Title: Broken Machine

Author: Dyybuk

Email: dyybuk@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or the premise of this series, no copyright infringement intended.

Setting: just after Primeval and Blind Date on Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel. (pretty much assumed to happen just before the season finales)

By Dyybuk
****

Xander's eyes hurt. The only reason he could tell they were open was because of how dry they are. His room was dark and shuttered, dank as a basement is, but also heavier. The air was cool and laden with moisture that brushed against every part of his body and mind. He hadn't slept for two days now, he just couldn't. It scared him, it was impossible for him to sleep. He would lie down and shut his eyes and still be awake for hours an hours. The endless awareness and lack of rest was dulling his mind. The thing he feared the most though was the cacophony of voices. They whispered and shouted, beckoned and spat, everything all at once. Xander was terrified, not of any demon or vampire he's afraid he's losing his mind.

* * *

"Xander wake up."

"Get up, you have to get a job so you can buy me things." Anya's voice pierced Xander's daze. He wasn't asleep, but he wasn't awake either.

"Why are you sleeping against the wall? It doesn't look very comfortable."

"Anya, why are you here?" Xander's head hurt and Anya's chatter was making the pounding worse. It felt like something was burrowing out of his temples.

"Hey, that no way to speak to me, Im your girlfriend." Anya's simple statement of fact and cute outrage probably would have made him laugh on any other day.

"I’m sorry, just had a pretty restless night" He whispered "again" under his breath but Anya didn't seem to hear it.

"What happened to your eyes? It looks like... well like something bad."

"I just had a rough night OK." The voices were still there, and they punctuated everything he heard and felt with a thousand terrible suggestions.

"Fine, but you are getting a job today."

"All right."

* * *

"Hey Buffy"

"Yep"

"Why is it that boys have to be so... well just... stupid?" Willows voice was sad but still inquisitive.

"It's those gosh-darn chromosomes Will."

"But thats not an excuse, I mean come on us girls have our share of problems and we aren't all idiots... are we. No of course not."

"So you found another picture of OZ huh."

"Yeah"

Buffy and Willow bustled about their dorm preparing for their first class. Finally being prepared enough, they open the door and step out.

"Do you think, well maybe that guys are just supposed to stupid?" Willows voice gave away what seemed like genuine concern, and Buffy couldn't help but laugh.

"I think that you just have a skewed perspective, due to recent experience."

"Yea, but that is what you have to base your decisions on right? What you have experienced and know." Willow's voice was starting to get really whiny.

"Let it slide Wills, OZ wasn't and idiot, just made a few choices that were... not good. Think about it. Is Xander a... well OK bad example but how about Giles. He isn't stupid."

"I guess so." They walked off down the hall and into their first class.

* * *

The unemployment office was a government pit of hell. Xander was decided, and he was tired, and this damn place was making him mad. His eyes darted around the board looking for a job he hadn't already had and been fired from. Anya had left after they had had breakfast. He honestly could say that he hadn't had a worse breakfast in his life. The food was all bland, the company annoying. But he felt bad when he thought that. He loves Anya doesn't he? Though he would never say it out loud he was sure that he is.

"To hell with this crap" He threw his hand out as he turned and walked away in frustration and disgust.

He stepped outside, the sun was still low in the eastern sky and the morning was probably beautiful and refreshing. It made his stomach turn. The brightness, the ambient noise, everyone walking by smiling. His head whispered to him what he wanted to do to make them stop smiling. NO!! SHUT UP! He screamed inside his mind. His head was pounding. Then a peculiar feeling came over him, his chest an forearms started to itch. He looked down at his arm and a weird shaped, faint scar was there. He was sure it wasn't there before. He checked his other arm, the exact same. Damn it they itched, he scratched harder. He looked around and saw an alley, dark and shadowy, perfect for his headache and to check the itchy spots on his chest. He stepped into the alley and pulled his shirt up. "Oh man" he whispered to himself. His chest was a mess of what looked like really large scars. They're all faint and lighter than the rest of his skin. They went all the way around onto his back and, now that he looked they were on his legs too.

"I gotta get me to Giles." For the first time in two days he was actually to preoccupied to notice the voices or the headache and fatigue, as he quickly ran to Giles's house.

