Title: Amusement

Authors: Meg & Amy

Pairing: Spike/Xander

Rating: NC17

Summary: Xander drags Spike to the amusement park.

Feedback: Yes, please. Keeps Amy and Meg full of happy, smutty plot bunnies.
Meg: memmeier@insightbb.com
Amy: amyvamp@aol.com

Dedications: To one of our listmummies of M/M Slashaholics, Sarah. Hope this makes you smile.

Disclaimer: As real life usually goes, we don't own 'em, we just play with 'em.

Authors Note: Okay, we seriously don't mean to offend anyone, we swear. Both of us have a demented twisted sense of humor that reared it's ugly head in this piece. We're thinking of making it a series, so if you like, let us know.

I take the steps two at a time. I am so psyched to get home. Who knew that goofing off at work would earn me two free tickets to the sneak preview at the amusement park tonight. I swear it's been forever. Already visions of cotton candy and twisting, turning roller coasters are dancing in my head. A life that consists of construction by day and demon slaying by night with a sliver of Spike lovin' in between makes for a pretty hectic schedule. We so need a little down time to cut loose and act like the love struck dopes we are. He's gonna love it.

I'm so excited that I can't get the damn key in the door. How long has it been since I've felt like a kid again? Hell, when did I ever feel like a kid growing up in good 'ol Sunnyhell. Tonight is gonna change things, we will have fun even if it kills us both.

I can't help but wince as the door bangs open with my enthusiasm. Hope I didn't just put a hole in the wall. Landlord already hates us for making with the banging, moaning, groaning at all hours. I call out for the delicious undead morsel that just happens to be my hunny, before I see that Spike is draped (yeah, he's draped. With a body like that, he has to drape!) across the couch and he catches my eyes with a raised brow.

"Everything okay, pet?"

I swear his voice is sex. Those husky syllables just rolling off his tongue.yep, I'm hard. No, no! Amusement park, damnit. I will fuck him into the carpet later, but before this night ends I WILL HAVE MY FUNNEL CAKE!


*****


If he doesn't calm down, I swear his heart's gonna beat straight outta his bloody chest. Last time I saw the boy so excited he was bein' chased by something right nasty. He's smiling though, so I'm guessin' there's no horde to deal with.
He does however look like he might explode at any moment, and as much as I love the whelp, I prefer having him in one nummy, lickable piece instead of hundreds. So much for the sodding Passions marathon. I flick off the TV and push up from the couch, closing the distance between us. Every step the eau de Xander gets stronger and it's all I can do to keep from throwing him over my shoulder. Damn intoxicating, he is.sawdust and chocolate overlaid with something sharp and citrusy that I've never quite been able to place. All tied up with this vulnerable bow of sweet innocence, like a pretty present wrapped just for me. Hell, all it makes me want to do is get him starkers and shag him against a wall or ten. The smile does me in every time.



*****



"Hey, get dressed. We're going out." I say as I bounce from foot to foot.

"Out.where?"

Always so suspicious. He's glaring at me with this "I-know-I'm-going-to-hate-this" look. I really don't want to tell him where. I want it to be a surprise, but one thing I've learned in the past year is that Spike hates surprises. Our first Christmas together, he opened then rewrapped all his gifts because he couldn't stand the not-knowing. I turn on my Xander Harris charm, as I look deep into his eyes. (God, he's beautiful! Still hard...NO! Park! Junk Food! Rides!)

"You're gonna love it! We'll have a blast!" My excitement gets the better of me as I dodge the question.

"Where?"

I can see the tinges of impatience creeping into face. A tiny frown mars the beauty of it as he starts to get concerned. I do what I have to do in times like this. I bat my eyes like a girl and slowly advance toward him, trying my damndest to pour all my love and adoration of him across my features.

"The amusement park." I mumble, fully aware that with his vampire hearing that he could hear a pin drop in the next house, but it adds to the innocent schoolboy appeal he's so crazy about.



*****

Did he just say what I thought he said? Must be completely off my rocker, because I'd swear it was something about an amusement park. He can't be serious. The look on his face tells me otherwise.

Bugger!

No way in hell! Loads of people (that I can't even eat anymore) toddling around with their mewling, sticky-fingered little brats, the screaming and squealing and flashing lights.just the thought turns my stomach. That in and of itself is an accomplishment considering the things I've seen the past century. How could he ever think I'd do this? Maybe he's the one that's gone mad.

