Misunderstanding

author: annakas

fandom: Batman

pairing: Bruce/Dick

rating: R definitely not more.

warnings: bad humor, no beta and dubious charactezation.

summary: Dick wakes up in a compromising situation and can't remember anything from the night before. And why is Bruce gving him death glares all of a sudden?

Archive: Hell yes. Take take take! *showes it to everyone*

Misunderstanding
by annakas

It all started with a lost tube of lube,a dildo, a hangover from hell and clothes meant for females definitely not for men. This was what caused the unfortunate situation Richard Grayson also known as Dick found himself in.

Dick woke up because of the uncomfortable feeling of his brains trying to crawl out of his head.When the sun shone through the window into his puffy eyes he wished to be dead. The usually cheerful man could not find any cheer this morning because things were very very wrong.

Firstly he did not find the usual other occupant oh his bed. His lover Bruce was nowhere to be seen. The mystery was solved when Dick noticed with his fuzzy head that he was in the wrong rooms and not in his and Bruce's . The absence of his lover now explained did not make things better because with it another problems and questions raised. Why was Dick in the wrong rooms? Why was he in his old rooms not in the ones he shared with Bruce?

After some time the exhausted mind put some brain cells together and remembered the fact that he and Bruce had had a big fight yesterday over some little thing. When the mystery of the wrong rooms was explained even that didn't improve Dick's mood because with it he remembered the fight and he didn't like the fact that he and Bruce were angry at each other.

Dick felt like shit, his head hurt, his body ached in places it should not ache, Bruce was not beside him to make things better and he didn't remember almost anything from the night before. So when he woke up in the wrong room, in the wrong bed, smelling like sex and alcohol, in womens chlothes it was no miracle that panic kicked in.

What the hell had happened yesterday questioned the young man his exhausted brains? The answer did not come in the first two minutes, also it didn't come in the next three. So the man started to do a little inventory of his body and to put last nights events step by step together.

Dick sat up on his old bed. Long red hair fell before his face. What the hell? Long hair? When the former Robin saw the red long strands he noticed that his head was itching horribly. With all the other throbbings and aches he hadn't felt that the skin on his head had itched like hell. Now when he had noticed it Dick clutched the red mane and pulled the wig from his head and threw it to the other side of the room. Oh this is better, way better than before was the relieved thought.

Now Dick started to chek out his body and what he saw scared him a lot. The young man was wearing a long black leather skirt with two big slits by its sides, leather corset whitch gave the impression of little boobs to him and on his feet were boots with high heels, with very very high heels. Dick started to wriggle himself out of the clothes. When the mission was accomplished he noticed something else that gave him a scare. Beside him on his bed was a half empty tube of lube, a torn thong and a very recognisable wet spot with regonizalbe substance.

Oh shit shit shit please god tell me that I didn't cheat on Bruce. Shit, damn, hell- were the panicy thougths. The matter had to be investigated. I don't remember spending the night with anybody Dick thought to himself. But this is not telling me a lot the guy could have left before I woke up. Dick took the tube of lube and looked at it. Again panic began to set in. This is the tube that was in the cupoard beside my bed in the first drawer never used or opened before. I definitely feel well fucked and streched. I don't remember owning a thong. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck Bruce is never going to forgive me, I am never going to gorgive me. And what about safe sex? I don't see a used condom anywhere near here. Oh my god I need a shower and I need it now. I feel so dirty.

Dick got out of his bed, stumbled to his feet and ran to the shower where he spent the next half hour wallowing in his guilt. When he finally got out of there he decided to clean up his room and burn everything from last night. When Dick was bending down to collect the clothes he noticed something laying near his bed that made his heart sing with joy. Dick noticed his dildo whitch he had christened Beatrice for some reason evebn Dick himself didn't know, his dildo whitch was covered in tried lube. The former Robin wanted to scream with joy because he hadn't cheated on Bruce, he just had used one of his old toys.

Greatly relieved the man dropped the things he had collected up and decided to face his lover over lunch and make up with him.

When Dick arrived to the lunch Bruce and Tim were already there eating. The atmosphere was cold and tense. Bruce graced Dick with a glare that Batman gave only to the most foul of criminals he encountered in his job. Dick did not feel so cheerful anymore. Bruce was furious with him. Oh yeah we haven't made up yet and he is still angry over yesterday was the subdued thought. But not to worry things are about to change in that regard tried Dick comfort himself.