* * *

"Yes, Yes hold on." Giles went to his door an unlocked it. When it swung open it almost hit him, and he took a step back.

"Giles you have to help me." Xander looking frantic and scared stumbled in. To Giles he resembled a corpse. Giles quickly shut the door behind him.

"My goodness, Xander what happened?" Giles took Xander's arm and led him over to the couch. They both sat down, Xander on the couch and Giles on a chair across from him.

"What is wrong." Giles stared at Xander anticipating a story about some demon.

"Well, I dont know, but look at these!" Xander grabbed his shirt and pulled it up like a girl flashing someone.

"Oh' dear..." Giles trailed off as he took a closer look at the seemingly random and oddly shaped "scars"

"Xander where did you get all these?"

"I woke up and they were there I guess, I mean I just noticed them when I was out walking."

"Have you been playing around with magic, or sleeping in poison ivy or something?"

"Of course not, I may be dumb but I learned my lesson the first time. I dont know where they are from, I have done nothing different, and the last time I even came in contact with a demon or anything was with you guys at the initiative."

"Xander you and I are going to be doing a lot of researching. Call Buffy and Willow and whoever else because we are going to need their help

"Damn it Giles this is no time to be British!"

"Beg your pardon" Giles didn't believe he could have heard that right

"Just you and I, I don't want anyone else knowing about... well these." He sounded very exasperated and forceful and Giles had no choice but to concede. He didn't think he would want to share something like that with other people either.

"All right, but somehow I think we may at least be needing Willow and Tara, especially if we find a magical cure or whatever."

"NO!, absolutely not, at least not until we figure out what it is. "

"Fine, but I think you are being awfully childish. I recommend you go and see a doctor, make sure it is nothing normal..."

"Normal?" Xander said with disbelief

"...yes we have to know, when your done come right back here, I will be researching."

(2 )

"Xander what are you doing?"

Xander snapped upright, almost tipping over his chair, he felt nauseous and fatigued. His body was dully burning with exhaustion. Buffy was standing next to him and Giles was looking up at him from his couch, an old dusty tome on his lap.

"Hey, Xander, what were you doing?" Buffy asked again with more force thist time.

"What I just dosed off." he noticed the pencil in his hand.

"What were you..." she picked up the piece of paper.

"Xander, what is all this? It looks like some kind of... well I don't know. What is it?"

"I, uh have been studying my ancient... uh, languages."

"Which one, let me see." Giles actually sounded pleased with him.

Giles took the paper from Buffy, he looked at it for a moment then his eyes widened.

"Let me see something." He muttered to himself. He quickly ran off to his bookshelf and started searching for a book.

"Xander, you have really been making good on all your spare time haven’t you." Buffy turned to see Xander with his head on the desk.

"Xander are you OK?"

He didn't move

"Xander!" She yelled

"Oh my god Xander!" she grabbed him and started to shake him.

"BUFFY GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Giles quickly grabbed her.

"Why, what is going on?"

"I should have recognized it earlier, with the raised patches and scarring."

"What?"

"Ok, uhm Buffy, Xander is going through a transformation. I'm not sure how, but he is becoming what the Ancient Welsh called a Solitaire. It is unmistakable. The unrest, the welts and scars, and this." He held up the paper Xander had written on.

"These symbols Buffy, are the alphabet of a very rare and demonic language, know as Demagoggue. It is a foul and evil tongue spoken by necromancers and other demonic forces."

"What are they doing to Xander?" Buffy was getting more and more fearful for her friend.

"I don't know what triggered it, but I do know that it can't be stopped and we are going to need lots of help. Call everyone you can. I'm going to call Angel in from LA, even bring Spike, he may be useful."

"OK," Buffy ran already planning her new task.

* * *

"OK Giles everyone I could get is here."

Giles looked around. Tara and Willow are standing behind the couch with Buffy leaning on Riley's arm near the front door. Spike is sitting in a chair tilting it back towards the corner. Anya was kneeling next to Xander's limp body on the floor. Xander is tied down with a rope going from each arm and leg to a corner.

