrich shrugged out of the robe and climbed into bed. He straddled Harris and leaned in to capture Harris's mouth in a searing kiss. When they broke apart, they were both panting for air.

Harris licked his lips. His mouth met Dietrich's again and his hands roamed where they pleased. They strayed down to Dietrich's groin and he swallowed Dietrich's gasp.

Dietrich let Harris push him onto his back. Harris settled on top of him and kissed along his jaw. "Ron." The name came out as a long moan.

Harris pulled back enough so Dietrich could see his grin. Dietrich stared at him, wondering why he'd stopped. "Come hell or high water, I'm gonna make you love me."

Dietrich sighed in frustration. "That is one of the worst lines I have ever heard."

"I know. It's Dorin's."

"Are you going to quote her the whole night?"

"No, just wanted to see how you'd react," Harris said lightly.

Dietrich shoved Harris off of him and sat up. "Well, Ron, I'm afraid you've killed the mood."

Harris gaped at Dietrich. "What?"

Dietrich crossed his arms. "Sorry."

Harris couldn't believe that Dietrich was serious. "Arthur."

"Ron."

"You can't..." Harris's voice trailed off in exapseration.

"Can't what?"

"Let me get my engine running and then cut me off," Harris answered.

Dietrich didn't reply and the two stared at each other. Dietrich's expression didn't change except for a slight upturn at the corner of one mouth. He didn't take his eyes from Harris's.

It finally dawned on Harris that Dietrich was playing him. He planted a hand on Dietrich's chest and pushed Dietrich back down. "You had me going there for a minute."

"I had to."

Harris straddled Dietrich again and kissed Dietrich possessively. "Why?"

"For using a bad line on me. I expect better from you," Dietrich answered half-seriously.

Harris nibbled at Dietrich's earlobe. "You're right. I apologize. Let me make it up to you."


The End