The meal was spent in strained and uncomfartable silence. The only sounds that were heard were the eating utensils when they scraped their plates. The entire time Bruce sent Dick death glares worthy of Hades himself. Tim spent the time looking at Bruce, then and Dick, then at his own plate. And so his head moved from left to right to down again and again and again... and Dick spent the time looking mournfully at Bruce trying to communicate that he was sorry.

When it seemed that noone was going to say anything at all Tim decided to be the brave person and speak. Though it more came out as a clearing of his throat. Bruces eyes snapped into his and held him in their intense regard one eyebrow rised as in question. Dick ignored it and looked still with mournful look at his mad lover. With being under Bruces stare Tim forgot what he wanted to say and mumbled the first topic that came into his head. In this case it was an exuse to get the hell out of this dining room. With quite a resourceful idea Tim explained that he had a test he had to learn for. What he forgot and what even Bruce seemed to forget was the fact that it was Friday and there was no school for a couple days. And exuse given to the other two occupants Tim smiled a little and almost flew out of the room in his hurry.

The uncomfortable silence continued. Also the death glares Bruce was giving to Dick continued and the mournful looks Dick was giving to Bruce in return resumed their course too.

Dick was a little confused. Yeah sure he and Bruce had had a fight the day before and okay perhaps running out of the house into the city was not the smartest of moves in Dicks part but this did not explain why Bruce was so angry. It didn't explain why Bruce was over reacting to this fight. The two of them had had fights before some a lot worser than this one and not once before had Bruce been so angry that he sent Dick his best bat-death glares.

Enough was enough thought Dick. I have to get into bottom of this, make up with Bruce and then onto the make up sex. Decision made Dick started to speak only to be stopped in his tracks by Bruce who had raised his hand in dismissal and said in a mencaing dark voice: "Not a word Dick. Not one single word out of your mouth. I don't want to hear your exuses" That said Bruce stood rigidly and walked toward the entrance.

What the hell is wrong with him now wondered Dick. Things could not stay so for even a moment longer. Bruce was angry, angrier than ever before. Dick could see that clearly. The former Robin did the only thing sensible to him and ran after Bruce. The billionaire strode with angry steps Dick almost running behind him and talking rapidly:

"Bruce wait! Talk to me man. What is wrong? Things are not so bad. You are over reacting. Bruce!"

The billionaire stoped suddenly, turned around angrily and said in a voice whitch held a lot of disbelief and sarcasm in it:" What is wrong? What is WRONG? Things not so bad. I AM OVER REACTING!?!?! You have some nerve Dick. After what you did!"

"I haven't done anything. What are you accusing me of!? I only went out to get some drinks to calm down before coming back to you." said Dick in confusion. Well that was the part that Dick could remember of his night out. He vaguely remembered going into his favourite bar. Ordering a bottle of tequila. How he ended up in womens clothes was till a mystery to him but Dick was sure he would get the answers to that in time. He also remembered in a big hase for some bizarre reason one of his old circus buddies.

Bruces face turned from anger and disbelief in to even more anger and this time disgust and so he carried on his accusation in a mocking tone:" Oh I would say you have done quite a lot. And the drinks! I bet you got a lot more than some drinks to calm you down. I bet she calmed and relaxed you very nicely."

"She!?! What she!?! There was no she!?!" Dick had totally lost what Bruce was talking about and didn't understand at all.

"So you are denying it. Lying into my face! How dare you. Cheating on me and in my own damn house! Yes a SHE! I saw her quite well. Was kind of hard to miss with all the noise you made. When I heared the stumbling in the corridor I decided to check on you and drag you to bed to sleep the alcohol off. And imagine my surprise when one red headed skimpily dressed female stubmles into your room madly giggling, then she shut the door with a pang. I was frozen on the spot and thought I was seeing things when after some minutes quite recognisable noises started to come out of your room. Very loudly I might add. I would not be surprised if you woke up Tim with your screaming. It was Beatrice if I am not mistaken. Ohh Beatrice harder! Yes baby! YES! DEEPER!!! and so on so on so on... Believe me it was not pleasant to hear your own damn lover CHEAT ON YOU! AND NOW YOU DARE TO DENY IT!!!" by the time Bruce had finished the tirade he was screaming.

Dick himself was stupified. First he had never heared Bruce talk so much in on go. For second he had never seen Bruce lose his calm before. For third Bruce had seen him in the female clothes. For fourth Bruce had seen him and hadn't recognised him. For fivth Bruce thought he had cheated him and for sixth Bruce had heared him use the dildo named Beatrice. Talk about a misunderstanding that could have heavy cost. And damn this was embarassing but Dick had to explain things and set the record straight.