"OK everyone listen to me, Xander somehow has become the target of a supernatural transformation. In the end the result should be very good, I imagine for all of us. But in the meantime he has become a centerpoint for everything wrong you can think of. He is very empowered and very weak. In this state demons and vampires and whatever else will be attracted to him like he were the hellmouth personally. We are going to need everybody’s help."

"OK Willow and Tara, I’m going to need you to put these wards around Xander." Giles held up a book

"Ok, but what..."

"I'm sorry but we don't have time for questions Willow it has to be now. Xander is in danger of being infected by the demonic or becoming possessed, we have to act now."

"Sorry, come on Tara." She took the book from Giles and starting reading and gathering ingredients.

"OK, Riley and Spike, I'm going to need you all to guard the immediate area of the house."

"Why should I help you blighters." Spike asked incredulously

"Because if you don't Xander is going to become something more terrible than you could imagine and he will do things to all of us, including you that will be extremely unpleasant."

"Well mate, if you say it like that." Spike went to the weapons chest and started rummaging about.

"I like killing, and if it has to be demons why not. Maybe someone will hit me in the face and break this chip..." he trailed off muttering to himself.

"Riley, do you think you could get the help of some of the ex-members of the initiative?"

"I don't know, they all pretty much scattered to the wind, but I'll try. I also managed to salvage some weaponry, I'll get that too." Riley quickly went to Giles's phone and started dialing.

"Alright Buffy, this is going to be difficult, I hope Angel would have arrived on time to help but...

"He did" Angel said while walking in the door, Wesley and Cordelia following him.

"Excellent, come quickly time is of the essence." Angel quickly stepped next to Buffy, the two acknowledging each others existence only with a quick glance.

"Buffy, Angel you have to get something to aid in Xander's safe transformation. Without this artifact the temptation is to great for him. Right now Xander is the piece of rope in a tug of war between good and evil. Good is fighting and uphill battle and without help Xander is certainly going to be forced into the legions of hell." Giles looked up, both Buffy and Angel looked concerned and glanced over at Xander. Anya was sitting cross legged holding Xander's head in her lap and stroking his hair.

"I need you two to quest, well, you have to go into the hellmouth."

"What!" Buffy exclaimed.

"I know it sounds crazy, but we can cast spells for passage and return. Inside hell there is a great dark river, you've heard the story, the river Styx. The boatman on the river is Cheron.In the legends you must pay him two golden coins to cross. But you two don't cross, you have to persuade him to give you two coins."

"How do we do that?" Angel asked

"Well the only account of it ever happening is in ancient Assyria, when a hero journeyed into hell and brought back Cheron's fair on the river. The story says that he forced the dark boatman to drink of his river and lose his memory. The real problem is in the process the warrior lost his memory also from just touching the water. He wandered hell for a thousand years until his memory returned."

"Oh, Great" Buffy said " What do we do then, just wear some rubber gloves?"

"I don't know but remeber time is very important. I will have Willow and Tara get to work on your passage spell as soon as possible."

"Cordelia, help Willow and Tara, Wesley your with me, we have a lot of research to do."

* * *

Xander was hazed and incoherent, his body was suspended in the middle of the room, the ropes were a little slacked as his body was floating almost 4 feet off the ground. He twitched and spasmed so quickly he looked like he was seizuring in super-spead. His face was twisting and wracked with pain. All around him there were swirls of light and flashes of thousands of colors.

"What is going on!" Anya wailed as she turned away unable to look at Xander pain.

"He is being transformed" Giles replied

"His body is breaking itself down and rebuilding, while at the same time every spirit and ghost within a hundred dimensions of him is trying to possess him."

Willow and Tara finished the last symbol around Xanders now floating body. Immediately he fell to the floor and started writhing about on the ground. The light and wind was gone but he still seemed to be in immense pain.

"Good job, now I need you two to start this spell." he handed them a pair of very old looking books "and Wesley should be back with the supplies any minute now."

"Ok..." she started to walk away then turned back towards him "Giles... do you think Xander will be OK after this?"

Giles sighed and took of his glasses. He looked up into Willow's eyes from where he was sitting." Honestly Willow... I don't know if he will even be Xander anymore."

