Title: Conversations

Author: Caliadragon

Category: AU/Crossover

Fandom: Buffy/Surprise

Spoilers: Season 5 & 6: Once More With Feeling

Rating: PG

Pairing: Xander/Anya, Xander/Surprise

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be.

Archive: Any List I send it to, those with previous permission and BC.

Summary: Xander and Anya talk, and Xander calls on an old friend.

Warnings: Slight Angst

Thanks to Edi for the beta.

Conversations
by Caliadragon

Anya sighed sadly and walked into the apartment. She was tired, confused and heart sick. The demon had been defeated the night before, but in the process all of their lives had been shattered. Sweet had managed to reveal just about every secret between the Scoobies. She could only be thankful that she, Tara and Willow hadn't sung about just how far they had gone to get Buffy back. She loved Xander desperately, and he had spiraled into a deep depression after Buffy died.

Anya had been afraid that she was going to lose him, so when Willow had proposed bringing Buffy back she was surprised that Xander refused to be a part of the ceremony. Later, when Willow talked her into giving Xander the potion to compel him to help her, Anya agreed. At the time she had thought it was the perfect solution. Buffy would come back from hell, and Xander would be happy again.

It hadn't turned out that way, though. Buffy had been ripped from heaven instead, and Xander was beginning to pull away from everyone. The guilt from the revelations last night had sent him into a silence so deep she hadn't been able to penetrate it.

Making her way into the kitchen, she was surprised to see Xander sitting there. He looked up at her, and she could see in his eyes that something bad was going to be said.

"Do you love me Anya?" His question caught her off guard.

"Of course I love you," she answered.

"Anya... Do you love me?" he asked again, sharper this time.

Anya bit her lip, and tears filled her eyes. "I don't know."

"Why are you with me?" His voice was so sad.

"I-I like you and you treat me nice. I thought this was what we were supposed to go to next." Tears began to roll down her cheeks.

Xander straightened away from the cabinet and walked to her. Anya cried when he pulled her into his arms and held on tight. "Anya, I do love you. As one of the best friends I will ever have. I think that's how you feel about me too. Am I right?" The tenderness in his voice lanced through her.


She nodded and cried harder. "I think maybe I should move out."

"Yeah, so do I," Xander agreed. It hurt, but the relationship they were going for just wasn't there.

++++++

Xander walked amongst the trees, heading for a quiet and secluded area that no-one knew about. As he stepped out of the trees the soft splashing of a stream could be heard, and sitting on its bank was a man he had missed these last few months. Their friendship had taken them both by surprise. Both of them had been overshadowed by what the others in their lives saw them as. The man turned and smiled at him as he approached.

"Hey." Xander smiled in return and sat down beside him. For a long time neither spoke. Finally Xander sighed.

"Anya and I broke up."

"I'm sorry, that must hurt. What happened?" his companion asked, sympathetically.

Xander smiled. "The same old same old. A demon came along and we all told things we didn't mean to. I realized that, while I loved Anya, I wasn't in love with her. I confronted her and she told me it was the same for her. I should have known I couldn't stay with her. I just thought I was in love with two people."

His friend looked at him in surprise. "Who's the second person?"

"You," Xander answered, and pulled his friend into a deep kiss. The kiss deepened until they both had to break away to breathe.

"I love you too. I've loved you for a long time. I just never thought you'd return those feelings."

Xander smiled at his love and kissed him again. When they broke apart he looked him in the eye. "I love you, Harry Potter. Will you come with me and meet my friends?"

Harry grinned and kissed him again. "I'd love to."

The End