Gotta let him know.gotta be firm. He has to get that.I. Will. Not. Do. This. Can't you just see it? William the Bloody snogging on the Ferris Wheel with Xander-fucking-Harris. No, I'm already the laughingstock of the demon community, and I don't need another notch in my pansy-belt. Not. Gonna. Happen. Just so long as I can get my ass out of here as soon as I tell him so, everything will be fine.

When I look at him again, the steely resolve I've been workin' on almost crumbles. Looks like a pup, he does. All that's missing is the slobbering tongue and wagging tail. So I focus on the floor instead and turn my back on him to head towards the bathroom. With any luck, I'll get things locked up nice and tight before he can follow me in.

I toss a casual sounding "No" at him over my shoulder as I click the door shut.


*****


I can't believe he said "No" to me. I mean, I even mustered up the pout and puppy dog eyes that make him bend to my every wish.well, usually. Damnit, I'm going to the amusement park and he's going with me even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming (Yep, hard. Good Gods, the blonde menace has reduced me to a walking chubber!) I can't help but smile as a purely evil plan starts to unfold in my head.

"The way to this vamp's heart.lies below the belt." I snicker as I approach the bathroom door. Shit! Door's locked. I reach above the doorframe and find the key that I have hidden for just such an occasion. I can hear the water beating down so I know I'm safe. Now Spike, on the other hand, is about to meet the Xander Harris patented brand of sweet persuasion.

As I ease inside the door, I'm thunderstruck at his silhouette through the shower door. Perfection is the only word that comes to mind. Smooth, marble-white skin stretched taut over sinewy muscles, planes and angles that make me weak in the knees. Not to mention the thick erection jutting from the dark, curling nest of hair at his groin. (Hard. Yep. Hard.) I ease out of my clothes as he starts to sing a raucous rendition of "My Way." Thank goodness I remembered to oil the shower door last week. It doesn't make a sound as I open it and slip inside.

I know I've been caught when he tenses, every inch of that beautiful body coiled and ready to snap. I ease my hands around his waist ghosting over the trembling muscles of his abdomen. Spike sucks in an unneeded breath.

Oh yeah, I'm going to the amusement park tonight.


*****


Bollocks! I was this close. This close! And now he's got me panting like a mongrel bitch in heat. Only Xan. When he wraps his arms around me, everything else slips away. I brace my hands against the wall and grind my teeth together just to keep from whimpering as the feather-light touches he's doling out drift lower. When his hand wraps around my shaft, it's all I can do to keep my knees from buckling. My undoing is the gentle nibble at my earlobe and the soft whispered words.

"We going out tonight?"

He keeps this up, we won't be getting out of the bloody shower. I can tell from the slight rocking of his hips and the way his fingertips slide across my moist skin that he wants this as much as I do. Maybe if I say yes we can get on with the shagging already. Xander may be a silly git sometimes, but there's no way he'd pass up an evening in with the likes of me for the Tilt-A-Whirl and a box of fucking caramel corn.

Still.never can be too careful. My boy has a long and happy relationship with snacks, and right about now I'm not too sure I'd win out over the lure of teeth-rotting confections.


*****


I tease his shaft with the barest touch of my fingers. I know the way he's arching into my hands that he needs the friction. Evil plan or not, I can't resist gripping his velvet length tightly in my fist as I press my own hot erection into his back. I jerk him in time with my punctuated words.

"Are. We. Going. Out?" I breathe heavily into his ear. His head falls onto my shoulder as I swipe my thumb over the bulbous head on the upstroke forcing a strangled moan from my lover. I feel his body tense with his impending climax. Oh no, Blondie, not till you tell Xan what he wants to hear. Come on now, I know you can do it.

"Gods, yes!" Spike yells as he spills his seed against the shower wall. I grin as his muscular body shakes with the aftershocks of his climax.

"Good, you've got ten minutes." I pat his ass affectionately as I exit the shower. I hear a dull thud as his head hits the wall followed by a string of expletives that would make a sailor blush. I'm going to the amusement park.


*****


Over the course of my unlife, I've been in some pretty bad spots. There was the time that Krelnesch demon used me for a battering ram when Angelus got him cornered in some stinking back alley in Berlin. Or when Darla strung me up in the dungeon and left me for a month straight - no blood, no rest, nothing - just because I told her that bustle made her ass look big. Worst of all was when Dru conjured up a whole flock of bleedin' wood nymphs that thought I was dinner. Had teeth like chipmunks, nasty little buggers. Took a decent chunk outta my nose too before I managed to pry 'em off.

Nothing compares to this.

The whelp, on the other hand, is in heaven. He's eaten enough junk in the past hour to feed an army of the wriggling rugrats that seem to be under my feet everywhere I turn. The next one that.