(3 )

"I still recall the taste of my tears,
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore,
scraping through my head 'till I dont wanna sleep... anymore.
Come on and tell me,
make this all go away,
you make this all go away
I’m down to just one thing, and I’m starting to scare myself
make this all go away,
you make this all go away
I just want something
I can never have...

Nine Inch Nails
"Something I can Never Have"
******************

Everything is sliding upwards, but slowly. I'm not falling, I'm sinking. Everything is swirls and colors around me, but I dont know if thats because of my eyes or just where I am. Sounds faintly carry like bass notes through me and sing pretty songs to me. Peace...peace.

"Now I am nothing" whispers forcefully through everything. I am drifting, my arms and legs comfortably fading with me and my body stops the fuss. I can feel the garish beat of my heart giving in and slowing, why breathe... pleasant numbness. NO, I need Buffy, she can help me I dont belong here, I need Buffy.

"Shhhhhh..."

Now I am nothing.

The powerful but soothing whisper comes back "who are you?"

"I am Xander" I say it but without my mouth, I feel it and then it is communicated.

"Who are you?"

"I am Xander" My body is so warm and cozy... everything is OK.

"WHO ARE YOU?" The voice grew to a harsh tone of reproach, as if an abject lesson was being taught.

"I am Xan..." I thought, and stopped answering from habit. I let my feelings tell me.

"I am nothing" It felt like it was the only right answer.

* * *

"Bloody Hell, why are Fallam Demons here!" Spike growled through his barred fangs while throwing an overhand right into a many-eyed, guerrilla looking beast.

"Graham! Pull back and reform the line at the hedge!" Riley surveyed the scene, he had managed to bring in Graham and seven other ex-initiative members, which was rather amazing he felt. They were fighting well, but the enemy... the enemy, there were so many and so varied. He knew it was a matter of time. Spike, though an exceptional fighter, is a loose cannon and he had already given up on trying to give him orders, but he's still happy to have him, vampire or no.

"Watch the roof, The word is a cult of Sowki Demons are in town." Spike seemed to be handling a trio of vampires very well.

"Why the roof" Riley had never heard of any Sowki Demons.

"They are big bloomin' spiders mate, they'll web their way right up there" Almost on queue Riley saw some shiny ropes starting to be cast across the roof.

"On it" He ran towards the lattice and stated climbing. This is going to be a long night.

* * *

Buffy and Angel were jogging across the lawn to the wreckage of Sunnydale High. Without breaking stride Buffy grabbed Angel's arm and pulled him closer.

"Angel, this is important." She stopped just inside the blasted ruins of the quad. He stopped next to her.

"Yes, what is it Buffy." He had an idea where this was going

"We have to be quick, and well, you've been, well to hell before, so could you take the lead here?"

"Buffy, we can figure this out hen we are there, what is this really about?" Angel saw straight through her and wanted to clear up the issue as fast as possible.

"OK, well, ok, I know you never really liked Xander, but he is really important to me. I want you to promise me, that e can put aside everything.' She looked up at him with a thousand emotions in her eyes, but the most prominent being pained longing.

"Buffy, you know that I will"

"Everything, our past, whatever disputes you and Xander have had. Everything, I cant lose Xander, I just can't"

"I promise" Angel hated loving her so much. At moments like this it burned in him him so much he liked it, so much it hurt that he couldn't embrace it.

"Lets hope these passport medallion thingies work." She looked down to her chest at the golden disc with an engraving of a sun and several other symbols.

"Lets hope"

They ran through the school and quickly went to the sub-floor of the destroyed basement. Angel didn’t spare a moment and spoke the words.

"Tak Ah Lah, En Tow! Ten Ah Lak!" He disappeared in a burst of fire and ash that immediately made Buffy uneasy. It too closely resembled dusting.

She stepped onto the crevice and spoke the same words. In a flash of pain and heat she was immediately transported to Hell. She wished she had a map, like Dante's Inferno right about now.

Angel absently spoke from beside her "...and into the valley of death rode the six-hundred"

She couldn't think of anything to say, the words were too "biblish" and what she is seeing silenced her immediately.

"Lets go." Angel took steps forward into one of the many directions they could go in.

"Yeah, lets..." This wasn't what she expected.

Thanks for reading,
Dyybuk