"Bruce I can explain." said Dick

"What is there to explain. You fucked some... some woman" spit Bruce bitterly out.

" Oh no no nonononoNOOO things weren't like that. Honestly. Well the female you saw was not a female but it was me in female clothes." explained Dick hurriedly.

There was silence and then a disgusted snort. "And you expect me to believe this absurd explanation. No I don't think so. And I haven't noticed that you have some crossdressing habits. That would be kind of hard to miss. And what about Beatrice bit? Huh?" was the sarcastic question.

"Well Beartice is my favourite dildo and I used it yesterday after coming home." was the meek response.

" A dildo? Ohh it gets better and better with every second. Since when do you own sex toys? Honestly our sex life is as vanillas as vanilla it can get. And now suddenly you pop out with some kinks. What next? You were a female before and made a sex change operation? And why the fuck would you own a dildo?" was angrily asked

"Well exuse me! We were not yet together a year ago. And I wanted to have some sex but not with strangers. I was in love with you but you were not with me then. I wanted to relieve some of my frustations, hormones and stress. Using some sex toys was the safest and most sadisfieing way at the time. So I bought some dildos. One was named Beatrice my favourite. When you and me got together the toys were left behind in my room because I had a better thing now. Namely you. Making love with you. As for the crossdressing incident. I don't have the fetish. And how and where I got the clothes I can't remember I was too blastered. The reason why I weared the clothes is as big as mystery to me as to you. But Bruce I wov to you in the name of everything holy I did not cheat on you yesterday. Come on I can even prove it to you. I still have the clothes and the wig in my room. Plus my dildo." and saying this Dick grabbed Bruces hand and started to drag him toward his old room.

"And what do you mean our sex is as vanilla as vanilla it can get. Are you not sadisfied? This is definitely not my fault. You are the one who is new in these relationship things. I thought you wanted it this way." asked Dick on the way to his old room.

Once inside Dick dragged the garbage bag where he had stuffed the clothes in the middle of the room and shook the things out of it. There was silence. Bruce was hard in thought after some time he said:

"It was you"

"Yes it was me" admitted Dick.

Again silence and then:

"So you didn't cheat on me"

"No I didn't cheat on you" to prove his point Dick searched for his dildo Beatrice. Took it and showed it to Bruce.

Silene.

"It is smaller than me" was the selfsadisfied remark Bruce made after seeing the toy.

Dick snorted:" It figures this is the first thing you would notice. And now what did you mean with the vanilla comment before?"

Silence.

Then Bruce smiled:" Well our sex life is vanilla. When we got together I though you were not ready for more. I mean you being so young and all. And you never did give me any indication you wanted to expand our sex life. So I didn't mention it."

"Woah woah Bruce are you saying that you want to look into other erm... styles and eh... bossibilites? I thought you didn't want to."

"Well yes I would like it. I thought you werent ready for more." was Bruces response

"So basically we both would like more but thought the other didn't and so didn't say anything"

"Dick it seems so."

"So Bruce would you like to try something new" asked Dick.

"Yeah lover I would like it a lot. You could wear these clothes again. To be honest you looked quite hot in them. Atleast what I could see from your back was hot."

"Really?" saying that Dick approached Bruce with a wicked look. He put his arms around his lover and leaned in to kiss him only to stop when his cell phone started to ring. "Hold that thought" were the words Dick said to Bruce before answering his cell.

"Heah Dick listening... Hey long time not heared from you... what?... Ohh not a problem... Bye..." Dick shut his phone, threw it into a corner in his room and said:

"Now where were we." that done he kissed Bruce pasionately and mumbled. "Oh and now the clothes part is explained too."

"They are?"

"Yeah. It turns out after I went into the bar and had drunk some. I met one of my old circus buddies who was in a tire situation. When he saw me he asked for help. Some kind of accident had happened and one of the artists in the circus had to leave for a night. So there was noone to fill in his part. When he saw me he asked for the help. I agreed. And so I was dressed as a female for the night and did the scence the other guy should have done. He just called me to thank me for helping him out."

"Oh. Well that explains it. And why are we talking about it. Go now and but the clothes on again. I would like to get a private show too."

"Hey I was not stripping to them I dances some kind of lame part and singed. There was nothing erotical about it."

"I know but Dick I am sure you can change it a little for me." Bruce smirked

"Yeah I can."

And so Dick took the clothes. Turned on some sultry music. Told Bruce to make himself comfortable on the bed and enjoy the show. He ran into the bathroom to change and prepare. Bruce on the bed smiled. He was sure he will enjoy the show.

The end