Bloody Hell!

That little blonde chit just smacked me with a sodding balloon! On purpose! She's giggling like it's funny somehow so I flash my game face at her and snarl, which only makes her laugh louder.

Fan-fucking-tastic.Xander's got his great gob running a mile a minute, courtesy of the inhuman amounts of sugar he's consumed tonight, my duster is caked with dust and some unknown sticky substance that could either be demon blood or cotton candy, and now I have Bitty-Buffy behind me in the line for a roller coaster I don't want to ride, beating on me with a blow-up purple dinosaur.

"Xan?" It's all I can do to keep the tremble out of my voice.

When he turns to look at me, he's got a corndog in one hand and a sno-cone in the other. There's a bit of mustard clinging to his lower lip, and under any other circumstances I might find it endearing, amusing, even cute, but right now.

"What?" he says, mumbling around a mouthful of food.

"Do you have any stakes on you?" Another blow from the Mylar torture device. I swat at it, praying I don't inadvertently hit the tot. Wouldn't do to keel over with mind-numbing pain for no apparent reason. Then again.

"Course I do, Spike. Do I look stupid?"

It's one of those questions you should never have to answer. Especially if you're in the mood I'm in right now. Particularly if the bloke asking it has a dusting of powdered sugar off a long-gone funnel cake clinging to the collar of his ghastly burnt orange and piss green Hawaiian shirt. Oh yeah.and of course the mustard. It's kinda like when a bird asks you: "Do these pants make me look fat?" Learned the right answer to that one the first time around. Darla and the bustle, you see. When he switches his corndog to the other hand so he can pat the stake in his back pocket, he somehow manages to smear a liberal amount of mustard all over his forearm as well.

"Mind giving it a new home, pet?" When I pull aside the lapels of my duster to tap the spot on my chest, I realize there's a scoop of vanilla ice cream melting on my shoulder, leaving the pocket where I keep my fags a soupy mess. This is about the time I start thinking I should take up some of that bloody Tae Bo shit.whatever the fuck it is my Sire does to calm the demon.


*****


Spike doesn't seem like he's having a good time. I think the suggestion that I stake him to put him out of his misery was the first clue. He keeps glaring at the cutest little girl behind us, don't know why. Maybe it's because she reminds me of a smaller version of Buffy, but I think she's adorable. I can't believe me and Spike are actually in line for the Vortex of Death. This is the coolest roller coaster on the West Coast, all twists and turns, corkscrews and the death drop from 115 feet. I'm almost giddy from the excitement. I know he's gonna love it. In between the funnel cake and the corndog, I actually found out that he's never been on a roller coaster before and here I thought my pet vampire had seen and done everything. I knew the Vortex of Death was the one for his first experience.

The line is advancing pretty quickly and we are close to the ride attendant now. Nice looking guy, sorta reminds me of Deadboy. Tall, dark and handsome, although I would NEVER tell Spike that I found Angel attractive. He would slide right off the deep end, and I like him just the way he is thank you very much. Said attendant smiles this thousand-watt smile at me and strikes up a conversation. He asks if I'm here with anyone and before I can open my mouth Spike growls lowly and snakes his arm around my waist, licking my ear in the process.

"Only his very personal fuck slave, mate," he says, sardonic smirk plastered on his face.

I think tall, dark and handsome's mouth just hit the floor and his eyebrows have completely disappeared into his forehead as Spike continues to molest me in front of God and everyone. (Hard. Yep, I'm hard.) Not that I mind at all, because I really, really don't, but right now I'm willing my body to stay upright as he continues to place little bites on my neck for the encore. Gah! The things he does to me.

Tall dark and handsome doesn't say anything else, just ushers us onto the ride. I want Spike to get the full effect, so obviously, I take the first seat. This is gonna be great.


*****


When Xan pats the cracking vinyl seat beside him, I grumble and settle in after flashing that overpaid carnie wannabe my own version of his bloody come-hither smile. So what if there are fangs and golden sparks involved? No one puts the moves on my boy, especially not right under my nose. Of course Xander thinks he was just being polite, but then he couldn't smell the wave of pheromones that oozed off the guy when he stepped to the front of the line. Didn't help any that the tosser looked just like my Sire..

A padded bar descends, locking me in place and the trapped feeling it's giving me isn't doing anything for my state of mind. Neither are the rank, mingling scents of human offal and vomit that seem to cling to everything I touch. And the only thing that keeps my ass in the sodding car is the thought of Xan stretched out on clean cotton sheets, naked as the day he was born. What? I could break the fucking lap bar in a second if I wanted to. Everything jerks violently as we get underway and I glance over to see a goofy smile stretched across the whelp's face. That.makes it almost worth it. Almost. But I can't help ribbing him a little; you know.it's in my nature.

