Give And Take

By Destina Fortunato

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/destinaf/

Pairing: Batman/Robin

Canon: Movies (don't hate me) but darker, not so silly

Rating: R

Archive: Batslash and affiliated archives okay; others ask first, please

Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC Comics et al. Just borrowing! No copyright infringement intended.

Summary: Dick reflects. Vignette.

Authors' Notes: This is a very short vignette, and it's my first batslash. Please be kind.

Feedback: All comments and constructive criticism to destinaf@hotmail.com

Give and Take
By Destina Fortunato

Friend, partner, brother...

*Lover.*

It was on the tip of his tongue, I could tell. He just couldn't bring himself to say it. He's so unbelievably conventional. Lots of trust issues.

He took me in, gave me a home after my first life came to an end. What's happened since then has been sort of surreal, like a rebirth into a secret world. I could never have predicted any of this in my wildest dreams.

The rush is the best part of being Robin. I like the danger. Bruce wants me to be safe, to be careful. But there's no thrill in that. In the work, or in bed.

I can't imagine being either place without him now.

The first time he took me was like being caught in a hurricane, torn apart in ten different ways and rebuilt by his lips and tongue. He pinned me down, wouldn't let me move, traced each muscle with his fingertips until I was shouting at him to let me go so I could touch him, anywhere, everywhere. It was too much - the way he moved his hands over me, the way his eyes caught hold of mine and refused to let me look away, the way he whispered in my ear and ran me to the ragged edge with just a simple demand. *Come for me.*

Part of my soul was ripped away when I did, and I didn't give a damn. It belonged to him anyway.

It took me a little while to figure out what I was feeling. It wasn't brotherly, that much I knew for sure. He's not old enough to be my father. Which doesn't stop him from trying now and then. That little protective streak in him was enough to make me crazy when I first put on the Robin suit; now it makes me hard.

Partner, yes. Lover, definitely. I could spend hours climbing around that long, cut muscle he calls a body, exploring, tasting, biting. I could look at him and be content, but he'd never let me leave it at that. He'd rather be inside me, and when his mouth is on me, swallowing me, making me give up every future that doesn't include him, it never occurs to me to argue. The ecstasy is too sweet.

There's a rapture in chasing down bad guys, too, and it's one I can share with him without having to hide. There aren't any secrets between us. There's nothing I don't know about him, nothing I might ask that he wouldn't tell me. He's a private man, but he's mine, and I don't have to wonder anymore because he threw his life open for me.

I think sometimes about losing him. I've lost everything else I loved: why not Bruce too? It's not like this is a low-risk profession. I would never ask him to give it up. He'd be incomplete without Batman, only a shell of himself. I feel the same way about Robin now. It's his fault that I learned to love this superhero thing so much.

I'm not sure that isn't what attracted me to him in the first place that sort of dangerous line he walks between normal and madness. I like the darkness in him. I claimed it when I started to understand it; I know the taste of the bitterness he breathes. He lives on it, thrives in it.

So I look at him now, with his gray sweats on and one leg thrown over the arm of the chair, reading some gigantic and important tome about something I'll never care about for one second, and I want him.

The best part is that I already have him. Now it's just a matter of getting his attention.