"Happy now?" I put on a great show of pouting as the car turns and starts up a sharp incline. The demon snarls just beneath my skin, and a little tremor of unease twitches in my jaw. We're going up that? My eyes snap to the twists and loops on down the line and I can't help the lurch in my stomach. Vortex of Death sounded like a good idea at the time, especially if it meant getting away from the tiny blonde bint behind me. But now I'm squirming and just want out of the bloody thing.


*****


I choke on a girlish giggle at the look on Spike's face as we ascend the first and highest hill. He wants to bolt, I can tell. The Big Bad looks a little bit frightened. Hell no, I wouldn't tell him that. I'd like to keep all the appendages I know I would lose if I insulted his big badness.

I can't, however, suppress the fit of laughter that bubbles from me as he emits the unmanliest squeal ever heard from a human, er.well, you know what I mean. We plummet toward the bottom of the hill only to be thrown into a set of two corkscrews. The G-force alone is enough to pull your nuts through your tonsils. God, it's great. I'm laughing so hard but there's no sound because we're going so fuckin' fast.

Big Bad's still making those unearthly howling sounds, but when I look over I realize he's loving this. His face is alive with laughter and he screams something that over the rushing wind in my ears sounds like "Fuck, yeah!" I knew he'd love it.

Uh-oh, I don't feel so good. All the loop-the-loop and G-force stuff is great, but my stomach is making me think that maybe I should have gone without that second sno-cone. As the cars lurch onto the exit landing, Spike looks over at me, his eyes sparkling like twin sapphires surrounded by crinkling skin, face animated with the thrill of the ride.

"Fuck, that was amazing? Can we ride it again..Xan? You ok?"

BLECH!

"Bloody Hell!"


*****


My Docs! And the duster!?! Christ on a fucking pogo-stick. Didn't want to come here to begin with. Alright, so the Vortex of Death thing we just did was bloody brilliant, but now I've got the partially-digested contents of Xander's stomach sliding down the hem of my duster and pooling in a swirling pink, brown, and green puddle on my boots. Yeah.green, two lime sno-cones and an enormous green-apple Jolly Rancher thing can do that to ya. And all I want to do is thump him right good, but I can't. Besides the fact I have that lovely electronic leash nestled firmly in my cerebral cortex, he's still slumped forward and gulping heavy, soggy breaths and it's so obvious he feels horrible that I almost forget about the vile-smelling gunk currently congealing on my clothes.

Park employees in their neat khaki shorts and obnoxious turquoise shirts keep hovering around the car, so I disengage the lap bar and heft Xan into my arms, searching for the nearest available place to set him down. Probably be best if I get him to the bathroom so we can both clean up, but he's starting to breathe easier now, and I figure he can walk there on his own.

"Spike." His cheeks are the color of virgin's blood they're so red. "I'm."

He's so bloody cute when he's all embarrassed and sputtering like a car that won't start, and any anger I still had in me over the boots and coat melts when those big, damp brown eyes find mine.

"S'alright, love. No worries." A grateful smile spreads on his face when he realizes I'm not going to pitch a fit over him losing his lunch, dinner, and subsequent snacks all over my shoes. "But if you're up to it, I really want to get this shit off my boots before it hardens. And no offense, but it smells like a Mnemoch crawled up your ass and died. Not so pleasant on the old nose if you know what I mean."


*****


God, I feel awful. Well, actually I feel a lot better since I alleviated the contents of my stomach onto Spike. He's so adorable as he tries not to curse while freshening himself up. Luckily, I'm clean as a whistle, whatever the hell that means. Splash of water on my face and I'm right as rain. Wonder where that came from.right as rain. Can't imagine anyone thinking rain is right, it's just wet. Yep, the sugar has officially devoured the few remaining brain cells I had. I still feel the need to apologize for what happened. I open my mouth to say I'm sorry when he meets my eyes. Again the skin crinkles around those stormy blue orbs as he flashes me a genuine smile, could stop my heart with those things. I don't see them very often, but when I do he looks so young and boyish (which is quite a feat considering he's a hundred and twenty-eight and change) I just want to eat him up.

I am overcome with this nearly rabid need to have him inside me and now. (Hard. Yep, even after tossing my cookies all over the undead boyfriend, I'm still the walking woody!) A look of concern clouds his face as I take his arm and hustle him out of the restroom. I look around wildly.somewhere, anywhere! BINGO! The fun house.

"Pet?"

The trepidation in his voice alerts me to the fact he thinks I've completely lost my mind. Then again, that portion of my fairly limited reasoning skills was what he spent the last fifteen minutes cleaning out of his boot. We enter the fun house amid maniacal laughter from electronic clowns. Clowns..shudder. Freakin' things give me chills. I pull him along, not even stopping to admire how freaky I look clinging to the arm of empty air in the wavy mirror. Door on the left looks interesting.

No freakin' way. It's a moon room.complete with black lights and glow in the dark star stickers all over the wall and ceiling. The floor is covered with black water filled tubes, instant waterbed. Good enough!

"Xan, what the hell are we-"

I cut off his words, my lips devouring his, slamming him forcefully against the door and grinning like the goon I know I am as it shuts with a resounding thud. I'm on fire.for him. My hands are everywhere, clutching and ripping at his clothes. Doing anything I can just to feel him naked against me. Obviously, he's gotten the point because there go my pants.



*****


He wants to shag in the bloody fun house? Fine, we'll shag in the bloody fun house. What I wanted to do in the first place. Minus the squishy floor and black lights and that rot, but I take it when and where I can get it. I think maybe it's his way of apologizing for what happened before, and hey.who am I to complain? Doesn't hurt that he's completely crazed, yanking the kit off my admittedly luscious bod that way. Now he's wiggling that hot ass of his against my cock like the naughty little vixen he is and it's all I can do to keep from slamming into it dry.

I playfully shove him face first into the wall and run my calloused hands down his thighs. I love to hear his breath hitch in his chest, to know that I do that to him. Powerful, ya know? I rake fingernails up his abdomen reveling in the muscles twitching beneath my fingertips. He's naked except for the pants bunched up around his ankles. Bloody beautiful, he is. Hard, tanned skin I can't resist biting with blunt teeth.

"Gods, Spike..feels so good" Xan whispers huskily.

I grind my near drooling erection between those muscular globes sliding it effortlessly up and down his skin. Right in the front pocket of duster, a battered tube of lube for just a situation like this.

"Hurry, I need you inside me."

Pop the top with my teeth and slather up my hand, smearing a generous amount over my shaft, gasping as it throbs in my hand. Run one smooth finger down his ass and rim his twitching hole. I slide it inside and his body tenses at the invasion. He makes these delicious whimpering noises as I stroke him in and out casually adding another finger and scissoring them to prepare him. I can't wait much longer as I crook my fingers to find his prostate. He trembles in my arms. I can't take anymore and remove my fingers before sliding myself inside his body to the hilt.

"Fuck, yes!" He screams and I know they can hear him clear through the park. He feels amazing squeezing around my cock as I set a punishing rhythm. I grip so hard at his slender hips that I know I'm leaving bruises, but he doesn't seem to mind as he pushes back against me. With the lubricant still coating my hand, I release his hip and grip his weeping rod, pulling and tugging it in time with my thrusts. Neither of us is going to last long as I feel my sac draw up into my body.

Xan's completely oblivious, but my ears pick up a bit of girlish laughter echoing in the corridor. I bite my lip to keep from laughing myself, because I can just see the look on the whelp's face when.

The door creaks a little as it opens, and for a split second the giggles continue. That is, until there's a rather violent collective gasp from behind me, and suddenly the air is filled with shocked muttering. I chance a look over my shoulder to see who it is that had the fortune of stumbling upon us and suddenly I'm howling.

Nuns! A whole, bloody gaggle of nuns! All of 'em penguined up and clutching at their rosaries like life preservers.

"Our Father, who art in heaven."

Guess Xander heard that part because his head snaps 'round right quick.

".hallowed be Thy name."

"Spike!" It's halfway between a squeak and a yelp, not the most dignified of sounds to be coming out of your lover when you're on the cusp of oblivion. And he's trying to push me off and cover his unmentionable parts from our audience at the same time.

"Thy kingdom come." The chanting is getting softer now, guess the chits recovered and realized watching an act of sodomy being performed with acrobatic enthusiasm don't quite mesh with the holy calling.

A couple more bone-shattering thrusts and I'm spilling myself in his clutching ass as he writhes beneath me.

I can't stop the laughter that bubbles up from my chest as we slump into a sated heap to the floor, me still buried inside his quivering body.

"Spike? What the hell are you laughing at? We've just traumatized a bunch of nuns for life!" He seethes through gritted teeth.

"Just remember, Xan, payback's are a bloody bitch."

END